When does the pain go away?
CH1
This story is rated "M" for good reason. It is filled with sex, sexual situations, sexual innuendo and adult topics along with violence and an occasional curse word(s).
This story is for adults only, remember I warned you about adult topics. Minor S&M is involved in this story for a time. Reader discretion is STRONGLY advised. I've read rather explicit sexual adventures between these two on this site before. I've tried to tone it down some, still you should keep the cold water handy and your mind open.
This is a Caskett story that you will see at the end, just that the road they and you the reader have to travel to get there is unlike what even they or you would have expected. It will be a long and difficult journey for both of them.
Remember you have been warned!
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Rick had his clothes back on and was happy, if that was really a word or even possible to be, now that he was out of that examination shirt, robe, gown, whatever it was called-it tied in the back and exposed his butt.
Now he was outside the examination room standing next to the specialist his doctor had sent him to. "I agree with your primary care physician. Here is your prescription for anti-depressants. Take only one tablet nightly before bed. I also want you to start taking a children's aspirin daily, it'll help to prevent heart attacks and whatever you do, don't take this prescription with alcohol." (What Rick isn't told is that his doctor has given him a placebo.)
"You told me you don't smoke, oh, and you can drink coffee. Just remember-no alcohol!" He ripped it off the pad and handed it to Rick. "Get it filled anywhere."
Rick soon found himself outside of the doctors building thinking about where to go next. It was too early to get a drink even for him. He let out a heavy sigh. "Nowhere to go and nothing to do," he moaned and started walking to his apartment.
He passed people and was passed by people all of whom weren't paying any attention to him. He was invisible and unwanted.
He was passing past a book store and decided to enter. Being in a book store was the one thing he still found enjoyable, or at least he did till now. "Patterson's latest book." Rick found himself standing in front of a giant column of them, stacked one on top of the other.
"Why am I not surprised." He hung his head and moved around it and walked further into the book store. Reading was the last thing he loved. If he could find a good book, he could lose himself in its world and escape into the world of the book.
"Connelly." He hung his head even lower. "I'm in the wrong section, definitely the wrong section." He blindly moved to another section. He knew his own books were likely in that same section, he just didn't want to see them anymore.
"Great now where am I? Ok, eenie, meenie, miney, moe." Rick touched a book and pulled it down. "Guilty Pleasures." He looked it over and read the inside cover.
"Anita Blake may be small and young, but vampires call her the Executioner. Anita is a necromancer and vampire hunter in a time when vampires are protected by law-as long as they don't get too nasty. Now someone's killing innocent vampires and Anita agrees-with a bit of vampiric arm-twisting-to help figure out who and why.
Trust is a luxury Anita can't afford when her allies aren't human. The city's most powerful vampire, Nikolaos, is 1,000 years old and looks like a 13-year-old girl."
"A vampire book, great." He wasn't sure his use of random chance had worked out in his favor this time. Rick was all set to put it back when he looked at the books around it. "Trash, trash, more trash." He touched each book.
Thinking that he should count his blessings, he bought the book and headed back out onto the street, not sure where he would go next or if there was anywhere to go to in the first place.
Rick was wandering around not really paying any attention to where he was going. Eventually he found himself outside of a small park. A tiny green space in the middle of an ocean of concrete and blacktop. He found a space to sit and look at the park.
It was nice and it was presently empty. There was some green grass and a few trees. Just the place to lay out a blanket and have a picnic. Rick shook his head to clear those thoughts. Doing things like that wasn't who he was anymore and he was never going to get those days back.
He thought about pulling out his book to read. This was as good a place to start it as any.
He was only a few pages in, meeting Anita and starting to learn about her and her life, when suddenly there was lots of noise. Rick stopped reading and looked that direction. What he found was a group of children. Maybe 9 or 10 of them all about 5 or 6 years old with two adult women that were yelling at them to be careful as the kids ran away from them and into the park.
They were soon separated into groups. The three boys went into the woods while the girls all went to the playground equipment that actually looked relatively new, since it all had bright paint on all of it.
He watched the girls running around having fun while the two adults split their time mingling amongst the girls while keeping tabs on the boys who eventually joined the girls and all but took over the play equipment.
Rick wanted to defend the girls' right to use the playground with them, not to be thrown out by three bullies. However one of the adults put a stop to it, causing the boys to leave the equipment completely and brood, or more likely to plot their retaliation against that adult.
They only stayed for about an hour and then left the same way they had come from. It was after they were gone that Rick looked down at his book that was still in his lap. It was closed and had water spots all over it.
It was only then that he realized that he had been crying all this time. He looked back out onto the playground and broke down and cried yet again. Out there was a life he used to have, a life that was gone and never to return again.
Rick finally pulled himself together and stood up to walk home, this time with purpose instead of just wandering around aimlessly.
He was sure he should eat, but by now he just wasn't interested so he passed by all of the restaurants, pizza places and submarine shops. Even the Chinese places didn't lure him inside.
He took the stairs since the elevator was down again. It was four floors of stairs and he trudged up them one step at a time, since he was in no hurry. The building itself was old, however a developer had renovated the entire inside, including new elevators.
Rick walked down to his door and unlocked both dead bolts and opened the door, closing and locking the three locks on the inside. He dropped his book off on the kitchen countertop and headed for his one bathroom to wash his hands and his face. He wanted to wash away the tears.
Standing in the bathroom in front of the sink and mirror he noticed his shirt was damp and likely had been all the way from the park. He sighed heavily and walked into his bedroom taking off his shirt as he went and threw it towards the bed. Only it didn't make it and fell to the floor to join two other shirts, one pair of pants and three pairs of socks.
Rick pulled a t-shirt out of a drawer and put it on. It was plain and said nothing on it. All of those t-shirts were long gone now. He wandered back out into his living room, sank into his sofa, and reached for the remote to turn on the TV.
There were just two things left over from his previous life, well maybe three. In this case the TV, which was now a giant 60-inch rear screen projection TV that was far too big for the room. He also still had his massive movie collection, not that he watched any of them anymore. It was just that he couldn't get himself to get rid of any of them, even if most of them were Disney movies.
Hell, one wall of his bedroom was filled from wall to wall and floor to ceiling with boxes. All filled with stuff that he couldn't bring himself to get rid of. He hadn't marked any of them as he had filled them, so he didn't know what was in each box, should he or anyone else simply pick one.
His living room had his sofa, one chair, and his new TV. The dining room set had been too big so it was gone and had been not replaced. In its place were boxes that held some of his cooking equipment that he had yet to use here. The mixer, pasta maker amongst other things. He didn't cook any longer, he had no reason to anymore.
There were no pictures on the wall anywhere. Even Leo the lion was long gone. His bookshelves had been built-in so they had to stay. Now he had a little, cheap, two shelf bookshelf that was filled with books. Rick also had books piled on top of still more books.
On top of one of the piles of books was his old laptop that sat there collecting dust. It was plugged in and the internet was available, however he couldn't access it yet since he hadn't set up his wireless router.
He turned on the TV and started flipping through channels. He may not have much, and this apartment might not be the best in the city, but it did have cable and Rick had subscribed to every channel that he was capable of getting. His cable bill was huge for the average person, but he did have the money for it. He just didn't spend it like he used to.
He ended up on the Food Channel which was what he was watching when he fell asleep.
When he woke up it was dark outside. The Food Channel was still on TV and watching it while waking up was making his empty stomach growl. Rick found the remote and turned off the TV and got up and went into the kitchen. Opening the refrigerator, he saw exactly what he was expecting, a big fat nothing! Well, except for some bottles of water, catsup and mustard and a few other things.
He had only cooked maybe once or twice since he moved here. It had been weeks since he had even tried to turn on the range. Hell, he hadn't even gone grocery shopping in weeks.
Rick made sure he had his keys and opened his wallet to see how much cash he had. He had a whopping $13 dollars and a little change. "Great. I need to find an ATM soon," he moaned as he opened the freezer and looked inside.
The only thing in it was ice in ice cube trays and a small block of ice. He didn't even have an automatic ice maker anymore. Still he stared into the freezer and debated about it. "NO!" Rick still had some self-control and he wasn't going to break his one and only remaining credit card out of its block of ice. Thirteen dollars was more than enough to buy some Chinese with. And maybe a couple of slices of pizza tomorrow before having to find an ATM.
It wasn't that his apartment was bad or anything, actually the place was brand new and he was the first one to live in this apartment. It's just that because it was so new it still had a few bugs to work out, like the elevators. It was just his good luck that he had selected an apartment on the fourth floor instead of higher, a lot higher.
The building had concierge service and a fitness center that he used frequently since he had a lot of spare time. In fact he was more fit now than he had ever been in the past, even in high school or college. It also had an indoor pool, residents' lounge, and garage, though he had sold all his cars. It also had a cold food storage room for deliveries, a landscaped roof deck that he hardly ever even set foot on. It had a BBQ area, cabanas to sit in while not trying to get a tan.
It was located in Brooklyn near the Academy of Music. It was only $2,950 a month which would allow him to live here almost free still even though his sales of the Derek Storm books were falling fast. His lease was ending soon and he was just betting that his rent would double when it did.
Rick knew of a Chinese place that was open almost all night long and decided their food would be good enough. It was a number of blocks away and would take him about 15 to 20 minutes to get there.
He ordered his food and drink and sat down to eat while looking out the windows. The place was simple, just a hole in the wall. The table wobbled which was no surprise, even his chair wobbled. The table didn't bother him but the chair was driving him up the wall. He finally grabbed a number of napkins and stuffed them under the offending leg of his chair.
Satisfied, he went back to eating. Except for himself there was only one other person in the restaurant - an elderly looking oriental man sitting up against the far wall nursing his meal. Rick preferred his food warm so he was eating faster than him.
Rick was interrupted when his cell phone started to vibrate. He didn't get too many phone calls anymore though having a new number that barely a handful of people knew may have been mostly to blame.
Looking at his latest iPhone caller ID, it said 'Gina.' "SHIT! How did she get this number? Damn it now I have to change my phone number again," he cursed softly and turned his phone off.
Gina hadn't even given him anytime at all before she started demanding the next chapters of what turned out to be his final Derek Storm book. He had dumped Black Pawn and Gina herself immediately after sending her the edited updates.
Rick had all his royalties go directly into a bank account that he only kept open to handle the profits from the book sales. From there he would transfer money into a different account at a different bank to handle his bills. Rent, cable, power, phone, water, renter's insurance. He stopped at an ATM whenever he decided to go shopping. He carried almost no cash anymore, just enough to take a taxi some short distance usually.
He got up and re-filled his soda and sat back down after throwing his trash away and watched the few people out on the street walk by. The old man didn't leave and no one else came in while Rick was there.
He wasn't tired since he had slept already even though it was just past midnight. Going to bed right after eating sounded like a bad idea so he decided he would use the exercise room in his building for the next four hours before going to bed.
Rick sighed, in another lifetime he would be out in a bar or a restaurant with a date perhaps. He shook his head to clear those thoughts; those days were gone and he was never going to get them back. He hung his head after drinking his cup dry again and re-filled it before walking outside.
Though it was after midnight, it was still almost blistering hot outside. Rick knew from his previous research that it was all the concrete and buildings that trapped the heat. Outside of the city the nights were considerably cooler.
It also wasn't a quiet night as he could hear sirens in the distance headed his general way since they were getting louder. That was another thing that the heat brought out in New York City. When it got hot and people didn't have enough air-conditioning either because they didn't have any in the first place, or because theirs had broken down, the crime rate went way up.
Winters were a lot calmer. In winter those same people would hunker down to try and keep warm. What they stole in summer was used to keep them warm in winter.
The sirens had stopped likely making it to where they wanted to go. Suddenly Rick found himself facing 3 young thugs. "Hey honkey, give us your wallet, NOW!" He wasn't smiling or actually doing anything, he looked like he did this all the time and he was bored.
"You picked the wrong guy, I've got something like $6 on me, go try someone else," Rick said, actually telling him the truth.
"A rich white guy with just $6? We believe him don't we boys?" he responded and it was now that Rick heard laughing behind him. Rick turned his head a little and saw two more guys close behind him. The two with the guy who liked to talk also started laughing.
Rick barely remembered being in a fight with them, not that he was fighting to protect his $6 he was fighting to protect what was left of his life. If he was going to die, it wasn't going to be like this.
He seemed to remember seeing a woman in the fight. As best he could recall, she was young, maybe early 30's, white with long brown hair dressed mostly all in black. Rick was lying on the sidewalk blinking his eyes open.
He started feeling himself since he was sure he saw blood just that it didn't seem to be his. Looking around he saw a little blood on the concrete in front and behind him. But he didn't see was the young black guy or the one white guy.
Finishing his search he did find that he still had his $6 and his wallet, shoes, clothes, and even his phone. Rick knew he didn't win, not against 5 young in shape kids who most likely mugged people for a living. "So what happened to them?" he mused.
Rick looked around and didn't see anyone around, no one who would have seen anything. It left him in the dark as to what happened.
He just sat there. "WHY?" He could feel the tears running down his face. "I JUST WANT TO KNOW WHY!" he yelled, pulled his knees into his chest, and buried his face in his legs. Why did he get to live after being mugged?
It was at least half an hour before Rick got up and trudged home, his anger building over everything that had happened in his life recently, so he took it out on the exercise equipment for the next four hours.
He was sweaty and finally tired by the time he made it up four flights of stairs with the note on both elevators apologizing for any inconvenience. He made it to his door and his leg muscles were burning. On his door he found a notice from the owner and maintenance people.
The two elevators were going to be out of service for at least another week while parts were shipped in from overseas from the manufacturer. The estimated repair time after they received the parts was going to be two days, hence the one week delay.
As compensation for the discomfort this caused they would reduce the next month's rent based on what floor you lived on. "Four whole dollars," he guessed as he dropped the notification in the hallway and went inside.
First up was a bottle of water out of the refrigerator that he almost drank down instantly. It was empty by the time he entered the shower to get clean before going to bed.
It was his same bed and same sheets and the softness of it had him asleep in no time. Still he woke up just before sunrise screaming from his nightmare. It was always the same. All he saw was body parts flying everywhere with no real reason for it. He never saw anyone or anything, just blood and body parts everywhere.
Rick sat in his bed trying to get his breathing under control as his nightmare faded. Eventually he ran both hands down his face. His nightmares had become a nightly occurrence. They had become a part of his life. The pain of the nightmares and the pain of that day went with the pain of his continued existence.
He took another shower and got dressed casually as usual and headed outside. He went to the closest ATM that he went to all the time and pulled out what he hoped would be enough money.
Next he took a taxi to the closest phone store. "Can I help you sir?" Rick was intercepted by a 20's something woman who had a company shirt on.
"I need to change my phone number again. People I don't want to have my number have discovered it again," he explained.
"If you'll follow me." She walked over to an empty counter that had a monitor. "Can you input your code to unlock it?" She handed his phone back to him and watched him input the code and he handed it back to her.
She ran her finger over various buttons and held his phone up for Rick to see the display. "Can you point out which numbers you don't want calling you?" she asked. He pointed out just the one number.
"Your plan allows for you to block up to 10 phone numbers, it looks like this will be your first number," she explained to Rick and worked with his phone. "There, that phone number is now blocked and will not ring or accept text messages again until you un-block it."
"Can you show me how to do that?" Rick asked since he was sure Gina would simply change phones and call him again, plus he was sure he would need to block Paula, too. Thankfully he hadn't told anyone where he had moved to so Gina or Paula weren't just going to show up at his front door, he hoped.
The associate showed him how to block calls after he received them. "You have nine more numbers to block; after that you would need pay a charge to change your phone number. It isn't much, only a small fee, but this way you don't have to tell anyone who you want to know your number what the new one is," she explained.
"Thank you." Rick meant it, too. It was the first good thing that had happened to him in what felt like a long time.
Just half an hour later... "He blocked my number!" Gina slammed the phone down. Her phone immediately began ringing. "Ms. Cowell, your 8:00 is here," she was informed. "Send her in," she replied and moments later in walked one Paula Haas. It was time for plan B.