CHAPTER NINE: Moxie Tyler
"What do you think it feels like, Mox?" Bess asks me as I'm braiding her hair for school the morning after the Games began. She turns her head to look up at me and it messes up the tight braid I'm weaving into the side of her scalp. I make a face at her and she sticks her tongue out at me before adjusting her head. I love you, Bess.
"What do I think what feels like?" I ask, continuing to work the three-strand braid in a pattern that Miss Vetta showed me; it's just a basic weaving pattern, really, but with two braids forming on either side of Bess's head, then meeting in the middle of the backside of her head and merging into a pretty four-strand braid, the simplicity of it is what makes it look so elegant.
"Dying! What do you think dying feels like! That's what I meant." Bess giggles as if everyone in the room knew what she meant except for me. It's not a cruel suggestion, her giggle. I shrug.
"Why do you want to know how dying feels?" She shrugs. "How do you think it feels?"
"Ummm," she hums. "Probably it hurts more than a pinch but less than a cut. Unless you're being cut to death like District 6 yesterday. Then I bet it hurts a lot more than a pinch." Lenox hears the word "pinch" and he comes bounding over to Bess and me, sticks out his two pinching fingers and pinches my wrist. He tumbles away laughing when I make an angry face at him.
"PINCH!" he shouts happily. Striker bounds over to Lenox to see what's so exciting and if he can get in on the fun. I'm about to scold Lenox but Bess does it instead. "Lenox Tyler! That wasn't very nice. Say you're sorry to Moxie." Lenox and Striker merely look back at Bess trying to imitate her face. In truth, they're really funny kids making some pretty funny faces, and in truth I want to laugh at them, but I think that would completely undermine what Bess is trying to teach them.
Bess has been really good with them lately. Dad leaves for work in the early morning, but not before he's able to get some food in a pot on the fire for us. We don't usually see him until close to sunset. He's never really said what his work is, but he's always really tired when he comes back and I feel like I should know what he does, but I have to concede that I don't. Folks in the Town seem to know him when he's there, but he's always said that's because of the Townie Tylers. I haven't had any reason not to believe him before, but it is a nagging voice in my head. Anyway, it doesn't really matter what he does for work because he's always here when we need him. Preparing for school in the morning isn't one of those times. Still, the chain of care-taking, most mornings, begins with me taking care of making food for everyone and styling Bess's hair, then continues with Bess taking care of waking Sissy and Elka so they're ready to go when breakfast is ready, and then also going and taking care of the twins if they're with us (because sometimes Dad will ask a neighbor to take them, like on days when we're going to have a test and Bess and I need to stay calm). It works for us and we've got the pattern of the day down really well. Almost on cue, Sissy and Elka appear from the small bedroom we girls share. They're ready to take the trek into Town for school. Sissy yawns and the twins break eye contact with Bess as they bound to Sissy, fingers extended and ready to pinch her too. Striker takes the divide-and-conquer route by heading over toward Elka. Luckily Elka is prepared and scoops him up, kissing his forehead and narrowly escaping a pinch. Sissy isn't so lucky.
"OUCH! LENOX!" She pushes him hard. "You're so annoying!" She grabs her bag and swings it at Lenox as he bounds back after her. "STOP!" I hear Bess sigh heavily, and I see her shoulders slumping. With quick, deft fingers, I finish braiding and weave a hair-band around the tip to keep it in place. "All done," I say to her in a soft voice. Quickly, she's up and breaking up the fight developing between Lenox and Sissy. Elka brings Striker over to me and I take him in my arms and hug him. He's less of a nuisance than Lenox. He gives me a kiss on the cheek.
"Moxie, Moxie, foxy Moxie." He chants. I think he picked it up from Miss Vetta's or maybe from the neighbors, who also have a five-year old. It's just a rhyme and it doesn't mean anything to me, but it has this magical power to distract Lenox from what he's doing (right now, that's trying to pinch Bess and Sissy while ducking Sissy's swinging bag) and to get him to chant along with Striker. Soon, they're both chanting, "Moxie, Moxie, foxy Moxie. Moxie, Moxie, poxy Moxie. Moxie, Moxie, crocksy Moxie. Moxie, Moxie, foxy Moxie." It's cute, until Striker decides to change the words. Lenox hesitates a moment while Striker changes the rhyme, but then he joins in again. "Bessie, Bessie, messy Bessie. Bessie, Bessie, dressy Bessie. Bessie, Bessie, lessy Bessie. Bessie, Bessie, messy Bessie. Sissy, Sissy, pissy Sissy!" Sissy launches at Lenox, who giggles and dodges her. Bess catches Sissy and steers her out of the hut. I let myself laugh at the entire episode.
"Do you think anybody died last night in the arena?" Bess asks me as we walk toward Town. I make a questioning face at her.
"What's up with you and this morbid interest in death?" She smiles and shrugs. "Well, like Miss Vetta says, I think we've seen enough death around here and we don't need anymore." Bess nods, content enough with my answer. A few minutes later, though, she asks another question.
"Do you think Miss Atoka Menzies was able to save Flaxie and Seeder by getting them sponsors?" I have to shrug on this one because I don't really know. I've never thought about what Miss Atoka does during the Games. I always assumed she would be in the Capitol getting sponsors for our Tributes, or maybe she's just in the Capitol watching the Games and staying out of sight. Since no one from 10 has had much success in and out of the Games except for her, I'd say she's not very good at getting sponsors. But I can't presume to know what she is and isn't good at regarding the Games. Maybe the success rate of District 10 has nothing to do with her at all. I can only imagine how I would feel if it were me who was trying to get sponsors for an event that I didn't believe in. I'm not sure where that thought came from but I guess it's true. Besides, we've not yet seen where Flaxie is in the arena. All we know is that Seeder was the first Tribute to make a kill. I guess that's not as shocking when you think about how transformed you might be when you're consciously and constantly fighting for your life.
"Well now," I begin. "I don't know what Miss Atoka is doing, but I think that we don't have any sponsors yet because we don't know where Flaxie is in the arena… not yet… and it looks like Seeder is aware of how to keep himself alive. But I bet you that Miss Atoka gave them some advice on that train about how to stay alive."
"They probably learned some things in training too," Bess adds."I wonder if we ever ran into them without knowing it during our school days when they were here. Did you recognize them at all, Mox?" I shake my head.
"District 10 kids all start to look the same to me after a while. Usually in the middle of the year I can't tell anyone apart really." Bess chuckles and nods.
"Yeah, I guess me too." We get quiet and less enthusiastic as we spot a Peacekeepers' motor car parked on the side of the road about ten yards ahead of us. It looks like the Peacekeepers are sitting on the hood, too, passing something between the three of them. As we get closer, the air smells different: sweeter, at first, but then really foul. I think it's coming from whatever that thing is that they're putting to their lips and blowing smoke from. But the closer we all get to them, the less we're inclined to look up at them. Now that the Games have started, the presence of the Peacekeepers in District 10 is really menacing. We're practically passing right by them now and I have this uncomfortable feeling like they're looking at us girls – us girls in particular – as we shuffle by them. Bess and I keep our heads down and our eyes straight forward for about ten more yards after we've passed them, and just when I think it's okay to go back to normal, we hear them suddenly start laughing. It sets me on edge. Then, miraculously, Bess slips her hand into mine. The last time she did that, she was on edge at the Reaping.
"Hey, Bess," I struggle to say, feeling the words catching in my throat. She looks up at me expectantly. "I bet we'll answer all your questions at school today." She frowns. "What's up?" Bess shakes her head.
"I just had a weird picture in my head." She looks up at me. "Do you remember that time when we were out poaching on the Reserve and we got caught by those two ranch hands?" I nod, the image of the older boy coming to mind immediately. "I think, other than you, that boy, Thatch, was the nicest person I've ever known." She sighs heavily. "I can't imagine killing someone like him. Maybe that's how Miss Atoka Menzies felt when she and Mr. Denton met on the center island in the Games she won. Maybe what she really wanted wasn't to kill him but to save him." She falls quiet. I think about how awful it might be if ever two of us were reaped into the Games together and how I would rather die at the hands of my sisters or brothers than some ruthless killer who is only killing me so that they can become the toast of the Capitol and can live happily ever after. "Maybe Flaxie and Seeder have found each other and that's what they're doing: keeping each other safe."
School is annoying. Anything that isn't about the Games, which we'll gather to watch at 12:30 again, seems to make no sense. It's all about the Games: in the hallways, in the schoolyard, in the cafeteria. No one talks about anything else but the Games. Most of the girls are talking about the Tributes Switch and Gusset. Most of the older girls are talking only about Switch, and even the teachers seem to be talking about the Games. Everyone is talking about it. I have to say, though, that when I overhear the teachers talking, it's not about how gorgeous Switch is or how frightening Flicka is, how thrilling it was when Knut was pushed out the window or shocking it was that Scylla – a Career – was one of the first to die. Instead, they talk about how they knew Seeder and Flaxie. "He was such a smart kid, it's really too bad." "She was always thinking about the next step to any problem we put to her." "I can imagine him being violent, but never like that." "She could have made something of herself." Finally, after Arithmetic, I hang back and wait for Mrs. Gordon. She's a squat woman, lean but not unkindly, with copper hair and a motherly look if ever I knew one. She notices me waiting right away. It's 12:15, and I should be heading out to a fifteen minute recess, but I'm here instead. She fold her arms and sits on the edge of her desk.
"Yes, Miss Tyler. What can I do for you?" I take a deep breath.
"Did you know Flaxie McKay?" She holds my gaze, her own growing colder by the second.
"Yes."
"How old is she?"
"Sixteen."
"And did you know Seeder McKay too?"
"Why?" I shrug.
"I'm just curious about knowing who is dying for us." Her gaze changes, which makes me more curious.
"Why do you think they're going to die?" I shrug.
"No one makes it out of the Games from District 10." She softens.
"With that kind of attitude, no one will. But you're wrong, Miss Tyler. Miss Atoka Menzies made it out." I nod, but slowly.
"So did you know Seeder?" She shakes her head. I can't help but feel disappointed.
"Anything else, Miss Tyler?" I begin to shake my head but stop myself, thinking about Bess's question to me this morning.
"What do you think it feels like to die?" I see Mrs. Gordon's eyes go big for a quick second.
"Why?" she asks slowly, drawing out the word. I shrug.
"Bess wanted to know and I couldn't give her an answer because I don't know. But she thinks that it hurts less than a cut and maybe more than a pinch." Mrs. Gordon studies me for a few uncomfortable minutes.
"Bess wanted to know? Well, I don't think anyone really knows but those who are dead, and they're not rushing back here to tell us."
"Do you think dead folks go someplace after they die?" I ask before I can really think about what I'm saying. Mrs. Gordon has a funny expression on her face, one that seems to reflect her remembering something from a long time ago (maybe). She doesn't seem like she's going to answer, so I pluck up the courage and say whatever comes to my mind first. "I think they do, but I don't think it's too far from here." Mrs. Gordon's expression changes again, but this time she's definitely here with me and not somewhere else.
"I think you're probably right, Miss Tyler. Think about it with numbers. What do you think happens to a number when it is subtracted from another number? Like, take 24 as one number, then subtract 5 from it. The result is 19, but what happened to the number 5? Where do you think it went?" I shrug.
"I think it just disappeared, honestly."
"Okay, but if I were to take another 5 and add it to 19, it would bring the number back to 24. Do you think the first 5 is recovered because the second 5 was added?" I'm not sure I follow her, but I have an answer ready.
"I think the two 5s are separate from each other, and the only thing they do is change the 24 from 24 to 19 and then from 19 to 24 again. I think that's how the Capitol relates to the District during the Hunger Games." I let that last bit just fall right out of my mouth before I could catch it and shove it right back in where it came from. But it's out there, and the look on Mrs. Gordon's face now is the strangest one I've ever seen in my life. It's a hard one to describe, so I'll just say that it makes me take a step back and say, "Sorry. I shouldn't have said that." But Mrs. Gordon takes a step forward toward me and her expression changes to something calmer and softer. I feel like she's looking at me in a new light. I don't know what that light could be or might mean.
"Don't apologize, Moxie. We call what you're doing reasoning and logic. You're taking a problem you aren't able to solve right away and you're applying things you do understand… or understand better… and you're substituting them for things you don't understand as well. Flaxie did that too." She almost smiles at me. "So, if the relationship between the Capitol and the Districts is like the relationship between 24 and 5, describe to me what is happening when 5 is added to 24, which obviously makes 29." I think for a minute.
"Okay, say that the Capitol is acting strange and decides that instead of taking Tributes from the Districts, they decide to give Tributes to the Districts. Suddenly there are more folks in the Districts because we've been given them by the Capitol. But that's still a subtraction problem because those folks are also taken from the whole number they came from. The Capitol has less in this equation than the Districts, who have more now. So Panem would be different as the number 29 than as the number 24." I'm confusing myself now, or I'm on the verge of confusion. Mrs. Gordon stops me anyway: she's smiling.
"What you're saying, Moxie, is that the relationship we're most used to with the Capitol is a continuous subtraction problem. It might be insignificant when it's only a subtraction of 2 for each of the 12 Districts, and that's clear when you see that the relationship of subtraction is only between the Capitol and each District individually. But, if you put all the Districts together and subtract 2 from each of them, what you see is that 24 is a bigger number than 2, and that the relationship between the Capitol, which subtracts nothing from its number or adds nothing to the Districts' numbers, and the Districts, which never add to the Capitol's number but are greatly subtracted from by the Capitol, is unbalanced in what we call 'give and take'. Do you see that?" Honestly, I think I know what she's saying, but I'm not sure I understand. So rather than answer, I just look at her. "Okay," she says. "Here's another problem. What is 13-1?" That one is easy.
"12." Mrs. Gordon smiles and walks over to the dingy blackboard. She picks up chalk and draws thirteen circles in random spots and then draws a star on the left side of the board near three other circles. She looks at me.
"13-1=12," she repeats as she numbers the circles randomly. Then she draws a dotted line across the board from the star to circle #13 and at the end of the dotted line, she crosses out the thirteenth circle emphatically. "13-1=12. Thirteen Districts rebelled. The Capitol subtracted District 13 from Panem, so now there are twelve Districts. But there's a problem here still. I look at this problem and I see that of course we can't argue that 13-1=12 or that there are only twelve Districts in Panem now after the rebellion ended. But what is missing is the force behind the equation: the Capitol isn't represented in this subtraction equation other than to be the force behind its existence. So what we need to do is adjust the equation so that we are not looking for how many Districts there are in the nation of Panem, but what is the Capitol?"
"Wait," I say, feeling like something in all this mess is actually clicking. "So the Capitol isn't a District?"
"What is the Capitol? That's what we're trying to solve." She writes a big "C" on the blank space on the board. Next to it, she draws an equals sign, so it reads "C=". Then she writes, "12?" on the other side of the equals sign, so it reads: C=12? She looks at me. "Does the Capitol equal the 12 Districts?" I shake my head. "Okay, so then we have to find what the Capitol equals, and we do it like this." She writes the equation again: 13-1=12. Then she puts a plus sign after the "12" and writes a "C". Now the equation reads: 13-1=12+C. "The original thirteen Districts are diminished by one to equal the current twelve Districts plus the Capitol. If we want to begin looking for the value of the Capitol, you need to get it on a side by itself. So here's what we do." She blocks the changes she's making to the equation from my sight. When she stands back, I furrow my brow, still both confused and not confused. The equation has changed to look like this: -12+(13-1)=(12-12)+C. Mrs. Gordon explains, "We have to subtract the whole number from each side so that the value we're looking for is the only thing on its side of the equals sign. See? Subtract the twelve Districts from one side to leave just the Capitol. Then add the negative value of the twelve Districts to the other side. So, tell me, Moxie Tyler, what is the sum of negative twelve plus the difference of thirteen minus one?" I do the equation in my head and simplify the equation by changing 13-1 into 12. Now the one side is -12+12. I gasp as it makes sense. -12+12 is the same as 12-12, and the difference of 12-12 is 0. Mrs. Gordon smiles as I get to the conclusion, and a chill runs up and down my spine. If C represents the Capitol, and the equation to find the value of C is C=12-12, then the value of the Capitol is….
The bell rings, signaling the end of recess. We have less than five minutes to assemble in the cafeteria for Day 2 of the Hunger Games. I can't break the staring contest Mrs. Gordon and I am engaged in. If what I think she's saying is true, the very mention of such an equation could put her in serious trouble. It could put me into very serious trouble! I deeply regret sticking around to ask her any questions about Seeder, Flaxie, the Games… all of it! But the gravity of what she seems to be communicating to me bears other fruit as well: what if she's right? What if the value of the Capitol is nothing? What would that make the Games equal to? Some trick by a valueless Capitol to make us feel like we are worth nothing rather than recognizing that their value is worthless? I don't want to think this anymore. I don't want to think this anymore. I don't want to think this anymore.
Mrs. Gordon breaks the silence. "We should go to the Cafeteria, Miss Tyler. The Games will be starting again soon."
Day 2 starts with several shots of where the remaining Tributes are located. There are six cutaway screens on the big screen, each for a different zone, numbered 1-6. Zone 1 rotates from Josamy (District 11 female) who is out in a courtyard of dead grass and grease stains on pavement, to Switch – the older girls get all giggly, annoyingly – who is inside one of the beat-up but intact townhouses, hoarding a lethal stash of knives and axes, to Froe (District 7 male) who is also in one of the beat-up townhouses but without any supplies. Zone 2 rotates from Curia (District 3 female, whose previous whereabouts were unknown) who is in one of the burnt out apartment buildings hoarding a healthy stash of food supplies and seemingly discontent to leave her hiding place, to Notch (District 8 female, also previously hidden) who is hiding in another burnt out apartment building with a substantially smaller stock of food, to Flaxie (we've finally found her in the arena!) hidden in yet another burnt out apartment building with a very sizeable cache of food. A little shout of joy ripples around the room as friends and familiars see her for the first time since the Reaping. She appears to be making inventory of what supplies she has, and as I take stock of what she has to work with, I get nervous as I see that all she has is food. She's not going to be able to kill many Tributes with food alone. Mrs. Gordon mentioned that she was a clever girl though; maybe she'll figure something out? I hope so. Suddenly I want to see her and Seeder make it to the end of the Games.
Zone 3 rotates from Knut (District 2 male and another apparent girl-pleaser) who is in a different courtyard looking through windows. He isn't carrying any weapons that I can see, but he's definitely scouting out the territory around him. He is limping a little, and I suppose that's because he fell out of a three-storey window the day before. His clothes also look like they've crusted over from him falling in his own pile of sick. Zone 3 also focuses on Labrys (District 7 female) who is hiding in a rundown apartment building with a decent amount of food and something shiny and metallic at hand; as far as I can see, it's only one shiny and metallic thing, but that's better than Flaxie; and it focuses on Seeder, who is in another rundown apartment building with his bloody rope at hand and a small cache of food that looks untouched. With the amount of food he has, all he needs is to burrow here and wait out the other Tributes. He could probably make it a long time if he doesn't overeat and if some of the Careers don't find him. It strikes me then: this is one massive scale and elaborate, deadly game of hide-and-seek! I shiver. Zone 3 also focuses on Betel (District 11 male) who is hiding in a different building than Seeder: it's much bigger and seems to be crumbling more than being rundown.
Zone 4 focuses on the other side of the arena where Tiary (District 12 female), Inby (District 12 male) and Tempra (District 6 female) are all hiding in various buildings. Tiary is in one of the really tall apartment block buildings with a cord of rope and a small pile of stale-looking food. Inby is in the shell of an apartment building with a lot of items at his disposal: a fishing rod and baiting hooks, a glass gallon jar of milk, a water bottle and a few loaves of bread. I'm not sure what he'll be able to do with the fishing gear, but perhaps if he's inventive he can figure something out. Tempra is also in the ruins of an apartment with very similar items to Inby, but additional items she has include a full wine bottle, a few rinds of cheese, and a pitcher of water, I think that's what is in it. In the background of her location is the city center and the Cornucopia. I shiver thinking about the animal lurking in that cave.
Zone 5 rotates focus on Dex (District 1 male) and Otari (District 4 female). Dex is inside one of the large three-storey apartment blocks with a cache of the flasks we know contain poison, but he also carries with him a long sword on his back and a short sword in a scabbard attached to his belt. Otari is outside of the large ten-storey buildings, and she carries with her nothing. And in Zone 6, only Anawn (District 5 male) hides inside one of the large ten-storey apartment blocks with a small cache of food (it looks stale) and a healthy pile of maces. This is the set-up for the second day of the Games. Tributes are moving around the arena, as they see fit. Otari is looking for a way out of where she is, I think, because she keeps looking around each corner quickly and stealthily. Knut limps around the buildings in his zone. He lifts himself up and over a low window sill and disappears into the building. The camera does not follow him. In all estimates, this is a boring day of the Games, and we'll have to sit through five hours of it. If anything happens, today in all honesty any sort of kill will be entertaining, even for me.
And then it happens! Though some of the buildings are smoldering anyway, we see some smoke rising from the buildings in Flaxie's zone. Then, slowly, the dancing red, orange and yellow fingers of an electric fire appear over the rim of the building. They're on fire! And just like that, the entire building explodes in the center of the alleyway, fire roaring from its carcass. There are screams and we see Curia, aflame, running from her hiding place. Josamy spots her and freezes. Curia is definitely burning all over and she's heading directly toward Josamy. The cannon booms, but it's not Curia, who is still running into Zone 1 from Zone 2. Curia zips right past Josamy, who moves out of her way and lets her collide with the wall of the nearest townhouse. Curia is going fast enough that she smashes through the window of the townhouse and falls onto a large shard inside the house. There are exposed wires inside the house that trip her as well, and I watch with some glee and a lot of horror as the wires also catch fire. The flames hiss up the wires and ignite with the wooden wall. Now the townhouse – which I think looks a little like the houses built for the Victor's Village (and that's ironic) – has diminished into a wall of flame that's quickly climbing to the roof of the house. It's quite a spectacle. The camera returns to focus on Curai, who is just lying still on the floor of the townhouse, burning away. Finally the cannon fires. In all the excitement of the fire, Josamy has finally decided to run away from the burning building, and we watch horrifically as Switch appears with an axe in his hands at the same moment as Josamy runs by his hiding place. They see each other and Josamy screams, running back in the direction she came from. Switch takes off running after her and the chase makes a few zig-zags as Josamy attempts to run away from both the axe-man and the fire. Switch picks up on her pattern and begins to move in ways that will cut her off. He closes in on her as her screaming and sobbing force her to slow down, and finally, she gives up in the middle of the courtyard she began in, with one exploded building aflame and several townhouses in a row now aflame also, and heaves an awful scream and sob as Switch bares down on her. He must know where the camera is because when he swings the axe above his head and brings it down on her defeated body, we don't see the kill: he's blocking it from view. He can't block out the awful scream as he lifts the axe above his head a second time and brings it down quickly and fiercely. Josamy's screams end abruptly and the cannon Switch steps away from his second kill, he turns so the camera can catch him in profile while also catching the body of Josamy, hacked in two pieces. His chest is heaving as he tries to catch his breath, and he looks like he's closed his eyes. He tosses the axe away from him and drops to his knees, leaning over Josamy's broken body, and he kisses her! It takes everyone by surprise. Then he closes her eyes. We see this close up. He kisses her again and closes her mouth, smoothing out her features so they are not contorted in terror and panic. He has to move away from the two halves of her body as the Capitol aircraft come to collect her. But he stays there watching her as she is collected and taken away. When the craft has vanished again, he puts his head in his hands and I think he looks like he's weeping. I'm reminded of the equation Mrrs. Gordon and I came up with more than twenty minutes ago, and as I look at Switch (possibly) crying over his last kill, I think that this equation might have more truth to it than I thought. Maybe the Capitol really does equal nothing. Once the districts have cancelled each other out, all that's left is the nothingness that is the Capitol. In essence, it isn't us who needs the Capitol, it is the Capitol that needs us. The cannon fires again and my attention returns to the Games.
The kill is in Zone 3, which is Seeder's zone. Knut is the killer, limping along the hallway of a building in his zone. Behind him swings the limp form of Labrys from a rope attached to the felled beam of the building's roof – which is caving in. I count the number of kills we've had today, and it's four, which is pretty decent for the second day of action. I think the Gamesmaker will be hoping for something more entertaining than four kills on the second day, but as long as they aren't more gruesome than Flicka's clawing and tearing and flattening of District 9's face and skull, I think it's going to be alright. I think it will. After all, if you cancel out the Districts, the Capitol is left to face the fact that it is nothing.