Decision made, he just had to choose how to go about it.
Kayo didn't or couldn't talk about it yet. Frustrating but understandable.
She'd probably loved John more than anyone else on the island knew. The only way he knew was because he was youngest—people talked to him about things. For the most part, it was nothing overly important, nothing vital, but they were interesting things. Things like the fact that if John had ever proposed, she'd have said yes in less than a heartbeat. Like that John, for all that he seemed to have this odd detachment to everything, he cared for Kayo more than he could ever have put into words or truly express. This was why Alan struggled so much to understand why John had done this to her.
He adored her.
She was possibly the only person he could actually talk to. This made no sense at all.
Something was very, very wrong here.
He had to do… something. What, though?
It wasn't John. This couldn't be Johnny.
That meant that either it wasn't him. Literally. Or something had changed him, affected him. What, though?
Was there a way to find out?
Eos and Brains were searching Five's systems for 'clues,' but he wasn't sure he could get them to talk to him about it.
Alan was the baby, which meant that he didn't have much say or power. He needed to be 'protected'—everyone forgot he was an adult. Admittedly sometimes he didn't act like one and sometimes he liked to be looked after, but that didn't change the fact that sometimes he wanted to be treated like the adult he was.
He could, he guessed, talk to Eos. But if she had been told not to say anything by someone with 'more power,' then there was nothing he would be able to do to get her to speak up. It was infuriating, though, because it was keeping secrets that had got them into this situation in the first place.
He sighed, pushing the heels of his hands against his eyes.
He was tired.
He'd not slept a great deal since the accident. He couldn't get the image out of his head. Every time he shut his eyes, all he could see was the explosion. He still didn't know how John had done it, and because of that, he still felt guilty. Maybe he'd feel guilty even if he did know, he couldn't say. All he knew was that deep down it still ate at him.
*Your fault,* that little voice in the back of his mind said. *John lied about everything else, why wouldn't he lie about this? You did."
No.
He shook his head, dislodging the thoughts. They weren't going to help him.
For now he needed to get the files.
Time to dig. He needed his laptop and pads of passwords.
Thank you for putting up with my super sporadic updates. 3