"Crisis alert!"

Ellie dropped the spoonful of soup she had been lifting towards her mouth and sighed.

"What is it, Elkay? Giant ants? Demonic baboons?"

"Nope. Gorillas."

"Demonic gorillas?"

"No, just regular gorillas," Elkay said breezily, "They can talk, though. They're an indigenous tribe in Asterpara. They're living near an active volcano that's about to erupt. We need to move them."

Ellie raised her eyebrow.

"Are you sure you aren't just saying that so you can exploit some kind of natural resource nearby?"

"Who do I look like, James Cameron? Tangent: who would win in a fistfight between James Cameron and Abraham Lincoln?"

"You're not gonna suggest a fistfight between two directors?"

"No. That would make sense."

"Abraham Lincoln. Back on topic: what are we gonna do about these gorillas?"

Elkay smiled cockily.

"You are gonna negotiate with them and try to make them see that evacuating the mountain is the best possible option. They're super sensitive to violence and shouting, so make sure not to offend them in any way."

Ellie nodded.

"And where will you be?"

"I'm spending the day with my adopted starfish sister."

Ellie winced at the mention of her least favorite animal. Recovering from the sick spell, she pulled out a notepad and plucked a feather from her wing.

"Okay. What do I need to bring on this trip?"

"Hiking gear, I guess. What's more important is what you shouldn't bring. You have to block off all of your magic for the day. The tribe won't listen to you if they think you're a threat."

Ellie sighed.

"I finally get my magic back, and it turns out my first mission requires that I get rid of it. Outstanding."

Elkay smiled.

"I'm sure you'll do fine, with or without your magic. You once survived on a wild Isla Nublar with the power of speech alone, remember. The ability to form settlements comes naturally to you."

Ellie nodded.

"Alright. I'll do it."

Elkay grinned, elbowing her shoulder.

"Good. I'm proud of you for taking initiative."

"It's not so much taking initiative as doing everything you say," Ellie pointed out.

Elkay shrugged.

"Well, as long as it gets done."

***TSJWFEW***

As Ellie strolled down the pier with a backpack on her shoulders, she was surprised to hear a second pair of feet jogging up to her. When she saw that it was Alan, she smiled.

"Hi. What are you doing here?"

"I could ask the same of you," he replied, slightly out of breath.

"I'm supposed to be negotiating with a bunch of apes," Ellie explained, hoping that he wouldn't ask for details.

"Fun. Can I come with?"

Ellie blinked.

"Uh . . ."

"I promise, I won't get in the way. I already packed."

He turned around, and sure enough, he was wearing a backpack with several water bottles dangling from it. Ellie cocked her head and narrowed her eyes.

"Alan . . . What are you doing?"

"I thought I could hang out with you, since the dragon isn't around," he said casually.

Ellie hummed.

"Well, this isn't really a 'hanging out' kind of mission."

Alan's mouth twitched.

"Do you not want me to come?"

Ellie gulped.

"Well, I mean, you can come, but I'm not sure you'd enjoy yourself."

"As long as we're together, I always enjoy myself."

Suddenly, Elkay ran down the dock, pushing Alan to the side with her foot.

"Out of my way, you old fart!"

Ellie shot him an apologetic glance. Elkay lowered her front feet to the ground and gave one of her massive, pointy-toothed grins.

"Are you ready?"

Ellie nodded.

"My magic is gone for the day."

"Great! I'll drop you off in Asterpara."

Ellie held up her hand.

"Wait. Alan wants to come, too."

Elkay turned around slowly and stared at Alan, who smiled nervously. She burst into laughter.

"Oh my god, that's hilarious! He's going to get himself killed!"

Alan's eyes darted to the side and back. Ellie stepped between them.

"Shush, Elkay. He can come."

Elkay folded her ears back, suddenly serious.

"This is a bad idea, Ellie."

She gave her a meaningful stare.

"He can come."

Elkay sighed, turning her eyes to the sky pointedly.

"Fine. But don't blame me when things turn sour."

***TSJWFEW***

Alan was blown away by how easy it was to travel to the land of Asterpara. Elkay had a very unique way of making the journey, namely by water. She simply dove into the ocean and exploded from an Asterparan pond, spraying water everywhere. It was downright miraculous.

Ellie had mentioned that her grandmother was capable of doing this, but Alan never fully understood what she meant. She wasn't particularly good at explaining magic in a concise way. Strange, considering she was supposed to be narrating the "story". Then again, writing wasn't exactly her strong suit. Alan had read snippets of the manuscript, and noticed that there was very little information about the settings of each scene. He was inclined to believe that Ellie was very forgetful, or else the auto-narration (whatever that entailed) wasn't suited for such things. In any case, he dared not ask about the writing. The last time someone questioned the purpose of documenting Ellie's life, Elkay butted in, reciting a lengthy speech about the importance of Fiction. Of course, the dragon had now departed, so Alan would be able to discuss these matters more openly . . . if Ellie was willing, of course.

For a while, they hiked up the lush volcano in silence. Alan wasn't too happy about the lack of conversation, but he didn't complain. He simply took in the scenery while he waited for something to happen. They were in a tropical jungle, it seemed, not too different from Isla Nublar's biome. Of course, Isla Nublar didn't have giant, man-eating plants. Alan jumped back as an abnormally large Venus flytrap snapped at him. Hearing the noise, Ellie wheeled around and stepped in front of him defensively.

"Excuse me, sir, but I'd appreciate it if you could leave my friend alone."

The plant nodded.

"Of course, Queen Ellie."

Alan watched it sink into the forest with wide eyes. Ellie grinned playfully.

"You surprised?"

"I've seen you talk to plants before, but they've never replied until now."

Ellie smiled.

"Well, things are a little different around here."

Alan nodded.

"I'm sure you're used to it by now, since you're always going on adventures."

Ellie frowned and crossed her arms.

"Alright, Mr. Passive-Agressive. Tell me what's on your mind."

"Well, I-"

"Walk and talk."

They started walking. Alan took a deep breath.

"You haven't been around, recently."

Ellie's wings twitched.

"I've been trying as hard as I can. I visit Charlie almost every day. You know that."

"But you never spend time with your friends."

"It's hard," Ellie replied brusquely.

"Ian was just saying that he hasn't seen you in months," Alan continued, "Why don't you visit him or something?"

She stared ahead vacantly.

"It's hard to find the time."

"You seem to have enough time to make sure that Claire is alright . . ."

Ellie stopped walking. She turned around deliberately.

"Alan, do you remember what it was like when we were the center of this story? We had a ton of shit piled up on us all at once. I don't want to subject my friends to that conflict again. That's why I don't focus on our adventures. I'm busy with Claire now."

"But you don't need to help Claire."

"I do," Ellie stated firmly, "It's my fault she got dragged into this."

"How?"

Ellie hummed.

"Okay, it's actually Elkay's fault, but that's irrelevant. What happened with Zebil was not preventable, and what happened with Eponymicus was even less so. Now that I have things somewhat under control, I can make sure that my family's actions don't harm the Dearing family any more than they already have."

"That's funny, because you seemed to be in charge when Henry's daughter slaughtered Claire's closest friends."

Alan knew that he had gone too far when he saw the look on Ellie's face. She clenched her fists and stalked forward dangerously.

"That was because of Neith. She was-"

"It doesn't matter!" Alan interrupted defiantly, "You can't just blame everything on the magic creature of the week! Your grandmother has hundreds of relatives that despise her, and they always seem to interfere with your plans. If they're mad enough to seek revenge against her all the time, what does that say about her character?"

Ellie frowned.

"She needs me. Do you have even the slightest idea what she's been through?"

"I don't care," Alan asserted, "She's crazy, and I want her gone."

Ellie's wings trembled with rage.

"She's not just a puppy I found on the side of the road: she's my grandmother. I can't just kick her out. Since when was it your decision, anyway?"

"Since always!" Alan snarled, "We used to make decisions together."

"So, what's stopping us now?" Ellie retorted.

"The dragon. Ever since she moved to our world, you've been going on pointless expeditions. Some of her habits have rubbed off on you, too. She's putting an inordinate amount of stress on our family."

"But she's a part of our family!" Ellie insisted, "Without us, she has nothing!"

"That's her own fault!" Alan barked, "She's a miserable, old creature with no friends, and you're only enabling her by pretending to put up with her shit!"

Ellie spread her wings in a frightening display.

"STOP IT! YOU'LL ONLY MAKE THINGS WORSE!"

Alan glared at her bitterly.

"If you care about our family, you'll tell her to leave."

Ellie took a step forward, but suddenly, a large gorilla swung down from the trees and grabbed her by the waist. Alan stood petrified as she was carried away, kicking and screaming without any magic to defend herself. When he snapped out of his stupor, he ran after her.

"Ellie! . . . Ellie! . . ."

Suddenly, he was knocked over by the wind from a pair of beating wings. He sat up and frowned.

"Oh, and I suppose you were listening in on our conversation, you miserable dragon?"

"Actually, I'm Neithhotep, but thank you for being so insensitive," she replied, "I thought for sure you'd be able to distinguish me from my daughter by now. Speaking of which, her time with Raven was cut short because of 'unknown reasons'. She was checking up on Ellie via the manuscript, and all of a sudden, she started sobbing, ran away to grab her egg, then flew off to god knows where, leaving a sloppy note behind. I read through it, and whatever you said about her must have done some serious damage, because she started rambling about Jurassic Park 3 and how she was causing bad things to happen . . . I don't understand, really. All I know is that she's gone now, and it's all because of something you said. Don't get me wrong: I don't care about any of this, but Ellie won't be too happy when she finds out, so I'd fix this as soon as possible if I were you."

During all of this, Alan had been staring at her with his mouth agape. Unimpressed by his reaction, Neithhotep rolled her eyes and took off, beating her wings slowly.

"Good luck. If you need to resort to overly-simplistic tactics, my daughter can be lured out of hiding with chocolate. Don't ask me why."

Alan blinked.

"How do I get back?"

Neithhotep opened her mouth, and a bright sphere shot out from her throat. It opened into a glowing portal.

"Whatever happens, leave me out of this," she said threateningly, "I'm only the messenger."

When she was gone, Alan stood up and brushed himself off. In the span of only a few minutes, he had managed to lose Ellie and frighten away her grandmother. The logical thing to do would be to fix one of those two problems. Alan knew that he was in no state to fight a tribe of angry apes, so that left only one option.

He was going to find Elkay.

***TSJWFEW***

As it turned out, searching for a distressed dragon was easier than he thought. All he had to do was wave around a specific kind chocolate bar, and the dragon waddled out into the open with tears streaming down her face. She had been hiding deep in the jungles of Isla Nublar with her egg. Perhaps she couldn't find the strength to leave her new home permanently.

"I know this was a trick, but can I have the chocolate?" she whispered.

Alan crossed his arms.

"Only if you help me find Ellie."

"Why?!" Elkay sobbed, "Get my mother to do it! She's more sensible!"

Alan frowned.

"No games. Ellie's in trouble. Help me."

Elkay sniffled noisily.

"But I'm tearing the family apart."

Alan rubbed his forehead.

"Listen, you like story-things, right? Just look at this as the adventure that will bring us together emotionally, ending with your redemption. Or something."

Elkay nodded reluctantly.

"That makes sense. But why would you ask for my help if you hate me?"

Alan held the chocolate bar away from her claws as she made a grab for it.

"I hate you more than I've hated anyone in my entire life. But I love Ellie more than I hate you, and that's what counts. Now, are you with me or not?"

Elkay grabbed the chocolate bar and unfolded her wings.

"Let's ride!"

***TSJWFEW***

By the time they reached the gorilla's land, both Elkay and Alan sensed that something was horribly wrong. The jungle was so silent that it seemed to be filled with a kind of counter-noise. The lack of sound took on a life of its own, creeping across the ground like an invisible fog. That was the general vibe, anyway. Elkay landed, ears twitching, and shivered.

"I sense dark magic."

Alan gulped.

"Is it from the gorillas?"

Elkay shook her head.

"The gorillas don't use magic. I can't imagine where it's coming from . . ."

Alan kneeled down to examine the ground. Several dark shapes were scattered among the fallen leaves. Their structure was eerily familiar. Alan picked up one of the larger plumes and ran his finger down the ebony barbs. There was no mistaking the shape, but the color was completely wrong.

Suddenly, Ellie stumbled out of the trees. Her clothing was torn up in places, and she was covered in blood that was not her own. She collapsed in Alan's arms, tears sliding down her cheeks.

"They're dead," she choked, "The gorillas are all dead."

Elkay twisted her neck rapidly to stare at her in alarm.

"Dead? How?"

Ellie shivered.

"A- A giant cassowary swooped down and attacked them. It wiped out the entire colony. There were no survivors."

Elkay blinked.

"No survivors except you, you mean. I guess that solves the problem of relocating them, anyway. Being killed by a giant bird is much more humane than burning up in lava."

Ellie shook her head.

"No . . . No, it wasn't."

Elkay shrugged.

"Whatever. Hey, have you guys noticed that our adventures seem to be ending with counter-resolutions, recently? Like, we'll go through all the motions, albeit in a somewhat rushed manner, then all of a sudden, there will be a Deus Ex Machina or a really forced resolution of some kind. I'm not saying we should adhere to the three act structure, but this is some lazy Godard bullshit. What's up with that?"

Ellie was trembling furiously. Alan put his arms around her and stroked her hair.

"Let's get you home. Elkay, come back too. I didn't mean what I said. I was just upset."

Elkay grinned.

"Hooray! Even though we didn't get a satisfying conclusion, our emotional arc-"

Alan shook his head pointedly. Elkay looked down at Ellie and gulped.

"Yeah, okay. Let's go home."

She was about to start walking, but she turned back at the last second.

"Do you need to talk, Ellie?"

"Why?" she asked in alarm, pulling away from Alan so suddenly that it made him jump.

"No reason, no reason!" Elkay bleated, "I'm just wondering if this event traumatized you or something. It must have been brutal to watch."

Ellie nodded slowly.

"Yes. It was. It reminded me of the Stegoceratops Massacre. Only a monster could do something like that."

Elkay nodded.

"Cassowaries are known to be violent. Never heard of one flying, though. Are you sure it 'swooped' down?"

Ellie nodded.

"She did."

Elkay hummed.

"Well, there you go. We have an avian criminal on our hands. I'll look into it as soon as possible. First, I need to get back to my egg."

Elkay trotted away, humming a forcefully cheerful tune. Ellie walked behind her, leaning on Alan for support. They climbed down the hill, headed for the small pond from which they came.

Behind them, a cloud of black feathers swirled ominously in the wind.