Purple Wedding Time
JOANNA
The two couples stood side with the Baratheon twins in the middle, the hands barely touching. Margaery had been led to the alter by her father, a man that Joanna hated with a passion. There wasn't a particular reason for her dislike but she found something unnerving about how long Lord Tyrell had lasted in power with the little intelligence he had. He couldn't stop grinning, overjoyed that his children were to be married to royalty. Joanna had barely said two sentences to her future father but with the emphasis he was putting on his daughters marriage, his sons marriage was slightly overshadowed in his eyes.
Jaime Lannister had taken the place of Robert Baratheon though Joanna knew that it was his rightful place. For once he was dressed in Lannister red and gold instead of his white Kingsguard uniform. Walking to the alter side by side the resemblence was obvious but Joanna couldn't help but stare at her betrothed who even she had to admit was stunning.
All four stood side-by-side between the towering gilded statues of the Father and the Mother and as the sun sparkled through the windows they seemed to shine.
Margaery was in ivory silk and Myrish lace, her skirts decorated with floral patterns picked out in seed pearls. As Renly's widow, she might have worn the Baratheon colors, gold and black, yet she came to them a Tyrell, in a maiden's cloak made of a hundred cloth-of-gold roses sewn to green cloth. Her brother wore the same cloak and his clothes matched, the literal embodiment of his house.
Joffrey looked near as splendid as his bride, in his doublet of dusky rose, beneath a cloak of deep crimson velvet blazoned with his stag and lion. The crown rested easily on his curls, gold on gold but kept wobbling as he continued to glance at his sister beside him. He could not stand still, and for the first time ever Joanna knew that her brother was truly scared. Joffrey had told her that morning that he required the wine to get married to a girl he didn't love but she was more worried that the alcohol would loosen his tongue and was at the risk of saying things he would regret.
The princess wore a gown that more than rivalled Margaery's. It was white with gold accents that shone as the light hit it. The material flowed and fit tightly to Joanna's lithe figure. Her sleeves were long and reached her fingers where she wore a red ring that had been a gift from her mother.
He ought to have seen it long ago.
Tyrion watched the young siblings as they were about to be married to people they didn't love and he knew that they would rather be marrying each other. At that moment Joanna and Joffrey looked exactly like Cersei and Jaime and Tyrion mused why his family where cursed to love those they couldn't have.
The seven vows were made, the seven blessings invoked, and the seven promises exchanged. When the wedding song had been sung and the challenge had gone unanswered, it was time for the exchange of cloaks.
Mace Tyrell removed his daughter's maiden cloak tenderly, while Joffrey accepted the cloak. He draped Margaery in the crimson-and-gold and leaned close to fasten it at her throat. The attention then turned to the Knights of Flowers who placed his green and gold cloak on his wife after Jaime had removed her Lannister and Baratheon one.
"With this kiss I pledge my love! " Joffrey declared in ringing tones. When Margaery echoed the words he pulled her close and kissed her lightly and without passion. The young bride closed her eyes during the embrace but Joffrey's eyes were wide open as he stared coldly at a point in the distance. Pulling away after only a second he turned away from the bride to watch as his sister repeated the vows with Loras. Their kiss was as equally lifeless however rainbow lights danced about the High Septon's crown as he solemnly declared Joffrey of the Houses Baratheon and Lannister and Margaery of House Tyrell and Joanna of the Houses Baratheon and Lannister and Loras of House Tyrell to be one flesh, one heart, one soul.
As the wedding ended the procession began. Joanna smiled as Tommen, scattering rose petals from a basket before the king and queen. After the couples followed Queen Cersei and Lord Tyrell, then Lady Tyrell with Lord Tywin. The Queen of Thorns tottered after them with one hand on Ser Kevan Lannister's arm and the other on her cane, her twin guardsmen close behind her in case she fell. Looking back Joanna cringed as she watched her uncle Tyrion walk alone, no Lady was had been willing to partner him.
Joanna all but ignored her new husband as they made the journey back to the Red Keep in their extravagant litter. Loras had his head out, waving to the common folk as his sister did but this pleasantness didn't come as naturally to Joanna and her twin who awkwardly smiled at them. She had never understand why she had to pretend to care for the poor, they would be just as poor whether or not she smiled at them. However her mother had taught her manners so she reluctantly joined her husband.
"Are you okay, Joanna?" He asked as the crowd dimmed and they neared the end of the journey.
She was about to lie but something happened in her mind and Joanna made a realisation. If she lied then what would be gained? Loras was no longer a distant stranger, he was the man she had to spend the rest of her life with. She didn't want to start their union too unpleasantly as she would just be setting herself up for years of misery. So instead she replied honestly:
"I am not fond of the common folk. I don't understand your fondness for them."
Loras seems surprised by her honesty but nonetheless explained himself to her.
"Margaery once told me something years ago that I still remember to this day. It isn't the King that makes a kingdom but the common folk. What good is a king if his army refuses to fight for him? Or his own subjects rebel? Wars aren't fought by the rulers but by the individuals that are fighting for them."
This answer shocked Joanna into silence, she closed the litter curtain and turned away from her husband.
Although evenfall was still an hour away, the throne room was already a blaze of light, with torches burning in every sconce. The guests stood along the tables as heralds called out the names and titles of the lords and ladies making their entrance. Pages in the royal livery escorted them down the broad central aisle. The gallery above was packed with musicians; drummers and pipers and fiddlers, strings and horns and skins.
Joffrey and Margaery rode into the throne room on matched white chargers and a few seconds later Joanna and Loras followed. Pages ran before them, scattering rose petals under their hooves. The king and queen had changed for the feast as well. Joffrey wore striped black-and-crimson breeches and a cloth-of-gold doublet with black satin sleeves and onyx studs. Margaery had exchanged the demure gown that she had worn in the sept for one much more revealing, a confection in pale green samite with a tight-laced bodice that bared her shoulders and the tops of her small breasts. Unbound, her soft brown hair tumbled over her white shoulders and down her back almost to her waist. Around her brows was a slim golden crown. Her smile was shy and sweet.
Where Margaery was sweet and lovely Joanna was stunning and magnificent. The innocent act had never suited the young girl and her outfit echoed that perfectly. Her gown was crimson with a deep neck and long, hanging sleeves. A golden belt sat around her waist and red ribbons were interwoven in her hair in a plaited updo that Cersei was known to wear. Joanna wanted to look intimidating and as the spitting image of Cersei Lannister it wasn't hard.
The Kingsguard escorted them onto the dais, to the seats of honor beneath the shadow of the Iron Throne, draped for the occasion in long silk streamers of Baratheon gold, Lannister crimson, and Tyrell green. Cersei embraced Joanna and Margaery and kissed their cheeks, with Joanna's kiss lasting much longer and holding more emotion. Lord Tywin did the same, and then Lancel and Ser Kevan. Joffrey received loving kisses from the bride's father and his new brother, Loras.
Joanna and Margaery exchanged pleasantries before Joanna was finally met by her brother. Joffrey was staring intensely at her and embrace her in a manner that was not quite appropriate for a brother. Her grandfather cleared his throat and the pair quickly seperated, not wishing to anger him.
When the king and queen had taken their seats with the new Lord and Lady Tyrell beside them the High Septon rose to lead a prayer.
"Let the cups be filled!" Joffrey proclaimed, when the gods had been given their due. His cupbearer poured a whole flagon of dark Arbor red into the golden wedding chalice that Lord Tyrell had given him that morning. The king had to use both hands to lift it. "To my wife the queen!"
"Margaery!" the hall shouted back at him. "Margaery! Margaery! To the queen!" A thousand cups rang together, and the wedding feast was well and truly began.
Margaery, of course, smiling sweetly as she and Joffrey shared a drink from the great seven-sided wedding chalice.
Joffrey then once again turned to the guests and raised his cup.
"To my beautiful sister Joanna."
The response was less enthusiastic than the previous toast, the princess was less loved.
Joanna took this as a signal to start drinking and as she hadn't the stomach for food she found herself become tipsy very quickly. The next few hours and performers passed as a blur as she was forced to converse with various lords and ladies and watch acts that she couldn't care less for.
Soon it was full night outside the tall windows, and Joanna thought the festivities would never end.
But suddenly Joffrey lurched suddenly to his feet. "Bring on my royal jousters!" he shouted in a voice thick with wine, clapping his hands together.
Then a pair of riders entered side by side. A wave of laughter followed them down the center aisle toward the table and Joanna couldn't help but laugh with the obsurdity of the sight.
The jousters were a pair of dwarfs. One was mounted on an ugly grey dog, long of leg and heavy of jaw. The other rode an immense spotted sow. Painted wooden armor clattered and clacked as the little knights bounced up and down in their saddles. Their shields were bigger than they were, and they wrestled manfully with their lances as they clomped along, swaying this way and that and eliciting gusts of mirth. One knight was all in gold, with a black stag painted on his shield; the other wore grey and white, and bore a wolf device. Their mounts were barded likewise. Tyrion glanced along the dais at all the laughing faces. Joffrey was red and breathless, Tommen was hooting and hopping up and down in his seat, Cersei was chuckling politely, and even Lord Tywin looked mildly amused.
The wine had all gone to Joanna's head and her boredom immediately vanished as she couldn't help but start laughing like the rest of her family. Glancing at her imp uncle she saw that he was trying not to look at the dwarfs. Giggling Joanna turned to her uncle, a smirk across her face. "Are you not impressed dear uncle? Doesn't this show that you have the potential to entertain? Maybe one day who can be as useful as your fellow beasts." Joanna couldn't stop he inner thoughts coming out as wine clouded her decisions.
As the act came to a close Joffrey was snorting wine from both nostrils. Gasping, he lurched to his feet, almost knocking over his tall two-handed chalice. "A champion," he shouted. "We have a champion!" The hall began to quiet when it was seen that the king was speaking. The dwarfs untangled, no doubt anticipating the royal thanks. "Not a true champion, though," said Joff. "A true champion defeats all challengers." The king climbed up on the table. "Who else will challenge our tiny champion?"
Joanna suddenly clapped and a giggle escaped her mouth. "Oh Joff, I have the best idea!"
She turned to Tyrion with a smile, watching his face flash with fear
"Uncle! You'll defend the honor of Joffy's realm, won't you? You can ride the pig!"
Laughing Joffrey stumbled over to his twin and pulled her up, embracing her haphazardly. "What a wonderful idea dear sister."
The laughter crashed over him like a wave. Tyrion Lannister rose in anger. He twisted his face into the most hideous mockery of a smile the Seven Kingdoms had ever seen. "Your Grace," he called, "I'll ride the pig... but only if you ride the dog!"
Joff scowled, confused. "Me? I'm no dwarf. Why me?"
Joanna frowned, this wasn't happening how she thought it would.
Stepped right into the cut, Joff. "Why, you're the only man in the hall that I'm certain of defeating!"
Joanna gasped dramatically, glaring at her uncle in dismay.
The dwarf hopped back to the floor well satisfied, and by the time he looked back Ser Osmund and Ser Meryn were helping Joff climb down as well. When he noticed Cersei glaring at him, Tyrion blew her a kiss.
Joffrey approached Tyrion, red-faced and staggering, wine slopping over the rim of the great golden wedding chalice he carried in both hands. "Your Grace," was all he had time to say before the king upended the chalice over his head. The wine washed down over his face in a red torrent. It drenched his hair, stung his eyes, burned in his wound, ran down his cheeks, and soaked the velvet of his new doublet. "How do you like that, Imp?" Joffrey mocked.
Having completely improved the mood, Joanna applauded Joffrey, smiling proudly at her twin.
Tyrion's eyes were on fire. He dabbed at his face with the back of a sleeve and tried to blink the world back into clarity. "That was ill done, Your Grace." A knight whispered.
"Not at all, Ser. Not every king would think to honor a humble subject by serving him from his own royal chalice. A pity the wine spilled."
"It didn't spill," said Joffrey, too graceless to take the retreat Tyrion offered him. "And I wasn't serving you, either."
Queen Margaery appeared suddenly at Joffrey's elbow. "My sweet king," the Tyrell girl entreated, "come, return to your place, there's another toast."
Joanna internally glared at the other girl and her silly ways. If she tried to ensnare her Joffrey with her wonton ways then she was to be poorly mistaken. There was no way Joff would ever leave his true love, Joanna told herself.
"I have no wine," Joffrey declared. "How can I drink a toast if I have no wine? Uncle Imp, you can serve me. Since you won't joust you'll be my cupbearer."
"I would be most honored."
"It's not meant to be an honor!" Joffrey screamed. "Bend down and pick up my chalice." Tyrion did as he was bid, but as he reached for the handle Joff kicked the chalice through his legs. "Pick it up! Are you as clumsy as you are ugly?" He had to crawl under the table to find the thing. "Good, now fill it with wine." He claimed a flagon from a serving girl and filled the goblet three-quarters full. "No, on your knees, dwarf." Kneeling, Tyrion raised up the heavy cup cautiously. But Joffrey took the wedding chalice one-handed, drank deep, and set it on the table. "You can get up now, Uncle."
Tyrion had to grab hold of a chair to steady himself. Joffrey laughed, and Cersei as well. Joanna smirked, happy the entertainment had improved.
"Your Grace." Lord Tywin's voice was impeccably correct. "They are bringing in the pie. Your sword is needed."
"The pie?" Joffrey took his queen by the hand. "Come, my lady, it's the pie. Dear sister, Ser Loras, join us."
The guests stood, shouting and applauding and smashing their wine cups together as the great pie made its slow way down the length of the hall, wheeled along by a half-dozen beaming cooks. Two yards across it was, crusty and golden brown, and they could hear squeaks and thumpings coming from inside it.
The young couples met beside the pie and Joffrey placed one hand on Joanna's waist before drawing his sword. As Joff drew his sword, Margaery laid a hand on his arm to restrain him. "Widow's Wail was not meant for slicing pies."
Scoffing Joanna announced. "Ser Ilyn, your sword!"
From the shadows at the back of the hall, Ser Ilyn Payne appeared.
Ser Ilyn bowed before the king and queen and Joanna and Loras ans reached back over his shoulder, and drew forth six feet of ornate silver bright with runes. He knelt to offer the huge blade to Joffrey, hilt first; points of red fire winked from ruby eyes on the pommel, a chunk of dragonglass carved in the shape of a grinning skull.
Joffrey was about to offer the sword to Margaery when instead he turned to his sister.
"Join me Joanna."
Joffrey and Joanna joined hands to lift the greatsword and swung it down together in a silvery arc, much to Margaery's annoyance. When the piecrust broke, the doves burst forth in a swirl of white feathers, scattering in every direction, flapping for the windows and the rafters. A roar of delight went up from the benches, and the fiddlers and pipers in the gallery began to play a sprightly tune. Joff took his bride in his arms, and whirled her around merrily.
As the pie was being served Joanna noticed that Tyrion was attempting to leave.
But before he could make his retreat, Joffrey was back. "Uncle, where are you going? You're my cupbearer, remember?"
"I need to change into fresh garb, Your Grace. May I have your leave?"
"No. I like the look of you this way. Serve me my wine. Fill Joanna's at the same time, her cup appears to be empty."
The king's chalice was on the table where he'd left it. Tyrion had to climb back onto his chair to reach it. Joff yanked it from his hands and drank long and deep, his throat working as the wine ran purple down his chin.
Joanna's cup was filled and she immediately took a sip before she began to feel sick. Noticing her pale face Loras remarked: "perhaps you've had enough wine for tonight." He removed the cup from in front of her.
"My lord," Margaery said, "we should return to our places. Lord Buckler wants to toast us."
"My uncle hasn't eaten his pigeon pie." Holding the chalice one-handed, Joff jammed his other into Tyrion's pie. "It's ill luck not to eat the pie," he scolded as he filled his mouth with hot spiced pigeon. "See, it's good." Spitting out flakes of crust, he coughed and helped himself to another fistful. "Dry, though. Needs washing down." Joff took a swallow of wine and coughed again, more violently. "I want to see, kof, see you ride that, kof kof, pig, Uncle. I want..." His words broke up in a fit of coughing.
Joanna was about to go to her brother when her throat felt sore. She was finding it harder to breathe and she couldn't get enough air into her lungs. Watching her distress Loras handed her a cup of water which downed, attempted to clear her throat.
The world began to blur as the water had no effect. Her breaths became harsher as she tried to draw air into
"It's, kof, the pie, noth—kof, pie." Joff took another drink, or tried to, but all the wine came spewing back out when another spate of coughing doubled him over. His face was turning red. "I, kof, I can't, kof kof kof kof..." The chalice slipped from his hand and dark red wine went running across the dais.
"He's choking," Queen Margaery gasped.
Her grandmother moved to her side. "Help the poor boy!" the Queen of Thorns screeched, in a voice ten times her size. "Dolts! Will you all stand about gaping? Help your king!"
Joanna's world was crashing down as she stumbled, her throat burning. She grasped her neck, her legs failing her.
In the back of her mind she heard Loras shout for help as she fell to the ground. Barely being able to turn her heard she saw Joffrey, only a few metres from her, lying on the ground. Guards and family surrounding him and the noises she heard from her brother made tears come to her burning eyes.
The feeling had left her limbs but just before her sight left her she saw Jaime grabbing her, clutching her failing body.
Darkness tinted her vision and began to spread across her world. The pain in her throat and head was unbearable and it was almost a relief when the world around her faded completely from view.
JBJBJBJBJBJBJBJBJBJBJB
I'm evil, aren't I?
This chapter was one of the first I had ever thought of and wrote and I originally wrote it before many other events of this story so if you notice some continuity errors then I apologise.
It was quite hard for me to write some of Joanna's meanness this chapter as before a lot of it had been quite subtle but I found that as she got drunker, like Joffrey, she becomes worse.
The next chapter should be within a few days.