First a little recordkeeping:

SamuraiCatFan: Forget gangsta rap, wait until they speak to the local Baptist (National, not Southern) population. We have that planned for several 'discussions'. Experience…

Shiva –J: From what I know about Missionary work then the 'Twelve Apostles of Paganism' will follow the basic formula of establishing a charity organization (with funding from the Colonies I presume) and engage with the community(ies) they wish to evangelize, establish a relationship with people and give out basic information about their religion and then work on those that show interest.

No, they won't. They don't have a gain plan yet. There's a reason for this which is why I will go into it in the story. They are new to missionary work. Most of the people in the colonies are under the same religion, (Different sects but the same family other than the monotheists and atheists). The missionaries here expect to go out and start gathering flock for their beliefs. They have no idea how to proceed in the wilderness of another planet that has no idea who they are and really don't care. You see, these weren't the missionaries who were supposed to come to Earth…

Corruption is easy but these same people are prepared fro such tactics since they do the same thing at home. But knowing is not the same as experiencing as Ambassador Saltum has discovered. Teir religion is dead here? For the most part true although there are a few who believe but not the same way as the Colonials. It will be depressing.

Worldmaker: Realization and traumatization from the net is the name of the game. Their worldview has to change first before any meaningful understanding can be reached.

EvilTheLast: The missionaries as a whole (most of them and the far majority of the Colonies) have no idea that there is alien life out there. They have not been told of the Race, no details of the goa'uld and nothing about the Wraith. The colonial defense force near Earth is isolated is not in contact with family at home so they have not spoken of the Race or anything else. The colonies know only what their government has told them so far. Disclosure for them begins with Goesel's speech found in WW: The Balanced Destroyed. There ae a lot of agricultural produce that could be exchanged…but not yet, not even close. Plus alien foods on Earth and vice versa needs to be carefully explored before the okay can be given and that could take years even if everything was perfect between the two groups.

Ari989: Learning everything there is to learn from the comfort of their hotel rooms… That is in some ways correct. But the internet isn't real life either. Missionaries need toget out and speak to people, have their lives challenged, explore the churches for real, see the sight, smell the adventure. That's the reason why they're out there, not just to see everything through the eyes of a machine. That's not life.

Robert: I am wondering how the war with the Cylons is progressing.

The war has been lost most of the Cylons are wiped out except for the few on Home

Missionaries:

Tyberi Patrenus

Lucy Ferro

Linus Abner

Elosha Gale

Dodona Belloi

Antonia Ursula Silva or Ursula for short

Luke Rhettus

Nikko Demos

Julian Soter

Chapter Three

New York

Waldorf Astoria

Morning

Twenty minutes? Elosha fumed. I'll get there when I get there. This isn't the military.

She decided to arrive fashionably late by at least ten minutes. She already missed the answers to the first news segment and she had no intentions of missing this even more interesting one just beginning. Leisurely dressing she listened to the news brief on the TV.

"In related news, the joint session of the Senate Committee on Extraterrestrial Secrecy and the House Extra-Terrestrial Activities Committee is continuing proceedings on uncovering and investigating incidents that occurred while the existence of aliens and the stargate was covered up before Disclosure. We now go to the committee chamber at Capitol Hill."

A group of suited senators and representatives sat at a panel in apparent judgment above a table where an old man sat with who was apparently his lawyer. Spectators and media people crowded the room behind the table. It reminded Elosha of the proceedings in the People's Council investigating the late Secretary Laura Roslin's non-existent role in a corruption scandal during the first term of President Adar's administration. One of the female senators in the middle of the panel leaned forward. A scrolling subtitle beneath her on the TV screen announced her to be Senator Camille Wray.

"As Chairman of the National Commission on Extraterrestrial Secrecy, I'd like to convene our sixth public hearing. We continue over from yesterday our witness, a Mister David Ballard. The Sergeant-at-Arms will swear in the witness."

While the named man was sworn in, Elosha was interested to note that the swearing in involved laying a hand on a thick hardcover book. Was this the Terran version of the Sacred Scrolls? She'd need to take a look at it somehow, then she frowned because if the language was in Englasia, she would have to have it translated. On the other hand, it might be in electronic form and it could be easily translated into Caprican standard for her and the others.

On TV, once the man was seated, Senator Wray spoke again.

"Mister Ballard, I believe even the public's sometimes limitless patience for more lies and deceit has been exhausted by recent and current events, so I will simply skip the niceties and get right into it. Will that be acceptable with you?"

"Yes, ma'am, it will."

"Fine. Now as we concluded yesterday, you testified under oath that you had never heard of the organization known as Majestic-12, Majic-12, MJ-12, or simply Majic or Majestic, or its later incarnation known simply as the Committee. Nor have you ever heard of the organizations known as the NID or the Trust which were said to be controlled by the so-called Committee. Would you care to revise your testimony today, given that you had the evening to refresh your memory?"

"No, ma'am. I'll stand by that statement."

Camille opened a folder on the panel desk and held up a piece of paper. "Then why is your name, sir, on this memorandum about a Goa'uld System Lord who went by the name of Ba'al hiding on Earth, dated August 26, 2005?" The senator turned to the staff. "Please show Mr. Ballard the Committee's Exhibit 3-B."

A male staff brought the piece of paper to the table where David Ballard looked at it. He said, "I can only assume that it is a fraudulent document created by political enemies during this turbulent period where it seems more important to find scapegoats than it does to find the truth."

It was clear that Senator Camille Wray didn't like the man's answer. "Three sworn witnesses have testified before this committee, sir, that the memo is authentic and that you were not only a member of the Majestic-12 Committee, but that you were, in actual fact, its leader for a period of nine years. Are those witnesses then lying, sir?"

"It appears they are."

The senator now appeared exasperated. "At any time in the last twenty years, sir, have you yourself ever been in possession of knowledge about the Stargate Program and of extraterrestrials?"

"Not to the best of my knowledge."

"Have you ever seen an extraterrestrial biological entity such as those called the Asgard, and the Goa'uld?"

"Not one I would recognize."

There was a little laughter from the audience.

"By all means, Mr. Ballard, share the humor with us."

"I find it amusing that with a potential threat of invasion now hovering over us, literally and figuratively, that the United States Congress would focus its energy on the distant past and not the future. I find it downright ludicrous that my forty-five years in private business, where I created more than seven hundred-fifty jobs as President of Stark Consortium, should be characterized by you and your committee as a front for some nefarious and illicit purpose. So, yes, Senator, the whole thing does amuse me."

The senator now looked like she was sucking on a lemon. "Do you believe an organization called Majestic-12, Majic-12 or simply the Committee existed with the mandate of covering up extraterrestrial contact and stealing extraterrestrial technology for its own benefits?"

"Senator, I'm a businessman. I have enough trouble getting my employees to stop stealing office supplies and calling in sick when they're not. Aliens, that's above my pay-grade."

Camille Wray nodded. "Very well. Sergeant-at-Arms, would you please bring in the detainee?"

The camera swiveled its view over to a door opening. Four armed guards flanked a blonde woman dressed in an orange overall. Her hands were in handcuffs that were linked by a chain to another set of cuffs at her ankles. She looked up at the senate committee panel and her eyes glowed bright briefly. David Ballard's mouth slowly fell open as loud murmurs came from shocked spectators.

The senator, looking satisfied, said, "Perhaps you'll recognize Charlotte Mayfield, or rather the goa'uld inhabiting her, Athena. Mr. Ballard, perhaps we are overly generous, but the National Commission on Extraterrestrial Secrecy will recess for fifteen minutes to give you time to confer with your lawyer on the penalties of perjury to a congressional committee." She banged a gavel on the panel surface. "We're in recess."

By this time, Elosha was dry and dressed, ready to take on the day. The woman was trying to process what she'd just seen. Was that woman Athena? The Athena? She didn't understand. If this were a pretender,, then so be it and gand chains were too good for her. But her eyes glowed with power and the committee obviously considered the prisoner as an extraterrestrial, meaning that she was posing as one of the true gods. She went to the dining room that was part of the set of suites the Colonial missionaries were staying in. Yet, her mind reeled from what she had just seen. She was sure she heard the senator correctly.

Athena.

Alien.

Alien human, or alien-alien?

By the Gods!

In the hallway, Elosha fell into step alongside other priests. She wasn't overly surprised that almost half the others were arriving about the same time as she was. It was a subtle rebuke, but a rebuke nonetheless. No one had entered the room yet other than Patrenus so he was effectively alone probably, impatient for his minions to come in. That attitude was something she intended to change.

At the door, she nodded in turns at the ponderous Julian Soter, the stern-looking Ursula, the mischievously-smiling Lucy and the scholarly Luke with his nose in his e-paper arranged like a tablet. It was a short silent procession and Elosha preferred that as she needed to process what she had seen and heard. At the double doors leading to the dining room, they paused. The sight made them stop.

It appeared that Tyberi Patrenus had rearranged the seats. Last evening, the chairs were all spaced fairly evenly around the long table. Now, there was only one chair at the head of the table and Tyberi was sitting in it. All the other chairs were arranged in a single line down one side of the table. Tyberi was staring intently at the other missionaries standing in the doorway, frozen, unsure what to do.

Finally, Ursula began to step forward, but before she could go further than a step, Lucy suddenly darted forward and took the seat nearest to Tyberi. Ursula merely raised an eyebrow and took the next seat, followed by Luke and Julian. As the others pondered their next move, Linus Abner appeared and observed the situation. He wordlessly strode over to the table, picked up the chair furthest from Tyberi, carried it around the table and set it down next to Tyberi on the other side, and took his seat. Tyberi only raised an eyebrow at this. All eyes now turned to Elosha.

Elosha resisted the urge to roll her eyes. It was clearly a test by Tyberi. She wordlessly strode over to the table, specifically to the chair next to the one recently vacated by Linus. She slowly and methodically dragged this chair to the end of the table opposite from Tyberi and set it up directly facing the chief missionary. She sat in the chair, shifting to find a comfortable position and looking up at Tyberi, she finally said, "Intimate arrangement you've made here, Father Patrenus. Is a lesson intended? I love to learn and teach!"

An expression flickered across Tyberi's face. It was almost too quick for everyone else to identify but it was as if he was momentarily smelling a fart and ignoring it. "Yes, Mother Elosha, we have a lesson today-the lesson of Earth."

Somehow, Elosha just knew that Tyberi was ignoring her pointed inference about the seating arrangement.

Just then, the rest of the other missionaries filed into the room and took their own seats. Silas Germanico, Nikkos, Jocasta Sparrow and Thomasina King.

"Where's the oracle?"

Thomasina said, " Dodona is in her room with the door closed." She shrugged. "Likely getting high on chamalla."

Jocasta sniffed delicately in prim disapproval. "As a housewife and a priestess, I would never do that."

Tyberi tsk-tsked at Jocasta. "Dodona is an oracle. She speaks with the gods and she speaks for the gods. When the gods deign to speak with us, she will come."

Elosha nodded somberly. "It's not easy being high all the time," she deadpanned.

Tyberi and Ursula threw a sharp look at Elosha, but the priestess who was a former Quorum delegate appeared unaware of anything wrong. Surely, she did not mean anything derogatory about it because she had experimented with and indulged in chamalla and other drugs while she was in the monastery training to be a priestess.

"Anyway...," sighed Tyberi. "I hope we all have had a good night's rest. Today will be a long day full of lessons…" Here, Tyberi threw a quick wary glance at Elosha. "…Lessons for us as well as for the people of this planet. We are the chief priests set apart for this task. The best and the brightest that the Faith can offer to represent the Synod on Earth. With the example of the Lords of Kobol to guide us, our tasks, individually and collectively, will lead to Earth knowing the truth that saved us from the Blaze on Kobol, the truth that blessed us with the Twelve Worlds and their bounties, whereas the Thirteenth Tribe knew only the one planet, Earth. That truth shall reach all the monads on this planet. If not immediately, eventually. The will of the gods is guiding our hand. Our mission on Earth will be the triumph of the will."

"That is why we've come all this way," said Lucy Ferro agreeably. "Why we had to endure all that 'singing.' Get rid of the last bad monotheist, then there's…cake."

Julian pointed out with a smile, "What if even the cake is a lie?"

She shrugged, "We eat it. It's delicious anyway, isn't it?"

Ursula rolled her eyes and said, "We should have stayed well out of all this, if you'd ask me. But, once the cow's been milked, there's no squirting the cream back up her udder, so here we are, to see things through."

Tyberi's face was darkening as he realized that he was already losing control of the discussion. Before he could reprimand the clerics, several knocks sounded on the door leading to the kitchen.

Tyberi arched an eyebrow at Ursula. He wanted to punish her for what she said. "Want to get that?"

"Not particularly."

The chief missionary missed a step. But he had already started this so he had to see this through. "Could you get that?"

Ursula sniffed softly and glared at him. "I suppose I could, if I were asked."

Tyberi took a deep breath to keep his patience. After all, Ursula was a close friend of Livia Sytomia, currently the most powerful voice in the Synod back home. He forced a smile and said, "Would you please get that?"

"Well, of course." Ursula stood up and strode over to the door. She added dismissively, "Why do you have to make things so complicated?"

Tyberi clenched his jaw as he glared daggers at the priestess' back.

From her vantage point at the other end of the table, Elosha could see that the byplay between Ursula and Tyberi didn't ruffle the priestess at all, if her calm proud face was any indication. Elosha remembered hearing the story of when Ursula found out that her daughter collaborated with the Cylons and plotted to betray some secrets for the love of a Cylon during the Second Cylon War. Even as the battlestars burned their ways into the nebulous heart of Cylon space, Ursula locked up her daughter in her bedroom and left her to starve to death. To punish herself for giving birth to such a traitorous woman, Ursula sat outside the door, stoically listening to the screams and crying from within until exhaustion and death finally overtook her daughter. If the story was true, Elosha knew that Tyberi should not poke the woman that Livia apparently trusted.

Ursula opened the door. Manuel was there, standing behind an enclosed food trolley and smiling brightly. He immediately rolled the trolley into the dining room and spoke. The translator automatically and smoothly made him understandable. "Ladies and gentlemen, your breakfast orders!"

Each time Manuel stopped at a cleric in the order of proximity away from the door, the top of the trolley slid open and a tray of food rose up. Manuel set the tray in front of each cleric.

Luke wondered aloud, "How is it that the food orders fit the order of our seating? We only just came in and..." He waved a hand vaguely, at a loss.

Manuel grinned brightly. "Your e-papers told us."

Luke blinked repeatedly until he understood. "Network integration," he muttered.

Some of the clerics shifted in their chairs uncomfortably. They remembered selecting their breakfast orders in their rooms and here they were, matched with their seats with no action to inform the kitchen of their seating arrangement.

"Gods be good!" breathed Jocasta.

Manuel gave a small bow of his head. "Enjoy your breakfast, ladies and gentlemen!"

"Wait a moment," called out Julian. "What are these…strips of…meat?" He pointed at an arrangement of flat wavy brown greasy-looking meat marbled with fat throughout.

"Oh, it's bacon, sir. American bacon, to be precise." Manuel consulted his e-paper tablet. "You ordered a breakfast that is popular in New York. These Americans, they are loco about it. Quite good, I assure you, even if the local obsession with it can border on the creepy. I'm told that if the bacon doesn't shatter when stabbed with a fork, it's undercooked." With that, he gave another bright teethy smile and backed out of the dining room, pulling the food trolley after himself.

Julian Soter dubiously picked up a strip of bacon and gingerly bit into it. He blinked and smiled in appreciation.

"Well, then, now that's done with," said Tyberi. "Shall we get down to the lesson at hand?"

The clerics nodded in agreement as they ate their breakfasts.

Tyberi waved a hand at a fly. Annoyed yet smug, he said, "For all their vaunted wealth and technology, they still haven't solved the problem of houseflies."

The clerics made small noises of agreement. The housefly escaped Tyberi's efforts to swat it and landed unseen on a wall. If someone were to take a magnifying glass and look at this fly, he'd see that the bug appears entirely artificial. In fact, it was a robot insect, complete with a tiny antenna at the back of the bulbous silvery rear. Through its composite eye-cameras, Manuel and his fellow intelligence agents leaned forward in a hidden room to watch and listen to the images and sounds relayed by the fly on the wall.

"Father Rhettus," said Tyberi, "you are the scholar of our group. I know you have spent much time on the local information net. Tell us your impressions."

Luke hesitated for a while and then said, "Well, brothers and sisters, there is a shocking amount of pornographic material on the internet."

"And water is wet," said Elosha. "That's human nature."

Ursula nodded. "I remember when they released the holoband, the porn industry was the first to take full advantage of the technology. Much of the V-world was such a debauched place! The Thirteenth Tribe is just as human as any of us in the Colonies."

"Terrans," corrected Elosha. "If we insist on calling them the Thirteenth Tribe, then it is a conceit of ours. That tribe was the first to leave Kobol, two thousand years before the Exodus to the Colonies, right? So shouldn't they be called the First Tribe?"

Luke appraised the priestess even as Tyberi and most of the other clerics threw frowns at her. "You could say that. Actually, that might explain one of the definitions of the name Tau'ri. It means 'People of the First World' or simply 'the First People'."

Tyberi now shifted his frown to Luke. "Let's not get off track with what's likely Terran propaganda."

Luke cleared his throat nervously under Tyberi's glare. "Anyway, it seems that Earth has technological schizophrenia. See, some areas of the planet are advanced and rich while many other areas are incredibly poor and primitive. The images of such schizophrenia can be shocking. It's like Earth is a microcosm of the Colonies…or it's as if the circumstances of all the Colonies are crammed onto one single planet!"

He tapped his tablet-form e-paper and a large painting hung on the wall in front of the long table transformed into a screen. Or rather, the smart glass protecting the painting became a computer screen. Elosha realized that there was another reason for Tyberi to arrange all the chairs to one side of the table. It was for their ease of viewing the screen. Luke tapped in some commands and motion pictures of people and landscapes showed up on the screen. Dry dusty lands, wet lands, fantastic gleaming cities, slums, starving people in rags, skeletal children with swollen bellies, and rich people in expensive clothes and swimwear that wouldn't be out of place on Caprica, Picon or Virgon.

"Compare the region we are in with other regions like Africa and India…." Luke shook his head. "I don't really understand. A world with the kind of space technology we've witnessed should not have such appalling conditions in many of its regions!" He shook his head again. "Like I said, it's a world with technological schizophrenia."

"Or is it a sign of the ruling elite's oppression of the Thirteenth Tribe?" offered Tyberi.

"Those poor people," whispered Jocasta in delicate horror.

"We have some of the same problems in the Colonies," Ursula put in. "So we can't act as if we've never seen this before."

"But the technology we're seeing here," put in Linus, ignoring Ursula's observation. "It's disturbing. In some way, Earth is like Caprica before the Cylon revolted. In some other ways, it further ahead than antebellum Caprica. In still other ways, it's behind, like the examples Luke showed us."

"Are they close to creating their own Cylons?" wondered Silas. "Or have they done it already?"

"We will find out in our year on Earth," decided Ursula. "If they have or are close to it, we will remind them of the wisdom that we've put in the Sacred Scrolls: 'Thou shalt not make a machine in the likeness of a man's mind.'"

Tyberi shook his head in pity for the Terran people. "These people are not like us. Sometimes parents simply do not look like their children. Nevertheless, it is their duty to take care of them and advise them."

"Are these their temples?" Julian asked as images of cathedrals, mosques and temples from all over the world came up in flashes on the screen.

"Likely," said Luke. "As you can see, there are so many different styles. It appears the Terrans like to use so many different styles to honor their so-called One God."

"The One True God is a fantasy," Lucy scoffed.

Elosha countered, "Perhaps. Remember, brothers and sisters, the war of the Blaze on Kobol was caused by a jealous god when he demanded he be placed above and before all other gods. Also, it is written in the Sacred Scrolls that as the Thirteenth Tribe, or rather, the First Tribe, made a stop on the way to Earth, they built a temple, the Temple of Five, in honor of the five priests dedicated to the One Who Must Not be Named. The nameless god and the jealous god must be one and the same. It is clear that this nameless jealous god is the same one being worshipped by the Terrans. Is that not evidence of Kobol and of their being a cousin tribe?"

Nikko said, "That is a topic for another time, sister. We need to know more about the Terrans and their one god. Besides, what they believe is different from what we believe. We know that what we believe is true."

"It is foolish to believe in the literal reality of our own scripture as well," Elosha said. "Or do we really believe that Athena was born whole and armed out of Zeus' head? The myths are metaphors."

Julian nodded and muttered quietly, "I don't want metaphors. I want answers."

Tyberi leaned forward. "Elosha, does it not say in the Sacred Scrolls that when the Thirteenth Tribe arrived on Earth, they built a temple to Aurora?" At her nod, he continued. "If we can find the Temple of Aurora, that will be the evidence we need on Earth to tie these people to us and Kobol and it will be something that they must acknowledge."

"That will definitely be enlightening," she replied. Elosha then took a deep breath. It was time to unload what had been bothering her in the back of her mind throughout this breakfast meeting. "And speaking of Athena, did you watch the news this morning?"

The clerics shook their heads, causing Elosha to frown.

"Wait," said Luke. "Is it this news channel?" With an input command on his e-paper, he brought up the image of the news anchor that Elosha saw earlier this morning. She nodded once.

"Is it about Athena?"

Another nod.

"I can show you the news clip that Elosha was talking about."

"Wait, what, really?" Elosha never realized that she could rewind or retrieve what had been broadcast.

Luke smiled, proud to show off his intellectual prowess. "You can choose a date and a key word, then play whatever video image you want any time." With that, he tapped in some commands. The screen then showed a replay of Senator Camille Wray summoning the detainee into the committee room.

Again, the beautiful blonde in an orange overall, cuffs and chains. Again, the woman raised her head and her eyes glowed brightly for a brief moment. Again, Senator Wray looking smug and saying, "Perhaps you'll recognize Charlotte Mayfield, or rather the Goa'uld inhabiting her, Athena. Mr. Ballard, perhaps we are overly generous, but the National Commission on Extraterrestrial Secrecy will recess for fifteen minutes to give you time to confer with your lawyer on the penalties of perjury to a congressional committee." She banged a gavel on the panel surface. "We're in recess."

Somewhere else, Manuel leaned forward closer than before, while the robotic fly on the wall took in the whole scene. "Now here it comes."

A stunned silence fell upon the dining room. Then whispered mutters of "Gods be good! My gods!" and other such exclamations broke the silence.

Jocasta raised a hand. "Wait a minute. How does this 'internet' really work? Is it anything like the Mesh before the First Cylon War? How do we know this is not fake? I mean, in the old V-world, the Capricans could create whole virtual environments and characters!"

Luke stared at Jocasta, trying to comprehend why she asked the question. In short, his head was full of frak at Jocasta's lame attempt at reasoning away what they had seen.

Lucy rolled her eyes and interjected, "Sister Sparrow, it works like this: When you activate and enter the internet, little aliens see what you wrote and run at the speed of light to a central database and run back with the information that you requested. When your signal is down, it's because the little aliens are on strike. When you end up going into a different website that you didn't want, the aliens have got lost and ended up at the wrong place. The aliens also carry your text messages. Sometimes, they distort them on the way over—you haven't made a typo. It's the aliens being silly."

It was Jocasta's turn to stare, this time at Lucy. Jocasta finally said, "Wow…sarcasm and snark. That's original."

"This…this changes things!" cried Julian out loud.

"No, it doesn't!" argued Ursula and Tyberi at the same time.

Elosha fiddled with her fingers. She was well-versed in both the Sacred Scrolls and in the history of the Thirteen Tribes, but she did not entirely believe in the truth of either. She knew the Sacred Scrolls inside and out. She took them as allegories and lessons about the relationship between people and the gods, or rather the relationship between people and their ideas or concepts of the gods. She had kept those thoughts to herself because she knew that it'd make others of the Faith uncomfortable and cast her in a bad light in the eyes of the Synod.

If Athena was actually an alien in the guise of a beautiful blonde woman…. That would reinforce her personal crisis of faith. But even the senators and observers on the internet believed that thus Athena was a false god, and alien imitation. She needed to know more. It was perhaps fortunate that she was chosen among the twelve missionaries to be sent to Earth and spend a year on the planet. Come what may, she would face it. She murmured softly to herself, "People often claim to hunger for truth, but seldom like the taste when it's served up."

Julian heard her. He chuckled softly as he leaned over towards her. "It is one thing to be clever and another to be wise."

She looked up warily at Julian.

"But I agree," he whispered. "Most people would rather deny a hard truth than face it."

Meanwhile, the other clerics were still clamoring and arguing about the female detainee shown in the news clip.

Tyberi shouted for order and the clerics eventually quieted down. "Brothers and sisters, it's almost time for us to go to the Colonial Embassy and meet with Ambassador Agasha Saltum and his wife Daramia. Now, is there any last comment before we go?"

"There's one thing," put in Luke. "During my searches in the local Mesh, I came across what I think is supposed to be a joke on religion:

The Jew says, "Christians and Muslims are wrong."

The Christian says, "Jews and Muslims are wrong."

The Muslim says, "Jews and Christians are wrong."

The Atheist says, "You're all correct."

The clerics now looked at each other in puzzlement.

"What in the name of the gods does that mean?" said Ursula with frustration. As Elosha had learned earlier that morning and Ursula was now learning, there were things that were outside a person's sphere of experience and knowledge. It would take more than a translator for her and everyone else to understand what Terrans were saying.

Julian ventured to answer, "It might mean that there are either several different religions on Earth or at least several different sects of the same religion on Earth. Kinda like how even in the Colonies, there are other minority beliefs. Like the followers of Mithras on Gemenon, the few worshippers of the Kemetic animal-headed gods on Caprica such as Isis, and the Celtan religion of Asatru on the Virgon moon Hibernia? And that's not even mentioning Monadism."

"Hah!" sneered Lucy, startling some of the other clerics. "Let's not tell that joke to Admiral Atheist!"

"Who?"

"Oh, Julian, don't you know that's the Synod's little pet name for William Adama?"

Some of the clerics rolled their eyes, some others smiled at that, and the rest, including Tyberi, frowned. The chief of the missionaries chided, "I warn you, brothers and sisters, I have little patience for fools."

Ursula arched an eyebrow at that but she refrained from saying anything.

"Once more," added Tyberi, "we are here on Earth to show the example of the Lords of Kobol to these people. Their will is manifest in our presence here. Our mission can only result in the triumph of the divine will."

Lucy nodded enthusiastically. "The way I see it, Father, unless we each conform to the will, unless we obey orders, unless we follow our leaders without question, there is no possible way we can remain free."

Elosha threw a quizzical look at Lucy Ferro. She wondered whether she was being serious.

Next: On to the Embassy