Chapter 15

"Something's wrong." The way Gabby said it, it wasn't a question. Sylvie looked away and took a sip from her water glass, stalling for time. "Come on, I knew it the minute you guys arrived at the church. You think I don't know how to read my brother's moods? I've had plenty of practice." Gabby touched Sylvie's arm, a gesture of reassurance. "I know you too, something happened, didn't it?"

Sylvie shook her head. "Gabby, don't worry about it. We don't want to spoil Ruby's day." Sylvie stroked Ruby's hair. She clung to Gabby, sleepy and content in her mother's arms. Sylvie smiled at her niece.

"Brett, come on." Gabby rarely called her Brett any more. Doing so now meant she was serious about getting answers.

Sylvie glanced across the room where Antonio was standing with Diego and Ramon, a beer in hand. "Someone threw a brick through our livingroom window in the middle of the night" she said matter of factly, then immediately regretted it when Gabby gasped.

"What?"

"Antonio's working this gang case and it seems like he's pissed a few people off."

Gabby put her free arm around Sylvie. "Was everyone okay?"

Sylvie nodded. "We were all upstairs thankfully, but it frightened me."

"I bet."

"I told Antonio I couldn't go home tonight. I booked a hotel for me and the boys." Sylvie paused, and did her best to force a smile onto her face. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have brought it up. It's Ruby's christening, we should be celebrating, you don't need to hear about our problems." Sylvie watched Antonio. He looked distanced and troubled and knew from experience that when he was in this kind of mood it was best to give him space.

"Of course I do. Today is about family, you guys are my family. I hate seeing any of you down." She followed Sylvie's gaze to her brother. "It's not normal, you guys being in the same room and not being joined at the hip." Sylvie looked up at Gabby, who had a slight smirk on her face. "I know what you're thinking, but you're the only one who can get through to Antonio when he's like this. Go and talk to him." Gabby gave Sylvie a little nudge forward. "Go."

Out in the hall, Sylvie took Antonio's hand. "I don't want to flight" she said quietly. Antonio was reluctant to respond, but was not able to resist Sylvie's touch for long.

"I'm sorry Sylvie. I should have told you about the case, I knew those guys were after me. I never thought it would go this far."

"Antonio, I don't blame you. But I can't go home."

"I've got patrol watching the house, and Jay and Al are on the case. I can tell Voight I can't work tonight and stay at home. I wouldn't let anything happen to you or the kids, you have to believe me."

Sylvie stepped closer to Antonio. She could feel the warmth of his body and wanted nothing more than to melt into his arms and believe that she was safe. But she couldn't, there was a niggling thought at the back of her mind that something more would go wrong. "I want to believe you" she said, "but I can't help how I feel. It's not a reflection on you, I just…"

"I know." This time it was Antonio who stepped closer and he wrapped his arms around Sylvie and kissed her hair. "I know."

Later, Sylvie was sitting on the floor of the spare bedroom watching a movie on Matt's iPad, one arm around each twin, when the door slowly opened. Sylvie looked up to see Eva enter the room.

Matty took his thumb out of his mouth, a habit that Sylvie definitely meant to make him break sooner rather than later, and beamed up at his big sister. "We're watching Cars!"

"Oh yeah? You've never seen this one before have you?" She rolled her eyes. Eva had seen this film at least ten times, so goodness knows how many times the boys had seen it.

"I have!" Matty protested, the idea of sarcasm completely lost on him. Eva chuckled and settled on the floor. Gabriel extricated himself from Sylvie's embrace and silently climbed into Eva's lap, all the while keeping his eyes fixed on the screen. Eva kissed the top of his head casually.

After a minute of watching Sylvie, sure that the boys were only paying attention to the film, Eva dared to speak. "You're angry at Dad, aren't you?"

Sylvie lifted Matteo from the rug next to her and sat him on her own lap. She figured she couldn't grow that angry whilst hugging her child. "I'm not angry, not exactly."

"It seems like you are."

"It's complicated, Eva."

"Last night I was frightened too. But I trust Dad, if he says it's safe to go home I believe him." She paused, watching Sylvie carefully. "Is it the brick? Or something else?"

Sylvie stared at the movie for a moment. She didn't want to answer that. "We'll be alright, you don't need to worry about it."

Eva sighed. Her Dad and Step-Mom argued so rarely that it was unsettling.

"The race the race!" Matty bounced excitedly on Sylvie's lap, pointing at the screen and his favourite part of his favourite film. "Look mommy!"

"I see baby" she said, smiling down at him enthusiastically as she could manage. The twins seemed oblivious to this conversation and she was glad about that. Sylvie was torn, she knew she was hurting Antonio, knew that he was interpreting her refusal to go home as distrust in him, but she resolved that whatever she did, she would do in the best interest of her children. At the moment, she felt as if staying away was the right thing to do.

"I think you should go and talk to Dad. I can watch these guys."

"I'm not sure there's anything else to say." Sylvie sighed. "What are you going to do?"

"I'd planned to stay at Julia's tonight anyway, we have studying to do. I don't know about Diego. But listen, I'm not worried and I don't think you should be either. Dad will find the guys that did this, I know he will."

Sylvie found Antonio sat quietly on the sofa. In his lap Ruby was asleep.

"No fair" Sylvie said, approaching. "Using our niece as a shield. I can't be mad with this one present, she's like a calming drug, it's impossible."

Antonio looked up. "Are you comparing Ruby to a sedative?"

Sylvie laughed. "You know what I mean."

Antonio smiled down at the baby. "She's cute, isn't she?"

"Incredibly." Silently, Sylvie sat down next to Antonio and leaned into him, resting her head on his shoulder. After a minute or two, where they both just sat and watched Ruby sleeping, Sylvie spoke. "I don't want you to think I don't trust you" she said quietly, "I do."

"I know that" Antonio said, hugging Sylvie close. "I understand, I promise." He looked down at Sylvie and studied her face curiously. She was looking at Ruby with an expression he couldn't decipher. "Is there something else on your mind?" he asked, cautiously.

Everyone kept asking her that. Was she so transparent? Sylvie took a deep breath and summoned all the energy she had to smile in what she hoped was a bright and reassuring way. She didn't want to say no, that wasn't being truthful, but she only had space in her head for one thing at a time. Instead, she said "I'm just tired. I didn't get a lot of sleep last night."

"Do you want to go? I can drive you to the hotel. I promised Diego I'd drop him at Max's anyway. Your bags are in the car right?" Sylvie nodded. "Okay. Let's give this one back to her parents and say our goodbyes."

"You could stay too. There's room."

Antonio put the holdall down on the hotel room bed. Reluctantly, he shook his head. "I have to go to work. I want to find the son of a bitch who did this so you can come home."

Sylvie let go of Matteo's hand and he scampered off to join his brother who was crawling under the sofa bed in the corner, exploring. Sylvie had booked so last minute that the hotel had no cribs available, but the boys were thrilled that they were going to sleep in a 'big boy bed' and were treating this night away like a vacation.

"Be careful" she said to Antonio. "It sounds like these guys really have it in for you."

Antonio smiled his charming lop-sided smile, trying to deflect Sylvie's concern. "I can handle it."

Sylvie wasn't convinced, but she'd been married to Antonio long enough that she knew there was no changing his mind. Instead she sad "It's late, the boys should have their bath. Do you want to?"

Antonio was desperate to get to the station and begin solving the case but his family came first, always, and he wasn't going to let these jerks get in the way of spending time with his sons. "Absolutely."

After the twins had been bathed and had story time, Sylvie had sent Antonio away with a quiet goodbye kiss in the doorway of the room. She now sat on the bed in the dim light of the bedside lamp and wished she could have a glass of wine. She sighed deeply and ran her hand through her hair. This day had not turned out at all how she expected it would when she went to bed last night. What happened had pushed every other worry she had to the back of her mind. Tomorrow, when hopefully Antonio and his intelligence unit had caught the gang members responsible, she could move forward with her life.

"Gabe, blue or stripy?" Sylvie pulled the first two shirts she could find out of the bag and held them both up in front of her stubborn son. She'd overslept and was running late to drop the twins at daycare. One of Gabriel's meltdowns was the last thing she needed. She brushed her wet hair out of her face and fixed her son with a no-nonsense look.

"Dinosaurs."

Sylvie took a deep breath to keep her emotions in check. Of course he wanted one item of clothing she hadn't packed. She returned to the bag for another try. "How about lions?"

Gabriel shook his head and pouted. "Dinosaurs."

"I don't have the dinosaur shirt" she said shortly, her voice raised despite her best efforts. "We need to go. Pick one or I'll pick for you."

Gabriel looked at her blankly. He didn't understand his mother's outburst or why she was so stressed. The look of confusion on his little face made Sylvie instantly calm and then she felt guilty for raising her voice. She dropped all three items of clothing back onto the bed and put her face in her hands. Crying now would not be productive, not when she was running so late, had one baby still to dress and her hair to dry.

She felt a little pair of arms clutch onto her leg and looked down to see Gabriel hugging the one part of her body he could reach and gazing up at her. Great, she thought. Now she felt even worse for yelling at her sweet little boy who only wanted to wear his favourite t-shirt. She picked him up. "I'm sorry baby" she said, kissing his cheek. "You really do need to get dressed though."

"Blue" he said, and Sylvie kissed his forehead.

There was a knock at the door. She opened it with difficulty, trying to hold Gabe with one arm, and found the hotel's manager and Em standing in the corridor.

"Good morning Miss" he said. "I'm sorry, I would have called up but we're having some problems with the phones this morning. You have a visitor."

"Thank you" she said gratefully to him and he left. She smiled at Em with relief.

"Wow" Em said, walking into the room and closing the door behind her. "Looks like you could use some help."

"You have no idea. Thanks for the ride, we're running a bit late this morning."

Em reached out for Gabe, who was wearing only a diaper and socks. "I can see that. Right" she said, taking charge, "I'll sort these guys out, you dry your hair, and then we're going for coffee."

Sylvie had ducked into the bathroom but stuck her head out of the door. "You're a lifesaver" she said. "Listen, is it alright if we got to Starbucks on Rush, I know it's kind of out of the way but it's been a while since I've checked in." Today Sylvie wanted to focus on other people instead of herself. But she didn't say this to Em. She wasn't ready to talk.

Gabriel squirmed in Em's arms and she put him down on the bed and snatched up a t-shirt at random. "Sure."

The bell above the coffee shop door chimed as Sylvie and Em walked in. Naomi looked up from her till and grinned. "Hey" she said, "this is a surprise. What are you doing here?"

"Came to check up on you" Sylvie said with a grin.

Em smiled too. "She came to check up on you. I came for coffee."

Naomi looked at the two paramedics in their casual clothes. "You're not on shift."

"Not yet" Em said.

"What can I get you?"

"Black americano" said Em. "A large one."

"Do you have camomile tea?" Sylvie asked. Em looked across at her strangely but said nothing.

"Coming right up."

After they'd ordered, Sylvie and Em stood at the counter waiting for their drinks. The morning rush was over, and Naomi was filling out an order form as they talked. "How are your boys doing? Lottie and Jessie were pretty smitten with them when we went to the park."

"They're great" Sylvie said. She was always happy to talk about her children, no matter what mood she was in or whatever else was going on. "Just dropped them off at daycare. How are your girls?"

"Also great. Mrs Thompson down the hall is looking after them today. I don't know what I'd do without her. She doesn't even ask for any money for it, she says she just enjoys looking after children again. I need to make her dinner or something to say thank you." Naomi stopped. "First I need to learn how to cook."

"And how are you? You look great."

"I'm in a good place" Naomi said. "My boss said he might have a supervisor spot open soon. The extra money would come in handy for sure. Oh, I have something else to show you." Naomi ducked beneath the counter and pulled out a brochure for a community college and passed it to Sylvie.

"Naomi!" Sylvie said excitedly, "this is awesome."

Naomi shrugged, embarrassed. "I've not got in yet or anything. It was just a thought."

"Well, I think it's brilliant."

Walking along the street back to where Em had parked her car, they sipped their drinks from the takeout cups. "I suppose it's kinda nice" Em said, taking a sip from her cup.

"What is?"

"Seeing someone we helped doing so well afterwards." Sylvie smiled, Em quickly cut her off. "I'm not saying we should make a habit of it or anything, but yeah, it's nice."

Sylvie playfully shoved Em as if to say 'I told you so'. Em came to a halt outside a drugstore. "I just need to pick up a few things quickly" she said. "Do you mind?"

"Go ahead."

"Do you need anything?"

Yes, Sylvie thought. Yes. "No, I'll wait out here."

When they pulled up at the firehouse and Em parked across the street, Sylvie was surprised to see Antonio sitting on the hood of his car out front. Burgess was in the passenger seat eating a bagel and waved at Sylvie through the window when she approached.

"See you inside" Em said, making a tactful exit and jogging across the concrete lot.

Antonio stood up. "Hey" he said, "how are you doing?"

"I'm fine" Sylvie said, but was aware that she didn't sound fine.

"How were Matty and Gabe this morning?"

Sylvie shrugged. "Same as usual."

Antonio looked down at the ground and rocked back and forth in the way he did when he was apprehensive about something. "I'm sorry baby" he said, "I've been thinking about you all night. I should have stayed with you at the hotel. As soon as I left I knew it was a mistake."

Sylvie gently put her hands on his chest to quieten him. "It's okay. We were fine. Is there any news?"

Antonio shook his head. "Not yet."

Sylvie studied his face. His day-old stubble and the circles under his eyes worried her. "Have you had any sleep?" she asked, but knew the answer. Antonio didn't reply. "You've got to look after yourself."

"I'll sleep when we've caught these guys."

"I'm worried about you. What if they do more damage than a broken window next time? I don't know what I'd do."

"Darling, please don't worry. I'll be fine. I'm always fine." Changing the subject before Sylvie could protest any further, Antonio said "I asked my Mom if she could take the twins tonight if I'm still working, I know you're on shift until late. I hope that's okay."

"Of course. Thank you." Sylvie paused and ran her hands down Antonio's arms. He seemed to relax at her show of affection, thankful that any anger she had felt towards him the day before seemed to have evaporated. He wrapped his arms around her waist.

"I have to talk to you later" Sylvie said quietly.

Antonio looked at her. "What is it?" His brow furrowed.

"Not here. I'll call you when I finish work to see where you are." She reached up and kissed him gently on the lips. "It's nothing bad, I promise."

"Are you going back to the hotel tonight?"

Sylvie stared at the road ahead and gripped the steering wheel. "I don't know. The twins are staying with my mother-in-law so it's not so important to decide yet. Eva messaged me to ask what I was doing too. I don't know what to say." They stopped at some traffic lights but Sylvie didn't release her iron grip on the wheel.

"You're stressed" Em said, and Sylvie looked across at her with a raised eyebrow. "I mean, I know, broken window and all, but there's something else, I know it."

"I'm worried about Antonio."

"Is that all?"

"What else would it be?"

Sylvie didn't answer, Em let it go. They had just dropped a patient off at Med and were driving back to the firehouse. It was only their second patient of the shift, by now they'd usually have had five or six. Sylvie couldn't decide if she was thankful for the reduced workload or if she wished they were busier to keep her mind off everything else.

"Well, if you need to talk I'm here. You can trust me you know."

Sylvie smiled as the lights changed to green and they started moving again. "I know. Thank you."

Sylvie wanted to say something, but it wasn't fair. Not until she knew for sure, not until she had spoken to Antonio. Back at the firehouse, Sylvie shut off the ambulance's engine and climbed out, a little subdued. She leant against the side of the rig for support.

"Hey, I can clean up" Em said. "You look as though you need a rest."

Sylvie nodded. "Thank you. I think I'll go and lie down for a while."

On her bed in the bunk room, Sylvie kicked off her boots and lay down on top of the covers. She was thankful the room was empty. The squad guys were busy cleaning their rig and Truck were still out on a call. She needed a moment alone to calm herself and organise her thoughts.

Truck 81 returned from their call just as Em finished cleaning the ambulance. "You were gone a long time" she said to Casey has he hopped down from the cab.

"Yeah, it was a tricky call. Listen, where's Brett? Antonio just called me, they caught the guys who attacked their house. He said Sylvie's not picking up her phone."

"I don't think she was feeling too well. She went to lie down, she's probably asleep."

Inside, Casey was walking towards the bunk room when Severide called his name and jogged to catch up with him. "Hey man, how was yesterday? I'm sorry I couldn't be there."

A huge smile spread across Casey's face. "It was perfect. I mean, I'm not religious, but it was important to Gabby and her Mom so I went along with it, but I've got to admit it was a really beautiful service. You can still be Ruby's honorary god father."

Kelly laughed. "I'm not sure that's a great idea" he joked. "Do you really want me to be a role model for your kid?"

Casey slapped him on the back. "When you put it that way… Hey, have you seen Brett? Antonio's been trying to get hold of her."

"No, not for a while. Maybe she's sleeping."

Casey stuck his head into the bunk room but only found Cruz with his feet up reading a book. "Has Sylvie been in here?"

Joe looked up from his book. "Not since I came in."

Sylvie had tried to nap but she couldn't relax. She had felt uneasy for most of the day and couldn't shake the feeling. She had gone into the wash room to splash water on her face and had stood in front of the mirror staring at her reflection. That's when it happened. A crippling cramp gripped her stomach and she leant on the wash basin for support. Oh God, she thought, when the pain hit her again. No. Her hand slipped from the counter and she fell to the floor in agony.

Severide watched Matt walk away down the corridor and smiled. He regretted not being able to make Ruby's christening yesterday, but he had commitments at the academy that he just couldn't get out of. He was so happy for his friend, finally being a father, something Kelly knew Matt had wanted for years, ever since Hallie. Despite his joking, he wanted to be in Ruby's life and help out as much as he could. He was so lost in those thoughts when he walked into the washroom that it wasn't until Sylvie cried out that he saw her in a heap on the tiles.

"Kelly." She was clutching her stomach and had tears streaming down her face.

Severide froze, but only for a second. He rushed back to the door. "Kent! Anybody! Help!"

He went back to Sylvie who was clearly in pain, and held her against him. "It's alright" he said. But was it?

"Kelly, it hurts."

The door burst open and Em rushed in, followed by Casey and Stella. They all stopped when they saw Sylvie on the floor, breathing heavily, more in panic than anything, and digging her fingers into Kelly's arm. "Come on" she said, and Severide lifted Sylvie up and rushed out of the door.

"I can drive the ambulance" Cruz said, frantic, when everyone in the house was crowded around the rig, concerned for their colleague. "Chief, please."

Boden nodded. "Alright. I'll contact dispatch and let them know what's happening. Hurry."

The big garage doors opened and the sirens started and Cruz put his foot down and raced towards Med. In the back, Sylvie was lying on the gurney with Kent and Severide by her side. She clutched Em's hand tightly and tried to catch her breath enough to speak. "Em, I think I'm having..."

"I know" she said gently. She had been watching Sylvie all day, she had worked it out for herself. But still, she wouldn't let her colleague say it aloud. "Do you want some oxygen?"

Sylvie shook her head, but her breathing was sharp and sweat was pouring down her face. Em ignored her and put the mask around her face.

"We're nearly there" Cruz called from the driver's seat. "Lieutenant, how is she?"

Kelly didn't answer. He'd worked out for himself what was going on. He wasn't a doctor, but it didn't look good. "Just get us there, Cruz."

After it was over, Sylvie was alone in a quiet treatment room with the blinds drawn. She sat on the bed hugging her knees to her chest, her face buried in her gown. She felt drained and empty. When she heard someone enter the room, she barely had the energy to look up.

"Is Antonio here?" she asked Maggie, as the nurse quietly closed the door behind her.

"Not yet, he's coming." Sylvie took a deep breath and lay back on the bed. Maggie came up beside her and lay a hand on her shoulder. "I'm sorry Sylvie."

Sylvie didn't move, or say anything. What was there to say?

"Did you know you were pregnant?"

Another tear slid down Sylvie's cheek. She didn't think she had anymore left. She was dehydrated, the saline drip in her arm was replacing her fluids, but she thought that the minute her husband arrived her tears would fall again faster than they could be replaced.

"I thought I might be. I was going to take a test tonight."

The door burst open and Antonio rushed in. He looked frantic, a mess. "Sylvie, sweetheart." He was by her side in an instant and Sylvie collapsed into him, her tears starting afresh. She hoped someone had told Antonio what had happened, Sylvie didn't think she had it in her to explain. Antonio hugged her tight. Sylvie could feel his heart pounding in his chest, the adrenaline that had got him here in such a hurry had not yet subsided. Sylvie found it comforting, and concentrated only on his heartbeat against her ear.

Maggie had already left the room, giving them space, but neither of them noticed her leave. When Sylvie looked up, they were alone. Antonio wiped the tears from Sylvie's cheeks with both hands. "I don't know what to say. Is this what you wanted to talk about?"

Sylvie nodded sadly. "I didn't know for sure. I wanted us to find out together."

Antonio stroked her hair, her back, her cheek. Every part of her that he could reach. It was a futile attempt to bring her comfort, he didn't believe for a second it would do any good, but Sylvie seemed to visibly relax at his touch. "All this stress I've put you under" Antonio said, his words stumbling over each other. "I'm so so sorry."

"No, Antonio, don't do that. It's not your fault. I asked about that, the doctor said that wasn't the cause. It just happens sometimes, that's all. It just happened." Sylvie's voice grew small and strained, and she leaned on Antonio and sighed heavily. "It was only half an idea for one day, but I was so happy." She looked up. "I'm sorry I gave you a hard time about the house."

Antonio squeezed his wife tight. He never wanted to let her go. "You didn't. Anyway, that doesn't matter anymore. We caught the guys who did it, it's over."

Sylvie began to cry again. Hearing the word 'over', even in relation to something else, hit her. It was so irrefutable, so final. "We lost our baby, Antonio."

"I know we did."

Sylvie felt numb, heartbroken and completely exhausted. But even in her grief, in Antonio's arms she didn't feel total despair. As long as she had him she knew that things would get better.

"Please take me home."

I'm sorry to do that to you guys, I feel guilty already. Please forgive me? Thank you for all of your feedback and reviews so far. Thank you for sticking with me and my little story. The chapters may come sporadically but I have so many ideas, I'm going to keep writing this for a while yet.