Author's Note: Not much to say, except I hope you enjoy!
(This chapter is 41 pages and 14312 words according to google docs)
Chapter Nineteen
I hate fire.
It never really occurred to me before, but now it seems painfully obvious just how much I hate it. It tricks you, never quite doing what you expect, and more than that, it knows how to wear a mask, a mask of beauty and serenity that woes you closer. Closer and closer to something so dangerous. Something that consumes more to stay alive, that feels no empathy for what it does, something that kills without remorse.
It's the very definition of a monster.
My eyes finally tear up enough to wash away the soot and smoke, and I find myself lumbering forward in my heavy armor, stepping over the smoldering ground. My steps crunch on what remains of the soil, putting out the tiny flares that remain from such a devastating spell. I trudge through the smoke, narrowing my eyes as I search.
I don't think it's a coincidence that anger feels so much like fire. That it starts off smoldering and quiet, but if it's given just the right fuel, just the right boost, it flares into a blaze, smothering any form of thought or rationality.
Everything seems so unreal. There's a loud ringing in my ears, causing every sound to be oddly distorted and quiet. The scraping of my armor, the heavy footfalls of my steps, and even the crackling fire sound distant, somehow set apart from me. None of it seems important.
Because it isn't.
All's that's important right now is getting to Elizabeth.
I step forward, brushing through the smoke without a care, and as it finally clears, I see her. A grin on her face, turning on her heel to run.
I should let her go. I shouldn't waste my ultimate ability on just her. It might be a trap, designed to bait me in so her team can jump me. I should just let go of my anger.
My next step takes me past a blackened and scorched body, curled in pain and agony. Alex's shell would be staring at me if it still had eyes. He would be screaming if he was still alive.
It's not really him, it's just a game, but I just don't care.
I'm not going to let Elizabeth get away with suddenly appearing, from wasting all her abilities on Alex even though he was already low on health, and from hurting him when he wasn't prepared for it, when he couldn't prepare his defenses.
Any other summoner would have been fine, already insulated by their concentration from the pain.
Any summoner but Alex.
And Elizabeth knew that.
I flick my blade from its sheath with my left thumb, purple energy exploding outward and into the ground, gouging through the blackened land. Scorched metal and crisp cloth melts into energy, solidifying into my black clothes, my samurai clothes, my killing clothes.
Elizabeth's smiles broadly, her shell whispering something. A flash of light bursts into existence as she uses her Flash summoner spell, taking her another few feet away from me, keeping her out of my range.
So I use my Flash spell.
She blinks as I suddenly close the distance, my legs breaking out into a run even through the disorienting nausea that hits me from suddenly being teleported forward. She turns and tries to sprint, but she can't outrun me, not when I'm wrapped in this spell.
I whip my sword clear from its scabbard, causing a shockwave of violet energy that expands into a perfect circle around me. Then I give in to my anger.
I pour it into the spells embroidered in my clothes, entering the slow motion world. I move through it, easily reaching Elizabeth and delivering a long, deep cut across both her calves, and then I release the spell.
She cries out in sudden pain, stumbling forward at a slowed pace. It buys me enough time to spin, slashing my sword across her back in a scarlet line. I don't even look at her health bar, because as long as she has some left, it's too much, so I lunge forward the instant I regain my balance, stabbing through her side.
I see the pain touched fear in her eyes, and she stops, trying to juke me out by planting her feet and running the opposite way. My feet slip on the loose terrain, and I snarl. She won't get away.
I give another push of will and concentration, slowing down the world again, allowing me to kick off against the ground and sprint past her, underhanding a cut that slides across her arm.
The pressure of the spell begins to make me dizzy, and I release it, sliding past her. She all but falls down trying to do another quick turnaround, attempting to make use of the distance created by my last dash. Flames lick and curl around her shoes, and I realize she's about to use her escape spell, the one that launches her forward on a torrent of fire.
I push myself, piercing through the painful pressure in my head with a cry to bring the world to a stop once more. I don't make it in time, though, and the fire explodes beneath her feet sliding her forward at a regular running pace in the slowed world.
She's not getting away, not this time.
I sprint after her, making the distance up with each step, but still she is propelled forward, staying just out of my reach. Spots begin to blind my vision, my ragged breathing becoming my world as I gasp, urging every bit of strength in my meak muscles to send me further, to send me faster. I run almost completely into the fire coming from her feet, the heat baking me the closer I get, and I ignore it, something that comes easy as a spike of pain drives into my mind.
I taste copper and iron, and I know I'm at my limit for my spell. I release it, screaming as I blindly send my blade cutting through the air in front of me.
An explosion of motion and fire hit me suddenly, bringing me stumbling to my knees. I keep my eyes closed as the remaining burst of flame washes over me, letting out a gasp and choking on the smoke filled air as I try to see in front of me.
The shrouded air clears just in time for me to see Elizabeth's body rolling away from me on the ground limply, coming to a halt and remaining still a few feet away.
I let out a half sigh and half groan, trying to stand. My exposed flesh burns, hot pinpricks of pain tickling me in irregular intervals. I push the point of my sword into the ground, pulling myself up on the handle and resting my weight against it.
A breeze pushes the smoke away, and I take a breath of clean air, wincing as the cold enters my lungs. I stare at Elizabeth's shell, the anger slowly fading. I finally take a look at my own health bar, and my heart skips as I see how low it is. I swallow, my throat tight.
I shouldn't have chased her like that. It was stupid, and she could have easily turned that around on me if she played it right. This is what happens when my anger takes control of me. Tsk.
I activate the recall spell with a quick thought and snap of energy, engulfing me in blue light. Then I pull myself away, bring my focus from the match back to reality with a disorienting and sudden switch.
My eyes suddenly are blinded by the darkness of the room I stand in, and I have to blink a few times to get used to the contrast to the bright arena my mind was just in. The soft blue glow and hum of the summoning orb between my hands provides enough light for me to be able to see without my vision fully adjusting, and I glance at my allies.
We stand in a circle, all of us with our summoning orbs held between our hands. My allies all stare at them, their eyes empty, and their bodies are rigid with concentration. Sweat drips off most of their brows, but they take no notice.
I look across from me at Alex. His face is twisted into a grimace of pain, his teeth clenched and breathing uneven and loud. His unfocused eyes constantly spasm back and forth, twitching as he tries to remain focused on his summoning spell. I see tears fresh on his face.
Guilt, regret, and pain hit me in equal parts as I look at him, my heart clenching up at his pain.
I could have helped him more. I could have done something. Instead I stepped away as he literally reached out for help, as he searched for a friend. I stepped away.
The thought keeps repeating itself, just like it has been the whole day as we prepared for the match in the tense, awkward silence that filled our group.
Why am I such a failure?
Because I'm weak, too weak to make a difference.
Why did I have to step away? Why couldn't I just have stayed still?
Because I'm weak, too weak to forget the past.
Why can I never actually do something good for someone else while keeping myself safe?
Because I'm weak, too weak to do both.
I know the answers to the questions, but that doesn't stop me from asking them again, and again, and again.
Why?
"Aria?" Xander says suddenly, making me jump as his words echo in the room. "You mind holding middle lane against while I recall to buy some things?"
Xander's eyes are still unfocused and empty, and I realize I'm still in the middle of a match, and my teammates need me.
"Yeah," I choke out, turning back to my orb. "Just give me a second, I'll be right there."
I throw myself back into my shell, trying to shake my thoughts as my surroundings condense once again into the bright battlefield of Summoner's Rift.
Still. I could train Alex. I could teach him step by step how to block more of the pain. I could spend time talking to him, getting his mind ready to block it out to a manageable amount just like I do. I could. I really could.
All it would cost me is my neutrality, my distance. My safety. I would be taking the same step as I did before, strengthening a Noxian instead of myself. I would be helping the enemy.
I move to wipe away the tear sliding down my face as I adjust to my new surroundings. No matter how many times I try to swipe it away, I still get the ghostly sensation of it on my cheek, and it take me a moment to realize it's a tear falling from my actual body, not from my shell.
I wipe it away, and return my thoughts to battle, to ending it as quickly as possible. I can do that much for Alex, at least, but that's it. I can't help him, just like Seth said. I need to train myself, to strengthen me and not someone else. Any second I could be blindsided by another Noxian scheme.
So I let the thoughts run in the back of my mind like I would a spell, and just like a spell, they continue playing out over and over again, trying to torture me with guilt, telling me I'm cruel and callous and cold. That I'm no different than a Noxian, only looking out for themselves. But…
I don't have a choice.
Because I'm weak.
Thirty-six minutes of blood and fire, and the match ends, the enemy's Nexus in their base exploding with a shower of sparks and light. I let my focus drop from the summoning spell right as the announcer begins to shout "Victory!" I'm not in the mood to hear it.
We might as well have lost. They focused on Alex the entire game, killing him ten times over with an assortment of traps, tricks, and spells. Whenever we tried to help, it was always met with a counter attack aimed at killing any who interfered. They tried to win not by destroying our towers to get to our base, but by killing us into submission.
It almost worked. It would have worked if Seth hadn't refused to fall to their plan, if he had chosen to fall into their trap and help Alex, but he didn't. He stayed away, helping Xander and I get ahead instead. He won us the match.
I feel sick, as sick as I did when I was poisoned, because Seth was just following orders. Orders from the leader. From me.
"Stay away from bottom lane even if Cody goes appears to kill Alex and Molly, they're trying to ambush us."
"How do you know?"
"Because Jackson or Elizabeth always go missing. They're probably setting themselves up down there to attack whoever goes to help."
"That makes it four on two down there! We'll lose bottom lane!"
"Xander! We can win top and middle lane this way and gain control of the entire map. We have to do it."
"It's alright Xander, Molly and I will be the bait if that's what it takes to win."
The conversation echoes in my mind continuously, replaying Alex's sentence over and over again, driving home the hopelessness in his words as he accepted the plan, as he readied himself for the pain that he was going to go through. He condemned himself, taking the one role he couldn't do, the role that required a summoner able to minimize the pain to maximize his team's reward.
I finally look up from the summoning orb. I can vaguely hear shouts and whoops of victory from Xander, and laughter from Molly, but it seems muffled vaguely. My eyes focus on Alex, watching as he gives a lopsided smile and says something that I don't make out, heading for the door. Xander gives him a thumbs up and a grin, oblivious to the small tremors in Alex's walk.
"I told him he shouldn't drink so much water before a match," Xander jokes with a big smile. "Luckily for him I was able to carry the team and end the match quick enough, huh?"
"Oh yeah," Molly says sarcastically, rolling her eyes. "You totally did all the work."
"Well someone had to," Xander says with a shrug. "I mean, I couldn't just let your noble sacrifices be in vain. Seriously though, nice job baiting them down there so many times. Taking control in middle lane was a cinch."
"Next time," Molly teases, giving Xander a jab. "You get the job of dying over and over again while the rest of the team gets to have all the fun"
"Fair enough," Xander laughs. "But I think we both know I'm good enough to bait them into targeting me and get away. Void, I could probably get some kills of my own while I distract them."
"We'll see if you're as brave when four people are coming right at you."
Normally, the joking between the two cheers me up, helping me forget I'm surrounded by Noxians, enemies who would love nothing more than to succeed while I fail. Now, it just makes me feel even more nauseous and even more guilty. I look away, uncomfortable.
My eyes land on Seth. He stares at me for a second before nodding, seemingly approving my actions, my condemnation of Alex, and I find myself unable to breathe.
"Well, I guess I'll see you all tomorrow then," Molly says, stretching. "I'm going to get some sleep."
"Sounds good to me," Xander yawns. "It is surprisingly tiring to be this good."
"Oh please…" Molly says, continuing her back-and-forth with Xander as the two leave together.
I look up again, looking at Seth. He gives me a smile, like nothing's wrong whatsoever, and something inside me snaps.
He just spent almost an entire hour fighting and watching his comrades be cut and burnt alive, and he has the audacity to smile? To be satisfied because he's finally hurting someone? Is that it?
I try to let it go, to just let things play out, but I can't. Something inside of me aches, and I can't stop the words from bubbling out.
"Does it make you happy?" I ask quietly, more confused than angry "To see someone in so much pain?"
Seth's face flickers with surprise, and he walks closer to me with a frown.
"No," He says. "It just relieves me to finally be able to do what's necessary."
"Necessary?" I whisper, unable to hide the revulsion. "Is that what hurting someone is called? Neccesary?"
"It's called justice," he replies, still looking at me like I'm crazy. "Because he deserves what's coming to him."
"Justice?" I spit. "You're making him suffer, making him burn alive when we could be helping him. We could be giving him more help in game, or training him, or a thousand other things! That's not justice!"
A look of complete confusion covers Seth's face, like he has no understanding of my outrage, of why I'm upset. He seems to think over his next words, fidgeting slightly before he speaks.
"Aria, I don't know why this is getting to you," he says carefully. "But you need to remember he isn't innocent. The things he's done, that he is doing… this isn't the place where you can get away with having friends. This is where people betray each other just for a chance at becoming a summoner, and someone like him, someone who's done it when the stakes were less… he deserves what's coming to him."
"No one deserves to be in pain," I say on reflex.
"And I'm telling you," Seth pushes. "He does. He deserves all this pain coming to him and more."
Anger boils inside of me, taking over my thoughts, filling me with pure disgust.
"Why?" I ask, the words sour in my mouth. "Because he made you feel helpless? Because he hurt you and now you need your petty vengeance for something he had nothing to do with?"
My words are sharp and harsh, ones that I would normally have swallowed and forgotten, but I don't care. Something inside me burns at Seth's words, making me seethe with rage partly at myself for being too weak to do anything, but also at Seth, someone so arrogant to think he has all the facts, that his judgement is perfectly right about Alex.
My words strike true, Seth tensing up and narrowing his eyes.
"No," he snarls. "It's because I know what he really did, even if you don't believe me. I know exactly who he is and what he's capable of. He's playing you and everything else just like he played everyone at the academy!"
"How do you know?" I shout. "How do you know you aren't wrong, that you aren't missing something? Where's your proof?"
"I've waited a long time to get back at him," Seth growls. "To show him that a lying piece of trash like him doesn't have me fooled, that I know he was behind what happened no matter what story he spins. The only reason I've held off so long is because he was being useful, and I had to wait until he wasn't necessary to convince the rest of you that he's no different than those nobles!"
"So the truth comes out," I say, unable to stop myself from physically shaking with anger. "Through all the lies and posturing, this is only about you getting your revenge, about getting even! You just were trying out how to pitch it to us! How to get us to jump on your plan! You've been lying right from the start!"
"This is about protecting people from him," Seth shoots back. "From what he's capable of! I never lied to you about anything! He is using you to get stronger, just like a parasite would! My reasons for taking him down don't matter, all that matters is we have a common enemy!"
"More lies!" I shout. "You're the only one painting him as an enemy. The truth is he's tried to be nothing but a friend to the rest of us and you can't stand that! Alex was right, you can't get over the fact that you failed your friend so you're taking it out on him!"
Seth twitches, and for a second I think he's about to hit me. He doesn't though. He just fumes, his face red and breathing loud. I can see him trying to calm down, to figure out what to say next, but I don't give him the chance.
"Your whole reason for coming here is to hurt him because you somehow think it will make you hurt less, but it won't. All you're doing is crushing his dream, of actually being able to help people, the very thing he failed to do in the first place! Don't you think at least part if not the whole reason he's here is to make up for what happened to that girl? Of his failure?"
I hold my breath as he closes his eyes, forcing himself to calm down. When he opens his eyes again, instead of remorse, the only thing I see his resolve.
"Some people," he begins, his voice soft. "Are to condemn everything and everyone around them to get to the top, and the only way you beat someone like that is by being willing to sacrifice everything. Even if it means you look like a monster to everyone around you."
I look at him in disbelief as he shifts his eyes away. He doesn't want to believe me. It's not that he can't, he just is so firmly rooted in his explanation, the one that takes away his pain, that he won't accept my words. He's… He's…
"You're just like them," I whisper, fearful realization washing over me. "You posture and play like you aren't, but that's all this is. You want to hurt him, to get back, and so you will. You have to get your way, to succeed. You're just like the nobles we're fighting against, can't you see that?"
He looks up at me, his eyes hard.
"I never claimed to be anything else."
His words hit me hard, and I swallow. This whole time, I thought he was my ally, someone who was trying to help me here because… because of how he acted. But this whole time, he's just been using me. For all his excuses and reasons, he just wants to crush Alex's dreams. He just wants to hurt him. He just wants to win.
He is literally everything I've come to hate and fear about Noxians. Everything that's kept me awake at night, and the cause of every tear. He paints himself noble, but he's just as willing to throw hurt those around him to get what he wants.
"Be careful… he scares me."
Alex's words ring in my head, and I swallow, taking a step back from him.
He's not my ally. He's just as much my enemy as Jackson, Cody, Edward, and Elizabeth.
And I've missed it this whole time.
"You can't do this," I whisper desperately. "You can't hurt Alex like this, Seth."
"I can," he says calmly, searching my eyes for something. "And I will. I've waited too long, and I'm not going to let him get away with betraying anyone else. He answers now, before he can hurt even one more person."
"This isn't some noble gesture," I say, grasping at straws. "You aren't protecting anyone! You're so wrapped up into thinking you're doing the right thing, but you aren't! This is just some sick vengeance!"
Seth tilts his head, looking at me curiously.
"Why are you suddenly defending him?" he asks. "You've been impassive until now, keeping your distance from everyone, which is the only reason I've let him stay this long, but now you want to help him? Why?"
I flinch, looking away and blinking a few times, trying to find an answer.
He… I'm not… It's not like… I just want…
The excuses come easily enough, but deep down, I know he's right. Why am I confronting Seth? Who cares if one evil takes out another?
Because Alex isn't evil, you idiot!
That's right. This whole time, Alex has acted compassionate and empathetic. He's fought, bled, and cried over what's not just happened to him, but to all of us. He's never even pretended to hurt me.
And Seth has.
I look up at him, clenching my fists tighter in resolve.
"I came here because I wanted to be able to protect people," I say, my voice surprisingly calm. "People who were too weak to stand up to people like you."
"What?" Seth asks his eyes widening.
"I've been passive long enough!" I shout. "I've watched as people I would love to call my friends are hurt and abused, sometimes even just to get to me, and I've done nothing! Well I'm done playing it safe! I'm done being on the sideline! I won't let you hurt him!"
"This is exactly what he wants!" Seth hisses. "I'm not asking you to hurt anyone! Just stay away from him! Let me protect you!"
"Protect me?" I say, shaking my head. "You're not protecting anyone here!"
A silence falls on the room as we both stare at eachother. His eyes are feral and wild with a hint of desperation.
I turn and walk away quickly, shaking my head. There's no use talking to someone like him. He's so wrong, so deluded that he's convinced himself he's doing the right thing. He won't stop.
No one thinks they're the villain, the bad guy, but it doesn't change the fact they end up that way all the same.
And I shouldn't be surprised another Noxian fell prey to the same thing. It shouldn't hurt me this much, and I shouldn't be this angry.
"Aria," Seth calls out. "If hurting you is what keeps everyone here safe, I won't hesitate."
I stop in my tracks, turning my head to look back at him through strands of my hair.
"Do what you have to do," I whisper. "Just know you're no noble, misunderstood hero. You're just another monster with a mask."
He rocks back on his heels, almost stumbling. He opens and closes his mouth a few times, searching for words, but he finds none. He looks away, and I see a flash of doubt in his eyes.
I turn and keep walking, going as fast as I can to Alex's room.
I need to talk to him, to warn him. He needs to know just how dangerous and determined Seth is. I need to-
My steps falter, and I almost trip. I need to what? Train him? Teach him? Show him all the tricks up my sleeve just to show Seth he's wrong?
I swallow, my heart suddenly heavy. I talked big with Seth, but what am I going to do? What can I do? Even if Alex is different, can I really trust him?
I let out a tsk sound, slamming the bottom of my fist against the wall, and continue my steps, hurrying faster and faster.
I can't trust anyone here… but… if I do nothing…
Before I know it, I'm at Alex's door, hand raised and poised to knock.
What am I going to say? Seth kind of hates you and really is planning on targeting you? Oh, and also, I could totally help you but am not going to because I have trust issues, just so you know.
I knock hard, holding my breath.
I don't know. I just don't have all the answers, but I can at least spend the rest of tonight trying to find them. I owe him that much.
I wait.
It's not until a minute goes by that I knock again, worry beginning to eat away at me. He still doesn't answer the door, so I try to open it, but the handle doesn't budge.
Where are you, Alex?
I hurry back to my room, all but running to avoid seeing Seth again. As I magically unlock my door and open it, the edge catches a slip of paper that was underneath, sending it sliding away. I reach down and pick it up, skimming it quickly.
Aria,
Thanks for trying. I didn't mean to hurt you, but the more I think about yesterday, the more I realize Seth was right: I am a parasite. I'm dragging the rest of you down. I wish I was like you, able to get back up and fight harder even after losing a fight or being poisoned.
But I just can't shake it.
No matter what I do I, I can't block out the pain, the burning. It's driving me crazy. Even now my skin still itches, and it barely feels like it's my own…
I'm going to keep my distance from you while we're at the academy, to keep you safe from Seth. I'm afraid he might target you if he even thinks you're helping me, and that's the last thing I want.
So I'm going to start training myself.
I'm afraid Seth might be watching me, and I don't know how far he might go to stop me, so I'm going to start training at night. I already know the guards only do a sweep of the academy itself every thirty minutes on the dot, so it won't be any trouble getting in or out. The thing is…
I hate asking this, but I know you're close with Fairfax and that he's in charge of security here. If you could just ask him to keep the guard patrols away from those ruins we found in the forest, or at least find out if they go near there, I would be eternally grateful.
Anyway, there it is. I don't think I can pretend not to be your friend, so I'm just going to stay away from you, Molly, Xander, and Devon. You probably won't see me around much anymore, but…
I just want you to know I have the utmost respect for you, even if I can't openly be your friend anymore. You're doing the impossible, beating Noxians at their own academy, and it… it makes me feel hope. Hope that things can change, and that the weak can become strong.
And I'm not going to give up. I will figure this out, and I will prove Seth wrong.
Stay Safe,
Alex
I swallow, putting the letter down.
I'm such an idiot.
I thought he was doing something wrong with his portion of the summoning spell, that maybe he was too focused, and so I tried to teach him alternatives to blocking out pain. I tried to teach him a workaround instead of the solution.
I couldn't have been further from the truth.
His willpower, his fiery passion is the key. It's one of the most basic techniques in summoning, so basic I overlooked it. He just has to will away the pain, to be pushing it away before he ever feels it. He's too connected to the Aether realm his shell fights in, and he needs to want distance, to keep the feelings more separated.
He still has fight in him, and that's the most important thing here. Magic is making will into reality, and he's strong in that respect, this letter proves it.
I clench my fist, crumpling the note as I do.
I need to remind him of that. He just needs to let go of his fear and realize he can literally will away the pain during our league matches. That's the trick, not modifying your summoning spell or blocking it out, but simply overpowering it with your own will.
I owe it to him to at least point him in the right direction, to show him he already has the answer, that I made a mistake.
He won't have to train after tonight, because I will make things right. I didn't mean to mislead him with my training, but I did, and that's on me. So I'll fix things. I'll tell him he can do this, that he does have what it takes to become a summoner. And then…
Well, he'll do the rest. He has to. He will.
He's strong like that.
I brush my still damp hair out of my eyes, crouching down on the forest floor. It wasn't a challenge sneaking out of the academy, but finding the ruins proved more difficult. It was an offhand thing when Alex even showed me them, the ruined and overgrown stone walls and pillars of something long past and forgotten.
It's easy to miss, considering it's almost on the exact opposite side of the loop we've been running and that it's covered in a dense thicket that hides it from view. The ruined stone building sits in a small clearing just past the camouflage, missing walls and a roof over its second floor. It almost looks like an entire half is missing, leaving it empty and open to the elements.
I walk up to the old stairs that line one of the outer walls and begin ascending, heading to where I saw Alex when I took a quick look around the area. I reach the top and walk through a doorway, onto the now balcony like second floor. I see Alex standing at the edge and looking off into the moonlit forest.
I swallow, swaying slightly as I take a deep, silent breath.
Here goes nothing.
"Hey," I say, faking my best soft smile.
He jumps slightly, spinning around and searching the darkness with narrowed eyes. I must blend into the shadows with my black uniform, because it takes a second for recognition to flash across his eyes.
"Aria?" he whispers in disbelief. "What? Why are you here?"
"Because," I begin, stepping forward. "I got your letter and… well… I don't think you have to do this. You're already strong enough."
His eyes waver, and he looks away from me. I bite my lip, waiting for him to say something, but instead, he just turns around and sits on the edge of the broken floor with his legs hanging off, looking out into the forest.
"You shouldn't have come," he says, his voice cracking.
I frown, my heart beating in quick agony.
"Why?" I ask, stepping closer.
"Because I'm not strong enough," Alex whispers, the words almost too quiet to make out.
I flinch, closing my eyes as I take a deep, steadying breath. I can feel his pain and hopelessness, the same as I felt once before, and it hurts. It hurts so much.
I walk over and sit down next to him, looking off into the forest with him, saying nothing. We stay like that, just sitting together, staring in shared silence. That's all I can do, sit and be there with him.
"Your letter," I finally say, breaking the quiet. "It didn't come across as being written by someone who had given up, who was broken, but by someone with a spark still left in them."
I look over at him to see him staring back, his eyes empty except for the barest hint of life.
"I can't figure it out," Alex says. "I can't figure out how to make it stop, how to make the pain go away. I can't."
"Alex, that's what I'm trying to tell you," I say, putting weight behind my words. "There is no trick. Your will is the key. You have to stop expecting the pain and start pushing it away with your mind. It's sort of like the opposite of focusing on your shell and the match, you have to also force yourself to keep distance. It's like being stuck between your real body and your fake one."
He stares at me, his brow furrowing.
"I don't understand. Why did you try to teach me ways to block out pain then? I thought I was the problem, that I wasn't mentally strong enough to cope?"
Here it goes. I brace myself, preparing for the worst.
I deserve it. I mean, I was wrong, after all.
"I made a mistake," I say, wincing. "I didn't understand why you were feeling so much pain when I wasn't. I didn't realize the truth because… because…"
"Because you're too good at summoning," He finishes with a sad smile. "You just do it subconsciously, without thinking about it."
I look away, my chest tight. I've kept my distance from everyone and everything for so long, it became second nature. Instead of throwing all my focus and mind into the summoning spell, I've always kept back, keeping myself aware of both my actual and fake body, trying to be prepared for everything.
My neutrality, my distance, finally has a cost, and I have to pay it.
"I'm sorry," I say, every muscle clenching in preparation for some sort of backlash. "I should have realized… I just assumed and… you got hurt because of it."
I wait for it. The outrage, the anger even though I was trying my best. The accusations and sharp words, I'm used to all of them by now.
"It's not your fault, Aria."
I blink, looking at him in surprise. A tired smile covers his face, and he looks back out into the forest.
"I've been messing up summoning, so that's on me," he says, his voice serene. "I guess there is such a thing as being too focused."
I let out a relieved laugh, smiling. He gives me a small grin, shaking his head.
"You're really amazing, you know that, right?"
I turn to him in surprise, blushing, and he laughs. I turn away, looking out at the forest.
"It's not nice to tease," I say, kicking my feet back and forth lightly.
"I mean it," he insists with another laugh. "I mean, at every turn you've beaten the nobles and survived at an academy filled with Noxians. Not only that, but when you actually do make a mistake, it's because you're too good. If that weren't enough, you came the second you realized it to fix it. I can pretty much count the number of people who willingly admit their mistakes on no hands."
My cheeks warm more, and I try to fight the awkward giddiness by studying the forest floor below my feet.
"Most Noxians would be angry," I point out.
"Yeah, well, I'm too tired to be angry," Alex says with a shrug. "Tired of all this, really. Of the fighting and scheming and everything else."
"Mmm," I agree, the solemn mood returning. "I know what that feels like."
"So… how do you do it? How do you keep fighting even though they're trying to not just beat you, but break you?"
Because you can't break what's already broken.
That's what I want to tell him. That's the truth, but that's not what he needs to hear right now. He's still on edge, mentally frayed by everything that's happened, and I don't want to push him over.
"I honestly don't know," I say, looking to the moon. "I guess I just focus on what needs to be done and do it. I just keep fighting, even if it hurts."
"Well," Alex says, his voice light. "It's gotta help to have that super secret magic up your sleeve that you keep using in our League matches. I don't even think Xander has figured out how your 'fast summoning,' as he calls it, works."
"It's hard to fight what you don't understand," I say uncomfortably, trying to think of a way to switch topics.
"But, I mean there has to be some sort of trick, right?" Alex asks teasingly. "Some sort of secret that we're all missing? I mean, obviously Sadon wouldn't let you use magic that completely overpowered everyone else's unless there was one."
I bite my lip, looking off to the side, my stomach doing loops. I purposefully chose my magic because I didn't want anyone figuring it out. No one can fight what they don't understand, and at an academy filled with Noxians, anyone could be my enemy.
"O-oh, right, sorry," Alex laughs awkwardly. "I didn't mean to pry."
I close my eyes, guilt washing over me.
They all trusted me enough to tell the ins and outs of their abilities, but I can't even tell them the basics of mine? No, more than that, how are we supposed to work as a team if they don't know what I can and can't do? The last game was close, too close. Can I really afford to take the chance that I won't be the cause of the next defeat?
I let out a sigh, opening my eyes.
It's time to tell them the truth.
"There is no secret," I begin, and I can hear Alex twitch in surprise.
"What?"
"It looks like summoning," I continue, tracing symbols on the brick next to me with my finger. "Like I'm calling something to me, but it's not. I'm using conjuration magic."
"I don't understand," Alex says.
"Summoning is bringing something that already exists to you," I answer, choosing my words carefully. "While conjuration is bringing something into existence. My armors, none of them exist in real life. They're all in my head and imagination. Because of that, I just imagine them with enchantments that affect my stats, and when I conjure them, they're there."
"Woa, woa, wait a second. How are you creating those things so fast then? I mean, creating magical armor on the fly? Using four different sets? How?"
"Magic is all about patterns and connections," I say, brushing my hair back. "It's how word magic works. People develop a spell, focus on memorizing how it feels when they use it, and then they connect that feeling to a word. When they say the word and put power behind it, they naturally recall the spell and presto. I'm doing the same thing, but instead of words…"
"You're using symbols," Alex says in realization and awe.
"Yup," I say, shrugging. "The symbols are magical too. My aura cuts them into the ground, and they force me to recall and put energy into the spell on instinct. It's a sort of shortcut. I created a spell to literally force me to cast another spell. The first is simple and quick, and the second is complex and powerful."
"Doesn't that use up a lot of your mana, though? Switching between armors so often?"
"I don't use mana in league matches. My shell doesn't, I mean. I run off a different resource system. Basically each armor has it's own health, and the longer I have it on, using it's powers and taking damage in it, the faster it depletes. The lower the armor's health, the less effective the enchantments are."
Silence lingers after my words, and I give Alex the time to wrap his head around it. It is pretty complicated, to be fair. I've never really liked simple magic, though, and so I created this a long time ago when I was experimenting. It honestly wouldn't be incredibly effective outside the League because of just how complicated the process is. If I were to lose focus or concentration for one second during the spell, it wouldn't work.
But in the League, where shells can only use four spells, and they each have them ingrained inside of them…
It's perfect.
It seemed to make sense when I was developing my abilities. I have more mana than the others here, anyway, so it wouldn't make a lot of sense to make champion version of me be restricted by it. At least Dumont didn't give me any hassle when I told him.
"Aria?"
The softness of how Alex says my name surprises me, and I quickly turn back to him. He stares at me with a smile and big eyes, shaking his head slowly.
"You really are amazing," He says, staring into my eyes.
My cheeks heat up, and I stutter, trying to find something to say. That's when he leans in towards me, and I'm suddenly aware of how close I am to him.
My heart starts beating faster as his head inches towards mine, neither of us daring to breathe. Panic grips me. What do I do? Do I let his… I mean... Do I even… what?
A shock of memories, of the smell of mud and the feeling of cold rain hits me, washing away my giddiness and replacing it with momentary terror. For a the barest of moments, all I can feel is hopelessness.
And I pull away before he can kiss me.
Alex blinks, seemingly confused at first, then his cheeks redden and he turns away.
"O-oh," He says. "S-sorry."
"N-no, it's just… me," I finish weakly, not daring to look at him.
"R-right… no, I get it…"
My cheeks burn with embarrassment and shame. I mean, it was just… unexpected. Sure Molly always joked that he liked me, but, I mean, I don't even really feel that way about him…
Do I?
Alex lets out a loud, almost exasperated sigh next to me, and I flinch.
How do I explain it to him? I mean, I'm not even capable of thinking like that right now. I don't even know how I feel, and even if I did… I couldn't…
"Man, this has been quite the failure of a night," Alex says, frustration clear. "Here I was hoping to learn the weakness to your magic only to find out there is no secret. If that weren't bad enough, I can't even seduce you. I mean, I knew Ionians were modest and old-fashioned, but still."
I look back at Alex, confused by his sudden shift in tone. I expect to see him with a joking grin, but instead, he just looks bored and disappointed. All traces of his weariness and pain are gone, replaced by cold, strong indifference.
"Ah well," Alex continues, giving me a lopsided but emotionless smile. "I mean, it was quite the fun game. Besides, the best of us always have plans, right? That's how the saying goes?"
My heart jitters. I hear his words, but they don't seem to make sense. What does he mean? Why is he talking like this? Is this a joke, a prank? What's going on?
I hear a loud footstep behind me, and I turn in time to see a figure wearing our school's shadowy uniform walk through the doorway of the ruins.
Cody smiles at me, his yellow eyes practically glowing.
I turn to Alex, my heart practically in my throat, my chin trembling.
"Ah, there we are," Alex sighs. "There's the surprise."
"W-what?" I ask, pushing whatever words I can out. "I don't understand, Alex."
"Don't you see?" he asks, standing up with a shrug. "I'm just not the person you thought I was."
No, no that's not-
"Maybe it would help," Alex continues with a lazy smile. "If I told you my name is Alexander Grimtooth, as in, the one who's smile signals the reapers arrival."
My eyes widen, my heart plummeting back into my stomach where it lands heavy.
When a Noxian noble becomes powerful enough, they're given a new name, usually one to signal just what makes them so dangerous. Some choose to keep their family names, but the ones that rise from nothing always use their titles instead.
Grimtooth: The one who's smile signals the reaper.
I stare into his cold eyes, and I start to shake. I can't help it. If that's really his name, that means this whole time he's-
"And there's the revelation," Alexander chuckles. "What? Is it really that surprising that I've been lying to you this whole time, ever since I got here? Would it help if I told you I'm technically a sociopath? Or was it psychopath? I always get the two confused."
"That's not possible," I whisper, my head spinning. "You couldn't have been lying this whole time… I mean, from the very start… wait, what about that story? About you and Seth and your sister?"
"I lied," Alex shrugs. "Oops."
"That doesn't…" I trail off as he shakes his head.
"Seth was right, Ar-i-a," he says, drawing out my name. "I'm a liar, a snake. Back at my old school I kept my last name a secret and rose to the top just by trading in secrets, favors, and betrayals. Soon I had all the power, it's just no one realized it because I was smarter than the rest, smart enough to do it quietly, without lifting a finger. Everyone was my puppet, and they just couldn't see the strings leading back to me."
"So, what?" I ask in disbelief. "You just did the same thing here?"
"Not exactly," Alexander says, scratching his head in thought. "I mean, Cody, Elizabeth, Edward, and Jackson already knew who I was. I was just going to flat out destroy anyone who opposed me, but then I saw you."
He walks closer, crouching down to my level, and a chill creeps through me.
"An Ionian," he whispers. "At an academy for us, the ones truly worthy of being a summoner. I knew you had to have something special about you to make it here, so I played it safe. I pretended to be weak like you and your 'friends' to get close, and I ordered the nobles to follow my plans. I'm surprised it didn't work sooner."
The anger, betrayal, and hurt are too much. I was just talking to him a second ago, helping him. He's confided in me, told me so much, and all of it was just him lying? How? How is this possible? It has to be some sort of sick joke or-
"I can see you're having a hard time comprehending this," Alexander sighs. "Let me put it bluntly, then. I tricked you this whole time to figure out what made you special, and now that I know nothing is special about you, the game's over. I've won. You may have a nice bit of mana and magical prowess, but it's nothing that can't be overcome. I mean, I've outsmarted you this far, haven't I?"
"Why?" I ask, completely numb, putting all my questions into that one word.
"Well, because I was bored," Alexander answers, blinking in confusion. "And the second I saw you, I knew you would be an interesting toy. Now that I have you all figured out, well, I think it's about time I got serious."
Everything comes into focus.
My heart beats quickly, and I can feel the blood rushing through me. It doesn't stop my skin from prickling in the cool night air, even through my added layers and uniform blazer. The forest around me is dark, the rustling leaves promising danger.
The ruins I sit on are old and open, just like the clearing they lie in. I can feel Cody's murderous intent behind me, coiled and ready to strike. I can see him through the strands of black hair that obscured my vision, his smile bright and somehow sharp. He looks cruel, even from such a shrouded view, but not nearly as cruel as what crouches in front of me.
Alexander Grimtooth looks at me with intelligent eyes and a thin smile. His long blond hair wavering with the slight breeze, the only thing animated about him. I never noticed how scary it made him look until now, how only someone who seems carefree in the little things is rarely what they seem.
His smile broadens beneath his unkempt hair and the slightly offput uniform he wears.
"Ah. Reality finally sets in. It's a little too late though, don't you think?"
My throat is tight, and I couldn't talk even if I wanted to. My muscles are ready though, and I push off the edge I sit on, falling to the forest floor below. I roll as I land, breaking out into a sprint towards the academy the second I orient myself. I pump my arms, lengthen my strides, and push with all the strength I can muster in my feet.
I can barely see, and I whip through the branches, barely keeping my footing over the fallen leaves and stray rocks. It doesn't take long for my lungs to burn, and I don't bother trying to hide my gasping. All that matters is getting away, away from him and whatever his endgame is.
Void! How could I have been so blind? I should have kept more distance, shouldn't have trusted him! I thought I was being careful, not trusting anyone, so where did I go wrong? When did I choose to ignore everything I know to be true? When? How? How could I have fallen for his acting? I should have known he was lying!
Tears threaten my eyes, and I grit my teeth, throwing the pain and anger into my speed. I can't think about that now. No, I need to get away, then I can figure out the rest. I need to prepare a spell, to get ready just in case.
I start pulling together my energy, a dozen of different spells and their frameworks coming to mind right away. I start sifting through them, trying to find the right one.
A blur of motion come from behind a tree in front of me, hitting me hard and breaking my concentration. My face slams into what feels like brick, crushing against it and being stopped cold. My feet fly from underneath me, the rest of my body still in motion, and I fall, landing hard enough on my back to take the breath from me.
I blink my eyes, trying to sort through the pulsing pain coming from my face and back. I smell blood and taste copper, but none of that matters, because my eyes finally recognize the form that clotheslined me as Jackson. He lumbers towards me quickly, completely expressionless.
I suck in a gasp of air and throw my hand up at him, desperately pushing as much power as I can snatch into the first spell that comes to mind.
"Blastus," I wheeze, pushing as hard as I can to release the energy, and…
...and nothing happens.
Jackson closes the distance to me, and kicks me in the side hard enough to push me across the forest floor. I let out a choked gasp, spittle flying from my mouth as I slide away, agony pounding in my stomach as I become aware of my bruised organs.
Surprise flickers between the bouts of pain, but I still manage to scramble to my hands and knees. I feel a callous hand grip my hair roughly, and I'm pulled forward as Jackson slams my head into a tree, the bark cutting at my face and crushing my nose.
I let out another scream, this time putting more energy and focus behind the spell, trying to throw him away from me, but once again nothing happens. This time, though, I feel the spell as it begins to form, and I'm keenly aware as something, almost like a heavy blanket, smothers it before it can condense into reality.
A silencing field. They've put down some sort of silencing field.
Jackson pulls me up by my blazer and throws me, sending me rolling across the forest floor. Rocks and sticks poke and scratch me, sending more pain. I gasp, regaining my breath as I force myself to stand. Wet, hot blood drips down my face, and I taste copper. I settle my eyes on Jackson, just as he closes in range to throw a punch at my head.
I duck underneath it, and jab a fist into his side before sliding away, trying to put some distance between us. I manage to get a few paces away, searching for any sign of weakness for him.
That's when something hits the back of my knee, hard, and my leg crumples underneath me, sending me to the ground. I twist around to face behind me, biting back another scream, and I manage to make out Elizabeth and Edward just as a fist slams into my jaw and sends me spinning back to the forest floor.
This time, the pain spikes into my brain, sharp instead of dull, and my vision blurs as I fall, unable to make anything out. All I can feel is my the aching of body and bones. I try to push myself up, but a foot pushes me back to the ground. I try to crawl away, grasping at the leaves and dirt, but then a foot slams into my wrist, and I scream.
More blows start coming down on me, and I'm forced to curl up into a ball as pain becomes my world. My flesh and bones crush under the onslaught, the pain becoming stronger the tighter and tighter I hug myself.
A stomp hits my last rib with a small snap, and I see stars.
A kick sneaks it's way between my arms and legs into my stomach, and a sudden nausea robs me of direction.
The bottom of a fist slams down just in front of my ear, and I hear a sudden and shrill ringing sound.
And it goes on.
And on.
I tell time by Jackson's kicks and stomps. They're the slowest of them all, but also the most powerful, which is how I can tell they belong to him. Each one blasts away any previous definition of hurt, giving new tears to my eyes.
"Stop," a voice suddenly calls out, loud enough to even make it through the ringing echoing in my head.
The blows stop, leaving me burning with dozens of bruises and fractures, each screaming for attention. It all blurs together, and the only thing I can really make out is the blood in my mouth, and the agony of everything else.
"Against that tree," the voice commands, and I feel myself being dragged and then propped against something strong and sturdy but uncomfortable. It takes me a few moments to remember I have eyes and another few to remember how to open them, and when I do, blots of red and black block my vision.
I squint through them, and I'm eventually able to make out Alexander, Cody, Elizabeth, Edward, and Jackson standing in a semicircle around me. I wince, letting out a groan. My muscles feel far away and stiff, but at least the ringing is starting to subside. That's something. At least now I can hear the evil monologue before I die.
A laugh bubbles inside me, turning into a cough that spits blood, and it takes all I have to turn my head to the side.
"Ar-i-a," I hear Alexander call out gently, and I latch onto his voice, trying my best to focus.
"Come on, Aria," Alexander chuckles. "This was just the warmup. I'd really like it if you were coherent for what comes next."
Chuckles and laughs echo around me, and I push myself with the fiery and pain, turning my blurred thoughts into razer focus. With it comes a whole new world of pain, but I manage to shrug it off with a gasp and another push. I blink my eyes a few more times before turning back to Alexander with a snarl.
"And we have life!" Alexander laughs from where he crouches a mere inches from me. "Atta girl."
I spit, a few drops of blood landing on his face. He just smiles more before standing up to his full height.
"Sorry about the overwhelming nature of the beating," Alex says, absently wiping the blood away. "But I just couldn't have you running away again. Besides, you can take it, right?"
"I hope," I spit, ignoring the itchy feeling of the blood in my throat. "The crows pick your bones clean."
"Hmm," Alex says, looking over at Cody. "You sure you beat her enough?"
Cody steps forward and throws a punch with a wild grin, and I try to block it. My arms are slow to respond, and it smashes into my face, sending me back to the forest floor. I slowly reach down after I'm sure nothing else is coming, and push myself back up into a sitting position, leaning once again against the tree.
"You ready to be civil now?" Alexander asks, raising an eyebrow.
I grunt, too tired to do anything else. Maybe egging on five Noxians in a dark forest isn't the best idea I've had all night, but void it felt good.
"Now," Alexander continues. "Before we get to the finale, I just wanted to know if you had any questions?"
"Yeah," I slur. "How'd you know I'd come out here?"
"Ionians love to help people," Alexander says with a shrug. "After all my sob stories and fake tears, I could practically feel your inner turmoil without even having to look at you. I just had to count on either Seth or my letter to push you over the edge. A few covert letters to my comrades here, and the trap was set."
"Seth?" I hiss, slowly gaining control over my body through the pain. "You expect me to believe you could account for all his actions?"
"No, but it really isn't that hard to figure out what kind of person he is," Alexander laughs. "He's the sort of guy who still believes in honor and all that idealistic nonsense. Add in a damsel, and it's pretty obvious he's just another straightforward, brutish white knight. I knew he'd heroically try to protect you the only way he knew how, which meant sacrificing any friendship you might have had to take me out, and in the process, he drove you right into my hands. He's not much for the social game."
"At least he's not a lying snake like you," I murmur.
"I mean, that's true," he says. "But at least the rest of your so called allies are."
My breath catches, this time completely unrelated to my injuries, and Alexander laughs.
"Sorry to crush your hopes that I'm the only traitor," he chuckles. "But I'm afraid you're not nearly as safe as you thought."
"You're lying," I whisper, shaking my head.
"What?" Alexander asks, raising an eyebrow. "Do you want me to tell you how each and every one of your allies has betrayed you?"
I clench my teeth, staring at him, challenging him, and he lets out a sigh, crouching back down on his haunches.
"Well, Seth's anger pushed you towards me," he says, picking up a stick. "He wanted so bad to protect you and to hurt me, that he ended up doing neither. So your trust in me can really be traced back to him."
He starts picking off the smaller branches that are growing off the stick, snapping them easily away.
"Next we've got Xander. Oh man was that a good one. I mean, he knew all along what poison you had taken and he said nothing. I mean, he didn't poison you, but he also didn't fess up to being the source even if he had nothing to do with me stealing it. That's how I did it, by the way. I took some when we first entered Xander's lab and added to your cupcake, which was pretty easy considering I told the chef to make yours special."
He rips the leaves from the stick, and I feel a cold fear begin sneaking its way into me.
"Devon helped a lot," Alexander continues. "I mean, he basically absolved me by telling you who had the potential to steal from Xander. That was a little tricky, but turned out great. He's so sure of himself just because he survived on the street that he didn't even consider he was missing something, that the person who stole the poison had been with you when you first entered. He just assumed you would have noticed because he would have."
He skins the stick, peeling the bark with careful, practiced motions.
"Finally we have Molly. Molly Rennes. I'm not entirely sure what her game is, but I've gotta say, I'm impressed. I mean, just finding out that there was no house Rennes in Noxus was difficult enough, so she's got some serious backers hiding her true identity. She acts all weak and friendly, but those fighting skills aren't something a diplomat's daughter just picks up. Well, whoever she really is, it's fairly clear she's been lying this whole time to everyone. I'm just can't wait to see what part she's really playing."
Alexander pushes against the stick ever so slightly with his thumbs, and it snaps loudly, splinters flying from the break.
I shudder looking away.
"Why should I believe you?" I ask numbly, even though everything he says screams truth to me.
"Because every good villain reveals the hero's slow downfall before they finish them off, and I want you to know just how many small steps I took to ensure yours, even down to the magic nullifying circle I set up before you came out here tonight."
I want to vomit. I want to crawl away and find somewhere dark to cry until I fall asleep. I want to forget all of this like it's a bad dream. I want it to just be over.
"So what?" I spit, mustering up what little fight I have left. "Is this the part where you kill me?"
"Woa," Alexander says, raising his hands in surprise. "Who said anything about killing? Doing something like that would draw way too much attention, and dealing with the fallout from this will be annoying enough as is. Besides, I still need to show tell you how you betrayed yourself."
He reaches a hand out, and Elizabeth hands him a book. He grabs it and pushes it towards me with an expectant smile.
"Recognize this?" Alexander asks gleefully.
I squint forcing myself to make out the lettering, to read the title.
Runes, Marks, and Sigils: A Complete Guide to Every Type of Magical Seal.
My heart and stomach drop at the same time, leaving cold despair in their wake.
How did he know? How could he?
"See," Alexander laughs. "I knew it! Not only did you betray yourself by trusting Noxians, but you even helped me figure out how to get rid of you and your singular talent. See, I purposefully bought as many books from that store you showed us way back when hoping something would get a reaction out of you. I almost shouted in victory when I saw your reaction picking this up when you were 'helping' me sort through books."
I clench my teeth harder and harder, ignoring the pain from my jaw and face. I squeeze my eyes shut, not wanting to look at that book anymore, and I can't stop the tears from escaping.
"At first, I thought this might be some sort of key to your magic or whatever was making you have so much more mana than the rest of us," Alexander continues. "But I couldn't find anything. So I started looking for another reason you would react the way you did, why you looked so sick and afraid and tried to cover it up."
He opens the book, and I look to see him pointing at a picture on one of the pages. It's a symbol of what looks like a cross with the horizontal bar bent on either end to point diagonally up. It's a simple symbol, but one that hold more meaning that it should. One that chills me to the bone, that makes me remember.
"A book of magical seals," Alexander finishes, savoring every moment. "That even contains one capable of sealing away someone's mana. One that could stop them from casting spells. It's hidden in the subtext pretty well, but that's why you were so afraid of the book, because it held the one thing that could take away what makes you so special."
My head pounds, and I don't even bother trying to control my ragged breathing. I just stare at him, letting the hatred build inside me.
"It took some creative thinking to work it out. I mean, it's meant to seal away rogue magics from escaping an area, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized there was no reason it couldn't be applied to a person with something like, oh, I don't know, paint maybe?"
I didn't notice Edward disappear, but I certainly see him when he comes back, setting down a metal bucket with a long thin brush in it next to Alexander. Alexander picks up the brush gently, dabbing it a few times before lifting, revealing it's Noxian red bristles.
"So, where do you want your new tattoo?" he asks, scarlet dripping from the brush. "Don't worry, this paint is only enchanted to last a week. That will be more than enough time for you to get kicked from this academy and sent to wherever trash like you goes. You won't say anything about who did it, of course, because no one would believe you anyway. I mean, I am your trusted friend, after all."
I look up at him, my gaze drifting between him and the other four.
I'm almost immobile with pain and bruises, kicked and beaten to the point I don't know I could walk if I wanted to. Here I am, in so much pain I have to force myself not to vomit, and they're asking me where I want my death mark.
It's too much, so I start to laugh.
I wish it felt better, but all I feel are jabs of pain, taking my breath away. I don't care though, and I fill my laugh with all my scorn and hate. I laugh away the memories of the alleyway, of the pain and the mud. I laugh, hysterical over how cruel this world is, how callous and full of deadly patterns it is. The absurdity of all this makes me nauseous, but I'm tired of crying so I just laugh.
It doesn't feel good. Void, it makes it hard to breathe, but that's fine.
Maybe it will afterwards.
"Why don't you put it on my back?" I giggle. "It would look great there."
Everyone seems a little put off by my laughter except Alexander, who just slowly stands, his eyes suddenly shrouded in thought.
"Alright," Alexander nods. "Cody, your knife please?"
I turn myself around, sitting between my legs and resting my head against the tree my eyes closed. This is the last thing I want. It feels like my heart is tearing itself apart, but it's not like I have a choice. I might as well give away my last secret, the one that gives me nightmares and keeps me up at night.
I feel Alexander grab the top, back of my blazer and shirt, and then there's a loud rip as he starts cutting, outlining the entirety of my back. He slices a few more places until the back of my blazer and shirt finally fall away, and then I hear him stumble away in surprise.
There's a deep silence, and I shiver as the cold works its way down my spine. My body aches, and I close my eyes.
"What the-" Jackson whispers.
"Bloody stars," Edward gasps. "How is that even…?"
There's the sound of quick steps behind me followed by the sound of someone retching, and the soft coughs that follow tell me it's Elizabeth.
I slowly turn my tired head, enough to atleast see them with one eye. Jackson looks like he's uncomfortable, barely controlling his disgust. Edward looks lost, suddenly unsure, while his sister is now a few steps away, doubled over. Cody keeps his smile, but the look in his eyes is confused, like he's not sure what's going on anymore.
Alexander, of them all, just looks mildly surprised, his eyes wide and mouth slightly agape.
"You can't hurt me," I whisper, struggling to even stay awake. "No one can. Not anymore."
Alexander turns around and starts pacing, putting his hands on the back of his head as he thinks, his steps slowly getting faster and faster.
"This changes nothing," Cody says suddenly, his voice almost urgent.
"Cody, let me think," Alexander mumbles, eyes narrowing in concentration.
"We can always just kill her, right?" Cody asks, sounding almost hopeful.
"Cody, say another word, and I'm going to break two of your fingers."
My eyes flicker, closing, and I let out a sigh. My heart still pounds, but the adrenaline can only do so much to keep me awake after such a beating. I need to stay awake, somehow, so I roll back over, leaning my back against the tree once more. The bark pokes me uncomfortably, but I don't really care enough to do anything about it.
"Everyone," Alexander finally says, looking over at me with dark eyes. "We're leaving. Jackson, break her leg. She can barely move in her condition as is, and that will insure she's found out here. That will be enough for Sadon to get her kicked from the academy."
"Wait, what?" Cody shouts. "That's it? We just leave her here?"
"We don't have a choice," Alexander growls. "Now come on. We have to get back before anyone notices."
I see Jackson step over to me, lifting his leg high to stomp on my knee. I feebly move my left leg away so he has a clear target, and I see a flicker of hesitation cross his face.
"Do it," Alexander orders, already walking away.
His foot slams down and is followed by a popping and crunch. Pain becomes my world, and I can vaguely feel myself screaming, even if I can't hear it. My vision explodes into scarlet, and a few seconds later it darkens to blackness that washes away everything.
When I come to, everything feels stiff and painful. The injuries from my beating still ache and pound against my consciousness, but my now shattered knee screams loud enough to drown most of it out, driving icepicks of agony into my head. It takes me a few tries to open up my eyes, but when I do, I can already tell time has passed. The forest is dark, but with that pre-morning light that warns of the incoming sunrise.
My vision blurs, as I scan over the forest floor. The memories of what happened a few hours ago play over and over again, and I let out a groan, trying to focus.
"You didn't think it was over with just yet, did you?" a voice says, and my eyes snap open.
Cody sits on one knee close to me, holding a dagger in front of me. The blade gleams, and I feel my heart pick up again.
Oh you've got to be kidding me.
"Sorry," Cody says, sounding anything but. "I just couldn't let an opportunity like this pass me up. I mean, the faces of your so called friends when they find your still warm corpse will be priceless. Well, if they even look for you, that is. It is a free day, after all."
He spins the dagger in his hand, stopping when the tip finally points towards my stomach. Then he slowly starts pushing it closer and closer, grinning the whole time.
No, no, no, no. I did not come this far just to die like this. I did not endure last night, give away the one thing I wanted nobody to find out just to be stabbed to death by Cody. It can't end. Not like this.
Images of Mom, Zane, and Akira flash through my head, strength blossoming inside of me through the pain. I reach up, grabbing onto his hand with both of my own, and push against him. The dagger wavers as I manage to stop it short, pitting what little strength I have left against him.
"So she does have some fight left," Cody smiles. "Fun."
He reaches with his other hand, two handing the dagger, and pushes once again. I strain myself, my wounded muscles screaming in pain, but no matter how hard I try the dagger nears closer and closer. The tip touches my blazer, and he starts pushing harder and harder.
I let out a gasp of desperation, quickly switching from pushing against his hands to grabbing the blade itself, wrapping my hands around the sharp metal and pushing against my side of the hilt. Tears fall down my cheeks, and I let out an inadvertent whine of pain as the edges cut into my fingers and palms, opening burning hot and wet lines of pain.
"That's right!" Cody urges, his eyes glowing. "Fight it!"
The dagger pokes closer and closer, no matter how I adjust my grips or push. My eyes are locked with its progress, and I see as it finally cuts through the blazer and subsequent shirt underneath, the cold metal now poking at the soft flesh of my stomach.
"Now," Cody exhales. "Die!"
I feel him exert more force, and the dagger slides into my belly slowly.
I can feel the metal crawling into me, and I let out a surprised gasp. The wound burns like only cuts can, and the deeper he stabs the blade into me the more pain I feel as my flesh is slowly cut apart.
I let out a silent scream, unable to draw any actual breath without affecting the knife. Eventually, he starts to draw it out, some of the cold agony disappearing when it finally leaves. I stare down at my stomach, reaching down with my hands as blood bubbles from the wound, soaking through my clothes quickly.
"You sure you want to do that?" Cody asks, and I look up in surprise.
He moves quickly, this time unhindered by my attempts, and stabs me again, close to the first wound.
I almost faint, almost black out from the sheer surprise, but I manage to keep myself barely focused, regaining my focus as he pulls the blade out and attempts another strike. I get my hands around it once again, but my blood makes the blade slippery in my sliced hands, and it becomes obvious just how much he's toying with me when he stabs me once again, just as slowly as the first time.
A thousand unsaid curses and ways of begging for mercy bubble from my mouth incoherently as I desperately try to stop him. My arms weaken from fighting, eventually falling away as he stabs me again and again. Each one just as slow as the first, making sure I feel every last moment of agony.
I don't want to die. I want to see my brothers, tell them how sorry I am. I want to feel my mom's warm embrace, hear her rich laugh just one more time. Please, I don't want to-
"Who are you?" I hear Cody call out, and I blink, forcing myself to fight through the sharp, burning pangs of mind numbing torment.
Everything is hazy, but it's enough to see someone standing there, Cody rising to face them. It's one of those people, the ones with the red cloaks. The cloak falls lightly on the form, meaning it must be a woman, and something about her and her shrouded, scarf covered face looks familiar.
"Last chance," I barely hear her soft voice say, tinged with enough anger to let it reach my ears. "Step away."
That's when I place her, the woman who was there after Jackson choked me unconscious in the duel. The woman with the haunted eyes whose lap I woke up on.
"I guess today's just my lucky day," Cody snarls suddenly, lunging at her with his bloody dagger.
I barely feel it, but something akin to magical energy burst from the woman. She literally blurs, dodging past and underneath Cody in a flash of emerald energy. Cody seems surprised, but moves quickly, twirling to catch her back.
Another green blur flashes into existence as she steps away, easily dodging him. He lets out another shout, and stabs forward, rushing at her with all his speed.
I see her jump, doing a flip over Cody, the beautiful green energy following her movements as she elegantly lands behind him, leaving him in stunned stillness.
Cody reaches a hand to his face, facing her in surprised anger, and it's only then I notice the small knife she's drawn from the folds of her cloak, blood dripping from it.
"If she dies, you die," the woman whispers, her words more of a promise than a threat.
Cody looks between her and me, thinking through his options. I would hold my breath, but it hurts too much, and so I just watch instead. After what seems like an eternity, Cody lowers the dagger with a snarl, and turns, sprinting into the forest.
The figure wastes no time, the knife disappearing into the folds of her cloak as she rushes to me, picking me up in her arms. There's a surprising strength and gentleness to her. I almost scream when her arm snakes under my shattered knee, but it only comes out a groan. She still seems to notice, though, and adjusts her carry of me, making it slightly more comfortable.
"This is going to hurt," I hear her say, looking at me with her haunting brown eyes.
I stare up at her, just now noticing few wisps of snow white hair that have escaped from her shrouded face. I'm too tired to nod, so I just lean my head into her arm, bracing myself. She's warm, and her gentleness soothes me.
Then she starts sprinting.
Everything blurs, and I let myself be carried away by her until eventually the jarring shocks of pain fade into some sort of normalcy, something I can at least talk through.
"Why?" I find myself mumbling. "Why do you keep helping me? Can't you see I'm broken?"
I don't expect her to answer. Void, I know I'm at least coherent enough to know I'm half crazy with pain and exhaustion. The amount of blood soaking me isn't exactly comforting either, and I'm sure I would be worried about it if I was thinking clearly.
"Because," her voice says softly. "What is broken can be reforged."
I scrunch my eyes, confused, but before I can say anything we come to a sudden stop. She starts putting me down, careful to let me lean against her. I don't understand until I look around and realize we're at the edge of the forest, at the last part shrouded from sight.
"This is as far as I can take you," She says, her voice quick and urgent. "I'm sorry. For everything. They've crossed the line, I know, but focus on surviving, and when the time comes… don't be afraid to fight back."
"Violence to end violence?" I ask barely understanding even what I'm saying.
She pauses, choosing her next words carefully.
"There is no other way," she finally says. "Because they cannot go unpunished."
With that, she all but vanishes, disappearing back into the forest. I want to fall down, to give in to my aching body, but I force myself to step forward, limping along. I press my hands back to the warm, sticky blood still flowing from my stomach, trying to stop the bleeding as much as I can. It hurts. Everything hurts so much.
Eventually, I reach the part of the forest where the leaves clear away, opening up the the academy. Relief floods through me, especially when I see figures standing around a hundred meters away. Their voices carry in the cool morning air.
"I'm telling you she didn't just leave!" I hear one shout, his back towards me to face the other three. "Alex did something to her, I know it! This is the only place he could get away with something, so either help me search for her or get out of my way!"
The shouting figure finally turns around, and I barely can make out Seth and his black hair. It takes him a second to fully realize what he's seeing, and his mouth opens.
"Aria!" he shouts, sprinting towards me, the others following, but not nearly as fast.
Relief floods through me, and with that, my strength finally leaves me. I fall, landing on my left knee before landing face down in the dirt. Loud steps reach me a moment later, and I hear someone saying "no" over and over again. Someone else cries, and I feel a hand grab my shoulder.
"Her back, oh my god her back," Molly weeps.
"There's so much blood," Xander whispers. "She… she's going to be alright? Right? Right?"
"Devon!" he screams, his voice wild. "Get a medic! Get Fairfax! Get someone! Hurry!"
I hear him bound away as someone carefully rolls me over, drawing a cry of pain as my knees bump each other. Someone presses their hands to my abdomen. People start saying things, but all I feel is cold, something I haven't felt in a very, very long time.
Everything starts to fade away, the only thing running through my head the final words I exchanged with the woman in red.
They've crossed the line...
Violence to end violence...
They cannot go unpunished…
The phrases repeat through my mind, and it's the last thing I hear before everything goes dark, hopefully for the last time.