Part 7: Rudi Benkhart, District 4

Bisexual.

Daughter of a couple of potheads.

Smoker.

Idiot.

Drinker.

Flunkie.

Dropout.

Freak.

Desperate.

All words I've heard before. All words to describe me.

My name's Rudi Benkhart. When you're surrounded by all those bad influences, you get used to them.

But, even in the District of jackasses, there are still a couple of half-decent people.

I met him in pre-school.

That was before I was stupid.

He had his perfect little outfit that was brand new and matched, from his brown hair and sea-green eyes to his brand new tennis shoes.

I had the same old beanie that I wear now, with a tattered hand-me-down-from-the-dump outfit and old shoes that my toes stuck out of.

Even the kids back then were ruthless to me. Jeering constantly and making faces.

So there was this one really obnoxious kid named Jason Mallinksy. I hated his guts.

So I did what any badass five-year-old would do to someone they hated: I flung mashed potatoes at him with my spoon.

I had perfect aim, too. Until he ran right into my shot and took a full face of potatoes.

Ok, I wasn't sorry. I'm never sorry for stuff like that.

I just laughed.

I laughed so hard apple juice came out of my nose. I rolled around on the ground laughing.

"That was mean!" he said, pissed off.

I remember just standing up and saying, "You're my new best friend. What's your name?"

Sebastion Lewis Clarke.

He's been my best friend since, just like I said.

Because the mashed potatoes never lie. He's the only person that's stuck to my side through the teasing.

Well…

Finn came a little later.

Not much later, though.

The next year is when we met Finn. He was a year younger than Sebastion and I, so he went to the same Pre-School as us. Our second year, his first. He stuck out to us the very first day. He also got shoved down a flight of stairs.

By who, you ask?

A bitch named Sabrina Wilson. And she doesn't go away, either.

Anyways, Finn pushed down the stairs. He said he was fine, but later it was revealed that his leg was broken in three different places.

Ok, when I was five, I thought he was some kind of god of bad-assery because he had three fucking fractures in his leg and didn't even know.

So I kind of worshipped the kid.

He later told me that since he's paralyzed, he can't even feel his legs. So I could poke them all I wanted but he'd never be able to feel it.

I was close to Finn. Never as close as I was to Sebastion, but I was close to Finn.

I liked Finn. We went from best friends, to more, to worst enemies (which didn't last a very long time) to best friends again.

I've never dated Sebastion before… And I'm glad because 1) He's ugly as a doormat and 2) He's my best friend.

Ok, I say mean things about him, but I don't mean half of them. It's just so fun to piss him off.

Sebastion's not hideous, he's actually quite a looker with quite an impressive six-pack.

But I'll never say it out loud.

For the most part, Sebastion, Finn and I have been a dream team since we were young. A freakshow, if you will.

Well, Sebastion was never a freak. He was always popular.

All the girls wanted to fuck him.

And he let them, too.

He's a manwhore, but anyways, he always stuck to me and I stuck to him.

We hang out every day behind the dumpster.

I offer him a smoke, but he never takes one: at first I had this crazy obsession with Sebastion doing something bad for once: besides the normal sex hair and bags under his eyes. It escalated to just a joke after that: a dumb tradition that none of us would want to break.

I offered Finn a cigarette once.

Seeing Finn smoke is one of the hottest yet most hilarious sights I've ever seen.

One: you would totally not expect him to be a smoker. He's a real goody-goody, and in a wheelchair!

Two: He actually does have muscles. You can feel them or see them if he's wearing a muscle shirt, which he's only ever done once or twice, for gym.

Anyways, let's just say a muscle shirt is the only thing that can make Finn look manly as he's hunched over, vomiting.

Goody-goody.

So you could say I was happy by the 80th reaping. I had my buds, my cigarettes, and my sexuality intact.

"Hi Benkhart," Sebastion says, walking over and sitting across from me on his normal pile of trash.

"Sebster," I say with a slight hint at a smile, "Wanna a cigarette or not?"

"You know I don't smoke." We both laugh slightly.

"So, what's going through your head?" Sebastion asks.

"Right now?" I think. "Absolutely nothing. The cigarette is magic. You?"

He sighs, "Pre-reaping jitters," he confesses.

"Obviously. Try one. It'll take you away, I promise."

"Not happening."

"Whatever floats your boat."

"That's a terrible stereotype, Benkhart."

I can't help but laugh. "Don't worry, Clarke. If you're reaped, you'll die at the Cornucopia."

"You'll die before the Cornucopia," he says. It's nice to let off some of his steam.

I grin. It's so fun to play with Sebastion.

"Come on. Let's get to the reapings."

He stands up, holding out a hand to me.

"I don't need your help, Clarke." I stand up on my own, to make a point.

Then we walk to the square together.

The female tribute isn't me. Woo.

The male is chosen and everyone waits.

"Finn Fletcher!"

I miss Finn.

You know the worst part?

He died in second place.

To a District 2 girl.

By eating nightlock.

My heart exploded into a million pieces. I can't believe he lost. I can't believe he gave his life for her… She certainly didn't deserve it. Finn should be alive.

Sabrina had a field day.

I punched the girl in the nose.

I miss Finn with everything in me. When he died, he took a chunk of my heart with him.

The next year, I don't want to play by their rules.

When Sebastion heads off to the reapings, I don't go with him.

I'm sitting back in the dumpster when the men in white come and take me away.

The reapings are over. I'm put up on the stage and whipped 45 times.

I shout for help.

It's only after the reapings, and I discover that my worst fear has come true: Sebastion is reaped.

No… I don't have fears… I'm fearless.

What I'm really scared to watch is Sebastion eat nightlock. I think I would eat nightlock.

I need to have him with me. Finn is gone. My best friend is gone.

Sebastion is the only thing I have left. I can't lose him, too.

I will kill the Victor, whoever they are. Unless they are named Sebastion Clarke, of course.

Pit Kensy is the District 2 girl who killed Finn.

She didn't touch a hair on his body, but I pin her death absolutely 100% on her. No questions.

And if that gal pal of hers lays a finger on my best friend, she dies.

By me, of course.

If not by anyone else.

I sit in my room. The only place in my place that's safe.

If Sebastion asks, I'm not scared. I'm out at the dumpster, not giving a damn about it.

But I sit here, in my room, in the dark.

5…

4…

3…

2…

1.

The 81st Hunger Games has begun.

FATE:

Upon the rebellion's beginning, Rudi among others is saved by District 13 and sent to train. Their PT instructor, a tall guy with a strong frame, dark hair and brown eyes named Rizzo, connects with her instantly. They survive the rebellion together and eventually move in together at District 4.

TO LEARN MORE ABOUT SEBASTION, read 81: The Ultimate Show.

TO LEARN MORE ABOUT FINN AND PIT, read Memories: the 80th Hunger Games.