Vienna's POV

"Viridian."

He slams his fingers on the piano, stiffening up with annoyance. The fluffy white cat that was sleeping on top of the piano opens its big gray eyes and looks as if she wants to know why her nap was disturbed. Her name is Cadenza, and her personality is a lot like his.

"What do you want?" he asks, glaring over at me.

I sit next to him on the bench, trying to hold back tears. I have no idea how he's going to take this… I hope he can handle it.

"How's it going?" I look over to his sheet music, full of black-inked notes that I can't even follow. My brother is a young prodigy of a pianist, though he is slightly mentally disabled.

"HORRIBLE!" he shouts, slamming an angry chord, "Goddamn awful, Vienna!"

He slams angry, choppy chords with his long, slender fingers, face twisting with frustration. The chords ring so loudly that even Cadenza jumps from her spot. He grits his teeth, breathing loudly out of anger.

"Viridian." Sometimes he just needs to hear his name to snap out of it. I reach over and gently brush the green bangs out of his eyes. He seems to calm down slightly at my touch. "Relax. You'll get it someday."

He rubs his temples, sighing. "Vienna… I don't like being a retard." His fingers slide back to the keys, but this time he plays his favorite Moonlight Sonata quietly, which he knows perfectly from memory.

"Idian…" I whisper quietly, "That's a terrible word. Stop using it on yourself. Please." His fingers shake a bit as he hits the notes perfectly, and I bite my lip with a little sigh.

My stomach gets tighter as I prepare to tell him the news.

"Viridian." He looks over, his fingers not stopping their steady pace. I could never do that; I can't memorize music and I can't even play well, let alone not looking at my fingers. "I came in here to tell you some news."

He looks slightly interested but doesn't look over again. "Hm." He hums quietly along with his playing and I can only hope he's listening. Sometimes he is listening, even when humming, sometimes he's in lala land.

"It's… Not good news." I feel ready to vomit, tears coming to my eyes. "D-Diesel-" He looks over, still playing quietly.

"Yes, how is Diesel?"

I take a deep breath before just telling the news. "Diesel is dead." His playing stops abruptly.

"What."

I sigh quietly, an involuntary sniffle and tear coming with it. "Diesel is dead. He was shot." I wipe my eyes and the playing doesn't start again.

"You're…" he stops, though his vocal chords keep humming a single speaking tone. "…Sad."

I sniffle and nod, trying not to get angry with him. "I'm going to miss him."

Going to miss him is a gross understatement. What am I supposed to do? The love of my life, the boy with a dazzling smile and beautifully blue eyes, he's gone. Just like that he's gone. I said goodbye under the willow tree the night he ran away to board the train the next day. I kissed him. I told him he'd better come back. He kissed me and it got kinda heated. He unraveled my pigtails and unwound them but soon he had to go. Yeah, we've had sex before, but I wanted a memory of him to hold on to. I never thought he'd die.

He was supposed to come home. Mary Catherine said he was going to soon be on his way. And now he is coming home, but not alive. I didn't get to tell him that I loved him, so I'm sure he didn't think anything of the kisses we shared. But I did.

When Viridian came home, he was all shaken up and frazzled. He never told me why, though.

Tears leak out of my eyes that I wipe away angrily. Viridian reaches over and pats my head. "I'm sorry, sad little sister."

I stand up, surprised at his calm attitude. "I'm sorry it had to be like this, Viridian." I walk off to my room, tears continuing to bubble up in my eyes.

Viridian goes back to his sonata and doesn't stray from it for the rest of the day. I sit up in my room and let the tears come as they will.

~.~.

"Get up!" shouts Dad, "Get up and get out, your mother and I are having company!"

He flicks on the light in my bedroom. I groan and roll out of bed, going to Viridian's room to get him up.

"Dress nicely," I say quietly. "It's funeral day."

He looks up, his deep green hair sticking up all over the place. "Huh?"

"GET UP!" Dad shouts, slamming a fist against the wall.

"Diesel," I say quickly, "It's Diesel's funeral today."

He looks up at me, his naturally blue eyes cloudy with sleep. "Oh." He rolls out of bed, Cadenza meowing in distaste at the action. He walks to his closet and, knowing he's taken care of, I go back to my room.

I change into the little black dress I always used to wear to try and get Diesel to notice me. I part my hair down the middle and put it up in pigtails, winding the pigtails nice and close to my head. Eventually, as I'm winding, I hear Viridian and Dad screaming at each other and sigh, trying to speed up the preparing process.

I've just started doing make-up when I hear a loud cry come from the kitchen. "Fuck it," I mumble, throwing the rest of my makeup into my purse and running to the kitchen as fast as I can in high heels.

When I get there, Viridian is curled up into a ball, crying violently, and Dad is standing over him and growling.

"Cut it out!" I say harshly, shoving Dad back and helping Viridian stand up.

"C'mon," I say quietly, "Though there's no reason we shouldn't meet Mom and Dad's friends," I say, practically spitting in the man's direction.

"It's because you two are embarrassing! How the hell did we give birth to two desperate sluts!? And not to mention retarded and unhealthily obsessed with the girly piano! Can you do anything right!?" he shouts.

I grab Viridian's arm. "We're leaving." We escape the house, Viridian soon breaking out into a run.

I pull him into an ally so we can compose ourselves and catch our breath. He collapses on the ground again and I kneel by him.

"Viridian." I wipe tears from his cheeks gently. "He knows nothing."

My brother looks at me with defeated eyes. "He knows more than we do. Than I do." I shake my head. He nods.

"C'mon," I say quietly, "Let's just get to the funeral home." I can't help him right now. I help him stand up and together we walk to the funeral home.

The room for Diesel Bundren is small, and it has a tiny piano in it and a warm, homely feel.

Mary Catherine, Diesel's sister, runs over and hugs me as soon as she sees us. "Hi," I say quietly. She sobs into my shoulder.

"Th-Thanks for coming," she forces out, sniffling. I know how much she's trying to keep it together.

She hugs Viridian and sobs into his chest. I never thought I'd see her such a mess. I never thought I'd be such a mess. It hasn't been five minutes and I'm already crying badly. It's the combination of losing my love and of seeing Mary Catherine, my best friend, so beside herself.

Viridian's face falls and he strokes her hair gently. "I'm sorry, sad Mary Catherine," he says, voice shaking.

"It's not your fault," she says quietly. She releases him, wiping her eyes and nose.

"How've you been?" I ask, "How's Sharon been?"

She bites her lip, and I know that talking about her mom is rocky territory. "Sharon's been constantly on my ass. Bitching and moaning. But I'm doing fine."

I know it's barely true, but let her think I believe it. Neither of us are fooled.

"Mary Catherine, you're different," Viridian says, resting his chin on his knuckles thoughtfully. "And you're hugging differently, as well."

I didn't notice anything. That's the thing about Viridian, he picks up on things like that better than anyone, things that nobody else would even think to notice. He's brilliant, but not in the way everyone thinks is acceptable.

"I'm fine, you're delusional!" she shouts, tears stroking down her cheeks, her face and eyes red with tears that I'm sure haven't stopped since at least last evening. She crosses her arms over her stomach, which is a telltale sign for me.

"Are you… pregnant, Mary Catherine?" I ask. It's not the first time. The first time was when we were in high school, to Devin Ackerman. She got an abortion on that one, but never fully recovered from it.

She dry-heaves. "N-No! I'm not fucking pregnant!" Then she runs off to the bathroom, swearing under her breath.

Viridian turns to me, looking at me with very serious eyes. "So… She is… Sick?"

"Yes." I wipe tears out of my eyes. I walk to the body slowly, Viridian following. I glance at the casket and collapse on my knees, burying my face in my arms. I thought I was ready to see him, but I'm not. His silky black hair, his pale skin even paler than before, his face frozen in death.

I feel two fingers lightly touch my back. "Diesel…?" I realize that Viridian must not understand death very well. He would have no reason to, really, this is the first person either of us cared for that's passed away.

I hear him plop down on his knees beside me. A choked sob escapes his lips.

I realize in that moment that this is normal for District people. That they have to get used to seeing the ones they love die so young, and lie on a white casket with fatal injuries showing large and clear. I involuntarily squeak and bury my face again, trying to tune out Viridian's choked sobs.

I feel a gentle hand on my head and look up to see Mary Catherine there, wiping her eyes. Her other hand rests gently on Viridian's head.

"Can I talk to you guys? Privately?" she glances over to her parents, who are talking to some of their friends. I nod, trying to coax my brother to stand up. "C'mon."

He bites his lip hard and is shaking when he stands up, like he could explode at any second. I link our elbows and Mary Catherine walks outside and pulls us behind the building, the summer breeze gentle and light.

"You can't tell a single soul any of this," Mary Catherine growls, "Understand?" I nod and Viridian taps his fingers on his legs frantically.

"I'm pregnant." It's really not a shock after having seen how she was acting earlier.

"Who's?" It's the first word he's said since seeing the body.

Her eyes flicker around before she stares at our feet. "I don't know. He showed up out of nowhere, pinned me against the wall, and that was it." She throws up her arms, tears pouring down her cheeks. "I was going to tell Diesel as soon as he got back, but…"

"Yeah…"

"I'm gonna kill him," Viridian says, hands clenched up into fists. I've never seen him this angry and hurt before.

"Viridian, no-"

"I'm gonna find him and I'm gonna kill him!"

"Please! J-Just keep it on the down-low… I guess I deserve it after what I've done to so many people… Karma's a bitch and I've just gotten my serving."

"I'm gonna kill him!" Viridian shouts. I rub his back gently.

"Mary Catherine…"

"I'm not gonna abort this one… The last time was just so awful…"

"Are you sure?"

"Yes!" she shouts. I nod a bit.

Mary Catherine wipes her eyes. "Sorry. I'm just a bit scared…"

"We'll be right next to you through all of it. We promise."

"I'm gonna kill him," Viridian mutters.

"Also…" She bites her lip. "I found this in Diesel's pocket and I thought you deserved to have it." She takes Viridian's fist, which he opens though it's shaking, and she puts a piece of paper there.

"I-I have to get back in there. The service is going to start."

I nod and follow, Viridian following last and putting the paper in his pocket.

The service starts soon after, with a couple of songs like Danny Boy, and one that Mary Catherine sings in Gaelic from start to end. Then everyone has a moment of silence and then people can take the stage to say some words.

Sharon goes first, making a speech about how she and her son may've butted heads a lot, but she was depending on him to get home so he could go to Gamemaker school like he "always planned to do" (Mary Catherine was ready to scream but I stopped her from making a scene). His father Bud takes the podium next and talks about what a dashing young man Diesel was and how much he'll be missed. The speech is at least nicer in word choice, though there's an air of mild disappointment and nothing more at the loss of a son.

A couple of their parents friends speak words about the one time they talked to him or that one time they saw him at a party, chatting up the girls "like typical Diesel" (these people didn't know him at all).

Then, Mary Catherine finally got to the podium.

"I'm not gonna talk forever because all you fuckers out there don't care what I have to say, especially you, Sharon. Diesel was loud, often drunk, sexual, and annoying, but he was a good person. I'm sure not a lot of people can see that, because he hides it under layers of drunkenness, sex jokes, and offensive topics. I believe that he was always a good person, though. Even if nobody else does. It only shone sometimes, sometimes when he sang or when he talked in Gaelic or when someone actually made him laugh. Not a lot of people got to see it. And that's the worst part. He definitely made mistakes." She scoffs, "But so have I. And so have my good-for-nothing parents." A couple of people gasp but Mary Catherine keeps talking. "But I think it ate away at him. More than he let on to any of us." Viridian buries his face in his hands. My tears are at a momentary pause.

"He was a twat, but he was our twat. And some people," she glares at her parents, "Didn't treat him right. He was an ass, but he was our ass. He was-"

"Mary Catherine, that's enough!" Sharon says. She doesn't sound very happy.

"Anyways, fuck you," Mary Catherine says, before sliding next to me.

In a split-second decision, I run up to the podium to try and smooth things over. I don't want Mary Catherine to get into too much trouble, especially because I can't do much for her because of our jackass parents.

"Er, uh, I think we can agree that Diesel had his faults. And that we all have our faults, all of us. It's just a part of life. But, even though it may not seem it, Diesel had good qualities, too, and a lot of them. He had the prettiest smile, when it was a real smile, and his laugh could light up a room." I laugh a little just thinking about it. "He put his all into everything he did, which is saying more than most. He was persistent and though he was misguided at times, I think that deep down he was a good soul. And I'm sure that wherever souls go wherever they die will be a brighter place now that he's there, though…" I bite my lip, "My life will be a lot darker without his light." I avoid looking at Viridian and Mary Catherine. "And I know it may seem really corny, but…" I laugh a little, a bitter, nervous laugh, "What else do you say when the love of your life passes away?"

There's complete silence. I shrug my shoulders a little bit and step down, taking my seat next to Viridian, who immediately gets up. "Wait!"

"You don't have to-"

"Sh. Yeah I do." He takes the podium before Sharon can stop him.

"When I first met Diesel, I didn't know what to think of him. He was a big presence, especially when drunk. But, over the course of time, he and I became good friends. He was the only guy I've ever met that hasn't called me a retard. And he stuck with me through everything. And I'm sorry, sad Vienna, and sad Mary Catherine, and sad people, but I'm sad too. I just want Diesel back."

He hums as he sits next to me, and then everyone leaves except those who are dedicated enough to stay for the burial (so basically me and Mary Catherine and Viridian and Bud). Viridian hums quietly as they lower the body into the ground, and Mary Catherine and I listen quietly, bawling our eyes out.

Then, we go home, and over the course of a couple weeks, try to get on with our lives.

Viridian stays locked up in the piano room, refusing to go to school or do anything for two months. He plays sonatas and nocturnes, with Cadenza in the room. He shoos off anyone who tries to step foot in there, and ignores what they say. He doesn't cope well, and I wonder why he took it so hard.

I feel like I cope better, getting back to life and going to school again soon, though nothing is the same. More and more talk of rebellion comes up, and more and more news of the Districts rebelling comes up on those few honest news programs, which are soon shut down.

Rebellion is coming, and it's burning red-hot. I hope that this talk of a draft stays at bay and that the three of us can survive together though all the odds.

~.~.

Dear Viridian (my little Tweety-Bird),

Being away at District 12, I've made some awful decisions. Every time I would wake up next to someone, I'd wish it was you. Being away made me realize that I have trouble living when you're not there.

I know it's weird, but you were there with me through all the shit from my parents, sometimes when Mary Catherine and Vienna weren't. I can't thank you enough.

And being away for so long, away from your smile and your messy hair and your bright eyes has made me realize that my attraction to you has always been so much more than just physical. I didn't know that at the time, when my head was in the clouds and all I ever wanted was sex. But now, having been away for so long and getting hit on and doing things with people I didn't care for… Now I realize.

I always thought my passion for you lay in your looks and perfect ass, but now that I haven't talked to you in so many months, I realize that it's everything about you. Your talent, your personality, your smile… It's really everything.

I love you. I fucking love you, Viridian Turner. Every move you make, every step you take, every note you play, every smile, every laugh… I love you.

And as soon as I get home, I'm going to tell you. But if I don't, then you're going to find out like this. And if that's the case, I'm sorry I wasn't good enough.

Love,

Diesel Bundren