Chapter Thirteen
I stand in the school's dojo, my arms straight apart with my eyes closed. I force myself to take one more deep breath, and then I cut loose.
I snap my eyes open, uncurling both of my closed fists as I do, and whispering power flows through my veins. An orb of violet light seems to drop from each hand, emitting soft hums of power. They fall halfway to the floor before I stop them, forcing them to hover with my will. I flick my hands closed and open two more times until I have six orbs suspended from my outstretched hands like puppets.
Then I begin to dance, moving in slow, arching motions as I coordinate the orbs with my mind. They hum loudly as they swing through the air, each on a separate path controlled by my thoughts. They move slowly, in synchronization with my body as their orbits shift with each of my movements, creating a mesmerizing show of light in the darkness of the evening light let in by the windows.
I see the shadows of myself dancing alongside the walls, disappearing into darkness only to reappear a second later. My skin tingles with goosebumps as a chill passes through me, and I let out a sigh, picking up my pace. The orbs swing wildly away from me for a moment, and then spin back in, closing around my body in tight turns and last second spirals.
I keep increasing my pace until I'm gasping for breath from the continuous dance and concentration of controlling the six orbs while dancing at the same time. I can see my breath as it comes out, and the air around the orbs is especially chilled, providing a frosting mist around me as I dance through the light.
Every step I take begins to leave a small area of frost, and my skin begins to tingle as small crystals of ice form. I don't feel the cold though, so I continue with my dance until my vision is blurred by the mist and ice on my eyelashes. I finish with one final flourish, ending with the orbs vanishing in bright flashes of violet light as I gently put my hands to the ground.
I let myself regain my breath, and then begin wiping away the ice from my skin and eyes while I wait for the mist to clear.
About twenty minutes. I was able to dance and hold six orbs made of sheer willpower for around twenty minutes this time. Now if only I could figure out why my magic sucks the heat out of everything around it, I'd be set.
I sigh, looking around the dojo one more time. Kyle was supposed to show up for a practice session, but it looks like he's not showing up considering it's been almost an hour now. Judging by the bruises he's had, he still hasn't been able to win even though it's been another two weeks of practicing the silencing magic. That could mean a few things, but I shouldn't jump to conclusions about him. He's a good person, and if he says he's losing because his opponent keeps using magic, then I believe him.
My eyes stop as I see the outline of a figure step from the shadows, and my breath catches for a second before I recognize him. Kyle steps over to me, clapping slowly as he takes wobbly steps forward. He has a black eye along with a bruise on his jaw, but he shows no signs of discomfort.
"Wow," He says, his voice slightly slurred. "That was cool. I didn't know you danced."
"Kyle?" I ask quietly, frowning at him. "Are you okay?"
"Oh yeah, great," he says, bobbing his head up and down. "I'm great. Well, except for the cold. I mean it's kind of chilly in here. What's up with that?"
"I'm not sure," I say slowly, as he stops in front of me. "My magic drains the heat from the surroundings for some reason."
"For real? That's weird," He says, his breath smelling of alcohol.
"Kyle, I've told you this before," I say, raising an eyebrow.
"Have you?" He asks, squinting at me. "Oh wait, yeah you have. Sorry, must have forgot. Anyways, sorry for being so late. Kind of. Just had a little detour to take care of."
"Have you been drinking?" I ask, frowning in concern.
"Yeah… a little bit," he admits. "I uh, lost again this morning. Hench the black eye."
"Why don't you just try using the spell?" I ask softly, grabbing one of his hands and squeezing gently. "I guarantee you're ready by now. Just try it. You don't have to go through all this pain."
He laughs, pulling his hand lightly away from mine and wobbles over to a wall. He leans against it, putting his head with a soft thump onto the wood.
"I did try," He says, his voice suddenly quiet. "And it didn't work. It didn't work two weeks ago, and it's not working now."
"What do you mean?" I ask, my throat catching suddenly.
"I mean, this whole time I told you I wasn't trying to beat him with the spell, I was," He chuckles. "And no matter what I did, he was still too fast. He made it through the spell somehow. I even read some of the books you suggested, but I still couldn't get it to work on him. Guess you're not the only one who knows a thing or two about magic, huh?"
I stare at him in the silence as he continues chuckling, and I clench my fists in frustration. Why did he lie to me about not using yet? Was he embarrassed because he thought he was doing something wrong? Or did he just think if he kept trying it would eventually work? Either way, I guess it doesn't matter. What matters, is that I have to help my friend, even if it means telling him the hard truth.
I've had it in the back of my mind for awhile now, that maybe Kyle wasn't losing because his opponent was using kinomancy, but because Kyle just wasn't good enough. I didn't want to believe it, I still don't really, but It's the only explanation that makes sense now. The silencing spell I've taught him basically blankets an entire area in a field that makes casting magic impossible, and there's no way to subvert the spell except by breaking it. So that only leaves my original thought.
But what's the right way to ask him? I don't want to come across as accusing, especially because if he is just losing because he's not good enough, then there's a really easy fix. I know he doesn't want Zane to train him how to fight, even if I can't exactly figure out why, but at this point, we're out of options. It's the only way.
Now I just have to convince him.
"Kyle," I say, taking a steadying breath. "It's not possible for him to subvert the spell without you knowing, not with how magic works."
"What do you mean?" He asks. "If it's not possible, then how did he do it?"
"Kyle," I say gently. "Is it at all possible that he's not beating you using magic?"
He looks at me from the wall, and then he starts laughing. I stand still, and eventually his laughter stops as he realizes I'm serious. He looks at me, pain flashing through his eyes.
"Don't you believe me?" Kyle asks, his voice breaking slightly. "All this time… all this training… I thought you believed me."
"I do, Kyle, I really do," I insist, walking over to him. "But it's just not possible."
He looks away from me, and I bite my lip softly. I want to reassure him, to reach out my hand and put it on his shoulder or even give him a hug, but something holds me back. Maybe, it's the alcohol, or the tones in his voice, but something makes me hesitate.
"So what?" he asks, grinding his teeth. "All of this was for nothing then? Just a waste of time? These past weeks I've been getting beat up because I'm just deluded? Is that what you're saying then? That I got nothing out of this?"
"No," I say, trying not to flinch at his biting words. "You got me. You got a friend, who's going to stick with you no matter what the truth is. I trust you, Kyle, and if you still believe that he's somehow breaking the spell, then I believe you. Just say the word."
I put a hand on his shoulder, and look him in the eyes when he turns to face me. I give him a reassuring nod, and he takes a shaky breath.
"Yes, Aria," he whispers. "He's subverting the spell. He has to be."
"Alright," I say, giving a nod and withdrawing my hand. "I believe you. We'll have to figure out another way then."
He smiles at me then, and wipes a few times at his eyes as he slowly slides his back down the wall until he sits against the floor. I sit down with him, and we stare at the wood floor together in the quiet, only interrupted by the sound of distant thunder. Soft pats start echoing as it begins to rain, and the dojo begins to darken even more.
Kyle's wrong. I know he is, but if he doesn't want to believe it, that's fine. It's not worth risking our friendship over such a trivial matter. Either way, the solutions are basically the same. The only thing I need to figure out now is how far I'm willing to go.
I told myself two weeks ago that if Kyle was still losing and I thought there was no other way, I'd teach him kinomancy. That was before this week though. Kyle's one of my few good friends, but that doesn't mean he doesn't have his flaws, and this week he's been increasingly impatient, angry, and careless. Normally, I'd be more than willing to overlook those things, but this is different.
If I were to teach Kyle kinomancy right now, I have no doubt that he'd end up hurting himself. One careless punch, a little misplaced mana, or even one angry thought would be all it would take for him to end up accidentally killing someone. He has the talent, the raw mana and ability, but he just doesn't have the control. A wizard unbound by rules and out of control is hands down one of the scariest and most dangerous things in this world.
So what do I do? Part of me wants to abandon reason and just teach him. Every time he walks in with a new bruise or makes a joke about himself losing, it feels like daggers are stabbing into me. I can help him, so why don't I just do it and forget the consequences? He's a good guy. He hasn't told anyone about my magic, and he even saved my life. How can I just sit by while he's suffering?
How can I possible consider myself to be his friend, no, to even be human if I just sit by and do nothing? It makes me no better than the Noxians who keep us down every single day, who beat and torture us, who… who killed my father.
My throat clenches up, and I look further away from Kyle.
Just who do I think I am?
"Aria," Kyle says, looking at me with big, watery eyes. "I know you said kinomancy was dangerous for you… but… but is there anyway we could just try? You don't even have to do it yourself. Just tell me what to do, and I'll take the risk."
"Kyle…" I choke out, trailing off as he grabs my hand with both of his, holding it pleadingly.
"Please," he whispers, bowing his head as tears begin to fall. "I know you don't want to see me get hurt. I know, but it's the only way. Please, let me take this risk."
My cheeks feel damp, and a weight has settled on my chest, making it hard to breathe. What do I do? I want to teach him so badly, but what if… what if… what if he loses control? What if he hurts someone, or worse himself? Could I ever forgive myself?
"Please trust me, Aria," Kyle says, looking up with his teary eyes. "Even if something did go wrong… I'd be fine. I'm strong, you know that. I can recover, and if something went wrong and I hurt them, well… don't they deserve it? For what they're doing to me? To everyone?"
A spike of agony drives through my heart as he finishes those words, and I close my eyes seconds too late. The image of Kyle battered and leaning against the wall while he clutches my hand in desperation stays painted in my mind. The worst part is his eyes. Beneath the sorrow, the pain, and the shame, I see something else, something darker, uglier. He wants power to hurt them like he's been hurt. He wants protection, but above that, he wants something more.
He wants vengeance.
"I'm sorry," I gasp out, squeezing my eyes shut as I grasp his hand tighter.
I feel his hand go limp in mine, and a sob wracks his body, soundless in the darkness of the dojo, and guilt explodes in my chest, taking my breath away. He wants revenge, and with feelings like that, he'll kill someone with his kinomancy. He may be suffering, but I can't turn him into a monster, even if he asks me to.
"If I could, I would, but I can't," I lie again, opening my eyes. "I'm sorry."
"I know," Kyle sighs, releasing my hand and wiping away his tears. "I know."
Nausea joins my guilt, and I look away from him. The warmth of my friend's grasp lingers on my hand, and I twitch my fingers a few times, wishing the feeling would stay. A second later, arms wrap around me as Kyle pulls me into a hug, and I hug him back, burying my face in his shoulder.
I'm such a terrible person for lying to Kyle, but I can't see my one and only Noxian friend become a monster by my hand. I can only imagine his face covered in equal parts horror and dismay as the lifeless body of his opponent falls to the ground. He thinks he wants power, but if I give it to him, he will regret it. This is my only option, and I hate myself for it.
For a while, we just stay like that, wrapped in each other's arms, sharing our grief. I wonder what Kyle would feel like if he knew my sadness was twofold, part because of his situation, and part because of my lie. With this one decision, one simple lie, I've kept myself safe, and betrayed my friend.
I wonder if he'd hate me if he found out the truth. Not that it matters, I can't see our friendship lasting much longer as he slowly becomes more and more bitter about being beat up. The worst part isn't that I can't do anything, it's that I'm not doing anything to save him by choice.
If only I had one other option, one more idea, one more plan, but no, this is the end.
Wait. This isn't the end. We do still have options. Maybe I can't help him, not directly, but that doesn't mean I can't still fix this. There's still a chance. I had the right idea before. Zane can help him, I know it. If Kyle trains with Zane, he'll become unbeatable. There's still hope.
"Kyle," I say slowly, pulling away from his embrace. "There's still one last option."
"Really?" he asks, his voice raw.
"What if I taught you how to beat someone who uses kinomancy without using magic?" I ask, biting my lip softly.
"What do you mean?" Kyle asks with a frown. "Like using a trick?"
"No, nothing like that," I assure him. "You know who Zane is, right?"
"Of course I do," Kyle says, frustratedly. "He's the guardian for the Ionians, but if you suggest I use him as my champion in a duel, then it's out of the question. That would only make things worse."
"I know," I say, slightly taken aback by his tone. "But what if I asked him to train you? He's the strongest person in this school and he knows how to counter kino-"
"Aria!" Kyle shouts, and I flinch away. "We went over this on the first day! I don't want training from your boyfriend on how to fight!"
"Why?" I shoot back, my cheeks hot at his sudden outburst.
"Because that's not how Noxus works!" he says, exasperated. "The only reason we can train together is because I can pass it off as you paying back a debt to me for saving your life, and you can't transfer debts except in special cases!"
"Why does that matter?" I ask shakily under his glare. "We'll just make sure no one can find out…"
"Gah!" he growls, standing up. "You just don't understand. You're not Noxian."
"Kyle, this isn't the time to be prideful" I blurt out, and I instantly regret my words.
Kyle slowly turns to me and looks down at me from where he stands, his eyes intense.
"Stop being prideful?" he asks, hands clenched.
"I get it," I say, trying to soothe him. "I get that it's embarrassing to be trained by Zane, but just try it. You'll be good friends, I know it."
"I will not be trained by your boyfriend!" Kyle shouts, teeth flashing. "The only thing I have left is pride! You can't give me the power I need, and there's no honor in being so weak! All I have left is pride!"
"Just trust me!" I plead with him, standing up too now. "It's not what you think! You won't lose any pride in this! No one will find out!"
"Do you have any idea, how terrible I'd feel?" Kyle yells, the his eyes bloodshot. "I'd just be using you to get your boyfriend's help! That would make me no better and certainly no less manipulative than the very people I hate!"
"You aren't manipulating me though!" I argue as my frustration starts building. "You never intended to manipulate me!"
"It doesn't matter what I intended to do!" he snaps back. "The only thing that matters is the outcome, and the outcome would be the same as if I blackmailed you with your debt to get your boyfriend's help!"
"Why do you keep calling him that?" I ask, exasperated. "He has a name."
"Does he though?" Kyle asks. "When you go to him, how do you think he's going to see you? As another Ionian asking for help? Do you really think that?"
"Yes!" I say, raising my voice. "Why wouldn't he?'
"Oh, alright then," Kyle says sarcastically. "So you're telling me any of your Ionian friends would help you train a Noxian on how to fight?"
"Well, no," I sputter, anger bubbling in my stomach. "But-"
"There you go!" Kyle shouts, interrupting me. "He's going to see his girlfriend asking for help, and what do you think he's going to say? No? That's obviously not even an option if he wants to keep you!"
I ground my teeth, slowly breathing in and out. I know that Kyle's being so brash with me because of the alcohol, but I don't know how much more I can take. His arguments are all based on a lie, and if he keeps pushing me like this.
"Look, I'm sure he's great and all," Kyle continues, ignoring my glare. "But let's just forget about him. Your boyfriend can't help you right now, no matter how great he is."
"He's not my boyfriend!" I blurt, my face hot and hands clenched into fists. "He's my brother!"
Everything goes silent as my words finish echoing through the dojo. Kyle's eyes go from angry, to confused, and then finally to hurt. He moves his mouth a few times, but no words come out, and I look away, crossing my arms over my chest.
Somewhere, deep inside my heart, I knew this moment was coming. The choice. If I want to help Kyle, then this is the only way to convince him. He's right that I don't understand why he won't accept Zane's help, but I know he will if he knows Zane's my brother. It's the right thing to do, and it's time he knew.
So why does it hurt so much? Why does it feel like I've just ripped my heart in half?
And why does Kyle look so distraught?
"What?" he finally rasps out, breathing raggedly.
That one word changes everything, and I suddenly understand. He says it in complete disbelief, like a child hearing something world shattering for the first time in their life. It carries that sense of innocence being destroyed as reality sinks in, the safety being torn away as they learn how cold the world really is. Hope hides in his tone, almost like he wants me to give him any reason at all to disbelief the truth, but I know I can't.
It sounds the exact same way it sounded when I said it to my mom on the day she finally told me Dad would never come home.
Kyle, who believed that Ionians were good and pure, that Noxians were the monsters, and that he was one of those monsters, asks me that one simple word, his brown eyes big and glassy, and something inside me cracks. By lying to him, I've betrayed him and destroyed the one truth that he thought was set in stone. The one thing he always relied on to be there. The one thing he could always return to.
That word. Anyone else would have missed it, been confused to his feelings, but I know exactly what he's feeling because I've been through the same thing. I believed the simple lie that my parents would always be there for me, that my dad would come back no matter what. He didn't. It's not his fault, but he didn't.
I just did the same exact thing to Kyle. I flipped his world upside down, and the worst part is, it is my fault. I'm the one who sold him the lie, that Ionians were good and kind, and we only wanted to help other people. I didn't mean to, but that doesn't matter. I'm sure the Noxians who took my father from me didn't mean to destroy a little girl's life, but they did. They were just following orders though. What's my excuse?
"It was the only way," I whisper, my voice failing me as tears begin forming. "The only way to keep me safe. If anyone found out that I was his sister… Kyle, you know what Noxians would do. They would use me to get to him. They would find a way, you have to know that."
"You lied to me?" Kyle spits back, his voice warping as tears form in his eyes. "This whole time, you've been lying to me?"
"It's not like that," I argue, the words weak even to me. "I just… I promised I wouldn't tell anyone and… look, I'm sorry alright? But it was the only way, I swear! So please, just forgive me, and let me help you! Nothing has changed!"
"Everything's changed!" Kyle screams, ugly yellow and red sparks forming around him as he loses control. "Don't you understand what you've done?"
"K-Kyle, I'm sorry," I stutter as his red and yellow aura continues to flare up, sending shadows dancing across the dojo. "I didn't mean to lie to you."
He stares at me, his eyes wild and unfocused. For a second I'm afraid he's about to lose control completely, and I call up some of my power as his aura continues to flare wildly. Then the second passes, his eyes flickering with something dark, and his aura just vanishes. I let out a slow breath, and release my power as he starts shaking his head.
"I don't believe you," he says, his voice quivering in anguish. "This whole time we've been training, you've had the solution, and you just hid it from me? How could you do this to me?"
I stare at him, biting my lip almost hard enough to draw blood. I don't know what to say to him. How am I supposed to deny something that I know to be the truth?
"This whole thing started because I saved your life, and you wanted to pay me back, right?" he asks, almost gasping out the words. "You were in debt to me, and you and I both know how debts work. You've shown me you know how Noxus's rules work, so you had to have known you could have gotten your brother to train me in your place, right? But instead, you've wasted weeks of my life, training me in useless magics that don't even work, and the whole time, I've been tortured day by day, hoping you had the solution. And now you're telling me you had it this whole time? That you were just lying to me because you didn't trust me?"
"N-no, It's not like that," I plead, my vision blurring "I thought we were friends… this wasn't a debt, it was just… one friend helping another."
"What does that matter?" He spits bitterly. "Either way, you knew you had a surefire way of helping me, and you ignored it. You let me suffer."
I open my mouth, but words fail to come out. My heart throbs, sending pulsating aches through my body as tears begin flowing down my face freely. That isn't what happened, is it? I always meant to help him. But what he says is… is… true? I could have told him. So why didn't I? Why didn't I help him earlier, when I knew could trust him? Why did I do this?
"For someone who wants me to trust them so much," Kyle spits out. "You certainly have a funny way of showing trust yourself."
I open my mouth to say something, anything really, but Kyle whips around and stalks out of the dojo, slamming open the doors as he leaves. He stops at the doorway, on the edge of the light rain, and he looks back at me. His eyes are glassy and sharp, and for a second I think he's going to say something. He turns away though, and heads into the rain.
I sink to my knees, my hands shaking and face wet with tears. It wasn't supposed to be like this. I never meant to hurt him. How was I supposed to know that we would be such good friends when we first met? I was just protecting myself… wasn't I?
No… it doesn't matter what my reasoning was for lying to him. It doesn't matter if someone has good intentions but ends up hurting people. What I did was wrong. I let my fear and weakness control me, and I ended up hurting Kyle. He deserves better than me.
A few tears fall onto the floor, and I watch them silently, my shoulders shaking. I was so ignorant, thinking I had everything all figured out, that no one would get hurt with my plan. I may be safe, but what does that matter if my heart is in tatters?
Kyle will never forgive me for what I've done, and I don't blame him. There's nothing I can do to make it up to him, nothing at all. I made him go through so much pain, and now, he has to continue to face the same torture every day, knowing what I've done.
But… what if I can still help him? He doesn't have to like me, but what if I go to him, and convince him to train with my brother? Is that even possible now? No, it doesn't matter. I have to try to convince him, to redeem myself for what I've done. I owe him that much, and I can help him, I know it.
I can show him that we aren't bad, and that I just made a mistake. I have to.
I take a steadying breath, and wipe away my tears. Now is not the time to be feeling sorry for myself. I need to catch up to Kyle before he gets back to his home. I stand up, and quickly run to the changing room, grabbing my pack and pulling it on. I've already lost enough time, so I don't bother changing out of my loose martial arts clothes. Instead, I just run out into the soft rain, and begin sprinting forward, pumping my arms and legs as fast as I can.
I feel the familiar rush of excitement and adrenaline soar through my body, making my steps lighter and my strides longer. Even in sandaled feet, my footing is firm and sure from all the times I've run through the city before. The cold droplets of rain landing my face and hair feel good, and I fly through the alleyways and streets, searching for my lost friend.
I know the general route to his house, but not its exact location. He's said a few times that the route to my home is actually close to the one he has to take anyway, so that narrows it down. If I assume that he lives in the nearest Noxian residential area, than I know what his exact path should be. So I run, ducking through alleyways and searching the faces of the people on the streets as I go.
I pass mostly homeless people in the alleyways. Three children splash in a puddle of water, laughing as a little girl falls into the mud and gets up again with a huge grin. Few people wander the streets, and most of the ones that do are hurrying to shelter before the rain picks up. I brush past them all, taking a sharp turn by a street vendor's mask display and the black cloaked customer in front of it, and plunge into an alleyway. It goes halfway to the other street before turning left, running behind the buildings on either street and then finally turning right again, finally leading to the other street.
I get to the left turn before I hear voices, and I stop myself short, sliding across the mud as I reach the corner. I clamp my hand over my mouth, trying to mask my gasping breaths the best I can, and when I'm sure I won't be heard, I take a cautious look around the corner.
Two figures stand in the alleyway, between the random wooden crates and trash. Kyle is bent over on the ground, an arm across his chest as he coughs in pain. The other figure stands over him, his foot placed on Kyle's side. He has military short hair, dark and plastered to his head. He is lean but muscular, and his blazer is open, hands in his pant's pockets as he stares at Kyle with a small frown.
A chill runs through my body. That's not just any Noxian, that's Evan, bodyguard and enforcer for Kor, one of the most powerful and influential students in my entire school. He was the one who Kor used to work in the shadows, putting other Noxian students in their place. As far as the rumors go, Evan has never lost a duel. Zane, Akira, and I have been dreading the day he finally decides to challenge an Ionian, but Kor has been keeping him from doing such a thing, probably because he wants to keep him as his secret weapon.
Evan lightly pushes Kyle into the mud with his foot, looking nonchalant with his hands still in his pockets. He tilts his head at Kyle as he rolls away and slowly gets up.
"Come on, Kyle," Evan says with a slight shrug. "How many times to we have to go through this before you finally learn? You can't beat me. Just acknowledge Kor as your leader, and this can stop."
My heart drops.
It all makes sense now.
This whole time, Kyle's been beaten up by Evan for refusing to bow to Kor. Kor has the backing of almost ninety percent of the nobles in the school, and my family and I have been worried about why he's so intent on securing the entire power base of the Noxian side of the school. Whatever he's planning, it requires unanimous backing, which is scary in itself.
But, for whatever reason, Kyle has been refusing to support Kor. Kyle's been stopping Kor's plan almost single handedly.
All this time, whether he knows it or not, he's been protecting me, my family, and my friends from Kor's master scheme, whatever it is, and Kyle's said nothing to me. I clench my fists, fingernails digging into my palms painfully. Of course he wouldn't. If he did tell me what he was doing, he probably thought I would feel more indebted to him, and he told me literally minutes ago that he didn't want to abuse our friendship, no matter the cost.
Kyle, the same person who I've casually lied to about my family and abilities, has been wordlessly taking pain and punishment meant for me and the rest of the Ionian students, and I've treated him like nothing.
"So, what do you say, Kyle?" Evan asks, standing completely still and relaxed. "Will you back Kor? Will this be the last time I beat you?"
Kyle looks at him, gasping for breath, and I can hear the defiance in his voice. "I know about Kor's plan, and I won't back it. It's dishonorable and disgusting, and the Ionians don't deserve it. They've done nothing to merit this."
"Don't be a fool," Evan says flatly. "They're as dirty as we are, they just don't let it show. It's called being corrupt. What we're doing is necessary and just. This is our land now, not theirs, and they need to pay for their rebelliousness."
"Your wrong," Kyle says, wiping his mouth on his sleeve and raising his fists. "I won't let you be dishonorable, whether you want to or not. It's not our way."
"Honor is not the primary concern of Noxus," Evan says emotionlessly. "Power is everything, honor is necessary, and pride is the reward. You know the code. Power beats honor every time."
"Not as long as I stand," Kyle sneers back. "I believe in an honorable Noxus. Nothing else matters without honor."
Evan tilts his head, like a dog hearing a sound for the first time. Then he lets out a little sigh, and steps towards Kyle, slightly hunched against the rain.
"I know you're part of the Old Guard thinking, but you have to realize that this is a new age," Evan states simply. "There's no place for your idealistic thinking in Noxus anymore."
"We'll see," Kyle says, and he runs towards Evan with a short shout, raising his fist.
I feel the hum of magic hit me like a wave, and it feels familiar in it's dark anger. It's Kyle, laying down a silencing field while simultaneously running towards Evan, ready to fight. Evan blinks at Kyle's field, standing up straight, and I see him let out a small breath from the corner of his mouth.
I feel a twinge of almost imperceptible energy condense around Evan as he dodges backwards from Kyle's hard punches, easily outpacing him. Horror fills me as I realize what he's done. He's condensed his aura into a shield around his body, something that only a trained mage can do. Even under a silencing field, a mage can still manipulate their aura, and even though it's incredibly difficult, it's possible to create a field around your body that blocks out hostile magic.
It's a high level stunt, something a new mage like Kyle would easily miss. Normally, condensing an aura like that is used to create basic shields against direct spells meant to cause physical harm, but doing it against a silencing field would still have close to the same effect, allowing Evan to continue casting spells like kinomancy without a second thought.
Which means, this whole time, Kyle's been telling me the truth about losing to a kinomancer, and I doubted him. I didn't trust him. A scream almost escapes my mouth as I realize what's going to happen next, but I cover my mouth with both hands, watching on in horror.
Kyle uses the momentum of a hard right punch to twist his body in a roundhouse kick, but Evan easily dodges underneath it. Then he blurs into motion, kicking Kyle in the stomach with his shin forcefully enough to physically throw him off his remaining foot. Kyle slams into the wall and barely rolls out of the way as Evan swings a foot down into the wall where Kyle's head just was. Cracks appear in the brick, and Kyle groggily gets to his feet, facing Evan.
Evan pulls his foot from the wall, and looks sideways at Kyle, who is breathing heavily, flecks of blood coming from each breath as sweat and rain drip down his face. Evan breathes silently, and his hands remain in his pockets, just like they have this whole time. He takes a step towards Kyle, and I realize now he's going to go on the offensive. Kyle's going to lose, and it's going to be bad.
I turn away and run away from the scene, dropping my pack behind some crates as I do, and exit the alley back onto the streets. I look frantically to my left at the vendor with the masks, and I see the cloaked customer walking away with a mask in hand. I run to the stall, quickly slamming down my coin purse I pulled from my pack, and grabbing the first mask I see, one identical to the other customer's.
I'm not going to let Kyle down again. If I interfere without a mask though, things would only get worse for everyone, especially considering what I'm going to do to protect my one and only Noxian friend who I owe so much to. I just have to hope he can last the few seconds it's taking me to get this mask.
I barely glance at the mask before I put it on. It's one of those white festival masks, the ones that cover the entire front of your face and head. It has diamond shaped teeth showing and big eyes, giving it the appearance of some unknown, hungry, malicious demon. It's perfect for the anger I feel towards both Evan and myself, and I pull it on without a second thought.
I round the alley corner just in time to see Evan flick his leg into a kick that ends in Kyle's stomach, and he flies back into an old wooden crate, breaking through it and landing in a heap of rubble. Evan looks at me questioningly, his eyes flicking over my white Ionian martial arts clothes and mask.
I stare at Evan, my heart beating in my throat as I force my eyes to stay on him and not on Kyle's still form. I gather my power and will, releasing them quickly as I put a simple spell on the mask.
"Walk away,' I say, the spell distorting my voice into something demonic.
"No," Evan says, tilting his head slightly. "This is a beatdown, covered under the Noxian laws. You have no right to interfere. Step back."
"I won't," I say quietly, my voice becoming even darker. "And if you think your petty magic tricks will save you, then you're wrong."
At that, he blinks, and triumph surges through me as I see him reassess the threat I pose. Not many mages are strong enough to detect someone condensing their aura if they aren't looking for that exact thing, so he has to be worried about just how strong I am. Not only that, but by using his aura, he's tipped his hand. Using magic in a duel or beatdown to enhance your capabilities is strictly prohibited, which means I've got him.
"Medium length black hair," he says, snapping my attention back to him. "Slightly feminine voice through the spell, and feminine form underneath the loose clothes. So you're an Ionian girl who goes to one of the three school in this vicinity, and you're very talented at magic. Your mask also suggests that you want to keep your identity secret. How interesting."
My heart starts racing faster in my chest, and the back of my throat feels like sandpaper. I swallow and force myself to stand utterly still, facing him head on.
"Sadly, your features are too vague beneath your 'costume' for me to narrow down the suspects," he says with a shrug. "Guess I'll just have to pull the mask off once I beat you to the ground."
"You won't do that," I say too quickly. "You'd have to challenge me to a duel to do that."
He looks around slowly, and then shrugs. "I don't see anyone around, and I can't think of anyone off the top of my head who would object to me beating a masked vigilante who threatened me."
My eyes widen beneath the mask, and I have all of half a second to register his form blurring towards me, his hands still pocketed as he throws a lightning fast kick.
I pull together every ounce of focus I can muster, forgetting the rain, my fear, and his rapidly closing form. I breathe in, steady and slow, and I grab as much power as I can muster. I feel it blaze into existence within my chest, and I direct it through my veins and bones. The power shoots out, and I make my muscles and skin absorb the power, drinking it in thirstily like desert sand in a rainstorm.
Evan doesn't seem to slow down so much as his speed just doesn't seem that fast to me anymore, and I jump, bending my knees and kicking off with all my power. I fly over him, and use my momentum to turn the jump in to a front flip, landing several feet behind him as his kick passes through the space I just occupied. I slowly let out my breath and look at him, my eyes blazing with energy.
Evan slowly lowers his still raised leg to the ground, looking at me with a bland expression. Then he blurs right, left, and right again as he zigzags towards me, launching a spinning jump kick at my head. His moves are quick and efficient, almost mechanical in nature, and if it weren't for my kinomancy, his kick would have hit me square in the jaw.
I duck, his leg whipping over my head, and the wind snaps my hair to my right from the sheer force of his kick. He uses the momentum of his right leg, jumping onto it as he twists his left side towards me, and the he launches a flurry of kicks with his left foot at me.
I don't back down. I slip past all his kicks, twisting my body left and right in lazy, graceful motions. I have time to see a flicker of surprise register on his face before I launch an attack of my own, slamming my palm into his nose as I step past him, and then pushing with all my strength.
The force my attack makes it look like I grabbed his face and physically threw him back into the far wall. He skids backwards, his back slamming into the brick. He stumbles forward, hunching down before he springs forward, finally pulling his left hand from his pocket as he stabs it forward at my stomach. His hand is flat and outstretched like he means to plunge it into my gut.
I twist my body sideways, and he missed my body by a hair's breadth. His lunge overextended him, and his body is stretched out in front of me as he passes, so I raise my left knee into his gut, hitting him with enough force to completely stop him and lift him up into the air a few inches. Then I grab his shirt with both hands before he falls down, and I heave, throwing him face first down the alley. He skids across the mud, coming to a rolling stop a dozen feet away.
He slowly gets up, looking at me warily. Blood drips from the side of his mouth and nose, but not a lot. He must have softened some of my blows with kinomancy, because none of my attacks were half-hearted. They were all blows meant to incapacitate him, even break bones if necessary, and he survived them all with minimal damage.
Maybe I should show him what happens when you mess with my friends. I've fought Noxus with kid gloves long enough, relying on my brothers to take care of the dirty work. Maybe it's time to take it in my own hands. My attacks weren't half-hearted, but they certainly weren't my strongest either. I'd like to see him stop even one of my one hundred percent attacks. Heh. I'd like to see him just survive one of them. Maybe I should see just how sturdy this Noxian is.
I blink as the rain starts pouring down in buckets, the cold water splashing onto me and snapping me from my thoughts. Come on, why now of all times? My sickness is flaring up again. Using so much magic tends to make that happen, but I can't afford to have it happen now. Not in the middle of this fight. I'll have to finish this quickly, before it gets to the point of me needing to take my medicine.
I take a determined step forward towards Evan, now slightly obscured by the pouring rain, but, to my surprise, he take a step back. Then another. And another. Slowly, he disappears into the shadows of the dark alleyway, the rain covering his form. It takes me a while to notice why he seems so hesitant. Frost has formed on my clothes and the alleyway, and frozen, icy mud marks each of my footsteps. White mist rises from the warm walsl, slowly fogging up the alley.
He doesn't understand my magic drawing the heat from the surrounding, and it worries him. He isn't willing to fight something he doesn't understand, no, he's too smart for that. He must think I'm using a special form of kinomancy, something he isn't prepared for.
He's nervous.
"We'll call this a draw," He says, his voice still flat. "But this isn't over, girl. Noxus doesn't forget. You hurt our pride, and you'll face the consequences some day. Remember that."
Then his form completely disappears as he takes the right turn, leaving the alley to me and Kyle. I slowly let go of the kinomancy spell, letting the energy slowly flow back into my blood and dissipate as triumph surges through me. The frost fades with my power, leaving me feeling slightly tired, but I barely notice it beneath the excitement. I did it. I won against Evan, the enforcer of the most powerful Noxian in my school, and I did it without him even learning who I was. I won.
I turn, smiling beneath my mask, and I flinch in surprise as I see Kyle standing right behind me. His hand blurs into motion, ripping the mask from my face. I stare at him in confusion and surprise as he looks at my face, breathing heavily. Anger floods into his eyes, and his body tenses up, his teeth clenched in an open snarl.
"Wha-" I begin to ask, but then I stop as I realize why he's so angry.
I just beat Evan in a fight, someone who Kyle couldn't even beat. A frail, fifteen year old Ionian girl beat his arch nemesis. His friend, who said that kinomancy was too dangerous for her to practice, just used it to win against a unfeeling monster. His friend, who he just walked away from for betraying his trust, just betrayed him again. His friend, who wanted more than anything else to learn to not be a monster from someone he thought was different with every fiber of his being, just proved how wrong he was.
And now he knows I lied to him again about me being able to teach him the one thing he needed to win.
If there was any ever doubt, and small inkling of hope he might of had in me and my intentions, I just destroyed it. I may have fought off Evan, but at what cost? I can only imagine what he thinks of me now…
No, that's not right. Whatever he thinks about me now, he must think about all Ionians. Of all the people he thought were peaceful, kind, and understanding, he trusted me to be the best of them all. How could he not think we're all like this after what I've done?
"Yeah," He whispers, clenching the mask hard with his hand. "I see the truth now."
He spins, walking a few steps away from me, breathing heavy as he runs a hand through his rain and mud soaked hair. He looks wild, like an animal with a thorn in it's paw, and I'm the one to blame. It's my fault. Again.
"Just let me explain," I whisper, my voice hoarse.
"EXPLAIN WHAT?" Kyle screams, flinging out his arms in a questioning gesture. "How you've been lying to me this whole time? How you're a hypocrite for saying you trust me when you've actually told me nothing but lies this whole time?"
"It's not like that," I choke out, reaching out towards him. "Just let me tell you the truth."
"The truth?" Kyle laughs, stepping back from my reach. "Oh, you've shown me the truth alright. Man, I was such a fool, thinking honor was important. This whole time, thinking I was doing the right thing, working with the only other people who valued honor and not power. Well jokes on me, right? Because it turns out, I was just being used. Manipulated"
"I wasn't trying to manipulate you!" I plead with him, my hands and legs shaking.
"Oh?" He laughs again. "And that makes it better? You didn't mean to use me, you just did it subconsciously. So deceit is just in your nature then? Is that what you're telling me? Didn't you listen to what I said before? It doesn't matter whether someone meant to do something or not, all that matters is the outcome!"
Hot spikes of agony impale my heart, and I clutch at my hands together in front of my chest as hard as I can, tears and rain blurring my eyes. This can't be happening. I just wanted to help him. This isn't who I am… this isn't who I want to be…
"So, this must be your final lesson then, huh, sensei?" He asks, words dripping with scorn. "That Evan and Kor were right all along. That you're no better than us after all. That you Ionians are just as bad as we ever could be."
"We're not like that!" I all but scream, shuddering underneath his words.
"No, you're not," Kyle agrees, sneering at me. "You're worse. I should have seen it when you used Noxian tactics earlier, with Fairfax and the guards, but I trusted you! I was too ignorant to think you would possibly use Noxian tactics on me. You're a monster, Aria, but you can't hide behind your mask anymore."
Something snaps in me at that, and the pain just disappears, replaced with an aching numbness. I blink, and suddenly I'm on my knees, my legs too weak to keep me standing. I don't even have the strength to argue with him anymore, to even look up at him. I just watch the rain soak into the ground, my head bowed.
"I just wanted to fix your problems," I whisper, the words almost lost in the rain.
"Well maybe you should have looked into a mirror," Kyle says, his voice far away. "Because you're more broken than I've ever been."
A laugh bubbles up in my throat as I realize he's probably right, but it turns into a moan as leaves my throat. I start to sob, looking up at the dark sky as my body shakes with the heavy tears. I don't remember the last time I cried so hard, and I don't care. I don't care about anything, not the mud staining my clothes, not who hears me, and not the pain buried in my heart.
I just cry until I feel numb, until I'm gasping for breath, and I lower my gaze back to the alley.
Kyle still stands at the end, watching me. I look up to his eyes, almost hopefully. Hope shatters when I see them though, draining the last of my energy. There's no remorse in his eyes, no empathy. They just look cold and hard.
They just look Noxian.
I wonder if he'll ever trust anyone ever again, or if he'll always just be cold and angry from now on.
That's all he has left now probably.
And it's all my fault.
"We're done," Kyle says when he catches my gaze, his voice emotionless. "There's nothing between us now. We're not master and apprentice, we're not allies, and we're certainly not friends."
"I don't believe that," I whisper, surprising even myself. "I've made mistakes, but there has to be something still there. This can't have been for nothing."
He steps toward me, crouching down to my level.
"You're right," he says coldly. "There is something still there, something that's been there since I arrived in this forsaken land. Now I can finally put a name to it, all thanks to you."
I swallow as he stares me in the eyes, and I look away, not daring to speak.
"It's called war," Kyle states. "And now I know who my true enemies are."
Then he stands up, and walks away, leaving me in the alley, cold and alone.
I failed him. I lied to him. I hurt him. I used him to make myself feel better, like I wasn't useless. I realize that now. Helping him had never been about him, it had just been my way of making myself feel better about being so worthless, watching as others bore the pain that I couldn't. Kyle was right about everything.
Maybe I am a monster.
I slam my fist in the ground screaming with all my frustration and anger. My fist hits the ground, and the mud around it freezes into a crater of ice, the shards reaching out in spiraling spikes. The ice slowly reaches further and further out, and I force myself to get my breathing back under control, closing my eyes.
Breathe. Just… breathe.
By the time I open my eyes again, the ice has melted in the relatively warm rain. I shiver at it's frostiness though, pulling my arms around myself in a hug. I slowly stand up, walking back towards my backpack.
What started out as me trying to help someone, turned into me making him see me as a monster who cared for nothing but themselves. I tortured him and forever changed his viewpoint of Ionians.
And now I have to learn to live with what I did. To live with the pain. To live with the numbness. To live with myself.
I broke someone's faith in me. I betrayed a friend. I hurt someone who had the same circumstances I cursed daily.
And I did it all because it was more convenient for me.
I don't know a lot of things. I don't know why my magic sucks the heat out of everything around it. I don't know what Ionia was like before Noxus invaded. I don't know what my father was like, or what it would feel like to be held in his arms, to hear his laugh. I don't know what it's like to not live every second in fear, worried about a thousand things.
But I'm pretty sure I know what a monster looks like now, because the next time I look in a mirror, that's all I'm going to see.
"Your origin starts here." A voice echoes, as loud as thunder and dark as the night.
I wake up screaming. I quickly force myself to choke it down, and it turns into a moan as I double over in my bed, looking to my clock as I start sobbing. It's ten at night. So much for just a nice little nap.
My skin feels like it's on fire, and I feel anger start to come over me as the memories of my grief fade. Why? Why am I remembering all of these things? Why can't the past stay in the past? Why can't I ever figure out why I feel like something in my dream memory didn't actually happen the way I'm remembering it?
I scream, grabbing my head and trying to push everything away. I don't want to remember. I don't want to. Why?
I jump off my bed, stumbling over to my desk in my dazed state. Everything looks too sharp and bright, and it hurts my head. Even my thoughts seem too loud, too powerful, but everything seems far away, almost like this is a dream.
My eyes go over the vials on my desk, and I snap back to them. Right. My sickness. These are symptoms. I need to drink the medicine.
I stumble forward, falling to the floor. I crawl on my hands and knees then, grabbing blindly for one of them. I finally get one, and I quickly pull the cap from it and drink, the magically cooled liquid washing down my throat slowly. The effects are almost immediate, and my senses return to normal. My thoughts go from a roar to a gentle hum as I give it a few more seconds, and I curl up into a ball against the wall while I wait, letting the healing warmth flow through me.
Soon, everything is silent. Everything but my heart. It pounds in the aftermath of the the dream and thoughts, each pulse splashing fresh waves of pain into the reopened cuts. I try to calm myself down, to slow my quiet, stuttering gasps of breath or to stop the silent tears streaming down my face, but I fail.
Just like I failed Kyle.
I shout, throwing the empty medicine vial against the wall. It shatters, and the magic etched into the glass throws off blue sparks at the same time. Glass flies into the darkness of my room, and the spark's cold light slowly fades to nothingness.
Before the light fades completely, I see something white slipped underneath my door. I slowly get up, and pick up the piece of paper, unfolding it.
Meet tonight. Important things to discuss.
I throw the piece of paper onto my desk and walk steadily to my closet, changing out of my normal uniform and into my workout one. I'm tired of crying. I've paid for my mistakes, and the past can just stay there as far as I'm concerned. I've got more important things to worry about right now, especially if Fairfax has something important to discuss.
I grab my sword, and then I hurry out of my room, my feet almost completely silent on the stone floors as I run towards the only ally I have left. I hope the darkness covers my bloodshot eyes. Questions are the last thing I need right now.
What I need is help. Tomorrow, I'm facing two duels assuming we stick to the previous schedule. I only have two points left, and if the Nobles play it right, they can win. I'm sure they've realized that by now too. I don't have a plan either. For that matter, I don't know if I could make a plan right now, not in this state.
Whatever Fairfax has to say, it better be helpful, because this academy is the edge, paradise on one side and the abyss on the other. It always has been, but the difference is, now I'm about to fall off, and I'm not going to land in the side with the green meadows.
And for some reason, I get the distinct feeling there's more than a few people willing to give me a little shove.