HIGHWAY TO HELL
PARODY ONESHOT
A SUPER SECRET AGENT WARSAW FISHER FIC
A lone hovercycle roared down the hot and dry sands of the landmass of Oblivia.
The vehicle roared like an angered bull and stormed down the desert like a stampede of buffalo, the sand being kicked up like it was a tornado.
A lone figure sat on the speeding cycle, completely oblivious to his surroundings due to his high speed.
"Warsaw, do you copy me?" a voice rang through the man's head, "Our Colonel and The Rook are stuck in cave nearby."
"Ok." the man grunted as he received the information on his visor, "I always have to pick them up..."
"Well you are our only fully AI Android. We can't afford to lose another BLADE." the voice responded, "Just don't screw this up! This is a high priority mis-" the woman was cut off before she finished.
"I'm the only Android who could do this." Warsaw scoffed as he changed course, "There's no one- DAH!" he barely avoided a Potamus that was basking by an oasis.
The Potamus bellowed when it was startled, then ran into the water.
"Piece of sh- WAH!" Warsaw crashed into a rock and was catapulted fifty feet in the air.
Nearby, another BLADE Operative was on the mission as well, speeding down her hovercycle, unaware of the body plummeting towards her.
"BWAH!" Warsaw landed right behind the BLADE, causing the Hovercycle to skid upon contact.
"Huh!?" The BLADE gasped as she tried to regain control, "HEY!" she was grabbed from behind.
"Sorry! I need this for a top secret mission!" Warsaw grabbed the young woman and threw her off, then shuffled forward to grab the handles.
"Aghghaghghahgh..." The BLADE's grunts and screams were drowned out by the engine of the hovercycle and the distance.
"Felicia, are you- Hey!" a man appeared on the cycle's command module, "What happened to Felici-"
"I am Warsaw Fisher, F.B.I." the android pulled out his ID badge, "I had to... Borrow this cycle." he informed as he avoided another stone.
"Where's Felicia?" the man asked, "Argh... Forget it! Just be careful! There's a sandstorm headed your way!" he warned and shut off.
"What a looney, I would have gotten the notification b-" Warsaw paused when he received a red warning directly into his system.
Dead ahead, a large cloud of calamitous sand, dirt, water, and lightning broiled up from the sea.
"Uh... Oh..." Warsaw muttered, "Uh..."
KAPOW! A huge bolt of lightning struck nearby, a prelude of what was to come.
"Stupid BLADEs..." Warsaw growled as he braced for impact with the sandstorm, then pierced the wall of sand with great struggle.
The sand whipped and struck the intruders, and the lightning crackled above them.
"How did these stupid-" Warsaw read the mission details, "The Colonel got injured by a Grex!? Ugh..." he growled as he avoided a huge wave of sand.
The android expertly manuevered through the storm, his android eyes, superior to those of mims, allowed him to see through the veil.
"Ha ha- GAH!" Warsaw growled when he ran over a Blatta, the insect's insides striking him and the hovercycle, "Stupi- NOOOOOO!" the android yelled when he saw the end of a cliff ahead of him.
The hovercycle over passed the end of the large mesa and shot clean off into the air, being lifted a few seconds by the gale of the sandstorm before gravity took course.
POOMP! The Hovercycle landed on something, causing a large roar to sound.
"What the-" Warsaw looked under him to see a large scaly body, then saw that he was on top of Leviath.
"RAARRRRR!" the Leviath roared and did a barrel roll, making the android plummet again.
"WAAAAAAA!" Warsaw lost grip of his cycle and fell down, only to be picked up by a tornado of sand, which spun him around and around and launched him high into the air.
As expected, the android went into a sleeping state.
"Argh..." Warsaw woke up covered in a thick sheet of sand, "Plagh!" he spat out some of the grains and looked up to see that the sky was clear.
The hovercycle was half buried nearby, the front sticking out like it was part of an ancient ruin. The android pulled it out then continued his way, only to see that a dropship was headed in the direction of the objective.
"Oh no you don't..." Warsaw growled and revved up his motorcycle, then raced against the dropship down the crusty road, "Suck on this!" he yelled and introduced extra power to the engine which caused it rocket ahead.
It only took a few moments for Warsaw to see the entrance of the cave.
"Time to finish the mission with a bang..." the android smirked and started to slow down, "HA!" he turned sharply and jumped off, launching to the mouth of the cave and rolling to land.
Elma and Cross saw as the android rolled up to them, then jumped up.
"This is Android Agent Warsaw Fisher." Warsaw spoke as he looked at Elma and Cross, "I have made con-"
KRASH! The hovercycle, which had also been launched by the sudden turn and stop, rammed straight into the android.
"WAH!" Warsaw was knocked into a boulder, only to emerge moments after. "I thought... It would be cool to... do that..." he stretched in pain.
"Uh..." Elma and Cross looked at each other.
"Ok... So I rescued you." Warsaw walked up to them, "It was only natural though." he looked at Elma, "But you, getting taken down by a Grex-"
"Hey, back off." Cross pushed Warsaw back, "She's shaken up. She was Lost and I Found her." he said pridefully.
"Ok..." Warsaw grumbled, "Yeesh... It seems you're a bit..."
"DON'T YOU SAY IT, WARSAW!" Cross yelled and glared at him.
"It seems you're a bit... Cross..."
SM's Time:
Behold, Mortals! I live!
And it seems I can safely say that the attack was repulsed...
Now, I hope you like it, mate.