The Witcher: Part XXXII

The Man With The Mask

Previously, on The Witcher:

Team Witcher have finally arrived in the Northern Continent! However, they have suddenly been captured by some droids.

How will our heroes make it out of this predicament?

"Welcome to your new work day."

"Remember to always follow the rules."

"Remember to never think bad thoughts."

"And, as always, remember that the Ikron Corporation loves you."

Unit 53R411 sat up, awakened from quite a strange dream. He ran his hands through his short red hair.

His dream was quite amazing, and quite fantastic.

In it, he was a great hero:

a Witcher

named Geralt.

Geralt was a hero of glory, and of honour. 53R411 almost wished his dream was true. But, of course, working for the corporation was more glorious and honourable.

53R411 walked out of his flat, and went down his workplace, the metal refinery. He worked with a whole bunch of witches, and they used their magic to refine metals for weapons for the Ikron Corporation.

He turned to his coworker, a young witch with piercing brown eyes.

"I had a strange dream last night," he said. "I thought I was some sort of Witcher guy, and I went around the world saving people."

"Shh," said the coworker. "Witcher is a banned word!"

"The Ikron Corporation will destroy you if they hear you saying that word!"

Later that day, 53R411 went down to the mines to retrieve some ore.

"I had a dream last night," he said to a couple of miners who looked vaguely familiar. One of them, an old woman, chuckled.

"Nobody has dreams anymore," she said.

"What was it about?" asked the other one, a young man.

"I... was this guy called Geralt of Rivia... on a quest for some sword," replied 53R411.

"Geralt..." said the young man slowly, carefully enunciating each sound. At that moment, 53R411 saw a man wearing a white mask signaling to him.

53R411 walked up to the man. The man raised a finger to 53R411's mouth, and signaled for 53R411 to follow him into a nearby cave.

They sat down on the cave floor, and then the man spoke.

His voice sounded metallic and fake and synthetic.

"You are Unit 53R411, correct?"

"Yes," replied 53R411.

"I know about the dreams you've been having," said the man with the mask. "I know about Geralt and the Witcher."

53R411 then realised this man was probably from the Ikron Corporation.

"Are you here to take me away?" asked 53R411.

"No. I'm here to tell you that you are Geralt of Rivia," replied the man. "Your dreams are truth."

And the man raised a finger to 53R411's temple and suddenly, it all came rushing back: How Team Witcher was captured by the droids, how their memories were edited, changed, erased.

"The Ikron Corporation is being run by Adolf Hitler," said the man with the mask. "It's entire purpose is to manufacture weapons for Nazi Elf Draugr and Himmlers. You need to restore the memories of Team Witcher, and then you need to find the leader of the Ikron Corporation and defeat him."

"Okay," said Geralt.

Just then, a whole bunch of droids busted open the cave. As quickly as he had appeared, the masked man had disappeared.

Geralt cast a fireball spell, which roasted all the droids. He had no moral objection to killing robots. Geralt then ran out into the mine, and found Ciri and Iorverth.

He used magick to restore their memories; the same magick that the masked man had used on him.

"Where is my sword?" asked Iorverth suddenly. "I feel naked and exposed without my sword."

"We'll find it," said Geralt reassuringly.

And then they went and found Lady Feudalism, who was working in the metal refinery. Geralt restored her memories, and Team Witcher was back together.

"Now we're going to find the leader of this Ikron Corporation," said Geralt. "And we're going to take him down."

Adolf Hitler, too, had arrived upon the Northern Continent.

He had chanced upon a book, about the Palace of Death.

"The front door to the palace of death is locked," read Hitler. "With a key."

"The Key of Death."

"I must find this Key of Death," said Hitler evilly. "And then I can retrieve the Sword of Death before Geralt does."

Hitler summoned a Nazi Elf Draugr forth.

"Go and find the Key of Death," he said to the Nazi Elf Draugr.

"Where?" asked the Nazi Elf Draugr.

"That's what you're supposed to figure out!" said Hitler.

"Very well," said the Nazi Elf Draugr. "I will find the Key of Death."

Team Witcher arrived at the head offices of the Ikron Corporation. They walked up to the receptionist.

"We want to see the person in charge of this Ikron Corporation," said Geralt to the receptionist at the front desk.

"You want to see Mr Ikron?" said the receptionist. "You're an employee. Employees don't get to see Mr Ikron."

"We're not employees anymore," said Geralt.

The receptionist then moved her hand up to the top of her forehead, and pulled downwards. Her skin came off her face, revealing a droid face.

She was a droid!

Geralt shot fire at her, and then he suddenly saw a box with Team Witcher's weapons conveniently located under the receptionist desk. He did a ninja flip over the desk, went under, and grabbed Smite.

He then beheaded the receptionist and all of the other security droids that were advancing upon him.

Iorverth grabbed his sword, and Ciri grabbed her portal gun.

"Now, where is the office of this Mr Ikron?" asked Geralt.

And then, the man with the mask suddenly reappeared behind Geralt.

"You again!" remarked Geralt. "You keep randomly appearing and disappearing."

"Mr Ikron's office is down that hallway: the first door on the left," he said quickly. And then he vanished again.

"Who was he?" asked Ciri.

"I'm not entirely sure," replied Geralt.

Then, Team Witcher walked down the corridor, and went through the first door to the left. The room was dark and moody.

There was a really big desk on the other side of the room. At that desk, was a really big chair, turned away from Team Witcher.

"We are here to stop your dastardly deeds, Mr Ikron!" said Geralt. "Give yourself up!"

"My name is not Ikron," said a slightly familiar voice coming from behind the chair. "Ikron is merely an anagram."

And then the chair slowly turned around... revealing...

Darth Rikon!

He drew his crimson lightsaber and attacked.

TO BE CONTINUED

IN

THE WITCHER: PART XXXIII

THE PHANTOM MENACE