"Good morning you two!" Skuld cheerfully, way too utterly cheerfully they thought, remarked as she tooled away at something as the two men approached.
"Uhnng." Slurred the two, the shabby condition of their hair and night clothes showed it had been only moments since the two's start of consciousness. Dressed, not in her goddess uniform, but a man's shirt, Kentaro's Keiichi would later assume once he had woken up, and a tight fitting set of overalls, Skuld gave a cute, almost sexy working girl's look that had Naruto's eyes looking anywhere else lest he be called a pervert. It was then he noticed the mass of wires hanging out of the wall above a new doorway, along with the plethora of blinking lights.
"What's that, Skuld? It looks really complicated." Apparently happy he noticed her work Skuld's smile was only matched by the joy she held for creating such a device.
"I call it dimenshonal doorway Mar-ku Two! It will connect this door to one at the temple allowing virtually seamless and instant teleportation between our mutual dimensions! My most ambitious and creative idea to date! Ah with only a few more tweaks I'll have this up and running perfectly! Ah! I'm such a genius! Onee-sama will certainly praise me for this!"
She giggled before turning around to dig out a wrench from her toolbox. Despite having grown up with her and thinking her a sister, Skuld's shapely rear wiggling before Keiichi was very distracting and finally brought both men's focus on the door before them to keep their minds from… wandering.
"Really? So we can connect to the Temple?" Keiichi asked interestedly. Not hearing an answer Naruto and Keiichi looked at one another, shrugged, and reached for the door. Leaning up from her toolbox, Skuld's happy look was lost in panic.
"WAIT DON'T!" But the warning came too late. The door slid apart to show a myriad of colors, mostly shades of purple with a vague magenta mostly swirling about randomly. That and the hundred foot tall writhing mass of tentacles. A large yellow eye turned to them.
"Ooboshu! Hrii! Sll'ha" The squid-like beast cried and promptly wrapped up the mortals in it's many tentacles.
"…I hadn't had a chance to set the receiver side of the wormhole yet." Skuld finished, her skin growing ashen as the scope of what just happened occurred. "It will randomly pick any dimension… Like his." Urd and Belldandy raced in after hearing the voice of their new guest.
"Ahhhhhhh~!" The two men's yells were drowned out by the demonic chuckling of the tentacle nightmare as it pulled them into it's realm. The sister's following their respective man in.
"KEIICHI-SAN!"
"NARUTO!"
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A Jinchuriki's Goddess
Chapter Seven: Ah! Devilish D ranks!
By
Hibiki
Ah Megami-sama and Naruto are not my creations. Characters and Places used here are not my own. All rights to their owners Fujishima Kosuke and Kishimoto Masashi.
"Speaking"
'Thinking'
Flashback
"KYUUBI or DEMONIC VOICE"
"Aria / Spellcasting / Jutsu"
"English or English based words (I.E. Holy Bell, Noble Scarlet, World Of Elegance, Switchu On! Enginru STARTO!)" (Mostly the Keiichi bunch, or gods and demons will use these.)
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Shaking and Shivering, the two mortals sitting at the table, sat mumbling under their breath as they clutched desperately at their towels like a child would with his favorite blankie during a thunderstorm.
"I'm sorry he scared you both, Th'lu-san was merely saying hello and asking if you would like any tea?" Belldandy finally explained after trying to console Keiichi and Naruto.
"THAT WAS A GREETING?" A stunned Naruto finally snapped out, pointing wildly to the door Skuld was now not as energetically working on. Dropping her apron from her nervous wringing fingers Belldandy merely replied with a simple yes and smile as if that answered all of those hundreds of questions running through Naruto's horrified mind.
"I know you have more questions, but given how late it had become you both need to be going." The two genin jerked seeing the time. "I will remain and repair the rest of the house for you until you get back, but the others should return home tonight before Keiichi misses too much work. Not to mention…"
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A whisper of darkness against the white sheets still hung up to dry was the only sign of something amiss at the Morisato residence. The figure dashed back and forth revealing only blonde hair, black leather and a cheeky smirk. Mara, Demoness first class, limited had arrived. In her hand, looking more like a really bad children's knock off of some pokemon, was a ceramic incense burner with a set of dull spikes coming out of it's back and a look Domo-kun would be proud of. Slamming open the Shoji leading to the dining area, the demonic entity proudly held out the demise of her friends… uh Enemies.
"I NOW HAVE THE POWER TO REMOVE YOU GODDESSES FROM THIS PLANE ONCE AND FOR ALL! BOW BEFORE ME, MARA THE ALL POWERFUL! MUWAHAHAHAH-!…. Huh?" It was then she noticed there was no one there. "HUH?" She began shaking the device. "Don't tell me this thing already worked!"
[VREEEEEP!] Mara's head snapped up as the hairs along her arm stood on end. Before her was the most evil thing ever produced by a goddess. His glinting and imposing black helmet, those beedy little eyes that gleamed maliciousness and pain.
"Y-you." Banpei's hand rose to lift that helmet to reveal those tubes of dementia inducing horror. Only to find a small projector. It at once came to life. Upon the dining room table a one foot tall bluish hologram of Belldandy appeared.
"Hello Mara, I must apologize for not being there to greet you for our usual meeting but something has come up. I do hope we could reschedule, perhaps have dinner? Keiichi, Skuld and I should be back before the end of the week. Until then please take care of yourself." The little hologram bowed to her then faded away.
"They're not here?" She murmured to herself before tensing again when the projector slid back into machine's head and was replaced with the standard armament. "Aw, come on."
[VrEE-brrrrrrt*] And the machine suddenly shut down when a childish figure landed upon it's back and pulled the large lever found there and powering the mecha down.
"Hild-sama!" The pigtailed youth smirked as she fiddled with the power switch on the mecha a few moments making it jerk about like a stop motion puppet before she slid off the robot and stood next to it.
"You'd think she would install a better power button after all these years… So. My daughter and her sister's aren't here? Hmmm a pity. And if I heard correctly it didn't sound like my Urd-chan was coming back with them." The Daimakaicho tapped her cheek absently. "Curious. Very curious. I don't sense anyone from this residence on this planet. They couldn't have gone to heaven with Keiichi, I'd know if they were in hell, so it stands to reason they're probably on another plane." Grinning like a hyena the leader of hell conjured a hundred small mirrors around her and a seal array below her feet in just seconds, causing her subordinate to begin shaking in fear. "You know what this means Mara?" It was hard to tell the shake of her head against her shivering.
"No… Hild-sama!" The shivering gave way to a face fault as a pair of sunglasses appeared as Hild admired herself in the mirrors.
"ROAD TRIP!"
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Apparently all the princesses, daimyos and evil ninjas had taken the day off as Naruto, Urd, Sasuke, his new imaginary friend Nikibi, and Sakura found out the true meaning of Pe-Er, I mean pain. D-ranked Missions. In fact the only highlight of the day was when Sasuke chewed out his imaginary friend for missing the chance of ending their Tora hunt a whole two hours early because he tripped on a tree branch. The one on… whatever argument was so hilarious that when Sasuke threatened to pop him if he didn't get his 'acne' together, the remaining Genin of Team Seven couldn't resist laughing their asses off… and in such a distracted state, released Tora once again. It ended up being the worst capture of Tora on record at eight hours and nineteen minutes.
Kakashi announced that the mission had gone so poorly that the next day would be nothing but teamwork exercises. It didn't help that Madame Shijimi been given a ribbon eared porcupine instead of a cat, but Urd assured her the cat would be it's normal self in a week or so time. No one believed them at first until Urd turned the Chunin on hand into a porcupine as well.
So now they were locked up in the ANBU detention cell.
[Rat-t-t-t-tle…. Rat-t-t-t-tle….] Naruto strummed his coffee cup against the bars, bored out of his mind. Sasuke was playing Go with his invisible friend… and was loosing? Kakashi managed to smuggle in his porn, so it was rather obvious what he was doing.
"No body knows, the trouble I've seen…. Nobody knows my sorrow…" Urd was singing something rather mournful in a language he had never heard before… And Sakura… Oh no.
He was almost seven feet, and two of that was pure tattooed muscle. He looked like a lifer, someone who got benefits for letting ANBU trainees learn the interrogation techniques on a live subject, but had done things so horrible they would never breathe free air again. And he had just latched onto Sakura, running his face against the agitated Genin's cheek.
"You smell real purty, pinkie boy. I can't wait to taste you." His tongue only reached her skin for a moment before an iron clamp that was her hand latched onto it and pulled. "Uoounhhgggg!" Jade eyes flashed as they turned back towards the would-be molester. The rest of Team Seven slid to the other side of the large detention cell.
"…. BOY? SHANNARO!" [WHACK! FWACK! CRUNCH!]
"HALPH!"
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Excuse me, but I am looking for the room to request a mission?" As soon as the poor Chunin's eye's rose above her neckline she received a stuttering garble of words and a shaky point towards the Mission room.
Iruka sighed as he stamped another completed D rank scroll and reached for the next one. It was bad enough he was forced to do this because one of Naruto's teammates had done some sort of medicinal version of a henge on Touji and forced him, since he was there and had no students, to take over. Cursing his luck as the last scroll began rolling away from him for the edge of the table, he missed a easy catch, only quickening the scrolls rolling speed. Knowing it would be more annoying if it rolled into the floor he lunged for the scroll.
"Ooo… Excuse me, cutie." And ended up head first into a rather stacked chest. Eyes wide as tan skin enveloped his vision Iruka did the only thing he could think of.
[HONK!] Grabbing said pair of girls, he ripped his head away to look at the pinkish eyes of the silver haired sex pistol who had walked up to him…. Whose wobblies were still in his hands.
"Like them?" She asked with a smirk that brought both a tightness in his pants and a cold fear through his heart. His hands slammed onto the table before him hard and stinging, if only to try and remove the feeling of her… ahem.
"Urm… How… Uh May I help you?" Iruka asked, sounding more like a voice warbling teen than a calm composed Chunin of the leaf. She giggled.
"Well, I am looking for a special team to help me, but for anything else, I might have found myself someone right here." Decidedly out of his water, and knowing every eye was on him and this goddess (If he only knew) he forced himself into mission mode.
"What team would that be and for what mission?" Pouting at the lost teasing she quickly moved into his comfort zone and held up a picture.
"I want HER team and It's a class D… If I remember that's what you ninjas would classify it."
"We're having some issues with her team, however if you'd like once they are available I can send them to you." The voluptuous woman's frown made Iruka's blood run cold, as if the very Shikigami was glaring into his soul. The urge to flee was only released when a bruised cheek Ninja burst into the room.
"FIGHT IN THE DETENTION AREA!" Iruka sighed. He had no doubt Team Seven was involved.
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Sarutobi looked at the Jounin and four genin before pinching the bridge of his nose to relieve the stress building up there.
"Does someone want to explain just why prisoner 421 has to have his groin surgically removed from his nose and reattached?" The three men shivered slightly and looked to the calm almost serene expression on the Pink haired girl's face.
"He annoyed me." She replied and then smiled. Her male teammate's hands went to their privates instinctively. Urd blushed and put her head in her hand from remembering the scene.
"Prisoner 421 made a pass at Genin Haruno, Hokage-sama, she was well in her rights to defend herself." Kakashi finally replied.
"Defend herself yes. Mutilate a prisoner no. This team is looking almost too unstable to continue working together." He ignored Kakashi's slightly hopeful look and continued. "So it troubles me to say that I must…" He trailed off as ominous thunder echoed over the village. He and Kakashi looked out of window at the clear blue sky as a flash of lightning appeared out of nowhere. "Must…" The lightning struck closer to the tower, stronger now. The two men sweat dropped before looking at one another. "Continue to strive on your teamwork." The rumble of thunder faded away. The men sighed in relief, though Kakashi's was much less enthused. "To that end you MUST complete your next D-ranked mission, otherwise…" he gained a gleam in his eye. "Kakashi will be forced to disband your team." The Cycloptic Jounin's whole body tensed as a new peal of thunder broke over the city. "You all have this one chance to redeem yourselves. Thankfully an incredibly easy D-ranked mission tailored specifically for your team has appeared. There should be no reason for failure. One of you merely has to…"
"Call me mom." A voice brought Urd's tension back to full. Turning around the members of team seven came across a overly voluptuous form that easily was recognized as…
"Urd's..." Sakura started as Hild's smile grew wider seeing Urd, and before anyone knew it had enveloped her once again young daughter in a massive hug.
"OH URD! My baby look at you! It's was so cruel of your sister's not to inform me of what happened that I had to call THAT man just to find out!" Enveloped in her mother's bounties and thusly being smothered by them Urd's panic waving arms were the only sign of her continued existence. "My goodness how cute you look! Oh my baby I missed you so much!" Urd's look of annoyance only grew until she freed her face and looked towards the Hokage.
"I refuse."
Kakashi whimpered. [Ka-rack-boom!]
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Hild sat sipping the tea provided by Belldandy as they waited Urd to come to terms with what was being asked of her. The rest of Team Seven had been sent home, with knowledge that the only one who could keep their ninja career alive was the only holdout of their newest and most bizarre mission. Having returned to the Uzumaki residence, they found Skuld and Keiichi had headed home leaving just Belldandy to greet them, but having seen her sister's face, Naruto's concerned looked to his contractor, and Hild's slightly hesitant face, little was said other than a greeting, highly unusual of the sociable Goddess of the Present. Belldandy's eyes drifted down for a moment, before she gathered her courage and turned to her sister's mother, tired of the silence filling the home.
"It is nice to see you again Hild, but do you think asking so much of Nee-san even after everything we've gone through, especially at such a dire moment, is acceptable? Do you really long to hear her say those words so much that you risk not only Yggdrasil, but also Nidhogg's integrity for it?"
"I don't have any idea what you mean, Bell-chan. I'm merely an ostracized Mother looking to help her daughter's new job by giving her a simple task.
"I'm sorry for the wait, I hope it didn't inconvenience you… Mom." Hild and Belldandy's eyes widened as she turned around to find Urd looking at her with a resigned look on her face. Bell's mind reaching back to a few years ago.
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"Hild loves you..."
"I know that."
"If that's the case…"
"No." Urd put her foot down, shocking her littler sisters. "That's also the reason why I can't love my mother."
"Urd…" Skuld hesitantly questioned.
"If I love her, my soul will be charmed by the demons." Urd remarked, showing her sadness to her younger sister. "That's why it concerns my pride as a Goddess, I definitely won't say it."
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"My how wonderful it is to finally hear that in my daughter's voice. However…" It was then her eyes lit up with an unholy light. "However… Tell me why I should not kill you where you stand… BOY?" Urd's figure trembled a moment, then in a poof of smoke Naruto stood looking at the vision of Hell's Daimakaicho in all her fury. "How DARE you take the shape of my daughter and speak those words at me." Unlike all other mortals, except one, who had seen that glare, Naruto only grew more bold. Urd walked from her hiding place watching worriedly.
"No, how dare YOU for asking Urd to sacrifice herself, her goddess self, for you." Hild's glare intensified, the vase beside Naruto shattered, but the Jinchuriki held his ground. "You should know Urd loves you, despite everything she wishes to say otherwise! Don't you realize your hurting her more by making her choose?" Naruto finally yelled. Hild's hands cracked the plaster beside his head as she slammed her hands beside his head. Yet ever still Naruto glared right back. "I won't let you hurt her, even if I die."
"Hmph. Fine I see." Hild's glare dimmed then finally faded away as a small sad smile appeared. "Looks like you have more fire in you than just that silly little fox of mine. Consider your mission a success." She leaned in, and without warning, kissed him. Naruto's eyes went wide for a moment. Her lips left his and traveled to his ear in a whisper, ignoring Urd's angered look. "Perhaps, if you keep that up I might just accept you calling me Mother one day." Rising back up, her normal smirk upon her face, Hild turned to the others. "I'm heading back. Belldandy? I'll see you again soon, send Skuld and Keiichi my love. Urd, Naruto, I'll be stopping in from time to time. But do come visit me as well, your mother will be praying to Kami-sama until you do." Urd's forehead sprouted a vein as she growled from her spot.
"Stop saying such things we all know is untrue!"
The Daimakaicho's laughter lasted long after she was gone.
"Hild…" Belldandy turned from Hild's departure to her sister's confused countenance. "Urd…" Her sister turned from both of them.
"I'm going to bed. Goodnight."
Naruto remained quiet, still leaning against the wall, head bowed.
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Adventures of Naruto!
By Hibiki
Episode One: NINJA SHOWDOWN!
"Nozomi! HAYAKU! The show is about to start!" Hikari remarked as she and Kodama sat before the massive screen (to them) as the credits for the last show rolled upwards. The tomboyish ninja landed beside her 'sisters' and passed them a plate of small snacks made by Belldandy for them.
"Has it started yet?" The two rat turned Ninja shook their heads. She sighed, hand upon her small bosom. "Yokatta!" Just as the screen turned black a noise echoed through the house.
[VWOOOOOOOOOMSH! …. VWOOOOOOOOOMSH!]
"SUGOI SUGOI~! I FINALLY get to see Kamuri the Ninja in COLOR! Dattebayo!" Turning the three little ninja found themselves looking at a blonde shinobi. "OI! What's with the little kunoichi dolls? They're blocking the TV!" Naruto's inquisitive nature won out and he reached out to poke Kodama… and promptly got bitten. "OW! NANI? They're alive!"
"Of course we're alive, Genin! Know your place! It's insulting to poke at your superiors!" Hikari announced, her helmet shimmering from the lightning that lit up Kamuri's sword in the opening credits.
"Superiors?" Naruto blinked, looking at the small Kunoichi before him. "No way. Besides it doesn't matter I'm off duty! I just want to see Kamuri the Ninja in color! You're blocking the TV, MOVE!"
"Temple rules! The most votes wins! ALL in favor of the Shinkansen Shinobi sitting before the Konoha Genin raise your hands!" With a blur of color nearly a hundred little ninja filled the room. Their smug look on their face soon was replaced by worry as Naruto chuckled evilly, his hands drifting up to a all too familiar cross handsign.
"You tried to beat me at my own game! TAJU KAGE BUSHIN NO-!"
Tarikihongan Temple bulged for a moment.. The all was silent as wood creaked.
Then… In a shower of splintered wood, electronics, blondes, mini ninjas, an irate cat, a singed Keiichi, and one lone Bampei-kun, the temple exploded with impressive results. Standing in their usual places, Belldandy, Skuld and Urd looked about wondering why their home had been leveled to it's foundation. Only to find Naruto cheering on Kamuri on the lone item still standing.
Behind him, three little ninja's lay with their eyes twirling.
"W-what Chakra…." Kodama remarked woozily.
"U-un." The other two replied, just as stunned.
AoN Episode one: END.
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I'm back~! Yay~! Well I am as back as I can be during my busy season, Slow to no updates until august. Yeah I know, sucks. But I am trying. This is what struck me first, but I am thinking (yeah I know only thinking?) about my other stories as well. NNP bit the dust, not enough interest (Me not you all) to keep writing it and has been added to my Dead Naruto Plot-lines. Enough of that, so… Hild arrives, causes a bit of Chaos, some Urd/Hild tension moments, and a new type of Omake has arrived: Adventures of Naruto: Short stories about Naruto in our world (Or AMG's world anyway.) Hope you enjoy it, because it will be a regular thing… I think. Oh and Porcupine Tora was one of my reader's suggestion (In a way. You know who you are)
Anyway long story short: Read, review, and tell me what you think, your reviews keep me going!
Next Chapter: Ah! The C-ranked Mission!
Till next time: Ja ne~!