Hey it's Mel back with another chapter. First of all thank you to all who have been following this fic. I'd really like to interact with more of you! I want more friends in this fandom tbh
This chapter is pretty heavy, but I feel like I was able to convey a lot of plot elements. A lot gets revealed this chapter and several foundations have been laid for times ahead. Enjoy!
chapter three: half and half.
Late May 10, 1864.
A heavy fog clouded the atmosphere, but the stench of blood thickened it. Katsuki watched in silence as Yagi-kyokuchou was catching his breath after they had to slay a group of bloodthirsty ronin. Even in the mists, Katsuki could see muscle dwindling away from Yagi-kyokuchou's once perfect physique. If it were anyone else, Katsuki would have plenty to say. His admiration and devotion to the Chief of the Yoikusa ran deeper than the overwhelming dread that surrounded them.
Finally the Chief of the Yoikusa stood tall, turning to his subordinate captain. "Young Bakugou, the threat is over. Arrange for your team to clear the carnage."
"Osu," Katsuki replied, before turning to his men to bark out the orders. They immediately got to work, though clean-up was never a great job.
Aizawa saw them in the distance and arrived with samurai under his command. "Yagi-kyokuchou, I have an update on the situation." When given the go ahead by his superior, he continued to speak. "Todoroki has captured a… being of some kind who is believed to have distributed the Elixir – his name... they were referring to him as a 'Nomu'. This isn't the first time we've captured a distributor referred to as such, but we're going to have Shinsou help with the interrogation this time. We also captured a young man who seems to have resisted the effects better than most, but his memory isn't very good."
Yagi-kyokuchou processed the information fed through to him. "Good work, Aizawa-sanchou. I will need you to be present for the interrogation, but I will have young Todoroki join you as well."
Katsuki joined the other two men, now that he was certain his division were sticking to their task. "Oi, Aizawa-sanchou, have you heard from Uraraka? She was supposed to be meeting us here by now. What about Kirishima?"
"I haven't, but Jirou's on her way to our location," Aizawa replied, raising an eyebrow at the Second Division Captain. It wasn't often he used the actual names of fellow comrades, but he could see Katsuki was more on edge than he was willing to show.
The one in question had broken out into a careful sprint, scaling the rooftops of late night Kyoto. Even though it was nothing but fog ahead of her, Kyouka knew this city better than the back of her hand. Her senses were keen and heightened and she was nimble on her feet, leaving no sound in her wake. These movements were urgent though. With a final leap, she landed between the Chief and Head Commander.
"Yagi-kyokuchou, I have an urgent report!" Kyouka announced, wasting no further time before detailing it all. "The Fifth and Sixth Divisions encountered another group of transformed ronin near the outskirts of Southeast Kyoto. However it is much larger than the groups you and Todoroki-kumichou encountered. Third and Fourth Division are already on their way over as back-up. The problem is that Tokoyami-kumichou's group were ambushed and he's got very serious injuries. Uraraka-dono was nearby and has already got her group backing them up too. She used her abilities to rush Tokoyami-kumichou back to headquarters. Kirishima-kumichou went with her to help protect them – Tokoyami-kumichou's blood was attracting the transformed. However, I am requesting that more back-up be sent to Shouji-dono's location!"
Katsuki's eyes were wide – to think that so much was happening on the opposite end of Kyoto. Yagi-kyokuchou didn't have time to ponder decisions, so he made the decisions right then and there. "Young Bakugou and I will head over with our men. Aizawa-sanchou, finish up here and head back to headquarters with Todoroki's Division. Jirou, call for Shuzenji-sensei to be brought to headquarters. Escort her there personally. Everyone, out!"
"Osu...!"
As Katsuki followed the same path as Yagi-kyokuchou, he couldn't help but notice that his back was smaller than it used to be. His footsteps were easier to keep up with now. While Katsuki was able to believe that his vice-captain and Eijirou were handling themselves, his concerns for the Chief only heightened by the day.
Heading over to the location Jirou specified to them, Katsuki made a silent promise to himself. As the Chief gets older and frailer, Katsuki would step up to take over the reins of the Yoikusa for him.
It killed him inside that he wasn't chosen for the position Eijirou was now in, but Katsuki knew he had something bigger to prove.
Ochaco fell to her knees, still holding Eijirou over her as he lapped at the blood seeping out from her shoulder. She felt faint, but she knew there was no point throwing him off her using her abilities. His own power would prevent him getting knocked out, and now she lacked the strength to stop him going after Fumikage. But it was terrifying, having Eijirou behave this way. Katsuki's closest and dearest friend…
"Kirishima-kun…" she breathed out weakly, causing the other to pause. This was followed by silence between the pair, with the only other noise being the panic within Fumikage's room where he was being treated. Then she heard a sound that broke her heart – the soft sobs as Eijirou's mind returned to reality. "Kirishima-kun?"
"I'm sorry… fuck… I'm so sorry…" he gasped as it dawned on him what he had done. "Shit..!" he brushed a hand gently over the chewed skin of Ochaco's shoulder and she flinched. Even though she knew her wound would heal faster than the average human's would, right now it was still extremely vulnerable. "Uraraka, please forgive me..! That wasn't the real me, you know that… right?!"
She was so used to the strong Eijirou who could light up a room with his toothy grin alone. The Eijirou she knew was funny and spirited, not full of misery and self-doubt. He was still trying his best even now, but she missed the Eijirou she met when she first joined the Yoikusa so much.
Right now, Eijirou had succumbed to the side-effects. It was likely the time spent escorting her and Fumikage back that broke him down. She understood that much – the state of Fumikage was still an image glaring in her mind, and she knew it would haunt Mezo even more.
"There's nothing to forgive, Kirishima-kun…" she threw her arms around him, squeezing him tight. "You're my friend. You helped me bring Tokoyami-kun back to Headquarters. Thank you." Such words only made Eijirou break down even more. Ochaco was being too kind and he knew he didn't deserve a shred of it. He hated this unmanly side of himself, this weak side… he was supposed to be strong – they both were – but Ochaco was holding the fortifications up for the two of them combined. "There's another thing I've realised, Kirishima-kun."
"What..?" he asked softly, his spirit like glass.
"You snapped back to normal much faster drinking my blood," she answered gently, but firmly. "Wasn't that one of Tokoyami-kun's theories? You proved it."
Eijirou's eyes widened as Ochaco referenced the experiments of the Fifth Division. Thinking back on them, he did see different formulas tried on his men – he didn't want them thought of as test subjects, not while the majority of them still had their humanity intact. The Sixth Division Captain exhaled a shaky laugh.
"I just chomped on you and all you can think about is that..? You're unbelievable…"
Ochaco giggled slightly in spite of herself, finally withdrawing herself from him. "Yeah, um… I'll need to get this treated too."
"Bakugou's gonna be pissed off with me once he finds out," Eijirou realised now that he was getting a better look at the wound he caused.
She placed a hand over it softly. "Let me handle Bakugou-kun. He may be angry but… more than anything he worries about you. You're a precious friend to him."
Eijirou managed a small, though genuine smile in return. He would suppress the anguish and guilt for now.
As soon as Tsuyu pulled Deku into Fumikage's room, his thoughts of Uraraka were side-tracked by what he next laid his eyes upon. There was Denki, using his electrical power to keep Fumikage's heart pumping. Hanta was cleaning the wounds and talking to his patient, anything to keep the man awake. Those aspects of the scene did not shock Deku at all. In fact he expected people to already be in here caring for Fumikage.
He thought the contents of his stomach were going to force themselves up his throat. There was a long, jagged cut along Fumikage's left arm. Normally the cut should be clean, but upon closer inspection, Deku realised the worst. Not just about Fumikage's arm, but along his right shoulder, his left cheek and—oh.
Fumikage's right ear was completely gone.
"How did this happen..?" Deku finally broke into the thick tension between Denki and Hanta as they worked on keeping their comrade alive. "I can see where the enemy's katana landed a hit but…" He knelt down beside Fumikage's body, reaching for tools to help Hanta and Tsuyu with cleaning out the wounds. "These wounds… it's like animals tore into him."
Tsuyu shook her head. "Tokoyami was cut down and then… the enemies were like cannibals, surrounding him all at once."
"Cannibals?" Deku was a ghostly shade of white, quivering as he imagined what happened. "So the uneven wounds…"
"They were out for his blood, they didn't care if they got flesh while they were at it!" Denki barked out furiously, his electrical charge making Fumikage's body jump a little.
"Stop," Hanta responded firmly; Denki corrected his electricity flow. "If you use too much of your power, that's it for him."
"I know… I just hate it! I hate that damn Elixir!" the blonde man cried out in frustration. "Why did it have to be made? Why was it funded? Why did people decide to infect the population with it? We could lose Tokoyami because of it."
Hanta looked sympathetic, unsure what to say to that. Tsuyu cut in before Denki's frustrations were left hanging in this chaotic place. "We won't lose Tokoyami," she assured Denki, "he's strong."
Deku bit his lip as the other spoke, then hardened his resolve. Everything that Denki spoke of terrified him and left him with many questions, but he couldn't ask those right now. The priority is Fumikage. "Give him my blood. I'm sure you all are aware of the healing properties of demons' blood… and my power has amazing restoration capabilities."
"Are you sure?" asked Tsuyu, hesitant about this plan. "If you consent to this, it will hurt and… I can't be sure of the side effects it will have on Tokoyami."
"Yes, I'm sure. Please let me help Tokoyami-kumichou."
Tsuyu glanced to the other two young men, who nodded their approval.
Fumikage had been quiet this entire time, but he opened his eyes enough to flicker them towards Deku. "Thank… you…" he breathed out weakly.
"Don't thank me just yet," Deku responded, but his voice was soft and assuring.
Very carefully he took a knife and made sure it was disinfected with alcohol before making a clean slice on the back of his left arm. Tsuyu took a small cup to help catch the blood leaking from the new cut and once it was full enough, she carefully poured the liquid down Fumikage's throat. After what felt like forever, they could see a slight difference in the wounds that he'd sustained. They were sealing up, if only a little.
Denki frowned. "It's not healing fast enough."
"Humans simply don't heal the way we do," Tsuyu reminded him. Deku nodded – but Fumikage was still improving faster than the average human would. His blood was having an effect. All they could do now was keep tending to him until a doctor arrived.
The thumping of hurried footsteps caused the four to look up from their patient. Kyouka slid the door wide open. "I've brought Shuzenji-sensei..!" she breathed out, and a little old lady stepped into the room from behind her with a bag over her shoulder. Before Kyouka could collapse to the floor in exhaustion, Denki rushed up to catch her in his arms to keep her standing.
Slinging Kyouka's arm over his shoulder despite her tired protests, Denki began to talk her down. "Kyouka, you've been running all over Kyoto relaying messages, haven't you? You've done amazingly. Come on, let me help you back to your room at least."
Kyouka bit her lip before nodding. "Sero, tend to Uraraka. I got a quick glimpse but… her shoulder isn't good either. I'm certain Kirishima fed from her." She sounded bitter, but she could definitely see a comparison between Ochaco's wounds and Fumikage's. The chewed flesh, the emphasis on the extraction of blood… she despised it.
Denki shook his head in disbelief. "No… Kirishima told me he wasn't craving it, he wasn't..!"
"If he wasn't before, he is now," Kyouka responded flatly. "And if Bakugou finds out…" she didn't even need to finish that sentence. They all knew.
Hanta understood the importance of his role. "Alright, I'll help Uraraka."
Tsuyu's eyes widened, clearly shocked. Deku felt his stomach churn at the thought. "I'll take care of Kirishima-kumichou. Deku-chan, stay with Shuzenji-sensei and Tokoyami-kumichou."
"Okay, but… we can't hide it from Kacchan… he would hate it even more if we tried to cover it up," Deku pointed out. He knew what Katsuki was like and no lie ever got past him for long.
Deku was met with momentary silence, eventually ended by Kyouka. "Deku's right… and I know my captain would agree as well. With Tokoyami injured and Kirishima struggling with the effects of the Elixir, not to mention Aizawa-sanchou leaving in less than two days… there will be an urgent meeting without a doubt. So everyone should get to work and ready themselves for what's coming."
Denki managed a grin. "You kept saying you weren't leader material, but you were pretty on point just now."
Kyouka muttered right back at him, "Just saying what you should have been saying, 'most senior leader in the room right now' Denki Kaminari…"
"Oi oi, I was getting there eventually, Jirou..!"
"Sure, sure…"
The pair headed off, bickering lightly but Deku couldn't help but detect an underlying fondness behind it. But as soon as Denki and Kyouka had left, a heavy tension weighed down upon the others once more. Hanta left as well to take care of Ochaco, and before Tsuyu made her way to Eijirou, her eyes fell upon Deku once more.
"Deku-chan… I'm sure you're wondering about this 'Elixir'," she got to the heart of Deku's questions right now and verbalised them, "… I'll make a demand that you be told about it. Todoroki-kumichou and the others have hesitated for far too long."
With that, Tsuyu left, finally shutting the door behind her.
While Kyouka was speaking with the others, Shuzenji-sensei knelt down at Fumikage's side. She reached into her bag to get the medicine and tools she needed in order to get to work. Deku was surprised to see a woman as old as she appeared to be, but he observed her as she worked, listening to the others as he did so. She spoke gently with Tokoyami, checking him over in a professional manner.
When Denki, Kyouka, Hanta and Tsuyu finally left, Deku's job was to assist Shuzenji-sensei. He knew deep in his heart that he must have watched Hisashi work with medicine like this, and that Inko assisted him the way he was assisting Shuzenji now. No matter how hard Deku tried, his mind would not grant him with the clear memory.
That wasn't what was important though.
Right now, Fumikage is more important. Eventually Shuzenji-sensei turned to Deku and her expression said plenty.
"What is it..?" Deku enquired, though he feared what she might have to say.
Shuzenji-sensei didn't answer him, turning back to Fumikage. "Tokoyami-dono, your wounds have been tended to. I will be giving you some medicine and my orders are absolute – you must focus on making a full recovery. Do not resume any duties that contain risk of physical harm. I want you to rest. The medicine I am giving you will help with that."
Fumikage stared up at the ceiling, already in a daze. He would be told these words over and over, but there is only one thing that was on his mind. "Will I be able to handle my blade ever again?"
The doctor closed her eyes, her tone solemn. "I am sorry, Tokoyami-dono. With these injuries, you will never be able to wield a katana ever again."
Deku could feel her words tear Fumikage up more than any enemy sword ever would. But not even Deku could imagine the severity of the impact these words would have on the Fifth Division Captain.
Everything Fumikage worked towards, everything he trained and studied and sweated and stressed over, all that he had achieved… it had all been snatched from him in the darkness of the night.
He would never forgive this.
...
Early May 11, 1864.
Katsuki was pacing the corridors of the Yoikusa Headquarters, having finished his duty for the night. It was the hour of the tiger and the streets of Kyoto had been swept up of fakes. Prisoners were taken for interrogation in a few hours, the injured were taken care of. As he was making his way to check on his vice-captain, he saw Deku out in the courtyard speaking to Tenya. Katsuki had already heard about Fumikage as soon as he got back with Mezo and others. Mezo had already rushed to his captain's side and hasn't left since. But there was something about this scene that just wasn't right.
"I just wish I could have done more," Deku admitted, not even looking his companion in the eye. "Even if I couldn't have changed the results, I wish I had something better to say."
Tenya shook his head. "You did all that you could. In fact, the idea to use your blood was very innovative. I am certain Tokoyami-dono is grateful for that." His voice was assuring, but Katsuki could see the look in his fellow captain's eyes. This was a grave situation for everyone involved, but none were facing it worse than Fumikage.
"Oi, Glasses," Katsuki strode towards the pair, who didn't even have the heart to react to his approach. "Where's Round Face? I was expecting her to be with you two like usual." The pair exchanged glances, hesitant to answer. "Where is she?" he asked again, his tone harsher.
"She's resting!" Deku answered immediately at that second prompting. "It's best if you leave her be, she really needs it..!"
"Bakugou-dono," Tenya cut in, seeing that Katsuki was planning to march on over to her anyway. "She was injured tonight as well. Not as severely, but Sero-kun told us she was asleep. Please wait until later in the morning to see her."
Katsuki made a 'hmph' noise in response. "I won't wake her then. I just need to see that she's fucking okay. Got a damn problem with that?" Nobody dared argue with that. "Good. I'm checking on her."
Aside from further emphasis on not waking her up, Katsuki received no further complaints or answers to that. He made a beeline for Ochaco's room. Hearing that she was injured wasn't what bothered him. It was the idea that she got injured in a way that required the attention of others. If it was one thing that Katsuki couldn't help but envy about demons, it was their powers of restoration. They didn't get sick easily, nor did they take long to recover from injuries, internal or external.
Whoever did this to his vice-captain was going to pay. Too bad Hanta had already retired for the night, or Katsuki was seriously going to have words about what happened. Eijirou was with Tsuyu sorting out the members of their division, and even Katsuki knew not to get in the middle of that.
He reached the door to Ochaco's room and very carefully slid it open, making sure not to wake her. Soon enough he realised that didn't even matter. Ochaco was lying on her side on her futon, back to the door. He could see that she wasn't leaning on her wounded side, noticing the exposed skin of her arm, her upper back, and then the bandages that covered her shoulder, nearing her neck. Normally it wasn't appropriate for a man to see a woman like this, but such thoughts didn't even cross Katsuki's mind.
What he saw was that his vice-captain was injured. What he heard was her soft sobs muffled into her pillow.
She definitely wasn't asleep.
"Uraraka," Katsuki began, not really thinking first. With a sharp gasp, she turned, pulling up her blankets to try and conceal herself. It was only then that he realised that the others were probably right – he shouldn't have come here. "… Shit, look, I just wanted to see that you were okay."
"I-I'm fine..!" Ochaco spluttered, though she flinched a bit as her movements caused her shoulder to hurt some more. "I-I will be, I've been told to rest and um, rest I shall! Good work captain, I will chat tomorrow..!" She let out a sheepish laughter, making light of her situation.
Katsuki wasn't having a bar of it, already stomping over to her bedside after slamming her door shut. He sat himself down on the tatami mat by her futon and scowled. "I already saw that you weren't okay. Don't be a fucking idiot. Tell me what happened."
Ochaco looked away, avoiding his piercing eyes. "Promise me you won't yell… not at me or anybody. Please…"
"I don't fucking yell over shit—" Ochaco threw him a withering look and he backed down. "Look, I promise I won't yell. As your captain, it's my job to look out for you," Katsuki insisted. It was clear he wasn't going to leave until he got some answers.
She fidgeted a little before lowering her blankets. Moonlight seeped through the window and into the room and it exposed her pearly skin against red stained bandages. "You were told about my escorting Tokoyami-kun back to headquarters, didn't you?" she asked, trying to figure out where to begin with her story. Katsuki nodded. "Well… By the time I managed to get Tokoyami-kun back to headquarters… Kirishima-kun couldn't take it anymore. The smell of blood was overwhelming him. He wasn't himself in that moment. I knew I had to stop him from reaching Tokoyami-kun, so while the others tended to him, I held him in place. The… the only thing that returned Kirishima-kun to normal was him drinking my blood. But I don't blame Kirishima-kun, so please don't blame him either..!"
"I don't."
Such a quick response shut Ochaco down immediately. Anxiously, Ochaco darted her eyes to her captain. Katsuki's expression was unreadable. He didn't say anything else, but he leaned over her to try get a closer look at her wound. Reaching to her, a calloused hand brushed hazel locks of hair from Ochaco's neck. She shivered slightly. He wanted to see the wound beneath the dressings. His eyes met hers, silently asking for permission. She drew in a breath and nodded.
With such gentle hands that Ochaco couldn't believe it was really him, Katsuki loosened the knot holding the bandages in place and pushed them aside. He was so close, Ochaco could feel warm breath against her skin. It was embarrassing, but she knew what he was doing.
Katsuki wanted to see the wounds that Eijirou had inflicted, though unintentional. His cold expression hardened upon seeing bite marks that would probably leave scars. She wasn't bleeding anymore – in fact it looked for the most part healed if judged on a superficial level. However, Katsuki was a warrior and he knew that Eijirou wasn't breaking into the flesh on a shallow level. A chunk of flesh must have been taken at the very least. The only thing that ensured Ochaco's recovery was the fact she was a demon, and the fact that Eijirou was already capable of such a thing…
He couldn't put it into words.
Ochaco placed a cool hand over Katsuki's, which was resting hotly against her arm, a fistful of bandages between his rough skin and her own. "I'm sorry, Bakugou-kumichou. I should have handled the situation better. The only thing I was really thinking about was keeping Tokoyami-kumichou safe."
His red eyes were so intense that she couldn't even look at him. Katsuki spoke, but his voice was so restrained as he held to the promise he made earlier. "What happened… wasn't your goddamn fault. I'm not angry at you, damn it. And I know everyone thinks I'm going to go murder that damn Shitty Hair's ass for what he did to you. I fucking hate what he did to you but I don't hate him. I've never hated him..!"
"… Bakugou-kun, you… you just want to be able to help Kirishima-kun more, don't you?" Ochaco enquired. He didn't know how, but Ochaco was pretty amazing at understanding others. It was a skill he honestly wished he had. Then he could do exactly what Ochaco was saying – help Eijirou more. She squeezed his hand gently. "I know you didn't want him to be in the position he is now. You wished it was the other way around…"
They locked eyes with one another. Ochaco's expression was gentle and reassuring and he didn't feel worthy of it. Katsuki didn't say a word as he carefully retied her bandages back into place, slipping his hand away from hers. It wasn't that she said anything wrong. In fact, he hated that she spoke nothing but the truth.
"I fucking hate that Elixir…" was all he could say at first, pushing himself back onto his feet. "Just… don't ever let yourself be fake demon chow again, got it? If Kirishima or any other fucker in his division is out for blood, they sure as hell won't be getting it from you or anyone in our division. No exceptions."
...
May 11, 1864.
It was just after midday when Deku found himself summoned to Shouto's office. Tsuyu had accompanied him there. All he knew in advance was that the interrogations had taken place already, and that all the highest ranking members of the Yoikusa had a very intense meeting. Deku wasn't given the details yet, but he supposed that he was about to receive them now.
Shouto's office had a very quaint atmosphere. It was well kept, organised and had a flowery fragrance from the sticks of incense burning in a crane ornamental holder. There were ornamental katanas and decorative scroll paintings on the walls along with shelves of books – most appeared to be about military strategies, demon research and haiku poetry. Deku had been in here a few times now, but this was the first time going in for such a serious meeting.
The events of last night weighed heavily in their minds, but they couldn't not bring it up.
"Deku, Asui-san, please take a seat," Shouto told them, taking a seat at his desk. His desk was perhaps the only cluttered space in the office. It was obvious that he had been writing reports instead of resting, which worried Deku a lot. "Asui-san requested that we have this meeting and to be frank, I agree with her."
Tsuyu rested a finger against her bottom lip. "Todoroki-chan, you didn't want to have this meeting… but I am glad you see the logic in having it regardless."
He narrowed his eyes at her, but said nothing back to her. "Deku, I know you have heard about the Elixir. It's known also as the Ochimizu – Water of Life. Those who drink it are blessed with a mysterious power of some kind, along with regeneration powers just like a demon's. They become stronger, faster and have a higher immune system to most things. To an ordinary human, the concept is a very attractive one."
Deku's hands were resting on his lap as he sat on a cushion beside Tsuyu. His fingers clenched into the fabric of his clothing. "But it comes with terrible side effects, doesn't it..?"
Shouto nodded. "With the Ochimizu, the drinker becomes a fearsome warrior, but it also makes them lose all forms of reason. It can turn one insane and even worse, develop a bloodlust."
Such words gave Deku dark memories. Those warriors he met the night he arrived in Kyoto must have drank the Ochimizu. The ronin who attacked Fumikage must have consumed it as well. As for Eijirou… he didn't even want to think about it.
"Before the side effects became common knowledge to the Yoikusa, the Bakufu had commissioned us to produce Ochimizu and to test it on the lowest ranked members of our group," Shouto explained bitterly, hatred seeping into his tone and flooding him with a frustration that couldn't be ignored. "The Fifth Division was set up to carry out experiments and production of the Ochimizu, while the Sixth Division provided the test subjects to be used. Back then, the captains were not Tokoyami and Kirishima and well… those divisions were actually the First and Second Divisions. The Bakufu wanted a secret demon army that could back up the Shinsengumi, even if it meant providing fakes among the genuine demons."
He paused, allowing Deku to process his words. Of course, the Ochimizu sounded brilliant to use against enemies of the Shogunate when the side effects weren't a known issue. Deku always fought the Yoikusa was set up to combat everything the Ochimizu was about, to rid Japan of these fakes and stop the spread of demon knowledge across the nation. To think that the foundation began with the Yoikusa… it was horrifying to imagine.
"Todoroki-fukuchou, you were hesitant to explain all this to me sooner. Why was that?" The question had to be asked, but Deku was prepared for the answer to break his heart.
Shouto closed his eyes, his expression grave. "The Captain of the Sixth Division, the one who went out there and offered up people to test the Ochimizu on… his name is Enji Todoroki – my father. He convinced the Bakufu to fund the whole project." This response already sent Deku's mind reeling, but he knew that it wasn't all. But Shouto was left having to clean up a mess that his father helped to create, and that wasn't fair at all. "The Captain of the Fifth Division, the one who was in charge of creating the Ochimizu…" Shouto's eyes met Deku's. "…It was Hisashi Midoriya."
Deku froze up in horror.
Not even Tsuyu's gentle hand on his shoulder was a source of comfort, he almost didn't notice it. His mind was rejecting the concept, but there was no way that Shouto would ever lie about something like this.
Seeing that Deku was unable to speak, Shouto continued. "While Hisashi Midoriya was studying western medicine, he met my father over there. They hatched together the idea of the Ochimizu… They saw an opportunity where demons could surpass human society and become something far greater than our nation could ever hope to be. It was these ambitions that saw your father exiled from your home village of Aldera, and it led to the exile of the Todoroki family as well. Also…" he looked like he wanted to say something else, but he just couldn't. It wasn't something he wished to discuss. "That was the reason I was so cautious of you, Deku, on the night we met. I feared you were the same kind of man your father is."
"I didn't know anything about my father," Deku finally replied, using every inch of his willpower not to burst into sobs of anguish. "I never knew why he was exiled, I didn't know what he got up to when he was in the west or any of that. All I knew was that once I was exiled for having the Phoenix Heart, my father was the only remaining connection I had left. I had to find him."
Shouto nodded. "When I realised that you had no idea of what was going with your father, I was conflicted. My first thought was that ignorance was bliss. I truly didn't want you to know of this horrible Elixir that he invented…"
"But it wasn't right," Tsuyu spat out bitterly. "If it's about his own father, Deku-chan had every right to know. It's not my place to speak of your reasons, but you held back information that Deku-chan needed to hear and it was selfish."
Deku looked horrified as he saw her strike a nerve with the recently appointed vice-commander of the Yoikusa. But he realised that she was backing him up this entire time. She had his back and he was grateful. It was her that insisted this meeting be had. They both knew it would be hard for Shouto to open up about it, but there was no way to move forward without this information out in the open for Deku to come to terms with.
Even more shocking was Shouto bowing his head in shame. "Please forgive me, Deku. Asui-san is right. Yagi-kyokuchou wanted me to be the one to tell you, because both our fathers played a part in this… but a part of me didn't want you to hate your father the way I hate mine. You have every right to hate me for keeping all this from you."
After a few moments of silence, Deku exhaled. He would cry later. For now, he realised what it was that Shouto wanted from him. "I don't hate you. If anything, this information proves I should be here. I belong with the Yoikusa."
"Deku…" Shouto breathed out unsurely.
"It hurts, it really hurts. I'm disgusted," admitted Deku, his voice painful to hear. "I want to believe that my father is a good person… knowing all this makes it even more important that I find him. I want to hear his side. I'm not looking for excuses, I swear. I just want to know who my father really is – I need to know. Todoroki-fukuchou, our fathers created something that could change Japan forever. If it really is up to us to save Japan from the Ochimizu, then I accept it. So please, don't hide anything from me. I'm your subordinate, but I want us to be friends as well. You don't have to suffer the pain our fathers brought upon you on your own anymore."
Tsuyu smiled a little. She wondered what Deku would do once he knew the truth, whether he'd break down and fall into despair. Perhaps that might come later, she wasn't sure. But for now, she saw a resolve only strengthened and kindness that shone through above all.
Deku had no idea of the feelings he instilled in the two that sat with him as he gave his response. It was small, even fleeting perhaps, but true.
"…I understand, Deku," Shouto replied in a small voice, "but I haven't finished. If we're to move forward, you need to know this as well… Asui-san, can you leave us? Please."
"Certainly," she nodded, getting up and leaving the pair alone together.
There was another long silence between the young men as they waited for Tsuyu's footsteps to fade and the only sounds to be the chirping birds of the outdoors.
"What is it?" Deku asked, wondering if there was anything more that could shake him. He learned so much already in this meeting. Shouto was hesitant to answer. "You know… being told of the Ochimizu made me realise why something seemed off about Kirishima-san. I could sense who were demons and who weren't demons. Kirishima-san I always knew to be human but… he didn't feel entirely human anymore… but he didn't feel entirely like he was demonkind either. That's because of the Ochimizu, isn't it..?"
Shouto nodded. "That's right. Kirishima-kumichou volunteered to be a test subject and manage the other test subjects that we were left with. He only started that role back in March this year."
Deku frowned. "Kacchan really doesn't like it, does he?"
"He begged Yagi-kyokuchou not to let Bakugou take the Ochimizu, saying that Bakugou is the Sword of the Yoikusa."
"… He probably knew what may happen if Kacchan took it," Deku sighed. "If the Ochimizu causes insanity and bloodlust, I don't think Kacchan would be able to suppress it."
"That's true – for volunteer test subjects of the Ochimizu, we have a very strict process to decide who is capable of handling it… even then we can't be certain how well the subject will respond," explained Shouto. "Truthfully, Kirishima-kumichou isn't the only volunteer among the captains… The very first volunteer, and the most successful volunteer of all… it's Yagi-kyokuchou."
"What?"
"And Deku," Shouto interrupted, before the other could question it any further. "There's one more thing. You can't tell anyone else."
Deku bit his lip. He was already taking in so much, but he saw the desperation in Shouto's eyes. Like his entire being was weighed down with something beyond all the chaos and tragedy he'd already stumbled into. No, there was a reason Shouto was obligated to undo all the damage that had been done. A reason greater than the simple fact that he was the son of Enji Todoroki.
"I swear I won't tell anyone," Deku promised. "What is said here stays here. I won't bring it up with anyone else."
Shouto inhaled a breath before confessing the closest secret to this heart. He knew that once it was out in the open, there would be no going back. But what their fathers have done already sealed the fates of their sons. They were pulled into this, whether they liked it or not.
For once in his life, Shouto had the opportunity to obtain what he'd been looking for all these years. A friend, someone who could understand his position better than anyone else. In Deku's dark emerald eyes, Shouto saw someone burdened with so much pain who strived to do his very best no matter the circumstance. He wanted to be that person.
Deku wasn't Hisashi Midoriya.
Shouto wasn't Enji Todoroki.
And out there somewhere, their fathers were expanding upon the experiments that had begun with the Yoikusa.
"Deku… The first volunteer subject wasn't the first test subject," Shouto told him, his chest tightening with his anxious heart. But then that restrained stress erupted and years of frustration spilled from his lips, unable to hold back anymore. His clenched fist hammered down on the wooden surface of his desk, and it made Deku jump in his seat. Small icicles crystalised around Shouto's hand but he didn't seem to notice nor care. "I was the first test subject. From the first batch of the Ochimizu ever created by Hisashi Midoriya, there were four test subjects offered up by my father. He offered up his own children, and I'm the only one still here. I'm half demon and half Ochimizu subject."
In that moment, Deku felt the world shatter upon Shouto's anguish.
next chapter: Katsuki revisits the events of March 1864, unable to forgive himself for what Eijirou is going through. Shouto visits his wife and receives news that may change everything. Others try to take matters into their own hands.