A/N: Firstly, I own nothing from the Harry Potter franchise, J K Rowling own it all. Secondly, thank you for your support, as always, you know how much it means to me. Thirdly, this chapter took me ages to write, so I hope you enjoy it. I realise my chapters have become shorter, so this is a longer one which I've been working on since I got up. Remember: Jily will happen... in the seventh year. Have a great day!

A few moments later, I am slammed into a post, my blindfold and gag are taken off but the binds which restrict my body stay, binding me to the post. Severus is shaking, completely terrified. He starts to sweat but stops virtually immediately when Bellatrix and Malfoy come into sight.

Bellatrix cackles madly.

"Aren't you excited, Mudblood? We've got something rather special tonight, haven't we Snape?" she croons.

I resist making a remark as that would not help my situation. Bellatrix steps back, allowing Severus to step forward.

"I'm afraid you won't be under my wand, Mudblood. Snape has offered to practice some of his new spells on you."

I look at Severus with pure abhorrence. This settles it; he's definitely not someone I care about. Not any more, I don't like to associate with people who are coward enough to torture.

SEVERUS' P.O.V

I don't know what to do. I can't sleep, I can't eat and I can't concentrate. It's in my every waking hour, I feel his presence. Telling me not to let him down, that if I do, I shall be the next. Bellatrix seems to have taken a peculiar interest in Lily Evans, my once closest friend. I don't have friends anymore, just allies and enemies. At first, when it was just duelling, I wasn't worried but now… Bellatrix curses harder and relentlessly. I don't understand why Lily doesn't ask for help. Any one of her stupid Gryffindor friends would stand up for her. Yet she doesn't, she allows herself to get battered, each time I sit by and watch. Each time, she looks at me with more hurt, betrayal, sadness and something else. Pity? No, how could she pity me? I have everything I've ever wanted; I will serve the Dark Lord… No! I will not. I refuse but every time I refuse to join them, my mark burns.

Fighting my loyalty is useless. When you are given the Dark Mark, its damn near impossible to fight off the allegiance magic. The Dark Mark is part of you, it almost controls you. I shouldn't have done it but what choice did I have? Besides, my father is dead, my mother is safe. They did that much for me, join the dark side and they'd kill my father. I'd got my revenge, wasn't it fair enough for them to expect me to join them? Yet, I felt uncomfortable torturing First years because they were Mudbloods, I feel guilty and disgusting whenever I curse Lily. Who am I kidding? She'll never love me - that ship sailed the minute I called her Mudblood. Still… Maybe she could forgive me. If I can show her that I'm better than that, that I'm still the boy from Spinner's End. The one she used to confide in for everything.

Bellatrix walks into the Common Room, I never know quite what to make of her. At first, I thought the Dark Lord was buying her loyalty but I see now that she is completely dedicated to him. Obsessed. She would do anything, murder anyone, even her family to please him. The Dark Lord must be proud of himself, such loyalty is hard to find, especially when it's unconditional.

"Snape, I've decided on your task to prove yourself."

I look her in the eyes, though she may be one of the youngest blood-purity campaigners at Hogwarts, nobody questions her authority.

"You're a talented wizard, not as talented as I or anywhere near a talented as the Dark Lord, but… You've been working on some Dark Magic of your own, haven't you? You've been working out some new attack spells, haven't you?"

"Yes, Bellatrix," I resist the urge to call her 'ma'am'. Bellatrix has a certain stance which makes you want to grovel at her feet.

"Don't worry, I won't grass you up, so long as you agree to use every single one on the Mudblood."

She grins, cruelly and turns away. Inventing your own spells is a risky and dangerous business. Technically illegal, especially if it's harmful but Bellatrix knows that if anybody found out, I'd be screwed. She knows where I keep my research, so she'll know if I don't use the same spells on Lily… I don't want to do it. I won't. Nobody can make me do anything.

Blinding pain form my mark covers my entire body. I have to find a way out, I can't torture anyone else, I can't cause any more pain. I sit down, waiting for the pain to pass. Narcissa sits next to me.

"I'm sorry, Severus. This shouldn't have happened to you."

Narcissa has always been kind to me, always been supportive. The only reason she joined the Dark side was because of her boyfriend, Lucius Malfoy and because of her sister, Bellatrix. She didn't really have a choice; Narcissa doesn't like to cause disruption in families so she went along with it. We have an empathy thing together, if I had friends, I'd consider her to be one of them.

"I can't do it, I don't want to."

"I know, Severus, I know but we have to. The war is nearer, I can feel it and we have to fight. I don't like it any more than you do but if we want protection from the stronger side, then this is the price. I may not agree with everything he stands for, but the Dark Lord has done things for my family, debts I can never repay."

"You don't seriously believe the Dark Lord cares about any of us."

"Of course not, even though his intentions were bad, to gain our loyalty, he's still done things for my family. I can't turn my back on it."

"Why not? He's just playing with you. He knows that if he does something for your family, then he'll gain your loyalty. When it comes down to it, he'll leave us all to burn in hell."

"Perhaps," Narcissa says grimly. "But I'd much rather my family were safe, wouldn't you?"

"Yes, but my family is rather thin on the ground. The only people I care about are my mother and Lily. And I've let them both down."

"They won't like it, but maybe they'll see later on in life, that what you did was to protect them."

"They won't be well protected if I fail. You know how he works, he uses the people closest to us to control us."

"Be that as it may, I still have a duty and you have yours."

She leaves. Narcissa has always been too driven by her family. They mean the world to her, literally. As dedicated to the Dark Lord Bellatrix is, that's how dedicated Narcissa is to her family. She simply doesn't see why I don't feel the same way. She thinks family is the be all and end all. Bellatrix calls it weak, Narcissa calls it compassion. They never say it to each other's faces, though. It doesn't matter how different the two sisters are, I can tell that they are close. I feel jealous in a way, if I only I had someone on the inside who cared about me that much.

The only person whom that could have possibly been was Lily but her joining the Dark side is ludicrous. She's a Muggle-born, there's no way she could possibly join. Bellatrix says there are other girls – that Lily is just a waste of my Pureblood energy, which is just about the kindest thing she's ever said. She wasn't referring to herself, though when she talks about 'other girls'. We all know her and Lestrange have a thing.

Lestrange and Black don't love each other, they're incapable of that but they are both infatuated with the Dark Lord, so I guess it'll work out.

As for me finding a girl… Let's just say I'm not the most popular boy in school. The Marauders are my enemies here at Hogwarts, their life aim to make my life as difficult as possible, which they have done very well. I hate Potter the most of all. Once upon a time, Lily used to share that emotion with me. Now the only emotion we feel together is loss. Of a friend, of a companion.

Potter and his cronies cause me no end of trouble. But our stupid rivalry will change when the war comes. I think I'll miss it. It's a beautiful thing to hate someone so easily and for them to hate you right back. Comforting. Like nothing has changed.

But it has, many things have changed and I don't how much longer I can ignore it. I think of Lily. Will she ever forgive me for what I'm about to do? The voice in my head says no, but my heart, always the foolish one, says yes. I'm willing to risk it.

I tie her to the post, shivering with fear. I don't want to take off her blindfold; we had so many conversations without saying a word just by looking at each other's eyes. I try to tell her that it will be okay, that I'll get the spells wrong for her sake but she won't stop struggling. She looks at me eventually, but with pure loathing.

What am I doing? This is the girl I love. How could I do this to her? Bellatrix comes forward from the shadows and I pull myself together. They must not see me weak, only strong and cold.

Bellatrix teases and torments Lily with words before ushering me forward, to practice my spells. I look at the list. The first is one for bruising.

"Livoremplenium."

Almost at once, large ugly bruises appear all over her arms, making her curl her back in pain. Bellatrix laughs and tells me to do another, more painful this time, grimly I agree.

"Mordeo!"

This spell creates stings all over your body, until you turn blue almost. Well, that's what happened to the bird I tested on. They're not just ordinary stings either, they have venom. Bellatrix is absolutely delighted at this spell, she runs forward, investigating the damage.

"Perfect! The Dark Lord will be pleased!"

"Wait," Lucius says. "This is Snape we're talking about, I'll bet he has an even worse spell up his sleeve, worse than petty stinging curses and bruising charms."

I hesitate, because he's right. I do have a spell which last time I used, I wasn't able to undo. Bellatrix looks at me curiously.

"Go on, Snape! Do your worst!"

I look at the paper before clearing my throat. I send apology signals to Lily's eyes but she stares back at me, her eyes holding only one thing- coldness.

"Sectumsempra!"

The minute I say it, Lily collapse as far as her binds will allow her as blood gushes out from her arm. It doesn't stop. She screams, the sound chilling me to the bone. She'll bleed to death, I know it. Bellatrix stops and stares at Lily. Utterly shocked.

"Well, it seems as though Snape has shown his true colours," Malfoy smirks.

"We'll leave you to clear it up," Bellatrix sweeps out, grinning broadly. "Don't forget to tell me if you come up with any more spells!"

I won't. I'm never creating a spell ever again. I slash through the binds with my wand and hold Lily in my arms. No. She can't die at my hand, that can't happen. Without thinking, I cast another spell, one I learnt a long time ago.

"Anima medela."

I can't remember exactly what the spell does, just that it will stop her bleeding. It's a curing spell but it won't completely cure her, no spell could do that. I watch as she drifts from consciousness. I pick her up easily and carry her to the door. It doesn't even occur to me that there could be somebody on the other side waiting. Her heart is still beating and that's all that matters. I'll never hurt her again, never. I'll do whatever I can to help her. Just as long as I never see her like this again.

As the door opens, I come face-to-face with Potter. I scowl at him, almost forgetting Lily is in my arms.

"Move aside, Potter," I spit.

"What have you done to Lily?" he looks completely horrified, seeing Lily soaked in her own blood, gallons of it. The cut on her arm drips blood feebly.

"That's none of your concern," I turn down the corridor but Potter stops me.

"What did you do to her?"

"It's none of your business. Lily wouldn't want you to interfere, like she hasn't for the past few months," he looks at me blankly, "she hasn't told you? Lily and Bellatrix have a feud, it's a private matter."

"No, it's not. That bitch Bellatrix cut Lily's arm and now y-you've done something to her! You haven't… You wouldn't…"

"She's not dead," I say shortly, but the truth is that I'm not sure.

"Let me take her to the Hospital Wing."

"No! She doesn't –"

"I don't care, Snivellus. This is no time for petty duels, Lily's life could…" he can't bring himself to say it.

I let him take her body and watch him run down the corridor, taking my one and only love in his arms. Now, I wonder why I let him take her. Maybe I didn't trust myself, or maybe I couldn't bring myself to admit to Lily when she wakes that I was the one who did it. No doubt Potter will take the pleasure in telling her it's my entire fault. If she survives. Narcissa was right; the best thing to do is keep the Dark Lord happy. Maybe then, Lily won't get hurt anymore. It's my responsibility to keep her safe from the Dark side.