A/N: I changed the ages up a tad to make everything fit in. So basically Chrome's 16 when he goes into the Games and Vander meets Al when he's twenty around the 6th of 7th Games.
VANDER'S POV
Al has to hold me back when they call the name. In the blink of an eye, my world's crashed. I hear screaming voices for the first time in years. Everything is crumbling. Al whispers quietly to me and helps me compose myself, Amelia gazes at me with sad eyes.
We walk together to the Justice Building once the reapings are done. Every family we pass hugging their kids sends daggers of sharp anger through me. Al keeps pulling me along.
When we arrive, his time with Kelsey and Ida is just running out.
This can't be happening.
When they finally let us enter, Chrome's eyes are puffy but he isn't crying anymore. He jumps up from where he was sitting and wraps his arms around both of us without a word, without even a sound. Al and I both hug him back for a while, none of us talking.
Soon, Chrome starts to cry softly, and that's when I finally make myself speak. "You'll be okay. You're not like the people from 3 that usually go into the Games…" I try to reassure not only him, but Al and myself too, trying to ignore the screaming voices, "You're 16, you grew up with your mouth full so you're strong, and you're determined…"
"But I can't kill people!" he sobs, "Kelsey and Aunt Ida had me convinced that I could, but I can't!"
Al says nothing and his eyes don't move from straight ahead, even when I nudge him. Chrome hugs me tightly first.
I can't break down in front of Chrome.
"Chrome, listen," I whisper, continuing when he looks up. "You can do it. You'll be surprised of your survival instincts. You can't abandon us, okay? Not without a fight. You can't give up."
He nods tearily into my stomach. "Okay. I'll… I'll try my best to not give up. I promise."
I stroke his hair, "Good boy."
He lets go of me and hugs Al. As soon as Al is hugged, he strokes Chrome's hair and sings to him, quietly, in a voice that never falters (which is more than I can say for myself). Chrome sobs quietly, and all I want is for the voices to shut up!
When Chrome lets go, Al kisses the top of his head softly. Chrome hugs both of us again and whispers, "I promise I'll make it back to you. And if I don't, I'm sorry."
"We love you kid," says Al, and I nod.
"I love you guys, too," Chrome says quietly.
We stay like that until Peacekeepers pull us apart and shove us out.
I walk home as fast as I can without running, trying to keep the breakdown from happening until I home. As soon as I get into the house I slam the door, close all the shutters I pass and turn out all the lights. I practically run to the bedroom, slam that door, and sit on our bed in the dark, as sobs rack my entire body and I start to lose it.
Al doesn't come up for a while, not until after I get a small grasp on things back. When he comes, he brings soup and crackers with him, though he doesn't force me to eat anything.
He coaxes me to sit up and lets me snuggle up close against him. He sighs shakily, but doesn't shed a single tear. I know he's trying to be strong for the sanity of both of you, and I'm reminded that no matter how much my world crashes he can help me try to pick up the pieces.
He calms me down, and he doesn't even flinch when I squeeze his arms hard to try and eliminate the feeling that I'm falling. Eventually, he sings to me too. He can't find any of the notes, but I don't know what the song's actually supposed to sound like so I don't mind.
The last thing I think before sleep takes me is, Wow, I really don't deserve him.
~.~.
Reapings.
Al and I sit, tangled together on the small couch, watching the Capitol channel and surveying Chrome's competition. He can do this…
That night they play recaps of last year's Games, the 21st, and discuss the boys from 4, 2, and 1. The kid from One is a Krietzer kid. The mentor from 2 is someone I know, well, in fact. Talon Davenport. I knew him a while ago, we slept together once or twice. Al shuts off the TV after they show the 4 boy after being mutilated by mutts.
"We should go to bed." Neither of us sleeps.
Chariots.
Chrome has a sweet smile. Capitol people seem to look right over him. District 2's tributes steal the show. Al and I spend another long night staring at each other.
Training scores.
Chrome gets a 7 somehow. Octavian Spencer and Stephano Stivason look absolutely dumbfounded.
That's right, bastards. Chrome's not out of this yet.
I actually get some sleep that night.
Interviews.
Chrome never talked well in front of people, and tonight is no unfortunately no exception. Once Octavian gets him to open up, though, he wins over the crowd because he's damn cute.
The night before.
I don't sleep. Al wakes up screaming and I have to calm him down. We stay up way later. The voices are worse than they've been but I don't break down.
Day one.
Chrome goes for the Cornucopia and actually gets a backpack. Al and I stay locked up, tangled together in that dark living room all day and night, barely eating, going in and out of consciousness, shaking each other awake if Chrome's on the screen.
Day five.
Chrome kills someone today. It's easy to see that he'll never be himself ever again.
Day ten.
Al and I eat a real meal and both of us shower. It feels good. Chrome get a sponsor gift today: some soup and medicine for his wounds. That feels even better.
Day twelve.
The big guy from 2 dies. Chrome's chances get better and better.
Day thirteen.
Chrome gets a bad wound. Al buries his face in my stomach and leaves it there a long time. Neither of us eat all afternoon and evening.
Day fifteen.
The final battle is Chrome against the girl from District One. Al I watch, neither of us even daring to breathe. My heart pounds so hard I think it'll pound right out of my chest.
"Ladies and gentlemen, the Victor of the 22nd Hunger Games, Chrome Vladamire!"
I scream and Al hugs me so tight I think I might suffocate.
It's the first time he's cried since way before Chrome even got reaped. That night is a sleepless one, tonight it's one of joyful celebration (if ya know what I mean).
That was the longest four weeks of abstinence I've ever experienced.
~.~.
Sixteen.
Chrome barely talks anymore. I noticed cuts on his thighs. We put an end to that as soon as we could.
Seventeen.
Chrome becomes good friends with Marlowe Glaiser. He loses his virginity as a prostitute. It's sad that something as wonderful as sex is ruined for him forever.
Eighteen.
Chrome considers Marlowe and her Victor crew his best friends. When we ask, he smiles an old Chrome smile and says that the feeling is returned to him.
Nineteen.
Chrome's happy. Al's happy. I'm happy. We're a family. Life is good.
~.~.
DUTCH'S POV
Marlowe and I get off the train, Dad behind us and Nick not far behind him. Chrome invited all of us to Three to meet the rest of his large family and celebrate his nineteenth birthday. I've only been here once before, and it was on my Victory Tour… I forgot just how smoggy and sad of a place it is.
Marlowe squeezes my hand as Chrome meets us, waving and jumping around. Both of us smile a tad, walking over to talk to him.
"Hey guys!" says Chrome, "My Dads are at home making cake 'nd stuff, but until then I decided I'll show you around a bit!"
"I could help with the cake," says Dad, "I'm a good cook!"
"NO!" we all shout, face-palming. He laughs, "Geez, I get it, okay, okay!" We all laugh.
"Actually, my Dads could use the extra help. For cleanup, I guess, and maybe the baking too."
"Oh, I can clean!" Dad says, laughing. Nick smiles a little, "And I can help cook."
"I bet they could use your help!" Chrome laughs a little, "One's a pretty good cook, the other's, uh, not."
He takes us through the gates of the Victor's Village and stops in front of one of the houses, "This is mine."
He takes Dad and Nick inside. Not much later, he comes back out and smiles at Marlowe and I, "Come on, I'll show you two around a bit, just like you did for me in District One!" He starts walking and I follow him.
Chrome grins and takes us around the dark streets of District Three. It really is a sad place.
Chrome stops at a small building and says, "This is the grocery store. It's small, but it's got a pretty good stockpile-" suddenly he's taken and I feel hands grab me, breaking me and Marlowe apart. She's pushed against the wall.
"Hey!" Marlowe squeals, swinging a fist. The guy in white dodges. Chrome is shoved backwards, squeaking in shock. I struggle against the grip of the guy holding me, but it's practically iron. I can't let them touch her, I have to break free, I can't fail her… I keep struggling.
Chrome jumps up from where he was knocked down. "You can't touch her like that!" he warns, just as the Peacekeeper's hands move up to her chest.
"Who are you to say we can't!?" he asks. I keep fighting whoever's holding me.
"I'm a Victor, dammit! I went through your Capitol's stupid Games and I survived! I'm killed people! Everyone in your Capitol knows my name! Let her go!"
"You're not wearing white, you don't make the rules! We will not hesitate to punish Victors!"
"Let her go!" shouts Chrome, holding up a fist. I strain with effort, trying to get this guy off of me… The guy lets go of Marlowe, who hangs her head in humiliation, and the Peacekeeper moves to Chrome, pinning him to the wall. "You are not the dominant species," he growls, sliding his hand down Chrome's pants.
"Chrome!" shouts Marlowe, just as the 22nd Victor punches the guy square in the nose. He doesn't yell out, though. Instead, he just smiles, unpinning Chrome. "Just what I was looking for. Take him to the Square."
The Peacekeeper shoves me forward and they grab Chrome by both arms, who tries to fight them.
"Chrome!" shouts Marlowe again, as the Peacekeepers start shouting for all residents to leave their homes and mandatory appearance at the Square. Marlowe runs after them, tears pouring out of her eyes, "Chrome!" she shouts again, sobbing. I take her hand gently and we run after them to the Square. Soon the people start crowding up, and I look for Dad and Nick and Chrome's parents in the crowd.
Marlowe's a sobbing mess as the Peacekeeper reads the charges against Chrome and sentences him to "45 whippings!"
Nick finds us just then, looking shell-shocked. I finally make myself speak, tell him the whole story in a jumbled mess of words as we hear the first crack of the whip against Chrome.
"This is all my fault," squeaks out a crying Marlowe, "I should be up there!" she crumbles into my arms and all I can do is stand there and look for my Dad.
Another crack. Chrome screams and cries out. The cracks keep coming, I have to get to Dad, but there are too many people in my way. I keep an eye on him, trying to get to him and Chrome's parents as the whip keeps cracking and Chrome keeps screaming, crying, begging for them to cut it out.
I push through, and finally I'm able to get Marlowe and Nick over to Dad and Chrome's Dads. Just as I'm about to say hello, Chrome sobs loudly and Alistair suddenly snaps. He takes off running up the stairs, nobody stops him. "YOU WON'T HURT HIM ANYMORE!"
One of the Peacekeepers takes out his gun and aims it. Alistair throws a punch, he looks rabid. "DAD NO!" shouts Chrome. The Peacekeeper that was doing the whipping gets his gun, intentionally driving his foot into Chrome's head. Marlowe shrieks, she collapses on the ground, I try to help her when we all hear a deafening gunshot.
"Get Vander," Dad growls to Nick and I, holding Chrome's other Dad by the arms. Nick and I grab him as all hell breaks loose. "AL! CHROME!" he shouts, he fights our grip, struggling, kicking and trying to free his arms, but Dad holds on tight, even when he's able to swat Nick and I off of him. Marlowe's sobs have dissolved into quiet cries. Soon, they're told to clear the Square, though a lot of people linger to watch the unfolding drama.
"LET GO OF ME!" shouts Vander, dissolving into sobs. "I HAVE TO HELP THEM!"
"It's too late!" says Dad, but his voice sounds hurt. Vander collapses next to Marlowe on the ground, and it's not long before he becomes so hysterical he passes out. Dad slings the man on his shoulder and Nick helps me pick up Marlowe and we carry them back to the house.
~.~.
VANDER'S POV
My eyes flicker open, and I see Krietzer standing over me, Kensy right next to him, and they both look sad.
This has to be a nightmare. This… This can't be happening to me.
"Chrome!?" I say, looking around for his smiling face. Krietzer takes a deep breath, sitting next to me. "Vander-"
My voice goes down to a horrified, teary whisper. This can't be happening! "…Al?"
I hear squeaky sobs coming from the other side of the room.
"Vander… I'm really sorry…" says Krietzer. His blue-gray eyes fill with tears. I break down, break down in front of everybody. Who the hell cares anymore, anyways!?
"This can't be happening! Tell me it's all a joke!" ugly sobs tear out of my throat, "Tell me you're lying!"
More, loud, squeaky sobs coming from the corner. Soft whispering from the Krietzer kid. I curl up into a ball on the couch and can practically see my world crumbling and crashing down.
"This can't be happening to me! I'm supposed to be happy!" I can't hold anything back. Whether I like it or not, all hell is breaking loose and Krietzer and Kensy and other Krietzer and Glaiser are going to have to deal with it. Krietzer's eyes shine with tears, and he doesn't know what to say.
I'm taken back.
I slept with him a couple times. I always had chats with him when he accompanied tributes on the Victory Tour. He always gave into my charm.
This was one afternoon after it happened. He's never stayed the night before, he's too busy for that, but he and I took naps together sometimes. One morning, he woke up and looked confused. I reminded him where he was. He cussed me out. I asked him how he liked it.
I remember he said, "My arms are too good for scum like you!" before he left. It's one of the most hurtful things anyone's ever said to me. It's why I was hesitant when Chrome took me to 1 to meet him. That statement, it still rotates around in my head when the voices shout rude things to me. That, and Amelia's words to me, too.
It's all I hear now, the only words that pound in my head until I remember the horrifying scene in front of me with Chrome and Al… God…
He holds out his arms to me and I push him away, not meaning to, not in control, but not caring. "I thought your arms were too good for scum like me!" I shout at him. I'm losing control, breaking down, I want to hurt something, and Al isn't here to put me back together again. He says a quiet, "Oh my God. Vander, I'm sorry…."
I curl up and sob up a storm, not even sure what to do or say. "It's NOT FAIR!" I shout, barely computing the meaning of the words that exit my mouth, "It's NOT FAIR! I was broken, I was lost, I needed help! I LET AL MAKE ME HAPPY! I LET CHROME MAKE ME HAPPEN! AND IT COMES DOWN TO THIS!?" the words tear painfully out of my throat, Krietzer tries to help but I smack him away, crying my eyes out.
I don't want help. I want Al, I want Chrome, I don't need anything else but them. "WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS!?" I shout to absolutely nothing. A tear rolls down Krietzer's cheek and he just watches, unsure of what to do.
"I SHOULD'VE DONE SOMETHING! DAMMIT, I SHOULD'VE DIED UP THERE WITH THEM!"
"Vander, stop! We held you back for a reason!" I smack him across the face, even though he and the others in the room, I know somewhere deep in my heart they only want to help, they all become blurry and I lose control of everything I do.
"I LET THEM DOWN! AMELIA WAS RIGHT, I CAN'T BE A PROTECTOR! I'M TOO SELFISH, I HURT EVERYONE AROUND ME!" I break down, sobbing into my legs. I feel awful, the voices are screaming, I want to get a knife and just end it already. I lie on the couch, I feel like I'm falling and I'm going to hit the ground…
My life is ruined.
I feel Platinum's strong arms around me and I don't fight him off. I want Al's embrace, I want Chrome… I hear the squeaky, girly sobs coming from the other side of the room, but I just can't yell at the pour girl. She's just as heartbroken as I am. They all are. I didn't see that before, but now I do.
That doesn't change the fact that I just lost all my happiness, though.
My thoughts make the future a dark, scary place that I don't want to go to. I'll never have Al or Chrome there to make me laugh, to make me smile.
Fate's a real bitch.
I don't think I'll ever be truly happy again… What will I become!?
I don't want to know. I want time to stop, I want to cease exsiting, I want to curl up and never ever wake up. But I don't think Krietzer would let that happen.
I guess I'll just never be able to fly again.
I'll be spending the rest of my miserable life here falling, falling, falling.