Unlikely lines from a children's book:
Maes treasured his evenings, particularly in the times when he had to go to work so early his family were still sleeping when he tip-toed out of the door, buttered toast clamped between his jaws. The reason for this was simple; no matter how full his plate was at work, he would always arrive home in time to read his precious little angel a bedtime story.
Unfortunately, these early-morning starts had been having some bad effects on how careful he was when buying new books to read to his little darling. Normally, in the book shops, he would read the books carefully from cover to cover, making sure his sweetie would not hear anything that could corrupt her delicate ears or upset her. Vision blurred by lack of sleep and feeling half-way to zombiehood, he just grabbed a few titles off the shelf and went home.
He was sat in a tiny little chair next to his darling's bed, book in hand and opened to about half way through.
"Mr Toad, Ratty and Badger all went on an adventure in the motor car. Then Mr Toad accidentally said something racist on camera and was on his final warning from the ABC." [1]
Not the timeless children's classic he had, in his sleep-deprived haze, thought it was.
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The cover was brightly illustrated in cheerful colours, mostly taken up by a picture of a yellow puppy. Spot Goes Swimming looked like it would be educational for Elycia as well as catering to her love of all things cute and fluffy. Unfortunately, the Hughes family's building did not allow pets, so his dearest daughter had to suffer a lack of the pets that he otherwise would have showered her with (up to and including ponies) had he the opportunity.
It was a collection of short stories about the puppy's life, only two or three of the wide shiny pages for each lavishly illustrated story. The third one was where he began to have his doubts.
"Spot wondered why he'd been placed in a sack with the brick. But either way, this was going to be the best trip to the canal ever!"
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Maes Hughes took Elycia shopping with him one day. He had promised her that, if she made no fuss while he did the weekly shop, he would buy her any book she wanted from the shop. Naturally, his little princess was a perfect angel all the way through. In the bookshop, he left her unattended while he sat in a comfortable chair with the far-too-heavy bags of shopping piled around his feet. Why did his ever-lovely Gracia have to fall prey to such a malicious illness that left her bed-bound? (He insisted that she rest so as not to strain herself. She insisted it was nothing more than a cold. Maes Hughes was not known for being a pushover)
His sweet little darling toddled up to him, brightly-coloured book held in her perfectly pudgy little hands. A Big Girl's Book Of Fairy Tales the swirling text on the front of the predominantly pink cover proclaimed. He stood, paid and took them both home, where he promptly began to make chicken soup to help his wife gain strength.
Later that evening, at bed time, Elycia insisted on being read to from her new book. It was certainly… different.
And Sleeping Beauty slept for 100 nights. In fairness, it had been a massive bender
"What does 'bender' mean, Daddy?"
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Winry was looking through some of her old books on a quiet day.
All days were quiet when those idiot Elric brothers weren't around. The presence of the Major those past three days only made the contrast stronger; Resembool simply was not the same without her childhood playmates, scapegoats (she still found it hard to believe that Granny thought the total destruction of their vegetable garden was the boys' fault!) and, in Ed's case, target practice.
What? Throwing things at their partner was how Rockbell women showed their affection.
She picked up a dog-eared book. The front cover was faded and some of the sticky gum that bound the pages together was falling out. There were some tooth marks on one edge where Den had got hold of it at one point when he was still a puppy – and had all of his legs!
It was a little… different to the story books that the other girls her age had. Take for example this line, altered by her doctor parents.
"What big eyes you have, grandma!" Said little red riding hood.
"Yes," said grandma. "I'm off my tits on methamphetamine."
You wouldn't find that in any other fairy tale book!
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[1]Those of you who do not follow British news (probably most, I have no illusions) or Top Gear, do some research on Jeremy Clarkson, if you can work up the energy to care.
There were some more, but I couldn't think of any way to use them. That doesn't mean I won't use them in future!