Hooray for warnings/info before the chapter (the last time I had to do this was when Tarren was raped, so...) but in this chapter the c word is used. And yes, it's a really awful word and I don't use or enjoy the word at all. It's a really distasteful word. But when I write as the characters, their thought process/dialogue intuitively comes into my head and one of the tributes happens to be unpleasant enough to use that word - guess who!

... I swear my stories gradually get less and less t-worthy. But I'm still keeping it as a T anyway, because I believe young people are intelligent enough to read about death, swear words and sex without becoming murderers, compulsive swearers, prostitutes, drug addicts, rapists etc.

And I don't have any moral qualms with sex anyway. It's natural, people.

/end rant/warning

We both know what memories can bring
They bring diamonds and rust

- Joan Baez

Magnus Carmine, District 5, 17:

I always woke up earlier than everyone else. When you had grown up in a prison all of your life, it was kind of difficult to sleep, so you learnt to function on few hours of the sleep you usually desperately needed. Rayann and Contessa were up at sensible hours, and they often had to drag a grouchy Leda out of bed kicking and screaming in order to make sure that she made it to training on time. But before then I lay on the couch as the morn slowly invaded the skies, eating popcorn out of a bowl and watching mindless movies and television while the Avoxes scuttled around and did their morning rounds, ensuring the place was pristine and a hearty breakfast was laid out for everyone.

The news today was pretty grim. And it also explained the conundrum that had happened in training yesterday.

"Breaking news just in," a seaweed haired news reported glanced at the screen seriously. "It was recently discovered that the bombings of District Twelve had occured due to a military air strike by District Thirteen, a District which had only recently been discovered as existing. District Thirteen had declared war on the Capitol last year, though the war was mostly cold and uneventful, however, this has sparked the beginning of a serious military conflict. District Twelve's Seam is reported to have taken heavy damage, with one hundred corpses found and five hundred people reporting injuries. Speaking about the incident today, President Nystalgia has-"

The television suddenly turned off and Rayann stood on the small set of stairs that led into the sitting room, only wearing a nightgown. It was strange to think that Rayann was a victor who was younger than me despite winning all those years ago. Her face was more innocent, her figure much more small. However, if I had to give any credit to her, it was her wisdom and maturity which was ten times higher than many middle aged people I knew.

"You don't want to watch that," Rayann said, striding over to the couch and sitting on it. "Kinda depressing. I like good news."

"If there was good news, we wouldn't sit in and listen to the news, we'd be outside having street parties," I grumbled cynically.

Rayann glanced at me once. There was an affirmative edge to her glance, and I knew she wanted to agree with me. Somebody who had lived her life probably knew that good news was rare when you lived in Panem. But maybe denial was her way of coping, maybe living a lie every day helped her deal with all the damage that was hurled at her.

"I guess so," Rayann smiled. "Maybe one day..." She paused and then moved to sit beside me. "I'm pretty sure you knew what happened, so I have to tell you and Leda what is going to happen next. District Thirteen were recently revealed to be a thing, they had rebuilt their community after the revolution two hundred or so years ago, which you know because you know about the war." Everyone knew about the war; our short food supply had somehow managed to shrink even more, and death rates rose as the Capitol used all of our supplies to fund this war which had - up until now - seemed extremely uneventful. Invisible, even. The funds were cut so much many prisoners had resorted to killing the rats in their cells for food.

"And they bombed District Twelve," I affirmed. "Now with the starvation, we get people being blown to smithereens. Hurrah!" I lifted my hands up sarcastically and grinned. "I mean, they kill twenty-three kids a year anyway, now we can have thousands of people killed by the wraith of bombs!"

Rayann frowned. "Maybe this war is neces-"

"Necessary?" I laughed sardonically, shocking Rayann a little. "Seriously, necessary? That's ironic. We're getting killed by those in District Thirteen for being allies of the Capitol even though they starve us, kill us for not following their line of thought, send our kids out to die, and we're supposed to side with the Capitol and die for them in this war?" I sighed, but it quickly followed with a dark laughter. "And we're pathetic enough to stand it."

"Magnus..." Rayann tried to scold me.

"Don't call me that!" I snapped, grabbing her arm and attempting to launch her off the couch. I almost forgot I was dealing with a Hunger Games victor, and by digging her feet hard into the carpet she had prevented herself from being flung away so helplessly. Suddenly a feeling of utter despair took over me and I slumped back, releasing my grip as sweat rained down my face from the clouds of my hairlines. Breathing seemed a lot more difficult and I knew I needed my medication.

"Magnus?" Rayann repeated with a concerned edge. Anybody else would be pissed, but I knew that with Rayann she knew something was wrong. "Is there something up? Something I can do?"

"N-No..." I exhaled. "I think we need to talk."

Rayann paused. "Yeah, we'll talk after training. I'll see you at breakfast."

I nodded and clenched my knuckles, noting a stark whiteness had crept along my skin. Rayann cautiously stood up and walked away, probably desperate to leave me after I had physically assaulted her. To my dismay, the past flashed before my eyes as hallucinations that I shouldn't have seen began to dance around my peripheral vision. My medication was in my bedroom... I just had to reach it...

"So wait, District Twelve was bombed by District Thirteen?" Leda asked incredulously as she spread marmalade over her toast.

"Exactly," Contessa replied, bored. Matters of war didn't really mean much to her, and my escort couldn't care less if around a hundred innocent people had perished in a fiery demise. If Leda had mentioned dresses or something, maybe Contessa (who was slightly hungover) would care a little bit more.

"Wow, maybe it'd look better after its make over," Leda remarked, grinning a little as she took a chunk out of her food.

"Leda," Rayann scolded, glancing at my District partner. Leda and Rayann had often clashed, and Leda wasn't one to take advice from elder people who she saw as boring, but I kind of liked my District partner. Despite her lack of empathy and the fact she kind of got off from annoying people, she wasn't too bad, albeit insecure. But she had a great sense of humour and was honest, neither traits I would expect of any kid being packed off to their death. "You should seriously avoid joking about people who have died. It's inoffensive." Before Leda replied, she interjected: "Please pass me the milk."

Leda ceased her attempts of arguing, sliding a jug of milk over to Rayann. Despite how timid and ascetic she could seem, Rayann also displayed an impressive - if not intimidating - control over her environment. Her sharp eyes and ears seemed to notice everything and she had this impartial approach that made me feel constantly inspected under a microscope.

Rayann hadn't talked to me since I had almost hurt her almost an hour ago. I wouldn't expect her to, and everytime I glanced at her she reflexively seemed to turn her head in the other direction. I had been used to being feared all my life, and though I was reaped in prison apparel, though everybody knew I was a criminal, with the Hunger Games there was a slightly blank slate at least. Nobody knew of my condition. Nobody knew of the dark secrets that I harboured. In that sense, I was kind of fortunate. But now every time I looked at Rayann she peered at me in the same manner everybody else did: suspicion, fear and confusion.

If only they knew how fucked up I was. Or why I was so fucked up in the first place. Nobody would suspect a prison convict came from a background of luxury, sheltered by paranoid parents who did everything they could to prevent me from being the person who I was today - I was locked home all day as they didn't want me to witness the madness and misery of the outside world. They even went so far as to hiring a tutor to stop me from going to compulsory schools.

They learnt, eventually, that such behaviours had only bred an unhealthy psychology into me, and did eventually let me out. But that would be their downfall: on a trip to a restaurant with me, as we passed through an alleyway on the way out, my tutor had confronted them and demanded that his pay was raised. I remembered the fear that struck me. I had spent the day feeling liberated at the prospect of exploring the outside world, and then, as he shot my parents, I blacked out realising just what they had sheltered me from.

When I woke up, I was told that I had been found by my tutor's corpse, laughing manically as I beat my fists on my mother's lifeless form. So from the age of eleven I was shipped off to a prison to live the rest of my life tranquilised with anti-psychotics. If I wasn't drugged up, I would black out and act the same as I did after that murdering bastard had killed my parents. Maybe I would even kill again.

Trying to conceal the pills so I wouldn't be caught using them by Leda, who had noticed me taking them on the train, I used some orange juice as a vessel and quickly downed them, feeling them rest in my stomach and feeling some light relief in knowing that for the next twenty-four hours I wouldn't be much of a danger. But then I glanced at the packaging of the tablets, covered in silver foil which had small breaks in it from where the previous pills had been popped out. There were only enough tablets to last me for the next few days.

Once the Games began, I no longer had anything to stabilise me.

Shaking, and trying to forget that worrying thought by devouring some bacon, I thought that could most probably be for the best.

"So, we're allies right?" Leda asked me as we made our way into the training centre.

"Huh?"

The room had already burst into life. I noticed the District Eight girl vehemently train with a knife, throwing it at targets with an admirable passion - she had even managed to hit the bullseye once. The District Three girl was a few metres away, manipulating a chemistry set so that it created an acid so strong the glass supporting it melted as her amazed District partner watched on. The District Eleven girl, despite seeming small and weak, was climbing up a set of bars rather impressively. Most intimidating were the Careers: I watched the Two girl help the One girl throw knives as the Two boy and Four girl sparred with clubs, smashing them against each other with a strength I envied.

"We're better in numbers," Leda said, jerking a thumb to the numerous targets and dummies the Careers had demolished a few metres besides us. "I mean, think about it, with those guys out there it's better to partner up. The tributes took the initiative and partnered up yesterday and they're all awkward and ugly anyway!" She tried catching up with me, her ragged breath panting the next few words: "So what do you think?"

"No offence, but if the Careers were tracking me down, I doubt you'd be of help," I said stoically, my brutal honesty showing. Lena was small and scrawny, her height not even reaching my shoulders. And while size didn't matter, she didn't seem particularly strong, skilled or smart.

"How do you even know?" She snarled, offended. "I can run, fast-ish, and I'm emotionally intelligent!"

"Please, nurture me to death," I said, rolling my eyes as we stopped outside a station which was designed to improve one's agility. In reality, all I could see there was an intense activity which involved climbing, crawling, monkey bars and the like. It seemed pretty difficult, and the District Four boy - a Career - made it out on the other side looking slightly worn out as he made his way back to the Careers. It must have been slightly difficult if it had challenged someone who had spent their whole life doing this kind of training.

"I know that you're hiding something from me," Leda said, glancing up into my eyes. "Like what those pills ar-"

"Okay, okay," I snapped, shushing her. "I'll be your ally-" as her face brightened I continued. "On the condition you beat me at this agility test."

"Wha-?"

"I'm being lenient here, I can't take extra baggage with me and slow myself down," I grinned.

"Fine," Leda huffed. Slowly both of us made our way to the edge of a straight yellow line that indicated the start of the training circuit. My toe brushed the line and I readied myself to run, grinning a little. I had often been forced to exercise by dogmatic prison guards, so this was similar to an afternoon run which was designed to make me behave well. Leda, meanwhile, looked at the track in front of her - complete with hurdles - with a level of disdain. She took a small breath and spoke readily: "Okay, on three... one... two... three-"

As soon as the last word even began to escape her lips, I immediately sprinted from my spot, charging over the yellow line and down the small track. Leda shouted angrily behind me, something about me not starting at the right time, but I knew irregardless I'd be way ahead of her. As I got closer to some low hurdles I grabbed onto their platform and leapt over them with relative ease, avoiding all of the obstacles that littered the track before managing to reach the next section of the training course.

It was a net covering a stretch of floor with barriers that prevented somebody from entering without crawling. As I sped towards it I threw myself onto the ground, pushing myself forwards my using my elbows. The netting beneath - only covered by a light sprinkling of artificial leaves - had made it difficult, but with a little bit of perseverance I managed to force myself forwards. A quick glance behind me confirmed that I was easily defeating Leda, who was grumbling on the floor after she had sped into a hurdle. With a confident grin, I pushed myself forwards, struggling a few more minutes before having the liberation to stand and run.

I hopped onto thin balance beams set out before me; unlike the Hunger Games, the only consequence that followed falling was the foamy, blue seat of mats beneath me, but I managed to retain my balance. I wonder if Leda had even managed to finish running, but I couldn't afford to turn and investigate. Trying to centralise my weight, I quickly scurried across the balance. I continued rushing forwards but a good ten metres, and as the balance beams twisted sharply so did I, managing to solidify the centre of gravity before running a few more metres, approaching the monkey bars.

I leapt from the balance beams onto the monkey bars, which were only a small distance. Whilst hoisting my weight, my face scrunching under the strain, I noticed that Leda wasn't even possible to see behind me. Shrugging that off, I quickly forced myself forward, one hand in front of the other and grasping the bars before me as I forced my way over to the other side. At the end of the bars as a red line, and as I swung off of them and felt my feet touch the ground a buzzer immediately set off. I noticed my breaths were laboured, but that was relatively unchallenging.

"Only five minutes!" A trainer said, glancing at a stopwatch. He had been observing me all the way from the other side of the training centre, a glint in his eyes. "Pretty great. Only beaten by Ross Deverell of District Four, with four minutes and thirty seconds. Of course, you're the only two who have done the circuit thus far today, but that's pretty impressive!"

I still felt pretty dejected. I suppose my nature had been a little competitive, but the fact I had only just been beaten by a Career boy made me pretty proud of myself. Leda was still lingering behind, and god knows how long it would take her to complete the circuit. I grabbed a water bottle which had been left on a table in front of me and took a few gulps before noticing that there were another group who had been observing us. One was a curvaceous blonde who was also taking a few gulps of water while two boys - the boys from Ten and Six - were sparring behind her with their swords. Neither of them were bad fighters.

Despite looking the weakest, the way her eyes locked onto me made her the most intimidating. She almost seemed like the leader of the clique, and upon noticing that a clique had began to form, alarm bells began to ring off in my head. Cliques seemed to be like a second Career group, and the District Ten girl's group seemed competent and - considering the atmosphere she gave off - pretty intimidating too. When her eyes noticed mine she strolled over to me with the perfect gait and jiggling hips.

"Hey partner," she said politely as she approached me, courtesying and dropping the somewhat sexual pretense she had adopted earlier. The cunning eyes she had earlier were sweet and demure as she glanced up at me. "M'name is Carlie, and I was just going to make a small deal with you."

"What kind?" I said, downing some more water.

"Well, you seem pretty talented," she said, turning so that we faced her allies behind. "I managed to assemble a small group of guys who I thought could help me survive, with me helping them survive of course," she added. "Naturally, any guy who isn't a psychopath like the Careers, yet competent enough to not get me killed is invited. You look more than competent, so how about you join Aurochs, Seb and I."

I considered her offer. Being in an alliance with another three people seemed threatening, especially when I knew that I couldn't rely on my sanity being intact throughout the Games. What if I lost myself and, in the process, was killed by a member of my alliance? I glanced at the boys spar briefly, before glancing at Carlie. I had also needed to stay loyal to Leda, and though Leda wasn't as charming or intelligent as Carlie seemed to be, I could trust her a hell of a lot more.

"So? How about-"

Carlie was interrupted by the trainer announcing something: "Eighteen minutes! That was... erm... a commendable try, District Five."

Before I knew it Leda walked up to me looking strained and even slightly bruised. Her inability to breathe had proven to me that the training course was a lot for her, as it would be to most people. As she approached me Leda leant onto me and began to pant, trying to stabilise her breaths as Carlie looked down at her in the most snobbish manner.

"Who is that?" She asked disdainfully.

"Her?" I grinned, glancing at her. "That is my ally."

"I am?" Leda asked, shocked, even before Carlie had time to exclaim her shock. I gave Leda a stern look and then moved by eyes over to Carlie, grinning a little.

"I thought I made it clear," I said. "Of course you're my ally."

"Hm, good luck then," Carlie said, trying to keep the sweetness in her voice as much as possible. However, it was slowly beginning to turn sour. "May the best tributes win, District Five."

"Oh they will," I said, watching her walk back to her alliance.

"She seemed pretty nice," Leda said, watching Carlie stroll off. I guess she didn't see the subtle signs of the Ten girl's more malicious behaviour, or maybe she wasn't really used to fake people in general. I watched her return back to her two male allies, who were laughing and talking amicably to each other. Leda then grinned at me as I turned to walk away from the scene. "So, it looks like we're partners, hey?"

"Looks like we are," I grinned, finishing off the contents of my water bottle.

"That's great," Leda chatted endlessly as I made my way to the next station, one involving knives: I wanted to learn about a weapon I could use other than my bare fists, and Leda could also benefit from a bit more weaponry knowledge. "Well, now we're allies, we can discuss those little trivial things with each other. First, I hate tomatoes with a passion, and I have this really cool story about..."

Somehow, despite the fact she was an endless chatterbox and somewhat clueless, I could kind of derive comfort from an alliance without Leda, and I walked away from Carlie and her group without regretting rejection the proposition of an alliance with her.

Honora Flloyd, District 4, 18:

"So, what do you think about that proposition?"

"What?" I said, glancing up at Jericho. I didn't think much of him - honestly, he would easily manage to reach the training score of nine I had set, but he was a little bit of a dunce, or he at least appeared so. He'd be strong, he'd kill off a good few tributes thus paving my way towards victory, but he was no victor. If he was a victor, I was a cuddly bunny. And I was no cuddly bunny.

Lunch was always the worst part of training. The food wasn't as nice as Capitol food usually was, so I sat down and near abandoned the gloopy soup before me and watched as my allies conversed. Due to holding a sullen face and daydreaming, most of them knew it was wise to not talk to me. Jericho, however, did not know that was the wise thing to do.

"You know, we learn some survival stuff," he said with a light smile. There was something about him that annoyed me. He was a killing machine and yet he just appeared so disgustingly nice. "It could be useful."

"Seriously?" I rolled my eyes. "We're Careers. Survival stuff is for the puny tributes who shake in their meagre clothes as their numb hands try to light a fire in the cold, dark night."

"Just a suggestion..." His voice trailed off unconfidently, and I grinned. I glad he at least knew who was boss.

I glanced around at all of the other tributes as they conversed. Jericho may have been a niggling annoyance, but he was nothing compared to my District partner. I seriously considered him the nickname Ross the retard, because he was absolutely stupid. He always held this self righteous air to him, everything was done with a smugness I wanted to shatter, and I suppose our personalities generally clashed. So I hated him. And then there was the little tag along with the stupid nickname. What kind of tramp had the nickname Lexie? I didn't know what she was doing here. One glance towards her affirmed that she was no Career. She was a disgrace to District One; District One was admired for being cold and distant, whereas she was close and... dare I say it... kind.

And I should know. I lived in District One. It was the place where I was born, where I said my first words and held my first weapon. District One meant a lot to me. I trained and grew strong there, becoming the person I am today. The day I had to leave was a painful one: I was walking home from training when a Peacekeeper threw me into an alleyway. For the first time in my life, I was scared, he tore of my clothes and pinned me against the wall. I remembered the fear and desperation as I swiftly intercepted a knife I always kept strapped to my boot and stabbed him to death with it.

I returned home traumatised, though the incident doesn't effect me anymore. Killing a Peacekeeper often resulted in death, so when I returned home covered in blood and tears, managing to choke out my story, my parents raised as much money as they could to ship the family off to another District. District Four, where I was happiest. I trained there but it wasn't home, it wasn't the homeland of Cashmere and Gloss, the best Hunger Games Victors of all time. I spent my days miserable, waiting to volunteer so that I could go back to the place that I loved dearly one day.

Pullox was great, too. I liked the kid. Couldn't trust him at all, but that's what you need in a good Career - that fierceness and distance. He was the reason I held my hometown in such high esteem. It was too bad I would have to kill him, and too bad that I could kill him with ease, too. I liked the Two girl, but not enthusiastically. She was good at weapons and she kept to herself. I couldn't really ask for anything more.

"So..." The Two boy smiled at the group. "What should we do?"

"That's my decision," I growled.

There was a pause, and Lorelei shrugged. "I promised Lexie I'd train her today."

I noticed Lexie shy away slightly and a wide grin made its way across my face. "Oh, is that so? Well, I'll come with you," I stood up and gave Alexandria the most menacing possible look I could. I wanted her to know I didn't like her, and that if she were to be in the Careers she'd be in for a rough ride. "Check up on your progress and stuff."

Alexandria moved a dark wisp of hair out of her face, her eyes concentrating as she leveled a knife and then quickly launched it across the perimeter between herself and her target. I rolled my eyes at the feeble shot. It wasn't awful, but it didn't hit the centre of the target. If it wasn't perfect, it was feeble. And in my alliance I wanted nothing short of perfection.

"Your aim is getting better," Lorelei smiled, withdrawing another knife and handing it to Lexie. "What I usually do before I throw is squint a little - that's if it's a difficult throw, like, you know, a moving person, when you squint it actually makes your aim that tiny bit more accurate and..." Lorelei was a great knife thrower. Though not stronger than me, I dare say her ranged abilities outshone mine slightly. I didn't even see her arm move, but in a quick blur a knife had perfectly wormed its way into the centre of the target. "See?"

"I wish I could be like that," Alexandria complimented, readying her next knife. "If I had your talent Lorelei, I wouldn't be half as scared."

"Seriously?" I snorted from the sidelines, watching the weakling tribute waste their time at stupid stations. "This is the Hunger Games little girl, wishing isn't going to do you any good. You have to do, act or kill."

Alexandria paused. I saw her hold her tongue for a second, refraining from retorting. At that moment I knew that the stupid bitch was a little bit more smart than she made off. Keeping a passive-aggressive expression, she squinted slightly, her knife hesitating in her hands. After launching a blade, it soared through the air gracefully before coupling itself next to Lorelei's blade. Right in the centre.

"Hey, look Honora," Lorelei taunted. "It seems as if Lexie is doing, acting and killing."

I stood up and stormed towards the knife rack, tearing out knife after knife and launching them at the target. Instead of directly at the targets, I launched the tirade of knives at the plank of wood that supported them. They hacked their way through the wood, and eventually the target collapsed and rolled along the floor of the training centre. Still having a knife in hand, I turned smugly at the other Career girls, towering over them.

"Not quite the same with a moving tribute," I said to Lexie. "Knife tricks aren't doing, acting and they certainly aren't killing. You need to be brutal. That's how I like it and that's how the Capitol likes it. These targets are just targets. It's different when it's with humans, isn't it?"

"To you, humans are targets," Lexie said, barely audible.

"Yes they are," I grinned, wrapping my arm around the Career girls' shoulders and moving them towards a much better axe station; one of real brutality and death. I led them towards hatchets and axes. "And do you know what? If you don't learn to get that nice nine score, you'll be a target too... and well, you just saw what I can do to a target..."

I removed an axe and rammed it into a table where information was used on water filtration. The instructor gasped as I smashed my axe into it, the immense strength of the blow making the table split into two. Leaflets blew up into the air. As I expected, the Peacekeepers who kept watch on the room barely reacted, though Ross quickly rushed over and looked concerned, lightly pushing past the mortified station-owner.

"What is happening here?" He said, looking at the corpse of a table that lay splintered on the floor.

"Oh, I was just showing Alexandria what makes a Career," I grinned, discarding the axe and watching it clatter on the floor. "Wasn't I, Lorelei?"

Lorelei glanced around, not quite knowing how to react. After bravely nodding, she then moved her attention to her fingernails, as if nothing was wrong. I noticed that most people were looking at us now: Jericho and Pullox began to move towards us from their respective stations, tent setting and motion physics. Other tributes would timidly glance at us, and I was ravishing in the attention. When all cameras would be watching me hack a tribute in half, I better get used to the thought of audiences.

"You broke my station..." The instructor said.

"Cry me a river," I snapped. This guy was a Capitolian who probably had a penthouse while I was forced to live in District Four. I had little to no sympathy for him, or little to no sympathy towards anyone but myself.

"Honora, look-" Ross started.

"Don't look me," I said, moving in front of Ross' face and crouching down slightly to level with him. "I know you have a problem with me, Ross. I know you think I'm a cunt, or something, but it doesn't matter, because I think everybody in this alliance is a cunt who I'm keeping here for the sake of convenience, so since I'm in charge I'll advise you to back off!"

I don't know why I was getting so angry. I didn't even know why I was suppressing tears of rage, but as all of the members of my alliance gave me questioning glances I felt my authority becoming undermined. The last time my dominance - my strength as a human - was undermined, I was violated, and I was forced to kill them as a result. I felt bile burn at my throat as I glanced at Pullox and Jericho.

"Why are you two here?" I roared. "Can you guys not just leave me alone or something?"

"Honora," Lexie's hand reached for mine. "I know that the Games are getting close and everything can appear so overwhelming-"

I swatted her hand away. "Overwhelming? I do not get overwhelmed. How dare you act like you understand me you stupid slut!"

My last word hung in the air and everyone gasped. Pullox even smirked briefly, though Lexie looked as if she had been slapped. She recoiled slightly, and at first tears began to brim at her eyes. But then a darkness took over her face. She brushed the lone tear away from her cheek and glared at me, suddenly showing an intense aggression in front of everybody:

"You think you're some tough bitch, don't you?" Lexie snapped, glaring at me with adamance. "You pretend that nothing can hurt you, like you're special. But all I see is a scared little girl trapped in a freak of nature's body. Do you even know how pathetic you look like in front of other people? Get the fuck over it," everybody around us looked shocked, though the pathetic District kids had resumed acting normally. "How about you do something productive like Ross or Lorelei. I mean, they're training for the Games, preparing to win and not acting like stupid children!"

It took a while for her sentence to sink in. I don't think anybody expected such a thing to pour out of Lexie's mouth. Even she paused to regain her breaths as she thought about what she had said. I felt the icy insults slide into every pore of my skin, hurting me like needles. Once they had sunk in, they injected pure rage, which screamed within me and made my muscles clench and my eyes bulge as I glanced at the infuriated girl.

No... no...

Be calm.

Don't let your temper get the best of you...

Without even thinking, I gave an enraged scream and clutched at an axe which rested in the weapon rack. Nobody expected Lexie's response, but nobody had predicted my reaction either. I intended to put the stupid bitch out of her misery, to rest this axe into her forehead, but Ross was quicker than I expected and almost responded in time to stop me. As I held onto the axe and began to swing it, he jumped in the way. Lorelei screamed and stepped back, looking terrified at the sight of the axe. Her reaction seemed strange to me, since she was used to swinging axes and could easily avoid them. Why the fear?

Everybody else looked mortified as my axe made its way across Ross' face. Blood splattered, spraying the floors as his body immediately crumpled. Alexandria stumbled back and fell, suddenly pale. I attempted to swing again but both of my hands were grabbed. One by a masked Peacekeeper, and the other by Manny Nutt, the Capitol's head of security. I screamed, forcing the Peacekeeper off me easily, though Manny was even stronger than I was. As I struggled and screamed, multiple Peacekeepers grabbed my other arm and began to drag me out of the training centre.

"You better get a nine, idiot girl!" I cursed as they dragged me away. "Because if you don't I'll hack you into tiny pieces and make your family watch as I eat you! How about that?" To my dismay, Ross had managed to stand up. He seemed in okay condition considering he had an axe to the face - only one deep gash running from beneath his eye and resting at his jaw. "And you, Ross, are out of the Careers, no matter what your score! You're out! Just wait until I kill you!"

I glumly remained curled up on the couch, watching the pathetic Capitolian news as numerous glass bowls of savoury snacks lay spread out before me. After grabbing a handful of pretzels and following that up with a handful of popcorn, I leant up a little when news about the Hunger Games flickered onto the television. Naturally, during Hunger Games season Hunger Games related things always filled the news, but this year it was annoyingly been quasi-overshadowed by boring shit about the rebellion and the war with District Thirteen.

"I am Caecilius Norton, reporting an incident that happened at approximately three o'clock today," the attractive man glanced at the television screen with a happy smile. I groaned, predicting it would be related to my outburst. Though I knew my punishment wasn't severe - because I'd be dead and not in my comfortable District quarters if it was - I knew it'd probably be publicised. "The President has dropped sinister hints about this year's arena, leaving Hunger Games fans bursting with excitement."

A small clip of the grey haired, forlorn looking President showed him walking into his palace gardens, trying to avoid a screaming crowd. One reporter asked him about the Games' arena and if he was well informed, and he glanced at the camera with sinister eyes:

"This is the arena where the weak can become strong," was all he said mysteriously, before being led away by a Peacekeeper.

"Bullshit!" I said, leaning up. I gripped a bowl and threw it at the television, watching shards of black and transparent glass cover the floor below as I heaved. I had been in a terrible mood today, but the President's code talk had pissed me off further. "Strong is strong and weak is weak! There is no other way!"

"You've pissed off the Capitol enough," I heard my escort, Portia, say. Portia was a short, plumb woman who looked jolly and smiley. Which was why I hated her. I wish I was in District One, where their escort was supposed to be firm and proper and they actually had a victor. "Granted, a television is worth nothing to them and can be replaced pretty quickly..." She strode over and sat next to me.

"That television is probably worth more than my house," I remarked, leaning back into the couch and sighing.

"Yeah..." Portia looked at the broken piece of technology remorsefully. I wondered what went on in her mind. "It probably is."

"So, what are the Capitol going to kill me?" I taunted, crunching on a pretzel.

"Wh - no... They think your punishment enough is losing training time, which obviously doesn't bother you," Portia gave a small chuckle along with me. "They have reasons to not punish you... the official reason is that Ross will be okay, thank god, and the Capitol will fix his face as if nothing had ever happened by the time the day is over with," she smiled and glanced at me.

"The official reason? What is the honest one?"

Portia paused. She tentatively reached out at one of the bowls I hadn't flung at the television, clawing into it. For the first time in forever, I felt scared today. Scared I had lost control of my alliance and scared the Capitol would kill me. Portia scolded me, but I didn't give a shit. I didn't plan to make up with Ross, in fact, I was going to kill him, and I would only let Alexandria glance at me if she got a nine or higher. One look at Ross today when he briefly came into the District quarters to shower before he was taken to a medical centre told me that my iron grip was tighly sealed on the Careers.

Alexandria and Ross had tried to defy me. I bet they felt smug when they saw the Peacekeepers drag me away, but I was ultimately the winner. I knew that. I knew how to play the Games, and I would play them to a brutal extent never reached before. If that meant destroying anybody who threatened my leadership, so be it. Alexandria defied me once, but I shocked her into submission. She was tame, and wouldn't act again. But Ross was dangerous. While we were in the District quarters I'd act civil, if only for Portia and the media, but as soon as the Games begin and that gong rings...

Well, Ross would have to wait and see.

"The honest reason is they think you're too entertaining to dispose of," Portia said, standing up.

I knew it. I grinned triumphantly. Of course I was too entertaining - too valuable. And if I were too valuable in the pre-Games, the Gamemakers would naturally refrain from trying to kill me at the beginning of the Games. So no worries until the final twelve at least. And even then I wasn't to worry; all of the tributes, Career or not, were beneath me in one way or another, all existing just to die and pave the way for my victory. I couldn't wait to stand in front of the President and have him place the victor's crown on my head... the same one that touched great victors... Cashmere... Gloss...

"Night Honora," Portia patted my head affectionately, moving to the doorway. "Sleep tight, and try to be nice to Ross. He is your District partner."

I frowned. Portia was annoying, but she was genuinely kind, and despite the fact I acted like a tough Career she continuously tried with me. Sure, she ranted about past tributes she had who were noble and stupid (and all dead), but she meant well. She valued me as a human. And though the Capitol would be nice to me and would make things easy and bathe me with luxury, that wasn't out of admiration or appreciation. It was because I was a chess piece, one they wanted to win, but a piece nonetheless.

I shook such thoughts from my mind and flopped back down onto the couch, wanting to sleep here. I couldn't afford to think too deeply about those kind of issues anyway, not when victory, fame and blood was so close. I had so much hatred for the world, and my act of violence earlier only proved to me how I was bursting to express it.

Hello! Late update again, and shoddily edited (but not unedited!) chapter!

Anyway, thanks so much for all your reviews! You've all been brilliant, and a handful of you are already eligible for sponsoring, so start thinking of gift ideas! Lets see if we can make it to 200 reviews! :)

~Toxic