A.N 101 reviews! I actually jumped up and squealed when I realised I was so overwhelmed! Thank you to every single person who has left a comment and extra thanks to those who have reviewed each chapter.

I don't know how well this one is going to be received but fingers crossed hopefully you will enjoy...

Piper couldn't quite work out how she was still functioning at a normal rate considering how little sleep she had managed to have over the last two days. The night before last she had fallen asleep with Alex in her arms after she was certain the brunette was fast asleep and that the pain in her head had been successfully dulled for the time being. That morning when she had awoken this current nightmarish existence had began.

After waking up to an empty bed Piper had presumed Alex was in the bathroom, when the apartment had remained quiet Piper had began to worry and she had gone looking for Alex around the silent flat. The moment she had spied the envelope bearing her name, sitting almost innocently on the kitchen worktop, the bottom had fallen out of her stomach and as of yet it had not returned. One piece of paper had brought both elation and absolute devastation, Alex had gotten her surgery quicker than Piper had dared to hope for but had neglected to tell Piper about it before she left.

Piper's emotions, since the early hours of yesterday morning, had been in complete turmoil, swinging from pure terror and worry to rage and anger. She was furious at Alex for leaving her in the dark yet again but she was so worried about her lover who had endured a long and arduous surgery on one of the most important organs in her body. Dan had called her father late last night just to tell him that Alex had awoken for a few seconds that evening before falling back into a deep sleep and that everything was looking as it should be. It was now the following night and so far Piper had not been able to bring herself to go to the hospital. She had lost count of how many times she had sat at the wheel of her car in the car park staring at the road ahead of her, willingly herself to start the engine but each time she had caved into her anger and returned to the safety of her flat. Her father had called her again in the afternoon pleading for her to go to the hospital but she had stubbornly replied that Alex would not want her there and she was not making the mistake of turning up unannounced. Bill had argued that she was being cowardly and selfish and Piper had erupted, her words had been caustic and hurtful born out of anger and insecurity, she was frightened and the one person who she needed to comfort her couldn't.

Curled up now on her couch she had her blanket pulled over her head hiding her from the outside world Alex's jumper firmly wrapped around her hands her fingers twisting and pulling nervously at the worm fabric. There was a loud banging on her door and Piper just sat and ignored the continued knocking not feeling like she could deal with socialising when she could barely deal with the darkness swirling in her head. The knocking didn't cease and as she heard her neighbour begin to yell Piper dragged herself from her makeshift shelter and moved sluggishly towards the door. When she opened the door and Nicky came rushing through pulling her tightly into her arms the emotion erupted and Piper broke down into a sobbing mess in Nicky's embrace.

"Sshh Chapman it's ok, everything's going to be fine"

Piper let Nicky rock her back and forth on the uncomfortable wooden floor until her knees went numb beginning to ache in protest.

"How could she not tell me"

Nicky just sighed and squeezed her tightly before she lifted Piper upwards and guided them back into the living room.

"I only found out myself this afternoon your dad called he's worried about the pair of you"

Piper snorted "Well he doesn't need to worry about me"

"Oh I beg to differ Piper this is just as hard for you"

"Yeah well Alex doesn't seem to think so"

Piper's tone was biting, scathing even and Nicky visibly flinched.

"I've been to see her they're keeping her in intensive care but she has woken up twice, although only for a minute or two, which is positive"

Piper felt elated for a moment before the crippling anger descended once again twisting her body into knots.

"Piper I think you should go and see her. She can't stay awake long and she's very disorientated, speech isn't coming easily but apparently Piper seems to be quite high up on her word count as in its the only word she can say according to the nurse"

Piper felt guilty she pictured Alex lying hooked up to all sorts of machines crying out for her and tears built in her eyes.

"I'm so angry with her Nic"

"I know and with good reason but look at it from her point of view she must have been so frightened that it would be a last goodbye she obviously felt she couldn't go through with it. I don't think she felt she could physically walk away from you again"

"And sloping off in the morning behind my back was a better option was it!? She never gave me a second thought!"

Nicky shook her head "I'm not saying it was I'm just trying to get you to be reasonable. You know deep down that Alex will have agonised over this decision and in her head she will have been trying to protect you. I also know no matter how angry you're feeling you are also worried and that worry isn't going to go away until you've seen she's ok for yourself"

Piper just stared moodily at the corner of the room ignoring Nicky's concerned gaze.

"She looks terrible like, heads a fuckin' mass of dried blood and staples like something out of a horror movie and she's completely away with it on pain meds but she's alive and still your Alex she just needs her Piper"

Piper scoffed although it was through tears that had begun to shimmer in her eyes.

"Alex didn't want her Piper yesterday, didn't want her fiancée anyway near her while she prepared for life saving surgery! What if something had happened Nicky what if there had been complications she could have died and I wouldn't have been there, I wouldn't have even fucking known until it was too late!"

Nicky looked at sympathetically and she took Piper's hand tightly in her own.

"Look I get it Piper, trust me I really do, but you need to be the bigger person. She's not out of the woods yet can you really live with yourself knowing she's stuck in a hospital bed barely able to stay awake, can't string a sentence together but still wondering where you are, asking for you, while you sit here sulking?"

"Fuck you Nicky"

The words although harsh lacked bite as the full weight of Nicky's words rested on her soul. It was true if anything happened... Piper couldn't even finish that thought her blood running cold and she turned to look at Nicky's anxious face.

"I argued with my dad before"

"Oh?"

"He said I was proving Alex right, that I'm doing my own version of running away as shit gets real" Piper's voice shook "I was furious with him told him were to stick his opinion but I suppose he's right I am proving that I can't stick it out, hiding away in a self righteous huff instead of confronting the issue head on"

Piper sniffed loudly her own self loathing raising its ugly head and she reached blindly for the tissue Nicky was holding out to her.

"Alex always thinks she knows what's best for me but she forgets I'm a grown adult with my own opinions. I thought I'd got through to her about making decisions for me but obviously she didn't listen and it just makes me so mad Nic"

Nicky chuckled sympathetically "I know, you're the most volatile couple I know but also the most loved up couple I think I will ever meet" Nicky gestured wildly her arms flailing as she spoke passionately "You love her so much and she worships the ground you walk on. Just sometimes you are so obsessed with not hurting one another you make everything 100 times worse!"

Piper laughed, her soul instantly feeling lighter at the simple action, at the truth in Nicky's words and at the absurdity that sometimes was her relationship. As if the laughter had cleared away the turmoil in her mind the enormity of the situation suddenly dawned bright and clear in her mind and she knew exactly what she needed to do, where she needed to be.

"Did the nurse say if they had specific visiting hours?"

"They booted me out at teatime"

Piper's heart sank although she tried not to look too devastated knowing that it was her own stubborn fault and hating herself for it.

"But she did say if 'Piper' was to make an appearance that she would be quite welcome at anytime"

Nicky smiled wildly and Piper met her infectious smile with a small one of her own.

"Get your coat Chapman we've got a hospital to get to"

Walking along the white corridor unsettled Piper she never had liked hospitals she was certain it was something to do with the sterile smell that seemed to seep into your very pores. Nicky was brusquely leading the way marching forward as if she owned the place and Piper was grateful for her presence, she was certain by now she would have been incredibly lost. They approached a set of heavy double doors labelled ICU and Nicky gestured to a kind faced nurse sitting at a desk on the other side.

"I'm sorry visiting hours are over our patients need their rest and I don't know if you've realised it but it is almost half past 11"

"Yeah yeah I know but I've brought Alex Vause something that she doesn't want to be without"

The nurse rolled her eyes her voice becoming irritated "Unless it's 'Piper' I'm not interested I can't get Ms Vause to even attempt the observations she's too distracted and neither could the nurse this afternoon"

Hearing her name Piper stepped forward a hesitant smile fixed in place "Hi I'm Piper"

The nurse raised her eyebrows her face stern and unsmiling and Piper felt her stomach churn.

"So you're the famous fiancée. Well I'm glad you've made an appearance every time Alex has awoken she has been distressed mumbling your name repeatedly. Although I'm told she did settle before when a Miss Nichols told her you would be along later"

Piper gave Nicky a grateful smile along with a gentle squeeze silently thanking her for her support when she knew she had been in the wrong sulking at home not being here were she was evidently needed.

"So Miss Chapman I think we can make an exception if you would like to come with me?"

The nurse looked at her imploringly and Piper nodded her head quickly "Thanks for everything Nicky I'll call you in the morning?"

"Yeah make sure you do" and with a nod to the nurse Nicky was off whistling loudly to the nurse's obvious displeasure. They made their way quickly to a side room not far from the nurse's station and Piper tried to look through the window but the blinds had been drawn shut.

"Alex is hooked up to many machines and other medical equipment there's a drain to take away excess fluid from the brain to prevent swelling and she's got an oxygen mask, blood pressure monitor, a morphine pump and various other pieces. It all looks rather scary but it's all necessary so that we can monitor and aide her recovery"

Piper nodded trying to force down the nerves she could feel building.

"You are quite welcome to stay the night, once she is transferred to a normal ward I'm afraid that is a luxury you will, more than likely, not be permitted so I would take full advantage"

"Thank you so much"

The nurse nodded and opened the door for Piper gesturing her forward "I'll keep popping in to check on Alex's progress so don't be alarmed when I appear in the doorway. Now just another warning the incision is rather alarming looking please do not worry I can assure you it's perfectly normal"

Piper nodded gratefully and made her way into the dimly lit room coming to a standstill as her eyes took in the sight of Alex lying immobile in the hospital bed. Even though she had thought she was prepared the image made her recoil back slightly before she could bring her body under control. Alex was deathly pale the gruesome incision which was at least 5 inches long standing out garishly against her shaved scalp on the right side of her head. There was a drain fitted the bloodied contents trickling ever so slightly through the clear tube and knowing it was Alex's brain fluid made her shudder. The hair around the shaved incision was matted with blood and the sight made Piper feel slight queasy her stomach lurching upwards.

"It's alright Piper" the nurse's voice was gentle and calming and she let out a shaky breath.

"I'm sorry I thought I knew what to expect it's just..."

"It's always scary we've had family members burst into uncontrollable sobbing before no amount of preparation readies you for the reality of looking at the person you love like this"

Piper just nodded and gingerly sat down in the chair next to Alex's bed grateful it was on Alex's left side, it meant she couldn't clearly see the incision. She immediately took Alex's hand in her own grateful for the comforting presence, pleased that the skin in her hand was warm proving that the life was still beating through her beloved. Piper brought the hand in her own up to her mouth and pressed a gentle kiss to Alex's palm before cupping Alex's hand against her own cheek her fluttering heart instantly calming at the familiar contact.

"Hey my darling, oh God look at you" a traitorous tear ran down her cheek and she wiped it away quickly, conscious of the nurse still standing in the room.

"I'm here now, I'm here and I'm not leaving so you don't need to worry anymore"

Piper watched in fascination as Alex's brow furrowed her right arm beginning to twitch sporadically every few minutes and she jumped up waiting, hoping until eventually Alex's eyelids fluttered and Piper found herself staring into deep green eyes.

"Hey it's me love, it's me I'm here" Piper ran a hand delicately across Alex's brow, terrified of causing her any pain, as tears pricked her eyelids from the overwhelming feeling of joy that washed over her at seeing Alex awake. Alex smiled tiredly under her oxygen mask and her right hand came up from the bed labouredly trying to touch Piper's face.

"P..Pi..Pi..er?"

Piper grasped Alex's flailing arm and placed it to her cheek tightly reassuring Alex that she was really there.

"Yes I'm here, I'm here and you're going to be fine babe. I love you and I'm so proud of you"

Alex continued to smile up at Piper through heavy eyes until the nurse bustled up to the bed she too smiling brightly.

"Hello Alex"

Alex's eyes tracked the voice and her eyes narrowed slightly before she looked between the nurse and Piper once more.

"P..Pi..Pi..Piper"

Piper was fighting the urge to worry at Alex's speech and lack of words but the nurse did not look at all perturbed she merely grinned and nodded in Piper's direction.

"Yes I've finally met your fiancée she's even more gorgeous in the flesh isn't she?"

Alex tried to incline her head immediately clenching her eyes shut a pained hiss escaping between her teeth.

"Don't move your head gesture if you have to but moving your head will be agonising for a while yet"

Alex grumbled and Piper fought down the urge to scold her knowing it would be futile. The nurse shooed Piper away from the side of the bed ignoring Alex's glare as she set about completing the first of her routine checks. These involved shining a light in Alex's eyes asking her various questions and checking the movement within her arms and legs. Alex's right side was moving although it was incredibly laboured but when the nurse asked Alex to move either her left arm or left leg there was no response. Alex was becoming visibly frustrated and Piper found herself becoming irritated at the nurse for causing Alex distress.

"Are you nearly done?"

The nurse nodded her head thoughtfully and continued to update the charts on her clipboard before she smiled a reassuring smile at a perturbed Alex.

"Don't worry about the lack of movement for now it has only been 32 hours your brain still needs plenty of rest"

Piper moved swiftly back to Alex's side and ran a comforting hand down Alex's arm.

"The same with the speech you just need to let your body heal"

Alex's scowl deepened and she rolled her eyes. The nurse didn't look impressed and when she spoke her tone was severe.

"This is going to be a long process you need to have patience if you push yourself too hard too soon you will only make the recovery more difficult"

Piper pressed a kiss to Alex's brow and took her hand back in her own smiling positively trying to ease Alex's frustration that was evident across her features. The nurse finished her writing and set the charts back onto the end of the bed before she fiddled with one of the machines next to Alex's bed.

"Right I've increased your morphine ever so slightly to take the edge of any pain. I'll see you in about 4 hours when I wake you for your next observations"

Piper thanked her softly and watched as the nurse quietly left the room. Once the door closed Piper turned back to Alex to see her love staring at her intently her eyes heavy with exhaustion.

"You need to get some more sleep"

Alex mumbled incoherently before she grunted her right arm coming to grasp Piper's shirt collar as tightly as she could. Piper covered Alex's hand locked on her shirt with her own and looked at her worriedly.

"What is it love?"

"S..so..y"

Piper looked confused for a moment but looking at Alex's crestfallen expression it didn't take long for Piper to put two and two together. Now that she was here in this room seeing Alex and the obvious proof of exactly what she had endured over these last 32 hours Piper could no longer muster up the same furious rage at being kept in the dark over Alex's surgery. Yes it had hurt and yes they would have to talk about it at some point in the future but right now looking at Alex's face creased with worry over her feelings while she had a 5 inch gash in her head Piper found she no longer cared. Now it was her own selfish actions that she felt more strongly about.

"You have nothing to be sorry for. If anybody should be sorry it's me I sat and sulked at home instead of being here by your side. I'm such a terrible person Al I'm sorry, I'm so sorry"

Tears built in Piper's eyes and she found a crushing guilt building in her stomach.

"Look at you, look what you're going through and I couldn't stop being selfish enough to be here when you woke up"

Piper held Alex's hand tightly in her own and kept her head bowed feeling so ashamed that she couldn't even bring herself to meet Alex's gaze.

"I don't know how you can even stand to look at me but I'm not leaving, I will not let you wake up on your own again ok? I promise"

Alex's hand pulled free from her grasp and she clumsily clutched Piper's chin and jerkily raised her head. Alex's eyes shone with love and Piper felt momentarily overwhelmed as Alex smiled at her reassuringly and Piper felt her heart melt at the sight. Pulling Alex's oxygen mask away from her face Piper pressed her lips to Alex's in a chaste kiss trying to convey the enormity of her feelings.

"L..l..l..."

Alex's face was pinched with frustration the words she wanted to say refusing to come out but Piper knew exactly what the love of her life was trying to tell her.

"I love you too now go to sleep I'll be here when you wake up"

Piper placed the oxygen mask back over Alex's nose and mouth and she smoothed her hair gently back away from the left side of her face. Alex looked as though she was trying to fight the urge to close her eyes and Piper stroked a finger across her brow and placed a kiss to the hand in her own.

"Sleep my darling"

As if she had been waiting for Piper's permission Alex let her eyes slide shut and she was fast asleep in a matter of seconds. Piper too felt the tiredness wash over her and she rested her head on the edge of Alex's bed against her thigh letting the warmth of her body ease her into a restless sleep.

A.N This is one of my favourite chapters so far so I really hope you all enjoyed :)