A/N: Hello again, this update is long overdue, so sorry about that. As you know, I do not own the Harry Potter franchise, all credit to J K Rowling and no copyright infringement is intended.

There is some Jily action in this chapter.

Please review!

SEVERUS' P.O.V

THE DAY OF NARCISSA AND PETUNIA'S WEDDINGS

AT THE CHAPEL

Today is the day when Narcissa and Lucius will marry. I've had to put up with Narcissa's nervous jitters all day. All I've been doing is complimenting her, reassuring her, helping her, calming her down when she gets panicky, smiling at her family, making small talk with her annoying relatives and friends, hopelessly attempting to be enthusiastic and putting up with people in general. Now I remember why I'm never nice to anyone – it's takes up way too much of my time.

This one particular aunt of hers had the audacity to look at me with pity and say 'It must be awful to watch the girl of your dreams get married before your eyes whilst sitting back idly'. I just walked away at that. Sure, Narcissa is pretty and she's funny and sweet. But that doesn't mean I'm in love with her. I mean, have you seen Lily Evans? I'm in love with Lily Evans and the saddest part of that revelation is that she doesn't feel the same way. Whenever we pass, I can see the reflection of her screams in her eyes. Then I feel despicable and cowardly, how could I do that to her? Then again, her and Potter have been spending a lot of time together, maybe I'm not the only one joining the enemy. Apparently they were paired together. I think that's just hearsay, as if Lily would marry Potter. Anyone in their right mind…

I look across the road from the chapel Narcissa's is getting married in to the long road which leads to a small church. Lily Evans is walking down that road, looking beautiful as always, with none other than Potter walking next to her. He puts his arm around her waist and she pushes him away when he leans in to kiss her. I smile smugly. He pushes her back. I feel deflated again; they're only being playful with each other. I'd hoped they were arguing. He then grabs her hand and they walk along happily, their movements as one.

What right has he got to be there? It should be me making her laugh, like I once used to. It should be me making her smile, like I once used to. Potter has no right to take everything I love away from me. Is bullying me and messing up my life not a big enough victory for him? Must he hurt me further by taking away the girl I love? So called justice. People like him always get the easy life, the rest of us have to work for it.

"Severus?" Narcissa calls from the hallway.

"Yeah?" I yell back.

"Can you help me with my dress?"

"Why can't Bellatrix do it?" I whine as she comes in, her hands on her hips.

"Because she doesn't want to."

"I don't want to."

"Please Severus, for me?" she pouts.

"Urgh, fine."

I help her zip up her dress and tie all the ribbons. This is the first and last time I do anything to do with wedding dresses. Narcissa's is emerald green and she took my advice and some of her hair has silver braided into it. She really does look pretty.

"Do I look okay?" she asks, looking worried.

"Of course you do, you look amazing. Lucius will be mesmerised."

"You really think so?"

"Yeah, I just said so, didn't I?"

"Thanks for coming today, Severus. I know you don't like being surrounded by people and I really appreciate it. None of my other friends offered to help me, not even Bella," Narcissa says bitterly.

"Yeah well, you don't want Bellatrix helping you. She'd mess it up somehow, curse all your guests or something."

"I guess," she cracks a smile.

"I can't believe you're getting married," I say.

"I know. It feels like everything's finally happening after all those years of dreaming."

"Promise not to disappear and leave me forever once you become a wife?"

"I pinky swear," she smiles, holding out her pinky. We join pinkies. I can't believe she still remembers that.

"I'm going to miss you," I say, choking down emotion which threatens to show.

"I'm not going anywhere, Severus. You're still my brother no matter what."

"I know. You deserve this, Narcissa. I want you to be happy."

"And I am happy, Severus."

"You're lucky, you know. Having somebody."

"Oh Severus, there are plenty of girls out there –"

"Not for me there's not."

"Still head over heels in love for her then?" Narcissa asks, sitting down next to me in her enormous dress.

"Yes. I've tried, Narcissa. I've tried so hard to forget all about her and carry on but I can't. I have no control over it. I love her and she's moved on. She doesn't care anymore and that's my fault."

"Don't you ever say that, Severus. Don't go blaming yourself for everything. What choice did you have? You had to join. She must know that."

"If she knows, why does she hate me so much?"

"I don't think she hates you. I think she feels betrayed and hurt and she doesn't know what to think. I think she still sees the boy from Spinner's End who used to be her best friend but now she also sees the man who wears the Dark Mark and who spilled her blood on purpose."

"The boy from Spinner's End is gone, Narcissa. He was weak and stupid."

"I think he was sweet and caring."

"You would."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You find the best in everyone. Doesn't it ever occur to you that some people are just evil?"

"Do you want me to hate you?"

"It would make more sense."

"Yeah, but I don't hate you. I think you're a good person who made mistakes. You're not an evil person doing evil. If that's what Lily thinks then she's the one who's weak and stupid."

"Why do you always have to spin it on her?"

"Because she's the problem, if you two just talked about it then maybe you'd both get closure."

"That's a nice thought, Narcissa but –"

"Stop being so negative and don't dismiss my ideas until you've tried them."

"Don't you have a husband to marry or something?" I scowl at her.

"Oh yeah, I should find my house elf. Bye Severus."

"Bye Narcissa," I say as she leaves the room.

I suppose I could give talking to Lily a go but I doubt her bloody body guard would let her. Merlin damn Potter.

JAMES' P.O.V

WALKING TO CHURCH

"I can't believe you invited Padfoot to your sister's wedding," I tell Lily.

"And Wormy and Moony," she says in a sing-song voice.

"Your sister's not going to like that."

"Well," Lily says defensively, "she didn't want me to be her bridesmaid."

"It's because you'll take everyone's attention away from her because you're so gorgeous," I say, putting my arm around her waist.

"Shut up," she says blushing, "it was going to be a dreary and dull affair –"

"Which is just how my in-laws like it."

"We're not married yet, Potter."

"Calling me Potter again?"

"Only when you're being stupid."

"Hey! You'll be a Potter soon, then you won't be able to use it as an insult."

"What if I don't want to change my name?"

"You have to, the Marriage Law says –"

"I have no independence or freedom. Yeah, I know. I'll be stuck with you as a good-for-nothing husband for the rest of my life," she smirks at me.

I lean in to kiss her but she pushes me away playfully. I push her back before sliding my hand into hers. We walk merrily to the church.

IN THE CHURCH

Lily and I sit on a window seat watching the snow fall steadily and gracefully. Lily's snuggled up against my chest, much like a cat. I stroke her hair, her fragrance soothing me. Lily turns her head from the window to me and smiles. I love how she has a smile just for me and I can see everything I love about her – her strength, compassion, independence and strong-will – reflected in it. I lean in and kiss her as softly as the snow falls.

It's times like this when I forget we're in the middle of a war. Being with Lily, it's easy to forget the murders and torture which surround us. I honestly don't know where I'd be without her, probably dead. The amount of times Lily's stopped me from doing stupidly reckless things, I don't care to count.

"What're you thinking?" she asks, concerned.

"Nothing," I lie.

"No, it's something. I know it is," she insists, sitting up so her body faces me. I shiver; it's cold now that her body's not pressed against my own.

"It's just the war. Everything happening and we're not fighting…"

"I know," she sighs, "it doesn't feel right or fair."

"I'm lucky to have you and I'm worried that I'll lose you in the war –"

"You won't lose me, if anything, I'll lose you," she says smugly. Yeah right, like she'd survive and I wouldn't.

"That's not likely at all," I snort.

"Then you losing me is impossible."

She curls back up against me and we go back to watching the snow settle.

"I don't want to get married in the winter," Lily says after a while.

"Why not?"

"Too cold."

"So when do you want to get married?"

"Summer holidays, 1978, next year."

"That's when we graduate."

"I know. I was thinking we could signify the end of our school career by getting married – then we can kill Death Eaters."

"I like that plan."

"Duh, because it's my plan."

"Aren't we cocky, Evans?"

"Calling me Evans again?"

"Only when you're being stupid."

She smiles and we kiss again.

"Sorry to interrupt, love birds, but the service is about to start," Marlene pokes her head around the door.

"You invited Marlene as well?" I ask Lily, my eyebrows raised.

"And Alice," she says sheepishly.

"You really do want to cause havoc, don't you?"

"It's not that, I just wanted everyone to be with me on my sister's special day."

"Still bitter?" Marlene asks Lily.

"Well yeah, she's marrying a judgemental twat and she's almost just as bad. She blames me for their deaths and I'm not saying that's untrue but still. And Vernon didn't even want me at the wedding and Tuney almost went along with him. I put my foot down, though. I helped plan this wedding and my parents would want me to be here."

"Can't you forgive her? Make amends?" I suggest.

"Only when she apologises," Lily says, stubbornly.

Marlene sighs as if she and Lily have already been through this argument before.

"Come on then, let's get this horror over with."

APPROACHING THE POTTER MANSION

The wedding was indeed a dull and dreary affair. The after-party, however, was spectacular. Padfoot somehow managed to smuggle in some Filibuster's fireworks which startled most of the guests. For the most part, the evening was very enjoyable particularly as I got to spend it with Lily. Vernon kept his distance which was a great relief apart from when he was talking to one of his Muggle friends and called me 'some magician'. A magician. I would have throttled him but Lily distracted me and we ended up leaving early. You could tell Petunia and Vernon were very pleased when our party of eight finally left.

The rest went home; Padfoot went with Marlene to some local hotel which meant (with my parents away on business) that Lily and I were in the mansion alone. My parents have been particularly wary of leaving the two of us alone, I don't think they want grandchildren just yet, at least not until I've left school. Padfoot winked at me, when he left with Marlene.

I need to set this straight; Lily and I haven't had sex since the first time at school. That was three or four weeks ago. It's not that either of us doesn't want to, it's more that there never seems to be an appropriate moment. Either she has to be out or I do, or we have guests, or it's way too late and we're both exhausted or we have places to be. Which is very frustrating but now we have the perfect opportunity and the time.

Jily Action commencing.

The mansion door slams shut and Lily and I walk into the hallway. I grab her waist and kiss her fervently. I push her against one of the walls and her legs come up to wraps around my waist.

"Do you remember this?" I ask her, as I unzip her dress which is ripped at the hip because you're not supposed to lift your legs in it.

"Mhm," she says against my neck, "do you remember this?"

She thrusts her body against my own. The next thing I know is that we're both naked and roaming each other's bodies with our hands.

"Are we going to do it standing?" she gasps between kisses.

"Who says we're going to do anything?" I tease her.

"I could just go…" even though I can't see her face as I kiss her collar bone, I know she's smirking.

"What if I don't let you?"

"I doubt you could stop me."

"Want a bet?" I growl.

"Are you sure you want a bet? I'd hate to ruin the nice record you've got of always winning."

"I'll win. Because," I lift my head to look at her face, "you want to as well."

"You always were good at knowing what I want."

"Really? I thought you were quite difficult to read."

"Maybe that's what I wanted you to think."

I pick her up and carry her to the lounge, where I finish and fulfil every dream I've had since three or four weeks ago.

Jily action over.

SEVERUS' P.O.V

CONTEMPLATING HIS THOUGHTS AT THE END OF THE WEDDING

So James and Lily are engaged and apparently they love each other. Am I heartbroken? No, only fools get their hearts broken. Am I angry? Yes. Am I angry at Lily? Yes. Am I angry with Potter? Absolutely. Do I want to tear them both apart and hurt them like they hurt me? Of course. Do I hate the both of them? Probably. Am I completely over her? No. Not even a little bit.

How is this fair? I've tried everything. Memory charms, Occlumency, potions, therapy – everything. And yet I'm still in love with her. However, as I have learnt, life isn't fair. The sooner I get that into my head, maybe she'll get out of it.

I wonder if she cares what I'm feeling right now. I wonder if she knows what she's doing. I wonder if she knows that being with Potter will be the death of her. I wonder if she knows what she's signed herself up for.

I've decided that I'm a Death Eater. I'm no longer confused, being a Death Eater is the best way to protect Narcissa and Lily. I have a place and I know what I'm doing, for once.