Destiny - Heart of a Baker, Soul of a Hunter

by SalaciousNothings

Peeta Mellark, the baker's son saved Katniss Everdeen's life at the age of eleven when he threw the burnt bread one rainy day. She never thanked him let alone acknowledged his existence. She hated owing him but knew there would come a day when she would repay him. Little did she realize that her life was bound to his forever. It was inevitable. AU HG, OOC Everlark

62. Chapter 62 - Destiny 2: The Baker

Chapter 62 – Destiny 2: The Baker

AN: Thank you for your patience. This is the last chapter for this story. For a moment I thought I wasn't able to post this before the end of the year as I promised. But here it is.

Words cannot express my gratitude for those who everyone who had reviewed, commented, pm'd, alerted and favored Destiny. You know who you are. For now I want to thank the following for leaving a review for the last chapter: Tea4e, LACR, pumpkinking5, baldcolder, TwinK21 and guest. This chapter contains Peeta's POV and is rated R for strong language. THG belongs to Suzanne Collins. All mistakes are mine. And for the last time, on with the show:

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Epilogue

Peeta POV ––

I sat up from my bed, sweat pooling on my chest making my T-shirt sticky as it clung to my skin. It was hard to breath even as air passed through my mouth, panting heavily. My throat was dry, gritty like I swallowed sand. I could hear the beating of my heart in my ears–the cadence hard and loud. I reached for Katniss. She wasn't there. I shouldn't be disappointed since I knew that her Mom wouldn't allow us to sleep together, but after having her in my bed for nearly two weeks, it was difficult to sleep without her. The comfort of knowing she was there not only to seek out after a nightmare but to comfort her as well.

The air around me was cold but despite the temperature I still had my windows open. After years of living above a hot bakery, I never could break the habit of shutting my window close in my bedroom. It drove Rye nuts especially during the winter season. I fondly thought of our arguments and the game we played with him shutting it closed as I opened it in the course of the evening as we slept. I miss him, I miss all my family especially Graham. I wondered how they were doing now that I had the peace of mind to think about them. During the training, I couldn't focus and worry about them. I really thought I would never see them again as I bade my farewell after the reaping. I was resolved to die in the arena ensuring that Katniss would go home as a victor.

I was bit jealous when Katniss reunited with Prim and her Mom. Watching them together made me miss Dad and Rye that I couldn't help but feel a bit resentful that they weren't there to meet me. But after seeing Katniss, the sheer joy and relief on her face diminished any bitterness I felt. She was so happy, how could I deny her of that?

After a few minutes of calming my racing heart and evening out my breathing, I decided to get a cup of water to quench my dry throat. "Shit," I squawked as my feet landed on the icy wooden floor. Hopping from one foot to another I reached my tiny kitchen, opened an upper cupboard and removed tin cup from a shelf. I was one of the few residents that had a small kitchenette and bathroom complete with a shower and running toilet––the few perks of being a tribute and the status from escaping the arena. It also helped that I was the boyfriend of the Mockingjay's daughter.

Hopping back to my room, I changed into another clean t-shirt. This was one was black––a color I never considered wearing. It was difficult to go to back to sleep after my nightmare so I sat up on bed. With my arms wrapped around knees I looked out my window. The moon was visible casting an eerie glow. It was quiet, a few sounds permeated the air, the constant chirring of crickets and owl hooting the whirring gush of wind and the low buzzing hum from the electrical fence that surrounded the base camp. This fence was to keep predators out as opposite to District 12, where the fence was installed to keep us in, trapping us.

I reflected on the weeks that passed. Heck, I thought of everything that had happened since…my volunteering in the lottery. I missed the simplicity of working in the bakery and not being the focus of President Snow's attention. So much of which to think about, all the people I met, my time in the Capitol and finally making love to Katniss. Did my fate led me to all this in order to get the girl I wanted since I was five? I was far from home and family, missing Dad, Rye, Delly and Tyler.

Did I have to lose my brother, Graham? Did the District have to suffer so much loss and tragedy? All these events lead to Katniss and I as tributes. How much lives were lost in order to free us and destroying the Hunger Games?

Realizing that I wasn't able to go back to sleep, I slipped on a jacket and shoes.

It was past half three. Another hour and half and I would be up preparing for morning meal. It had only been day three and the mundane routine made me anxious and soothed me at the same time. I was born a baker so rising early was not an ordeal but the fact that I wasn't home in 12 that made me anxious. We were on constant alert for drones or peacekeepers. The tension in the air was palpable making me realize we were not safe and still in danger from the Capitol. I didn't feel safe no matter how the camp was fortified and secured with people to protect us. I was stuck in a compound with Mockingjay's army. We were at war. The revolution had begun with one single act, the catalyst that started the fight against Snow––the destruction of the Cornucopia and the Hunger Games. It was not just an act of defiance but also an act of treason against Panem, against Snow.

Katniss and I were still targets, subjects to be hunted down. There was a reward for our capture, a bounty on our heads. The reward was enough to turn friend or ally into a traitor. It was enough to live comfortably and in one lifetime. How could I trust anyone?

The camp was dark but I found myself underneath Katniss's tree house. The window to her room was dark with black out curtains closed. It was a rule that all electricity to be shut at that specific hour. I sighed, and thought about Katniss. Was she sleeping? Did she miss me? The few hours we spent together during the day weren't enough for me. I needed her. Did she need me?

I walked around for few minutes dodging soldiers as they patrolled the premises. It almost felt like home reminding me of times I snuck out of the bakery and 'visited' Mr. Abernathy's home, but this time there was no place to go to, nowhere to paint or hide. Suddenly, I felt a wave of homesickness––missing the bakery as well as the people I had grew up with. I longed for the days before my incident with Ivan and Cray but then realized I wouldn't be with Katniss. There were many things I wished I could change or have done differently. My 'courtship' with Katniss was not one of them I wouldn't change a thing.

"Hm…" I said to myself. I really didn't court Katniss properly. Not the way she deserved. I knew Katniss was not the kind of girl who wanted hearts and flowers. She was someone who appreciated things that had meaning and purpose, not flowery words and romantic gestures. For example, she rather preferred a vegetable garden to a handful of flowers as a gift. She'd prefer a new set of clothes for Prim instead of herself. My Katniss was kind and selfless sacrificing her own happiness for Prim. Despite her dislike of sappy acts of devotion, I'd give her both––romantic and practical. There was nothing I'd do for her because she deserved it.

I sighed again, hoping that Katniss slept peacefully. I thought of sneaking into her room even though I knew Prim was her roommate. But I recalled the promise I made to her mother the day she was reunited with her family.

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Flashback ––

I lowered my aching body as I sat on my bed. The frames on the bed creaked as my weight pressed on the mattress. It was the size of a twin with a white fitted sheet, pillow and linen blanket that felt rough on my skin. After sleeping in the tree for the past few days, I didn't care as long it was an actual mattress I would be sleeping on. It was a welcome relief from sleeping upright with Katniss wedged between my legs and tied up to the tree. I didn't have the heart to tell her that I had a bruise the size of a ball on the base of spine and my tailbone ached. Her comfort mattered to me.

After a quick debriefing from the commanding officer of the base, two rebel soldiers led me to my assigned new quarters. A room built three stories high on a tree. I was amazed and impressed with the structure. There were several homes built on trees connected with a rope bridge from one to other. My home was bridged to Katniss's residence making it easy for me to go to her house within minutes. Hers was the largest with two rooms, a kitchen and bathroom with running water and electricity. Mine, a single room with a kitchenette and bathroom as well.

During the debriefing, Shane and Maddy reported to the commander of any information they gleaned during their capture while Katniss inquired about her father. 'Where was he?' was my first thought. 'Was he off to another mission and which district?' was next. All questions I inquired but went unanswered.

"Mockingjay's whereabouts are on a need to know basis," Eisenman answered. "And it is in your best interest to not know for your safety."

"He's my father. I have the right to know where he is," Katniss debated. She was losing patience. I could tell. Her brows were furrowed and her eyes narrowed as she directed her attention at the man a foot taller and 50 pound heavier than her. Eisenman was an imposing figure with bulky muscles and a menacing disposition.

"Young lady, at this camp, he is the Mockingjay and should be addressed so," he reprimanded Katniss. "He is the leader of this rebellion. Give him the respect that is due to him. I will not be telling you of his whereabouts." His voice was hard and stern.

"I don't think you have the right to talk to me daughter that way," her mother challenged. "Garrett, is your commander and leader, but he is my husband and father to my girls."

"Pardon me, ma'am, but as the highest ranking––"

"I can care less of your rank. I am here to help and aid the sick and injured. Volunteered my time and experience. Just like my daughter, Prim. I am not in our army so you should not speak to me in that tone." As she stood toe to toe with Eisenman and I could see where Katniss got her stubbornness and strength in character. She took after her mother. How else did she break convention as she fell in love with a Seam miner and defied family and friends for the man she married?

"We are done here," he dismissed us. Katniss took affront to his behavior toward us. She took a step forward.

I grabbed Katniss's hand to calm her as she took stood her ground. I hoped she didn't perceive it as me trying to stop her, but a gesture of support. I sent her a smile. Katniss just wanted to know where her father was? It was a simple question. Prim looked scared as she stepped behind her sister grabbing her elbow. She wore the rebel uniform just like her Mom complete with white armband and a red cross stitched on it. I guess it was all they had to wear and it made it easy to recognize the medics and healers amongst the rebel soldiers. But she too held her ground. The Everdeen women were a force of nature not to be reckoned with. I knew better but Commander Eisenman did not. I felt sorry for him.

"Commander Eisenman, I am not here to disrupt the camp,' Katniss started. "I give respect due to your rank but as the daughter of the Mockingjay, I expect the same courtesy and that applies to my family and Peeta Mellark." Eisenman scoffed as he eyed me from head to toe. "You do realize who he is and what he means to Mockingjay?" Eisenman's his eyes were wary but I could tell the cogs in his head were spinning.

"All I want to know is where is my father, I'm not asking you to reveal what his mission is or what he is doing as in the capacity of his role as the Mockingjay."

"I wouldn't argue with them if I were you," I told him. "She wants answers. It's a simple question." Eisenman sighed as he was clearly frustrated and angry.

"I need to know where my husband––"

"All right, all right already," he spat. "Mockingjay is on his way to District 12." We all gasped. Scenarios ran through my mind. District 12, our home. "And before you even ask why, I cannot divulge anymore. You wanted to know where is he and I told you."

"But––" Katniss began.

"No, no more questions. Leave before I throw all of you in a cell," he said as he turned around and addressed one of his soldiers. "Take Mellark to his assigned quarters."

And that was that. I didn't realized how exhausted I was when I felt my body relax and my eyes drooped. Suddenly, there was soft knock on my door. I leaped hoping it was Katniss visiting me, but to my surprise I gasped as another Everdeen hovered at my door.

"Mrs. Everdeen?"

"Peeta, I don't mean to interrupt or disturb you, but…" She turned her head towards her residence. "Could I speak to you for a few minutes?" I nodded my head, mute and curious as to why she needed to speak to me. I could tell it had something to do with Katniss. Why else would she appear at my door?

"Would like something to drink?" I asked as I walked over to my small icebox. I wasn't familiar with my kitchen since I just arrived at my new home. I went straight to my bedroom and dropped my backpack on the floor as soon as I arrived. She shook her head, her delicate hand clasped in front of her and eyes soft. I gestured to a sofa in my tiny living space as I sat across her. "Is something wrong, is Katniss…Prim––"

"Oh, no sorry Peeta," she began. "I didn't mean to alarm you. I just needed to speak to you for a few minutes and talk about Katniss." Suddenly, an ache formed in my chest and throat. Here I was seated across my girlfriend's mother. She didn't look angry but she didn't appear happy either.

"I had hoped to have spoken to you sooner but you…volunteered for the games and I didn't think that…" I knew what she meant as she didn't complete her sentence. She never expected me to survive the arena. "I underestimated you, a lot of us did. But I was happy to be proven wrong." She sent me an apologetic smile. I didn't take any offense. In truth, I never expected to survive either.

Her shoulders were slumped and head downward. "For a long time I expected Katniss to settle down with Gale. They had known each other for a while. They were each other's best friends…" Her voice faded in my head. This was it. She didn't want me to see Katniss anymore. Even though she had thanked me earlier for saving and protecting Katniss it didn't mean she approved of me. I'm a danger to her eldest daughter. Before in District 12, I was…harmless, a baker's son who had a massive crush on Katniss. Now, with my relationship with her, I had put her in danger and she became a target. Sweat poured down my neck, my head spun. I felt like I was underwater, trying to rise to the surface but was pulled back from the pull and ebb of the water. No matter what I tried, I was forced under.

"Katniss has always been fiercely independent, long before I…" 'You abandoned her and Prim.' I almost voiced. "As she grew older she hasn't confided in me…I don't blame her. I've…haven't much of a mother these past few years."

'What was she leading to?'

"But I knew with Gale, she would be cared for, loved. And despite his temper and hers, they were suited for each other. So I encouraged him to pursue her."

I flinched. Gale Hawthorne, the thorn in my side. The guy who made frequent visits to the Slagheap. Then boasted about his conquest to anyone around his proximity.

'How could she want that vile asshole for Katniss?' To chose Gale for a husband for her eldest daughter? Did she not know of his reputation?

She may have approved of me but Katniss deserved better if not me? "But like me, Katniss is strong willed and stubborn. I expected her to fall in love with a Seam boy like I did." She smiled, like she was remembering what it was like to fall in love with Mr. Everdeen. "I could of had an easier life had I chosen…" She paused. "Anyway, there is nothing in this world that can change Katniss's mind, for falling for a Merchant boy. The baker's son no less. I just didn't want her to…have the life I had when I chose her father." She didn't want a life of love and happiness but to settle for convenience for Katniss? Marrying out of your social circle was hard, but wasn't it better than a life of resentment and bitterness? A marriage like my parents came to mind.

"Did you regret it?" I challenged her. I knew the answer. It was obvious to anyone that she loved Garrett Everdeen, deeply.

"Never. Not even for second nor have I doubted my decision." I wanted to thank her because Katniss would not have existed. Where would I be or rather who would I have become? Would I have existed if she married my Dad?

"So keeping in mind what it's like to be in love at your age," she began. "I know there is nothing in this world that can keep Katniss away from you. But I'm her Mom."

'Oh, boy.' Now I understood why she needed to speak to me alone. It was a conversation I had expected from Mr. Everdeen.

But she surprised me as she reached into a small pouch attached to her belt. I hadn't noticed it before. "I also know my daughter. How mortified she would be had I talked to her…and since my relationship with her right is…tenuous. I thought to approach you instead. And she is already upset with me because I wont' let her sleep in your bed. I know she has nightmares"

Great, Mrs. Everdeen was putting in a spot. "I drew the line of both of you sharing a bed together. You love each other and I respect that, but Katniss is still young." I almost snorted. Katniss was nineteen years old now. The age when most girls Seam and Merchant were either engaged or already married. "And you are not married."

I opened my mouth then shut it. "I don't know nor would I want to know if you have started having sex yet. Back in the Capitol you may have found an opportunity…" She shook her head. "Anyway, like I said Katniss and yourself for that matter, you both are too young to be having a child. And it's not ideal right now for Katniss to become pregnant." I gulped hoping that my face wasn't bright red from embarrassment or if Mrs. Everdeen could detect that I had already 'deflowered' her daughter, thoroughly and repeatedly. She opened the pouch, inside were herbs, the smell alone was pungent "It's the same as a capsule but in herb form." I understood what she meant.

Do I tell Mrs. Everdeen that Katniss received a shot before the training sessions at the Capitol? "Mrs. Everdeen I don't think that I should be the one to––"

"Peeta, please."

I shook my head. "Mrs. Everdeen, I'm sorry, but no. I can't…have this conversation with Katniss because you can't confront her. She needs to hear your concerns from you." Mrs. Everdeen sighed. "I know that your relationship with Katniss is…on a shaky foundation, but you're still her Mom. She would be pissed at you and me for talking behind her back about this...it's wrong. Yes, she would be upset and mortified but let me tell you it's more humiliating if this came from me." In turn I wouldn't know how to broach the topic.

I acted out the scenario in my head, what I would say to her, 'Hey, love of my life. You're Mom talked to me about us having sex and well…she wanted you to be careful. So here is bag of herbs so you won't get pregnant while we do the nasty.' I could imagine the look on Katniss's face––surprise, horror, anger and the humiliation.

"She's so angry with me right now for not letting her live with you," she reminded me. "It's not proper or right." But it's it okay to talk to me about birth control? "I don't want to cause a bigger breach between us."

"I understand why you won't let us be together, Mrs. Everdeen. But you talking to me about this?" I pointed to the bag still in her hand. "No matter how angry Katniss will get, it's better that you address…talk to her." I paused. "I wished my Mom…"

I missed my family even my Mom. All my life she disregarded or dismissed me, I still missed her. She was my Mom. She was never nurturing or loving towards any of her sons, especially me but there was still a part of me that hoped she would change. That she loved me. I envied Katniss's relationship with her Mother.

"I'm sorry, Peeta. It was wrong of me to approach you. You're right, I should talk to Katniss and face her…wrath." She smiled. I wasn't used to seeing her in the rebel uniform. But despite the attire she reminded me of Katniss and Prim. Thinking of them reminded me of Delly, my sister in law. How was she doing? Was she getting big? Was she driving Rye crazy?

"I'm glad it's you," she said interrupting my thoughts. "I may not look it or voiced it but I'm glad that Katniss picked you. I have never seen her act the way she does with you. Not Gale or anyone. She opened herself to you. And, I know. That I don't have to ask or tell you, that you will take care of my girls. I know that you will protect them both."

"I promise on my life, Mrs. Everdeen. That I will protect them and keep them safe."

"It's all I ask for," she paused. "Take good care of Katniss, but most of all…don't get her pregnant." I blushed.

End of Flashback ––

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It wasn't an empty promise I made to Mrs. Everdeen. I swore on my life that I would protect both. I knew how important Prim was to Katniss. It was only natural that she would be important to me too. She was like a little sister to me. My heart swelled at the idea that once I had Katniss in my life, I had also gained a sister. I had an older sister in Graham's wife, but she was gone. Now I had two––Delly and Prim.

That first night I lay in bed alone, twisting and turning trying to reach out to Katniss. To only find an empty space beside me. I missed her soft breath that grazed my skin as she lay on the crook of my neck, her hand on my middle of my chest. I missed how she straddled one of my legs pressing most of her weight on my side.

A sliver of cold icy wind permeated through my hoodie making me shiver. I took a few steps and strained my neck when I heard voices from afar. I made my way to the sounds wondering who it was.

It was Shane and Maddy. They stood at the boundary of the compound where the edge of the forest began. The electrical fenced hummed accompanying a cacophony of crickets, owls and critters in the surrounding area. The noise was both loud but calming.

"Maddy, this is not the time to discuss this," Shane said in a resigned manner. His back was turned to me as Maddy faced his profile. She had her arms wrapped around her waist. "I'm on duty. You're going to get me in trouble."

"I'm not…I know your on duty, but I haven't seen or talked to alone since we got here," she said, her voice soft. "I miss…miss you." Shane turned his head to face her. His face was difficult to interpret since it was dark but he also wore a pair of dark glasses I've never seen before. The light from moon beamed on top of their heads giving them an ethereal glow about them. Shane sported his rebel uniform while Maddy wore a dark jacket and pants.

"I…can't do this right now. I need to focus," Shane elaborated as he shifted a long black rifle in his hands.

"I'm sorry. I know that I shouldn't have assumed––"

"Maddy, please. I can't do this right now!"

"But when? I just want you to talk to me," she pleaded as her voice shook. Shane remained quiet as he observed his surroundings. Maddy sighed, resigned that he was not going any further in their conversation. "All right. I'll leave you alone. Can I…can you hold me…I just need…" She sniffled as it was obvious she was holding back her tears. Surprisingly, Shane grabbed her suddenly wrapping one arm around her slim waist. Maddy gasped whether in surprise or relief, but probably both. A second later, Shane released her but not before Maddy placed a lingering kiss on his cheek. She whispered in his ear then departed.

I observed Shane as he watched Maddy walk away. Shane reached up and placed a hand to his cheek, the same spot Maddy had kissed him. To my shame, I flinched realizing I should have left when I found them together. I was eavesdropping. Gritting my teeth I turned around when my foot made a noise, crunching leaves beneath my boots.

"Who's there? Identify yourself!" Shane demanded as he cocked his rifle in his hands. I raised mine in surrender.

"It's me, Shane. Peeta" I identified myself. I heard him sigh loud and breathy.

"Peeta, what fu…what are you doing up and walking around at his time?" he questioned me.

"Sorry, Shane. I didn't mean to startle you."

"Why are you outside? You should be in your quarters."

"I couldn't sleep," I explained.

"There's seems to a lot of that going around," he muttered back. My brows raised in question. "Never mind. You know you should not be walking around at night. Commander Eisenman would throw you in a cell."

I knew that. I was breaking a rule. But, heck I was breaking a lot rules lately so what was one more to add to my offenses. "I know, I know. I just…I'm having a hard time adjusting to my new surrounding."

"I know what you mean," Shane agreed. The air between us was awkward and stifling. We both knew I witnessed his conversation with Maddy. He sensed it. I couldn't deny it without feeling embarrassed for eavesdropping on their private moment.

"So…by the look of how uncomfortable you are right now. I guess you overheard me and Maddy talking a few seconds ago," he surmised. I nodded my head, speechless and ashamed. He sighed.

Shane reminded me of Graham. While Rye was vocal and voiced his opinions, Graham was quiet and spoke only when necessary. He was a man with a few words but when he spoke they were short but to the point. He was like Dad in that sense, but the only difference was their temperament. Both Graham and Rye had quick temper. "I don't mean to get into your business, but for a moment watching you two together. You reminded me of Katniss and myself."

"What do you mean?"

"Katniss and I…we had a rocky start," I mentioned. I didn't want to reveal too much of our beginning. How Katniss treated me and acted whenever I was around her. "Let's just say that it took a while for us to get where we are right now."

"Oh, I never would have thought that," Shane admitted. "You both seem…put together. Like made for each other." His brow crinkled. I could tell from underneath the goggles he was wearing. "I know a lot of people were skeptical of your relationship, that it was fake because the odds of two lovers reaped were high." I winced. From an outsider's point of view, I understood his disbelief. "But after rescuing you from the arena, watching the two of you together, I admit I was wrong." He looked to the direction Maddy went and sighed.

"I thought the reason why you both were called 'The Star Crossed Lovers' was because of the social divide in your district. The same divide I have in mine––in my district it was people between land and sea biases."

"It was more than that," I sighed then added, "Katniss wasn't exactly…" I chose my words carefully. I didn't want Katniss to be looked at as a bad person. She wasn't; she was wary about people, especially Merchants. It was how she was raised to believe and how she was treated for being born Seam. I was raised the same way but it didn't matter to me. It was because she was different that she was special to me even at the age of five.

"It took a bit longer for her to warm up to me. And there were lots of obstacles between us."

"I get that," Shane related. I really didn't to know their history. It really wasn't my business, but I felt and sensed that Maddy loved him. I can see it in the look of her eyes. The way it traveled to Shane no matter where she was or who was around her. He was her focus and attention. I felt and knew that kind of longing. "Maddy and I have a lot of history, a lot not so good. We had obstacles too. One very big one." He didn't elaborate but I waited for him to explain. He wasn't forthcoming.

"Can I ask you one question?"

"Sure."

"Do you love Maddy?"

"It's not a matter if I love her," he started. Shane looked frustrated.

"Then what does matter?"

"Trust." Ah, one simple word that explained so much. You can love someone so much but if there was no trust between them, a relationship without trust couldn't last or endure a life together. "I don't…don't know if I can trust her not to hurt me…"

"I understand. You can't have a relationship with Maddy without trust." Shane nodded unhappily, his face downcast and his lips formed a thin line.

"I don't know what to do. My heart tells me I can trust her but my head says I can't. So much hurt was done that I can't…I can't get over it."

"Then you have your answer."

"It's not that simple," Shane argued back.

"You just said you can't trust her, and without trust…?" I wasn't trying to encourage or discourage Shane, but let him ruminate his thoughts. He needed time.

"I loved her for a long time. She was…is older than me, but I looked up to her. Maddy was always beautiful and strong. Not like any other girl I ever known. She was different. She was all I wanted. She just hurt me too much…"

I knew how Shane felt. I was hurt when Katniss hurt me and was mean when all I wanted was to be her friend. She was suspicious and didn't believe me. Granted I was Merchant and she was Seam. It was the nature of things in District 12. But when we grew closer she panicked and gave up on me…on us. Or rather when I thought she did but she came back and begged for a chance. I gave us time because in my heart I couldn't completely cut her off in my life. So I told her––she had three long days to be exact. It was silly if you thought about it. Loving someone doesn't have or require a timetable, you love whom you love. But sometimes, you just need time to step back. I knew I was goner the first time I laid my eyes on her. But I knew I couldn't let her hurt me anymore. I gave her three days––one day to be angry with her and at myself for being weak and pathetic. The second day to be resigned at the fact that I loved Katniss a lot; embarrassingly so, that I would forgive her easily. And the third day for acceptance––I shouldn't let pride get in the way of my happiness. That Katniss wanted me and she fought for us. I never had anyone fought for me before.

We stood in silence for a few minutes, relishing the quiet of the night and the peace surrounding us.

"For me, Katniss is and always will be the one for me," I said. "She stubborn…acts before she thinks about the consequences. She drives me crazy." I chuckled. "Most of the time it's a good thing and sometimes…not so good." Shane laughed back.

"I don't know the circumstances as to why you don't or can't trust Maddy. But from what I observed a few minutes ago, I really do believe she loves you. And even though you never mentioned it, you love her too.

Love and trust goes hand in hand in a relationship. Forgiveness is the one thing…the binding element in a stable relationship. You will hurt and fight with each other. You will make mistakes. You will give or ask for forgiveness. "You just need to ask yourself one question. If you can't forgive each other for your transgressions, it won't matter if you love or trust each other. And with forgiveness, you have to let the hurt and anger go. Do you love Maddy enough to forgive her?"

It felt odd giving advise to Shane. He was only two year older than me but then with all the things that had happened, I felt old and weary. I too had trust issues so I felt for Shane. There was a feeling of kinship between us. Like I had gained another friend who reminded me of myself. "Just think about it and don't make any rash decisions."

"What would you do if…someone you love hurt you so much and with intention knowing that she did it on purpose? What would you do, Peeta?" I thought about his question for a few seconds. Shane waited for a response. "I'm sorry if this too awkward."

"No, it's not that," I corrected him. "It's just really hard to say because I don't know what happened between you two––"

"There's another person, another guy that she used me to make him jealous," he admitted. "Twice." Oh! I knew what he meant when he said 'used.' It wasn't difficult to figure out. This was a whole different story. Katniss was mean and dismissive of my attempt to befriend her, but she never used me that way. She wasn't in love with someone else. Even though we were never together and had pretended, she didn't use Gale either to make me jealous. They were never an item.

"Shane, all I can tell you is that…you need to know your own heart as well as Maddy's," I said. He groaned.

"Peeta, that doesn't help. You're like…my bro, man. I thought we bonded since you know I saved your hide like twice." There was levity in his tone.

I smiled. "Hey, I have enough to worry about with my own girl, you know. I love Katniss. Don't get me wrong, but she's a handful, a force of nature. Sometimes, I have to pinch myself because I can't believe she's mine."

"Well, I've only known her for a short time. And if she's anything at all like Prim, I feel for you, Peeta," he joked. I chuckled back. Suddenly, Shane lifted his hand and placed a finger into his ear. There was a microphone inserted in his ear.

"This is Roman. All is clear and quiet. Over and out," he said. "Sorry, but you need to go back to your bunk, Peeta. You know the consequences for breaking the rules here." I nodded my head. Eisenman was very specific and direct about his rules. "And Peeta? Thanks!"

I slowly edged back to my residence making sure I avoided the other soldiers that patrolled the area.

Just as I was about to climb us the stairs to my residence a pair of strong ands held both my arms. I struggled to free myself using my wrestling moves. It worked only for a few seconds when I felt a cloth hit the side of my head. It was wet and smelled pungent.

This was not happening again. The man was taller than me so I butted my head to his making him fall back. He was stunned for a second. Something in me triggered. Using all the strength I had, I pulled at my assailant's arm and yanked his body over my shoulder. He yelped in surprise as his body crashed onto the ground. I held onto his arm upward giving it a twist forcing him to lie on his side. He screamed as I placed my booted foot onto the side of his head. "Who are you?" I hissed. He remained quiet. "Who are you? What do you want from me?"

"Peeta, what's going on?" Shane appeared besides me.

"He attacked me." I gestured to the man on the ground, struggling to free himself. He wore a mask on his face––a black hood that had holes in the eye sockets. On his back was small backpack. Shane immediately pointed his rifle.

"Let him go, Peeta," Shane ordered. I released my would-be captor. "Get up." I was breathing hard through my mouth, cold air seeped into my lungs. It stung. Sweat beaded my forehead cooling my heated skin. I was furious. "Peeta, get the cuffs from my belt."

I walked over to Shane and removed the cuffs. Before I cuffed the assailant, I removed his mask to confront him. He was a dark skinned man, bald with tattoos all over his head. Something wet dripped from his nose. It was blood. I recognized one of tattoos on his skin. It was the symbol of the Capitol. Without thinking I pulled back my arm and punched him hard on the nose. He fell on the ground with a loud thud.

I didn't remembered what happened next. But the next thing I knew I was at the command center. My head rested on my forearms as I was hunched over a table. I woke up abruptly as I was exhausted and alert at the same time.

"What happened?" I asked Shane as my eyes adjusted. He was seated across me.

"He hit the side of your head with chloroform," he explained. Oh, that made sense since I blacked out. "You were lucky to fight him off before I got there and the chloroform took affect."

"How did you know I needed help?"

"I was watching you from a distance. I thought I saw something in my goggles so I made sure you got to your bunk safely."

"Thank you," I said. If he hadn't been there to help me I wouldn't know where I would be right now. I couldn't switch off the images and thoughts in my head. My first thoughts were of Katniss. "Katniss." I stood up quickly causing me to sway from dizziness and nausea. Shane assured me that she, Prim and her mother were fine and undisturbed. They were asleep in bed not realizing what was going on. Thank God. I sat back down and laid my head on the table. "Why am I here?"

"I needed to get my prisoner for questioning. So I turned him over for Commander Eisenman to interrogate…I also didn't want to leave you at your room so I had you brought here, just in case."

"Thanks again, Shane." I closed my eyes for a few second and just as I was about to doze off I felt a hand on my shoulder.

"Peeta." Shane nudged me. I blinked twice trying to refocus my eyes. My neck and back ached from lying hunched over for more than an hour. "Go to bed. I'll walk you back to your bunk." Then, Commander Eisenman appeared.

"What's going on?" I asked ignoring his suggestions. "What happened to…what did he say?" I knew they interrogated him. It was standard procedure when a spy was caught. And that what he was––a spy on a mission. It was obvious what was his objective was––me and Katniss, perhaps.

Eisenman sighed. For a man who had been awakened late in the night, he looked alert. But there was weariness in his facial expression. "He didn't talk for a while which was to be expected. But we injected him with a truth serum." I flinched as his words and the methods that reminded me of my time with Cray and Snow. Some of my nightmares were about my time with them, their faces in a sneer and filled with hate. "I'm sorry, Peeta. But this camp has been compromised."

"What do you mean?" Fear filled me. What started as a prickle on my skin radiated throughout my body down to my bones. I felt paralyzed and numb.

"He was sent by Snow," he confirmed. I swallowed a ball of saliva that gathered in my throat. "From what we were able to get from him is that, he hasn't told him of our compound, the location of this base. We searched his bunk and belongings. We have been monitoring any signals or transmission coming in and out of this camp."

Eisenman then informed me that the spy had been sent and lived in the compound for three weeks. He didn't have any radio or transmitter with him. He was only sent to spy and report to Snow but didn't know how to contact him without alerting or giving in himself away. Every rebel soldier was accounted for and grouped in threes when they patrolled and scouted. The spy's main mission was information.

"But, when you arrived and the word was spread for a reward on you. Well, he got greedy and thought he could capture you and report to Snow on this location," he confessed. My worst fear was realized. I felt uneasy without my family around but at this moment I was happy they weren't here. Their lives would be in danger.

"Is there more?" I asked. "I mean…are there more of them?" My first thought was I should leave. I wasn't safe to be around anyone, especially Katniss.

"No," Eisenman informed me succinctly. "The information we got mostly was that he knew of our location, the delivery schedule for supplies...how many are living in this base and the type of security we have. At least, he didn't know where the location of the rebel camps throughout the district." I sighed.

"So what now? Where is he and what are you going to do with him?"

"He's been dealt with," he returned. I didn't like the sound of that.

"What do you mean?" I pressed further.

"You don't need to know––"

"I do need to know, damnit," I cursed and held my temper. "He was after me, attacked me and God knows if he was after Katniss too." I breathed my nose. "I have every right to know."

"I ordered to inject 50mm of tracker jacker in to his system. In a couple of days he will be released in District 5 where there are known cases of tracker jacker attacks. He won't remember a thing."

"But how can you just release him to the public? What if he does remember?" I panicked.

"I have it in good authority that he won't remember anything…nothing at all. Who he is? Where he came from?" I was astounded, that a simple injection of tracker jacker could do that to a person. "I had one of our medic inject it into his hippocampus and cortex, areas in the brain that store memory. I promise you, he won't remember anything." Okay not so simple, but still invasive and intrusive. It was cruel. "It's either that or a bullet in his head." I blinked thrice in rapid succession. "We don't keep prisoner, Peeta. We are barely keeping the camps fed."

"Don't think the Capitol wouldn't do the same with their prisoners, either," Shane added. "Snow has no mercy but by doing this…it's less…" Evil? Monstrous? I felt sick to my stomach. This was war and the consequences of fighting against Snow. Suddenly I'm bone tired, the lack of sleep were catching up to me and the addition of new stress and concern added to my worries.

"I need to tell Katniss––"

"No," Eisenman barked so loud, I literally jumped in my seat. "You cannot tell Everdeen what transpired here."

"She needs to know what almost happened to me?" I persisted.

"No, you will not tell her," he ordered.

"I do not intend nor will I keep secrets from Katniss." I demanded. "She needs to know that we are in danger."

"You do that and I will transfer you to another camp," he threatened. I thought of his threat for a few seconds. I was already thinking of leaving Katniss for her safety, but who would watch her and keep her safe? I trusted only Shane and Maddy, but they couldn't keep on eye on her 24/7. But most of all, I couldn't be away from her. "My orders were to keep the Everdeens safe. They are the Mockingjay's family. You are not." His words were harsh. "I order you to not say anything to her."

I was already in trouble with Eisenman. I didn't want to alienate him any further. He would transfer me off the base. "I won't say anything to Katniss," I gritted my teeth. 'For now.' But eventually I will because I had to.

"In the meantime, Shane will continue to shadow you and Maddy will do the same for Katniss as well."

"What about Prim and Mrs. Everdeen? They need protection too?" If Katniss was in danger so were Prim and their mother.

"They are covered as well, Peeta," Shane interjected. "I promise you that they are safe with people I trust." I sighed in relief if only momentarily.

Eisenman dismissed Shane and myself as I went back to bed. Now, I knew why Shane was everywhere I went in the camp. I never veered away from compound too far as I accompanied Prim in her herb and berry exploration in the forest. It never occurred to me that Shane was breaking a rule when I went with them while Maddy kept on eye on Katniss. I never really worried over Katniss because she was heavily guarded and escorted by both Maddy and Shane. And, Katniss could take care of herself even though I worried about her hunting during the early morning hours.

So I kept busy in the kitchen preparing meals and baking bread while Katniss was away. We spent every spare we could when she wasn't shifting through dirty laundry, her afternoon duty while I was left to linger in the camp after my kitchen assignment.

This routine continued, rising early and working in the kitchen. Dinners were quiet at the Everdeen house. Katniss and I snuck out for a couple hours as we walked to the edge of compound for some alone time. Time we were afforded with Maddy and Shane at a distance but never out of our sight. With my back against a tree, I wrapped my arms around Katniss, her head on my chest and our bodies so close I could feel swell of breasts. "I can't believe I'm saying this but…I miss our bed back at the Capitol," Katniss sighed. I chuckled. "Just our bed, mind you and nothing else."

"I miss the showers," I whispered in her ear. The showers here were adequate, but I had gotten used to the large showerheads that flowed water like rainfall. The stalls in the Capitol were spacious enough for several bodies to fit inside. At the camp, they were as small as a coat closet. We held each other for a few minutes. Guilt ate into my soul. I was keeping a secret from Katniss, but how do I tell her without breaking my promise from Eisenman. Then a thought formulated in my mind.

"Katniss," I started.

"Hm…"

"You trust me, right?" my voice shook from nervousness.

Katniss pulled her head off my chest and stared into my eyes. "Of course, I do. I trust you with my life," she swore. Her words made me feel guiltier than ever. "Why would you ask me that?"

"There's something I need to…want to tell you, but…" I stuttered with my words. My throat felt dry all of a sudden.

"Peeta, you're…scaring me," she confessed. Worry lines formed on her forehead––three deep creases.

"I'm sorry. Just let me get this out before I chicken out." She nodded her head.

"Peeta, no matter what you say you have to know that I trust you. So tell me what's…troubling you."

Could I tell her? I didn't want to keep any secrets from her, but telling her someone tried to abduct me again would make her worry a lot to the point of panic and fear. "I made a promise to someone. But I also made a promise to you about not keeping secrets from you."

"Peeta, just tell me," she hissed in impatience. "You're keeping a secret from me?" I winced in reaction to her accusation.

"So without breaking my promise to this person. I'll tell you that…there is something I am keeping from you, nothing for you to worry about now. But I just...I don't like the fact that I am or ordered not to tell you but…"

"But?"

"But I am a man of my word. I made a promise and I meant to keep it. But I want you to know that when the time comes, I will tell you." This was not how I wanted to handle this. I was breaking the promise while I was still keeping a secret from Katniss. I was fucked no matter what I did." I will you in time. But for now, please know that I would tell you if I could and it's killing me that I can't tell you ––"

"Peeta, stop. Now you're rambling and making really mad and scared," she voiced her concern. "But I know you wouldn't keep a secret from unless you were told not…" Her eyes grew round. "It's Eisenman, isn't it? He's the one you're keeping your promise to?" I nodded my head.

"I'm sorry," I said. Katniss pulled away from my embrace and started to walk away when she stopped. She was pissed, her eyes hard as I knew she was trying to keep her temper in check. "Katniss, I'm sorry." Katniss would always be beautiful to me whether there fire in her eyes or when they glassy and dazed when I made love to her. She was radiant like the sun.

"I'm not mad at you, Peeta," she said between clenched teeth. "I'm furious at him." I wanted to reach over and take her in my arms to cool the rage that burned inside her, but I kept my distance. She would come to me when she was calm and ready to accept comfort.

"Yes, but I––"

"But nothing, he put you a compromising position. It must really be a huge and…important secret to even not tell me," she observed. "Then, he made you promise not to tell me when I know you would…I'm…not just furious…I'm...enraged that he would do that to you." I sighed, relief and gratitude that Katniss wasn't angry with me. "He's trying to divide us." I didn't think of it that way.

"What? Why would he do that?" I was confused by her…assumption. Katniss had no love for Eisenman so to speak. She didn't trust people and was suspicious of them. Maybe she was right and I was naïve but I gave people the benefit of the doubt. Not all people were bad. "You're the Mockingjay's family, he wouldn't do that to you!"

"I don't know why?" she returned. "I just find it odd and infuriating that he would make you keep a secret from me. I wouldn't put it past him to try to make us turn from each other. Create tension between us."

"There is nothing to gain by dividing or tearing us apart from each other. It makes no sense." Now I was feeling anxious with the thought that someone was trying to create friction between Katniss and me. Suddenly, a pair of thin arms wrapped around my waist, her head was back on my chest.

"I'm sorry, Peeta," she said in soft tone. "I'm relieved that you told me. That you didn't want to keep something from me. It just that I'm so tired all the time, I miss you and I'm scared too. Then, Eisenman made you…I'm so fucking tired of people…why can't people leave us alone? I just want to be with you. Keep Prim and Mom safe. Is it too much to ask?"

"Me, too. Katniss," I confided. "I miss my family, the bakery. Our home back in 12. And now…we're at war. I don't even know how my family are doing. I want to see my Dad. I miss Rye. I miss…Graham." I held back the tears that threatened to fall from my eyes.

"Oh, Peeta. I'm sorry. Here I am complaining and you don't have your family around. I know I'm lucky that Prim and Mom are with me. I shouldn't be whining and getting mad about…when you're worried about your family back in 12." She pressed her face on my chest. "I'm being selfish and insensitive."

"Hey, none of that," I admonished her. "It's not your fault. Yes, I miss my family. I mean I'm glad Rye went back home to Delly. I would have kicked his ass had he stayed." I was furious when Prim told me that Rye stowed away in a hovercraft to join the rebellion. He abandoned Delly and their unborn child. And what about Tyler? He was responsible for him until I returned. 'How could he do that to them?'

"We're so lucky, Peeta. We were reaped. I never expected to…survive. I was resigned to… and now here we are. Alive and away from President Snow and the Capitol. The games are over, never to be revived." Which was half true because as long as Snow was alive he was determined to rebuild the Hunger Games and the arena." The odds were in our favor for once, but how many times can we tempt fate?"

I felt like a cat with nine lives. So many times I skirted death, seeing him face to face. I counted our blessing. Ordinarily, when we spent our precious moments together, we were making out like a couple of care-free teenagers, in love and happy to be together. Our lips and tongues ravished each other, seeking comfort and sating our desire for one another. Tonight, we're somber and scared of the future. We had no home, my family far away and Katniss's father was the Mockingjay. This was our reality.

"Promise me that we will fight together. That we won't let anything come between us," she pleaded.

Now Katniss was scaring me. "Katniss, of course I wouldn't let anything come between us," I tried to assure her.

"You don't understand," she said, her voice shook. "I'll mess up, I know I will. I'll do or say something stupid. I never wanted this…a relationship with anyone, but it's you. And I'm me. I'm impulsive, moody and stubborn––"

"So am I. You don't think I'm scared that I'll do or say to drive you away? I'm new at this too Katniss. You're…you're it for me. I don't want to mess up either." I sighed. "That's why I telling you about Eisenman."

"I…love you, Peeta. I know I don't say it often," she admitted. "Because I feel like every time I do…something bad happens to you." I winced. Something did happen. Well, something almost happened to me. "I can't…I can't lose you."

"I love you too, so much. I can't promise you that bad things won't happen to me. Like you can't promise me the same thing, but I can promise that I will protect and fight for you," I swore. I felt my heart swell with longing and an ache so fierce.

"We protect each other Peeta," she returned. At that moment, I felt peaceful and content.

The next couple days there were moments I almost blurted my secret to Katniss. The guilt tore into me. I was lucky to have an understanding girlfriend but I knew I was going to tell her because I didn't want to keep my secret from her any longer.

I was in the kitchen one morning when she appeared, frantic and dishevel. She held a turkey and pheasants in her hands, her bounty from her early morning hunt.

"Katniss, are you okay?" I asked as I held her in my arms. "You're trembling."

My heart nearly stopped as she explained that they discovered the presence of Capitol drones in the area. She wanted to leave but I disagreed. I grabbed her hand and led her to the command center. Shane and Maddy were in the midst of argument. There was so much tension between that I noticed right away. It was obvious that Eisenman wasn't aware of the 'relationship,' but berated then accordingly as soldiers of the rebellion. Not a pair of lovers in midst of an argument underlying the tension between them. Between the words of anger, there was hurt.

"Enough!" he barked.

Soon enough, Katniss suggested that she and I leave the camp, stating that our presence was placing everyone in danger I agreed since it was obvious that we were not safe even with the security measure. I reluctantly agreed with Katniss. The kidnap attempt days before confirmed my fears. The commander tried to assure us we were safe and so was the camp.

"We've been in this camp for close to 20 years. You don't think we made any measure to ensure our safety?" he said. "Listen, go back to your duty and leave the problem to us. No one is going anywhere." We were ignored and dismissed. There was nothing we could do but comply. I had to trust him.

Hours later during dinner, I still felt uneasy but I didn't want to alert Katniss. She had enough stress and fears of her own and adding mine would only made matters worse. I forced my self to relax and it had worked if only for an hour or two until we were disrupted when Shane appeared at the door.

"I'm sorry to disturb your dinner, but Commander Eisenman sent me to fetch you," his announced. "All of you, that includes Mrs. Everdeen and Prim."

Shane led us to the command center. Eisenman looked somber. I mean the guy looked serious all the time but this time, the look on his face sort of scared me. I thought things couldn't get worse. I was wrong. Eisenman proceeded to inform us of the situation in District 12––the mutt attacks and the incendiary bombs that destroyed the Seam. The Merchant quarters nearly decimated by the attacks and the blood painting the streets. My home was officially cut off from the country and was placed in quarantine. Throughout his explanation all I wanted to do was get on a hovercraft and fly home to be with my family. There was a virus or contagion in District 12. There were thousands affected and many were sick? "What about family?" I asked as Katniss, Prim and her mother argued with Eisenman since they too wanted to head towards our district to help the sick and injured.

"Listen, I know you have a lot of questions," Eisenman said. "Questions I don't have answers to. So he sent this. We were told not to watch unless all of you were present." Eisenman inserted a disc into the side of a monitor. I prayed and hoped it was my Dad on the screen, but was disappointed to see Mr. Everdeen instead. It was stupid of me to have raised my hopes to seeing my father on the screen. I should have known it was the Mockingjay.

"Hello, Lily, girls," Mr. Everdeen started. He looked exhausted as there were dark purple marks underneath his eyes. His skin was weathered by lack of sleep or something else. He was seated on chair, his fingers intertwined in front of him. He wore his Mockingjay outfit with a pin on his left front pocket. It shimmered on the screen as a light source beamed upon it. It was a like a beacon. I focused my eyes on the pin. It was shaped of bird with its wings spread out as if it was in flight. I turned my head as Katniss reached over to a lapel of her jacket. On it was the same pin––a silver mockingjay.

"I miss you. I miss all of you," he sighed. "By now Commander Eisenman explained what is going on in District 12. Rest assured, we are in the process of figuring out what is infecting the populace. We have help. The researchers from District 13 are doing their best to figure out what is making people sick. By now the numbers have risen, so I order Eisenman to not let anyone and I mean anyone, enter the district. Anyone entering the air space will be given a warning shot. For the safety of Panem and it's people it is best that everyone stay away until we know what is…making us sick." He coughed, placing a fist hand over his mouth.

"Mom!" Prim cried out. "He's infected." Tears brimmed her eyes, her lips opened. As for Katniss, she looked scared but mostly angry. Lily gasped and placed a hand over her mouth. Tears brimmed her eyes. Her fair skin looked sallow.

"Please do not concern yourself, we will be fine. We have supplies and medical help. In the meantime, there is nothing you can do," he continued.

"Like hell, there isn't anything we can do," Katniss muttered under her breath. Her eyes were firm and hard. I could tell she was formulating something in her mind. Katniss wasn't a type of person who would sit idly by and watch people…her father become sicker with a virus we knew nothing about. As if her father read Katniss's mind, he continued.

"I have given specific orders for Eisenman keep an eye on Katniss. I know you my darling, sweet and obstinate girl. You are strong willed and probably trying to figure how to convince Eisenman to send your mother and sister here. Don't. I forbid it." He took a deep breath. Lily noticed that he had a difficult time breathing. We all notice how his voice was raspy as if he had hard time speaking. The words he spoke were measured.

"Please listen. This virus…we cannot let it spread any further into the general public. This is Snow trying to…control us." More likely trying to kill us slowly, but I wasn't about to voice that out loud. "I need…incase something happens to have the rebellion continue…until I get better." A soft voice was heard in the background. Mr. Everdeen looked to the side on his right. "Communication between the camps are limited. We should only be in contact unless it's an emergency. We will use the old world's frequency and antiquated methods of communication. You know what I am referring to." He was talking about Morse code, an ancient method of communication by use of sound.

"It's almost time sir," a voice spoke. Mr. Everdeen nodded his head.

"Also, Haymitch is all right, grumpy and complaining about everyone and everything but otherwise in good health." I sighed in relief but wondered about… "All the others, your reaping escort and stylists are okay. Please know that they are safe. They will be transferred to the compound soon. From what I've heard I know how important they are to you, even if they all Capitolites." He chuckled.

"Peeta, Effie and Cinna are okay," Katniss stated as I smiled. Little did we realized that Cinna and Portia stayed behind, but Mr. Everdeen didn't know who they were or their importance in our lives.

"I don't much time left but I think there is someone else who needs to talk. But before I go, I want to say to Peeta. Thank you. Thank you for keeping my daughters safe. For watching over Prim and helping her escape. I wish was there to say these words to you, Peeta. I knew that I didn't have to worry about Katniss. I knew that you would protect and keep her safe. I am eternally grateful for your devotion to my eldest girl."

"Sir?" a soft voice was heard in the background.

"My thoughts are always with you, Lily, Prim, Katniss. I want you to know that I love all of you. This…is just a setback. I will be with you soon. It's a promise." Mr. Everdeen stood up. I gasped in surprise when Dad sat on the chair previously occupied.

"Hey, Peeta," Dad said. I lost whatever strength or courage I had as my stomach lurched at the sight of him. Dad looked…sick, really sick. His face was gaunt and his skin paler than normal. Where was Rye? He sent a small smile towards the camera. "I miss you, son. We all do. Delly and Tyler are well. Rye is…your brother couldn't be here right now because…he's not feeling well. " He confirmed my suspicions, Rye was sick as well. I was losing my Dad and brother.

He chuckled. "Don't worry about us, we're…doing okay. I have to tell you though. You would be so proud of your brother. The way Rye defended our family and the district with Madge Undersee. Can you imagine Madge and Rye, my rebel in the making? I never thought I would ever see any of my sons take up a gun. Both of you are so brave and strong. And Rye, I mean, you know how he is with the baking utensil. You're the baker in the family, even better than me. You are a natural, like you were selected to be the best of the bakers in our family. Decades of experience were ingrained in you, but behind your gentle nature I know you are a fighter. I'm proud of you both." I barely heard his compliment but was focused on Rye. Rye was in the fight at District 12? Graham was more of a candidate to volunteer and join the rebellion but Rye? Maybe his time with Prim and Mockingjay caused him to change his mind. And what about Madge? When did she become a…rebel?

"I don't want you to worry about us. We're going to be fine," he reiterated. "Just take care of yourself. Make your girl happy. Be happy, Peeta. That is all that a parent wants for his kids. And you, my son, you deserve it more than anyone I know." He smiled. "We'll see each other soon. Tyler misses you. Delly doesn't know the sex of her child, but swears it's a girl. Can you imagine that? A girl after all these years of Mellark boys?" I was felt sick to my stomach. My Dad spoke as though…I was never going to see him again. Wishing all the best. I could sense his despair in his tone.

"Dad?" I said his name hoping that he could feel me from across the screen, but it was futile. I didn't even realized called out to him. I'm a grown man yet my heart felt like I was five again, needing my Dad's support and love. The pain and ache reminded me when Cray bore his whip on my back, hitting me over and over until I passed out.

Katniss grabbed my upper arm. My mind spun, my body numb from shock and despair. "Peeta!" her voice was soft, but her voice barely registered in my mind. My senses too focused on the screen.

"I'm a lucky man to have sons like you, Graham and Rye. You are the best things that has ever happened to me," he said. "I love you. We'll see each other soon." He choked the last sentence as if he was trying not to break down and cry.

The screen went dark. "From now on your security detail has been doubled," Eisenman informed us. "With Mockingjay under quarantine––"

"Fuck my detail," I returned. Prim gasped in shock. I didn't swear often or get mad easily but I was…emotions bubbled inside me. My home was destroyed and my people dying. "What about my Dad? What about the people in District 12? What are you doing to help them?" Now was spitting mad. Mockingjay's orders were for us to sit and wait. For what? For time to pass and the people in 12 to get sicker, or worse die from a contagion they couldn't find a cure for.

"Listen, Mellark. I have my orders directly coming from Mockingjay," Eisenman said. "His orders were to keep people from leaving 12 to stop spreading the virus."

"What?" I returned.

"When the people in District 12 were told of the contagion instead of staying in place, your people were trying to escape. The contagion is spreading and it's spreading fast."

Lily looked shocked. "But why didn't Garrett tell us that?"

"Mockingjay didn't want to alarm you. There is so much going on there. He's trying to contain the district and stop Snow from doing more damage…I am not going to let anyone into the district. This is serious. There's a reason why 12 is on quarantine."

"But they need medical assistance, if people are sick they need help,' Mrs. Everdeen suggested.

"And they are getting medical attention they need from District 13, I assure you," he informed her. It wasn't enough. I needed to speak to my Dad, see Rye and help whatever I can for the people in 12. There was a war going on in Panem. Rebels were attacking train supply depots that were scheduled to be delivered to Districts 1, 2 and the Capitol. They were areas that were the main stronghold for the peacekeepers and loyalists. Other districts were rioting and fighting the peacekeepers in their own way. The resistance was in full swing. "I know you want to help. But, there is nothing we can do right now. Mockingjay, as I have told you, ordered us to stay away."

I respected Mr. Everdeen. He was always kind to me. I was also in awe of him when l learned he was the Mockingjay but would I defy his order? Could I without betraying his trust and endangering Katniss?

And in the typical manner, Eisenman dismissed us. Lily and Prim headed straight to their quarters while Katniss took my hand and led me to mine. Shane and Maddy left to their own devise. Katniss's strides were wide, fast and with purpose. We received strange looks from the people around us as we walked past them. Others whispered to each other. I was used to the attention after our experience in the Capitol so I easily ignored them.

"Peeta, what are we going to do?" Katniss whispered soon as we were inside my residence. I loved that she said 'we.' Her thoughts and mind were in tune to mine. The fact that she asked in a hushed tone I knew we were in the same mindset. She asked me in a such a manner as if there were listening devices in my quarters. Our time in the Capitol made us wary of strangers and places. We didn't or couldn't trust anyone even the people in the camp. At least I couldn't after my experience the night I was almost abducted. A bolt of guilt struck me knowing that I was keeping that secret from Katniss. But now was not the time. I had other matters to contend with.

I couldn't stay at the compound while my Dad and Rye were sick. Katniss felt the same, as she too was worried over her father. Our loved ones could be dying at this moment. A mixture of feelings swelled inside me––anger, fear, despair and helplessness. The odds of us leaving the compound were slim. We were watched and guarded from the moment we awoke to the second we were secured in our quarters.

"I don't know, Katniss," I admitted. "Your Dad pretty much ordered us not to do anything. And don't forget our body guards."

"How could I forget," Katniss bit back with a tinge of rancor in her tone. It wasn't aimed at me. "This is just as bad when we were in the Capitol." I agreed and nodded my head.

"What are we going to do?" Katniss repeated. She was distressed and angry. I reached over and grabbed her around the waist. Katniss was rigid in my arms at first but slowly softened against me. I dropped my lips on her head, kissing her softly while inhaling the fresh scent of pine and vanilla on her hair and skin. The aroma was comforting. "We…we can't not do something, Peeta. I'm so frustrated and…"

"It's okay to be mad at your Dad, Katniss. It's understandable to be mad at him. I'm mad at my Dad too."

Katniss lifted her head. "Why are you mad at your Dad?"

"I'm not…" I thought for a few seconds to organize my thoughts. "I'm not mad per se but frustrated like you. I love my Dad, but growing up I resented him for not…not protecting me from my Mom. He knew, Katniss. He knew that she was abusing us not just physically, but emotionally and mentally. And he stood by and did nothing."

I was torn. "He's my Dad, but why did he let my Mom abuse us for so long?" Katniss remained quiet, but her arms around my waist tightened as she buried her head on my chest. "But since Dad divorced Mom, he's been the Dad I wanted and needed. He…wasted so much time. And now he's sick and I might not ever see him again…and I'm so mad at him right now." I knew I wasn't making any sense, but this was what I felt. How can you love someone and be mad at them at the same time? I grunted in frustration. So in essence, Eisenman was right there was nothing we could do.

The next couple of days I grew desperate. The lack of sleep and nightmares grew worse. Katniss and I ended sneaking into my quarters taking naps together. It was the only time we slept peacefully in each other's arms. But as more days passed, the nightmares worsened for Katniss. She woke up screaming so loud she woke up half the compound. She was drenched in her own sweat as she ran out of her quarters and headed towards mine. She was so inconsolable that her Mom backed off and permitted us to sleep together, but it wasn't enough. I knew I had to do something.

One afternoon with my hands deep in dough, I had overhead a conversation that changed everything.

The door to the chief cook named Oscar, was ajar. "The next shipment will probably be the last for a the next few of weeks. Don't expect any deliveries after that." the voice said. "Portion the food accordingly because it's getting harder to deliver the supplies. President Snow has doubled security on the train deliveries to the Capitol. All other produce and wares are not stored in the warehouses in the districts. He's having them transported straight to the Capitol right away."

"No more warehouse raids? No more deliveries every five days?" Oscar asked. Five days. Every five days, a shipment arrived. They were supplies snuck into the camp and delivered at night. The last delivery was 2 days prior. That meant that their transport was off to pick up the new delivery. Supplies were transported from 100 miles away in an abandoned train depot. This was the chance I was looking for.

I told everything I learned to Katniss. We calculated and planned the things we needed to pack––food, first aid kit, extra clothing. Katniss would bring her bow and arrow. Me, with my machete. I confiscated a map of Panem. On it were locations of train stations, districts town and railroad tracks system all throughout Panem. Also, I borrowed a few things from the supply depot––a pair rope, pocket knives, compass, extra bows for Katniss and two goggles that Shane wore during his patrol. I didn't know how they functioned but they looked…cool.

As the days grew closer to the time of our departure, we both were excited, anxious and a lot scared. Even Katniss admitted as much, "I want to do this. I need to but I'm a little scared, Peeta. It would mean we are on our own. And we really don't know what we're up against once we're out there."

"Are you changing your mind about going?" I had to ask if she had a change of heart. I couldn't do this without her. I could if I had to though. I needed to see my family. She shook her head.

"I know I want to do this. At least I know that Prim and Mom will be safe. But…I just got her back and I'm afraid something will happen when I leave."

"Katniss, if you don't want to do this––"

"No," she interjected a bit too forceful. I knew there was a part of her that was reluctant to leave as I felt the same way. However, my desire to get back to 12 was stronger than my fear. I was afraid that my Dad and brother, Rye would die before I got to them. And if they did, who would take care of Delly and Tyler. They were all I had I left if… I shook the negative thoughts in my mind. "I want to go… I need to go." It was settled.

For our last dinner with Prim and their Mom, we had a feast––turkey, dinner rolls, roasted potatoes and steamed vegetables. For dessert, I baked a cake––three layer chocolate cake with sour cream vanilla frosting. "What's the occasion?" Mrs. Everdeen asked.

I lied through my teeth as Katniss sat speechless beside me, "I just thought of celebrating for…escaping the area and being here with you and Prim. That's all."

"That's very…thoughtful of you, Peeta," she returned.

All throughout dinner Prim teased Katniss as she kept whispering in her ear. When I served the cake, Prim giggled and once again whispered into Katniss's ear. In turn, Katniss blushed and her eyes avoided mine. "That's not funny, Prim," she scolded her sister with mock anger.

"It's going to happen," Prim sing songed. "All you needed was a loaf of bread." Bread? Then I realized what made Katniss blushed up to her ears and neck. A toasting. That was what Prim was insinuating. Growing up I dreamt of marrying Katniss, living together and having babies with her. It was a dream I never thought that would happen especially when we were in the Capitol. Now? I wanted that future with her. But I wanted…no, needed my family to be there for our toasting.

After dinner, I went straight to my room and made last minute preparations. Katniss wanted to spend a couple of hours with Prim before she joined me for the night. She knew this would the last time she would be with her because she didn't know when she would see her little sister after we left.

"Did you say…goodnight to Prim," I asked Katniss as she entered my quarters. Tears brimmed her eyes as she nodded her head. "We don't have to go, Katniss." I was giving her one last opportunity to change her mind. She shook her head.

"No," she returned firm and calm. "I will miss her, Peeta. But I know she and Mom will be safe here." She had made up her mind. After that, the need to talk wasn't necessary as we changed in our traveling clothes and slid into bed.

"We should get some sleep for a couple of hours," I suggested. "Once we leave, we won't be sleeping for a few hours to make sure we give ourselves enough distance from this place."

Once the curfew was enforced, Katniss and I planned to sneak out a little after midnight. At that time, the fence was turned off for two minutes as patrols outside the fenced area returned and another group took their turn. It was the perfect moment to make our escape.

"I don't know if I can," she admitted. Her head rested on the crook of my neck as her hand lay on my chest on top of my racing heart.

Even though I told Katniss to get some sleep, I barely was able to take my own advice. However, the next thing I knew, my alarm clocked rang––ten minutes before midnight. "Katniss." I nudged her softly. She groaned. "Babe, it's time to wake up." She opened her eyes. "Sorry, but we got to go now." Two minutes later, Katniss exited the restroom just as I placed three letters on my kitchen table. Two written by Katniss––one addressed to Prim and the other to her Mom. The other short note I wrote to Commander Eisenman.

I took one last look at my quarters. "Good-bye," I muttered to myself as Katniss latched her pack onto her back. "Last chance, Katniss. This is it. Once we leave, there is no turning back."

She leaned over and kissed me. Her kiss was soft and full of promise. In another time, I would have grabbed and kissed her senseless. It didn't feel right to me to make love to her while we stayed in the compound. And, it probably didn't helped that if I did, I would wonder if Mrs. Everdeen could sensed that I ravaged her daughter not a mere 20 yards away from her residence. Sex was the last thing on our mind as we planned our escape. Now was definitely not the time.

I led Katniss to the area for our escape––the place that barely was patrolled due to the heavily fenced electrical net and the spot where the soldiers replaced patrolling duty. We hid in the shadows behind the soldiers' bunker. Inside I could the cacophony of snores that resonated in the air.

"How much longer before the switch?" Katniss asked. I looked at my watch––a pair I 'borrowed' from the supply room.

"Ten minutes."

Katniss grabbed my hand. I sighed as her touch calmed my racing heart. I squeezed her hand back in gratitude. Suddenly, a noise sounded behind us––footsteps. I sensed and felt Katniss's panic. "It's coming from behind us." I looked behind her. A figure appeared. It was difficult to tell who is was as it made its way to our direction. "Stay here."

"I'm coming with you," Katniss bit back. I wasn't about to argue. We were running out of time. As quietly as I could I walked around the bunker as I could position myself behind the intruder. If it was another spy from the Capitol I was ready to confront him. The figure was shorter and slightly slimmer in frame. He wore dark clothing with a hoodie to hide his head. As quietly as I could I trailed behind him as he was crouched behind a corner of the bunker looking where Katniss and I were hidden moments before.

I quickly placed my hand over his mouth and dragged him towards a line of trees. He struggled against my hold on him but not enough to overtake me. Once I knew we were at a safe distance, I turned him around and pulled his hoodie from his head. A pair of blue eyes and blond hair greeted me. I gasped in shock.

"Prim?" Katniss hissed in anger. "What the fuck? What are you doing here?"

"You scared the shit out of me, Peeta!" she returned as she placed a hand over her chest. There was a look of panic, fear and anxiety in her eyes.

"I'm sorry––" I started. I hoped I didn't hurt her but before I could say another word, Katniss grabbed Prim's hand.

"What the hell, Primrose!" I flinched. I knew Katniss was furious. She used her sister's full name whenever she was mad at her, which wasn't often. Rare even.

Prim appeared contrite but also defiant. "I was following you."

"Well, that obvious," her sister spat back. "Why are following us? And why the hell are you dressed like that?" Prim wore dark clothes, boots and a travelling pack latched on her back.

"I'm going with you," she returned. "I know that you and Peeta are going to District 12."

Katniss shook her head. "How did even know what Peeta and I had been planning?"

"I knew what you've been up to, Katniss. You've been really quiet and secretive these past three days and…" She flinched. "I knew you were going to leave. You're going to District 12 to see Dad. And, don't deny it."

"What?" Katniss inquired as she controlled her tone. "How could you have known?"

"I…I…snuck into Peeta's room and…found the stuff you've been collecting," she confessed. I kept the supplies and provisions we needed for our travels in my bedroom.

"What?" her sister said in a tone of disbelief and anger. "What the hell were you doing in Peeta's bunk and why the hell were you in his bedroom?" If we weren't in precarious state I would have laughed at Katniss's tone. There was a tinge of jealousy in her line of questioning.

"Peeta asked me to collect a few herbs for him…and I was delivering them to his quarters," Prim huffed. "I'm not stupid, Katniss."

"That does not explain––" Suddenly the familiar buzzing sound of electrical fence switched off.

"Shit," I exclaimed as I grabbed both Katniss and Prim's hands. I wedged behind a tall bush just in time to notice three figures appear from the forest and another group waiting to meet them from inside the compound. My mind raced. This was our only chance. Katniss and I needed to leave and head towards the abandoned train depot for the next delivery.

This was not the time to argue. I picked up the largest rock and threw it against the side of the bunker opposite us. It crashed into the side of the building creating the distraction we needed. The noise startled and alerted the patrol that they immediately went to investigate the disturbance. "Let's go," I instructed as soon as the way to the forest was clear. Katniss turned to Prim.

"Go back, you are not coming with us," she demanded.

"No, I'm coming with you," Prim challenged her. "You can't make me go back."

"You are not ––"

"Katniss, we have to leave now," I interrupted. Both patrols teams were gone and the Everdeens sister s were arguing. "Or we don't go at all." I was losing patience.

She peered back to her little sister. Prim's face was calm and firm. I could tell she wasn't going to budge. She was determined to come with us. She was after all like her sister, an Everdeen––stubborn, proud and willful. "If you don't let me go with you, I'll got straight to Shane and Maddy and tell them you left." It was a threat. She wasn't bluffing and Katniss knew it. It was a stand-off. They were wasting time.

"I'm going and you two can stand here and argue all night long," I said. Katniss had to decide what to do and do it fast. Go with me and take her sister with or stay behind.

She looked into her sister's eyes. "You will do everything I tell you to. No questions asked, no arguing," she stated. "Once you leave with us, there is no going back. No crying, complaining or whining."

"I won't," Prim accepted the terms easily.

"I mean it. It's dangerous out there––"

"Can we go already, Katniss, Please?" she begged. "You can lecture me later." Katniss huffed back in response.

Twenty minutes later, Katniss walked beside Prim as I led them away from the compound. She was sulking, angry and quiet. She ignored her sister's attempt to alleviate the tension between them. There wasn't anything I could do. They had to settle their issue between them.

I looked around me. I was out in the woods again. This time it was on my own accord. This was it. We were out and doing what we had planned. The only hiccup was Prim. I couldn't let their tension become a problem and have it distract Katniss.

"Katniss, can you come here for second," I asked as I opened my arms to her. She walked straight into my arm without a single word or hesitation. "It's going to be okay, Katniss. I promise." She started to argue but I stopped her. "You know you'll be worrying all the time when we left. Who else can take care of Prim better than anyone?" She shook her head. "You, Katniss. You. No more fighting." She didn't want to have Prim with us but I also knew she would have been worried about her. She loved her sister that much.

"Prim?" I extended my arm to her. She enclosed her slender arms around Katniss and me. We stood together in a tight embrace for a few minutes. We were on our own, but we had each other.

We had a mission––to help our fathers and the people of District 12. We were homesick as well. I missed my home and the bakery. Katniss missed her woods and hunting. We miss the life we once had. We needed our families, whole and safe. We couldn't rest until we put with them together again. We weren't safe nor did we felt safe. Back at the compound, we thought we had gained our freedom, that we would assist Mockingjay with his war against Snow. Our future was on hold because of an egomaniac who thought he owned our lives and was scouring Panem to find us. We would not become puppets in the game that Snow had forced us into. Situations around us made it perfectly clear that we needed to master our destiny, command our own fate.

It was worth fighting for.

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AN: Thank you for reading this chapter. My thanks to everyone especially those who stuck by me until the end. This was a labor of love: 1 year and 10 months, 62 chapters, 800+ reviews/comments and close to one million words. And the story is not over. I am taking a hiatus for a few months to write the second book. In the meantime, depending upon the responses I get for this last chapter I will or will not post the second book or will post another story instead. I wanted to at least address a few things to end this story. It was important to me to address Shane and Maddy's relationship in the last two chapter, their characters will be very important for the development of the storyline in the second book. I know that there are a lot of unresolved issues and questions––Cinna and Portia's fate, Effie and the stylist importance and roles, District 13, the fate of Haymitch, Mockingjay, Jimmy and District 12, Gale and the rebellion. Stay tune. Have a great weekend.

Until then, I hope that everyone had a great Christmas and I wish that everyone will have a very safe and Happy New Year.