The Witcher: Part VIII
The Trial of Grasses
Previously, on The Witcher:
Geralt entered Guard Captain Iorverth's brain, where he found his old enemy Severus Hitler. Except, now, Prince Severus Hitler had limited amounts of magickek, from a blood transfusion from his father.
How will our hero make it out of this predicament?
Geralt and Severus stood on opposite sides of the corpus callosum fibres. They stared each other down. And then Severus struck with a magickek vaporisation attack.
Geralt dodged, but the attack hit a cluster of important fibres of the corpus callosum.
Those fibres broke.
As Prince Severus continued to shoot vaporisation attacks, the corpus callosum, the bridge connecting the two halves of Iorverth's brain, was slowly being destroyed. And then Prince Severus shot a massive vaporisation beam at the fibres Geralt was standing on.
They broke, causing the entire corpus callosum to break in half.
Geralt flew up, into a blood vessel. Prince Severus followed. After a few minutes, they had exited the brain of the now unconscious Iorverth and were now fighting a full sized battle.
Geralt's men drew their swords upon seeing Prince Severus. And then Prince Severus launched a massive lava attack at Geralt.
All the men ran away (except for Iorverth, because he was unconscious, but luckily, he was dragged to safety by Lady Feudalism).
Geralt and Prince Severus duelled. Evenly matched, the duel lasted at least fifteen minutes. Towards the end, both men began to tire.
But Geralt, in one final burst of energy, shot a bolt of lightning into Prince Severus, taking him to the ground.
"Finish me," said Prince Severus. "My father will not let me bear this loss."
"No," said Geralt.
And he and Lady Feudalism carried Iorverth away. They caught up with all the other men a few minutes later.
"You cowards!" said Lady Feudalism. "Why did you run away?"
A spindly man with a mustache spoke with a meek voice.
"We were... scared... ma'am."
"I don't know if I like this job."
"Well you're all FIRED!" yelled Lady Feudalism.
And the 49 coward guards walked away.
On the way back to Vizima, a cloaked figure appeared before the 49 men.
"So, I hear you lot are out of a job," said the cloaked figure, who had a distinctly German accent. "Let me ask... are any of you good at music?"
"We love music!" said the spindly man.
"Good... very good... I think I have a job opportunity..." said the cloaked figure.
"Iorverth needs some medicine," said Lady Feudalism.
Iorverth was partially conscious, but he looked sick.
"We'll stop at the next town," said Geralt.
After a few hours, they arrived at the town of Temeria.
"We need a good disguise," said Iorverth, half-dazed.
"When you two go into the town, you can wear these clothes," he said, pulling some suits out of his rucksack.
"Why?" asked Geralt.
"You need a good cover story," said Iorverth. He hadn't heard Geralt.
"You two are lawyers. You've come to Temeria to borrow some books from the library," said Iorverth.
"Just indulge him," said Lady Feudalism.
So the two lawyers walked into the town.
On the way there, they saw a magnificent mansion.
And under the mansion's balcony was a magnificent field of grass. It was the grassiest grasses Geralt had ever seen.
"Nuclear grass," said Lady Feudalism. "Instead of photosynthesising off some conventional process, these grasses photosynthesise by nuclear fission."
And then, the two saw a shadow appear on the grass. There was a scream, and a man fell from the balcony and hit the ground, dead.
"Oh no..." said an old man who walked out from the mansion.
The police had arrived shortly after. Geralt and Lady Feudalism were bought in for questioning.
"Why are we suspects?" asked Geralt.
"We didn't kill him!"
"That was quite clear," said the policeman. "The man died from fall damage."
"You are not suspects, just witnesses."
"Then who is the main suspect?" asked Lady Feudalism.
"When a man falls from a balcony, who do we say killed him?" pondered the policeman. "Was it the man who pushed him? Was it the balcony he was pushed off? Was it the air he fell through? Here in Temeria, we go with the most logical solution."
"He was killed by the surface he landed on, In this case, those nuclear grasses."
"Anyway, let us proceed with the questioning," said the policeman. "What are you guys doing in Temeria today?"
"We're lawyers," said Geralt, remembering Iorverth's cover story.
"Lawyers?" asked the policeman.
He suddenly smiled.
"There are no lawyers in Temeria," he said. "It's lucky you're here right now."
"Why?" inquired Geralt.
"Because I want you two to defend the suspect in the upcoming murder trial!" said the policeman excitedly.
"You can form the prosecution," said the policeman to Lady Feudalism.
"And you can defend the accused!" said the policeman to Geralt.
"I shall see you tomorrow at the trial of the grasses."
The next day, Geralt and Lady Feudalism walked into the courtroom.
Geralt held a small sample of the nuclear grass, representing the accused. Lady Feudalism sat on the other side with the family of the murdered man. And then, the policeman walked in, wearing judicial robes.
He sat at the judge's seat.
"We are gathered here now to find out if this grass is guilty of murder or not," said the policeman, obviously attempting to be formal but failing horribly. "If the grasses are found not guilty, they will not be disturbed. If they are found guilty, they will be sentenced to death... by burning."
Everyone gasped.
"You know what that means, your grace," said Lady Feudalism, who quickly ran up to Geralt. "If they burn the nuclear grass, this entire town and most of the region around it will be no more! You have to win this!"
"But I... I can't do public speaking..." said Geralt. "I'm scared!"
"Oh no!" said Lady Feudalism.
TO BE CONTINUED
IN
THE WITCHER: PART IX
THE BLOOD OF ELVES