Cady smoothed her hair in the mirror by the door, running her hands gently through the loose curls. Her hair was naturally wavy, but Regina had mentioned how unflattering her flyaways were the other day, so she had tried to run a curling iron through to re-define the waves and make them more shiny and uniform. The thing was, she still wasn't too good with heat-styling her hair, and the result didn't look exactly like she wanted—there were weird tiny curls bouncing off the sides where she had tried to grab loose pieces of hair and force them into submission. Oh well; maybe Regina or Gretchen could help her next time.

She hadn't known what was appropriate to wear to a kickback—Gretchen had shot down every outfit pic Cady had texted her, finally allowing her to wear the same leggings she had worn earlier to study with Aaron and promising to bring her a shirt to borrow. Cady was waiting now for Regina to arrive with Gretchen—she was in an old sweatshirt, hovering by the door so as not to make Regina wait.

Regina's pink mustang pulled up twelve minutes late—before she'd even stopped the car, she honked the horn to signal Cady to come out. Cady yelled goodbye to her parents who were in the kitchen and shot out the door.

Her parents thought she was going to sleep over at Janis's, but Karen had promised her she could sleep there instead. Her parents didn't know much about Regina—Cady didn't think they'd like her very much. The idea of her stern, no-nonsense parents meeting the pink, porcelain plastics brought a grin to her face.

"Hey!" Cady smiled at Gretchen as she jumped into the back of the convertible, which still had the top down, despite the chilly Illinois autumn air.

"You should be waiting outside next time; can't you see we're late?" Regina scolded Cady while she pulled the mirror down above her seat and re-checked her lipstick. She was wearing a lot of make-up for something Cady had been told was supposed to be a relatively chill event. Cady only had on a thin coat of mascara with a little bit of blush—Regina liked to grab Cady's face and lament over how perfect her pores were, so Cady hadn't made a habit of wearing foundation yet. Looking at Gretchen and Regina though, she felt distinctly out of place; they both had on full faces of make-up, and both were wearing cute, over the top outfits. Cady looked distinctly out of place in her sweatshirt and leggings.

"Gretchen, did you bring the shirt?"

"Oh yeah!" Gretchen turned and reached into her massive leather purse at her feet in the passenger seat. After a moment of digging, she pulled out a bright pink shirt—it was so small, it barely looked like it would fit on Cady's arm, much less her torso. "It's a crop top! It'll look great on you," Gretchen dropped the shirt on Cady's lap and returned to primping herself in the mirror. Just as she was about to bring a mascara wand to her lashes, Regina slammed her mirror shut and put the car in drive, accelerating forward sharply.

"Ow!" Gretchen cried, scraping the mascara against her lid and leaving a massive black smudge.

"Oh," Regina said with boredom, looking at Gretchen out of the corner of her eye. "Sorry," she said with no remorse. Gretchen looked in the mirror, her eye watering with pain from the force of the blow.

"It's fine!" she squealed shrilly, the pitch of her voice making it clear that it wasn't fine. "I'll just, ya know, re-do it!"

"It didn't look very good anyways," Regina commented. "Your eye-liner wasn't even close to even. I did you a favor, really."

"Thanks, Regina," Gretchen clipped tightly. Cady couldn't help but roll her eyes in the back.

They arrived at Karen's after a few minutes of awkward silence. Regina seemed impermeable to the aura of anger and despair from Gretchen. When they pulled up, she checked her mirror one more time before getting out of the car.

"Are you coming?" she asked blandly, looking at the house.

"I'll just fix this and then be in," Gretchen was wiping furiously at her eye with a dry napkin.

"I've got to try this shirt on," Cady looked at Gretchen as she spoke, wanting to stay and make sure her friend was ok.

"Fine, I'll be inside." Regina left without another word.

"Here," Cady picked a water bottle up off the floor of the mustang, offering it to Gretchen. "You can use this to wet the napkin."

"I don't need your help!" Gretchen barked. Cady visibly recoiled, and Gretchen quickly deflated in front of her. "Sorry, I didn't mean to yell."

"It's fine. That was really uncool of Regina. Is your eye ok?"

"Oh it's fine! It wasn't Regina's fault!" Already Gretchen had re-gathered her façade. "We were late as it was, I shouldn't have used that time to do mascara." She took the water bottle from Cady and used it to wet the napkin, dabbing at the eye much more effectively.

"Sure," Cady replied. How did Gretchen put up with being treated like that? And why would Regina behave so cruelly?

"Are you going to try the shirt on?" Gretchen asked, getting the last smears of black removed from her eyelid. Cady eyed the pink shirt again.

"You know, I like the shirt I have on beneath my sweatshirt. I think I'll just wear that," Cady began pulling off the sweatshirt as she spoke. Gretchen eyed her doubtfully in the mirror, beginning to re-apply her copper-colored eye shadow.

"Sure, whatever you think Cady." She rubbed at her eye, which was red and inflamed, trying to mix the eye shadow properly. Cady watched her work, making a mirage of colors on her eyelid with different powders, then using an inky black eyeliner and tar-like mascara to complete the look. It looked awesome, even if the eye was kind of swollen.

"Are you ready?" Gretchen finally asked. As she spoke, a big SUV rolled up and parked on the street behind them, pumping loud music. A herd of boys in letter jackets spilled out of it, Aaron among them.

"Eyy Gretch!" One of them leered. "You ready to par-tay?"

"Gross, Kyle!" Gretchen played the game too easily, flipping her hair over her shoulder and smiling the perfect, exasperated smile at the boy. He walked up and opened her door for her, bowing as she emerged from the car and wobbled in her heels. Cady did a double-take when she saw them—they were supposed to wear heels? To a kick-back?

"Hey," Aaron smiled at Cady and she shook her doubt from her face.

"Hi!" she greeted him enthusiastically. All the other athletes and Gretchen walked ahead of them up to the door. When it opened, Cady heard more bass thumping inside.

"You ok?" Aaron asked. Cady realized she had frozen after getting out of the car, standing and watching the house.

"What? Oh, yeah. Sometimes it's all just a lot, ya know?" she smiled at him, trying to hide her insecurity. All her friends were perfectly done up and dressed cute and she was in leggings and chucks, barely wearing any make-up, her hair looking all haphazard. Her worries nagged at her—what if she looked like a total weirdo? What if people thought she didn't belong?

"It'll be fine. These things can be pretty fun. Come on inside—I'll get you a drink." Aaron smiled his signature perfect smile at her and Cady felt her inside melt a little bit.

"Ok!" she smiled, trying to replicate his picture-perfect grin. Together they walked into the house.

Inside, it was dark and hazy. Cady had never been to Karen's house before, but the lay-out looked remarkably like her own. The music was pumped through a speaker system she couldn't see, and a ton of people milled around inside, talking and creating a dull roar to accompany the rolling bass. How was this a kick-back? It seemed like a rave to Cady.

"I'll go find those drinks," Aaron smiled at her one last time and disappeared. Cady looked around, her stomach shrinking in on itself. Where were Regina and Gretchen? Where was Karen? She felt very lost in the sea of teenagers around her, of whom she recognized almost none.

"Cady!" a familiar shriek sounded. Cady turned and there Karen was—what was she wearing?

It was a pink number, a pair of shorts so short that half her butt hung out, perfect and bubble-shaped and without a stretch mark or inch of cellulite in sight. A tiny tank-top hugged her boobs, leaving her flat stomach with a perfect diamond belly button piercing exposed. She looked like she was freezing, and a pair of pink bunny slippers only confirmed that to Cady, completing the strange ensemble. She also had a full face of make-up on—Cady realized she was going to have to start wearing make-up like that everywhere if she wanted to fit in. Maybe Karen would teach her.

Before she could say hi, Karen pulled her into a tight hug, bouncing a little bit with excitement. "I'm so glad you came!" she squealed.

"Yeah, me too!" Cady replied absently, searching the crowd for Aaron. Where was he? He was supposed to bring her a drink…

"Let's go do shots!" Karen offered excitedly. Cady let her friend drag her through to the kitchen, where a pile of bottles sat on top of the table. She poured them two shots of Malibu and they quickly downed them together. Aaron wasn't in the kitchen—he must be searching for her in the rest of the house. Every time Cady tried to get away though, Karen grabbed her and pulled her back to down another shot. Cady's stomach swirled dangerously after the fourth—it was too much, too fast.

"I've gotta go," she murmured to Karen, ducking out to the hallway. Just like her house, the bathroom was down the hallway on the right. She ducked inside and stood in front of the mirror, watching her reflection swim in the glass in front of her. Before she could stop it, the door opened and Regina thrust into the tiny room.

"Oh, you're in here," she commented, edging in beside Cady in front of the mirror. Cady moved to the side reflexively, letting Regina have the middle of the counter. Regina checked her lipstick again, even though it was still perfect.

"You shouldn't bother trying to fix your hair," she said out of the corner of her mouth, scraping the edge of her lip with a fingernail. Cady hadn't even been touching her hair, just examining her reflection and trying to quell her nausea. "Honestly you should just put it up."

"Oh, ok," Cady mumbled, eying the curls. Were they really that bad? She pulled them behind her neck and twisted an elastic from her wrist around them a few times to hold them.

She opened the door behind Regina and fled the bathroom—it felt impossibly crowded in there, even with just the two of them. Out in the living room, she spotted Aaron standing next to the fireplace and chatting to a blonde girl on the cheer team that Cady only knew from the back to school pep assembly. Cady's stomach sank when she saw him—he was only holding one red solo cup, sipping out of it every few seconds. He hadn't gotten her the drink he promised. He had forgotten about her.

Well, maybe that was for the better—the room was spinning dangerously in front of her, and there were so many people between them, she kept getting confused trying to plan a route through to him.

"You really shouldn't stare like that; Regina might see you, and like I promised, I haven't told her that you think that Aaron is cute, but I can't promise she won't find out if you're looking that desperate."

Gretchen was suddenly beside Cady, talking at her side while typing furiously on her phone.

"Oh, I'm not—"

"You totally were." Gretchen looked up from her phone at Cady with pity. "Here, come with me. Let's get you a drink." Cady didn't even bother trying to protest, letting Gretchen grab her wrist and tug her away from her post.

The kitchen was just as crowded as the living room. Cady desperately wanted to find a corner and go stand there and look appealing and hope that Aaron would come find her, but Gretchen kept a firm hand on her arm, guiding her to the island. She poured her some mix of pink juice and the same Malibu she had done shots with—it sounded completely revolting, and the first saccharine sip only confirmed Cady's fears, but she gripped the cup tightly. It was a good distraction.

"Ooh! Bye!" Gretchen spotted somebody she wanted to talk to and disappeared off to the side. Cady took the opportunity and quickly walked over to the kitchen table, standing off to the side of it, out of the way of the door. Prime people-watching territory.

"Yo Africa!" Kevin G. walked up to Cady and held his hand up for a high-five. Cady went for it and missed, her pinky barely scraping his thumb. "Hitting up the booze table I see!" Kevin ribbed her good-naturedly. As he spoke, Cady searched through the door, desperately searching for Aaron in the living room beyond. She didn't know what would be worse—seeing him still talking to the blonde, or not seeing him at all, assuming he had gone off to some dark corner with her to do things that Cady didn't want to think about.

"So, have you thought about joining the math team yet?" Kevin asked. "Ms. Norbury said you got mad shquilz; you could be the first ever girl!"

"Not really, Kevin" Cady replied absently. "How did you get in here?" she asked. She hadn't meant it to be rude, but she realized after it came out that it did sound mean. This just wasn't what she pictured as Kevin's social scene.

"I got hella friends on the football team," Kevin clarified. "I help them pass math and they hook me up with sick party invites so I can get the ladies. It's a win-win, ya feel?" he elbowed Cady again good-naturedly, not shaken by her remark at all. He was so nice that way. "Speaking of which, I spy a prime candidate right that way. I'll spot ya later, kay Africa?" he disappeared without another word, leaving Cady alone.

She hadn't seen Aaron. She downed her drink, trying to drown the swirl of anxiety in her stomach. The sickly sweetness made her scrunch her nose. He probably avoided her because she wasn't dressed right for a kickback, and he was probably off with that blonde—he preferred blondes, didn't he? Regina and all that. Why did Cady think she even had a chance with him?

Suddenly he was there, right in her line of sight in the living room, talking to a group of guys. No blonde in sight. Cady sighed in relief but didn't approach. What would she say to a bunch of football players or jocks or whatever they were? She needed him alone.

But her hesitance caught her—another pretty blonde walked up to the group and greeted Aaron with a hand on his arm. His perfect bicep, under her delicately manicured fingernails. He turned to her and smiled and greeted her with a hug. Cady felt envy flame beneath her cheeks. But she couldn't blame him—they hadn't been together all night. Because he hadn't gotten her the drink he promised to. Why hadn't he? Was it because she was with the plastics?

"Take a picture, it will last longer," Regina was suddenly beside her, also gazing at Aaron and his friends.

"Oh! Regina, I was just, ya know, the guys here are all so cute," Cady's cheeks turned bright pink, and she immediately regretted wearing the blush that she knew made it even clearer.

"Right. So you weren't watching my Aaron?" Regina's eyes turned on her and Cady felt herself shrink under the Queen Bee glare Regina was known for.

"No! I would never!" Cady tried to appease her.

"Right. Of course," Regina said, making it clear she didn't believe her. "Come do shots with me." It wasn't a question. Regina didn't do questions; only commands.

The absolute last thing in the world Cady wanted to do was shots at that moment, but there was no way in the world she was going to say no to Regina. Not right after she had seen Cady pining over her ex-boyfriend.

A few shots later and the room was absolutely spinning. Cady walked through the house in search of Aaron, but all the faces seemed to blend together. Nobody was talking to her either—it was like she was some sort of ghost. Was she really that undesirable? She'd have to ask Karen to help her—helpful Karen, who seemed to make a profession out of always looking perfect. She would help Cady.

Cady spotted Aaron across the living room once more, this time talking to a group of girls. She had to get there and make sure he knew she was still around, ready to talk to him, make sure he knew she still existed. She walked through the room, leaving behind the walls she had been using to steady herself. Her toe caught the edge of the carpet and she tripped, arms spiraling spectacularly as she flung her solo cup—still half full of lemonade and vodka—across the room. She landed hard, her chin smashing into the floor and all the air knocked from her lungs. Ow.

A moment of breathless silence. Then people laughed. Cady stayed on the ground, assessing whether she could move or not through the pain of the impact. Gretchen and Karen were at her side immediately, helping her up.

"Just smile! It's funny!" Karen supported her elbow, helping her sit on the couch. "If I had a nickel for every time I fell over, I'd have, like, a lot of nickels," she giggled.

Cady tried to smile, but nausea was clawing at her throat. Aaron had looked when she had fallen, but then returned to his conversation. She didn't know what could be worse—that he ignored her, or that he came over and admitted he saw the embarrassing, drunken mistake she'd made.

This whole night had been a disaster—Cady felt tears climb in her throat, her bruised chin wobbling. She had to get out—they could see her fall, but they couldn't see her cry. She wouldn't do that. She stood, her knee smarting as she put her weight on it—she must have knocked it in the fall.

"Cady?" Gretchen asked, standing with her.

"I've gotta go," Cady mumbled.

"You're like, really drunk. Maybe you should just go upstairs and take a nap in Karen's room," Gretchen suggested, trying to help as Cady marched to the door.

"No," Cady replied thickly. She opened the front door and was out of the house in an instant, the cold night air a blessing after the muggy, alcohol-scented interior.

"Ok well, if you're sure," Gretchen said, pausing at the front door. She watched as Cady walked away nervously, then shrugged and closed the door behind her. Cady felt the betrayal for a moment, but then it passed. Of course, nobody cared about her enough to follow. Nobody cared at all. She really was just the weird new kid from Africa who nobody knew. A stranger and outcast, who needed to eat lunch by herself in the bathroom.

Wait—no. Janis. Cady looked down the street. She racked her mind, and then set out. Janis didn't live too far away, right? Janis would like her still. Janis was always there. Cady didn't have to be alone.