The door creaked open and Kayo stood there, almost venerable, and John's heart cracked. He hadn't wanted this. He had never intended this. This world could crumble but even here he never wanted her to be hurt.
'Kayo.' He stepped forward to hold her, to wrap his arms around and apologise, but she flinched away. She was afraid of him. A small pang skittered across the back of his mind and it took everything to hold onto his resolve. 'Kayo, please.' He held out his hand, willing her to take it. 'I was angry and... frightened. I didn't mean it like it came out. Let me explain?' he pleaded, trying his best to sound small and regretful. 'Please?'
She peered at his hand, looking at it like it was about to grow teeth and bite her arm off, but after a moment, a moment that stretched out forever to him, she took it. Careful movements. He smiled, the sigh of relief genuine and taking him by surprise as he wrapped his arms around her, never wanting to let go.
'You.' She sniffed, pulling back and wiping her eyes. 'You made it sound like you killed him.'
'What?' He forced a smile, one he hoped was nervous and surprised. 'You think, thought I would…?' He swallowed; he had to make sure he was doing this right, not overacting but at the same time not under. He had a sudden newfound respect for how easily Alan and Gordon could lie, the false words just rolling off their tongues. 'My own brother?' She looked up at him, those golden eyes smudged by green, full of suspicion and uncertainty.
'Kayo, please, why would I do that?' he snapped, frustrated and angry at her and himself and this whole damned situation. 'Why?' She flinched at his tone, pulling away from him when he reached for her again, having realised his own mistake. 'I'm sorry, just...' He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. 'My own brother, really?'
She sidestepped him, never looking up. 'We should get back to you grandmother.' He didn't know if she believed him or not, but either way she would find out, she was like a dog with a bone, and he was going to have to decide how much she meant to him.
Was she worth the risk?