I Will Defy

by Rook837

"You're just another Ionian coward, too weak to stand on you own, but too proud to bow down. I can see it, plain as day, and now... everyone else can too." (Rated M for Intense Violence and Dark Content. Nothing Explicit)

15. Chapter 15

Chapter Fifteen

My reflection looks about as bad as I feel. My long black hair is messy and slightly damp, brushing over my shoulders lightly. I look tired, my eyes empty and cold. Lines mar the pale skin on my face, colored pink like new skin. They look like scars more than anything else, and a few poke out from beneath the hair covering my forehead, giving me a wild but hollow look, like nothing really matters.

I reach my left hand up to my face, softly brushing over the cuts on my cheek. My hand matches the line on my cheeks, the only difference being that my hand is completely covered in soft, pink flesh. I can barely feel my fingertips as they brush over my cheek, and my hand occasionally twitches and shakes. I let my hand drop back to my side, staring at my reflection once again.

All in all, I'm glad I decided to do my run before anyone else woke up. The longer it takes my classmates to see me like this, the better. I had kind of hoped that another shower afterward would heal the wounds, but, not surprisingly, I'm just not that lucky.

I keep staring at the mirror. I know I'm stalling, holding off the inevitable, but that's fine. The second my classmates see me like this, they'll overreact. My allies will freak out and make a big deal out of it, and the Nobles will do the same but with a very different intent. I need to figure out a way to tell them it wasn't that bad.

Memories flash back into my mind, of running through the forest, my heart racing. I remember the pain as pieces of metal slashed through my flesh, of when Sadon disintegrated my hand with his cruel magic, and of him slowly opening up cuts, watching me bleed with a smile on his face.

Suddenly I can't stand anymore, and I have to use the wash counter in front of me to keep myself up. My left hand trembles, and a bead of sweat rolls down my nose. I rub it away, looking back up into my reflection's eyes as I take shaky breaths in and out.

How am I supposed to tell them it wasn't that bad when I don't even believe that?

I gently tap the counter with my fist, clenching my teeth in frustration. Come on. I'm stronger than this. I was even prepared for something like this. I know their true colors. I shouldn't be surprised by this. Besides, it was just pain. He made me hurt without any of the actual damage, so why does it still bother me so much? This shouldn't get to me.

So why is it?

I sigh, turning away from my reflection. More questions, and no answers. That's always how it is though, isn't it? This is no different from before. I just need to keep fighting, and I need to be more careful. I can't afford to let my guard slip. Not again.

I glance over my scarred flesh one last time. I don't remember where I heard it, but the phrase "time heals all wounds" rings through my mind suddenly, and I almost let out a bitter laugh. I hate that phrase. It's a lie. Some things just can't be healed or fixed. Some things just get broken, and that's all there is too it.

My heart starts beating quickly, and I swallow, looking away. It takes me a minute to steady myself, but then I'm good. I leave the bathroom quickly, bracing myself for the lunchroom.

Fairfax is waiting for me outside, and I blink at him. He's stiff and formal, his gaze directed at the wall instead of me. Something's wrong.

"Sadon's taking away your declines," Fairfax says, his voice cold. "And there's nothing I can do to stop him."

I almost fall on the ground as sudden dizziness hits me, my vision blurring, but I manage to just slump against the wall behind me. His words seem odd and foreign, like I understand what he's trying to say, but it just doesn't make sense. How could it? If what he's saying is true, then I don't have a chance of winning my next duel. That can't be right. I must of misheard or-

"This isn't the end," Fairfax says. "But you're going to have to do something. You're going to have to fight back, Aria."

I blink at him, a sick sounding laugh escaping me as I rub my hands over my eyes. Man I'm tired. So tired.

"Just tell me what you qualify as fighting back," I say, letting out a tired sigh. "Because I kind of thought that's what I've been doing this whole time."

"You can't let them beat you before you even step into the arena, Aria," He whispers, so quiet I blink in surprise. "You have to go in there knowing you can beat whoever comes at you."

"Even if it's Jackson?" I ask. "Fairfax, you and I both know I can't win against him. It's just not-"

I stop midway through, my eyes widening in realization. Wait a second. This could work. It's a gamble, but so was my original plan on using my declines. No, this might even be less of a gamble. It might be risky, but If everything I think I know about Noxians is right…

"Aria?" Fairfax asks, and I snap my attention to his concerned look.

"I think I might be able to win," I say, almost breathlessly.

"How?" He asks, raising an eyebrow. "What are you going to do?"

"Nothing," I say, a little smile creeping up my cheeks. "They're going to do it for me."

That really draws a confused look from him, but I see a smile start to creep up on his face too. My heart starts beating, half in fear and half in excitement. I might actually be able to do this. I know them better than they think, and I can use that. I'll have to.

"I just need one thing from you," I say, looking at him seriously.

"Name it."

"I need you to be there watching."

That draws a frown from him.

"Why?"

"Because It'll show them just how trapped I am, and that's when they're going to let me win."

He squints at me, and I see him tap his fingers on his sword hilt thoughtfully before he gives me a nod, turning on his heel and walking away. I do so too, heading towards the lunchroom quickly, a slight bounce in my step. This can work. It has to.

I stop short of the lunchroom as my confidence begins to falter. Something ugly and dark nags at the back of my mind, threatening to undermine my plan. Memories of last night stab at me, trying to make me remember the pain and fear.

I don't let myself. I step forward, my hand trembling as I push on into the lunchroom. If I just ignore it, it didn't happen. I can't let myself be shaken right now.

The lunchroom is noisier than it usually is, but I don't mind. Everyone is too focused on themselves to notice me. It works out well that way. I manage to grab my food and sit down at the table before anyone notices the marks on my face and hand.

The table goes quiet. Well, my table, anyways. Everyone else from the other floors of the academy keep up their discussions. About half hold an identical stack of extra large papers, and they point to thing on it with laughs and jokes. With all the ruckus, I can't make out the exacts of their conversations though. Not that it matters. I have other things to worry about.

"What happened?" Molly hisses from next to me, her eyes wide and searching my face. "My god, your face! Your hand!"

I shrug lightly, flicking my right hand over my food with an effort of will. Blue mist falls over the food, turning green where it lands, and I start eating. The pink marks are very noticeable on my too pale skin, and my left hand looks especially out of place. So much for subtlety.

"I don't want to talk about it," I whisper, my heart beating quickly as the memories from last night start pushing back in.

It was bad. I hadn't realized it last night because I was in too much pain to actually understand what was going on. But now I do. The memories were so sharp in the hallway because there was no pain to blur what was happening. I was tortured for fun and I was helpless to stop it.

I hate that. I can deal with the pain, but the helplessness is what really makes me feel sick. I hate that feeling so much, like I'm weak and can just be thrown away and forgotten at any moment. I jab at my food a few times, mouth curling as I begin to feel nauseous over the realization.

Molly reaches out towards my left hand, as if to rub it softly, but I jerk it away quickly.

"It still hurts a little," I say quickly, looking between her and my food.

"Oh," Molly says, pulling away quickly. "Sorry."

"It's fine," I mumble, keeping my eyes down on the table as I keep eating.

I can feel the others gazes as they glance at each other and then continue eating. Good. A little peace and quiet never hurt anyone. Now if only the rest of the room could take a hint. Maybe then I could enjoy my breakfast in peace.

Someone sits down at the table across from me, and I get a whiff of too strong perfume. I freeze in place, slowly looking up as my heart pounds in my throat.

Elizabeth sits across from me with a pantomimed expression of surprise and concern, holding the same paper the other people in the lunchroom do. I don't recognize it, but it looks like some sort of newspaper or bulletin.

"Oh wow," Elizabeth says, her blue eyes glittering. "I didn't realize this is what you look like without makeup on. No wonder you didn't run with everyone else today."

I ignore her even though my cheeks get hot. I shift my eyes back to my food and try to keep eating, but it's a little hard with her just staring at me with her big grin.

"What do you want, Elizabeth?" Molly asks angrily, and I shift uncomfortably.

Elizabeth shifts her eyes to Molly, the humor draining from her face. "I don't remember talking to you, coward. Go and try to talk your problems out with some else."

Molly stiffens next to me, and I see fire in her eyes. She presses her lips together and says nothing though, but I see Xander and Alex giving Elizabeth death glares, like they're about to say something.

"Anyway," Elizabeth continues nonchalantly, the amusement returning to her voice. "I know you were feeling a little under the weather yesterday, so I thought I'd come over and tell you the news. It's really big, and I wanted to tell you myself."

"What? You finally grew a heart?" Seth asks, not even looking at her.

A few people snicker or atleast smile, including me as she flicks an annoyed glare at Seth that he pointedly ignores. I wish I could be like that. Sure, I was able to be sarcastic and annoying to Sadon last night when he was torturing me, but that was only after I was halfway unconscious. I had nothing else, so I resorted to the only thing I could do to fight back. I used to joke more often and smile more, but… well…

It's a little hard to be funny when you've seen how far people are willing to go to hurt you.

"Anyway," Elizabeth continues, once again pretending like nothing happened. "I just thought you would like to know that Ionia's whining to the League and demanding a rematch against Noxus for their lands. It's only been seven years since the last match though, which means we still have another eight years before we have to put up with your pathetic demands."

I tense up, slowly setting down my fork, but I have nothing to say. I just glare at her angrily.

"You know all of this news is a little old, right?" Xander asks. "Only Summoners get up-to-date news in their special journal. For all you know, things could have changed by now."

Elizabeth laughs at that, brushing away invisible tears from her eyes. "Oh yeah, I'm sure. Oh man, you're really naive, aren't you? I mean, I knew you were bad, but seriously? You can't actually be this stupid, can you? No wonder you got sent away from Zuan."

Xander's face turns red, and Elizabeth smiles as he clenches his fists and opens his mouth.

"Stop," I interrupt, my voice quiet but serious, and everyone looks at me in surprise. "If you want to pick on me then go ahead. Leave them out of this."

"Oh how very noble of you," Elizabeth sneers. "Taking the high road. You Ionians really love to be sacrificial, don't you? I wonder when people are going to realize that you're all just fakes, pretending to be heroes to get attention. You don't know a thing about true sacrifice, do you?"

I look up into her eyes, my breathing picking up as quiet anger surges through me.

Don't. Even. Go. There.

"You know who you remind me of?" Elizabeth pushes, leaning closer with a grin. "That Ionian monk who set himself on fire, like, what, a month ago? What was his name again?"

"Lee Sin," I whisper, staring at her.

"Ah, yes, that's right," Elizabeth says, satisfaction gleaming in her eyes. "Lee sin. The failure of a summoner, burning for his people. Looks like you Ionians really are weak if you have to resort to setting yourselves on fire just to get someone to care."

I notice the lunchroom has subtly gone quiet as Elizabeth's been talking, her voice growing consistently louder and more confident. Only the outer ring of tables is oblivious to our conversation, and they continue talking normally. The Noble's table stares at ours intently though, not even trying to hide their amusement.

"I bet he's using some magic to only make it look like he's on fire," Elizabeth says with a nod. "There's no way someone from a place as weak as this could withstand fire for so long. This disgusting, void forsaken land has nothing to offer. Except to be a breeding ground for giant rats, that is."

A few people snicker, and I feel my right hand begin to shake. I clutch at my knife, my hand quivering with anger. I slowly force my fingers to unclench, and I slide my right hand off the table, gripping my right arm tightly with my left hand. My palms feel sweaty, and my breathing is now audible in the tense silence. I slowly look up at her, and she stares at me, a grin on her face and twinkle in her eyes.

"You just proved my theory right," Elizabeth says. "Ionians are cowards, so this Lee Sin failure must be faking."

"He's not," I whisper back, my voice quivering.

"Oh I'm sorry," Elizabeth says. "I didn't realize you were an expert on fire. Although, I guess those marks on your hand and face do look like burns, but we both know that's not really what happened, don't we?"

Energy begins to build up around me, and I try to stop myself. It rushes through my veins, pulsing with each of my angry heartbeats, and I desperately try to calm myself down.

"I wonder," Elizabeth says softly. "Did you cry when Sadon put you in your place last night?"

She reaches out a hand to brush against my cheek, against the scratch mark there, and I jerk myself away from her just in time so her hand goes through empty air. The power in me begins to condense as I work it into a spell, one simple but violent enough to throw Elizabeth across the lunchroom and away from me before she can have time to register anything.

Just before I'm about to put the final will in to create the spell into reality, I see the Nobles at the table behind her. They look excited but gleeful, like they're waiting for something to happen.

I let my power drain away, and my anger fades as I realize what they're doing. I'm down to my last point, and even if I haven't told anyone, they obviously know it. Elizabeth gave that away when she mentioned Sadon hurting me. They're trying to get me to attack Elizabeth so I lose my last point, and I'm gone without even getting to put up a fight.

And I almost fell for it. I almost let my anger win. Again.

I don't feel angry anymore, just exhausted of from all the games, and I slump in my seat, still leaning back from Elizabeth's outstretched hand.

"Don't touch me," I whisper quietly, sounding more tired than anything else.

"What?" Elizabeth laugh, pulling her hand back. "Afraid you'll get infected by my Noxian germs or something?"

"No. I'm afraid the blood on your hands might stain my uniform."

The tension in the lunchroom reaches a whole new level, and dead silence falls on everyone close enough to hear what I said. Elizabeth twitches slightly, something dark and ugly shifting behind her normally calm blue eyes.

"Excuse me?" She asks, her smiling face as sharp and fragile as glass.

"You heard me," I say, picking up my fork and beginning to eat again. "You want to pretend Noxus hasn't been murdering and stealing from us for the past fourteen years, that's fine. Just don't make fun of someone who's stronger and more honorable than you will ever be."

Her guise shatters, and she slams her hands on the table as she rises to her feet, her breathing strong.

"Do you really think it's a good idea to test my patience," She asks, spitting the words from between clenched teeth. "When you're down to your last point?"

I look up from my food simply, doing my best to keep my face passive and unimpressed as a shiver snakes its way down my spine.

"Why?" I ask bluntly. "Are you going to beat me up now? I thought that wasn't supposed to happen until later."

She just glares at me, and I forcefully look back down at my food.

"I'm not scared of you," I lie, poking at my rice like I'm bored. "So why don't you go and sit back down at your table with the few friends you do have."

I hear her storm away, and the tension palpably lessons as she leaves. The rest of the lunchroom goes back to talking to each other, but their conversations seem more quiet and subdued than before. Everyone at my table has a different reaction though. They all smile and chuckle, trying their best to be subtle and hide it.

It's good to know I can still have my moments every once and awhile.

"Void, Aria," Xander laughs, admiration seeping into his voice. "I mean, that comeback though. You really don't pull your punches, do you?"

I just shrug, and flick my hand over my food again, letting the blue mist fall for a second time to make sure she didn't slip in any poison while she was over. It glows green, so I dig into my food, trying to enjoy the taste of the rice and chicken.

"Is it true?" Molly asks worriedly. "What she said about you being on your last point?"

I don't have the heart to say anything, so I just nod. The smiles fade, and a somber mood falls on our table.

"Bloody stars," Xander curses.

"How…?" Alex begins to ask, but he breaks off the question, shaking his head in disgust.

I keep on eating my food. It tastes bland and dry in my mouth. Not bad, just… bland. Huh. So this is what a last meal tastes like. No, I can't think like that. I shake my head, trying my best to dispel the thoughts. I have a plan, and it can work. Will work.

"There's got to be something we can do," Xander whispers, leaning in close to the table.

"There isn't," Alex says looking down, his long hair shrouding his face.

"What if one of us challenged her?" Xander asks, his voice sounding desperate. "And then we just surrendered? Couldn't that work?"

"No," I say back quickly, surprising him. "If you surrender at the start of the duel, or if anyone even thinks you threw the fight on purpose, they can challenge your honor, and that's in the normal world. Here, who knows would they might do to you. Sadon would punish you and I'm guessing he'd make me duel someone else."

"So there's nothing we can do?" Xander asks in dismay. "You're just going to get sent away, just like that?"

"Well, gee, thanks for the vote of confidence," I shoot back, stabbing at my food. "I didn't realize me winning a duel was so hopeless."

Xander flinches away at my biting words, and guilt slams into me. It's easy to ignore it though, between the anger and fear. What, does Xander think I haven't been worrying about this since the moment I walked into the academy? That I haven't tried thinking of a contingency plan?

"Are we doing anything today?" I ask, setting down my fork.

"No," Molly answers softly. "This is the last day of Phase Two. Fairfax told us to focus on training for our duels tonight."

"I guess I'll see you guys tonight then," I say, getting up with my food tray and walking away.

I dump the remaining food and stack the tray on the other dirty ones, doing my best not to look at Caleb, and he takes the hint and leaves me alone. I finish putting my things away, and then I turn and walk hurriedly back to my room, walking down the stairs and through the hallway swiftly.

I can still see their faces in my mind. The hurt looks. The frustration. The anger. They want to help me, but they can't. They feel like they have power to help me, but they don't.

That's the worst part, really. We train together, we laugh together, and we even eat together. But in the end, when it really matters, we're alone

This academy is all kinds of screwed up.

"Aria!" Someone shouts as I reach for my room's doorknob, and I turn to see Alex jogging towards me.

He doesn't look like he usually does. I guess I'm used to seeing him smile or something, but right now, he just looks completely emotionless. His face is pale, and his mouth is pressed into a thin line. He stops in front of me, looking around nervously and fiddling with his fingers.

"Do you at least have a plan? I mean you have to, right?" He asks finally.

"No," I lie, shifting uncomfortably. "But I'm sure I'll come up with something. I'll have to. Maybe I can just go on the defensive or something."

Alex winces, looking away from me, and I squint at him. He bites his lip, tapping his foot against the floor a few times before he looks back.

"Aren't you angry about this? About what they're doing?" He asks, his voice rough.

I frown. What's that supposed to mean?

"I guess," I say slowly.

"So why don't you use that?" Alex asks, his eyes fierce. "They want you to play defensive, but if you use your anger against them, you can beat them! Just let it fuel you and make you stronger! They won't expect it from you!"

I look away from Alex. This is just another difference between us. I know he means well, but I just don't think like that. He's been taught that anger can be used as a tool, but I've been taught my whole life to control my anger and keep it away, that it's an all consuming, destructive force.

"Maybe you're right," I whisper, not quite lying. "I'll think about it."

"That's all I ask," Alex says, letting out a sigh as he smiles. "You're stronger than them. I know it, and you know it too. You just have to let yourself give everything, alright?"

I nod, and he smiles, seemingly relieved. He reaches out a hand to pat my shoulder softly, but he seems to rethink the motion halfway through. He turns the motion into a tap of his fist against his leg, giving me another quick smile before he turns and walks away.

I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding, untensing my body slowly. I just look down the hallway a few moments after he leaves.

He's trying to help me the only way he knows how. Maybe I should think that's sweet, but I just feel sad. I don't want to be angry, but I also don't want to be in pain. The bad thing is, if I have to chose between the two, I know which I would pick in a heartbeat. I've made that choice before. I know where it leads.

And I don't want to ever go down that path again.

I open my door, and walk through, hoping that it doesn't come down to choosing between the two.

It's warm outside. The sun shines on, oblivious to it all. The crowd around the arena is louder than usual. They know. They can smell the blood a mile away.

"Before we begin," Sadon says, stopping his walk in front of me. "There is one last thing we have to cover. Today is the last day of Phase Two. As such, there will be no declines available today."

I try my best to look surprised, widening my eyes and opening my mouth in a breathless gasp. My left hand starts shaking on it's own, no faking involved.

"Better put up a good fight," He whispers. "Fairfax is watching."

Then he steps back, still smiling, and nods to the rest of us.

"Begin your challenges."

Here it comes. The big risk.

Noxians. When it comes down to it, the one thing that drives them above everything else isn't honor or power but pride. They'll do anything for pride. Based on that alone, the person who challenges me can't possibly be Jackson. It has to either be Edward, Elizabeth, or Cody. Those are the only ones whose pride I've personally hurt. Which means I can win. I just have to figure out which one it's going to be.

Elizabeth already got back at me slightly with the weapons duel while I was poisoned. The same goes for Edward during the hand-to-hand duel. Which means I'll be up against Cody.

He's comparatively short for a guy, only as tall as me and is only slightly muscled. He's fast, but I think I might have the edge in speed. He has a lot of useless motions in his style that make his moves look cooler, but he sacrifices some of his predictability and power for his form. That alone points to me beating him, but that's not all I have ready.

Alex gave me the idea. The more I thought about anger, the more I realized it's not what I thought it was. If anger is controlled, it can be used as a tool, but too much will consume you. It's all about a person's innate amount of control and discipline, their stability so to speak, and Cody is about as stable as a Zuanite corrosive charge.

All I have to do is push him. I need to push his anger and fuel it until he loses focus. The only problem is that I might only give him more rage to use against me if he doesn't lose control. It's a risk I'm going to have to take though, and I've had more than enough time to prepare insults and taunts to drive him beyond his normal rage.

I'm ready for him.

"I challenge Aria!" A voice shouts firmly before anyone else, and time stops.

I look over to my right very, very slowly. My allies stand there, also looking at one person in absolute astonishment. I see him clearly as he looks at me, a big smile painted on his face. Short black hair. Tall and thin, but wired with muscle like a soldier. Brown eyes as dull as steel.

Seth stares right into my eyes, and everything seems to stop. My heart. My Shaking. Even my frantic thoughts. It all stops as I stare at Seth, into the eyes of a demon.

"What the void is wrong with you?" Alex shouts pushing Seth from behind.

Seth recovers, whirling to face Alex with a grin still on his face. Alex stands with his hands clenched into fists, and his eyes wild. He breathes heavily, shaking in pure rage as he stares him down.

"Oh come on Alex," Seth laughs, holding his hands out. "You gotta give me atleast a little credit? I mean, it has a certain amount of symmetry, don't you think? You let the girl I liked get taken away from me, so I take the girl you like away from you."

"You're insane!" Alex shouts, spittle flying from his mouth. "You're friends with her too! How can you do this to her?"

"Oh please," Seth rolls his eyes. "Stop being so dramatic. This is just a little good-old-fashioned revenge. It's nothing persona- oh wait. I guess it kind of is. Besides, I have more than enough friends. Why would I need to be friends with a weak little Ionian girl like her?"

Alex takes a step forward, raising a fist to punch him, but Devon grabs his arm and holds him back, shaking his head slowly. Alex gives him a look, like he's going to fight to break free, but Xander also steps forward and puts a hand on Alex's shoulder, shaking his head slowly. He looks absolutely nauseous, like he's going to puke.

With everyone's attention focused on Alex, no one notices Molly until it's too late.

She slaps him. Hard. His head jerks to the side from the blow, and Molly stands in front of him, her shoulders shaking.

"I trusted you," Molly whispers, and I can hear the tears in her voice. "You traitor."

Seth slowly looks back to Molly, his lip split and bleeding slightly. Then he just smiles frostily at her, looking down into her eyes with contempt.

"I don't see how that's my fault," he whispers back. "Coward."

Molly turns her back and stalks away quickly, shaking the whole way. Small drops of water fall from her bowed face onto the ground as she goes, and I watch her in frozen stillness. She doesn't look back.

"This is going to be even better than I thought," Sadon murmurs, his eyes flashing in excitement. "Alright, then. If everyone's done with the drama, lets get to the duel, shall we?"

I don't consciously make the effort to move, but I suddenly find myself walking forward, onto the platform and across to the far side. Everything seems far away, like I'm numb or something. Nothing feels real except for my heartbeat.

Thump-thump.

This can't be happening. It was supposed to be Cody.

Thump-thump.

It's slower than it should be. I mean, I should be scared, so why isn't my heart racing?

Thump-thump.

I reach the far end and turn to face Seth as the invisible barrier rises around us in a brief flash of energy. He stands with his arms wide and face lifted to the sky, taking in a deep breath like he's enjoying it all.

Thump-thump.

"Why?" I ask softly, tilting my head in confusion.

He slowly looks back down at me, his dark eyes still cold and unyielding.

"Because," He murmurs, just loud enough for me to hear through the crowd's noise. "I've been waiting a long time for my revenge on Alex, and you're the opportunity I've been waiting for. I need this. It's nothing against you, it's just when it comes down to it, I'd rather throw away my friendship with you then keep on letting Alex walk happily, and you're the only one I can take away from him that I know he'll miss."

"Oh," I manage to say, my stomach knotting up.

Thump-thump.

The countdown starts, but I barely hear it. I only see Seth standing in front of me, images of all the times I've talked to him blurring my vision. Like the time he put my shoulder back into place, or when he tried to convince me Alex was the one I should stay away from.

It was all a lie. He just wanted to alienate me from Alex to hurt him. It was never about me, at all.

"And what makes you think that me not wanting him near you has anything to do with just my personal past with him?

Wait.

Thump-thump.

"It is personal," I say in quiet revelation, and the smile slips from Seth's face. "You're jealous. That I'm better friends with him than you. That I like him better. You don't want to just get back at him, you want to get back at me."

He doesn't say anything. He doesn't have to. His face says it all. The anger and jealousy flicker in his eyes and the corners of his mouth.

Thump-thump.

The countdown ends. Seth starts walking towards me quickly, glaring at me the whole way with a thin smile.

"I'm going to enjoy this," He laughs. "You both hurt me, and now I get to hurt the both of you. Two birds with one stone."

I start stepping backwards from him as he raises his hands into a relaxed fighting pose, and I see a thin smile light up his face. My mind races as I try to think of something, anything that can help me, but I just keep coming back to the fact that Seth has betrayed me. The worst part is the shock, the fact that I didn't see it coming at all…

Wait.

Why am I so surprised?

Every second of every day, I've made sure to distance myself from my allies. While they joked and talked about their lives, I just listened and smiled along. When they trained together, I quietly observed their techniques and then went away to train on my own. I haven't once acted like they couldn't turn on me at any moment.

My entire time at this academy, I've pulled away from everyone trying to reach out to me and kept myself isolated. I may have had a few moments with some of the people here, but I've never once let myself actually trust any of them. I shouldn't be surprised at all by Seth's betrayal.

No, I'm not surprised, but that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt. I wanted to believe they were my friends, that I could trust them if I really wanted to, but this just proves once again that Noxians are only in it for themselves when it comes down to it. I was right. I really am alone here.

The back of my left foot hits the barrier, but that's okay. I'm ready now. I raise my hands into a fighting pose, and let my eyes focus on the enemy in front of me.

Seth the soldier. Every fight and action he does is thoroughly disciplined, like he was born into the military. He fights with quick, jerky motions that forsake form and beauty in favor of speed and strength, almost completely opposite of Cody. The problem with his style is that he has no flexibility with his attack patterns, each one is the same. If I can block his first attack, I should be able to figure out where the next few punches or kicks will be placed and counter him easily.

Seth stops just out of reach of me, his eyes flickering as he looks me over, and I let a sad, calm little smile grow on my face.

"Well, void," He murmurs, the corner of his mouth twitching up. "I thought as much."

"What?" I ask halfheartedly, trying to keep my eyes on his body for the slightest hint of a move.

"I always thought you were distant," Seth says with a microscopic shrug. "You know, that you were pulling back from everyone, almost like you didn't trust any of us. I bet no one else noticed it, the fact that you were always tensed up to fight any of us at a moment's notice, but I did. I was hoping I was wrong and that you did actually consider us friends so I would have the element of surprise, but looks like that plan is gone now."

I feel something click into place, and I open my mouth before I can even register what it is exactly.

"How could I be friends with any of you after everything you've done? You Noxians always seem to think us Ionians are clueless and innocent, but we've seen what you do when you think no one's looking. To us. To your own friends and family. Nothing can make me forget that. So go find someone else to waste your cheap words and tricks on."

My words ring out, quiet but fierce, and I see Seth hesitate, his eyes flickering briefly as he pulls into a slightly more defensive stance. Then he moves in on me, punching at my head with his right hand while he steps forward.

I pull back my head and manage to dodge it by almost nothing, and I barely have time to register his motions as his left hand slams into my stomach, taking the breath from me as pain sings out through my body. I realize just too late that there is one more attack in his pattern, and my hands just miss catching his right arm's elbow as he jabs it into my face.

My nose gives a soft squishing sound as he hits, and I stumble backwards as I breathe in air and sputter out blood. My back hits the barrier, and Seth makes his move, grabbing me by my jacket and throwing me away from the barrier to the floor.

I fall on my hands and knees and roll away just as his foot stomps down where my back would have been a moment before. I manage to roll up onto my feet just in time to dodge from a kick that would have taken my breath away once again. Seth lands on the leg he kicked with and uses it to do a sweeping kick with his other at my head that I duck under quickly.

I try to straighten myself before his next attack comes, but my legs buckle underneath me in fatigue, and Seth takes advantage, slamming the heel of his hand into my stomach.

I let out a short gasp of pain as I stumble backwards, and Seth moves in, throwing a flurry of quick punches at me. I use my forearms to block most of them, but they all land with enough force to force me backwards. I try to escape the attacks by dodging past him, but Seth reaches out with his foot, tripping me.

I fall on my hands and knees, and I scramble back to my feet, trying to get away from him. Seth wraps an arm around my neck from behind me just as I get up though, and he locks his grip into place with his other arm, slowly putting pressure on my windpipe with the crook of his arm. My head slowly starts pounding as my vision blurs slightly, and I try to pull his arm away to no avail.

"Is this really it?" Seth whispers in my ear, sounding amused. "Come on now, you're holding back on me. Show me what you've got. Come on."

"I'm not holding back," I manage to spit out, struggling to free myself. "I'm just waiting for the right moment."

"What's that supposed to mean?" He asks, loosening his grip just enough to let me suck in another gasp of air and speak.

"Your moves are predictable," I say, a fierce smile beginning to form. "You always try to end by choking out your opponent."

"So what?" Seth asks, beginning to squeeze tighter.

Instead of answering, I simply take a step backwards, forcing him to do the same to maintain his leverage. As he shifts his weight, I bend my head forward as far as I can, and then I slam it backwards into his face as he tried to pull me close.

Something crunches, and his grip weakens, so I jab my left elbow into his stomach as hard as I can. I feel the attack connect, and I take a few sprinting steps away before twisting to face him, arms raised in my martial arts posture.

Seth slowly straightens from where he's hunched over, blood smearing his nose and mouth, and I see a flash of anger in his eyes. My throat burns slightly and my legs shake, but I'm still in it, so I give him a wolfish smile.

"So," I gasp, drinking in the air thirstily. "It means I've had time to think of some counters."

Seth stares at me for a minute, and then he smiles and begins to laugh loudly, wiping away his blood with a sleeve.

"This changes nothing," he laughs, shaking his head. "Because you can't beat me. Look at you. You can barely stand. You can't win now. So I'll make you a deal. Give up right now, and I'll personally go tell your family what happened to you."

My eyes widen, and he slowly starts inching towards me, his eyes once again fierce.

"What?" He laughs with a wolfish smile. "You and I both know what's going to happen to you when you fail out of this academy. So, if you surrender and beg me for mercy right now, I promise I'll bring your corpse to your family"

My breathing starts to pick up as my imagination treats me to pictures of my brothers and mother watching Seth throw a body bag onto our doorstep, smiling the whole time.

"I wonder what their eyes will look like?" He whispers, his bloody face turning his smile gruesome. "When they see your body. I bet they thought you could actually make it here, didn't they? That you could survive? I wonder if they'll cry. Maybe if I'm lucky, they'll even try to attack me right there on the spot. Killing them should be a nice little treat."

Something inside of me snaps.

He could have threatened me, and I wouldn't have blinked. I've faced more than he could ever know.

He could have threatened my allies at the academy, and I would have laughed. He's proved that none of them are truly on my side.

He could have threatened other Ionians, and I would have sneered. His people have been killing mine long before I was born, and I'm sure they'll continue long after.

But he didn't do any of those things.

He threatened my family.

No matter how angry I am at them right now, they're still my family.

Anger, pure and hot bubbles in my blood, and I clench my hands into fists, my muscles tightening up. My heart starts beating with a different swiftness, spreading a fire through me that burns away the fear and exhaustion. The anger makes my senses feel sharp like a katana's edge, keen and ready to slice through the air itself. I feel stronger, somehow, and my aches and pains feel far away, like they don't matter.

Maybe Alex was right. I can use this, I know that now. I won't let it control me, not this time. As long as I keep myself focused, and my anger under control, I won't become like a Noxian, but I can still win.

I have to.

My eyes flicker to behind Seth, and I notice Alex staring at me in dismay. I meet his eyes, and I give him a very slow nod. His eyes widen, and I turn back to Seth. I take in a deep breath, steadying breath, focusing my mind and anger as I do so. It changes from something blazing to and sharp, cutting iciness that freezes my veins and wards of the warmth of the sun, refreshing me.

This is the true face of Noxus, and it's high time I showed just what I think about them.

I sprint at Seth, willing myself to move faster than I ever have before. Wind whips my hair back as I move towards him, closing the relatively small remaining distance in seconds. I have time to register a flash of surprise in his eyes before I reach him.

He tries to punch me with a hard right jab, but I twitch my head to my right so it just brushes past me. I raise my left knee as hard as I can, slamming it into his stomach with all my built up momentum.

My knee takes the air from him, and he doubles over in pain, letting out a gasp of surprise. I grab onto the back of his workout jacket, pull my left knee back, and then I slam it into him again, pulling him down towards my incoming knee as I do. I hit him again, and he lets out a breathless cry of pain.

I scream, and do it again and again and again. I start lifting him off the ground with my upward knee jabs, each one slamming into him harder and harder. After about six or seven he manages to grab onto my knee and hold it to his stomach as he gasps for breath, little flecks of blood spraying with each exhale.

I don't give him a chance to recover. I raise my right elbow, and slam it down onto his back. He buckles, his fingers slipping on the soft cloth of my workout pants, but he manages to hold on, so I hit him again.

And again.

And I keep on doing it, even when pain starts to jolt through my elbow from hitting him so many times. He still stays up though, groaning under each hit. I grab his jacket with my left hand and jump with my right leg, pulling on his jacket to keep my balance as I use him to push myself into the air.

Then I slam my elbow down into his back with all the falling weight I can leverage.

He crumples under the blow, dropping to the ground, and I stumble away from him, barely keeping my balance.

He slaps at the ground feebly, getting onto his hands his hands and knees. For a moment, I let him recover, but then he turns to me, his eyes flickering with rage, and he spits on the ground at me.

So I kick his face.

He falls onto his back, blood arching from his mouth. He blinks a few times before he rolls away, using the momentum to rise to his feet shakily. He faces me, raising his fists into his usual fighting position, but I see him stumble woozily, so I run at him.

He tries a sloppy punch, but I duck under it and slam the heel of my hand into his stomach.

He stumbles backwards, blinking a few times before he falls to his knees and throws up onto the ground. I let him finish and stand back up before I go at him again, dodging past a weak flurry of attacks before I punch him in the jaw.

He stumbles backwards, and tries to retaliate, throwing a heavy punch with a snarl of his bloody teeth.

I dodge, and then I make him hurt, kicking the back of his knee as he goes past me. He falls to the ground, turning to face me just as my next kick aimed at his head connects, jerking his head viciously to the side as he falls onto the ground.

He doesn't get back up. He just lays there, groaning in pain, spitting out sticky blood as he takes in shallow, shaking breaths. His eyes are unfocused, and I'm kind of surprised he's still awake. The knee strikes to his stomach were strong enough by themselves to bruise his organs, and that's not even counting the elbows I slammed into his back right afterwards.

I didn't break any of his bones, just his nose. Aiming for soft tissue and organs causes more pain and is more effective anyway, especially for someone skinny but quick like me.

I turn my back to him and walk away. I want to beat him unconscious, but I know I shouldn't. I've already won, and leaving him like this is going to hurt his pride and honor more than anything else I could do. I don't need to lower myself to his level to prove anything. I won, and he lost, it's that simple.

I reach the barrier just as it goes down, and I blink, suddenly aware of the noise around me. The crowd roars in approval of the fight, and as I look around, I see that most are on their feet clapping and shouting approval, including Fairfax.

I give him a grim little nod before I jump off the platform, walking towards my supposed allies. Molly gives me her jacket, gesturing to my nose, and I accept it gratefully, pushing it to my face. Devon looks stoic as always, and Alex looks relieved, letting out a slight little laugh and shaking his head. Xander looks disturbed though, and he stands there slowly clenching and unclenching his fists.

"You okay?" Molly asks, her blue eyes soft.

"Yeah," I say, my voice muffled by her jacket. "I don't think my nose is broken, just bloody."

"That's not what I was asking," She whispers, and I see her lip quiver.

I look away from her.

"I know."

Seth finally reaches us then, having only just peeled himself from the ground of the arena, and he sits on the side of the Nobles, his eyes hazy. None of the Nobles look particularly happy to see him, but I see begrudging looks of understanding.

Hmph. They don't like that he lost, but they understand that he had to try and get his revenge. How very understanding of them. They should get a medal or something.

"Well, well, well," Sadon murmurs, stepping in front of us suddenly. "You're just full of surprises, aren't you?"

I almost blurt out sorry to disappoint you, but I just push Molly's jacket against my face harder until my nose throbs with slight pain.

"No matter," Sadon sighs. "I'm sure your time will come eventually. Until then, lets move on to the next duels, shall we?"

The duels continue as I recover on the grass. I try to focus and watch, but something keeps on nagging at the back of my mind. Something just doesn't feel right, like the duel was off somehow.

I glance over at Seth, only to find him already looking at me. Our eyes meet for a brief moment, and then they shift away, his head lowering.

My breath catches in my throat.

I've seen Seth battle a countless number of times. Every fight I've ever seen of him, he's always been quiet and stoic, concentrating on fighting instead of trash talking. So why was he suddenly so different when he fought against me? Not only that, but he's also really good at grappling with people, so how did someone like me manage to escape so easily?

My mind races at the possible implications, but I just can't seem to figure it out. Am I just overthinking this or is something else going on?

The duels end before I can find an answer, and so I drop it as I walk with everyone back into the academy. I need to focus on who my next opponent might be. Technically, it could be almost anyone, but I'd still guess Cody would take his chance to challenge me now that I have no declines. That, or Jackson will try to beat me again.

We enter the training room after we pick up our weapons, and Dumont and Fairfax are both there waiting for us. Fairfax gives us a nod and steps back, opening the floor to challenges. Before any of us can speak though, there's a sudden shout, and Seth is shoved to the floor in front of us, landing on his hands and knees with a snarl.

"You idiot!" A shrill voice shouts. "The plan was perfect! But no, you just had to go and ruin it!"

People move out of the way, and one figure strides forward. I feel my heart sputter in sudden surprise, and then suddenly explode in pain as the last piece of the puzzle clicks in.

Xander stands apart from everyone else, looking down at Seth in anger. He looks especially bad considering he just lost his duel, and his uniform is stained with sweat and blood. Seth looks surprised at Xander's outrage at first, but then he looks away with a grimace.

"I guess if you want a job done right, you just got to do it yourself, huh?" Xander says, shaking his head. "Alright then. I challenge Aria."

There's a sudden stillness in the room, and I hear a groan from Molly as she leans back against the wall, tears streaming from her shocked eyes.

"X-Xander?" She says, confused. "I-I don't understand. W-what's h-happening?"

Xander lets out a sigh, turning with a cold expression to Molly, his green eyes narrowed.

"Isn't it obvious?" Xander asks, shrugging slightly. "What? You thought Seth came up with this plan to get his revenge all by himself? That a Noxian came up with such an elaborate ruse to get revenge? No. He needed a mastermind. He needed a Zuanite."

"W-why?" Molly shouts, clutching her hands to her heart. "Why would you want to hurt Aria? What did she ever do to you?"

"She destroyed my life!"

Stillness settles into everyone as Xander stands there, seething. No, that's not the word. Numbness is. I know I should feel something, maybe anger or betrayal at another ally turning their back on me, but I don't. I just feel numb.

Xander looks away, clenching and unclenching his hands before looking back at us, looking more composed now.

"Do you remember what I told you the reason I got sent here was?" Xander asks, his voice quiet.

"You messed up an experiment," Alex says shakily, stepping forward from beside Molly. "You tried to use magic to accelerate it's process."

"I lied," Xander says, his voice suddenly dry. "I wasn't a scientist or an apprentice or whatever. Actually, I wasn't anything. Do you know why? Because of my parents. They were good people with morals, whatever those are. They worked in a factory, slaving away to create Zuanite munitions. That is, they did until they heard what Noxus was doing with them."

He walks slowly to one of the chairs, running his finger along it almost thoughtfully.

"We've all heard the stories," Xander says, lips curling in disgust. "Of Zuanite artillery being fired indiscriminately on Ionian civilians and even on some of Noxus's own troops. Well, my wonderful parents couldn't take it anymore, that they might be creating weapons that were killing so many innocents, so they sabotaged the factory they were working at, and they blew it up. The thought they were doing the right thing."

"I bet you can't guess how that turned out," Xander laughs, shaking his head. "Long story short, it ended with me scavenging on the streets of Zuan just trying to find leftovers to feed myself. My parents tried to petition Ionia for asylum, but they denied their request every single time. So, I watched as my father was beat to death. I watched my mother wither away from plague and die. That left me alone on the streets as just a child. We were forsaken. But it's okay, right? Because they did the right thing, didn't they?"

Xander slowly walks up to Molly, folding his arms together.

"I'm only alive because I was smarter than the other scavengers," Xander says, his voice trembling. "The only reason I came here was to escape that void forsaken city. So when I saw that I had a chance to get back at one of the people who made my life fall apart, who could have saved my family, I took it. Seth just wanted his petty vengeance on Alex, but as long as I got the Ionian out of this academy, I was more than happy to help. That's why, and I won't apologize to anyone for what I've done, because unlike my parents, I know that I'm doing the right thing."

Xander turns away, stalking to his chair and sitting in it, closing his eyes. Everyone looks shocked, and I find myself moving forward in the stillness, sitting down in the opposite chair from Xander. Everything feels far away, like none of this is real, so I just close my eyes and prepare the spell, clutching my sword tight to my chest the whole time.

When I open my eyes, I'm in the clearing with Xander, and I stare at him from where I stand, watching him wave his chainsword around in intricate patterns. He smiles at me as the countdown starts, but I see his eyes flicker around briefly. Droplets of sweat have already formed on his head even though the temperature here isn't especially hot, and I see him swallow, taking a deep, shuddering breath as the countdown finishes.

I frown. That's odd. For all his talk and eagerness a few moments ago, he seems nervous to be facing me. Something's not right about this.

He charges at me before I can put any more thought into it, swinging his sword in a wild, overhead arc. I deftly parry the blow with a sweep of my blade, shifting to the side to let him pass. He stumbles by me, turning quickly and swinging right at my head. I duck underneath it, stepping back as he turns the slash into another hacking motion.

His moves are sluggish and untrained, and it's painfully obvious he doesn't have much experience sword fighting. If I wanted to, I could have cut him half-a-dozen times by now just on counterattacks, but something holds me back. So I just block and dodge his attacks, parrying his sword and taking the occasional quick step to the left or right.

His face contorts with anger, and he starts shouting with each of his swings. It looks like he's getting more angry, but his eyes look completely opposite. They look worried, panicked even. Something's very wrong.

I block his next overhand swing with my sword, stopping his blade above my head by holding my sword sideways and pushing on the spine of my katana with my left hand to keep it locked in place. I see him growl in frustration and lean in closer to me.

"Why won't you fight back?" He sneers. "You scared or something?"

I open my mouth to respond, but I suddenly stop myself. Nothing about this situation feels right to me. It's not about his betrayal either, it's about how he's choosing to act. He's always been logical, and he must know that he can't take me on in a duel with swords.

Why would someone smart enough to get someone kicked out of an academy without having to lift a finger suddenly choose to take matters into his own hands?

Why would Seth, who has defeated people in grapples countless times before, lose when he grabbed on to his opponent not once, but twice? He had me in a chokehold, and he grabbed my leg later on. Why didn't he take me out or at least throw me before I elbowed him in the back so many times?

It just doesn't make sense.

"Come on," Xander says desperately, his eyes flashing in panic. "Fight me!"

I almost lose hold of my sword in complete shock as realization hits me, and I fall to one knee as Xander takes advantage and pushes his sword further down towards me, his blade inching towards my shoulder.

"Xander," I hiss, my eyes widening in horror. "What are you doing?"

"What needs to be done," Xander spits out, trying his best to look bloodthirsty, but one eye blinks in the faintest of winks, confirming my suspicions.

Seth, the normally silent soldier, taunted me until I was filled with rage to make my comeback in the duel look believable, like his grip on my let slipped because of pure luck. Only after he pushed me to my limit did he finally stop fighting at his best, making it look like my rage carried me through, something any Noxian would believe.

Xander, the Zuanite who set up his own lab and created his own weapon, used his intelligence to see through Seth's lies like only an outsider could, and caught on to his plan. That's why Seth looked so surprised when Xander pushed him and continued with his outburst. Seth hadn't told anyone his plan because it was too dangerous, but Xander decided to join in once he figured it out.

I told them at breakfast that if anyone even had the faintest suspicion that the duels were thrown, they would be punished, and I would just end up fighting another person.

So Seth decided to make the duel seem so real that everyone would think it was the real thing. That meant that even I had to think it was the real thing.

Seth decided to risk being punished, possibly even being thrown out of the academy, and put his plan into action. Xander figured it out, and he jumped on in a heartbeat. Not only that, but neither of them could possibly have known for certain that I would have believed them afterward when they told me they were actually trying to help me.

Something inside me screams that I might be making a mistake, that maybe I'm just being naive and hopeful, trying to wish allies into creation that I could never have, but then Xander pushes his blade harder, leaning in closer.

"You remember what you said at breakfast to us, right?" Xander whispers, doubt wavering in his voice.

Tears burst from my eyes, and my chin starts shaking as I give him a quick nod, a sudden warmth blossoming in my chest. I knew it. They didn't betray me. They're still on my side.

I'm not alone here after all.

"Well," Xander continues, still whispering. "I decided to take it to heart. I can't speak for Seth, but I think he feels the same way."

His words are vague enough that anyone outside of our breakfast table wouldn't get their true meaning, and I decide to play along. I let out a scream, pushing Xander's blade away with my sword, and then I get on my feet and charge forward, hacking away at him.

Xander blinks in surprise at my fury, but he must see the fierce smile I fight to keep off my face, because he smiles back at me before defending, blocking my purposefully slow and clumsy vertical attacks over and over again.

He tries a counter slash, and I see it coming a mile away. I decide to dodge it at the last second, making it look my foot slipped on the dirt of the clearing.

His sword just barely cuts into my side, leaving a thin, burning crimson line where it cuts into my stomach. I let out a gasp of faked pain, and dodge away from him, breaking our bout.

I slowly reach my left hand through the cut in my uniform made by Xander's blade and press it hard into the wound, grimacing at the extra pain I'm causing myself. I pull my hand away red, and I grab onto my hilt shakily, breathing heavily.

Xander's eyes are wide with horror, and he opens his mouth to speak but closes it again when he see's my eyes. I give him a quick nod and slowly smile at him.

"I'm going to make you pay for that," I say, trying to keep the laughter from my voice at using such a fake line.

"I'd like to see you try," Xander shoots back, his eyes flashing.

We launch into another round of combat, all clumsy strikes, last second dodges, and dodges just too slow. It lasts for what seems like forever, and it must look impressive to anyone watching with all the sparks flying and the occasional mechanical screech of Xander's chainsword. By the end of it, we're both gasping for breath and have an array of slight cuts on ourselves. They all look bad, but considering we've been dueling for about seven minutes straight, it's no surprise how much they're bleeding.

The whole time warmth and joy have been flowing through me, making my heart soar and muscles sing out with every swing. I can't believe what Xander and Seth have done for me. They risked their places at their academies, our 'friendship', and even possibly their lives for me.

Maybe their are people here I can call my friend. I don't know about trusting them, but maybe, just maybe I could call them friend. I'll still be ready for a betrayal at any moment, but that doesn't mean I can't start at least trying to enjoy myself here. Even if they are just pretending to be my friends, that doesn't make our experiences any less real, does it?

Xander's eyes meet mine, and I give him a nod. We're both covered in sweat and shaking with fatigue. It's time to end this.

Xander lets out a roar, running at me and raising his sword high above his head. His grip looks weak, and so I charge at him too, slashing my sword up to meet his with all my momentum. Our blades meet in a shower of sparks, and a violent shock runs through my hands and up my arms. I manage to keep hold of my blade though, but Xander doesn't. His chainsword goes arching through the air and lands a few feet away from us.

He looks between me and it in a panic, and I slowly bring my sword down to rest at his neck.

"You lose," I gasp out, dripping in sweat and shaking in fatigue. "Anything you want to say?"

"I surrender," Xander squeaks out, falling to his knees in fake shame.

I let my sword drop from his neck and let out a snarl, turning away from him. I close my eyes, willing myself to leave the Aether world, and a second later I'm back in my body, my eyes snapping open.

I blink and look around. I almost give a big smile when I see Molly, but my happiness is quickly swept away when I see her. She sits against the wall with teary eyes, her lip wobbling as she looks at me. Alex also looks distraught where he stands, his face blank and eyes far away.

They haven't realized that Seth and Xander's betrayals were fake.

I get up slowly and walk over to her, sliding down the wall next to her. She wipes her face a few times and gives me a shaky nod. My heart just about breaks at the sight of her. I want to tell her that the boy she likes didn't try to hurt me, that he's still good, but I can't. Not yet, anyway.

It's pure torture, but I force myself to keep my mouth shut for the rest of the duels. Not surprisingly, Alex challenges Seth next which results in a very close tie. Molly goes after Elizabeth and wins easily, fighting with a fervor and anger I haven't seen in her before. I don't really pay attention to the rest of the duels except to see Devon tie once again. I can't help but focus on my own feelings, constantly shifting between happiness and pain as I wait to tell Molly and Alex what Seth and Xander did for me.

The duels end after what seems like forever, and I have plenty of time to think on what just happened. The more I think about it, the more my happiness begins to fade to wariness, and soon enough I find myself doubting Seth and Xander's motives. Maybe I was too quick to jump to the conclusion that they just wanted to help me.

Maybe it's just paranoia, but the last time I wasn't careful, I paid for it, and I'm not about to make that same mistake again. Just because their intentions seem to have been geared towards helping me now, doesn't necessarily mean they always were or even always will be.

I need to make sure.

The duels finally end, and people begin to leave the area quickly, not wanting to stick around.

"Molly, Xander, Seth, Devon, Alex, and Aria, please stay," Fairfax calls out suddenly, and I feel my heart drop.

He figured it out.

The Nobles look at each other with confused expressions, but they continue on their way out. Dumont gives Fairfax a curt nod that he returns, and then Dumont leaves too, leaving Fairfax with the six of us.

He slowly looks over us all, and I feel my heart pounding in my chest. Sure, Fairfax may be on my side, but how far is he willing to go to help me? Will he punish Seth and Xander for what they did?

"What you did," Fairfax says very slowly, looking between Seth and Xander mostly. "Was very clever and very noble, but don't ever try something like this again."

Xander looks pale as he nods at Fairfax vigorously, but Seth just purses his lips and gives a short tilt of his head. Fairfax accepts it though, and turns on his heel, walking steadily from the room.

"What did he mean noble?" Molly says, sounding half angry and half confused.

I look at Xander, who looks at Seth, who looks at me until I look back at him, and then he look at Xander, who gets a stern glare from me when he tries to look my way.

"Why do I have to explain it?" He whines. "Isn't it enough that I figured it out?"

Seth and I look at eachother, and then back to Xander.

Then we start laughing.

Devon starts chuckling soon after, leaving Molly and Alex absolutely baffled until we explain it to them. Then they join in, and we laugh together, but only after Molly punches Xander a few times for not telling her what was going on.

For awhile, I pretend to be happy and thankful towards everyone.

The truth is though, my happiness faded a long time ago.

I can't afford to let myself trust anyone. I almost fell into the trap during the duel with Xander, thinking that I could be friends with them, but I just can't. I can't drop my guard around them. This whole fake betrayal scenario could have been very real and ended very differently. I want so badly to trust them, I know I do, but the second I do I could get hurt.

And I don't want to get hurt again.

A shiver works it's way down my spine, and I force myself to continue smiling and joking until people start leaving. That's when I make my move.

"Hey Xander," I say carefully before he leaves. "Can I talk to you for a second?"

"Sure," He says, walking back towards me. "What's up?"

I watch carefully until everyone leaves, and then I look at Xander very seriously.

"Did Seth tell you his plan or did you figure it out?" I ask, lowering my voice.

"I figured it out," He answers with a frown. "Why?"

I take a deep breath, checking one last time to make sure no one is waiting at the door.

"What do you think the odds are that Seth didn't lose to me on purpose?" I ask.

His eyes widen, and I see him open his mouth to immediately deny my accusation. But then he stops himself, closing his mouth, and I see his eyes flicker back and forth as he calculates in his head, rethinking the fight. He stops suddenly, looking at me with his big green eyes. He swallows, suddenly looking very shaken and very, very nervous.

"Fifty-fifty," he rasps out.

I close my eyes. I thought so. Rethinking the fight over and over again, it really was a close thing. I did plan out how to break from his grapples after I saw him fight, so it's not a huge stretch that I could actually have succeeded in a fight for once. Not only that, but his emotions, especially his anger, seemed far too real to be fake. Sure, he could have used his real feelings to make the fight look extra real, but there's just no way for me to no for sure whether he faked the duel or he actually just lost to me.

"You don't think he…?" Xander trails off, and I slowly shake my head.

"I don't know," I say quietly. "But I'm going to be extra careful around him from now on."

"Good… good," Xander says shakily, turning and walking away.

Now, time to find out the next part. I wait until he reaches the door to call out to him.

"That story about your past wasn't fake, was it?" I call out, and Xander freezes in place.

He slowly turns to me, his eyes soft, and he lets out a sigh.

"No," he whispers, sorrow filling his voice. "No it wasn't, but the only one to blame is Zuan. They're the ones who put us out on the street, and for all I know, they could have intercepted my parents' asylum requests."

I give him a nod, and he turns and walks away, leaving me alone. I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding, staring at the spot Xander was just standing.

Seth isn't the only one I have to watch out for. I can't forget that the poison came from Xander's lab according to Devon, and now Xander has even admitted to having a possible motive for eventually wanting to hurt me. Devon could also have been lying to me to try and gain my trust, which means I have to be extra suspicious of him too. Alex and Molly seem nice, but they could just be trying to work up to asking favors from me.

All in all, I've gotten nowhere. I might know my supposed allies a little better, but I can't trust any of them even a little bit.

I let out a sigh, kicking the ground lightly. Being paranoid may be tiring, but at least it's kept me safe so far. The fact that I was so quick to jump to the idea that I could have friends here during my duel with Xander is troubling though. I need to be more careful.

Still, I can't help but want to trust people. It's instinct, really, and maybe someday, I will be able to be friends with them.

Just not today.

Still, the possibility that Seth and Xander truly did do a nice thing for me is enough for now, so I put on a little smile and walk out of the room. It makes me feel a little better to know that maybe not all Zuanites and Noxians are completely evil, that they can be good once and awhile.

At least there's a chance.