Empress- Queen of Hearts
I'm just a little girl suddenly, in my nice first-day-of-school dress with a big pink bow on the back and my hair done all nice. It's the first day of pre-school, I think.
I don't have any friends, but today Mommy said I'm going to make some. I sit off by myself with my favorite stuffed bunny and watch the other kids talking.
A group of girls comes over to sit with me. They're all wearing their nice dresses and look very pretty.
"Hi," one of them says.
"I like your dress," the other says.
"Hi," I greet. "I like yours too."
"What's your name?"
"Empress."
The others introduce themselves, but I would be boring you with their names.
We play a little bit before we all take our places for class. That morning goes pretty smoothly, and I don't remember much of it, so time seems to fast-forward around me.
We have recess. It had just rained that morning, so there were plenty of puddles and mud holes to play in. My new friends weren't too interested in that, though. When I jumped in the puddles, they all jumped back.
"My dress!" one of them wails.
"It's just fun," I say, picking up some mud.
"Ew!" the other girls run away, screaming. "Freak!"
I realize I'm all alone again, and sit in the mud, playing by myself in peace. I feel another tap on my shoulder and see a tan-skinned boy with dark hair and gentle eyes there. He holds out a freshly-made mud pie to me.
"Hi!" he says.
"Hi," I say in return.
"I'm Chime. Who're you?"
"Empress."
"You're cool! Let's be best friends." I take the mud from his hands and smile.
"Okay!"
.
I've always been a tom-boy kind of girl. Don't get me wrong, I like fashion and getting all dolled up just fine. But sometimes I need to release my energy somehow, so I become the sporty, not afraid to get muddy kind of girl that isn't viewed as beautiful by the District.
Even when I grew out of the playing-in-mud phase, the girls in my grade never really accepted me.
They had this group called the Blonde Squad.
"You're not pretty if you're not blonde!" they always said.
I took that to heart when I was younger. Just because I wasn't pale and blonde with shiny blue eyes like them, I believed that I wasn't pretty or desirable. I believed that my skin was too odd, my hair too black and fine, and my eyes a boring brown. I never felt beautiful, all through my early teens, because I wasn't a part of the Blonde Squad.
Boys besides Chime never really talked to me or cared to associate with me, and I didn't really have a lot of friends. Training proved to be an outlet for me to expel my energy, express my emotions, and kick the Blonde Squad's assses.
I still don't have a lot of friends, really, but I have a group that I could trust anything with, which is what I would've wanted.
Lately, though, Chime has been acting different around me, and I think I know why. Chime has a big crush on me and has tried a couple of times to ask me out on a date, but I just pretend that we're friends because I don't want to hurt his feelings…
I open my eyes and sit up, groaning.
"You're awake!" Dream looks like he's been sitting for a while. "I was starting to get worried…"
"Huh?" I glance at Pontifex, Janie, and Katherine. All three of them are passed out.
"Whatever we sent after Tristabelle came after us as well. I only got stung twice, and I felt kinda woozy but stayed up. Everyone else was out cold, though. I wasn't sure when or even if you were going to wake up."
"The Capitol is smarter than killing all of their Career tributes in one sweep," I say, stretching. The stings are ugly and look infected, and they still ache.
"Do you know how to treat these?" I ask.
"I've never seen anything like it before," he says.
"Same." I glance at the others. "Have you tried to wake them up?"
"A little. I don't think they're going to wake up until their bodies fight off whatever weird poison was in those stingers, though." I can already notice that Pontifex has more stings than the others.
He can die, I think, It'd certainly be less competition.
"So, what do we do?"
Dream shrugs. "I guess we sit and wait." He holds out a bag of dried fruit to me. "Take this. It might be a while."
"How long was I out?"
"It couldn't have been more than three hours," he says. "Judging time is hard."
"Hm. I wonder how long the others are going to be out."
"Hopefully not for a really long time."
I survey the three bodies. As I said, Pontifex is covered with stings. Janie was slightly better off, but not by much. Katherine looks to have gotten more stings than me, but not enough that I'm worried for her health.
Dream and I sit and eat in silence.
"We could kill them right now so easily…" I muse quietly, leaning back on a rock. "If we really wanted to, I mean. They're perfectly vulnerable. What would be stopping us?"
Dream shifts, looking uncomfortable, but nods. "I know what you're saying."
"If we were more certain how the others partnered up, I would consider it."
"You can't take one from Two without taking both," he says. Pontifex acts like he doesn't like Janie very much, but I think Dream is right.
"True District loyalty," I say half-heartedly.
What would I do if the others would've killed off Dream while we were knocked out? I don't want to dwell on the thought. I don't know what I'd do. Just when he seems like a real person, he's going to end up dead if I want to live.
He looks everywhere but at me, obviously dwelling on the same question.
"Dream?"
He looks up, snapping out of his thoughts. "Hm?"
"Do you… Want to go hunt? It'll probably be a while before the others wake up."
"Oh, sure." He grabs a knife and I take my bow and we set off. I'm sure this trip will be fast. We walk and occasionally kill some small wild animal we find.
Dream goes off to look for some berries while I keep my bow at the ready. I don't really like being alone, and things don't get much better when the girl from 10 jumps out from a bush and tackles me.
Whatever the bees had in them slowed my movement, and I struggle against her. It's to her disadvantage that she doesn't have a weapon and instead grasps at my neck. I try to remember what I learned in training but it's hard to think fast.
Suddenly I hear a shout and just when I think I'm going to pass out, the weight it thrown off of me. I gasp for air, staring at the sky as I hear a strained scream cut off quite suddenly. I hear a cannon and see a hand held down to help me.
Gratefully, I take Dream's hand, and he helps me up. I feel winded still, trying to regulate my breathing pattern again.
"Close one," he says, as a cannon roars.
"Thanks…" I gasp. I would say more but catching my breath again is the main priority. I guess this alliance is going to live just a little bit longer before it falls apart. And thank goodness for that.
"We have enough meat," he says, "Let's go back to camp. I'm sure the others are starting to wake up.
We walk back and take a seat again, waiting for the others.
Dream goes off on his own to hunt, and promises he'll be careful. I would gladly go with him but feel very shitty at the second. At least I can breathe again…
Not much later, Katherine twitches and sits up, groaning. "Hm… What…"
"Good morning," I say. I feel really awkward.
The only person I don't know much about in this alliance is Katherine. She's stayed pretty quiet through this whole thing.
"What happened?" she asks.
"Those stupid bee things. They were poisonous or something."
She glances at the others. "Oh."
"We've got some time."
She gets up and sits next to me. The silence becomes more and more awkward with each coming second.
"So… What is life like as a Victor's daughter?"
"Pretty luxurious," she says, brushing a strand of hair behind her ear. "But also pretty awkward. Because everyone around you is suffering, and you're not, y'know?"
"I… I don't… I can't say I get that."
"Oh, right." She laughs a little bit, "I forget where you're from. See, Seven is suffering. I mean, you can make a living for yourself and your family, but it takes a lot of hard work and a lot of people never really get there, for whatever reason. Like, my Mom, her Dad got stuck in debt, and she was just barely able to keep going until the Games."
"Yeah…"
Katherine shrugs. "It's just a little bit awkward because everyone around me is working so hard and I don't have to. Money's not a worry for me, never has been. So it gets kind of awkward sometimes."
"Yeah, I guess so…" I don't really know how to respond.
"Especially with my boyfriend. Like, I'm just a rich girl and he got lucky to be with a rich girl."
"Hm." It's weird to see it through the perspective of someone like her.
"Yeah. It's a different life than the usual for our District, that's for sure."
"I'm sure it is…"
I hear footsteps and look up to see Dream coming back with some more rats. Something in me feels relieved, something else scolds me for feeling that way.
"Oh, good," I say, smiling. I have to say, I love food. Not conventionally feminine, but I've stopped caring about that stuff. I don't have to be feminine all the damn time just because I'm a girl.
"We just need some wood to burn," he says.
"I'll go."
"I'll come, too." Katherine smiles a bit at me, and I smile back. She has the blue eyes that I've always envied, but now I'm more reassured in myself that mine can be just as pretty.
I take my bow and arrows and Katherine takes her axe, hefting it up with some effort. Together, we start walking. We walk and collect leaves and wood as we go. Suddenly, I see a figure and stop in my tracks. The girl from 9 looks a mess, covered with stings about as much as Pontifex.
She turns to face us, awake. It must've taken a lot of willpower for her to wake up. She whips her knife and tackles Katherine. It takes a bit of time for me to react (the poison stuff's still wearing off, I think) and then get my bow positioned and aimed, and even so I'm not a great shot.
I'm still pissed that Janie won the Rock-Paper-Scissors tournament for the throwing knives.
I shoot but my hand wavers. I nock another one as the girl from 9 starts stumbling away, shooting and hitting her shoulder. She lets out a scream but doesn't stop moving. I don't feel much in the mood for a chase, so I let her go. After all, I still feel fuzzy so I can't imagine how Katherine must be feeling.
I drop the leaves I was carrying (I probably should've done that before I shot) and try to help Tracey up. She's bleeding from deep gashes down her arms and across her stomach. She must've done a pretty good job at fighting Tristabelle off because there are no dangerous injuries.
"Let's get you bandaged up back at the camp and eat."
Katherine stumbles to her feet, I pick up the pile and we both walk back to the others.
"What happened?!" Dream is quick to help Katherine, Janie sitting up and blinking as if trying to make things less fuzzy and heavy.
"We ran into the Nine girl."
"So she's still alive…" Janie says quietly, rubbing her head.
"I know. Sucks for us."
"She's as good as dead, though, soon enough." Katherine says.
"I hope so…" says Janie, before looking upset that she would even think those words. After that it just goes into a very awkward silence as Dream bandages up Tracey's wounds.
The sun sets and a fire is started. We cook food and eat. Janie keeps looking back at Pontifex during dinner, though.
The Capitol anthem plays and no faces appear in the sky. I sigh, but part of me is a bit relieved. Dream agrees to take watch, and Katherine agrees to stay up with him. I, for one, am beat.
I lay down and close my eyes, drifting off into an easy sleep.
.
I wake up to a loud, deep, growly groan. When I sit up and open my eyes, Pontifex rolls over and stretches out.
Janie shoots up and runs to him.
"Ponty! You're awake!" she says, still sounding groggy from having just awakened.
"Hrng." Rough translation: Don't call me Ponty.
"I was really worried!" She pauses and glances at us. "Er, we were."
"Damn…" he groans, sitting up. Then he blinks. "It's… Dark."
"Yeah. You slept for a long time."
"Ugh." He curls back up again.
"I'll take watch," I say. "I'm feeling much more awake now."
"Same," says Janie. She keeps glancing at Pontifex, glad he's alive I'm sure. Would I be glad to see Dream awake? I don't know the answer, and I don't even know what I would want the answer to be. I hope I wouldn't be so bloodthirsty that I would hope for his death, but I don't want to get attached, either, because ultimately, he's going to have to die for me to see my home again.
The others doze off, leaving Janie and I awake. Neither of us are really in the mood for talking, so we sit in a peaceful, almost half-comfortable silence until the sun rises.
~.~.
Tuesday- Seven of Clubs
I wake up that morning and immediately feel dysphoric. It's just going to be one of those days.
It might be better if I had my binder. Unfortunately, we're only allowed one token, and I chose to bring this necklace. I knew it may've been a dumb idea at the time, (because this isn't the first time I've been in a masculine mindset without a binder) but I decided that bringing my family, my friends, my home, and Bryce with me would be more important than something like a binder. After all, I'm pretty assured in my identity, thanks to the love and nurturing of my family and friends. Bryce is the only person I know that can make me feel like both a prince and a princess.
Anyways, I guess it just sucks that I can't be flat right now. Hopefully the feeling will get less severe as the time goes. Sometimes it does, sometimes it doesn't.
"You're up," Tia says, sounding surprised. I laugh a little bit.
"For once."
We survey our supplies again. Between the two of us, we were able to get a fishing rod, and a couple backpacks with some necessary supplies (a knife, some iodine, a thermos, and some bags of dried out food), so I suppose we're pretty well off.
Now that the flood pushed us back away from the ocean, fishing isn't really an option anymore, but at least we were able to find some water to drink and fill our thermos. Not to mention the traps that Tia can set. We don't have a lot of supplies left for them, though, but she's very crafty.
I know I got a good ally in Tia. She trained but not as much as the other Careers. She's pretty trustworthy, and right now things are sailing smoothly between the two of us. We go back and forth between personable and survivalist tendencies, but I think that together, curt or friendly, we've got a pretty good shot.
Even though the Careers got tangled up in one of Tia's traps, we didn't go to fight them. We figured the time wasn't right, and I knew they were staking it out there and waiting. We have to wait, I'd say, for at least one or two more of them to die before we even have a shot, no matter how good we are at fighting.
Also, I think I'd prefer to get some more weapons before challenging anyone. I have no idea how the others did or did not partner up, so I don't know what to expect. I think that the two of us together are pretty savvy, though, so I'd be confident in finding any tributes.
Then again, I don't want to kill anyone. Why would you want to, honestly? I'm mostly just talking for defense. The cannons that have blasted haven't really felt real to me yet. I don't think any of this is really going to feel real until it's all over and 23 are dead.
I think about Garrison a lot, though. I know he's dead, but I don't think it's become real to me yet. His family, though… Lost both of their children to the Games. How could a pair of parents ever live with that? I don't think I could.
That's why I never want to have kids. Especially if I live though this and become a Victor. There'd just be huge targets on their backs. Take Katherine Tracey for example. She is a Victor's child that got doomed to the Games just like her mother did.
The Games are traumatic to live through once, let alone twice. Especially if someone you love so much is on the line. If I'm lucky enough to get out of here, I hope I can live with the memories. I'm sure it's a lot harder than it looks.
Tia and I are having a curt, survivalist kind of day, which is fine by me. I don't need to see her as anything more than an ally. It'll be better for my mental health that way. Besides, I'm already crabby as fuck today because I still feel dysphoric. I know there are Capitolites watching and using feminine pronouns as they see me and Tia. It makes me incredibly bitter, but I don't want to say anything for fear of being looked at as high-maintenance.
The only discussion we have occurs after a cannon shoots off. We ponder briefly over who it might be before we keep walking. We refill our thermos and drink, and have some meat for lunch (after a long attempt to start a fire). Then, we keep walking, trying our best to cover our tracks to avoid any unwanted predators.
We walk until we see a figure sprawled out on the ground, covered with ugly bumps.
"Stay back," Tia hisses suspiciously. She's right.
The figure twitches a bit, and goes still.
"Do you think she's dead?" Tia whispers.
"I don't think I want to find out," I whisper back. I start walking the other direction, hoping that whatever attacked that girl is gone now. Tia follows me. We walk until the sun starts to sink, where we stop and have some jerky for dinner. The sun sets and I feel thankful that this stupid day is over.
The Capitol anthem plays and the girl from 10 flashes in the sky. I just want this day to be over.
Tia asks to sleep first and I agree to stay up. I cross my arms over my chest (which I admit is already pretty flat, but there are still breasts there and that makes me pissy when I'm in a masculine mood) and mess with the necklace Bryce gave me before I left.
I miss him so much. If anyone could make me feel less pissy and dysphoric, it'd be him. I just want to be home.
I sigh dejectedly. It's going to be a long night.
~.~.
A/N: My genderqueer friends, please, if there's something wonky or odd with any of my genderqueer characters, don't be afraid to say so! I am just a cis girl trying to add some diversity to my characters, and I'm doing my very best but if something sticks out please tell me! Same goes to my LGBTQ+ readers, as well. I'm just trying to add diversity, I don't want to offend anyone. So yeah, don't be afraid to speak up if something is off in my representation. Thank you and I love you.
Chapter Question: I have my next Arena gimmick planned… What do you predict it shall be? *evil laughter* Go wild and crazy, I could get new ideas!
Scores:
Kate: 268
Dreamer: 214
Jess: 161
falyn. oliver: 43
seaotter99: 22
ThisWorldWeHate: 17
Blonde4ever: 62
Beauty. Is. Strange: 61
magicharity: 153
Ibbonray: 35
epictomguy: 23
Medium-Indigo (Guest): 60
hopefuldreamer1991: 91
Lady Lysa Arryn: 51
Coolgal02: 61
rising-balloons: 35
Sinfonian Legend: 295
xQueen-of-Applesx: 40