A/N: I lied. I have another part being prepared. I had to split this up XD

Entry #5

DUTCH DOESN'T LIKE PEAS! I TRIED TO GIVE HIM SOME AND HE SPIT THEM OUT!

This is going to be a very long childhood if Dutch isn't going to cooperate with these peas.

Luckily for me, the Capitol's finally backed off! THIS IS GREAT! I can finally have some peace with my child, and thank God. I haven't even gotten a call from President Augustus since Dutch was born. I know this will never last, especially when Dutch gets of the training age and everyone anxiously awaits him going into the Arena. God, I need to try to save him from this, and I don't quite know how: yet.

Oh well. I have at least 12 years, probably more, to figure it out. And I've gotten quite good at manipulating Capitolites, too, which always comes in handy. If only President Augustus was as easy to trick.

I already can tell that parenting is going to have its ups and downs. On the happy side, Dutch is a very chatty little guy. He's always babbling something happy in baby language that I never understand and he likes to wave his arms at me from across the room to symbolize that he wants me to pick him up. I never thought any creature would trust me this much, but I'll admit that having Dutch around has already done wonders for my overall disposition.

But then he wakes me up at two in the morning, crying and needing changed, sometimes being hungry but already being exhausted and soon falling back asleep. I'm not a morning person at all, and if I had my way, I'd sleep until at least ten every day. But Dutch is quickly changing that, because being a father includes many sleepless nights tending to him. And I obviously can't be mad at him. He doesn't know what he's doing, he's only a little baby.

And, I'll admit, I still feel fuzzy inside every time I'm finally able to put him asleep. But I think I would much rather be sleeping.

So now I have all these jars of peas and nobody to eat them. I certainly don't like peas, and apparently Dutch doesn't, either. I suppose I could donate them. Maybe I could send them to Dill's old family in 12, who seems to really need them. They've lost two to the Games so far, but I think only 2.

Oh, he's awake from his nap. I'll write again soon!

Platinum's POV

It's been a couple months since my last entry, and yes, I did manage to get rid of all the peas to various homeless people on the streets and sending them abroad. Dutch is now nine months old and he's become quite the nosy little thing.

By now, Dutch is starting to talk with actual letter sounds. I'm currently working on "Dada" because I want his first word to be Dada, just like any proud Dad would. Not like he has any other parent that I have to compete with.

He's sleeping and I'm currently sitting in the rocking chair in the nursery, reading District 1's magazine. Ever since they got another Victor, the pressure has been taken off of me.

Suddenly I hear a happy, "GAH!" come from the crib and a smile spreads across my face.

"Hi Dutchy!" I say, looking over to him. He's pulled himself up to a standing position using the bars of his crib and he smiles proudly at me, before letting out another happy squeal and saying, "TAAA!" and giggling.

"Wow, look who can stand all by himself!" I admire. He smiles and says, "GAA!"

I walk over to the crib and he waves one arm up to me. I smile and pick him up, spinning him around, "Look who can stand all by himself!" I say again. I think I'm more excited about this than he is. He giggles and holds on to my neck as I walk back out to the family room. Suddenly, the phone rings. Dutch used to burst into tears upon hearing the noise, but now he just looks curious. I pick up the phone and hold it to my ear with my shoulder. Suddenly the smile fades from my face. It's Augustus, here to pick on me…

"Hello?" I finally ask.

"Platinum?"

The grin comes back and I boop Dutch's nose affectionately. "Walt! Oh my God, it's been forever!"

"Sure feels like it, doesn't it?" We used to talk on the phone a lot when Dutch was only 2 or 3 months old, but I haven't gotten a call from my old friend in a long while.

"Sure does! I've been so busy being a father I've forgotten about everything but Dutch! But how've you been!?"

"We've been alright! But wow, Dutch is getting old, isn't he? Surely you've had more fun parenting than we've had interviewing!"

"At least you're not awakened every night at 2," I remind him as a joke. Walt laughs, and it's a happy thing for me to hear.

Dutch puts his fingers in his mouth, confused. I laugh, "You've confused him," I tell Walt.

"Have I?" he asks, "Aw!"

I laugh, "Yeah! But he looks intrigued so I guess your voice is interesting to him."

"Of course it is!" he teases, then he coos, "Hi Dutch!"

The baby looks confused but smiles around the fingers in his mouth.

"He looks happy."

"How is he?"

"He's talking in actual letter sounds! And he can stand up on his own with the help of his crib, and he can sit! He's crawling around like there's no tomorrow, and sometimes he's more entertained by a bowl and a plastic ball than any of the toys in the nursery."

Walt laughs, "Aw, babies. Maybe Jericho and I will make a surprise visit."

"Yeah! I think he'd like to meet you in person!" I say with a grin.

"If we can, that is. So many new stories with so many people. I've barely even had time to call!"

"Well, if you can, I guess."

Suddenly Dutch's lower lip trembles.

"Gotta go. I think Dutch is going to need chang-" he bursts into tears. "Changed," I finish.

"I'll talk to you later!" Walt says over Dutch, and then he hangs up and I take Dutch to the changing room. I hum to him as I change his diaper, another one of those things I could really do without when it comes to being a parent. Soon, I have him all clean again and I pick him up again.

"All happy?"

"HA!" he says with a smile. Yes, I think he is.

"I think it's dinner time, don't you?" I ask.

"HA!" he says again, with a squeal of pleasure.

I carry him to the kitchen and set him down in a high chair. Then I get out the mashed carrots I'd made earlier for him to try. "Ready for some carrots, Dutch?"

He doesn't understand and pounds on the table part of his little high chair and smiles. I hold the carrots up to his mouth and he willingly lets me put them in. He's already spit peas on me, so I wait for him to react to the new food.

To my relief, he eats the carrots and he likes the carrots. He opens his mouth for more and I gladly feed him some more. Dutch eats until he's full then claps his hands with a happy squeal, after which he waves his arms to me. I pick him up out of his high chair and pat his mouth with his bib before taking it off of him. Then he looks up at me and says, "Dada!"

YES! THIS IS THE MOMENT I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR!

"Dada!? DADA!" I say with a laugh. He giggles, "Dada!"

I spin him around happily and the baby makes a gurgling noise.

Oh yeah. Maybe I should burp him before I start celebrating.

Later, when I put Dutch to bed, I'm still thinking about him calling me Dada.

Yes, this one of those times that I'm happy to be a Dad.

Now, Dutch is two years old and he's walking and talking in real words, for the most part. He toddles around happily and loves to play.

The phone rings one day and spooks him, but soon he goes back to his game and I pick up the phone.

"Hello?"

I hear sobbing on the other side and sigh. "Paradise. Long time, no talk."

"FUCKTARD!"

"I actually wanted to talk to you," I say playfully, "I'm glad you gave me Dutch. I love him more than I think I've ever loved anyone or anything. Being a single Dad is fun, especially of a baby."

"WELL YOU'RE GETTING ANOTHER ONE!"

I take a second to keep myself from swearing in front of Dutch. "You're pregnant again!?"

"LEARN TO HEAR FUCKTARD! YEAH I AM!"

"Whose is it this time?" I ask. Last time, his father was someone I knew from school.

She pauses, then sobs, "I DON'T KNOW!"

"How many guys do you fuck a day!?" I ask her.

"Fuck!" Dutch says from across the room.

"Shit," I mutter. So much for not swearing.

"Shit!" Dutch says happily.

"No!"

"No fuck! No shit!" Dutch says.

"No Dutch!" I say desperately.

Paradise sounds slightly smug through her tears, "Ha. Good luck with that one, brother. And you're taking this kid, too, by the way."

Then she hangs up.

I don't even object. In fact, I feel excited this time.

"No fuck!" the toddler says, standing up and toddling over to me.

My eyes get wide and I pick him up. "No, Dutch! No no no no! Bad word, Dutch!"

He looks inquisitive. "Shit," he says.

"No Dutch! I get out a book and open it to the first page. "Look Dutch, an apple!"

"Appa," he repeats. I breathe a sigh of relief. Hopefully he's forgotten about those two additions to his vocabulary.

Suddenly there's a knock on the door. I pick up Dutch and answer it, and on the other side are Walt and Jericho.

I'm caught off guard, "Walt! And Jericho!"

"Hi!" Walt says, taking me into a one-armed hug.

"And hi Dutch!" Walt coos. Dutch giggles but his attention is soon taken by the other boy. I hand the toddler to Walt and say, "Dutchy, this is Walt."

"Unca Walt!" he says.

I smile and say, "Yeah!"

The two Capitolites come inside and shut the door. Dutch doesn't look content in Walt's arms and soon waves his arms to Jericho, instead.

"I think he wants you, Jericho," I tell him. The younger boy looks shocked but Walt hands him the child and Dutch squeals happily. "Me Dutch!" he says. "Yeah?" the boy asks, adjusting the purple hat on his hair, "I'm Jericho."

Dutch squeals happily, "Jerry-cho!"

"He likes you!" I tell him. A smile spreads across the younger boy's face. I crash on a couch and Walt sits next to me. Jericho sits across from us with Dutch on his lap.

"Be careful with him, Jericho!" Walt says.

"He's doing just fine!" I smile over to where Jericho tickles Dutch and the little boy giggles and squeals happily. Jericho looks amazed by this. "Wow… He really likes me!"

Dutch looks up at him and giggles, "Jerry-cho!"

"Yeah, that's right!" the boy in purple says. Walt slides an arm around my shoulders and I smile over at him before turning my attention back to Jericho and Dutch.

The older boy takes Dutch by the hands and helps him to a gentle standing position on his lap. Dutch holds on to his hands, soon realizing that he can't balance well on Jericho's legs, and turns to face the Capitol boy. Jericho smiles and holds Dutch still. "Hat!" Dutch says proudly and Jericho laughs.

"Yeah! That's a hat, isn't it? Hats go on your head, you know?"

Dutch smiles in response. Jericho lets go of him and scoops him up before Dutch can fall. The baby giggles. "Whee!" Jericho grins.

"He hasn't been this happy in a long while," Walt whispers, taking my arm and laying his head on my shoulder.

"He hasn't? That's too bad." I let him snuggle against me.

Dutch squeals happily and giggles at Jericho holding him.

"You're just precious, aren't you!?" he asks, to which Dutch says, "Me precious!"

"Paradise is pregnant again," I remember out loud.

"She is!?" Walt asks, not moving from my shoulder.

"Yeah. She doesn't know who the father is this time, though."

"That's too bad," Walt says.

"I'm actually excited this time," I tell them, "I'm not complaining."

"I'm glad," Jericho says, "Real glad." I feel like the younger boy's gained a lot of independence from the last time I'd seen him.

"Me too. I guess we'll get to visit you again soon, then, won't we?"

"If the new one's as good as this one, I think you'll be just fine," Jericho says with a smile. Dutch is asleep in the younger boy's arms.

"Yeah? Me too."

"Hey Dutchy," I say, picking him up and putting him on my knee.

"Hi Daddy!" he says.

"Guess what?"

"Wha!?"

"You're going to be a big brother, Dutchy!" I tell him.

"Big bubba?" he asks.

"Yeah," I smile. "Your Mommy Paradise is going to have another baby."

"Baby?" he asks. I don't know if he gets it.

"Yeah," I say, "There's going to be a baby in the house! And you're going to be a big brother to the baby."

"Me!?" he asks.

I laugh, "Yeah! What do you think?"

He puts his hands in his mouth and says, "Me big bubba!"

I laugh and pick him up and say, "Yeah!"

He giggles. I pick him up and take a story to read to him for bedtime.

I sit in the waiting room. The house is prepared for yet another child and everything at home is ready. Dutch is prepared for him, and I've made sure of it. He sits in the waiting room and says, "Baby come out, Daddy?"

"He's coming, Dutchy," I say, ruffling his hair. Dutch smiles, falling asleep in one of the chairs. I smile down at him, then look up when someone else walks into the room. It's Walt.

But the tall, slender Capitolite doesn't look like himself.

"Hey," I greet. He gives me a small wave in response. Then I realize that something's missing.

"Where's Jericho?" I ask, upon seeing the tripod Walt is carrying. He looks up slowly. "Gone," he says.

"What!?" I stand up, alarmed.

Walt just looks hurt. "He's gone. He seemed just fine. He went upstairs to his room and I found him hanging from the ceiling."

The tears bubble out of my eyes and I can only choke out one word. "Why!?"

Tears lace Walt's voice, "I wish I could tell you I knew…" He throws his arms around me and I hug him back. "I'm sorry," I choke out, through tears. He cries silently into my neck and we stay like that for a long time. "He was too young… Too loved… Too-"

"I've been telling myself this. I've punished myself enough… I just want this all to be some bad dream that I can wake up and run to his room and tell him how badly I don't want to lose him!"

"Punished?" I ask, taking his arms and rolling up the sleeves of his shirt. "Blank," I mutter to myself.

"I know. I remember seeing them on you and I knew you'd check."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean!?"

"Whatever you want it to."

I think about it, and my fingers instinctively go across a scar on my abdomen.

Then I put two and two together and roll up his shirt. There are the cuts. And they're nasty, too. All I can do is stare in shock.

"W-Walt…" I stammer, "H-How could you do that? E-even after you saw mine?"

"I had to," he says quietly. "Th-there's no other way-"

I hug him tightly and say, "Sh. Don't think about it now. You're Ok now."

"Y-You're always there for me," he says quietly, "I need some more people like you in my life."

"We'll always be friends-" the sentence is cut off by him kissing me. My eyes widen in shock and I do as I've been taught by my clients at the Capitol: I kiss him back. The kiss lasts a long time before he pulls back and looks shocked himself. "I'm…I'm sorry. Very unprofessional of me."

"D-Don't worry about it."

He and I hold eye contact for a long time after that, though. Finally, I sigh. "You know this is never going to be a thing, right? This never can be a thing, or else Paradise will make me give up the kids. And, I can say that I definitely have some weird kind of feelings for you but they have to be my top priority right now. I promised."

I'm not sure exactly what feelings I have for him. There might be a little puppy crush in there, but I feel like it's mostly just friends.

"I…I understand. Believe me, I do…"

"D… Do we have to do an interview?"

"No," he says quickly. "I can make up an excuse to our producer. He'll never know."

I nod sadly. I sit and he sits next to me, but he doesn't take my arm this time. I take Dutch and hold him in my lap, silently hoping he doesn't wake up and ask about Jericho.

Suddenly, a Doctor enters. "Uh, Mr. Krietzer? Your nephew and sister are ready for you."

I take Dutch and walk out of the room with him in my arms, to my sister's hospital room.

"You look upset," she remarks.

"I am," I tell her.

"Well, you'll be happy to know this. As a thanks to you for keeping my first snotty offspring, I've decided to let you pick the middle name for this one."

"What's his first name?" I ask.

"Osmium," she says quietly, blacking out again, "His name is Osmium."

Osmium. I think I like it.

Dutch wakes up and he says, "Daddy, where are we?"

"Your new baby brother was just born," I say.

"He was!?"

"Yeah. His name is Osmium."

"Osmum," he says. I laugh, "Close enough!"

He smiles at me.

I have to think of a middle name for this child, now.

Nate's middle name was Liam.

He told me once that Elijah's was Daniel, and that Brandt's was Alexander.

I never got to know Drake's middle name, but I could always use his first.

But those three are just so hard for me to think about. I don't want to name him after them only because I'm afraid I would be haunted forever. But I think there is one I could stand…

Osmium Jericho Krietzer.

Not bad.

I think I like it, in fact.

A nurse appears just then with a tired smile. "Platinum and Dutch? Osmium is ready for you."

I get up eagerly to where she holds the wad of blankets, and she puts the baby in my arms. Osmium is sleeping soundly. Then she gives me a nod and exits the room.

"Hey Dutchy," I whisper, "Do you want to see your new baby brother?"

I sit in a chair and Dutch sits next to me. He looks down at the baby in my arms and says, "He small, Daddy."

I smile, "You're right. He is really small. But he's going to grow and grow just like you and soon he'll be talking and walking, just like you."

"He no play?" Dutch asks.

"He can't play with you yet," I tell Dutch. "He's too little. In fact, he's going to spend a lot of time sleeping and crying. But that's what babies do."

"Why?"

I think about this. "Well, babies are so new that they need to learn how to move around. Babies cry sometimes to tell you that they need you. You know, you used to be a baby, too."

"Me baby!?"

"You were," I tell him, leaving out the fact that I think he still is. "But you grew and learned how to explore and now you're a big two-year-old."

Dutch squeals happily and I think he's satisfied with my answers to his questions. Upon hearing the noise, Osmium opens his eyes.

"Look Dutchy," I whisper, pulling his attention back to the baby, "Osmium's awake now."

"Ossy!" says Dutch, and I whisper, "You have to be very quiet, Dutchy. Can you do that for Ossy?"

He smiles and nods. I ruffle his hair affectionately before turning my attention back to Osmium. "Hi Osmium," I whisper to him. He blinks his huge eyes at me and examines me. His eyes are a dark navy color, specked with some lighter blues and a little gold. It's not the immediate smile I got from Dutch, which is a little worrying to me.

I whisper to the baby, "Look, Os. This is your big brother Dutch. He's going to take good care of you." I adjust the baby so that he can see Dutch. The toddler looks down at Os and his hair hangs down, tickling the baby's face. Osmium closes his eyes but a smile quickly spreads across his face. Dutch looks up at me, eyes filled with pleasure and wonder. He whispers, "He smile, Dad!"

"That's right, Dutchy," I smile, "You made him smile. He likes you already."

Dutch grins, sitting back down next to me but not taking his eyes off of Osmium.

Osmium smiles up at me now, too, and I affectionately tickle him under the chin. His smile widens but he doesn't make noise like Dutch did.

"Hey Dutch," I whisper, helping Osmium free his arms. "Why don't you take one of Ossy's hands? Be careful, though." Dutch takes the baby's right hand and I take his left. "When you were a baby," I whisper to Dutch, "I took your little hand and I made you a promise that I'd be a good dad. Why don't we promise some things to Os, too?" Dutch nods.

I start. "Osmium, I'm so glad that you're finally here with us. I'm sorry we don't know who your father is. Dutchy and I love you so much already. Can you tell Osmium you love him, Dutch?"

"I love you, Ossy," he says in a normal voice. The baby doesn't seem to mind this, though, so I don't bother to tell him to be quiet.

I smile. "I promise that I'm going to try and be the best dad ever, just like I did for Dutch. I promise that I'll love you no matter what you do, and no matter who you become. I promise I'll protect you as best as I can, and I promise that I'll never abandon you. Both of us love you for the Osmium you are, and the Osmium that you will become. Will you promise that to him, Dutch?"

"I'll love Ossy always," he says.

Osmium smiles and looks between Dutch and myself, slowly and awkwardly flailing his little arms and yawning.

"I think Osmium wants to go back to sleep," I tell Dutch, "Why don't you give him a kiss goodnight?"

Dutch smiles and kisses his brother's head. "Night, Ossy," he says. I stand up with the baby in my arms and kiss his nose. "Sleep tight, Osmium. I can't wait for you to come to the house."

When the nurse takes the sleeping baby back, I sweep Dutch off his feet and spin him around, "You're such a good big brother!" he giggles and wraps his arms around his neck. "When Ossy come back?"

"Soon," I promise him, "Not today, but soon. Come on, buddy, we can go home and get some ice cream to celebrate!" He giggles and snuggles affectionately into my neck as I carry him out of the hospital.