A/N: The usual disclaimer, I do not own the Harry Potter franchise, all credit goes to J K Rowling. Secondly, I would like to apologise for several things. The first one is the late update on this story which leads me to the second apology -this is late because nothing I wrote was of any acceptable quality and this chapter may also be of unacceptable quality. This is mainly because I had a serious case of writer's block.. Yeah, I know, excuses, excuses... Anyways, enjoy!

JAMES' P.O.V

Lily and I pull apart after what seems like seconds but is more likely minutes perhaps even hours. The minute we part, I want to kiss her again. She goes red and I wonder why. Is she embarrassed?

"We should –" she starts but stops herself.

I break the silence and kiss her again, fire burning inside me. Her arms reach around my neck and my hands slide around her waist. The position just seems so right, like we fit perfectly together. Then I realise that we do, being soul mates. Then I remember the Epiphany of the Soul. Should I tell her? Lily notices that I'm a little distracted and frowns, studying my face anxiously.

"Did I do something wrong?" she asks, the worry in her voice almost makes me laugh.

"No, of course not. You're wonderful, you know that, Lily?"

"No, I'm not, James," she sighs. "My parents are dead, my sister hates me, Severus –" she stops herself.

"What about Snivellus?"

"Nothing," she says quickly. "We should go back."

I want to push her further, ask her more but I can't bring myself to do it. I take her hand and we walk back down the path. I wonder if her heart's racing as much as mine. I've always been relatively cool around girls but with Lily… she makes my tongue wrap around itself and I can't form words. It's so irritating. We're about to be within sight of the house when Lily turns to me.

"James, I don't know about you but I don't want to tell everybody straight away."

"Why not? Are you ashamed of us or something?"

"No, of course not! It's just. I don't know. I'm not ready for that, everybody talking about it."

"They won't, they're all too wrapped up in their own lives to care."

"You know them, they'll all be saying 'I told you so' and I'm going to mess this up, James. I'm not good at keeping the people I love safe and happy. I can't do it James, not yet."

I exhale, but I don't contradict her because maybe she isn't ready. I'd be a heartless person it force her to tell everybody after she's just found out her parents are dead. I guess I forgot because she's handling it well. I think.

"We'll tell them when we're both ready, Lily. I'm not going to make you do anything you don't want to."

She smiles weakly. We head up to the house and when we're almost at the door; Lily slips her hand out of mine. I have a half a mind to kiss her again but I don't. Marlene answers the door, her face sick with worry. When she sees Lily, she practically cries with relief and hugs Lily.

"We didn't know where you went! We were so worried and just after… Oh Merlin, I'm so sorry Lily. Come inside. MRS POTTER! LILY'S HERE!"

She puts her arm around me and leads Lily inside. Nobody even acknowledges me. When I reach the kitchen, I see my mother putting a cup of herbal tea in front of Lily who's wearing a blanket on top of all her other layers even though it's August. My mother shoos Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and I out of the kitchen so she can look after Lily. I try to protest but my mother isn't having it so instead I smile at Lily and follow Moony out.

"Where d'you go, Prongs?" Padfoot asks, his eyebrows stitched together.

"With Lily. She needed someone to talk to and I was prepared to listen."

"And she let you?" Moony says, miffed.

"Yes, I can be charming."

"Not with Lily, you can't," Moony scowls.

"What's your problem, Moony?"

"Nothing. I'm just surprised. Lily doesn't normally come to you for advice or to listen."

"You thought she'd come to you," I glower at him, murderously.

"No, but –"

"But that's what you meant, wasn't it? Why would Lily consult me, when she could consult you?"

"Now, now, gentlemen," Padfoot steps between us, "may I remind you that our darling Lily-flower has just lost her parents. If we could sort out this trivial disagreement later, it would be much appreciated. Neither of you are helping Lily by arguing. Just snap out of it and start acting like men. Lily needs support, people don't just 'get over' things, you know. She'll need time to heal."

"Seeing as you're the expert, Padfoot, what do you suggest we do?" Moony says irritably.

"I didn't claim to be the bloody expert, I'm just stating the obvious –like I normally do. Let's all go down to that coffee shop place in the town. We can get a drink, socialise. It might distract her at least."

"If you're so clever," Moony says and Padfoot rolls his eyes, "then why are we distracting her?"

"You expect Evans to talk about her feelings to bunch of guys whom she has hated for years because they cause nothing but trouble? I thought you were supposed to be the smart one, Moony."

"I just meant that she might want to talk about it."

"When you lose your parents, the last thing you want to do is talk about it. That comes later when you've accepted the whole thing and got over the shock."

"You haven't lost your parents, Padfoot," Wormtail points out.

"They're as good as dead to me," Padfoot snaps.

We stand in silence for a while.

"Where is she going to stay now that her house is burnt down?" Wormtail pipes up after the long stretch of awkwardness.

"I don't know, Wormtail." I say, wearily.

"You mean you haven't offered her to stay here? You know your parents wouldn't mind."

"No, they'd be ecstatic but she might not want to stay here," I say, uneasily.

"Of course she will," Padfoot dismisses.

At that moment, Lily comes out of the kitchen. She looks at all of us and cocks her head to the side. We all go red, like you do when the person you're talking about turns up.

"Hello," she says.

We mumble greetings and Marlene comes out. She strides up to Padfoot, laces her hand in his and kisses him straight on the lips.

"See you later," she says before turning around.

Both she and Lily walk off to the garden to enjoy the evening sun. We turn and stare at Padfoot. Padfoot blushes. It looks like I'm not the only one in love.

LILY'S P.O.V

Marlene and I walk into the garden. Alice joins us and we just relax and talk. I try to ignore the feeling inside me which feels like I'm ripping apart. I'm determined not to fall apart; I'll only have to pull myself together again which would be even more painful.

"I love Sirius," Mar says after what feels like forever.

"Long time coming," Alice huffs. "Now all we need is Lily to admit she loves James and the world will be at peace."

I look down at the floor and then at the sky. The sun goes down and stars come out. I look for the brightest two and smile to myself. If only Petunia were here with me, to share this. Maybe my parents are in the sky, watching us. Or maybe not. Maybe they're decomposing in the Ministry of Magic. Still, I miss my sister and I miss my parents.

"Are you okay Lily?" Mar asks. I exhale, not certain how to answer.

My standard answer would be 'fine thanks, you?' even if I don't feel fine. If you say you're not okay, then you have to explain and how can I possibly explain the feeling of the sky on my shoulders? Saying 'fine thanks, you?' is just so much easier. But I don't feel not-fine, I feel worse than that. I feel like my life has been torn to shreds and every living thing is an excruciating reminder of my loss. It doesn't even feel real, it's all a bit much. Too much all at once.

"Sorry, that was insensitive. Of course you're not okay," Mar curses to herself. "I'm not really good with this stuff, Lil. I've never lost anybody and I can't even imagine what it's like… I know you're sick of hearing this, but I am sorry. Not pity, I don't pity you. Who would ever pity Lily Evans? The prettiest and most talented witch in our school? No, I don't pity you, I just don't think its fair you're in this position and I can't do anything about it and I'm sorry that I'm not omnipotent."

I crack a smile. "Thanks, Mar."

We slide back into silence. Alice picks up a daisy and lets the petals fly off in the wind, Mar picks at her nail polish and I watch a bird fly to its nest.

"Amos asked me to marry him," Alice says.

We blink at her stunned.

"What?" Mar splutters.

"He asked me to marry him," she repeats.

"When?"

"A few days ago, he wrote me a really long and compassionate letter about what the future and what it could hold for us."

"And what, he just wrote 'will you marry me?' in a letter?" Mar says, incredulous.

"No, of course not! He just implied that that was what he was thinking. He wants to meet up in the nearby village. You know, the one the Marauders were talking about. I think he's going to ask me then."

"Wow, Alice! That's great!" Mar says, smiling and Alice looks at the floor. Mar's smile drops off of her face. "It is great, isn't it?"

Alice starts to cry. I look at Marlene, perplexed. She mirrors my expression.

"But it was going fine with him, you said –" Mar begins.

"Well I lied! I don't think I want this."

"What? But you've always loved him and you said things were going so well. You seemed to mean it. What's the problem exactly?" I ask her.

"I feel bad talking about this, Lily. Like my problems are worse than other people's problems and you've just lost your parents… No, I didn't want to say anything about the letter because it seemed stupid and I don't want to talk about it now because –this is vacuous. Talking about this. I just need to tell him."

"But Alice, you haven't said why you're not going to say yes," Mar says.

"Oh. Well I thought it was obvious, I don't want to be married. I don't even know if I love him anymore."

"How can you suddenly not love someone?"

"I don't know, it was gradual. I guess I never really loved him, he loved me. I was in love with being in love. He loved me, he thought I was beautiful, how could I turn that down? I thought that I'd learn to love him but –well, I want to try something different."

"So you're just going to say no?" I look at her, astonished.

"Of course not, I'll make him break up with me."

"How're you going to do that? He's enamoured of you!"

"Yes, but if he sees me doing something crazy, then maybe he'll break up with me."

"I think you're deranged, Alice. He'll never let you go. Besides, why don't you break up with him? He had that thing with Dorcas and he shouted at you. You said he was going to make the break-up look gradual. What about all the fights you had?"

"I know. He's nice, but he cares a lot about being seen as nice –you know, a good guy. He is and he deserves better. He should go out with Dorcas."

"Did he tell you that he broke it off with Dorcas?" I ask.

"No," her eyebrows stitch together. "What if he never did?"

"But if he never broke it off with Dorcas, then why would he ask you to marry him?" Mar points out.

"Unless…" Alice runs back to the mansion.

Marlene and I look at each other.

"I can't believe that. Amos and Alice."

"What do you mean?"

"Well it's hardly a match made in heaven, is it?" Mar says.

"No, but she seemed happy."

"Please," Mar snorts. "That girl hasn't been in a proper relationship. I'll bet he still has a thing going with Dorcas."

"You want them to break up?"

"It's what's best."

I think that over. Could everything change just because that's what's best? Alice comes rushing out of the mansion.

"IT WASN'T FOR ME!" she shouts, slightly shaken.

"What wasn't for you?" I ask as she gets close enough to hear me.

"T-the letter! It wasn't addressed to me! I just assumed… I didn't read the start of it. It was addressed to Dorcas."

I look at Mar and we share a look.

"What?" Alice asks.

"So he asked Dorcas to marry him, not you?"

"Yeah! He must have sent me the letter addressed to Dorcas," Alice says miserably.

"Hang on, isn't this a good thing? You wanted him to break up with you."

"Are you mad? That was because I thought he wanted me to marry him. Now I want to break up with him and not the other way around. He can't cheat on me, not after everything we've been through. I'm sending him a howler."

Alice stalks away, the steam practically radiating off of her.

"I'm glad I'm not him," Mar mutters. I can't help agreeing with her. I stand up and walk with Mar to the mansion.

"So, what's your deal with James," Mar says.

"Erm. Complicated," I say truthfully.

"I see," Mar gives me a knowing look. I want to ask her what she means by that, but I don't.

Mar and I go up the stairs and part our separate ways. I go into my room and get changed into my pyjamas. I'm just about to get into bed when there's a knock on my door.

"Hello? Who is it?"

"It's James."

My heart pounds against my chest. "Come in."

He comes in, wearing an extremely cocky grin. I smile and my stomach feels like it's doing flips. He steps closer and puts his hands on my waist. I wrap my arms around his neck and I kiss him.

"I just came to see how you're doing," he breathes against my skin.

"It's not me you should be worried about, Alice is on a rampage."

"Oh?"

"Yeah, it turns out Amos still has a thing with Dorcas."

"That's unfortunate, I feel sorry for him. Almost."

I smile at that. He kisses me again and the kisses become more passionate. I don't want to say 'snogging', that sounds too casual. In fact, when he pulls away, it takes all my strength to not kiss him again.

"Well… it's late. Good night, Lily," James turns to go.

"James, wait!" he turns around. "I-I wanted-what I'm trying to say is…"

I suspire in frustration. James smirks a little.

"Yeah me too, Lily, me too."

He walks away, I'm a little disappointed he didn't stay longer but I do need time to think and process everything that's happened. I don't know how James knows what I mean when I can't even get the words out myself, but he does. I wouldn't say I loved him, at least not yet, but… but, there's definitely maybe something there.