A.N Wow managed to get this finished a whole day earlier than I had originally thought! I scribble my stories on bits of paper or in the notes section of my iPhone sometimes combining the two takes longer than you would think! This chapter is quite a bit longer than I thought it would be but after reading it through from start to finish I didn't really want to split it into two, I hope you all enjoy it anyway!

Piper yawned loudly and rubbed her eyes her vision was beginning to blur from looking at her laptop screen for so long. It was already half past 7 and Piper was shocked at how long she had been sat crossed legged on the couch the laptop balanced on her knee. All afternoon had been spent researching, trawling website after website making extensive notes on every piece of information she could find regarding frontal lobe brain tumours, the effects and the treatments.

Alex had told her everything after they had clung onto each other and cried until no more tears would come. Over a steaming mug of coffee she had told her every detail she could recall but Piper had wanted to double check every bit of information so that she had a clear picture in her mind of exactly what they were facing. Piper hadn't wanted to leave Alex, terrified that if she left Alex would never let her return but Alex had insisted she go home and think about what she had told her. Piper knew Alex still had doubts over them tackling this together but she was adamant there was no way in hell she was letting Alex continue to live with this alone.

Seeing the full symptoms and outcomes in black and white on the screen had frightened her at first but she had quickly pushed the fear away determined. The surgery would be tricky and this is what scared Piper the most and she was worried that Alex would slip away from her on the operating table or never awake from the invasive procedure. She still didn't know the date Alex was scheduled for her operation Alex insisting that at the moment she didn't need to know and this worried her but she hadn't wanted to push Alex too far in case she closed up completely. Piper wasn't stupid she knew she was still walking on a thin tightrope were Alex was concerned knowing it wouldn't take much for her love to completely withdraw from her. This morning had been so much more than she expected and she reasoned that she should be grateful for the information Alex had freely given not focusing on the things that were still unclear.

Her phone brought her from her thoughts when it buzzed on the coffee table and her face lit up when Alex's name flashed up on the screen. Eagerly she picked the phone up and brought it up to her ear pressing the answer button as she did "Hello"

"Hey Kid"

Piper's stomach did a little flip of happiness at the sound of her nickname and she smiled sighing happily into the phone.

"Hey Al"

"I just wanted to make sure you got home ok?"

Alex's voice was slightly slurred and Piper had to squash down the urge to fuss knowing that it was either due to a recent dose of pain medication or the tumour itself.

"I'm fine I've had a busy afternoon getting cross eyed from looking at the laptop for so long. I'm sure I'm going to need glasses soon think I can look as hot in them as you do"

Alex's husky laugh echoed down the phone and Piper smiled wider.

"You trying to copy my style?"

"I don't think I'll ever pull off your style nobody does rockabilly quite like you Ms Vause"

"True true"

They went quiet Piper was unsure how to continue it had been a long time since they had made idle chatter.

"Why did you call Al?"

Silence, for a moment all Piper could hear was Alex's breathing and she waited patiently for Alex to reply.

"I wanted to make sure it wasn't a dream" was the mumbled reply and Piper knew Alex was embarrassed at sounding so unsure.

"It was real unfortunately you are stuck with me once again" Piper laughed trying to lighten the mood but even she recognised it came out a bit flat so spoke again quickly "Can I back come tonight?"

Alex sighed and Piper knew her reply was not going to be the one she wanted to hear.

"Not tonight Kid I'm not feeling great my next painkillers are due in half an hour and after that I'll be going straight to bed. They knock me out pretty well no more late parties for me!"

Piper choked down her disappointment and also her worry at the thought of Alex alone while feeling so unwell. However she reasoned that Alex had endured 6 months of this by herself Piper insisting she now didn't stay alone would probably anger her.

"Can I come tomorrow instead then?"

Alex chuckled "You're like a dog with a bone"

"I just don't want to spend anymore time apart from you I've missed going to sleep with you beside me"

Piper's voice was soft and gentle it was the truth if she had her way she wouldn't spend another night on her own without Alex's arms around her as she slept.

"Pipes ..."

"I know what you are going to say and I don't want to hear it ok?"

Alex sighed heavily and Piper involuntarily closed her eyes as if having her eyes shut would spare her the pain.

"You have survived sleeping on your own for 6 months and you coming back and sleeping next to me isn't going to help you in the long run is it?"

"But I don't like sleeping without you"

"It's something you need to get used to Kid you've got years of it in front of you"

Alex's voice was so matter of fact it sparked anger in Piper and she clenched her teeth together to stop herself from replying. Trying to calm down she took long deep breaths in and out but when Alex spoke again it disrupted her mantra.

"You still there Kid?"

"Yes"

"I know it's not the answer you wanted Piper"

Piper scoffed "I just hate how blasé you are about this"

Alex laughed sarcastically "Well what would you prefer? For me to do wail and sob at the unfairness and refuse to acknowledge what's going to happen to me?"

"No" Piper snapped back her anger evident in her tone "I just wish you would stop saying that you are going to die if your surgery is a success then you can beat this I know you can"

"If my surgery succeeds, and that's a big if Piper, I have a 50% chance at survival even less chance of coming out the way I am now all faculties intact with all limbs functioning as they should. Being totally honest Piper I'm not completely certain I even want the fucking surgery"

Cold icy fear wrapped around Piper's body spreading through her veins and settled firmly into her stomach.

"Don't you say that, don't you dare say that"

"And why not!? It's my fucking life Piper and I'll be damned if I'm going to be left crippled, dribbling in a chair because of a risky surgery that went wrong. That's no life Piper it's an existence, an existence I sure as hell don't want!"

Piper closed her eyes and willed the tears that had built in her eyes at Alex's words to disappear but it was futile they slipped traitorously down her cheeks and she held the phone away from her as she sniffed loudly.

"Kid don't cry I'm sorry for getting so angry"

"No ... No it's ok"

"No it's not though Piper ... Shit this is why I didn't want you involved it's only bringing you upset in your life, upset that you don't need"

"I've cried myself to sleep every night for the past 6 months Alex trust me tears are nothing new"

Piper didn't want to make Alex feel guilty but it was the truth.

"I'm so sorry Piper"

Piper sniffed and wiped her eyes on her sleeve "I know you are and I'm sorry too I don't want to make you feel guilty"

"I feel guilty ... anyway"

Piper laughed "What a pair we make eh"

Alex just hummed in response.

"You tired Al?"

"Headache is getting stronger... I'm going to have to go soon"

The slurring of words had gotten worse throughout their conversation and Piper knew she would have to let Alex go even though all she wanted to do was listen to that husky voice for the rest of her evening.

"You go, take your painkillers and get in bed. I can talk to you tomorrow?"

The last sentence was meant to come out as a statement instead it sounded like a question.

"Speak to you tomorrow Kid"

"I heart you" Piper smiled as she said the words and she smiled wider when Alex laughed.

"I heart ... you too"

"You can't expect anything more Chapman"

Nicky eyed her over the top of her beer bottle and Piper groaned exasperated.

"Why do you always take her side"

Nicky just snorted "There's no sides in this Chapman unless you count us and the cancer"

"I know, I know its just she can be so bloody stubborn"

Nicky chuckled "I'm surprised she gave in so easily to be honest"

Piper snapped her head up surprised "Why?"

"Well come on you turned up, she let you stay, opened up to you. I think that's pretty good going considering she broke your heart and her own to keep this from you in the first place"

Piper went quiet contemplating Nicky's words.

"She's also agreed to you speaking tomorrow I think you can definitely say this is more progress than you ever thought you would make surely"

"Hmmm I suppose so" they sat in silence Nicky drinking her beer Piper sipping at a glass of wine.

"What's really bothering you Piper?"

Piper took her time to finish the contents of her glass wondering whether she should say what was exactly on her mind. She trusted Nicky she truly did but she didn't really want to burden her friend while she was a confidant to both herself and Alex. Nicky continued to stare and under her unflinching gaze Piper caved.

"She doesn't know whether to have the surgery"

Nicky choked on the mouthful of beer she had just taken coughing and sputtering beer running down her chin onto Piper's wooden floor.

"Is she fuckin' crazy! She'll die without it!"

"At first that's what I thought but then-"

"But then what? You realised that yes she's just batshit crazy"

Piper just shook her head "I've been reading up on the operation Alex is telling the truth it is dangerous Nicky where the tumour is it's the part of the brain that controls the body's motor skills. Alex is terrified she'll end up not being able to walk, talk. You've spent time with her Nic you must have noticed her speech"

Nicky shifted uncomfortably "Well yeah but I just thought that was a side effect of the painkillers"

Piper nodded "So did I but it isn't the tumour is already affecting her physically. At the moment it's a side affect to an illness, the illness being the tumour, but if it becomes permanent? Alex won't cope you know how proud she is and she is terrified of becoming a burden, trapped in a life she doesn't want"

Nicky shook her head disbelieving "So she would rather die than try and fight, survive and live with a speech impediment?! Fuck that shit Piper she needs a good fuckin' talking to"

"Well she isn't going to listen to me"

Nicky stood angrily "Well I'll make her listen to me"

Nicky made her way to the kitchen pulling on her jacket as she did. Dropping her now empty beer bottle into the bin she raised her hand to Piper and headed to the door.

"Where are you going!?"

Nicky just looked at her like she had lost her mind "Where do you think! I'm off to Vause's talk some sense into her"

"Nicky its 10 o clock she'll be in bed just leave it until tomorrow? She didn't sound good before Nic just leave her to rest please?"

Nicky stared at her for a moment and then shook her head before heading to the door "No I need to do this now catch you later Chapman"

Before Piper could even continue to reason with her wild haired friend the door slammed shut and Piper just stared forward in a daze. Alex would be furious and not just at Nicky's interference Piper groaned why oh why did she have to open her big mouth. If anything was going to push Alex back into her self imposed exile it was this. Piper stood and placed her glass into the kitchen sink debating what to do with herself now. She was too wound up to sleep, her nerves were on edge but she also knew she wouldn't settle doing anything else. Slowly she cleaned up her kitchen, washed and dried the few dishes and tidied her laptop away in the living room. It was now 10 to 11 and Piper still felt as stressed and on edge as she had when Nicky rushed out of her apartment. Struggling with her internal battle Piper eventually gave in to the urge grabbing her car keys from the small table by her door she grasped her coat and all but ran down her hallway. She couldn't sit at home worrying and waiting she needed to get to Alex's.

Piper could hear the shouting before she had even reached Alex's door and she internally cringed as a man appeared in front of her gesturing wildly "I've told them once to pack it in if this shouting continues I'm calling the police!"

Piper nodded eager to calm the irate man "Don't worry I'll make sure to put a stop to it"

"Well make sure you do! 5 minutes then if they're still at it I'm making the phone call" the man stalked back into his flat slamming the door on his way causing Piper to wince.

For the second time in as many days Piper squared her shoulders and marched into Alex's apartment. Alex and Nicky were standing in the living room screaming at each other neither listening to a word the other was saying. Nicky was gesturing wildly in front of the window while Alex was holding herself upright with the couch both of their faces where alight with anger.

"Right that's enough! It's half past 11 at night I've just had your neighbour threatening to call the police! Can we at least talk about this like rational adults!"

Both occupants turned to look at her in shock the immediate silence suddenly deafening and Piper raised her eyebrows "Thank you now who would like a drink?"

Alex just snorted, sluggishly she moved to the couch sitting down heavily while Nicky stayed pacing by the window like a caged lion.

"Just me then"

Piper marched over to the kitchen shedding her coat as she went she draped both the coat and her bag over the kitchen counter. Turning the kettle on waiting as it boiled she surveyed the scene in front of her with interest neither Alex or Nicky had uttered another word. Piper continued to make her drink and when she had finished she carried her mug over to Alex and made to sit down.

"Don't you even think of sitting on this couch Piper"

Piper rolled her eyes turning instead to sit in the arm chair.

"I believe I specifically told you not to come here tonight"

Piper snorted "You did and I also told Nicky to not come here tonight but hey seems like nobody is getting what they want this evening"

Nicky scoffed loudly "Oh yeah 'cause I could just go calmly continue sipping beer then trot home after your little revelation Chapman. I'm not like you I'm not willing to just stand back and watch Vause die"

Piper felt her hackles rise "Oh yes because that's exactly what I'm doing. You don't get it Nicky barging over here shouting your mouth off is hardly helping anything!"

Piper's hands shook with anger and she kept a tight hold on the mug in her hands, it was the only think stopping her from leaping up and slapping Nicky across her face.

"At least I'm doing something! You were quite happy to just sit on your arse and moan about how unfair this all is! Self involved Chapman strikes again! No wonder you two can't keep your shit together long enough to be happy not when one half of this couple involves you!"

Nicky's words cut her deeply her mouth hung open and she couldn't think of a fitting retort, the wind had been throughly knocked from her sails at the caustic hurtful words. Alex who had been watching quietly as the two of them furiously argued couldn't help but jump in.

"That was a low blow Nichols"

"Taking her side are we now? Not 15 minutes ago you were cursing the ground she walks on"

Piper couldn't bring herself to look at either of them confrontation had never been her thing she had always preferred to bury her head in the sand. The main reason she hated to argue was an argument never stayed on topic they always resulted in everyone throwing out hurtful comments. Piper had learnt from a young age that even people who were meant to love you would say the most awful things just to win their point in an argument. Piper flinched when she met Alex's gaze she guessed Alex could sense her uncomfortableness and it was confirmed with Alex's next words.

"Stop it Nicky this isn't productive hurling insults around isn't making anyone's point"

Nicky took a deep calming breath and came and sat down heavily next to Alex an action which irked Piper when Nicky received no reprimand, she had been told to stay away.

"I'm sorry Piper"

Piper inclined her head she couldn't bring herself to answer still smarting at Nicky's cutting comment.

"Do you really think that guy will call the police?" Nicky looked worried and Piper couldn't blame her Nicky was fresh out of Litchfield she needed to stay on the right side of the law.

"I don't know he said if it continued he would but to be fair the shoutings stopped now"

Nicky nodded although she still looked uneasy "Well just in case he decides to be a fuckin' grass I'm gonna head off I've made my point, rehashing over the same thing isn't going to make you any less stubborn"

Nicky ignored Alex's answering eye roll and stood quickly collecting her coat.

"We ok Chapman?"

"I'll call you in a couple of days"

Nicky inclined her head and leant over the couch giving Alex a one armed hug.

"Just think about what I said ok?" Alex grunted and Nicky looked exasperatedly in Piper's direction "I'll call you, see you soon"

As soon as the door shut Alex let her head fall back and she brought her hands up to massage her temples.

"The shouting won't have helped your headache"

"A* Ms Chapman did you read that in your studies? I bet I'm like a new pet project for you and Nicky hey"

Piper didn't reply she just continued to drink her coffee the situation for a moment feeling overwhelming.

"I didn't tell her so that she could come here and have a go"

"No but you still told her anyway. I feel like my life isn't my fucking own everybody sticking their opinions in trying to tell me how to deal with this. You're not the one who has to live with this I am"

Piper placed her cup into the coffee table and leant her elbows onto her knees "But I am living with it"

"By your own fucking insistence I didn't want you involved!"

Piper just sighed she didn't want to argue but she didn't really know how to make her point.

"Do you remember when I got attacked at Litchfield?"

Alex sighed "How could I forget"

"I fought for you, I fought so damn hard for you Alex. Not for me, for you. I just wish that you would fight this for you, for Nicky ... for me"

Piper went quiet letting her words sink in pleased that Alex hadn't immediately started shouting.

"It's not that easy Piper"

"Actually it is. The only person who is allowing the cancer to win is you. Me and Nic we're fighting, fighting you to make you see that you can beat this. You're not alone we're here for you and I truly believe your strong enough to do this"

"Piper ... look at me I can hardly stand the left side of my body is weakening slowly every day. My voice is permanently slurred now, the headache never truly leaves, it's already beating me"

Piper just shook her head "These are symptoms of an illness they are not permanent"

Alex sighed her body slumping "I don't think I'm strong enough anymore Piper"

"The Alex Vause I know wouldn't go down without a fight" Piper's voice was defiant it was the truth her love had fought for everything in life and always succeeded.

"Maybe the Alex Vause you knew isn't here anymore"

"Yes she is a bit battered, definitely older, at the moment I can't really say wiser" Piper smirked at Alex playfully "But she's definitely still here and I know that because I look at her now and I still feel the all consuming love I felt when I first looked at her and realised we had the rest of our lives together"

Tears were building now and Piper moved to sit next to Alex taking her hands tightly "You used to describe our future together all the time, the places we would go, the sights we would see. What made you give up on that?"

"I want you to be happy Piper and with me like this you won't get a happy carefree life I know you deserve"

"But you seem to forget the only thing I need to be happy Al is you, just you"

Alex just closed her eyes and leant her head back on the couch and Piper could feel the frustration build.

"You just decided what was best for me without asking I'm a big girl now Alex I don't need you to plan my life for me especially one were you are not in it!"

"I was protecting you!"

Piper laughed sarcastically "This isn't protecting me, holding me at arms length is destroying me. I want you back in my life as my girlfriend whether we have the next 3 months together or the next 30 years either way I want you"

Alex only shook her head and stood up slowly her movements laboured and awkward "Go home Piper"

Piper watched as Alex walked away from her for the second time and this time she was determined to not lie down and accept this.

"No"

Standing up herself she waited until Alex turned around to face her. As soon as those green eyes locked with her own Piper stood tall and said the two words that burnt in her mind like a beacon of hope.

"Marry me"

A.N What do you think :)