Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot.
Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic
"Let the fire outside yourself
You are not the one who made this mess
No you've got to pride yourself
Take all of that is better found
You will be the one to throw it away"
Kina Grannis - Throw It Away
"My love,
I arrived at the training camp in Ireland two days ago. You don't know how much I miss you and Jamie. Does he eat adequately? I hope that he doesn't prevent you from working, though. Like I said before, if you have any problem, my mum will help you, so don't hesitate to go to the Burrow sometime.
What can I say? The weather is quite awful, despite the fact that we are already in June, but my team-mates are great so far. I knew that it would be a hard year, but now that I'm here, I understand that it will be far worse than what I imagined. I realise, given all the things that we have to learn, why it isn't possible for us to go back home whenever we want too. But, even if it's too soon for me to talk about it, I have the impression that some of the best players can have the opportunity to go back home at the end of every three-month session. Amazing, isn't it? If it's the truth, be sure that I'll do my best during the first three months.
I miss you already... You don't know how hard it is to go to sleep without giving a kiss to James every night. I've got a lot of photographs with me, but of course, it's not the same. And it's also not the same to look at you without being able to kiss you or to hug you, Harry.
Never forget that you're the love of my life,
Please kiss James for me, and tell him that his mum loves him very much.
Ginny
PS: You can send me all the letters that you want, I'll read and cherish all of them."
XxX
"Harry,
I've waited for a letter from you last week, but, obviously, you're too busy to take some time to write me. Anyway... I hope that you're not too overwhelmed by your job, and by all the things that you need to do with James. My mum sent me a letter and told me that you let her take care of James last Friday. I'm happy to see that things are settled between the two of you. She is more than happy to take care of James, and it reassures me to know that my son is with one of my relatives when you're not available.
Talking about your job... Mum told me that you've decided to stop working for some time? Why didn't you tell me about it? I don't know what to think about it, though. I'm happy to know that, this way, you'll be able to take care of James, but... I don't want you to take such decision because I told you that I wasn't happy to stay at home when you were travelling so much. It's your job, Harry, and I know how much it means to you: being an Auror is your destiny, and you have to continue to ascend through the ranks. Who knows? Maybe that you're going to be one of the youngest Minister of Magic one day.
Well, I guess that we will have the opportunity to talk about it when I'll be back home. Do you remember what I said to you in my previous letter? It's true! The three best players will be able to go back home for a weekend at the end of the first three-month session. For now, everything goes well, so I'm still in the race, and I hope to win.
I have a lot of fun here, despite the fact that the training is hard. Do you realise that I wake up around 6 a.m, I go to the training at 7 and my day ends around 8 p.m? Trust me: it's hard to work out during so many hours, especially after so many years spent without playing at a high level. But I do my best, and I hope that it will be enough to be able to spend 48 hours with the two men of my life.
Never forget that I love you, Harry. I know that it will be a hard year but you need to rely on the fact that we are married and that these twelve months are going to pass in a heartbeat. Then, we'll be reunited. Don't be too angry at me, please.
I love you,
Ginny."
Harry rubbed his eyes red with the lack of sleep after having read Ginny's letter for the umpteenth time. James was crying in his chamber, and it was the second night in a row when he couldn't sleep properly. With a sigh, he put down the piece of parchment onto the coffee table and get up from the couch, heading to James' room. Was his son sick? He didn't know, to be honest. He had never learned the spells to know if an infant was sick, and he was regretting it right now. Ginny knows them, he thought before taking James out of his crib.
The one-year-old baby was red, surely tired of having yelled so much and obviously disturbed by the uncomfortable heat of his room. His father went to the window to open it, and returned to the armchair right in front of the window opening. He started to rub James' back, and after a few minutes, his son started to relax into his arms. Maybe that it was just a nightmare after all, like the one that he had had the night before. And several times last week too...
Harry kissed his forehead and continued to rock him at a slow pace. These moments spent with James were peaceful, despite the fact that they always occured in the middle of the night. James' baby smell was relaxing, and hugging his thin frame against his own protective body was a relief for Harry. During the last week, he had spent his days and nights with James, taking advantage of this time with his son to make all the things that he hadn't had the opportunity to do before: going to the park with him, spending some time at the pool when the heat was unbearable, and reading James' favourite stories before sleeping.
A link was growing between them, stronger that it had been in the past. Not that Harry hadn't payed attention to his son before: but now that he could spend all his time with James, he realised all the little – but oh so important – things that he had missed in the past when he was working hard or when he was abroad. Somehow during this week, he had begun to ease the anger that he was feeling toward Ginny and had started to take advantage of this year alone to do everything that he hadn't been able to do before: spending quality times with James and making the most out of it.
XxX
When Hermione knocked at the Potters' door that Tuesday morning, she didn't expect to see Harry so tired when he opened the door.
"Mmh, am I interrupting something important... such as your sleep?," she asked when she entered into the house.
"Don't worry about it," Harry muttered while closing the door behind her. "James didn't sleep very well last night."
"It's not the first time," Hermione retorted in a worried voice. "Did Ginny tell you about his nightmares before?"
"No, she didn't."
"Did you ask her?," she insisted while following her friend in the kitchen, staring at him as he was preparing two cups of coffee.
"I didn't," he sighed. "If you want to know everything, I didn't answer to her letters, and I don't plan to do it anytime soon."
"Harry..."
"Don't, Hermione," he cut her off before handing her a cup of coffee. "I think that I've read her letters a million times already. And even if I'm not as angry as I was last week, it still hurts."
Hermione remained quiet, knowing that the last days were a real pain for Harry. He had stopped working – except every Friday afternoon when he needed to go to the Auror Office to debrief the week with his co-workers – and was now almost a single father for a year. She knew that Harry wasn't angry at the fact of taking care of James, quite the contrary: during her few visits at his house, she had noticed how pleased her friend was to be with his son, to play with him, to give him anything that he needed. She had witnessed his happiness when James called him "dada", and his laughs when he gave him a bath. Yes; even if Harry was hurt, definitely hurt by Ginny's decision, he was doing his best not to show it to his son.
Hermione had tried to be there for him whenever he needed her help; she knew that Harry would have done the same for her if she was in this situation. They had spent a few summer evenings together, and she had almost had the impression that they were back to Hogwarts during these hours, minus the fact that now, there was a toddler with them, someone to take care of.
Suddenly, the young woman saw Harry heading to the living room, his cup of coffee in his hand, and followed him.
"So you plan not to answer to you wife, to wait for her return next year and resume your life as if nothing happened?"
"She thinks that it's possible for her to return in less than three months, actually."
"I'm sorry, what?"
"You heard me... She has the possibility to come back home for a week-end at the end of the first three-months session. I guess that I'll decide what to do then."
Hermione raised a surprise eyebrow and sat down in the armchair to face her friend.
"And what are your options? You are talking as if you didn't want to resume your married life with Ginny."
She was about to take a sip of coffee when she noticed that Harry was looking away.
"Harry... Please don't tell me that you are seriously thinking about it...," she whispered.
"And what am I supposed to think about, Hermione?," he hissed, not wanting to wake James up. "As far as I know, Ginny decided to put an end to our family when she decided to leave almost without a word. She prepared her bags without even warning me, she accepted this training on her own, so tell me, please tell me why should I care about her feelings any longer?"
Hermione didn't think twice when she quickly answered.
"Because you love her."
Of course, Harry loved his wife, and it had been like that during the last ten years. He had given her everything that a woman could ask for, and beyond. If there was something obvious in all this mess, it was the love that Harry had for Ginny.
"Because you love her," she repeated, "and because James needs his two parents by his side. Even if you think that these days that you are spending with James are amazing – and I am sure that they will continue to be –, you know that James needs a mother. You two are his family..."
"She left him too," Harry interrupted her before quickly finishing his cup of coffee and putting it back onto the table. "I don't even want to think about what will happen once this training will be over."
"She left him with you," Hermione muttered. "She knew that you were here for James, and Molly too."
Harry remained silent, and Hermione pursed her lips. Even if she didn't want to upset her best friend, she had to say these things. Of course, she also thought that Ginny's behaviour was hard to forgive, but at the same time, she didn't want Harry to take this kind of decision so soon. Ginny had left almost two weeks before, and the green-eyed wizard needed to think about it before choosing what was best for him – and for James.
"Think about it, Harry. I don't want to interfere in your marriage, but... you have to talk to her, it's a bad idea to keep all these things for you. You don't have to be gentle or hypocrite, but please, don't break this link with the mother of your son."
When Harry looked up at her and sighed, Hermione knew that she had won this time.
"I'll send her a letter," he capitulated. "At least to let her know about James and his nightmares."
The brunette nodded, visibly relieved by his decision.
"And what do you plan to do today?"
"I think that I'll go to the park with James in the afternoon, do you want to come with us?"
"Count me in," Hermione accepted with a smile.
XxX
Hermione left Harry and James around six o'clock, telling him that she was invited by her parents for dinner. Once at home, Harry took care of James and eventually sat at his desk, a piece of parchment and a quill in front of him.
Several minutes passed, and Harry wasn't even sure that it was a good idea to write a letter to his wife. What could he possibly say to her? That he was hurt and that he didn't even know what to do once she'll return? He couldn't say it like that, though. Even if it was what he was thinking about at this exact moment, he knew how important this training was to Ginny, and he didn't want to force her to come back because of him: it was the last thing that he wanted.
Taking a deep breath, he finally took the quill in his trembling hand.
"Ginny,
I'm sorry I took so long before writing you a letter; life has been hectic these last few days.
Yes, I – almost – quitted my job. I'm still working on Friday afternoon, but that's pretty much it. I've seen your mum twice since your departure, and things are going well in London. James is perfect, and we are slowly adjusting to a life just the two of us.
Talking about James, he started to have nightmares since you're gone, and I don't know if it's related to your departure or not. Did it already happen in the past?
Anyway... I'm glad to hear that everything is going in Ireland. Take care of yourself.
Harry."
He read his letter several times, and noticed how cold his tone was. But he couldn't do better than that, no matter how hard he tried. Something was broken between Ginny and him, and, despite the fact that Hermione was right about the family that James needed, Harry didn't know if, one day, things would be better between them. To love someone was something, but to want to build something with the same person was another. He had tried, they had tried, but in the end, Harry realised that it was just a wall of smoke.
He knew how soon it was to make up his mind about all this situation, but, deep inside, he had the feeling that he was finally ready to put his anger and his pain aside and move on.
All for his son's sake.
Have you noticed it? I've changed the rating of this story from M to T. Why? Well, just because I don't plan to write anything too graphic for this story. This is a Romance/Family story, and especially a Family one. So I hope that you're not disappointed.
Thank you SO MUCH for your reviews, I appreciated all of them, really. I love to see how involved you are, how eager you are to give me your opinion about what I write. Really, it's amazing as a writer to know that our work is not so bad after all. So please, keep going, and I'll keep going thanks to all the love that you send me.
Things are still going slow, but I promise that it's going to change in the upcoming chapters.
I hope to read from you soon.