Disclaimer: "Detective Conan" belongs to Gosho Aoyama, and "Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon" belongs to Naoko Takeuchi.
This is an alternative story to my other fanfic "Encounter in Venice" and one of the possibilities of what could have happened if Ai had taken the antidote before Shinichi brought down the Organization.
Thanks a lot to my friends and betas Rae (Astarael00) and SN1987a and the Aicoholics on LiveJournal, without whom I would never have started this fic.
FS
g.
Ghost at Twilight
(edited version)
g.
When you finally…
When you finally close your eyes and abandon yourself to your exhaustion, resigning yourself to the reality that most people leave this world alone, you can feel his familiar presence hurrying back to you and force open your eyes. Silhouetted against the flickering green lanterns, the harsh, warm artificial light of the street lamps, and the soft, cool moonlight of the ending twilight, with his hair flying in the wind and his hands half-hovering, half-hanging helplessly beside the bottomless pockets of his jacket, he gazes down at you in silence and you both hesitate.
You know what he wants to say but can't, as words always fail you in these situations as well. Words, in this cynical, tired world, have the tragic tendency to distort the very thing they're supposed to express. The truth often remains hidden in the silence and between the lines, when no word can fill the gaps.
"Have you forgotten something?" you ask at last, a seemingly innocent question, whose mundane and pragmatic character successfully anchors this floating, ever-changing world to earth. "I thought you had to fetch—"
"I'll have to run, I know!" In spite of his words, he comfortably ensconces himself on the bench next to you. "But I think I can steal a few minutes."
The last rays of sunlight are hovering over the horizon, tinting the thin stripe of the starry sky a deep shade of mauve; and you finally remember what you've forgotten, what you've successfully banished from your mind: the wish to wake up from this eternal sleep, to take your life into your own hands and live—even when it's just for another day.
"Say, what would you do if you had very little time left?" Your voice is only a whisper, barely audible to yourself in the rustle of leaves around you.
He has succeeded to surmount all the obstacles on the way—breaking down the barriers between him and you even when you were too exhausted, too moody, or too scared of failure to let him into this Rapunzel fortress you've built. But the last obstacle is an enemy neither of you can overcome. Fate might have been your opponent, but Time has been your most fearsome adversary—the ruthless, merciless, faceless Boss, whose crows will always stay loyal and whose organization will always win in the end. You are proud that you've managed to cheat Time a bit, bending it, stretching it, changing it, stealing it—although you've always known that, eventually, it will get you.
He gives you a nostalgic glance and looks thoughtfully away, into the cool moonlight reflecting off the glittering pond, glowing in a silver-blue hue as the sunlight is fading. The faint buzzing, beeping sound in the distance has grown more distinct, pulsating away the eroding time in an erratic rhythm.
"Unfortunately…" He takes your hand, and his eyes twinkle as the merest hint of a smile curves his lips before he grins. "It's nothing I can do all by myself!"
From the inner pocket of his jacket, he produces a floribunda he has found on the way, claiming its colour is the most perfect blue he has ever spotted. The rose must be of a velvety red or rosé or lavender in daylight—but in the darkness of the ending twilight, snug in your cupped hand and in the shadow between him and you, reflecting the moonlight mirrored in the ruffled water of the pond, it's as grey as a rose of the bluest blue.
Whatever may happen in your time and space—he and you will never meet again. You run your fingers through his hair and lean into his reassuring warmth, burying yourself in the familiar scent of his skin. The last ray of sunlight on the horizon fades away, and the world dissolves in an indigo haze.
The beeping stops—and the silence falls over the world while you two stay on the bench with each other but don't say a word, defying the last rule of the universe.
g.a.t.
Your souls are still stuck between Acheron and Styx,
exchanging caresses, which displease Charon.
The Gods can't agree whether you've won or lost.
The Court has been adjoined,
for the voting system
is crooked.
g.
The Bosses say you've lost. Minerva says you've won.
Justitia, nonplussed, consults worn scales, which don't work.
Chronos complains that Time has been cut,
and Ares is bored silly
by the abysmal
lack of
blood.
g.
Aphrodite is pleased that you have stuck by your ally,
While Felicitas is sulking, claiming you have ignored her help.
Amor only laughed and loaded his torch and bow
—and is shooting at Mercury,
who has evaded them
until now.
g.
Fortuna and Apollo leave after wishing you two luck,
for all the three Fates have fallen asleep at the table.
Zeus is incensed at the general lack of respect.
But Nemesis remarks that Olympus is
badly managed.
g.
As Olympus is burning and all the gods are fighting,
Charon, fed up, resolves to quit his job.
On Styx, under the moonlight,
the boat is cozy and quiet,
and you two kiss,
agreeing that
losing is
right.
G.a.T.
A/N 1:
I've finally completed a long multi-chapter! *glomps SN/Ritz, who has read and commented and chatted with me for years! The woman is just as indispensable just as she is great! I'm easily distracted and have many time-consuming hobbies. Without her, it would have taken me another decade to finish the story.
I'm curious to learn about what you think of the ending, so please feel free to discuss the story with me if you feel like doing it.
Kudos to the patient readers who've managed to follow this until the end despite my extremely slow and irregular updates over the years. Special thanks and virtual cookies to all the great readers who have pampered me with constructive reviews, especially those who have reviewed more than once and those who have supported me regularly! :) The discussions helped me to stay motivated.
I think I really have to expand this old A/N by thanking Muphrid, who has spoiled me with epic reviews and fic-related convos at the time I began to wonder whether anyone but Ritz, who got nagged into reading and reviewing despite having left the DC fandom, would get to the ending. It was the beginning of a wonderful though tumultuous waifuship! XD Grandpa will definitely gets a Christmas present for this.
Also, lots of thanks again to Rae and SN! Rae betaed the first chapters before the four-year hiatus, and SN betaed up to Chapter 19 during the editing stage. Both of them bravely fought against my long winding sentences. Maybe I'll learn to fight them on my own someday. XD
A/N 2:
Editing the first chapters was very hard since there was a four-year hiatus between Chapter 10 and 11, which caused a distinctive change in style when I resumed writing. Ritz was immensely helpful at this stage. (Thanks again, SN!) Afterwards (after Chapter 19), when Ritz seemed exhausted and I felt bad for asking someone else to beta such a long story, I edited the rest on my own. I think it was a good decision since it sped up the editing process, and ending this project helps me to move on to my next WIPs (especially to Encounter in Venice, which is the other giant project I hope to finish in this lifetime xd).
Lately, I haven't been very talkative when it comes to my own fics since, even though I still love receiving reviews, I've lost the desire to explain myself. In the end, all the things I want to say are in the stories. I hope the readers who get through them can find something in them to enjoy.
A few hints since this story seems to puzzle a few readers:
Since Ritz once asked me in a review how the maths works when it comes to the ghost-stranger meetings: The maths does work out, but in a way which is different from what the original version of the ghost story proposes. ;)
Muphrid, who is a very attentive reader and also has some knowledge of poker, has guessed most of the plot except for the reason why "he" returned. I'll only say that, in this case, the Index of References might be helpful. :P
I seldom let other people's opinions influence my decisions, but sometimes reviews inspired me. For example Danny Longstride said in a review or PM about the ending that I can do whatever I want, but it shouldn't be the clichéd kissing-under-the-moonlight ending, whereupon I thought: Hey, this is ingenious! I can do this with a twist! It's a fairytale ending! XD
The plunny happened while I was writing the first version of Encounter in Venice. This fic was inspired by Ai's run of bad luck in the beginning of the DC series, Seiya's voice (this is an in-joke which only BSSM fans will understand), and the random observation that Seiya and Shinichi have the same initials and similar colour schemes although Seiya's colours are more intense while Shinichi's are brighter and softer. Three Lights' and Kakyuu's names are also too good not to be used for a utopia/dystopia discussion (Naoko Takeuchi is great at inventing names and puns for her universe!). To top it all, it's easy to link "Starry Night" to "One Truth" and to find a connection between Seiya's red rose, which alludes to the sun in Shintoism, and Apollo, the Greek god of truth and sunlight, which is why Seiya is the perfect choice for my version of Moriarty. I also used the opportunity to push the flashbacks I used in Encounter in Venice to the extreme and to play with tenses and the unreliable narrator.
I also think Shiho is so much more Sherlock-Holmes-like than Irene-Adler-like although you can see a bit of Irene Adler in her if you squint. Ai's cheekiness and quickness of speed when she is really motivated, also the slightly tomboyish edge to her otherwise feminine character, and the mix between kindness and ruthlessness do remind me of Irene Adler, but Ai's sardonic wit, moodiness, and solitary vein are more Holmes-like. Hence I've turned her into "Shiho Holmes" (or "Detective Ai" or "Sherry Holmes") for one case.
I didn't know (and I wasn't sure whether I really cared about) who Shiho would "end up with" while writing the story although I had different endings in my notes and kept rereading them to figure out the ending the fic should get—but I was curious about the readers' thoughts when it came to the pairing since it says a lot about which type of couple the readers prefer. There are readers who love Shiho with stranger-san and readers who prefer Shiho with Shinichi (I let the readers vote twice, in an open poll and in a blind poll: Shinichi got two more votes in the first poll while it was a draw in the second). I love both pairings since I think both couple dynamics work well in real life. In the end, I chose the ending I believed to be the most fitting for the character developments and the plot.
I started writing this fic long after writing the first draft of Encounter in Venice and took my characterizations from that universe since I wanted to see the same characters interact in a different situation. There were a few premises I wanted to use, and I was curious about how things would develop. The story should explore the limits of verbal communication and question fixed moral codes and accepted patterns of behaviour. Every layer and every new fragment of memory should change the ending and also the meaning of the fic so that the readers can reread it more than once. There would be a reversed Shinichi-Shiho dynamic in the middle of the story, which may or may not change at the end of the fic; a sort-of one-night stand with "the stranger" (I almost chickened out since I expected to lose all my readership after that chapter although I went through with it after working out the pros and cons for the plot); and Shiho's musings on all the things which played an important role in her life. I've been very sick sometimes, and I often wondered how one would live if one had a very limited time.
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Fic Inspirations for GaT:
"The Antidote" by SN1987a/Ritzen/Ritz: in which Shinichi fails to clear up a misunderstanding
"Fifty Pills" by teainapot (juneaddams): If you ignore the one pill Shiho initially made for herself and only take the twenty-five pills intended for Anokata&Co and add the respective twenty-five antidotes to them, you get fifty pills. Also, I have the vague feeling that the phrase "Scrooge of Beika" must have been coined by June over a decade ago although I'm not sure when I heard it first.
"No Strings Attached" by Hikari-chan/Chitsuki/Tsu: I'm not a Kaito-Ai shipper, but I warmed up to the idea of a fleeting Kaito-Ai romance after reading Tsu's fic (which should have ended differently *shakes fist at Tsu).
"Lover's Path" by Sky Samuelle: Initially, I didn't plan a funeral scene for Agasa. But after reading Sky Samuelle's lovely Shinichi-Ai one-shot (one of my all-time favourites), I just had to add one.
"With this Ring" by teainapot (juneaddams): The ending inspired me to write a story in which Shiho would keep Shinichi safe even if it means to sacrifice other people.
Literary References:
"A Scandal in Bohemia" by Arthur Conan Doyle: Watson to Holmes: "You would have been burned had you lived a few centuries ago." There is also a mini-reference to an adaptation (the Sherlock BBC series) when Shiho thinks that love is a "dangerous disadvantage" (which Sherlock Holmes said to Irene Adler in the BBC series)
A Study in Scarlett by Arthur Conan Doyle: the first Sherlock Holmes novel, parodied as a Study in Blue
William Maxwell quote from So Long, See You Tomorrow: "In talking about the past, we lie with every breath we draw."
Fernando Pessoa quote from The Book of Disquiet: "Nostalgia for what never was, the desire for what could have been…"
Plato's Symposium: the idea that Zeus has split the human being into two halves, which were condemned to spend their lives in search of each other; also the concept of platonic love, which transcends one's love for one person to a universal love for all which is beautiful
"Folly, thou conquerest, and I must yield!"… Friedrich Schiller quote from The Maid of Orleans: Stupidity as the true ruler of the world; Taiki's translation of the second part of the quote is slightly different from the official translations
A rose would "smell as sweet by a different name"… William Shakespeare quote from Romeo and Juliet: balcony scene; in this case, the name of the rose turns out to be significant; also: a Kudo Shinichi would be just as sweet by a different name? (Seiya's and Shinichi's names begin with the same initials and allude to the truth: one truth, or the truth written in the stars)…