Brock's POV

I wake up and don't really recognize the bedroom I'm lying in. Dammit, just when I thought I was under control!

I sure hope Cari isn't waiting for me by the pier. What day is it again? Oh, right, it's Thursday. I should be good then. Cari works at the market on Tuesday and Thursday mornings, so I have until 12:30 or so before I get to go meet her.

I sit up, feeling a little bit bad but mostly satisfied. Well, whatever happened last night, I was definitely sober, because the memories are fairly clear and I feel just fine.

Oh, right. Bow. Now I remember everything with a degree of clarity I don't usually have when waking up like this.

Well, looks like I'll be making a walk of shame. Not that I care too much. I'm pretty used to it by now.

Really, I don't mind attention. In fact, I love attention. I'm loud and proud and bold, and that's how I like it. Yeah, I'm that guy. Not everyone around knows my name, but they definitely know who I am. I'm just a loud jokester that likes to cause problems but tries to offer a smile and a helping hand to those who might need it. Laidback, easygoing, that basically describes me well enough.

Then again, I have a fair share of haters. They see me as obnoxious, arrogant, air-headed, annoying, dim-witted, and probably a lot of other nasty things I haven't heard from the grapevine. I really try not to care about them, though. All I need is my best friend and partner in crime, Caridad. Cari for short. And I've got her, at 12:30.

Until then, though, I guess I'm just going to have to make do with this.

I get up and collect my clothes. Bow rolls over but I don't think she's awake.

I get dressed and suddenly realize I have no idea how to get out of this house, let alone without being seen. I try to remember how she led me in and realize I was too busy looking at her ass to remember anything about her house.

"Leaving so soon?"

I look up. Bow sits awake and looks at me with her big teal eyes. I glance away from her at the clock.

"Soon!? It's already past 11!"

"You're just going to leave without having some brunch? Going to take the walk of shame?"

"Uh, I have to meet Cari at 12:30."

"Oh, won't you stay? Just for an hour or so…" She chooses that exact moment to get out of bed and start collecting her clothes.

My face burns with embarrassment at seeing the sight. "Uh, okay."

She puts a bra and underwear on and flicks my ear. "Why so flustered, eh Brock? It's nothing you haven't seen."

"Yeah, but…" Oh, I don't know why. Whether I've slept with someone once or a hundred times, I still get flustered when I'm aroused. Bow laughs and gets dressed in a low-cut top and some pants before taking my hand and guiding me to the kitchen.

Something smells really great here. Mmm….

See, you can easily get to my heart through my stomach or my pants. Or both. Yes, both is definitely good.

Bow leads me over to the table and sits me down, sitting across from me. Plates are served, which I get through fairly quickly (but slow enough to still be at least half polite).

"So, why do you always meet that girl by the pier?" Bow asks. "Doesn't she mind you… Doing this?" She leans over the table a little more to give me a view. I can't help it, I'm totally captivated by her. She's beautiful.

I miss my mouth with the fork and snap out of my trance, shaking it off. She giggles a bit but I ignore it, blushing despite myself.

"Who, Cari?" I actually have to laugh a little bit. "Absolutely not! We're just friends."

"Best friends? That's really it?"

"Yeah. I mean, we tried to date once but we just weren't feelin' it."

"Oh."

"Mhm." I stuff my face full.

"Interesting."

Suddenly a tall figure appears in the doorway. "Hey little sister!" Swallowing suddenly becomes a gargantuan task.

"Get out of here, Capstan!" Bow says, crossing her arms.

"Who's your little friend?" he asks, ruffling Bow's hair. She squeaks and scowls at him.

"Rutherford. Brock Rutherford," Bow says.

"Ah, I see. Well, Rutherford, Brock Rutherford, my sister here's a precious load of cargo and needs to be taken care of."

"Get out of our hair!" I don't think I want Bow anymore.

I finally manage to swallow the food in my mouth. "Of course, sir. She will be well taken care of."

A laugh bubbles out of his lips. "I like this one, Little Sister. He seems like an ass, but not your typical kind of ass."

"Get out of here already!" Bow protests. I'd much like him to hang around for a while. For some reason I can't make my eyes leave him.

"Cool your jets, Baby Sister. I'm just checking up on you."

"You're just a virgin that wants to get some," Bow sneers.

"I prefer… Waiting for the right time. Right time, right place, right person. But hey, that's just me. You do what you do."

"Quit mocking me already!"

I think he's just being genuine. I like it.

"Woah, I don't mean any harm. Alright, I'll get out of your way. I just wanted to meet the guy, that's all. And I like him. Keep him around a bit, why don't you?"

"Get out!"

"Alright, alright! Well, either way, it was nice meeting you, Rutherford, Brock Rutherford." He leaves and I call after him, "You too!" My voice cracks a little bit.

"I hate him," Bow groans. As much as I don't want to, I keep an eye on the door to see if he might come back. Just catch another glimpse of him, to remember what he looks like.

"I don't think he's all that bad."

Bow makes a face. "Sure. You say that now."

I glance at the clock. "Oh, I really should be going. Th-Thanks for brunch, though."

"Sure thing. We should do this again sometime."

"Call me up." I manage a typical Brock Rutherford smirk before I slip on my flip flops and run out the door, still kind of really flustered. In my stomach I have a pit of guilt for some reason. I don't exactly know what that was or what might be up with me, but whatever's happening is really messing with my head. All I know is that I kinda really want to go back to Bow's house, though not necessarily with Bow.

I check in at home, feeling really… Weird… Around my parents. I don't know exactly how to explain it to you, I just know that it felt really weird, like it was slightly harder to breathe (but only slightly) but trying to keep a light air. I grab my favorite hat and fishing rod. I know that if I spend some time fishing on the beach with Cari, my head will clear up and I'll be back to how I was before. Right?

I ruffle my little sister Adele's hair and start out the door. My parents tell me I still need to train this evening, and they're right. I'm 16 now, and the goal is to volunteer for the 73rd Games when I'm 18 and bigger and stronger.

I go out to the dock and wait for Cari to start so that we can be together as long as possible.

She appears right on time, wearing a modest tank top and shorts with flip flops and her long blonde hair pulled away from her face in a ponytail, put up in a ballcap. Of all the girls I've ever seen, Cari is the most naturally pretty. Maybe it's because she's my best friend, but she's not even gross when she's gross. If that makes any sense.

Anyways, I have trouble seeing Cari as anything but my bro. And we both prefer it that way. I was kind of afraid when we tried dating that things would get awkward, but neither of us let it become awkward. It's not complicated or emotional: we tried it and it wasn't really meant to be. And that's okay, perfect, in fact. I don't have to worry about telling her about my love life and she doesn't have to worry, either.

We sit out on the dock by the beach and fish and things are perfectly peaceful, as always. I've become attached to these times we share together. Sitting with my hook in the water, I can't help but dwell on what happened this morning. I'm so damn confused.

"Brock." Cari shatters the silence, and I look up.

"Hm?"

"Uh… Well…."

"You don't seem very yourself," I say, confused. What could possibly be so terrifying to tell me? We are best friends, after all. "What's the matter? C'mon, you can tell me." I poke her arm. She doesn't seem amused or comforted by it though, and I know that now is not the time to be annoying for a laugh. Whatever's got her going, it's serious stuff.

"It's just…" She takes a deep breath. "Brock, I know you come from a very conservative family. I know that you've been raised with certain… Views on things. Same views I've been raised with, really. I… I'm sorry I'm so anxious, but this… It isn't easy."

"C'mon, you can say whatever you've got. What makes you think I'd love you any less?"

"Sometimes we become parrots to our parent's words. But if you stop to think about them, there's no reason they're true. There comes a time when you have to start developing your own opinions on things and not just echoing your parents'. Even if they don't agree."

"What are you saying?"

"I'm just saying that I don't want you to freak out on me, and I want you to listen."

"Cari! Just tell me-"

"I'm bisexual!" she practically shouts. I freeze up. She wipes her eyes and sniffles, refusing to look at me. Her voice shakes when she speaks up. "There, okay? Are you happy now?"

There's a long pause, only broken by the distant sounds of the waves crashing on the shore.

"You're gonna hate me…. But what is that?"

She looks up at me, her teary green eyes glaring deep into my very soul. "Now's not the time to be a funny asshole," she says, sounding cold.

My heart breaks a little bit. I don't want her to think I'm trying to be funny at a time like this! I put a hand on her back gently. "Cari, I'm really sorry, but I really don't know. I know I joke a lot but I'm not joking. I wouldn't do that to you."

"You… You don't know?"

I shake my head, staring at the water. I feel pretty bad right now. But what else can you say? "No, I don't. I'm really sorry…."

She sniffles and dries her eyes. "It just means that, I might fall in love with someone that's not necessarily a boy. Maybe it will be a boy, but… It might not be. Maybe a girl. Or someone genderfluid or non-binary or-"

"What?" I regret asking as soon as I do. I blush and bury my face in my hands. "Sorry Cari. This is really important to you and I'm so ignorant…"

"Relax. We'll get there. We can't all know everything right off the bat."

"I'm sorry I'm not well-informed like you…"

"We'll get you there, Buddy. I promise."

There's a pause. I think about earlier today, that whole thing with the guy that I couldn't seem to look away from. He's attractive. As soon as I think it, I shoo the thought away. My parents would absolutely flip their shit if they knew their son was thinking thoughts like that. And I can't afford to be kicked out, I can't even do my own laundry!

Just keep the thoughts at bay, Brock. Maybe they'll go away.

"You okay?" Cari asks. "You seem pretty deflated."

"Yeah, I'm fine," I sigh. I don't know what's coming next but I have a feeling I'm not going to like it very much. We go back to our fishing.

"So… You'd be okay if I were to date another girl?" she asks quietly, laying her head on my shoulder. "Wouldn't hate me or anything?"

"Well, uh, I mean, I guess so… As long as you weren't all touchy feely cuddly in public, because nobody wants to see that."

"What makes it any worse than a straight couple doing the same stuff?" she shoots back.

I pause. Hm. I don't know. I guess there's not really a difference. In fact, it's gross no matter if it's a guy and a girl or two girls or two guys. I'm definitely a private kind of guy myself.

"You're right, I guess. I mean, I prefer not to watch displays of affection from any kind of couple."

"It's those kinds of thoughts that have been programmed into you. And me, too."

I sigh, feeling really insecure. Cari is my best bro, I can't do anything without her. She's the most important person I have and I can't lose her. But I'm just being an ass to her now. I would beat up guys that did these things to her.

"Cari, I'm really sorry… I just…" I don't have an excuse.

"Hey, it's okay. It's not your fault, Brock. This is what you've been hearing for 16 years, what's been programmed into your brain. But the new mindset you have, that you're building, that you're programming or reprogramming, that's what counts. It might be some time and effort, but I'll help you."

"You're too good to me, Cari."

"Thanks for making an effort. That's more than I'm going to get from anyone else." We finish off our fifth bucket and decide to call it quits. We lay back on the dock for a while, every once in a while brushing shoulders to know that the other is still there and awake.

I'm about to tell Cari about what happened with Capstan, but stop myself short. I'm too afraid. Besides, I should be pushing the thoughts away, remember? Just let them fade off. Be infatuated with Bow.

Get back to normal again.

I close my eyes and enjoy the breeze.

I just need to get back to normal again. That's all.

But something deep in my brain starts to wonder if that thought's been programmed into me, as well.