To be honest, I'm not quite sure if I completely like this chapter… On this one in particular, I would be very thankful for feedback. If you don't want to review, just send a PM, however you like!
Still: Enjoy!
Chapter 32
Zelda
She opened her eyes somewhere in the early hours of morn. She felt wonderfully warm and safe, like rarely before… Zelda immediately knew where she was, which, honestly, surprised her… In the middle of a forest, dangerously close to a man wasn't a situation that she had much experience with… yet still, this felt more familiar, more at home than her chambers in the castle could ever hope to. He still had his arm around her, bestowing solace and protection. In the nascent rays on sunlight, if she looked up just slightly, she could see his sleeping, beautiful face, so tantalizingly close to her own. She felt a drowsy, but nigh irresistible urge to shower it with kisses, softly at first, so he would gently wake by her ministrations, then fiercer, so he would return the favour and… maybe more…
After an agonizing moment she decided against it. She would have to stir, move closer to him, which would no doubt rouse him… and he seemed so peaceful, she didn't want that. Instead she closed her eyes once more and immediately felt herself sink back into slumber, carried by his strong arms.
They were startled awake by a shaking of the earth. Zelda gasped as she felt herself being violently tossed back and forth. She grabbed quick handfuls of Link's clothes, fearing in her half sleeping state that she might get battered off the face of the earth if she didn't hold fast. She felt him strain to keep both of them as still as possible while the ground beneath them tried to tear them this way and that. She shut her eyes tightly, trying to control her fear, while she heard the panicked whinnying of the horses.
Then, as soon as it had started, it was over. The ground was still, the earth quiet once more.
Link looked around in apparent haste, not yet willing to let her go, which right now was fine by her. Her heart still hammered in her chest as if it was trying to escape away. Slowly, as his breathing calmed, so did she, thought that only gave room for her now abused side and back to make their complaints felt.
"Are you alright?" he asked, sweet but urgent concern in his voice.
She nodded, working her shoulder that seemed to have taken the worst of it. He looked at it, the worry in his eyes increasing to pitiable levels before she smiled. "It's fine, Link. A bit battered at the worst." she assured him. After a second he nodded, some of his worries alleviated.
She had to admit, she rather liked how he fretted about her well-being, because it was genuine. He cared… it wasn't just his job to keep her safe, he truly cared! And even though she wanted to be strong, a traitorous part of her also really wanted to be coddled by him… was that so wrong?
To her disappointment, he now finally removed his arm from her shoulders. She was almost tempted to pull him back, but they had to check on the horses, so she followed his lead and stood up. Or at least she tried to… The muscles in her legs seemed to have other plans… plans that apparently involved feather-beds and immobility for a few weeks.
She looked at her protector and made a disgruntled face. How, by Din's fire, could he just jump up like this after the torturous forced march he had put them through yesterday? She had feared that her limbs might ache today, but this? They hardly even listened to any command!
Alright, you slackers! We will not look like a limp Riversnail, wriggling helplessly on dry land in front of him. So. Get. Up!
Slowly, deliberately, she put her muscles in motion, one after another, until she finally was close to what could be considered upright. Feeling like a babe that had just made its fist little steps, she walked stiffly over to where he was checking on their mounts. Thankfully they seemed to be unharmed by the quake, though they still seemed skittish.
"Too bad… I had hoped I would get to carry you to your horse…" he suddenly said, grinning at her over his shoulder.
She made a slightly pouty face. Damn. Nothing escaped those sharp senses of his. "One would think that a whole night with me in your arms would be enough for you…" she purred, an impish smile stealing on her lips.
He turned and gave her one of his ravishing, playful smiles. "A whole lifetime with you in my arms wouldn't be enough." he cooed back.
Zelda felt herself flush furiously. How does he keep doing that?! And why does such a corny line have such an effect on me, damn it all?! At least he too reddened a bit at seeing her reaction.
"Making my knees weak right now is not the best idea…" she mumbled.
Thankfully, he changed the subject… probably because he too was now red as a spicy pepper. "If you are ok with it, I would like to continue as quickly as possible. Between nightly Bokoblin and morning earthquake, this spot is quickly losing my confidence…" he uttered.
She gave a soft snort of a laugh and nodded. She stepped closer to Celeste and caressed her nose and cheek. "I hope you will have some mercy today… for the horses, naturally." she said with slight self-mockery.
"Sure." he answered levelly. "We don't have to ride, if you don't want to. We can just walk the same distance. We could also carry the bags… and as a last resort, you can simply carry me, if my legs give out."
"Certainly. The frail and weak of will shall always find a place in my arms. Though I am not above throwing away unwanted ballast, no matter how much it cries." she countered equally dryly while she assisted Link in saddling first Janna, then Celeste.
Once that was done he reaffixed the saddlebags while Zelda rolled up the blankets and stowed them away. Her own hadn't been used tonight anyway, she remembered with a cautious smile. That had not, strictly speaking, been planned, though, she had to admit, waking in his arms had possibly been one of the sweetest moments she could recall. She could get used to that… Apart from the minor detail called 'massive earthquake', it had been an excellent morning… She almost wanted to simply sit down and, at least for a little while, bask in his warmth that still lingered on her… just like his wonderful scent…
"In all seriousness, though. How much travel will you put us through today?" she asked as she opened her braid and shook out her golden hair. When he didn't answer, she looked up in the middle of combing through it with her fingers. He was just watching her, apparently mesmerized. She had to suppress a grin at his slightly gormless but nonetheless adorable stare. "Weeeell?" she prompted.
He seemed snap out of his trance, but only partially. "Far less than yesterday. We travelled almost two days' worth already. So we can gentle our pace a little." he mumbled while observing her every move.
She was certainly not opposed to having his full attention on her, it made her something in her belly tingle pleasantly, but still, she felt her cheeks grow warm. "You do know that you are staring, right, my good sir knight?" she asked.
He simply nodded. "Purposefully and unabashedly." he added.
She couldn't help but grin at this moonstruck fool as she fixed her hair in a ponytail. She walked over to Celeste and, now with her muscles reacquainted to movement, swung herself into the saddle. "Shall we?" she chirped down at him, who was still standing there, entranced.
"Err… quite." he muttered and nodded. He pulled himself into the saddle and cast one last look over their 'camp', no doubt making sure that they hadn't forgotten anything. She only now noticed how ruffled his hair at the back of his hair was and had to smirk. It looked almost like the tail feathers of a cucco. It looked rather cute, but she knew that would drive her crazy if she had to spend the whole day looking at it when she was riding behind him. Zelda expertly got her horse to sidestep closer to him and, before he could resist, flattened the errant dark blonde strands down. An excellent excuse to comb her fingers through his hair, something that she loved doing for some reason.
He looked at her out of the corner of his eye with a questioning grin. "Spontaneous caressing? Are you planning something naughty?" he asked playfully.
Now she did! She kept her face deliberately plain. "Oh, you know… just had something icky on my fingers and needed to wipe them…"
Reflexively, he yanked his hand to the back of his head with a worried expression before he caught on to her little ruse. He glared at her in mock sulkiness. "You little imp! I hope you're not hungry because you're not getting anything!" he threatened.
As if on cue, her stomach produced a rather embarrassing and surprisingly loud grumble. It was a wonder the horse didn't panic, thinking a bear might have taken her place in the saddle.
"Now, that very eloquently answers that riddle!" Link exclaimed, delighted. "Well, too bad!" he called and stirred Janna into motion. The sudden void-like hole in her belly combined with the food hastily escaping denied her brain any thought or dignity.
"Wait!" she yelled and spurred Celeste to trot after him. She heard him laugh in malicious glee and just had to join in as she hunted after him.
He produced what looked like a sausage and, it heroically held aloft, he rode on. "Behold my mighty sword! Never shall the wicked witch at my heels lay her spindly fingers on it!" he shouted, waving the wobbling sausage around like a maniac. Zelda nearly lost her balance from laughing at the incomparably ridiculous sight. This might be the most stupid thing imaginable and she loved it!
"All shall perish that stand between me and my sustenance!" she screamed, making her voice high and screechy. She caught up to him and, her hands overstretched as claws, reached for the delicious prize.
"No! Mercy! I am undone! My trusty weapon is wrenched from my traitorous hands! How shall the hero overcome this mightiest of evils?!" he wailed as he proffered the sausage towards her while burying his face in his elbow dramatically.
She snatched it from his fingers and took a generous bite before he could come up with any more of his monkey business. As the horses slowed down, and the first hungry information about heavenly taste reached her brain, she spoke, her mouth full. "Finawwy! The coveted morsel is mime!" And before she swallowed she took another bite, so overpowering was her greed at the moment.
Link watched her with great amusement. "I love how, at the first sight of something edible, years of etiquette training go flying out the window with you." he chuckled.
She snorted and, finally, swallowed. She loved the strong, meaty taste… another culinary foray that would never have been possible within castle walls. There, everything had to taste delicate, smooth, inoffensive… if you have nothing to compare it with, fine. But now, with strong, interesting flavours like this simple travel salami open to her, it all seemed so dreadfully boring.
She drew herself back from flavour-heaven to answer his little jibe. "If you ever had to endure a state banquet, with tables bending to the breaking point with delicacies in front of you, and you, as princess, were expected to at best graciously nibble on one or two little morsels over the course of hours, you would understand. Besides, with that diabolic corset I couldn't have eaten more anyway, bloody ridiculous contraption!" she fumed at the memory of all the missed culinary opportunities and the nearly breathless discomfort she had had to endure.
Link looked at her with open-mouthed disbelief, glanced demonstratively at her belly and back. "Why in Din's hellfire would you wear a corset?!" he asked, hilariously distressed.
She actually had to giggle at the appalled face he was making. "So I can look as if a Hinox had picked me up and squeezed, naturally. Or maybe…" she added conspiratorially. "Maybe I am wearing one right now… maybe I've always worn one to hide my true girth!" She breathed in sharply and opened her eyes wide in mock surprise and put her hand over her mouth. "Maybe I really am enormously fat!" she whispered and took another slow and deliberately huge bite from the sausage while staring fixedly into his eyes.
Link exploded in laughter, so much so that Janna actually got a fright and whinnied. Zelda grinned happily as he desperately tried to regain his balance while his body contorted in helpless giggles. 'Yes! Got him!' she thought, pleased with herself. He had brought so many wonderful laughing fits to her life already, she loved that she could return the favour.
They rode a while, she quietly grinning to herself while he tried to get his bearing back. He wiped the tears out of his eyes and held his stomach. "Ow… and that on an empty stomach. You really are an evil witch, aren't you?" he moaned while grabbing something for himself.
She chuckled wryly. "You may find that many girls become evil when they are denied food. You may want to remember that, Sausage Knight!" she warned, and had to suppress a giggle when he indeed had another sausage between his lips and looked at her with a raised eyebrow. "I shall remember it well, my Dumpling Princess." he said softly.
They travelled silently for a while, always closely side-by-side, and continued their breakfast. As they had skipped dinner yesterday because, in the end, they had basically just collapsed from exhaustion, it took quite a while for them to fill their stomachs to a level where it wasn't complaining.
Once the need for sustenance was no longer occupying every last thought of her brain, Zelda had another concern… probably brought on by the sudden work her digestive system had to do. And now that this matter had her full attention, the urge grew rather uncomfortably fast.
They had, of course, stopped before to do their business, but… Nayru's mercy, this was still dreadfully embarrassing! And until now it had always been him who had called a pause, which she had been able to use. It was stupid, she knew, but asking to stop herself was just… distressing.
But so was the situation right now…
"Err… Link? I have to stop for a moment…" she muttered lowly and felt her ears grow hot. Stupid!
Thankfully he understood immediately, halted his horse, got off and, his cheeks also having a shimmer of pink, handed her the coarse paper that had been wrapped around their food, which he had cleverly kept.
"Do you need some water?" he mumbled, purposefully avoiding to look at her face.
"Please…" she whispered. He handed her a small waterskin and she, rather undignified, had to step briskly away. Whoever created these bodily functions had clearly been a sadistic creep, she thought, looking for a decent spot. How far away should she go? To the other end of the world couldn't be far enough right now. 'It's a natural thing. He does it too.' a reasonable voice reminded her. 'Doesn't bloody matter!' the far more potent part of her answered. 'It was bad enough doing it with maids waiting on you, but with him?! I'd rather die!'
She finally found a place that was well out of sight, hastily undid her belt and went about her business. She nearly fell over, trying to secure hair, clothes, balance and, most importantly, out-of-sightness…
When she was finally relieved she had to shake her head and stifle a laugh at the whole situation. Well, what the hell had she expected? Outhouses at periodic intervals?
These are the details that, strangely, slip one's attention when planning such an endeavour. Details that don't even cross one's mind as they are seemingly unimportant… idiotic, when obviously these are the things which occasionally matter very, very much…
She granted herself a sigh of easement. She readjusted her blessedly still clean clothes… thankfully none of the nightmare scenarios of utter nightmarish nightmareness that her mind had concocted had come to pass.
Zelda used a little bit of water to wash her hands, but it couldn't quite satisfy her desire for cleanliness. She walked back and found a still slightly shamefaced looking Link, gazing purposefully in another direction.
How completely absurd it all was! Of all the things they might have to do on their quest, defy death, save the world… and this is what causes both of them distress! Hylian minds are ludicrous in their thinking…
He finally looked at her. "I'll go too." he mumbled and took the water from her. Zelda frowned, slightly surprised. "Why didn't you?"
"Because I don't want both of us to be caught with our pants down!" he called back to her while he vanished in the bushes.
If they hadn't just encountered a Bokoblin yesterday, she might have laughed at that… That whole situation had been so utterly surreal, she still wasn't a hundred percent sure that it hadn't been a figment of her overwrought mind.
…no, it had definitely been real. An echo of the fear she had felt when the thing had aimed at Link rose through her body and squeezed her heart. Dear goddess, what would she have done? Would she have had the courage to jump up and face the beast if he couldn't? What would she have done if he had been hurt? She had read up heavily on basic medical knowledge, but to treat an arrow wound…? So many panicked thoughts had raced through her mind, but then…
Then the monster had just left… This boggled her mind to no end. That thing's reaction was so completely unexpected, so unreal, that she hadn't even been able to think about it until just now… her brain had almost negated that this had happened, so confusing was it all. She would have to discuss this with Link, maybe he had some insight in Bokoblin behaviour…
He returned shortly afterwards. They both got back in the saddle and, still avoiding each other's looks awkwardly, moved on.
She heard something soft and heavy fall to the ground behind her. Turning around slightly she saw that Celeste had raised her tail and was unabashedly relieving herself to her heart's content. She had to stifle an inappropriate giggle. How easy it all could be, if only (relative) intelligence didn't get in the way…
It was getting hot… While it was probably cooler here, under the canopy of the forest, the air was also more moist. Her clothes stuck uncomfortably to her back and she felt more and more sweaty. Zelda did not necessarily object to being unclean, she did, however, have a strong opinion on people that smelled… She waited for a moment when Link was looking the other way and furtively sniffed at her armpit. It wasn't too bad, but she still couldn't suppress a slight wrinkle on her nose. So: not good.
She looked back at him, hoping that he hadn't caught her somewhat embarrassing manoeuvre. He clothes clung to him too, he had a slight sheen of sweat on his brow and his already slightly messy hair looked heavy. On him, of course, all this looked absolutely breathtakingly good! How unfair was that? She felt desire simmering up inside her as she watched his, by now, elegant riding while he looked so… appetizing. Before her mind's eye she imagined herself ruffle his damp hair, then tracing her hands down to his nude, muscular chest while kissing his sweaty face. And her hands travelled ever lower…
With a jolt she awoke from her fantasy and instantly turned red as a beet. Holy Trinity, where had that suddenly come from? Was it the heat? Or that he inexplicably looked so amazing? …or maybe it was just her ever increasing desire, which she had yet to fully admit to herself?
…..whatever it was, it had been… potent. She looked down upon herself and frowned. She had rather looked forward to, well, repeat how they had fallen asleep yesterday… trapped in his warm embrace but with her in this sorry state, she wasn't sure whether she could allow herself to lie in his arms… what if she smelled rancid to him? Goddess, the thought was so terrible in her mind, she couldn't even entertain it for more than a second. Something had to be done, or there would be no cuddles… and damn it all, she wanted some.
"Say, knight of all that is sausage…" she began carefully, thinking of how to word her request.
He stirred from his contemplative silence immediately. "Yes, your majesty of dumplinghood?" he prompted.
"How does… err… how would one wash while travelling as we are?" she asked.
His eyes widened in shock and she immediately understood why. He must think that she thought him foul! Goodness, no! "No! No no no, Link, that's not what I meant! Truly!" she stammered, cursing herself for her lack of insight. She knew how adorably self-conscious he could be… if she felt uneasy with herself in this heat, undoubtedly so would he! "You're fine. It's… me…" she pressed out before she could think of anything less embarrassing, and felt her face grow warm.
He gave a brief laugh, more of a relieved exhalation. "Well… one doesn't. Our drinking water is too valuable for that. And…" he hesitated and, to her surprise, blushed furiously. "…and I simply deny the possibility that your scent can be anything but wonderful…"
Zelda looked at his red, honest face and felt herself flush in kind. As dumb as it was, her heart fluttered at the cute, helpless attempt at comforting her… it was such a bumbling attempt… and she loved it with every fibre and couldn't get enough…
"I on the other hand…" he continued while making a face. "But, I am afraid this is something that one has to get used to… However, today we are in luck. Right now its midday… if I'm not completely wrong, we should cross a little stream in a couple of hours… I distinctly remember it from when we travelled to Hyrule city for the relief it brought… believe me, compared to Ricco and Sir Russel, you cannot possibly offer anything even remotely as intense…" he babbled, still profoundly shamefaced.
Zelda gazed at her embarrassed knight and, with him looking so utterly cute, felt that persistently present desire boil up once more. This time she had to forcefully quell it, or she might have pulled him from his saddle right then and there and… and what? She knew how it was done, she just didn't know how it was done! Damn this heat, it was making her stupid! But she knew that it wasn't just the air's heat that made her feel this way…
He mentioned water… a stream, she recollected faintly, before her hormones had taken over. Think of that, she ordered herself. Cool, refreshing water… it better be ice-cold, or else…
"A couple of hours?" she asked hoarsely, to get her attention away from… that. He nodded, his face still looking flushed, almost as if… Could she dare hope that he thought the same thing? Or was she just… perverted?
"Aye, three at max. We can't miss it in any case, we have to cross it. I thought, maybe, we can make camp there for today, reward ourselves for yesterday. We will still have travelled about six hours…" he muttered.
Zelda had to smile. "That does sound perfect…" she agreed.
They were silent for a while, both trying to control the confusing vortex of emotions in their heads.
Then, she remembered last night's unwanted visitor. "Say… what do you make of that odd Bokoblin yesterday evening?" she asked, hoping it would get her mind away from his… everything.
He took a moment to think. "You refer to its sudden 'mercy', I assume?" he wanted to know.
She nodded. "Yes, I have never heard of such behaviour. Bokoblin not attacking when they are hopelessly outnumbered, sure! But one of them choosing to go back on its assault and retreat…" she trailed off, still utterly confused by this.
Another few moments of pondering from him. "There are two possibilities for why it just ran off without actually attacking…" he began, and fell silent once more.
Zelda waited patiently for him to finish his thought. "One, it understood that the risk was too high. If it had attacked, it would have perished." he explained, his voice grave.
She furrowed her brow. "But… if it had shot its arrow…" she broke off, not really wanting to finish that thought, or visualize what it would look like…
"Even if it had hit me, which is not certain, I would have still reached it in an instant." he told her calmly. "Even if it had hit my heart, the few seconds remaining to me would have been enough to end it too." he said, and despite the utter horribleness of the images his words conjured, she believed him. He turned towards her and smiled sombrely. "You don't die instantly from an arrow. You hardly ever die instantly…" he muttered. She saw the sense in his words, but it was grim and depressing. She didn't want to think about it further. "And the second possibility?" she asked.
He took a deep breath, trying to wrest himself out of the dark mood, she knew. "I mentioned how we encountered a Boko in the woods near Ord, didn't I? Well… I had my bow and held it in check. But I didn't shoot. It was alone and it had no chance… so I spared it. It fled into the underbrush…" he recounted, then fell silent.
She understood what he was saying… it even made sense to her, although the concept of one of these monsters reciprocating the mercy it had received was so altogether new a concept, that she had difficulty wrapping her head around it. "You believe it was the same one?" she asked softly, sensing how he too struggled with the idea.
Link nodded, deep in thought. "Somehow, I know that it was. I know that this is the explanation… but it defies almost everything I ever thought I knew about these beasts…" he grumbled.
Zelda took a moment to think. Bokoblin were considered nearly mindless… a predator that did not fear Hylians, like animals did. They hunted in packs, mostly, similar to wolves, but their penchant for senseless violence and slaughter separated them clearly from the far more noble canines. Still… they employed tools, crude ones, yes, but nevertheless… they erected primitive huts and they could harness fire… for one to understand mercy was… plausible, she felt.
"Maybe, even in these times, it doesn't have to be kill or be killed…" she offered thoughtfully. He didn't answer. He just rode on, looking down ponderously.
Two and a half hours later Zelda could hear the soft murmur of a gentle stream, just as Link had promised. They followed it eastwards for about ten minutes before they found a good, shallow spot to cross it. They got off to lead their horses to the other side and she was a little surprised that Janna trusted Link enough already that she let herself be guided without objection. She followed, and while she had no trouble with Celeste, the cold water that, unavoidably, nipped at her feet made her hiss.
Once there, she looked around and had to smile. The trees stood a little sparser here… large areas of sunlight broke through the canopy, but it felt cool nonetheless. The stream, its gently waving surface glittering as if made of diamonds, bestowed the place a delightful crispness after the humid heat of the woods. The rivulet's banks were a vibrant, lush cascade of mosses and ferns in emerald colours…
Zelda had already fallen in love with this place, with its earthy, fresh smell and the lulling song of playful water. "It's so wonderful here…" she breathed, closing her eyes to let her other senses take over.
"Sure is…" Link mumbled.
She looked at him, concern stealing on her features. He had barely said a word since their earlier discussion… had just looked ahead, staring at nothing with a slight frown on his face. Obviously, something was bothering him quite a bit, but… frankly, she didn't really know what to do. Wait for him to find a way to work it out? Or should she ask him directly? As it was, he seemed to be so absent… there were so many things that might trouble him on their voyage, she simply couldn't be sure what it was that occupied his thoughts so completely. Should she just burst into his pondering? How did men react when they were offered help? As silly as that would be, she didn't want to wound his pride by doing anything he might consider overprotective. Then again, she also didn't want him to think that she didn't notice his inner battle, or infinitely worse, that she didn't care. She didn't want him to feel alone… she knew how that felt all too well…
She took a deep breath. As dumb as it was, she had to scrape together a considerable amount of courage to ask him. "Link?" she asked softly.
"Hmm?" he hummed and, for the first time in hours, looked at her.
"Is… is everything alright?" she questioned. Nayru's wisdom, that sounded so stupid! Of course it wasn't! She wouldn't be surprised if he turned away in a huff after so mindless a question.
Instead he smiled, but… she could tell there was no real mirth behind it. "It's okay. It's just… a lot to think about." he answered absolutely nothing.
He didn't want to talk about it and she accepted that… for now. Though she promised herself that, if his mood didn't clear up by evening, she would ask again. Even if she had to be pesky, something she had learned quite well from a certain cousin of hers, she would at least determine whether she could help him, or not. Saria had always pestered her when she herself had been in a dark mood, sometimes even going so far as to physically poke her until she finally spilled her thoughts. And, strangely, it had always felt better afterwards, when she had put all those muddled, circling thoughts into words.
For now, she nodded, though with a hint of disbelief deliberately put on her face. "We will stay here then?"
"We will." he confirmed while relieving Janna of the saddle. "I will gather firewood. I'll stay away from the water in case you… you know…" he muttered, his mind clearly wresting him back into whatever dark vortex it had in store for him.
Zelda made a face. She had to admit, she had gotten rather used to his near constant, sweet attention… and now that he was so occupied with himself, she felt shut out, which disgruntled her. Oh well… maybe he really does need to be alone for a while… maybe her presence was disrupting his thinking… He certainly had the power to turn her brain to mush when he looked at her just right… or sometimes even when she just looked at him…
Fine. But she would certainly not just toddle off and leave all the work to him. She undid the clasps of Celeste's saddle and heaved it off. Damn, that stuff was heavy! She barely managed to lift it away from her horse's back and let it sink to the ground rather undignified. She could sense behind her that he had taken a few steps to help her, but had halted when she had already managed it herself. 'Hah! Too late, mister chivalrous…' she thought to herself. Without a glance for him, she led both Celeste and Janna to the stream and let them drink while she rubbed them down vigorously. When she had fixed their reins to a tree she took her mat and spread it on the ground. Link was already out of sight, but not out of earshot.
Now then! She grabbed her generous lump of soap, went back to the water and picked a particularly sight-proof spot. Zelda took another moment to gaze over the glittering surface of the gently twisting rivulet, its crystal clear water embedded in many-hued mossy rocks and earth. She loved the sight, though she couldn't fully enjoy nature's splendour right now.
Damn it all, I'm going to bathe in a marvellous stream and I'm going to enjoy it! She took a reflexive glance over her shoulder. She knew that he wouldn't do that. She trusted him completely in this regard… which was in itself a bit odd because… she didn't know if she would trust herself not to take a harmless little peek…
Get him out of your mind and enjoy the bath!
She removed her soft, leather boots and socks and shivered slightly when she dipped a questing toe into the water. She wasn't used to water this cold… even in summer her bath-water was usually heated to lukewarm. Still, she was definitely looking forward to this, even though she might squeal like a little girl. 'That might disturb his thoughts again' a tiny but insistent voice stated.
Goddess damn it, can't I just enjoy myself?! Not everything has to be about him, brain!
Almost as if to prove a point, she unbuttoned her blouse, yanked it off, then cast off her trousers.
'You are now almost naked with Link less than ten metres away' the little voice supplied helpfully. Zelda wanted to strangle it.
Why? Why can't you leave me alone?
'Because you're trying to amuse yourself while he is in pain.'
Don't be so melodramatic! He's not in pain, he's thinking!
'You have seen his face. Whatever he is thinking about, it bothers him greatly.'
But why does this mean I can't have this moment? Why do his ponderings have to become my own?
'Is this not what you want? To share as many moments with him as you can? Or do you just pick the good ones, and leave the difficult ones for him to deal with?'
No! That's not fair!
'Quite! So gather up some backbone, help him as you would want to be helped, and then you can go and take a bath together.'
Wait what?
'Also, you're talking to yourself. Good job,'
Zelda felt like a right dolt, standing in her undies at the riverbank, staring into nothing while having a discussion with herself. The princess of Hyrule, lords and ladies!
She gazed at the invitingly flowing water again. A vexed frown grew on her face.
"Din's hellfire!" she mumbled under her breath as she reluctantly put her trousers back on.
She was mostly angry at herself for being so, so… considerate. It sounded like a curse word in her mind right now. She would get him to talk already, then jolly well have some fun, damn it! She put on her blouse again, fumbling with the buttons and , irritated, left the top one open when it refused to find its hole. She didn't even bother with her socks or boots. Turning her back to the beckoning stream, she stormed back to the camp.
All her anger instantly withered back to concern when she saw him. His left was facing her. He sat on a rock in front of a pile of firewood, flint and steel dangling from his limp hands, his elbows leaning heavily on his knees. His face and particularly his eyes were so filled with helpless sorrow that it nearly took her breath.
He hadn't even noticed her, even though she had non-too-subtly stomped into camp. He was just staring ahead, seemingly lost in despair.
She swallowed and stepped closer. In her mind's eye she could almost see the black tendrils of forlornness rooting him to the ground, bending his back with artificial, malicious weight. She also felt the cocoon he threatened to build around himself to keep his thoughts from spreading to the outside, but… it would also trap him in this dark web of depression.
As she walked closer, she tried to both make her presence felt, so he wouldn't start, and to be as subtle as possible. He didn't even stir.
"Link?" she tried, her voice breathy.
He twitched and breathed in sharply. His big blue eyes darted around and looked at her in fright. Once he realized it was her, he closed his eyes and exhaled in relief.
"I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to startle you!" she exclaimed, shocked at how completely shut off he had been.
He shook his head. "It's not your fault…" he said and gave a pathetic excuse for a smile. At least to her it was so obviously fake that she had to swallow again. Goddess, she had to help him! He had already helped her overcome dark moods several times! And now he desperately needed someone to do the same! Farore's mercy, it stung her heart to see him like this, him, who had helped her so much. She rounded him and squatted down directly in front of him. She wordlessly took the flint and steel from his unresisting hands and noticed how distractedly surprised he looked that he had just uselessly held them. She then took both of his hands and squeezed gently. "Link… please tell me what is troubling you. Don't shut me out!" she pleaded, already fighting back tears, for which she hated herself. For once, he needs me to be the strong one and all I do is bloody cry!
His big, beautiful eyes studied her, so much sorrow and uncertainty in them that she felt a cold shiver on her back. It frightened her to see him so unsteady… what on earth was it that tormented him?
He looked away slightly. "I didn't want to bother you with it. You have enough resting on your shoulders as it is." He sighed deeply. "Some protector I am…"
Her face turned determined and she let go of his right hand to touch his cheek and softly push his gaze back to her. "Don't do this to yourself! You are not just a sword made of mindless matter! You too can require aid. And who will you allow to help you if not… me…" she finished softly, opening herself up completely and hoping to all Three that he wouldn't reject her. So much was implied in her gaze… please let him see it, let him feel it… She needed to burst his cocoon before it hardened and could no longer be broken…
For what seemed like a breathless eternity they looked at each other, she tentatively caressing his cheek. A brief, terrible moment she believed he would push her away, sever the connection… but to her unspeakable relief, she saw his eyes open up, saw a reflection of the emotions she had lade bare for him, even if they were hued in sadness.
He closed his eyes, swallowed and moved his head ever so slightly against her hand, as if to draw strength from her touch.
"This is so hard to put into words… I am so afraid that I say it wrong and you don't understand…" he mumbled.
Still put at ease that he had accepted her assistance, she squeezed his hand reassuringly. "I won't." she promised and felt certain, though she couldn't say why.
"It's something you said, although… I'm already saying it wrong…" he shook his head in exasperation.
She let go or him and stood up. "Scoot over! Let me sit next to you!" she ordered softly and he slowly obeyed. She sat down, so close that their bodies touched, reached over and grabbed his left with her left, because she needed her right to stroke the back of his head supportively. "Just speak freely…" she whispered as she gently scratched just above his neck. "If anything you say has a meaning that might offend me, I will believe that this is not what you meant. I promise."
He had to give a single, weak laugh at that. Something, at least. She could feel him arrange his thoughts before he started anew.
"It's something that has been somewhere on my mind since… the arena… buried, but festering in my subconscious." he began.
"Since the day you saved me?" she asked, not needing clarification, but wanting him to remember all the good he has done for her, trying to lift him up.
He nodded.
"And my words before have unburied it?" she prompted when he didn't continue.
Again, he nodded. "You said that maybe it doesn't have to be kill or be killed. For whatever reason that has pierced those encapsulated thoughts and… they've spilled forth so potently that I felt like I might drown in them. Goddess, I sound like some weak-willed wimp!" he spat and shook his head at himself, a disgusted expression on his face.
She grabbed a handful of his hair, just enough so it would sting only very, very slightly. "Stop it, you!" she warned. "That's nonsense and you know it! I'll throw you in the river and wash your head vigorously, if that's how to get that obviously wrong rubbish out!"
He chuckled softly and she relaxed her grip on his hair. "Maybe you should. I'd rather like that, I think…" he answered softly.
"Only after you've told me everything…" she said, a tiny wry smile on her lips now.
He glanced at her out of the corner of his eye, then looked back straight ahead.
"What you said reminded me of our encounter with the Bokoblin. What I felt… what nearly happened... and it frightens me." he continued, obviously feeling ashamed, for which she wanted to pull his hair again, so stupid was it.
"Because of how close we were to being killed?" she asked, speaking bluntly because she hoped to quell her own fears by putting them in words.
Link snorted without a trace of humour and shook his head. "No, actually. Because of how close I was to killing again…" he muttered and his sad little smile turned to a pain filled grimace as he suddenly had to hold back his tears. He hid his face in his hand and breathed in sharply, quaveringly. She felt her own tears well up, hotly and in impotent compassion at seeing him like this. She squeezed his hand tighter and moved even closer, letting him feel even better that she was there.
"Please, please don't misunderstand! I know what I must do… and I do not, not in the least, regret saving you… please don't think that!" he whimpered and it nearly broke her heart.
"Shhh… I don't. Believe me, I don't." she soothed, her hand still caressing his neck, hoping her touch would make clear what her voice couldn't.
He took a few moments to regain his composure and a few more before he dared show his face to her again. She could still see water glistening in his eyes while her own tears flowed freely, having no hand free with which to wipe them away. They were needed elsewhere.
She now knew whence his despair had come and she felt like a heartless idiot for not realizing it sooner. Killing. Or course it troubled him greatly! And, the diabolically painful core of it all was that…
"It's all my fault…" she whispered without having meant to.
"No!" he exclaimed. For the first time he looked at her squarely in the face, his expression of utter shock startling her. "No! Don't, even for an instant, believe that I am accusing you! You are not responsible! You are the victim!" he reinforced thrice over. She, some part of her at least, knew that she wasn't to blame… but for an instant the pitiless fear that he might hold her responsible had crushed down on her and had nearly ground her to dust. His face, however, showed so much honest shock at the mere implication, that, mercifully, she was able to believe him. Still… it was her that he protected… her whom he had to kill for… the so desired relief wouldn't quite come, because of that knowledge…
He still looked at her with those terrified eyes, pleading for her to understand. She nodded and felt a new wave of tears threaten to erupt, which she suppressed by fiercely biting the inside of her cheek. She would not allow him to console her. Not this time. Right now, it was her duty to comfort him and she'd be damned if she failed at doing even that!
He looked relieved, thank the goddess. His head turned back to stare into the unknown and she resumed her gentle caresses.
After a few breaths, he continued, now that she had blessedly managed to open the floodgates. "Remember every swing I had to do… I have killed… fourteen? I'm not even completely sure… Shouldn't I be? I have killed them, ended their lives… should I not at least know how many lives I have taken? These weren't just mindless monsters. Enemies, despicable wretches, yes, but… someone's friends perhaps… someone's sons or, Farore's mercy, someone's daughter… or lover… I could feel their fear, their horror and pain as I cut through their ranks… And I see why… That dreadful… foul… ice-cold flame that seemed to engulf me, gave me strength but also turned me… merciless… cold… I've seen his face, Zelda… the last assassin the day before yesterday. You have wounded him, he was barely a threat to anyone… least of all to me… and I snuffed his life with no conscience, no hesitation… I've seen his face when his mask came off as he fell. That lifeless stare, terror and pain forever frozen on his features. He looked so normal… no monster in the night, just… Hylian… like anyone you might find on the streets… Those unblinking, horrible eyes…"
He shuddered violently and stopped talking.
Zelda looked at his pained features silently for a while. She had let him speak, get everything out… now she needed to say something… anything. "What can I do to help you? I so much want to help you…" she whispered, her eyes threatening to become wet once again.
He thought for a long moment. "I don't know. I know what I have to do and I won't falter. And, again, I have no regrets about saving you, even if that is the cost. But…" he looked to the heavens and shook his head, his lip quivering. "I don't want to keep taking lives. I just don't, Zelda… And I don't know… is that wrong? They have proven to be merciless murderers, bent only on death. And still, I don't wish to end them, even if I must. Is this a weakness? What if it's a weakness that costs… you?" he asked, his voice trembling slightly.
Zelda did not need to think very long for her answer. "I don't know what I would think of you if you enjoyed it. I would probably be deeply disgusted. That you don't, that you resist such baser instincts only tells me that you are the right man to protect me and… you have even risen considerably in my regard." she assured him, her voice strong now. "It is not a weakness. Absolutely not! If we had to stoop to the same evil ways as the Threat and its agents to save this world, then maybe it is not worth saving. I will not allow you to become the very thing we fight. And I expect the same kind of control from you over me, understood?" she pronounced, her voice deliberately regal to show him how perfectly serious she was being.
He turned to face her, his expression a strange mix of emotions. Relief, sincerity, surprise… thankfulness… He nodded earnestly, then smiled slightly and, blessedly, it seemed genuine once more. Seeing it on his handsome face made her immediately smile back. Apparently she had done it… had saved him from this ever downwards pulling, dark bog of fear and doubt that she knew so well herself. Zelda felt so relieved that she abruptly rose and hugged his head to her chest, hoping that he felt all the trust, affection and protectiveness she conveyed with this gesture. She realized that she hugged him like a mother would her child, but… why not? Wasn't that too needed occasionally? She placed her lips on the top of his head and kissed him for a long while. Slowly but surely, his initial rigidity at her embrace softened and he relaxed in her arms. Her strong knight, her stalwart protector, melting into putty at her touch…
"And the next time something eats away at your soul like this, you tell me right away, or I swear I will hold you underwater until all that nonsense is washed away!" she purred lovingly and looked to the side so she could see his face. He nodded, his eyes closed in apparent comfort. Or, she later reflected, because due to her not closing all buttons properly, he would have had a perfect view at a lot of her chest and bra… oh well…
They didn't end up bathing together, the mood was still to sombre for any such extravagancies. But, at least, it was once again peaceful. They didn't talk much for the remainder of the day. What else could be said after all that? Zelda knew that she couldn't 'solve' this grave trouble of his. She also knew that she need not worry about him faltering. She would simply have to find ways to ease his pain while hoping that maybe, now that they were out of the capital, less attacks would occur. For now, that's all there was to do. She did have her bath, naturally, huffing and puffing as the cold water caressed every inch of her body. The rather smutty part of her mind wished for a vaguely Link-shaped source of warmth to be with her, but she ignored it for now.
When she returned, feeling fresh and alive, she found, to her amusement, that Link had once again spread his blanket at a 'safe' distance from hers. She nearly had to giggle at her shy knight. Well, actions speak louder than words!
He was currently kindling their little campfire when she sat down on her mat and cleared her throat loudly.
He turned, with a slightly confused look. Zelda then proceeded to reach over to grab his blanket and, pointedly, pulled it closer until their two sleeping-places became one. She then looked at him with an innocent, eyebrow-raised look, wordlessly asking whether he had any objections to this new arrangement.
As expected, he hadn't. To her delight, a flicker of his impish smile returned to his face before he, turning beet-red, returned his attention to the growing flames. She waddled over to him on her knees and gently hugged him from behind, resting her chin on his strong shoulder. He gave a soft, pleased hum.
Zelda closed her eyes and enjoyed the growing warmth of the fire on her face as she felt his hands cup hers across his chest.
Maybe tonight she wouldn't fall asleep in his arms… maybe, just tonight, he would slumber safely in hers… She decided that this, too, was perfectly wonderful…