Days passed after the incident with the Akuma and the thunderstorm. After three days of trekking in non-stop rain and thunder, they had finally reached the Inca road that Darrin had told them led up the mountain. It was a stair step contraption that, no doubt, was better suited to llamas and alpacas than horses. After four days of climbing up this staircase of a road, the rain finally stopped and blue sky was seen for the first time in days. Needless to say, Esperanza was relieved, as she hadn't hardly slept in three days despite Lavi's help in comforting her during the rougher parts of the storms. Of course, this led to Esperanza being exceptionally cranky and to Darrin being exceptionally annoying in order to peeve her. Both Darrin and Esperanza had a strange, odd sort of way with each other in that Darrin loved to pick at her and Esperanza loved to shove him off his mule in retribution. It was a love-hate relationship.

This sort of relationship showed itself more often than not through banter, and that banter escalated the more peeved and annoyed Esperanza happened to be. Lavi absolutely loved to watch them square off, because it relieved the boredom of riding on a horse up a staircase. Today was an unusual day in that Esperanza and Darrin were, believe it or not, agreeing to stay silent for once. Lavi's source of entertainment had just been thrown out the window, and he didn't know why.

"You guys aren't fighting," Lavi noted incredulously. His voice sounded muffled by the vegetation around them, seeing as he'd been in open country only a few days before. They'd already hit the forest layer of the mountain. The flora was getting slowly taller and taller the farther up the mountain they went. It was an odd, strange sort of change. The horses were not too happy with it. Esperanza looked back with a look of surprise, and she said, "Perdon?" Darrin's answer was only slightly less eloquent. "Wut?"

"Usually you guys are on each other like a mongoose on a cobra. What gives? It's kinda creepy," Lavi admitted. He was used to bickering between teammates, though not of the serious kind. After all, Kanda and Allen had bickered constantly. Lavi felt a strange, hollow ping inside of himself as he thought of his two other best friends, somewhere in the world without him. Usually he didn't miss them quite so fervently, but lately...

"Today is a regional holiday. Dia de la Tequila," Esperanza said. "The tradition is that you are openly honest with those around you, and that you drink two bottles of tequila by midnight."

"It's m'favorite holiday outta the whole year," Darrin cackled. " 'Speranza 'n I decided we're gonna have a truce t'day. No arguin', no bickerin', no grabbin' and pinchin' and peepin'. Just bein' a plain ol' gentleman, and then havin' a good knockback o' tequila at the end of the day." Lavi stared in a bit of disbelief. It wasn't like they'd tried to off each other (their vehemence towards each other was nowhere near the levels exuded by either Kanda, Allen, or both), but their constant nagging had been a sort of white noise that had kept Lavi from slowly going insane in the loneliness of the wilderness.

Lavi was very much a people person. Even before his days as Lavi, he had always held a secret joy of being around people. To be alone was a strange, alien feeling. He'd always been around Bookman and people, in cities and warzones. Wars were fought by people, or people-shaped beings, and that meant Lavi had to be around them. He didn't know what he would've done if he'd gone up the mountain by himself. The silence probably would've driven him mad. He usually had Allen or... or Lenalee with him, or... even Kanda, being silent, had his own sort of presence that warded off that feeling of loneliness. Lavi wasn't sure what it was, but being alone had always almost seemed to frighten him, and he didn't know why.

"None at all?" he asked, almost pleadingly, and Esperanza lifted one scarred eyebrow.

"It is Dia de la Tequila. On that day, you have no enemies. All things are forgotten for one day of the year, and everyone actually gets some peace," Esperanza said serenely, and Lavi could feel the fear edging in. This was... this was a bit much for him to swallow. Humans just didn't... it wasn't like... they didn't just forget things. They dug them back up, aired them back out, and used them as handy little flags to wave them around to everyone who could hear about it, and then... well, wars have been started over smaller things than having a cow in the wrong pasture... Lavi sighed, and he said, "All right. I guess I'll go along with it."

For the next few hours, they continued on without a word, and Lavi could feel the panic begin creeping in. At the least, the beech trees swayed and the shrub rustled with the sounds of animals foraging, abating that feeling of loneliness, but there was just still that crawling feeling of unease that skittered across his skin like a scorpion he couldn't find itching across his entire length. He was relieved when they finally put down for the night in a small clearing off the Inca road.

"Hm, better be on the watch. Inca probably still around here. Some scars're on the ground 'round here." Darrin asked as Lavi helped him set up his tent in his usual spot, near the horses and llamas and, of course, his favored mule. Lavi looked up in surprise.

"They've survived up here?" Darrin looked astounded that Lavi didn't know about any of this. He laughed and slapped his thigh before saying, "I thought you was some sorta educated feller! 'Course they are! They done intergrated with th'Spaniards like a cuckoo with sparrows. You kiddin' me? They live up here, all right, and sometimes they get madder 'n hell if ya trespass on their land." He shook his head and grumbled. Lavi shrugged, and he asked, "Well, what do they do to people who trespass?"

"They make 'em do a whole crapload a' paperwork, 'at's what! 'N they know how to make ya do it, too. I tell ya, it's about five hours o' wrist-cramping, eye-crossin' hell!" Lavi laughed as he pounded a stake into the ground. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Esperanza already setting up their tent, half of it already up. She worked fast. If she kept at this pace, he bet they'd have time before cooking dinner to actually practice with her Innocence. She'd confessed earlier in the trip that she hadn't really practiced with it so much as used it in dire cases, but that wasn't good enough for Lavi. One day she was going to need it in a form she'd never tried before, and that day would test her like no other. Of course, that was not to say she was not a good fighter. All fighters, however, had areas of improvement.

As Lavi turned towards Esperanza, a strange bout of dejavu sliced straight through him, coloring this picturesque place a strange shade of nostalgia. For some reason... it was familiar, as if he'd done this before. He watched Esperanza as she stood staring off into the forest, her scars hidden by the turn of her face and suddenly looking so much more vulnerable, so much younger. And then, her face was painted with the color of bomb-lights, her hair blown by wind caused by an explosion, rubble in her face and dust against her skin -

Lavi shook his head, kneading his forehead. He didn't know where that had come from... and that scared him. Never had he had a memory he could not place, but this one... it was so offhanded and so strangely intimate, it was like a ghost of a memory, part of a half-forgotten dream. He wanted to dismiss it, but he was not just any ordinary man. His ability to recall and recite information flawlessly was his entire purpose, and the fact he could not place this single iota of a memory worried him about his abilities in functioning as a Bookman. He continued helping Darrin with his tent, but his mind was preoccupied as the man prattled about something or other concerning the Incas.

Throughout the day, he pondered this mystery. While practicing with Esperanza, he tried to recreate the same memory using his Fire Seal against her at one point to test a shield, but the effect was not the same. No bout of nostalgia overtook him. Still, her shield was at the least effective against his flames, and that was the point of what they were doing. Esperanza noticed his sudden strangeness, however, and she asked, "Amigo, are you all right? You seem... not here." She tapped the side of her head at the temple, and Lavi chuckled sheepishly.

"I've got a lot on my mind these days. Don't worry about it." Esperanza, nevertheless, looked skeptical. Darrin suddenly snickered, and Esperanza whipped her head around to glare at him.

"What?"

Darrin pointed to the back of her pants and finally let loose a guffaw. Esperanza turned to see her backside, and she realized that it was charred in several places for some reason, and that parts of her butt were visible. Huffing, she stomped towards her tent, and Lavi had to snicker behind his hand. He was wondering how long Darrin could keep up their truce, and it seemed like it wasn't for long. He shouted something concerning embarrassing tattoos, and Esperanza answered back in rapid, angry Spanish. This just made Lavi laugh even more. Things were returning to normal as usual.

Their day continued on normally until dusk as they were sitting around a small fire. They had to keep their impact as minimal as possible in order to keep their presence on the trail unknown. If Darrin was correct, others journeyed this same road up to Incan ruins near the mountain's summit, and they look for gold. They weren't afraid to shoot people they thought were stealing their gold, either, whether or not that was the person's purpose. As they sat there, Darrin whipped out a square, clear bottle of a clearish looking liquid, and Lavi raised an eyebrow at the both of them.

"You two will seriously do the whole 'drink two bottles of tequila before midnight' thing?" he asked, and Esperanza shrugged.

"Sometimes the rules change to one bottle of tequila. Of course, Darrin could drink one by himself if he wanted to. He drinks like a fish," Esperanza said sardonically, and Darrin pouted in offense.

"Hey! I know how ta drink m'liquor. 'Sides, I don't hardly drink no liquor until m'day's done and m'work's over with. I ain't one o' them fool men who go and drink their money like the world's gonna end," Darrin muttered vehemently. Esperanza and Lavi stared at the man. This... actually held water. They'd never seen him drink on the trip so far, except perhaps later in the night when all their work was finished and they were winding down. The only thing he drank out of was a hip-flask that wasn't much bigger than Esperanza's entire hand, and it must've held some strong liquor in it if he could keep that the entire estimated four weeks it'd take them up the mountain and down.

"Then what do you want two cases of whiskey for?" Lavi asked, and Darrin's look shifted over to the young redhead. Darrin coughed into his hand discreetly, and he said, "I got a couple a' fellers up north in the States that could do with a drink. Some of 'em are for them, some are for me, and some are for some o' those poor boys fightin' the War." Lavi and Esperanza's faces sobered as something began to click in their heads.

"Darrin, what are you doing down here in Argentina, anyways?" Lavi asked. Darrin stared into the fire, the light flickering like an imp over his features and making him look older than he was. His white stubble stood out against the darkness behind him, and his eyes suddenly looked jaded and cloudy. His long, patrician nose made him look almost regal, but his eyes appeared sunken, giving the appearance of weariness. He closed his eyes, rubbing his face as he did so, and he stated, "Ain't nothin' right 'bout havin' to fight yer own brother over some dumb black man. Just not right. Ain't worth it." Lavi's face fell as he realized what must've happened.

He didn't know what side of the States he was from, but they were having political issues that were reverberating across the world, especially on the issue of keeping slaves and how to operate a country that runs on slavery as its main work force. Had that war gone underground, Lavi might've actually ended up going to America instead to document it while Bookman stayed with the Order. There were very few times where Lavi ever ended up on any one side of a war, and this was one of them. The American Civil War, however... He would've had no choice but to stay neutral due to the fact that each side was basically the same save for the one issue of the black man and his rights as a human being.

"Why's that not worth it?" Lavi asked curiously. Darrin stared past Lavi to Esperanza and he said, "Because slavery'll just jump to another race. It'll be the same thing over again under a different name. Ain't that right, 'Speranza?" The young woman stared at Darrin with a harsh, blank look, and Lavi felt a pang. The two were opposite sides. A woman and a minority as well as considered a burden in her own country, and a white man running from a fight.

"He is correct," Esperanza said. Darrin passed the bottle to her, and she took a swig, wincing as the burning liquid passed down her throat. She handed the bottle to Lavi, and he looked at it pensively, reading the label. It was a cheap brand of tequila, but did that really matter? He took a swig himself, and he coughed some of it into the fire. It was stronger than he'd expected. Darrin chuckled as Esperanza clapped Lavi on the back, the fire jumping at the presence of flecks of alcohol.

"Got a bit of a sting, don't it?" Darrin said with a laugh, his face transformed by his smile. The haggardness went away and the seriousness dissipated. Lavi nodded, and he stared at Esperanza. "You people are masochists! How the hell do you swallow that stuff?" The most alcohol Lavi had consumed was a few glasses of champagne at a party with Allen and Kanda, and, go figure, the two of them were both unable to get drunk due to their high metabolisms, so Lavi ended up floored trying to beat them in a drinking contest. He'd learned his lesson when it came to drinking against men who normally ate enough for five people. Anyways, Bookman had forbidden Lavi alcohol after that. Lavi wasn't exactly sure why, considering he figured he'd done pretty well for a guy who'd been drunk (he hadn't danced on any tables or spilled drinks on ladies with expensive dresses).

"It is easy. You put it in your mouth. You swallow," Esperanza said, and Darrin guffawed. He slapped his knee, just about dying of laughter. Lavi tried again, this time with better results. As they passed around the bottle, they started talking about friends, family, anecdotes. Darrin had a brother in Tennessee who'd gotten out of being drafted by faking a busted knee. Lavi missed Allen and Lenalee so much that one night he'd almost cried. Esperanza's mother was actually Inca by birth, making Esperanza half Inca. They continued to reminisce up until the point that Darrin finally fell over backwards, and the bottle was nearing the bottom. Esperanza and Lavi took Darrin by each armpit and dragged him towards his own tent. After depositing the snoring man to his quarters, the two of them sat at the fire side, telling stories.

"I mean, mi Dio, of all places he could go to bathroom, the well is not one of them," Esperanza stated exasperatingly, her words mixing together as she fought with a now-cloudy mind in order to translate. Lavi laughed, shaking his head. His movements were a bit clumsy by now. The bottle was completely empty, and the darkness was fully complete. The fire was nothing but embers now, and Lavi suddenly felt something. As Esperanza sat quietly, he could sense it, this... this strange sense that was causing fear and panic. The loneliness... but Lavi wouldn't let it control him. He'd been alone plenty of times before, and he had survived. However, his cumbersome mind did not seem to be nimble enough to catch this newly found panic. Esperanza stared at him for a moment in scrutiny, but in her state she did not notice anything other than a rather contemplative stare.

"Bookman shaves his... his eyebrows," Lavi offered, and Esperanza sighed with a shadow of a smile at the edge of her lips, her version of a laugh. "It's gross. Leaves hair ev-everywhere, and I'm just like 'What the hell is this' 'n... ah, I love that old man, though." Esperanza looked at him, and she lifted both eyebrows in question.

"He raised me. Bookman. He's, uh... he's tough 'n... 'n I love him but... sometimes... I don't even know what I'm saying!" Lavi said, laughing. The dying embers of the fire popped, and his face fell. "Even... though even he, y'know, just... just with me all the time, I mean, all the time, I don't... I feel like... I don't..." He couldn't put it in words. He turned to Esperanza and asked, "You know what I mean?" Esperanza thought for a bit... and then shook her head.

Lavi sighed. "It's... it's like...like I'm in... It's like I'm in... in this room, and there are lots of people, lots and lots and lots of people but... even if I'm with them... I don't feel like I'm with them." He stared at the fire with a mournful expression. Esperanza reached for his shoulder, but even then that Hispanic reserve in her spoke out and she withdrew. Lavi wrung his hands. Why was this loneliness plaguing him now? Or had it before, and he'd never noticed? Or maybe it was this wild, open expanse that had triggered it - these trees did not help the feeling that he was alone, though Darrin and Esperanza did, with their bickering and pranks and story-topping-wars. He missed his friends, his first friends. He didn't know how close he was to Esperanza, but he knew that she was trustworthy at the least. It wasn't the same as with Allen or Kanda or Lenalee or Johnny or Komui. He didn't know enough about her. For some reason, that frightened him. He looked back at her, and the dying firelight in her face highlighted her scars in gruesome detail. Suddenly, he knew what those scars were because he'd seen them on countless other people

shrapnel scars that decorated the faces of veterans. Hot dirt, ash, and rubble flying past always made a mark, small etches and big etches. They marked the faces of those who worked with exploding things, dangerous things, men like these. And these men were all coming back from war, tired but victorious, and he could not join in their revelry. It was not his place. He recorded the events on the top of a hill, watching them dance by the fire and play instruments. He looked up at Bookman and asked, "Our work is done?" The old man, his stooped shoulders and question-mark ponytail in relief against the glow of another fire, shook his head, and he pointed a gnarled finger towards the edge of the forest. A contingency of men were approaching, but he made no remark or expression of face. Yet on the inside, he felt a stir of something, and he asked, "Should we tell them? That they are about to be ambushed?" He was given a glare that only a schoolteacher could master, and he shrank in his seat despite the fact his face gave away nothing.

"You know better."

"I know better," Lavi muttered under his breath. He remembered every iota of that day. Every Bookman had to remember days right down to the fine-point details, from what was eaten to the clothes the men wore to the weapons they had stolen. And yet... he couldn't help but feel somewhat ashamed now, thinking back, because he had let those men die. They had all died quietly and swiftly, the heroes of a war that were soon forgotten after a knife came from behind and spilled their blood. Suddenly, he was assailed by a feeling of grief, and he couldn't understand what it was. Was that him or Lavi that was feeling the grief? Was there a difference anymore?

"Que?" Esperanza asked, her voice sounding slightly weary. She stretched out, her back popping in several places as she got up.

"Ir a voy a acostarme," she said, not realizing she spoke Spanish. Lavi, unable to interpret that fast, or any at all given his brain's current capacity for language, only knew one thing - she was leaving. Suddenly, that fear overtook him again, and he realized he was panicking again. He quickly stood up and shouted, "WAIT! Wait wait wait!" He stumbled along behind her, and Esperanza suddenly stopped to stare at him in confusion. He tripped on the ground in the dark, and the fear of being alone hit him like a freight train. He couldn't control it. The fear had been building, and he'd never had it this bad before, but the combination of alcohol, recent events, and heightened feeling of vulnerability had brought it to a fever pitch.

Finally getting up, he groped in the dark towards Esperanza, grabbing her wrists. She stiffened as he pulled her towards him, but as he began to speak, her body began to relax. He was... pleading. Their heads were fuzzy, and the words didn't make much sense, but the general feeling of fright and need was conveyed between the two, and a maternal sort of instinct sort of took Esperanza over. In a sort of stumbling/walking lope, they headed back towards the fire. They both sat down in silence as Lavi seemed to gain hold of himself again.

"Sorry," he apologized.

"Es bien," she stated.

They watched the remains of the fire crackle and pop for a few more moments, the embers the color of gray-coated dull orange. Lavi finally stated, "I... I don't... I'm scared of being alone. I'm really... really, really not... not good with... I don't..." He looked over at Esperanza, and suddenly he came to a sort of epiphany. He'd never really known what another human's love was like. Bookman had shown him the minimum amount of affection required of a teacher and a caretaker, Allen and Kanda weren't that huggy, and Lenalee was the closest thing he had to a sister and someone who'd given him affection before, but... There was something missing. Something he hadn't noticed, or, rather, had noticed but put to the back of his mind because it hadn't been a priority. He'd shoved it to the back of his mind many times during situations when it was not necessary or comedic to play up on it, or whenever he was busy documenting.

Yet now, he was not inhibited to the fine tuned training that Bookman had instilled in him. Instead, those inhibitors were now broken, and had Lavi been able to watch himself, he would understand why Bookman had actually banned alcohol from him. It destroyed the barriers that were not yet solid in his mind, the barriers which had not yet crystallized completely into the iron bands of will that would confine and compartmentalize his mind. Temporarily, under this influence, his brain would be completely freed of whatever restraints it had once held. One part of him he'd never allowed to flourish was suddenly coming to light, the part that wanted human affection and intimacy, the part that was the most dangerous to a man such as himself. It was unleashed, and Lavi wasn't sure how to handle it in his state, confused, scared, and so lonely and starving for human contact. He wanted to know so much that he was human and had human feelings and deserved the same rights. He hardly even considered himself the same species, and at one time he'd loathed it, but now he wanted to know what it was like to be human.

And to make human mistakes. To be able to stumble and trip and fall.

He reached towards Esperanza's face, framed by wavy black hair and scored with the scars. He touched skin, and he could feel her confusion through his finger tips. His fingers found their way to the back of her neck, tracing scars crisscrossing the nape, and things seemed to be moving fast and slow at the same time. He tentatively drew her towards him, and she resisted initially. In the dark, he could sense her apprehension, but he didn't care anymore. Just for once, he wanted something for himself. Solely for himself. No one else. The dying light glinted off her eyes, and for a moment he saw recognition before he clumsily felt his lips land on the corner of her mouth. Her resistance faded as she corrected him. He could feel her pull him closer, and he felt a strange sort of euphoria that he'd never encountered in his life. It was almost addictive. It was addictive, but that thought was buried under the presence of this newfound want. It was greedy, consuming as it burned as if it couldn't have enough. If sunlight had a taste, that was exactly how she tasted. Her smell was in his nose, and his mind was completely and utterly preoccupied with a thousand different feelings and thoughts, all of them muddled by alcohol and helter-skelter confusion and chemicals.

Before he knew it, one button of her shirt was undone, and her arms were around his neck. He'd never thought she could be passionate, as calm and reserved as she was, but he guessed he was wrong, though all his thoughts drifted as if in a fog. As the shirt began to slip off his shoulder, he caught sight of something out of the corner of his eye, and he froze, stiffening. His breath caught in his throat as he stared at the image on her shoulder, her mouth moving against his, but his own completely slack as pieces began falling into place.

Shrapnel scars...

Dejavu...

A young woman's face wreathed by the light of a bomb-fire...

Screams in the night, running, hiding, scary sounds and lights that flashed death, dead bodies...

Suddenly, Lavi shoved her away, sending her sprawling backwards as he stood up. Hastily, he tried to edge backwards, but his feet tangled around themselves, and he fell down. He crabwalked backwards, his breathing ragged as he stared at the dark inside the darkness, the woman who was now a devil instead of a saving angel. If anyone was guilty of bloodshed, it was the both of them, one by omission and one by affiliation. Esperanza stood up, her dark stare a question that Lavi wasn't sure he wanted to answer. She blinked before unconsciously stroking the scars on her face, and Esperanza buttoned her shirt with clipped motions, or at least as clipped as a drunk woman could make them. Before she could button it all the way, Lavi caught the glimpse of the leonine lines of a jaguar jumping across the skin of her shoulder, and he felt a shiver pass down his back.

His brain was too muddled for him to really know what the jaguar meant or why he had suddenly felt so repulsed by Esperanza. Lavi drew his knees to his chest as he heard her footfalls fade in the direction of their tent, and he knew that he was now well and truly alone, pushing away the only other company he had out here in this wilderness. His mouth suddenly set into a hard line, and he stood up, stumbling back to their tent. It would be an awkward night, but even he knew he'd need to sleep at some point. As he crawled into the tent, he could hear the gentle breathing of Esperanza, still awake and trying to appear asleep. The sudden urge to reconcile what he'd done crossed Lavi's mind, and he felt his heart crack as he thought of how she might feel about being pushed away as she had been. Remembering her touch the scars on her face led Lavi to conclude she must've thought...

The redhead parted the curtain between his side of the tent and hers. In spite of his 18th century upbringing, alcohol seemed to be wanting to rewrite what was acceptable and what was not. Lavi scooted like a small child towards Esperanza, sitting as close to her as possible without touching her. He shook her shoulder and said, "Esperanza... Esperanza... Esperanza..." She finally turned to face him.

"What, senor?" In the back of his mind, Lavi realized she was pissed. She only ever called him senor when she was pissed. Lavi scrambled around this revelation and tried to find eloquent words to tell her, to make up for what he did because he didn't know why he did it. All he could find to do was hug her as best he could (which wasn't very well - as stated many times before, he was drunk), and Esperanza's body was as stiff as a board. It would be a long time before she would treat him as a friend again, especially seeing as they'd crossed that line, the one that stated 'you are friend and no more'. Still, he held her, unable to think of what else to do, and Esperanza's hand found his own, gripping it awkwardly, but not forcing him to let go of her.

"You know I not forgive you so easily? We... we should not do that anymore. Ever. It... it was not good," Esperanza said wearily, her words blurring into each other. Lavi nodded, and he answered, "Yeah... sure." The puzzle of the leaping jaguar occupied his mind as he buried his nose in her hair, feeling oddly safe despite the awkward situation. The next day, Darrin would find them huddled together, one with his arms around the other's waist, and the other curled to the shape of his form. He would snicker, attempting to draw the two in his sketchbook (of which there would be a good likeness of them both), and he would wonder why the two would not speak to each other the whole day. But before all that, there was just a strange safety in being near a human being and the feeling that maybe one is not alone.

A/N: I know, I know, this is a filler/padding chapter, but I wanted to get something in there that attributed something in the relationship between characters (and this was what popped out of my head :D).

I'd like to thank my new alerts for subscribing my story, Siry and Ella Unlimited. Also, my favorites people are awesome, too, newcomers being Ella Unlimited, KHFFROKSMISOKS XD, and thexlastxfantasy. Also, last, but most definitely not least, my reviewer, Ella Unlimited. I had said I wanted a well-rounded review, and boy did I get one. Look to reviews for chapter 7 for a good example of what a well-rounded review looks like, because she hit the nail on the head. It was an excellent review, and it was exactly the sort of review I wanted. Thank you, thank you, thank you all of you for reading this little sidenote fic, and I hope you continue to enjoy it.

(I apologize in advance for any grammar mistakes that I didn't catch. Please bear with me. Again, I apologize to any Spanish speakers reading this. I know my Spanish is horrible.)