A/N: Hello again. You know what I'm going to say already... I don't own the Harry Potter franchise, all credit to J K Rowling, sorry for the late update and shoddy quality, etc. The new school year will be SOON, just don't ask when. Oh and corrections have been made (thank you again, Ranma's girl1, that was very helpful!).

Have an interesting day (I feel like I've said that a lot).

SEVERUS' P.O.V

I got the letter yesterday. My mother is dead, just like my father. So are Lily's parents. That was never the plan; neither was me crying all over Narcissa.

"I'm so sorry, Severus. This was never supposed to happen –"

"Supposed to happen? They promised Narcissa! They promised! They said they wouldn't hurt my mother or Lily. They promised. I did everything they asked, I made an Unbreakable Vow to do everything they asked. Why would they?"

"I don't know, Severus. I'm sorry, I really am, and this isn't fair. I know it's not, but Severus, you have to carry on. You've still got Lily –"

"She doesn't care about me! She thinks I'm a lost cause and that I've backed the wrong side. What if she's right?"

"Severus, look at me," Narcissa looks into my eyes. "I promise you now, Lily hasn't given up. Not yet. I don't think there is a 'right' side on this war. When the time comes, both will do equally as much killing. They call themselves the 'light side' but they won't treat us with mercy. There're worse than us, Severus, they're hypocritical Charlatans. Pretending to be just and fair," Narcissa spits, distastefully, "it's all an act. Besides, even if you are on the 'wrong' side, you're doing it to protect Lily. Think about it, Severus. If you leave us, then Lily has no chance of surviving. A Mudblood like her? She'll be squashed like a bug."

"Don't call her a Mudblood," I growl at her.

"Bella sends her apologies," Narcissa ignores my comment.

"What does she care?"

"More than you'd think! She may come across as… unpleasant," I snort at that, "but she does care. You're part of her side, she wants you alive."

"Great, she only cares about my Wizarding skills."

"Look," Narcissa says patiently, "that may be true but so what? Bella never cared about her family. She won't care if any of us die, but because we're all fighting for the same thing –a better world- then she does care. She needs us, the Dark Lord needs us. Everybody needs a family, Severus. Even you."

"Is that really what you think we're fighting for? A better world?"

"Of course, I need something to aim at, don't I?"

"War isn't going to bring a better future."

"Perhaps not, but there's going to be a war anyway, no matter what we do. I may as well side with the people who can guarantee my family's safety no matter what happens."

"You don't honestly believe that the Dark Lord will protect us?"

"I'm not saying this is an ideal situation, Severus. It's not ideal but I'm doing the best I can do given the circumstances. If I had more time, a different place… Merlin knows what I could do… but I need to carry on, I have people relying on me. I can't turn my back on Bella, Lucius. I can't. I have a duty to protect them, loyalty."

"Your family are a load of lunatics and murderers."

"Careful," she says, her eyes cold, "my family is also your family, Severus. They may have their flaws but they are still my family."

"I don't –"

"You forget I'm on your side, Severus. I'm trying to help you. I wish you'd appreciate that once in a while. I can't be everything all at once! You go on about freedom and doing what I want but I can't! I'm not backing down, I don't agree with everything the Dark Lord stands for but I'm not switching sides. I'm your friend, Severus. It's about time you sorted out your priorities."

She walks irately out the room. Great, another friendship I fucked up on. If only Lily were here, she'd know what to do. I wonder what she's doing now, what she's thinking. Does she hate me? Where is she staying? Has she gone to see the ruins yet? Who is she with? Is she as alone as I am?

LILY'S P.O.V

Nightmares visit me, Bellatrix cackling as Severus tortures me. I'm screaming but no one can hear me. I wake to the sun shining through my eyelids. There's a distant shouting which is rapidly approaching me, getting louder. I can't decipher what they they're saying –it's all white noise. Probably Dad and Tuney fighting about the wedding again. I have half a mind to tell them to shut up. Someone bangs on my door. Probably Mum.

"Go away!" I yell at the door, I really want a lie in –it is the holidays.

I open my eyes. I'm not at home, the whole room is white. Am I dead? Wait, no. I'm at the Potter's. Then it dawns on me like a tonne of bricks. My parents are dead. I'm not at home; my home has been reduced to rubble. Suddenly the sunny day seems like a joke. I sit up and grab my dressing gown. There's another bang on the door.

"Who is it?" I shout, with difficulty because all I want to do is sleep and never wake up.

"Sirius!" the voice roars back.

"What time do you call this?" I demand, opening the door.

"About eight in the morning," Sirius smirks. "Whoa Evans, just got out of bed?"

"What do you think?" I scowl at him.

"Alright, Evans, no need to get testy."

"What's all the shouting about?"

"Ah, that's Amos and Alice."

"Amos? What's he doing here?"

"Uh, I don't really know. Mrs Potter let him stay which probably wasn't a good idea. Alice is just getting started. Last time I checked, she was throwing an expensive Chinese vase at his head."

"Oh for God's sake! Why didn't you stop her?"

"Why would I? It's hilarious!"

"Damn you, Sirius."

"Oh, before you storm down there, I'd recommend that you change into something else."

I look down at my pyjamas and catch my reflection in the nearby window. My hair is a mess and I look like I've been dragged through a hedge. Nobody'll take me seriously dressed like this.

"Right, yes…" I turn and slam the door before quickly changing into jeans, my blue blouse and a jacket. I brush my hair and pull it up before opening the door and rushing downstairs. It feels so good to be distracted.

I run down two flights of stairs before I reach the room they call the 'ballroom'. Alice has angry tears rushing down her face and Amos' face is red and irritated.

"How could you do this to me? You absolute bastard! I've had enough of you, of this."

"Alice, please, calm down. It was a simple misunderstanding –"

"MISUNDERSTANDING? You were going to marry Dorcas! You heartless, authoritarian, dictatorial, manipulative player! I hate you."

"Alice, please," Amos tries to touch her arm.

"Don't touch me. Just get the fuck away from me."

"Alice."

"Go to hell," she sneers at him.

I march in-between them.

"Okay, Alice-"

"What d'you mean Alice? Who's side are you on?" she demands.

"Yours, of course," I turn around and punch Amos square in the face. "Nobody hurts my friend."

Mrs Potter nurses Amos' face. She squeezes some antiseptic onto his nose, Amos winces.

"Sorry," she says, too cheerily to be sincere.

We're all sat around the kitchen table, Marlene on Sirius' lap, Alice as far away from Amos as possible, Remus next to Alice, then Peter, then me, then James. We're so close to each other I can practically hear his heartbeat. My own heart quivers a little.

"It's not broken," Mrs Potter says, "but possibly fractured. You'll be fine."

"Thank you, Dorea," Amos says, scowling.

Mrs Potter leaves the kitchen. All our eyes fix on Amos. He whimpers nervously.

"I should go," Amos says after a while.

"Yes, you should," Alice snaps at him.

"I'm sorry," he says, his eyes shine hopefully.

"Don't give me that, your charm doesn't work on me anymore. You cheated on me with Dorcas. You said it was over between you two. You lied and cheated. Not to mention planning on marrying her when I'm still your girlfriend. When would you have told me? When you two had already got married?"

"No! I would tell you, I promise I would."

"I don't believe you," Alice says.

"Look, Alice I love you."

"If you love me, then why would you marry Dorcas?" Alice's eyes well up with tears.

"I don't know! Dorcas… she's really amazing, level-headed, intelligent –"

"If she's intelligent, she'll leave you. Does she know about you and me?"

"Of course, everybody knows about us."

"Why didn't you break it off with me and just go out with her?"

"It would've broken your heart."

"There's more damage done when you lie about it, Amos. It would have been kinder just to split up."

"I'm sorry, you're a lovely person and you're pretty. You'll find someone."

"You're choosing Dorcas over me?"

"Erm," he smiles awkwardly, "yes? She's beautiful. No, that's an understatement - she's super-mega-foxy-awesome-hot."

"This is all over looks?" Alice says, her voice catching.

"Duh," Amos rolls his eyes, "what did you expect? Me to love you for just the way you are? No. You're funny… and cute. But if I have to choose, then…"

"I don't believe you, Amos. Get out."

"Oh come on! What did I do?" he protests.

"OUT!" Alice shoots hexes at him and he runs out of the mansion at top speed.

Alice turns; her anger disappears and is replaced with tears. I get up and lead her to the drawing room. She sits down and cries into her hands. Mar appears behind me.

"I can't b-b-believe I wasted so much time on him," she sobs.

"You're not to blame, Alice. Amos is a dick. Be happy you're rid of him."

"I suppose," she says, glumly, "but I can't believe the whole thing was over looks. Are all boys that shallow?"

"Not all," Mar says, "but a fair few. Same for girls, really. You will find someone who cares about you as you are. It may take a while but I think everybody has a soul mate."

There's a click in my brain… an Epiphany of the Soul. Could it be linked to having a soul mate? Does that mean that James and I…? No, I refuse to believe in soul mates. As if the future can be set in stone like that. Besides, James isn't a soul mate sort of person. Still, he would be my soul mate. With me forever. But what about the rest of my life? I love James but I've never been in love before. Look at Mar, she's been in love hundreds of times, or mildly attracted. Whatever you call it.

"How do even find soul mates?" Alice asks.

"I dunno, I guess it's all just chance…and fate. I met Sirius."

"You're serious about that?" Alice asks.

"No, he's Sirius," she grins and we groan. "Yes, I am serious about our relationship. I think we have something. Now all we've got to do is survive this war and the two of us can live happily."

There seems to be a dark mood hanging in the air – my grief mixed with Alice's hurt. Mar coughs.

"Okay, let's lighten the mood… I'll tell a joke. How do you count cows?"

"I don't know, how do you count cows?" I ask, slightly amused.

"With a cowculator."

I raise my eyebrows at that.

"Like you could do better," Mar says.

"Maybe I can. There's two fish in a tank, and one says 'How do you drive this thing?'"

Alice snorts. "I expected a little better, Lil."

"Oh really? How about this one: why do you never see elephants hiding in trees?"

"I dunno, why?"

"They're really good at it."

"What's orange and sounds like a parrot?" Alice asks, considerably cheerier now.

"A carrot," I say dryly.

"Ooh! I've got a good one. My friend recently got crushed by a pile of books, but he's only got his shelf to blame."

"I was in a job interview today when the manager handed me his very expensive diamond watch and said, 'I want you to try and sell this to me.' So I put it in my pocket, walked out of the building and went home. Eventually he called my mobile and said, 'Bring it back here right now!' I said, '£100 and it's yours.'"

"How about this one: a man with a few mental issues walks into a dentist's office. He says, 'Doc, you gotta help me! I think I'm a moth!'

'You think you're a moth?' the dentist asks.

'Yes!'

'Well you don't need a dentist... you need a psychiatrist.'

'I know,' says the man.

'Then what are you doing here?'

'Well, you're light was on, so...'"

I laugh a little at that one. Our joke competition seems to be going well, they're as awful as each other.

"What's brown and sticky?" Mar asks.

"A stick," Alice grins.

We collapse into giggles at our outrageously bad senses of humour. It's hilarious but I don't know why. What even causes you to laugh? There's a knock at the door, Sirius pokes his head around the door.

"Hello, we're all going to the café in the local village, you coming?"

"Yeah, we might as well. Oh! I have a joke about that. So, a man rings up the local gym and he says 'is this the local gym?' and the man on the other end says, 'I dunno, it depends where you're calling from'."

"That's appalling, Evans. Terrible."

"We don't all have a mordent sense of humour," I retort.

"Easy with the insults, Evans. Anyone would think you were the mordent one."

I poke my tongue out at him. We all get up and head out. The village doesn't feel local at all, it's about four or five miles away but we walk anyway. Mar retells all of our jokes and Remus politely laughs at every single one. Peter howls with hysteria at the jokes, which isn't surprising.

James and I bring up the rear; he laces his hand in mine.

"Someone'll see," I whisper in his ear.

"I don't care, do you? They all think there's something going on between us anyway."

"That's exactly why I don't want them to see. I want to forge my own path; I won't fit into society's requirements. I won't be controlled by anything."

"Good luck with that, Evans."

"I overheard something," I say.

"What exactly did you overhear?"

"You and Sirius were talking about you snogging Marlene," I say, he gulps.

"Did you hear anything else?"

"An Epiphany of the Soul, or something like that."

"Ah."

"Is that all you've got to say?"

JAMES' P.O.V

I hesitate. Now would be a good time for Dumbledore to appear and cast a few memory charms.

"I can't tell you," I say.

"Why not?"

"Because Professor Dumbledore didn't think it would be wise to do so."

"When was the last time you did anything he said?" she frowns.

"Yeah, well I trust his judgement."

"I want to know."

"And I'm not telling."

"Why not?"

"Just leave it, Lily. I can't tell you so leave it."

She huffs, frustrated. "What about you snogging Mar, my best friend?"

"We never had an affair, if that's what you mean."

"But why?"

"Oh for Merlin's sake! Everyone has a past and everyone has a future. Can we focus on the latter please?"

"Sure," she grumbles.

We walk in silence.

"What's your favourite colour?" I ask her.

"Why do you need to know that?"

"Why not? I don't know the answer."

"Blue," she says. "What's yours?"

"Red."

"Would you ever get married?"

"I don't know, when I'm older perhaps. What about you?"

"No. I don't want to belong to anyone."

"Why would you belong to anyone?"

"Marriage does that to people. Besides, one in two marriages end in a divorce."

"You're such a pessimist. Wouldn't you ever marry for love?"

"I don't need a piece of paper saying I love someone."

"Maybe not but marriage is a big thing in the Wizarding world. If you're not going to get married, then you're not going to have kids."

"I didn't say I didn't want kids, I do."

"Then why wouldn't you get married?"

"You don't have to be married to have children."

"In the Muggle world, perhaps but in the Wizarding world, it's unheard of."

"Oh."

We stop outside the café. It's a nice place which serves good coffee. When we sit down, I make sure Lily sits next to me. When we order, I discretely put my hand on her knee. She scowls at me but otherwise says nothing. The waitress that comes to deliver our drinks is –in one word- gorgeous. All of us Marauders stare at her. My hand removes itself form Lily's knee.

"What do you charming gentlemen want?" she asks.

None of us can get our words out.

"Five teas with milk and sugar and two black coffees please. Oh and three slices of carrot cake, two slices of lemon drizzle and two toasted teacakes, please," Lily says.

When the stunning lady leaves I turn to the table and see Lily and Mar glaring at us. Sirius tries to kiss Mar, but she bats him away.

"Come on, what did I do?"

"Hmph, go snog her," Mar makes a rude gesture in the waitress' general direction.

"You don't seriously think…" Sirius splutters.

I try putting my hand in Lily's but she gives me a look so full of odium that I desist immediately. Sirius and I share a look, women.

LILY'S P.O.V

James puts his hand on my knee, electric shock run through my body. I scowl at him because he can't just do that in public. Then a waitress with a skirt too short and a top too low comes over to our table. The boys practically drool all over themselves.

James' hand moves away from my knee. I glower at him because this is classic Marauder behaviour. They have girlfriends but the minute a slutty waitress comes along, they're all over her. Well, if he thinks he can do that with me then he is very wrong. I end up ordering for us all because the boys can't form a single word.

When she leaves, Sirius has the nerve to try and kiss Marlene. I snort because he would have to be God to kiss Mar after that. James tries to take my hand but I refuse. The once unfamiliar feeling which I felt when seeing James kiss Melanie boils up inside me again. Then I put a name to it: jealousy. Oh no, Lily Evans doesn't do jealousy. That's an emotion which only petty people feel and yet… I brush off the thoughts. I don't love love James but I do feel something toward him. Something more than mild tolerance.