As I've already said, there's something about having Ed as Fuhrer that just gets me. So this one is following the last chapter.

Unlikely Lines For The Fuhrer President To Include In His Annual Message [originally the Queen]:

Racism was still running rife in Amestris, especially against the Ishbalans. The public had simply had too much negative propaganda about them pumped into their everyday lives for too long. Fuhrer President Elric was determined to change this.

Another thing he had decided to do was to start making an annual speech on the Winter Festival, a nation-wide radio broadcast.

Why not put the two together? What could possibly go wrong?

It was The Day. Ed had written his speech. His official speech-writers had overhauled and re-written it. He had ignored them and gone with the speech he intended to give from the start, anyway; what did they know?

Part way through the speech was the one line that had made the professional writers cringe.

"I don't see why everyone hates the Ishbalans so much! I mean, yeah so Scar tried to kill me, but we attacked them first!" conveniently ignoring Envy's admission, Ed swiftly carried on. "Some of my best friends are Ishbalan!"

Not for the first time, the PR team wondered if they had an idiot for Fuhrer.

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The second year, Fuhrer President Elric had not realised that the microphone was on when he walked into the room and continued with the dirty jokes contest he was having with the visiting Emperor Ling Yao.

Luckily for him, it was not Ed's turn to tell a joke, and so Ling's voice was the one echoing around Amestrian homes, starting the second annual speech off with the now-infamous line.

"Ed! How about this one: So, there were two nuns in a bath,"

"Ling," Ed snickered, having seen the little green light.

"Yes?"

"It's already on,"

"Ah."

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The third year, he was slightly more aggressive; his ex-commander, Roy 'Flame' Mustang, had been causing significant trouble for him with his little sulking fits over having lost the title to Ed.

He turned a speech over, it was approved by the writers, and he read it all the way through, from start to finish, without any mishaps. Everything was going perfectly to plan.

Little did his poor aides suspect that it was going to have as unique a flair as both of the proceeding speeches.

"And, as I sign off at the end of this year's Winter Festival speech, I would like to make a personal statement to a certain someone."

Here, the listeners were expecting him to say something about Winry Rockbell, the young woman that everyone could see the Fuhrer was completely smitten with.

But, no; this was Edward Elric.

"Mustang, you'll have to prise my title out of my cold, dead hands"

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This was going to be the last time he ever bet against his brother, especially using his speech as his punishment for losing. Sometimes, he really hated the devious little-

"Fuhrer Elric, sir? It's time to get ready."

Ed took a deep breath to help him through the coming embarrassment.

Right from the start of the speech, the listeners knew that something had happened.

"And this year," the Fuhrer's unenthusiastic voice came through the speakers of the various radio sets, "The Fuhrer President is brought to you by Rockbell Automail, the Fullmetal Alchemist's choice!"

It went normally, until about half way through, when another new advert was slipped in. Across the country, citizens could hear him gritting his teeth in irritation.

"Have you been involved in an accident that wasn't your fault? If so, call personal injury lawyers now!"

He would have his revenge on the demon in angel's clothing sooner or later.

The final humiliation was at the end of the speech.

"We have all learned many things this year. I myself have learned never to bet against my younger brother about experimental results. And I leave you with this:" he sighed, knowing he would never be allowed to forget this. "I'm a killer Queeeeeeeen!"