A.N I had a plan when I started writing this story which I deviated from when I saw how much interest people held in this tale it has genuinely taken me by surprise and originally I had not planned to write this many chapters.

Thank you for the reviews ... 210 I can scarcely believe it I'm so grateful!

I am trying to still update regularly even though life is getting terribly busy at the moment and I thank you all for bearing with me and leaving your kind words after each chapter.

"Al... Alex wake up"

Alex squinted blearily the light coming through the curtains making her immediately slam her eyes back shut. The brightness was blinding making her head throb and a wave of nausea ran over her body settling into her stomach making her want to heave.

"Al come on you need to wake up"

Her head felt terrible like a herd of elephants were pounding through her brain as Piper's voice rang in her ears. She groaned and rolled her tongue around her mouth almost gagging at the taste of stale whiskey that lingered on her gums.

"I've brought you some water come on sit up"

Alex forced one eye open and Piper's concerned face slowly came into view, crouched at the side of the bed. Alex tried to smile but she was fairly certain she failed when Piper winced sympathetically her face creased with concern.

"How much whiskey did you 'taste' yesterday?"

"Too fucking much" her voice sounded gravelled, hoarse and Alex would have laughed at how terrible she sounded had she not felt quite so awful. Her chest felt tight and she coughed hard wincing as it aggravated her headache and caused her throat to burn.

"I'm going to kill my dad on Christmas Eve"

Alex chuckled immediately wishing she hadn't when her head throbbed in response. Right at this moment she too felt like she could cause bodily harm to one Bill Chapman. Stretching her body Alex finally opened both eyes feeling relieved when it no longer hurt just to see.

"Have a drink love it'll make you feel better"

Alex gratefully took the offered glass gulping the cold water down quickly immediately feeling some relief as it did remove some of the foul taste from her mouth.

"What time is it?"

Alex groped for her glasses on the bedside table and she scowled when she couldn't find them until Piper pressed them to her hand. Alex smiled softly in thanks and placed her glasses onto her face the room coming into clearer focus.

"Just after dinner I didn't want to wake you too early but I was getting worried"

Alex reached for Piper's hand and pulled her arm gesturing for her to get into bed. Piper tucked into the groove of Alex's body immediately becoming her 'little spoon' and Alex sighed as the warmth from Piper's body seeped into her skin, she felt cold and shivery as if damp had settled right into her very bones.

"You are so warm"

Alex frowned she didn't feel warm but she stayed quiet not wanting Piper to fuss over her too much. It would be unfair to cause her love to worry all because she was suffering from a self inflicted hangover. Coughing again Alex tried to still her body not wanting to dislodge Piper but it was futile. The hacking cough wouldn't shift and she sat slowly upright the room spinning as her chest heaved. Piper followed her movement coming to sit upright at the side of her rubbing her back as Alex coughed and spluttered. As she tried to control her breathing age watched as Piper's face became serious, her brow creased with concern. Slowly the coughing eased and Alex felt her chest loosen enough to allow her to take a deep breath. Piper's face relaxed slightly but then she sneezed and Piper immediately scowled jumping upright.

"I knew it, I knew you were poorly I think we should go to the hospital"

Alex reached for Piper's hand stopping her mid pace and she made sure her face was set in a reassuring smile "Pipes it's just a cold I'll b..be fine"

"But Nurse Stevens said-" Alex shook her head and pressed her finger to Piper's lips. Ignoring the worried scowl that was creasing her love's forehead she pulled Piper back onto the bed so that she was sat in front of her. Alex cupped Piper's chin and made her look directly into her eyes as she spoke keeping her voice calm.

"Nurse Stevens said to keep an eye out for things that are out of the ordinary. I'm not dying Kid it's just a cough and a cold it's nothing I haven't had b..before"

Piper still looked worried and she ran her hand over Alex's scar causing Alex to wince slightly. It still felt tender even though the incision had healed, the staples removed and her hair had begun to grow back slowly.

"How do you feel honestly?"

Alex rolled her eyes "Like shit"

Piper's eyes widened in alarm.

"B..But I think it's more to do with the hangover from hell I'm currently experiencing"

Piper nudged her playfully then settled back into Alex's arms her body was still slightly tense and Alex ran a hand slowly up and down her arm trying to ease the taught muscles. Slowly but surely she felt Piper's body begin to relax back into her own and she smiled softly.

"Did you buy any of the whiskey you tried?"

Alex shook her head "No but I think your dad b..bought more than his fair share I b..bet your mum went mental when he arrived home"

"Oh well it will have made his appearance at the Mason's slightly more bearable with something decent to drink. Irene Mason usually insists on everyone drinking eggnog or mulled wine much to dads disgust"

Alex chuckled understanding Bill's horror she never had understood the holiday tradition of eggnog or snowballs they were vile tasting yet everyone suffered through them for the sake of holiday spirit.

"Are you sure you don't want to go to your parents on Christmas Day?"

Piper turned in Alex's arms so that she was looking into the bright blue eyes Alex loved so much "No I don't I want to stay here just me, you and the Christmas tree I have finished putting up this morning, maybe ask Nicky if she fancies a visit?"

Alex nodded although she still felt a little uncertain and she marked it down to guilt that she was the reason Piper didn't want to be with her family.

"You can go if you want to I wouldn't mind I could always stay here with Nichols" Piper sulked pouting and she pressed her lips to Alex's causing Alex to sigh happily into the tender embrace.

"Well I would mind I'm not spending Christmas without my fiancée. I would have to be mad to pick my mother over you and besides Cal says he'll come to visit after Boxing Day so we can see him then"

Alex smiled genuinely she really liked Piper's younger brother his quirkiness made her laugh and he was so chilled and down to earth it was always nice to spend time catching up with him.

"He says he's got some news to tell us I'm wondering if he's proposed to Neri"

"Hmm or she's pregnant!"

Piper laughed loudly her body finally relaxing fully and Alex snuggled her closer.

"God I can't imagine Cal with a baby can you?" Alex just chuckled shaking her head at the thought.

Feeling a chill run over her she shivered wrapping her legs in Piper's trying to gain some more warmth and Piper obliged cuddling her closely.

"Do you want some more water?"

Alex shook her head she didn't want Piper to move her body was relaxing into the warmth making her feel sleepy and she closed her eyes basking in the softness of their bed.

"I forget to say Dan called for you this morning"

A flutter of nerves pricked at her stomach and Alex opened her eyes to quickly study Piper's expression "Oh?"

"Nothing serious he just wants you to go and see him next week for a check up I think he wants to make your appointment with the radiographer"

Alex winced slightly although she knew it was necessary the radiography was exhausting and not a particularly pleasant experience although she was pleased it wasn't chemotherapy. It was a silly thought but when she had first found out about the cancer her main worry was that she would have to submit to chemotherapy and would in turn lose all of her hair with radiography the risk was reduced. Even though it was a small price to pay, she reasoned, for survival it was still a thought that had terrified her.

"Is it bad Al?"

Piper's gentle voice, laced with concern, pulled her from her thoughts and she smiled reassuringly cupping Piper's chin in her hand "No it isn't anywhere near as b..bad as the surgery was its just tiring"

Piper cuddled into her pressing a kiss to her neck and Piper's affection washed over her warming her heart.

"I heart you kid"

Piper giggled the sound making Alex smile and she pressed her lips to Piper's forehead "Well I love you Ms Vause"

Alex could feel her eyes growing heavy and she let her head rest more firmly into the soft pillow.

"I can't believe you're still tired"

"Hey I did a lot of shopping yesterday"

Piper wrapped her hand around her own and Alex entwined their fingers together "Did you get something for my mum?"

Alex chuckled "Oh yes whether she appreciates it is another thing"

"And did you get something for me?"

Alex smirked at the nonchalant tone Piper had always been a big kid when it came to presents and she knew deep down Piper would be anxious to know what she had been bought.

"Yeah I picked something up"

"Can I have a clue?"

Alex chuckled hoarsely and shook her head. Yesterday Bill had been shocked when Alex had told him what she intended to buy for Piper but his shock had soon turned to excitement. They had headed to a small jewellers that Alex knew did unique designs and she had carefully chosen a piece of jewellery that she hoped Piper would truly appreciate. Bill had beamed with approval and pulled her in for a hug while the cashier carefully wrapped the chosen purchase he was certain Piper would fall in love the moment she saw it.

"No you will have to b..be a good girl and wait"

Alex tickled Piper's tummy giggling as her love tried to bat her hands away her body squirming "Alex!"

She stopped tickling and pulled Piper back into her embrace holding her tightly she could feel her eyelids beginning to droop and she let them slide shut concentrating on the soothing sensation of Piper drawing circles on her hand.

"You going to have another sleep?"

Alex coughed and wheezed before she nodded her eyes watering at the rawness in her throat.

"It will probably do you some good"

Piper went to sit up but Alex kept hold of her hand tightly "Will you stay just for a bit?"

Alex knew she was being selfish but she pouted up at Piper knowing her blonde haired lover would give in. She smiled as Piper rolled her eyes but settled back into her arms without a struggle and within minutes she could feel her body beginning to relax "Thanks Kid"

"You don't need to thank me you daft sod" Piper kissed her softly while rolling her eyes "Now go to sleep" Alex did not put up a fight she closed her eyes and let her body relax doing exactly as she was as told.

"Chapman you saw me yesterday am I that irresistible that you can't go 24 hours without hearing my voice"

Piper laughed out loud clamping her hand over her mouth so as not to disturb Alex who was still fast asleep in the bedroom.

"You're right I just couldn't go another moment without hearing your incredibly sexy tones"

"Ha I knew it"

Piper smiled wildly as she curled up into her armchair trying to will her nerves away there was a reason for her phone call she just didn't quite know how to ask the question she wanted to ask.

"How's my favourite lesbian this evening?"

"I'm fine thanks"

Nicky chuckled "Finally accepting the lesbian title are you Chapman? I thought you fell somewhere on the spectrum?"

"Ok your favourite lesbian is still in bed trying to sleep off the whiskey induced hangover from last night"

"Has she woken at all?"

"Briefly at dinner time but she's practically unconscious now snoring away with her mouth open I'm just keeping quiet out of the way"

"God she's hilarious drunk I really need to see that more often! I'm sure we can arrange a drinking session in the spirit of the Christmas festivities"

Piper took a deep breath this was her opening and she needed to seize it with both hands.

"Actually Nic that's why I'm calling"

"Oh I'm intrigued go on"

Piper went silent for a second almost laughing when Nicky huffed impatiently down the phone.

"Spit it out Chapman I'm in the middle of something here"

The flirty cocky tone was not missed and Piper groaned mortified "Please tell me I'm not interrupting you having sex"

Nicky laughed heartily and Piper let out an embarrassed groan "No, no you're not" Piper let out a relived sigh "You would have been if you had called 10 minutes earlier. My mouth would have been too preoccupied to answer the phone if you catch my drift"

Piper laughed although her cheeks blushed with embarrassment Nicky always managed to make her simultaneously laugh and cringe.

"Anyway we're getting off track why is it you called?"

"Have you made any plans for Christmas Day yet?"

Nicky went quiet and Piper knew this was a sensitive topic Nicky's relationship with her mother was more tenacious than the one she had with her own. Piper listened as Nicky sighed heavily "Nope no plans my mother's having her Christmas in Europe so I'm a free agent. Least having Christmas with me, myself and I means no arguments so hey it's all positive"

Piper could hear the anger in Nicky's voice although she was trying to hide it well.

"Well I was hoping that was the case"

"Nice Chapman thanks for that"

"Oh shut up. I was hoping you were free because I wanted to invite you to spend Christmas Day with me and Alex"

When Nicky didn't respond Piper began to worry and she held the phone away from her ear checking the call was still connected "Nic?"

"I wouldn't want to impose Chapman"

"You wouldn't be honestly. I just think it would be nice for the three of us to have lunch together and give presents you can come at dinner time and then we can eat drink and be merry"

Piper knew she was rambling but she really wanted Nicky to say yes.

"It'll be great you can help me keep Alex happy she's a miserable bugger over Christmas I always call her Scrooge. I'm sure she'll be happier if she has you as a drinking buddy that way she can get nice and drunk while I get to watch all the Christmas films without her moaning she's bored! Come on Nic it'll be fun, please?"

"Well I suppose I could drop by"

Piper fist pumped the air and had to hold back the excited scream that was threatening to burst from her body.

"But Chapman?"

"Yes?"

"Make sure you have plenty of fucking whiskey I wanna get Vause trashed!"

The next time Alex awoke it was dark, the room pitch black and she was surprised that she had managed to sleep again for so long. Her chest felt considerably tighter and she wheezed miserably wincing as the action caused it to feel as though her lungs were on fire. Her headache had returned in full force even moving her eyes from side to side caused her head to throb and her stomach to churn. She had not woken with a headache this intense since before her surgery and she wanted to groan aloud at the pressure that was building behind her eyes. Alex willed her nausea to die down so that she could get up for some of her stronger painkillers hoping that they would at least provide some relief. Her stomach clenched and her chest rattled as she tried to take in deep relaxing breaths but it did nothing to lessen the pain or sickness.

Beginning to cough Alex shuddered her chest heavy she struggled to pull in enough air and it felt like she was choking. Struggling to sit upright she groaned as she dry heaved from the nausea and the combined sensation of coughing and heaving frightened her. Her muscles seized and ached as the coughing intensified, she could feel herself beginning to panic and clenched her eyes shut against the feeling of fear willing herself to calm down.

Warm hands settled on her shoulders rubbing at the tense muscles and she struggled to focus her concentrating as Piper's calm soothing voice began to register.

"Breathe Alex deep breaths in and out come on follow me, in and out"

Alex concentrated hard on Piper matching her breaths with her own and slowly the coughing slowed and her chest eased slightly although her breath still rattled as she breathed in and out.

"We need to go to the hospital"

"I don't want to go"

Her voice was hoarse and now she had opened her eyes she could clearly see the fear across Piper's face, could feel her hands shaking as they gripped her shoulders.

"Please Alex it's not right, something's not right"

Alex didn't answer she didn't want to admit that Piper was right but she felt scared she did not want to be stuck in a hospital bed again she just wanted to stay here, at home, with Piper.

"I'm so fed up with it all Pipes... how is this fair... They let me home I'm meant to b..be getting b..better... instead I'm stuck with a ... shitty fucking cold"

"This isn't just a cold Al"

Piper stood up and turned on the bedside lamp casing Alex to wince at the brightness as it jarred her aching head. Piper cupped her face in her hands running a soothing finger up and down her cheek.

"We can go get it checked out and then you can come home"

Still wheezing Alex nodded reluctantly she could see Piper's point and she also knew Piper was scared it was understandable after everything she had witnessed these last few weeks. Now that she was more aware of her surroundings Alex could feel her body shivering and she realised the sheets she was sitting on were damp with sweat.

"Your face is burning up yet I can feel your body shaking are you cold?"

Alex nodded and Piper's forehead creased with worry. Alex knew she was trying to hide the panic but Alex could practically feel the nerves radiating through Piper's warm shaking hands.

"We're going to get dressed and then I'll ring the hospital tell them we're on our way ok?"

Alex nodded sluggishly her head feeling like a dead weight. 15 minutes later she was dressed and sat propped up against the headboard while Piper was rushing around her flat throwing things in an overnight bag. It was taking all her concentration just to be able to get her breath just the simple act of getting changed had taken its toll and her chest had constricted feeling painfully tight. Right now she had never felt so grateful for Piper's fussing her fear was beginning to get the better of her abs she wanted Piper sat here holding her hand telling her it would all be fine.

"Pipes?..."

Shouting for Piper caused her voice to break and her chest to heave and she closed her eyes against the sensation.

"I'm coming Al, 2 seconds"

Alex fought hard to control her heaving body and when Piper emerged she was tucking her phone back into her jeans pocket.

"You...spoke..to..hospital?"

Piper shook her head looking wary and Alex felt her hackles rise "What..Piper?"

"Don't lose your temper please? You need to stay calm your struggling to breathe normally as it is"

Piper's words did nothing to appease her and she glared in a silent warning.

"Nicky's coming to take us"

Alex practically growled but before she could speak Piper continued to ramble.

"I didn't know what else to do I don't want to be driving Al while your like this I'd be worried and unsafe and it's half past 12 at night and..."

Alex couldn't concentrate on Pipers continued words her chest tightened considerably her airway feeling as those it was closing and she wheezed as Piper continued to pace in front of her.

"Pipes..."

"No I know what you're going to say but I really think..."

White noise rang in Alex's ears she began to cough and splutter her chest feeling like it was being pressed down upon with a heavy weight and she gasped trying to draw her breath.

"Kid..."

Alex watched through blurring vision as Piper's eyes widened, her attention gained and she hurried over her hands coming to rest on her shaking shoulders.

"Jesus Alex, breathe come on baby breathe"

Alex tried she really did but it was futile she just couldn't draw the breath she desperately needed. She began to panic and as her body struggled her eyes tunnel visioned she just couldn't concentrate on Piper's beautiful face even as the tears built in Piper's panic stricken eyes and she felt the darkness take over.

"Alex stay with me!"

"Alex!"

"ALEX!"

A.N I am now going to run and hide while praying you all forgive me...