PART 8: TARRICK TAILOR, DISTRICT 10
"TAILOR!"
"TAILOR!"
"TAILOR!"
My eyes open lazily.
"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?"
"I...I…"
My step-sister Jane stares at me, "You're a fucking idiot."
"Huh?" I sit up and rub my eyes.
"Why?"
"Why what?"
"Why did you say something? I told you to keep your fucking mouth SHUT!"
"It's my life. Not yours."
"You idiot."
"Why? What happened?" I ask, voice deep from sleep.
"Everyone knows! You fucking-"
"Yeah, yeah, I get it. I'm a fucking idiot. Get on with it."
"They're all up in arms! You're the biggest loser-face in the WHOLE SCHOOL!"
"But… I only told one person…And…"
She slaps me upside the head. "LISTEN UP! I TOLD YOU TO KEEP YOUR PLACE AND NEVER SAY A WORD TO ANYONE! I KNEW I HATED YOU AS SOON AS MY FATHER MARRIED YOUR FUCKING MOTHER!"
"Jane…. "
"I'M THE FAGGOT SISTER! ALL BECAUSE YOU CAN'T LISTEN TO A DUMB COMMAND FROM YOUR STEP-SISTER!"
I roll my eyes and clear my throat. "So I'm gay. What's even the big deal, anyways?"
It's then that I see murderous eyes looking at me from the doorway.
I recognize the death-glare of my mom.
"Out."
"Huh?"
"Out."
"Out?"
"OUT!"
I rub my eyes and slowly stand up, "I'm still-"
"Honey," my step-dad whispers.
My Mom's face is red with rage. "GET OUT OF MY HOUSE! NOW!"
Jane looks thrilled at seeing me get yelled at, which I'm used to. She's the cruel little sister, even though she's only a year younger than I am.
"What's going on?" my little step-brother Grayson stumbles into the room and looks around.
"You're too young to get it, buddy," I whisper.
"Am not-"
"Tarrick was just leaving," Jane croons, "For good!"
His eyes are confused.
"It might be a while before we can talk again, buddy," I whisper to him.
Suddenly my strong mother grasps the back of my shirt and practically chokes me.
"I SAID TO GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!" my Mom screams, dragging me by now.
"TARRICK!" Grayson shouts, "WHERE ARE YOU GOING!?"
I hear the footsteps of him following me and a slight choking noise coming from him.
"He's not a good guy, Gray. You've been tricked," Jane whispers.
I was 12 then.
Is 12 a little young to make a decision like that? Well, it's too late now.
Jane was 11 then, about to turn 12 soon. And Grayson was young, only 6.
To think that my own birthmother would send me out on the street at 12 years old… It really makes me lose faith in humanity. Which, trust me, a lot of things do.
My name is Tarrick Tailor. Back when my Mom loved me she would always nag me to change my last name to Bates, my step-dad's name, but I never wanted to. I realized quickly that I love the man, and had intended to officially go by Bates on my 13th birthday.
When I did turn thirteen (somewhere in the long days and nights I spent on the corner) I just couldn't. I don't want to humiliate the man any more than he already is.
I'm 16 now. I sit on the corner and wait for change.
There were better times. Happier times….
When I was a kid there was no such thing as a good hair day. I have dark red hair that comes from my Mom and it always always ALWAYS stood out in every direction. I have this white… Oh, what's it called… Stetson, I think… Anyways, it usually covers up my awful hair, so that's good.
I'm a major clutz. I'm always tripping on my own feet, stumbling on a loose twig, anything that could possibly be tripped on: I trip on. Possibly even more.
I have green eyes that don't show a lot of emotion. They're…Um… Just calm, I guess. Dull. Boring.
I have a husky voice, that's laced with the ever-so-slightest Capitol accent: my Mom has never said a thing about my birthfather but it leads me to assume that he was a Peacekeeper or something of the sort.
That accent is only obvious on certain words: my vowel sounds are sometimes strange, my s sounds sometimes come out more like sh.
It was just another thing that my Mom hated about me from the beginning.
I hate the woman as much as she hates me: which is a lot.
I met Astro when I was 13 or 14. He was a freak, just like me.
A strong Australian shepherd, Astro was a very loving puppy. His left eye is brown, right blue, and he always greets you with a wagging tail.
His coat is the most beautiful black, and the hair gets all over you but I still love it.
Harley came a little later. I think I was 17 when she came around. A fat beagle puppy, but that would soon change considering there's nothing to eat out here except whatever scraps you find around.
She was a scared puppy, mostly scared of Astro, but she's a little beagle ball of energy when she warms up.
We were all the freaks together. The dogs soon became my best friends, and stuck by my side no matter what. I will always love them for that.
Time flies and I can't believe I've stayed alive this long. I can't believe I wasn't reaped, I wasn't starved…. The dogs are still alive and well but I can see them slowly dying.
I can actually get a job now… Or at least try. I get put to work cleaning stables, and, while I admit that it's a very unpleasant job, I'm more well-fed than I've ever been.
"Hey, SHITBOY!" Jane shouts, "SHITBOY!"
Grayson soon joins her. He's grown up, 14 now.
"SHITBOY! COME ON OVER HERE!"
I never thought he'd give in.
"HEY SHITBOY! WE HAVE A MESS OVER HERE FOR YOU!"
I growl, walking over to my step-siblings as they cackle. I shovel it up and keep my eyes focused on the ground, humiliated.
"YOU ARE HILARIOUS, SHITBOY!" Jane shouts, "TOO BAD YOU'RE TOO FREAKY TO HAVE YOUR OWN HORSE!" she and Grayson laugh, high-fiving and galloping away.
The nickname Shitboy sticks, and soon that's what I'm known as all day every day.
And it's just another stupid day in District 10 when I hear noises.
"THEY'RE HERE!"
Who's they?
Suddenly I hear a gunshot. A whirlwind of them.
"THE REBELS ARE HERE! EVERYONE, GRAB A HORSE!"
I look around, disoriented. I feel a snout tap my hand and seize the opportunity to saddle up, even though I probably shouldn't.
I recognize the horse to be Ginger, and she runs as soon as I dig my heel in her side.
I hear shouting and shooting and soon my vision is clouded by smoke. Ginger doesn't stop. Suddenly I feel a finger brushing against my leg and stop the horse.
"Get on!" I shout to whoever's on the ground, praying it's not a Peacekeeper.
A foot awkwardly climbs in the stirrup. Whoever it is will end up taking too long, getting us killed.
I swallow hard and squeeze my eyes shut, shouting down, "G…Grab my waist! Grab my waist for support and get on!"
"Are you sure?" it's a he, I know it for sure now, and he sounds just as weirded out as I am.
"If you don't we're gonna die!"
I feel his strong hands grab on and he hoists himself up. Chills run up my spine.
"Come on," I whisper to Ginger, and she takes off. The boy behind me screams, squeezing my shoulders for balance.
"HOLD ON!" I scream to him.
"DUCK!" he screams and I do as he says. I think he has a gun.
I hear gunshots behind me and know it's true.
We both scream like crazy people.
I don't know how long this goes on, but it has to be a while because I begin to feel tired.
The gunshots slow and then finally stop.
Soon the smoke clears and I climb off the horses, spurs jingling.
I hold out my hand and see mystery man for the first time.
He is… He's…He's…
He takes my hand and slides down off the horse. He lands at my feet.
I see his lips moving.
His beautiful green eyes smile at me. And he grins at me expectantly.
I didn't even hear a word that came out of his mouth.
I shake my head and blink, "What?"
He laughs, "My name is Jax. I'm from District 13. You are…?"
"Tailor." Then I add quickly, "Tarrick…Tailor… My first name is Tarrick."
He smiles. "Nice to meet you, Tarrick."
I realize his hand is outstretched. I feel so awkward as I reach out and take it.
A boy with dark hair and brown eyes shouts, "We're not gonna get out of here tonight! You all need to find somewhere to stay!
"Thanks for the horse," Jax says flipping his video camera open.
"Huh? Oh, um… Any time."
He smiles.
"Well, I have to put Ginger back in the stable…" I mutter.
"Let me come with you!" he says.
"Oh, um… You…You don't understand…"
He frowns.
"I'm… I'm just the shit boy," I say quietly, "That was kicked out by his parents when he was a kid."
He takes me by the shoulder. "Let me be your fairy godmother," he whispers.
I slowly turn around and look at him. "Why?"
"My own sister is currently ignoring me…I know how you feel…"
"She is? Why?"
"'S not important," he says quietly.
I nod, understanding the feeling. Then I turn around again and when I walk, he follows me.
"Come to 13 with me, Tarrick," he finally says.
"What?" I ask.
"Please. You saved my life…Let me save yours."
It's a big request.
"That's very…Sweet…Of you…"
Ginger walks with me and Jax keeps up.
"Don't you want out of here?"
"I guess…Maybe…"
"Let me take you." He smiles, beautiful green eyes lighting up hopefully.
"I guess." I sit on the corner, against a wood building.
Harley and Astro run over, Harley yipping and jumping up on Jax's legs.
Astro runs in circles around my ankles first, until I fall over. Then he bolts to Jax and does the same thing until he sits next to me.
"This is where you live?"
"Gets me by," I say as Astro and Harley sit next to me.
"Nobody should live like this," he says in a whisper.
"Well I do. And I live just fine…"
"You have a bit of an accent," he whispers.
"So I do. I'll never know why."
"Well you're not sleeping alone tonight," he whispers.
"I have the dogs…"
"They're sweet. But you need to know that there are human beings that care about you."
"There aren't."
"Well there is now."
A smile finds its way across my face.
The sun sets and Astro and Harley each curl up to one side of me.
I whisper, "Good night."
"Night…" he whispers back, even though neither of us closes our eyes.
"Hey Tarrick," he whispers.
"Hey Jax," I whisper back.
"Is it wrong to be in love with guys and girls?"
"To the world, yes."
"Oh… Right…"
"But to the ones that really matter… No."
"But my sister means the world to me! She's the only person I can say I love with everything in me. And she doesn't like it…."
"Why wouldn't she? If she loved you she'd accept you."
"She does love me… She thinks it's protecting me…"
"Why would it be protecting you?"
The stars are out now, the cold of night starting to settle in.
"A couple of gays did some pretty nasty stuff to us when we were kids… Guess it all just scarred her a little… She refuses to talk to any gays now…"
"That's terrible. They're not all bad."
"I know what you mean."
"I am."
He shifts a little. "Huh?"
"I am," I repeat, a little more confident, "I'm one of them."
He doesn't say anything for a long second.
Instead he reaches out and takes my hand. He runs his pointer finger up my rough knuckle.
"I'm sorry this happened to you. But you're gonna meet some awesome people in 13."
"You think?"
"I know. Geno, Tanner, Ben, Lucas, Rizzo, Rudi, Willow, Vick, Athena, Theo, Waverly, Finnick, Annie, Marley, Pit and Nikko… Even Santana's getting better! And then there are the Victors of the 81st Games… They're all so sweet… And…" he pauses, "There's a girl that I'm so head over heels for…. She's beautiful, brilliant, and so strong… She's great."
I swallow hard and nod, "Yeah. She's lucky."
"She doesn't notice me. Well, she kind of does, but just as a best friend…."
"Yeah. You…You have a great chance…"
"Thanks. It means a lot, even though you don't really know me that well. I like to think I'll have a chance someday."
"Yeah."
The breeze blows and I shiver slightly. I'm used to this, but poor Jax looks like he's in Antarctica.
"Hey Tarrick… You still awake?"
"'Course." I squeeze the hand he's still holding.
"Have you ever felt homesick in your life? You probably haven't-"
"No, no, I have." I stare up at the sky, trying to organize the emotions that are building in my gut.
"I am. Right now. All I want is to be back home. But I'll never get there…"
"You will someday. 13 isn't too-"
"I'm not from 13," he says, grip on my hand so tight that I can barely feel my hand. Not like I care.
"You're an escapee?"
"I miss it so bad. I had to change everything when I got here… Even my name…"
"Your name's not really Jax?" I ask thoughtfully. He slightly loosens his grip to move his fingers up my knuckles again.
"It's not. It's Jack. Jack Hourner."
"I see. Did you change your last name, too?"
"Never really thought about it. Emma hasn't changed hers at all… I guess I just want to try to be someone different…."
"You need to be you."
"But I can't change back now… My past is gone."
"If you say. But if I were you I'd hold on to some of it." It's my turn to tighten my grip on his hand.
"What do you mean?"
"It could help you. You can't just forget…You can't keep running away forever. Just a chunk."
He thinks, fingers going up and down my knuckles still. Suddenly he says, "Call me by my last name."
"Huh?"
"Would you?"
"Sure…"
"Major Theramin does it already… But I want to hear it constantly… Just hearing it reminds me of my past…."
"Ok. I'll call you Hourner from now on."
He gives my hand a quick squeeze, "Thank you Tarrick."
I shrug, "Nah. Thank you… Hourner."
He smiles and strokes my knuckles until I doze off to sleep. The girl he's in love with doesn't leave my mind. I'm sure she's wonderful.
Probably better than me in every way.
I should just give up on loving him before it even starts. Then he'll never hurt me.
But I think it's started already.