A/N: I do not own anything! This will be the last chapter on Lily and James' third year and I think I may skip the fourth and go straight to OWLs, Prefects and Snape's worst memory!

THE NEXT DAY

"I'm sorry, Lily. I didn't realise you'd be so upset. I thought you liked me."

"I do, Sev, I do. I just don't think I'm ready for that."

"But we are okay aren't we?" Sev asks.

"Yeah, we are."

Sev seems happier so I walk to where Mar and Alice are sitting for breakfast. The Marauders are nowhere to be seen.

"Hey, stranger," Mar says.

"What?"

"We didn't see you at the party last night. Molly said something about you coming home crying, are you okay?"

"I'm fine." I look between the two of them – neither seems very convinced.

"Alright. What happened then? I was too busy talking to Frank and Alice, why don't you tell Lil what you did last night?" I raise my eyebrows.

"Amos kissed me!" Alice giggles.

"Did he? Aw, that's so sweet!"

"It was perfect," Alice sighs dreamily.

"Go on, what happened at the party? Everybody's talking about something that happened at the party only we don't know what it is," Mar looks at me expectantly.

"Potter and Black gate-crashed and Severus –"

"Wait! Hold on, you went with Snivellus?" Mar's mouth drops open and I blush.

"His name is Severus and yes, I did."

"Lily!" Alice whines. "You could have gone with anyone in our year! Why Snivellus? Of all people! James would have gone with you."

I choke on my toast. "Potter?"

"Yes, James Potter. Is there anyone else around here who is incredibly gorgeous and single?" Alice says.

"Potter is an arrogant toerag and I would not be seen with him anywhere. Ever."

"I honestly don't know what's wrong with you," Mar moans. "Wait, are you a lesbian?"

"No, I'm not."

"So you're not asexual?" Alice adds.

"No,"

"Right, you must be mental then." Mar says simply.

"Anyway, as I was saying. Potter and Black gate-crashed the party then Potter and Severus had a fight and then I shouted in Sev's face –"

"Hold on, why did James and Snivelly have a fight?" Mar's eyebrows cross together in confusion.

"Um, well, Sev kissed me."

"You KISSED Severus Snape from Slytherin?!" Mar looks like she is about to faint.

"Not on purpose, I hope!" Alice grumbles.

"No! He kissed me, I told him off though because I don't want him to kiss me and well, it wasn't a nice kiss. But then again, what have I got to compare to?"

"Wait! That was your first kiss? That's even worse! I am going to kill Snivellus!"

"Severus," I correct automatically.

"Who's going to kill Snivellus?" Potter takes his usual seat next to me; unfortunately, I can't seem to get rid of him.

"I am," Mar and Alice say together.

"Not that you need a reason, but why?" Black sits next to Mar.

"Because he kissed Lily and she didn't want him to and she didn't like it." Mar explains.

"Hey, can you not tell everybody?" I scowl at them.

"Why not? He can't give you a bad first kiss, which you didn't permit him to do, and get away with it!" Mar says indignantly.

"It's only a kiss," I mumble.

"Wait, that was Evans' first kiss?" Potter stares at me like I'm an alien.

"It's none of your business, Potter," I mutter, my face turning red.

"How can you not have been kissed before?" Potter demands.

"I said; it's none of your business!"

"Urgh! Imagine Snivellus' saliva in Evans' mouth!" Black says disgustingly.

"Thanks for the lovely image," Remus says, pulling a face. "What's this about Lily being kissed?"

"Evans had her first kiss with Snivellus," Potter says bitterly.

"Poor girl," Remus grimaces.

"Severus is my friend –"

"You made up with him? I thought you were shouting in his face." Potter says.

"I was, but he's my friend."

"That is so typical of you, Lily!" Mar stands up. "You let Snivellus walk all over you and when you finally seem to get that he's a pathetic slimy toad, you forgive him! It's an unhealthy friendship, Lily and you'll only end up getting hurt. Snivellus is not a good guy, I mean, come on! Are you really naïve enough to believe that he doesn't join in with the Dark Magic Malfoy, Bellatrix and Crabbe get up to?"

"I know what he does! Okay? I know what he gets up to! I've confronted him about it –"

"Confronted him?" Mar laughs. "And what good will that do? Hmm? Merlin's beard, it's so obvious! I beg you Lily, don't be friends with him it's not good for you."

"I can handle this myself!"

"Are you sure Lily? As of late, you spend more time crying about him than you do laughing with him."

"So? This is life! It's not like I want you to go out with all those boys! You do that to yourself and you end up hurt."

"All those boys? Are you saying that I'm a slut?"

"No! Of course you're not, you're one of my best friends and I care about you –"

"So you understand, then? I care about you Lily; I wouldn't be a good friend if I didn't say all that stuff. It's my job to help you especially when it comes to two-faced idiots."

"I'm going back to Gryffindor Tower…" I run back to the common room, tears sliding down my face.

What if Marlene's right? What if Sev's not really my friend but what about all those times at Spinner's End? He was the only thing that kept me going when Tuney hated me; he was the only proof that the life I lead is real. I need Severus but what if he's my poison? What if being his friend will be the death of me?

FIVE HOURS LATER (NIGHT TIME)

I finish Potions on the bell, packing away my stuff quickly. I see the Marauders head out the door first, with a worried expression on all but Peter's face. I watch them curiously as they head for the third floor, around a corner and into a dark corridor. I run silently to keep up with them, peering at them from a good five meters away.

"I solemnly swear that I am up to no good," Remus says.

They all huddle around a piece of parchment.

"Goddammit! It still doesn't completely work!" I hear Potter say, clearly frustrated.

"Don't worry, Prongs. It will, I just need to work on several charms, it's not easy to do something like this," I hear Remus say.

"I can't wait until we finish it," Black says excitedly. "Just imagine it! Being able to know where everybody is and what they're doing."

"I don't know about that but we'll certainly be able to see where people are," Remus says doubtfully.

"I reckon we should liven it up a bit. The only reason we started this is because it's getting hard to get to then Shrieking Shack without one of Snivelly's mates following us. Maybe we could make it a bit more humorous?"

"Padfoot! I'm not an amazing wizard, you know. Magic has boundaries," Remus says though he chuckles a little.

"I know, but this is going to revolutionise pranksters and trickery. I can't wait to see old Filch's face when he never catches us and we've got your cloak James! We're never getting caught again!" Black almost jumps up and down with eagerness.

"Calm down Padfoot, it's only a map."

The Marauders go on like this for a while, casting spells on the parchment to try and get it to do whatever it is they want it to do. Potter seems to get frustrated and Remus is edgy.

"Guys, it's almost full moon," Remus says, agitated.

"Oh shit! Right, let's get the cloak and go to the Whomping Willow. Accio my invisibility cloak!"

"Are you an actual idiot, Prongs?" Black asks.

"Right. I'll run and get it, you head to the Whomping Willow- I'll meet you near the tunnel."

I am intrigued and follow Remus, Black and Peter stealthily. They don't seem to notice but I cannot be sure. Once we reach the tunnel, I hang back so Potter doesn't see me. I watch as Peter disappears, Black becomes a dog and Potter becomes a stag. Well, they almost manage it, it's hard to become an Animagi after all. In fact, I've been trying for a while but I can't. I wonder why Remus hasn't changed.

Actually, where is Remus? I look around for him but I can't see him. The other three shoot spells at the Whomping Willow, stagnating the branches as they slip under the tree. Cautiously, I follow them. The tunnel leads to the Shrieking Shack.

What are they doing out here? Could Sev be right? No, surely not, that would mean that Remus is a… werewolf? I hear a howl and the three almost-successful Animagi join him. I step backwards, it can't be. I feel as if I'm intruding on something personal, which I suppose, I am. Suddenly, I'm afraid my breathing is to loud. I scramble out of the tree as fast as I can, running to Gryffindor Tower.

As I get ready for bed, I smile a little. Now I know something, I was a rebel, I went out after dark and spied on the Marauders, often referred to as secretive. Somehow, I feel like I am a part of their group but not really. As if I would ever hex first years just for the hell of it. But, by being someone like that, maybe I can be braver and conquer my fears. Maybe Potter isn't so and after all… No, I must be so tired that I'm hallucinating and thinking things I should never – and will never- think.