A.N I'm so happy you all seem to be enjoying this story I know it's a bit different to the norm, I'm glad you have all given it a chance so thank you for the favourites, follows and your review comments.

This time when Piper awoke it was to the smell of freshly brewed coffee and the light from the winter sun illuminating the room. Yawning loudly Piper stretched her arms high above her head letting out a hiss of satisfaction as her back cracked audibly. Rolling her shoulders to try and ease some of the tenseness in her muscles she scowled slightly, she was getting to old to sleep on the couch. A husky laugh filled her ears and she turned her head, Alex was leaning against the kitchen counter her back to Piper her hand help up to her ear. Piper couldn't really hear the one sided conversation but she could hear Alex's teasing tone and she smiled glad to be hearing a bit of normality after the incident the night before.

Leaning forwards Piper grasped the cup of dark coffee from the coffee table, inhaling the sweet aroma deeply before taking a large mouthful savouring the hot liquid as it settled in her stomach. Functioning without coffee was not possible for Piper and after the little sleep she had managed to get she was extremely grateful to Alex for the hot drink. Standing up, her legs a little shaky from being cramped up on the couch, Piper moved stiffly towards the window. The view was even more impressive in the daylight and she found herself curling up on the large window sill, her legs tucked underneath body, her breath misting the glass as she looked at the street below. Piper heard Alex say goodbye to whomever she was speaking to and Piper felt her body tense. After last night she genuinely had no idea where she stood with her raven haired ex girlfriend.

"Do you want another coffee?"

Piper turned her head and smiled nodding in Alex's direction she stood up and made her way over to were Alex was standing propped against the kitchen worktop.

"I'd forgotten how decent your coffee is its been far to long" Piper could have slapped herself in the face her foot and mouth syndrome kicking in as usual. Alex just nodded her smile becoming strained and Piper winced "I'm sorry"

"No matter"

Alex filled Piper's mug with fresh coffee and Piper thanked her profusely they then settled into an awkward silence each not knowing what to say to the other.

"So what time will you be leaving?"

Piper wasn't surprised, not really, by Alex's question but it still didn't stop the hurt that she felt at hearing it. The hurt must have shown as Alex's face creased a strained "Piper..." leaving her lips.

"No I get it"

Piper felt as though she needed a moment to regroup so she moved back to the couch and sat nursing her warm coffee mug between her hands. The confidence she had felt in the early hours of the morning while watching Alex sleep, in her arms that had instinctively wrapped around her protectively, had all but disappeared and she wished it would make an appearance. Alex settled down heavily next to her and Piper turned to her hesitantly. Alex looked better this morning her eyes brighter although the deep black bags remained. Piper wasn't sure what she expected but after the events of the night before she was surprised Alex looked so well.

"Are you going to tell me about it?" Alex just turned her head away in response "Look I get it but after last night I think you owe me an explanation"

"I don't owe you anything"

Piper choked down the anger that was invoked at such a response forcing herself to keep calm. Shouting wouldn't get them anywhere.

"Well I think you do. Think about if the tables where turned how would you respond?" Before Alex could reply Piper spoke again "Stupid question I don't want to know how you would feel if it was me"

Alex looked indignant "Are you implying I wouldn't care? because I would Piper, fuck you for thinking I wouldn't"

Piper just shook her head incredulous "You walked out on me! You said you didn't want our relationship anymore I think that's a clearer indication than any of exactly how you feel about me Alex"

Alex just snorted dismissively "You don't know anything"

"Well then tell me"

Piper didn't care that the desperation was now leaking into her voice this was a conversation that was long overdue and she was desperate for answers.

"Alex please this isn't fair it wasn't fair 6 months ago and it certainly isn't fair now. You walked out on me and our life together without so much as a backwards glance with nothing other than 'I don't want this anymore' I thought we were happy I honestly truly did. That day I felt like my life had been ripped from my hands and even now, 6 months later, I feel like I haven't even come close to getting it back"

Piper could feel herself becoming upset but she couldn't help it all the feelings of loneliness and sadness where rushing to the forefront of her mind clouding the rational part of her brain. Two traitorous tears made there way down her cheeks and she turned her head away not wanting Alex to see the hurt that was prominently on display.

"I'm sorry"

Alex's husky voice was thick with emotion but Piper just shook her head in reply slamming her mug down onto the coffee table.

"I don't want your apologies I just want to know why. You always said we were inevitable what the fuck went wrong Alex!"

"Me"

The word was whispered, Alex's voice laden with pain but Piper remained silent hoping, praying that Alex would explain when Alex didn't continue Piper took a chance. With a shaking hand she reached for Alex her fingers desperately latching onto the other woman's hand like it was a lifetime.

"Please tell me I'll leave if that's what you want but I can't without knowing the truth. Please Alex you owe me at least that"

Alex dragged a hand through her hair and kept her eyes fixed on their entwined hands Piper squeezed her fingers encouragingly holding her breath a breath she only released when Alex began to talk.

"The headaches I knew they weren't normal something deep down was ringing like an alarm that something wasn't right. I ignored it for weeks but it was like a constant nag in the back of my mind. I was worried, scared and I know I took it out on you"

Piper just nodded reluctant to speak in case Alex didn't continue.

"I went to two different doctors one just put it down to stress but the other actually listened to my concerns and recommended me for a CT scan. The day I got the results the bottom fell out of my world and it hasn't returned since"

A tear fell from Alex's eye and ran down her cheek Piper resisted the urge to wipe it away.

"Whatever you may think I did love you"

Hurt at the past tense Piper's voice was petulantly defiant "Yeah well I still love you"

Alex let out an angry sob and stood up angrily stalking over to the fireplace before she turned to look at Piper desperation etched across her features.

"You fucking shouldn't oh Kid I wish you didn't"

"Do you really despise me that much!? Why!? Why is my love for you such a terrible thing?!"

"BECAUSE I'M GOING TO DIE"

The words rang out into the room echoing in the open space Alex was breathing as if she had run a mile her breath coming in sharp bursts angry tears pouring down her face.

"We're all going to die it's just part of life Alex"

"Yeah well not like this! This was never part of the plan I was either going to die an old woman with you by my side or go out young, backwards in a ball of flames. Instead I've got this thing growing in my head taking over my brain killing me slowly. The operation is so risky I'll be lucky to survive it and even if I do there's a chance it won't cure me and I'll have to waste away anyway while losing everything along the way, my pride, my dignity ... myself"

Piper had never seen Alex look so vulnerable and she stood up walking slowly as if she was approaching a wounded animal that was backed into a corner. The analogy, looking at Alex in this moment, seemed fitting.

"I look in the mirror every morning and I hate what I see staring back it isn't me. This isn't me Pipes! It's a shadow of a person and I fucking despise it!"

Alex was gesturing wildly her face flushed with anger until suddenly it was like all the rage seeped away and all that was left was devastation.

"And if I can't stand to look at myself how long would it be until you too couldn't bear it? I was always your protector the strong, confidant cocky one why on earth would you want to be stuck with this. A broken empty husk of a person you once loved"

Piper's heart broke not for herself for the woman standing in front of her who had never looked so downtrodden, so defeated.

"I love you, oh Al I love you so much"

Piper couldn't hold back anymore as soon as Alex was in touching distance Piper pressed forward placing her hands on either side of Alex's face she brought their lips together in a bruising kiss trying to convey to Alex just how much she loved her. The kiss was desperate and messy, teeth and tongues clashed together furiously, Alex was still sobbing her tears mixing with Piper's own. Piper felt Alex try to pull back but she wouldn't, couldn't let her go. When the need for oxygen became too great to ignore Piper reluctantly pulled back but she pressed her forehead to Alex's not allowing her to pull away.

"Look at me"

Those tortured eyes she loved so much peered back at her the sight of them making her heart leap with affection.

"I will always love you, always. You're still my Alex you always will be no matter what happens. Did you really think I would leave you to do this all on your own?"

Alex sniffed and looked away "You've left before"

Those words were like a punch in the stomach made all the worse by the fact they were the truth.

"I was young, naive and stupid then. To caught up in my own needy self absorbed way to even realise I had everything I ever wanted and more. I'm older and wiser now I will always stand by your side no matter what life throws at us"

Alex just shook her head sadly her cheeks glistening "I didn't want you to have to deal with this, I didn't want to hurt you with the enormity of this situation"

"Pushing me away is hurting me more. I want to be here I want too look after you, be there for you just like you have always tried to be there for me. If you die-" Piper's voice broke but she cleared her throat determined to continue "If you die, and that's a big if Al, I will be devastated I can't even begin to tell you how much because I honestly don't want to think about it. But when you left all you did was make me feel that devastation sooner but I thought it was my fault and it hurt Al, it hurt so much"

Piper's breath hitched as she tried to slow her tears and Alex ran a shaking hand down her cheek trying to wipe away the remaining tears.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry Pipes"

Piper shook her head and took a deep breath she steeled her nerves and looked Alex deep in the eyes.

"Do you still love me?"

The silence was unbearable it felt as if the world had ceased to turn, time stood still for those few minutes that Piper waited for a response to an answer that meant more to her than the meaning of life.

"Yes"

At the heartfelt whispered word Piper pulled Alex into her arms and kissed her gently before nuzzling into her neck inhaling her scent.

"Then that's all we need Al. That's all me and you have ever needed"

A.N Sometimes I just love these two so much :) (then other times I want to bang their heads together!)