A/N: I know, I know, I haven't uploaded in days but there is a reason. Since it's the run up to Christmas, I've been running around like crazy sorting out presents and getting ready for assessments (I know, teachers are cruel). I literally haven't had any time to even look at my laptop. Anyway, I don't own the Harry Potter universe, J K Rowling does. Thank you so much for all the support, it is a little surreal. We're up to 34 followers, 27 reviews and 11 favourites which is truly awesome. Have fun reading, I hope this doesn't read like it's rushed. I solemnly swear I tried to make it go at least a little slow, but these feelings just creep up on you sometimes.

A FEW DAYS LATER

LILY'S P.O.V

Somebody knocks on the door. I glance at the clock. 12 pm. Who could possibly be knocking at this time of night? I sigh a little, dragging myself out of the comfort of my wonderfully warm bed. It was just the right temperature, not too cold, not too hot. I open the door.

"Hey, Evans," James grins at me. I roll my eyes at him, exasperated.

"It's bloody midnight. I'm not nocturnal, you know."

"Yeah, yeah. You need your beauty sleep and all that…" he pushes past me, into my room.

I close the door and turn around to look at him, perplexed. "Why are you here?"

He smiles broadly. I rub my eyes, still half-asleep. Well, I was asleep until I had nightmares of Severus torturing me and my parents dying.

"Well, Lily-flower," he says and I scowl at him, "I didn't think I needed a reason."

I'm about to protest but then he pulls me into him and kisses me. I don't know how long we stay like that, in complete euphoria. When we finally stop, I notice that his shirt somehow came off and my shirt is half-way off. I'm surprised to say the least. I didn't think the two of us were like that. Part of me knows we're going way too fast, all things considered but the rest of me aches to go further. It's not like I don't know him, because I do. Probably better than most people.

"Are you okay?" he asks.

"Yeah, we're just… we're going quite fast aren't we?" I say and he frowns.

"No… I didn't think so."

I take a moment to consider that. Of course, he's had loads of girlfriends but they can't all have been that easy. I'd like to think they didn't all just jump into bed with him. Actually, thinking about them makes me feel sick.

"I've never done this before," I admit.

"Done what before?"

"The whole kissing thing."

"Oh. Really?"

"Yeah," I know I'm going red.

"You don't have to be so embarrassed about it. I'm just flabbergasted that a guy never got very far with you."

"I'm not a slut, James."

"No, I know," he says quickly. "It's just…most girls your age have –"

"Most girls my age? In case you didn't notice, James, I'm not most girls."

"Forget I said anything," he mutters.

I stall for a moment before kissing him again. He wraps his arms around me and I wrap mine around him. Our bodies press together but it doesn't feel close enough. He lifts my shirt off; I'm wearing a bra under my pyjamas, just because I couldn't be bothered to take it off. I'm instantly self-conscious. I reach for my shirt before he can look properly.

"Hey," he says, concerned. "Did I do something?"

"No, it's just…"

"We're going to fast?" he guesses.

"Yeah. I don't really know what we are or how I feel. I mean we've only been doing the whole kissing thing for three days. Everything's a bit muddled at the moment. I'm sorry; I'll let you know when I've figured it out."

"Okay, do you want to go and watch the stars with me?"

I bite back a smile.

"I remembered how much you like the stars and tonight the sky's really clear. I thought we could see them together. The news said something about a meteor shower –"

I reach forward and kiss him lightly and softly. "That sounds great."

He takes my hand and I can't help my smile as we walk down the stairs together, creeping quietly so as not to wake anyone. When we get to his garden, we walk about halfway down it, so we can't be seen and James lays down his jacket and we lie on it together. I roll into him, for warmth in the fresh summer night's air. We both look up at the stars. They're the brightest I've ever seen them.

James turns towards me and sweeps the hair out of my face. "Are you okay?"

That's when I notice the tears rushing down my face. I've been crying so often lately that I don't realise if I am or not. I wipe my eyes hastily.

"Yeah, it just reminds me of home."

Home. What used to be home doesn't exist anymore. I keep having those terrible moments when I forget what happened and I think that my parents will be at the house when I come back in the next Christmas holiday. I usually go home for Christmas. I suppose I won't anymore. The thought saddens me. My parents. The scary thing is that sometimes I can't remember things about them. I miss the little things as well. Like asking them about funny baby stories, advice from my mum, watching TV with my dad, Christmas, walking on the beach with them in the Summer, their faces when I come home after months away, the good-night hugs and kisses, my mum making me breakfast, my dad's pancakes and a dozen other things. I think this is when the reality settles in. They're not coming back. They're dead.

"Lily," James says softly, "you know, you can live here. I know it's not the same and nothing will ever make up for your loss but… I intend to try. You know I'll always be here."

"Always is a long time."

"Hm, not nearly long enough," he says, kissing my forehead.

"I just miss them. It hurts so much… I remember when my Grandma died. That was awful. Mum broke down, it was like a part of her had died along with my Grandma. I remember her being completely broken and distressed and there was nothing I could do or say. This… them dying is like the whole of me dying. I feel like I don't know who I am anymore and I don't have them to help me find myself. I need them, James. It isn't fair. I feel so broken, I don't want to carry on sometimes and I know it's cowardly to just give up when there's so much to live for but… I can't. Sometimes I wish I was dead. I feel numb. From feeling too much and feeling too little inside. I feel like a ghost. Like you could push your hand right through me, I'm just sort of drifting from one day to the next. It doesn't feel like living. I'm lost James. The worse thing is that even though I have all the people I love around me all the time, I still feel completely alone. Like I'm facing everything by myself."

I can't get any more words out; I just surrender to his embrace and cry into him.

"Trust me, Lily. I'll never let you be alone. I'll do whatever it takes. Even if it takes you forever for you to love me back or even longer… I'm not going anywhere."

"There's nothing longer than forever."

"For other people, perhaps but our minutes are longer than everyone else's."

"What are we doing, James? I –"

"'The very essence of romance is uncertainty,'" he says.

"Oscar Wilde," I smile.

"Indeed. You know what else he said? 'When one is in love, one always begins by deceiving one's self, and one always ends by deceiving others. That is what the world calls a romance.'"

"You're on fire today," I look at him, taking in his eyes.

"You bet I am. I want you to know that I don't care if you want to slow things down. I love you and that's all I care about."

I look at him gratefully, painfully wishing I could say those three little words back but I'm not ready. Instead I kiss him deeply and I feel his love fill me up, giving me strength. God, that sounded cheesy, but it's true regardless.

The two of us end up getting a little bit cold so we go up to my room to get some sleep. Admittedly, we spend most of the rest of the night kissing and into the next morning but eventually I feel my eyes close.

THE NEXT MORNING

I lift my head drowsily, that was the first night without any nightmares. I'm in my own room at the Potter's. I look beside me. James is lying next to me but both of us are fully clothed. I sigh with relief. I snuggle into him and he stirs a little, his arm drapes lazily around my shoulders.

"Good morning," I whisper to him.

"Good morning, Lily."

"I'm going to get dressed out of my pyjamas," I tell him.

"Can I come with you?" he asks, hopeful and I raise my eyebrows.

"No," I throw my pillow at him before going into my bathroom (my own bathroom!).

When I come out again, he's dressed. He smiles at me. I walk up to him and he kisses my forehead.

"You look lovely," he says.

"So do you."

"The lady flatters me," he says, mockingly. I hit him playfully.

He beams before kissing me fervently. We only pull apart when I notice that I'm a little cold because my shirt's come off. I untangle myself from him, pull on my shirt and examine myself in the mirror.

"You messed up my hair," I tell him, faking annoyance.

"I'm terribly sorry, ma 'lady."

"Oh don't be, kind sir," I say, brushing through it with a comb before tying it up.

We walk down the stairs together; he puts his hand on my waist. When we reach the bottom of the stairs, I push his hand away using all my willpower. We enter the kitchen where Mar, Alice and Sirius are sitting around the table.

"Morning love birds," Sirius smirks at us.

"We're not love birds," I mutter grumpily.

"Whatever you say," Mar grins at us.

I sit next to Alice and tuck into some toast made by Mrs Potter.

"We were going to stay home today, Prongs. Swim in your pool –"

"You have a swimming pool?" I ask him.

"Didn't Prongs tell you? Ah well, never mind. Yes, he has a swimming pool somewhere in the garden. We were thinking about having a lazy day, you know… eating food, drinking pumpkin juice –"

"You do that anyway," Mar points out.

"Hey! You're supposed to be on my side," Sirius pouts and Mar kisses him.

"Ahem," Alice clears her throat.

Mar and Sirius reluctantly shift apart, grinning like total idiots.

"By the way, you and James look like that every time you enter a room together," Alice says, amusedly.

James and I blush a fierce red. Sirius and Mar laugh at our unease.

"Okay, enough!" I say.

"Oh but it's so funny…" Mar collapses into hysteria.

"No it's not, Mar."

"It is! Because it's true, you two are always so awkward around each other."

"No we're not."

"Stop the lies, Evans. We all know you and Prongs have a thing. Just accept it. Now, I dunno about you guys but I'm getting ready for a day of chillaxing."

We all roll our eyes as we disperse. I go upstairs with Mar and Alice to get changed into our swimwear.

AN HOUR LATER

"LILY! Catch!" Mar throws me her sunglasses before she dives into the pool.

I catch them before they hit the water and put them on the side. We've been swimming for about half an hour, the other half hour was spent by the pool side, drinking pumpkin juice. I'm yearning to spend alone time with James and yes –maybe kiss. He's been staring at me the whole time I've been swimming which makes me nervous as well as giddy. I've been staring at him for quite intently as well. Quidditch has made him muscly and very good-looking. Did I mention how perfect he looks with his shirt off?

Alice swims alongside me. "He's staring at you, Lil."

"I know."

"In fact, he looks like he's dissecting you with his eyeballs. And you're just as bad. You two should just get it over with. There's so much frustration between the two of you… it's uncomfortable to watch."

"What are you talking about, Alice?"

"You know what, love-making, sexual intercourse, sex, shagging."

"Right."

"He won't care that it's your first time, you know."

"I know but I think I want to wait until marriage."

"I thought you didn't want to get married," Alice frowns.

"I didn't but… here in the Wizarding world if you want kids, you get married. Besides, James kind of persuaded me to the idea."

"Wow. I'm impressed, not many people can persuade you to do things."

"I'm not that stubborn," I splutter.

"No, and I'm Dumbledore," Alice mutters.

"So… how's your love life?"

"Erm, empty. How's your love life?"

"I don't really know."

"Are you and James friends?"

"That doesn't really cover it."

"Boyfriend and girlfriend?"

"That doesn't really cover it either. We're something else. I mean, I've known him for ages and I feel like he's part of me almost."

"So why don't you just tell him you love him?"

"I'm scared. Besides, how d'you know I haven't told him I love him?"

"Oh, you can always tell."

"I want to. I don't know if I'm ready."

"You're never ready for it, Lil. Nobody is. Just say it when you feel it most. I promise it'll turn out alright."

"Maybe you're right," I sigh, "I do love him but is that wrong of me to be so happy when my parents can never be happy again?"

"Of course not! They wouldn't want you to be miserable."

We swim over to the pool side where Mar and Sirius are snogging. We don't bother interrupting them. Only Alice seems a bit miffed, that they're displaying how much they love each other right in front of her eyes. I grab my towel and let my hair down form it's bobble. I had tried to prevent it from getting soaked but… when Sirius decides to have a dive bombing competition… I don't know what I was thinking. Luckily, it's boiling today so I won't be suffering from hypothermia for long.

James waves me over. He's sitting on his own because Peter went inside after he clumsily fell at the pool side and Remus has just left him to talk to Alice and Sirius is otherwise engaged with Mar's mouth.

"Hey," I say.

"Hello. Have a nice swim?"

"Yep. I think I swam the length of your garden."

"Impossible, you'd still be swimming," he grins.

"Maybe I'm speedy."

"Maybe you're lying."

"What if I'm not?"

"Then I'd be annoyed you didn't tell me about your secret super power."

"It wouldn't be a secret super power if I told you."

"No, but you'd tell me because I love you."

"Alright, you got me. I don't have the power of super speed."

"So what is your super power?"

"Not telling," I smile as I sit next to him on the grass.

"I'll tell you mine."

"What's yours?"

"Excessively good looks," he says.

"Can't argue with that," I mutter.

"Do my ears deceive me or did Lily Evans just agree that I'm handsome? What's next? Perhaps an amazingly good kiss?"

"Don't push it."

"Oh come on Lily, nobody's watching," he touches my wrist, massaging it with his fingertips.

I bite my lip in frustration. I really want to kiss him but what about other people? Damn it. I reach over and kiss him like I never have done before, I don't hold back at all. All my doubts fly away. My arms wrap around him and pull him closer to me, he reciprocates. James is the one who pulls away in the end.

"You just…in front of everyone –" he stutters.

"You know yesterday when you quoted Oscar Wilde? 'When one is in love, one always begins by deceiving one's self, and one always ends by deceiving others. That is what the world calls a romance.' Yeah, well I've decided I don't want us to have what the world would call a romance, I want us to have what we call a romance. No deceiving. I love you, James Potter."

"You love me?"

"Yes, I love you. And I mean it."

"I can't believe it. After all these years… SIRIUS! LILY JUST SAID SHE LOVES ME!" he yells at the top of his voice. I blush a little at that but I'm not embarrassed.

He then grabs my hand, pulls me up and kisses me with such intensity that I practically fall backwards. Well not practically, actually. We don't even stop kissing when we land in the swimming pool. My heart explodes and it seems that I'm filled with warmth right through to my soul. Nothing could be better than this.

JAMES' P.O.V

I'm screaming inside. Lily Evans, the girl I've loved for years has finally said she loves me. I feel so happy, like I could fly. The girl I love loves me back. I feel complete. There's no way to describe it. It's like being in love but more. Is there more than love?

I grab her hand and kiss her like I never have done before. She stumbles back and we end up in the swimming pool but I don't care. We carry on kissing until I can't anymore. This is without a doubt, the best day of my life.

A/N:It's me again, sorry if this seems rushed. I really need to move onto seventh year though... so don't hate me!