A Series of Unfortunate Events

Chapter 8

Sharon kissed Bella's little head and started to reach for her medicine from the diaper bag and a bib from the Walmart bag. Rusty saw his mother wince, and started to try to anticipate what she needed and then pushed them close enough that she wasn't going to hurt herself reaching for them. She laid the baby down on the kitchen table and as she did this she murmured to her. Bella cooed and stuck her fingers in Sharon's mouth and Sharon blew on them, making Bella chuckle. She placed a bib around her neck to give her the antibiotics and baby Motrin with a syringe. Bella sputtered but swallowed. "This will make these bad ears feel better little one," she said. Then she put the eardrops in her ears, talking to her the whole time. She lifted her into her arms and held her against her chest, then she headed in the direction of the red and yellow upholstered rocking chair next to the patio doors. As she did so the full implications of what Rusty had revealed, hit her. She turned and raised her eyebrows.

Andy saw it and asked, "What? You do know! We talked about this."

"Yes, but apparently you downplayed a few things about this encounter…" She tilted her head down to look over her glasses at looked at his shoes then back up at Sharon. "I may have, but you were very ill and I didn't want to upset you anymore than I had to."

Rusty could see this becoming an argument so he broke in and tried to diffuse the situation. "Don't be mad at Andy, Mom. If it hadn't been him it would have been me or scary Sanchez or Mike or Nolan. If Provenza had been there he would have chewed the ear off the guy or for that matter, Ricky or Emily would have. We were all pretty ticked at the guy."

"Hmmm, did you hit him?" she asked Andy sternly.

"Well, no I didn't, but… I'll admit it was because Sanchez and Nolan wouldn't let me." Andy said looking embarrassed at the admission

Surprised Sharon exclaimed, "Andy!"

Thinking that for all their sakes it would be prudent to change the subject Rusty said, "Hey, you two, listen, it's close to 1 in the morning not a good time for arguing."

"Rusty, we're not really arguing…" Sharon rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, right. Listen I was thinking, why don't we put Bella in my room tonight and we'll take turns? I'll keep her the first two nights to give you a chance to rest and then you can have her for two nights until we go back home or until we move into our new house."

Sharon was happy that Rusty was willing to take care of his sister, but she was also a little reluctant to part with the baby. Bella was still awake and so Sharon wanted to cuddle her a little, while she was going to sleep. "Rusty, are you sure?" she asked again.

"Yes." He shrugged, "I'm probably not going to sleep much anyway."

"Well… okay, you go put the crib in your room, please, and take the pink and yellow sleep sack and the little pink and yellow cap that we got from Walmart, and get it ready so I can slip her in it easily once she goes to sleep. I'm going to rock her for a few minutes."

Sharon took the few steps toward the patio doors and the rocker, which she'd been heading to when she turned to confront Andy. She sank down into the upholstered rocker and began to rock, watching as the baby slowly relaxed, closed her eyes and stuck her thumb in her mouth. Rusty did what he was told and put the crib in his room, the sleep sack in the middle of the crib unzipped, and waiting for its occupant. Then he came back to find Sharon and Andy watching the baby falling asleep while Sharon rocked her. Andy was holding Bella's tiny hand looking at her tiny fingernails. Rusty felt ever so slightly jealous in that moment. Up until now, Sharon's focus had been almost always been on him except when her older kids were in town. Now his sister captivated her and after losing his "other mother," he wasn't sure he wanted to share Sharon's attention even with his little sister. He immediately felt guilty, for those feelings. He was sure Dr. Joe would say that Sharon had enough love for both of them, and besides he was a man now, he didn't need as much of her attention as Bella did. However, in spite of those thoughts, he cleared his throat to get their attention. "You don't have to do this, you know," he said looking down at his feet.

"Do what, honey?" Sharon asked distractedly, as she looked down at the baby in her arms. She was captivated by the different expressions on Bella's face as she slept. It had been two or three lifetimes ago, since she rocked Emily and Ricky when they were this small.

"I said, you don't have to rock her. At least not tonight. It's really late and you should be getting your rest! I mean... she didn't get rocked at the Lewises, it's not as as if she'll miss it."

"Oh? What was her bedtime routine then?" Sharon said with sad curiosity still looking down at the baby.

He listed them off, "well, they'd give her a bottle, give her a bath and put her to bed. If she cried they'd try to ignore it until she stopped crying and fell asleep. If she continued to cry they would drive her around in the car until she fell asleep and my other mother… well she never rocked her either, or me when I was her age. At least not that I know of."

Sharon looked up, shocked. Tears of sadness pricked the back of her eyes as she pictured a small baby boy who never got rocked or cuddled. She supposed she'd always suspected this could be true, but never really thought too hard about it, for fear her heart would break. She kept telling herself that she couldn't fix Rusty's past for him, she could only help him with his future. She swallowed the lump in her throat and tried to give Sharon Beck the benefit of the doubt. "Well, honey, I'm very sorry that you don't remember being rocked but most people don't remember anything that happened before the age of five. Perhaps your mother did rock you and you just don't remember. Every baby deserves to be cuddled and rocked," she said sadly.

"We never had more than the bare essentials when I grew up." He thought for a second, then shrugged, "and I don't remember ever seeing a rocking chair, in any of the places we lived. Anyway, the point I was trying to make here is that I survived not being rocked my whole life, she could survive one night."

"Rusty, you told me that your mom was a good mom before you turned eleven and that things didn't go bad until she got involved with people who got her into drugs." Sharon knew from experience that addiction changed a person. "You may have had to live with the bare minimum, but perhaps your mother rocked you without a rocking chair. A lot of mothers just naturally sway back and forth when they're holding their babies, I know I did."

"You rocked your kids?" he asked knowing the answer. After all the evidence was right there in front of him, but he wanted to hear about it anyway.

"Oh yes!" She said nodding as she remembered fondly. "They spent all day at daycare, because I had to work, so we looked forward to our time together at night . Rocking was part of our nightly routine, which included, dinnertime, bath time, then story time and nursing or bottle time in the rocker, from the day they were born until they were too big to fit on my lap." Chuckling at the memory , Sharon joked " Ricky jokes that I'd still be doing it today, but he put his foot down and said he would rather go shag baseballs with his friends." Andy chuckled at her joke and Rusty even seemed amused. Sharon looked down at Bella, "this little one may not have been rocked before, but from now on Bella Esme Beck-Flynn will be cuddled and rocked every night, either by me, Andy or you. See, she likes it and is already asleep."

Rusty nodded, " Okay I'll go along with that, I can see it seems to make a difference. She was never this calm at the Lewises. Hmm, Bella Esme Beck-Flynn? Is that going to be her name now?"

"We'd like it to be. That is If… if you don't mind?" Sharon asked uncertainly. "If you want it to stay Beck, I'll ... try to understand, but at the same time, please remember that when I adopted you, you were eighteen and had the name Beck your whole life. Then there's the fact that you were trying to reassure your other mom that you weren't trying to erase her by letting me adopt you," Sharon smiled at the memory. "If you remember you didn't like the name Rusty Raydor you thought it sounded like a cartoon character," she chuckled. Rusty smiled and nodded. "But this situation is different, Rusty. I'll be the only mother Bella remembers and Andy will be the only father she remembers. It might confuse her if she doesn't have the same name as us. It might... make her feel like she doesn't belong."

Rusty thought for a few moments. "I know how that feels, it's not a good feeling." Then realizing the full meaning of what she said, he asked. "So, you're going to take Andy's name? You are going to be Commander Flynn?"

Sharon smiled at Andy and nodded. "It was a difficult decision, but yes."

Rusty looked at her with a confused expression on his face. "Why was it difficult, you love Andy..."

"Yes, I do love Andy very very much. It was difficult, because I was Sharon Raydor for a very long time, and professionally it helped to be a married woman so people didn't think I slept my way up the professional ladder. Then also, the name Captain Sharon Raydor sounded intimidating; it seemed to evoke fear in the hearts of the people I was trying to investigate while I was in FID. In those days, the LAPD was a bit of a boy's club and I needed every advantage I could get to exert authority over the more misogynistic bad boys. If I had married Andy when I was in FID, I'm not sure what I would have done about my last name. I may have kept Raydor, at least professionally, if only to avoid the fallout from marrying one of those bad boys." At that she smiled at Andy to take away the sting her words might cause. "Not to mention all the paperwork changing it would make, but I'm not in FID anymore, and things are very different now. For one thing, I've been promoted, and there's going to be paperwork anyway, so I might as well get it changed."

Sharon bit her lip as she realized how that statement might sound to Andy and tried to clarify things. "Most importantly, Jack Raydor was my past, Andy Flynn, is my future. I love him with all my heart." She stopped again and stared into Andy's eyes and smiled lovingly at him. He smiled back, and for a moment she became lost in his smile. She leaned over and kissed him and then, as if catching herself daydreaming, she jumped slightly looking down to make sure she had not disturbed Bella. Turning back to Rusty, "after thinking about it, I realized that holding on to Jack's name seems like I'm bringing him into our marriage. I don't want my ex to be any part of my marriage to Andy. Knowing Jack he would use my lack of name change as proof that I still have feelings for him and use it as a way to worm his way into my life. I have worked hard, very hard, these last few years since the divorce to remove him from my life, and I don't want to give him any reason to think I still have feelings for him. I don't and haven't for a very long time. Well, he's the biological father of two of my children, but that's it."

Rusty listened and then changed the subject back to name changes. "I don't mind if Bella has Andy's name, she needs to know that she belongs to you. I kind of wish I could take it too. Then we'd all have the same last name."

Andy and Sharon looked at each other surprised by Rusty's revelation. "You'd really like to do that, Rusty?"

"Well, yeah, I mean if it's okay? I mean, the two of you have taught me the true meaning of the word family. I really feel like I have a mother and a father and siblings. I never had that before and well taking the name Flynn kinda helps me feel like I really belong. I'd do it like what you plan on doing with Bella's name Russell Thomas Beck-Flynn."

Andy looked directly at Rusty. "We're a family, son , whether or not you choose my name , but if you should choose to take my name you're welcome to it. You're a son to be proud of. Anybody should feel lucky to have you for a son. I know I would, I just don't want you to regret changing your name later. I mean you just lost your other mother; it's not good to make life-changing decisions so soon after a loss. Tell you what, we're not getting married, or changing Bella's name until October. That'll give you some time to think about it. How does that sound?"

"It sounds great. Thanks, Andy and Mom," Rusty said gratefully.

"You're welcome son," Andy said standing up and giving Rusty's shoulder a squeeze.

TBC…

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