The Witcher: Part XXXIV
The Body in the Library
Previously, on The Witcher:
Darth Rikon has been revealed to be - Geralt's father Korin!
Geralt stands at the edge of the gantry, defenseless due to kryptonite. The rest of Team Witcher are going to be frozen in carbonite!
How will our heroes make it out of this predicament?
"How can you be my father?" yelled Geralt, exasperated. "It's not possible for a human to give rise to a chicken!"
"I am a chicken," said Rikon without missing a beat. "Or rather, I was born a chicken. I was grievously injured, and Adolf Hitler suited me up and restored me to full operating order. Now, you will join me and Hitler, or be destroyed."
Geralt edged closer and closer to the edge of the gantry. He looked down to the ultimate drop of doom. Down the shaft, he could see a small ledge. He realised if he jumped correctly, he might be able to reach the ledge.
"I will never betray my morals," said Geralt defiantly.
And then he jumped off the gantry.
Falling, Geralt aimed his sword towards the ledge, attempting to streamline himself to reach the ledge. Unfortunately, he missed and continued to fall to his doom down the reactor shaft.
Iorverth, Lady Feudalism, and Ciri were being dragged by a bunch of droids to the carbonite freeze facility of the Ikron Corporation.
"I don't want to be frozen in carbonite," said Ciri to one of the droids. "Can you please find it in your heart to let me free?"
"I don't have a heart," replied the droid. "I am made of metal."
They were dragged into the carbonite freezing facility.
"You will now be frozen," said the droid.
Iorverth, Ciri, and Lady Feudalism were slowly lowered into the carbonite.
"Where is Geralt when you need him?" said Lady Feudalism.
And then, out of nowhere, a man in a white mask entered the room and lightninged all of the droids to death.
"Oh, look, a friendly deus ex machina," said Ciri.
The man in the white mask unbound Ciri and Iorverth and Lady Feudalism. His voice sounded robotic and distorted.
"Ciri!" said the man excitedly.
"Lady Feudalism!"
And then he turned to Iorverth.
"Iorverth..."
He lingered on that name.
"Iorverth… I'm so sorry."
"Sorry for what? How do you know our names anyway?" asked Iorverth.
"Never mind that," said the masked man. "Let's get out of here."
Geralt was plummeting down the reactor shaft. It was very long. It seemed to have no end.
"If there's no end, then I suppose I won't die," reasoned Geralt.
Unfortunately after a few seconds Geralt saw the bottom of the reactor shaft. And then, out of nowhere, the masked man from before appeared, flew up, swept Geralt into his arms, and deposited Geralt safely on the ground.
"You again," said Geralt to the man with the mask.
"Hi Geralt," said the man. "Let's reunite you with the rest of your team, and then you can continue on your quest."
Iorverth, Ciri, and Lady Feudalism were walking down an Ikron Corporation hallway with the masked man.
"Where is Geralt, by the way?" asked the masked man.
"I don't know," replied Iorverth. "I think he'd probably be fighting Darth Rikon right now or something."
"Oh, that's right," said the masked man as if he was remembering something. "I'll bring him to you."
And then the masked man suddenly disappeared.
A few moments later, Geralt walked in with the masked man.
"How did you get to him so quickly?" asked Lady Feudalism.
"Doesn't really matter," replied the man.
"Quickly? I've been walking with this guy for five minutes," said Geralt.
"He's only been gone a few seconds though," pointed out Ciri.
"He must have been in two places at once!" concluded Iorverth.
"Oh... uh..." began the masked man. "That was my... uh... twin," he said quite unconvincingly.
"What's going on with you?" asked Lady Feudalism.
Just then, Darth Rikon burst in.
"My son, you have survived!" he said to Geralt. "I will grant you one more chance to change your mind."
And then the masked man, ever the deus ex machina, Fus Ro Dah'd Rikon into the corridor wall. Rikon collapsed to the ground.
"Okay, let's go," said Geralt.
"No," said the masked man. "You need to talk to your father and make him see reason."
"Okay," said Geralt, turning over the prostrate form of his father. "My father, why have you forsaken me? Why have you followed the path of Hitler? Why?"
Rikon breathed slowly.
"Because... I thought... I owed Adolf Hitler. He saved me. He showed me the power of evil, and I obeyed him."
Geralt raised a finger to his father's forehead. His magick had returned.
"Korin... you will no longer be evil. You will no longer kill. You will no longer work for Adolf Hitler."
And then Korin lapsed into unconsciousness.
"You have done well," said the man with the mask. "He will no longer plague you as a foe."
"How do you know all this anyway?" asked Iorverth skeptically. "How were you in two places at once? How are you so powerful?"
"Very well," said the masked man. "I will reveal myself, but don't expect any explanation… at least for a while. As far as you're concerned, what you are about to see might constitute a plot hole."
And the man grabbed his mask and pulled it off his face.
Geralt stared into the masked man's eyes.
The man's face was his own.
Although older, and with long white hair rather than short red hair.
"No explanations," said the older Geralt.
And then he disappeared.
"Oh well, let's continue our journey," said Geralt.
And they left the Ikron Corporation.
Nazi Elf Draugr #1420 arrived in Adolf Hitler's temporary office. Adolf Hitler had taken up residence in a mansion near the lake. His office was dimly lit and somewhat dank.
"I have the Key of Death," said Nazi Elf Draugr #1420.
"Goood," breathed Hitler slowly. "Now it is certain that I will get to the Sword of Death first."
And then Adolf Hitler grabbed his massive sword and plunged it through Nazi Elf Draugr #1420's chest.
"Lol," said Hitler at the twitching form of the dying Nazi Elf Draugr.
It was getting dark.
Team Witcher were flying along, when they saw a lake with a library beside it.
"Let's stop there for the night," said Geralt.
Team Witcher landed their carpet outside the library. 'The Library of Death' was plastered in large, bold letters above the front door.
"This looks like a lovely place to stay," said Iorverth sarcastically.
They entered the library and were greeted by a corpse collapsed on the front desk. Iorverth walked up to the corpse, and rested his hand on the dead man's head.
"Recently dead. Died due to a snapped neck."
"Ooh, a murder mystery. I love murder mysteries," said Ciri.
Geralt walked into a library side room and came out with a pipe and a Sherlock Holmes hat.
"Time to make some deductions," he said.
He grabbed a Sherlock Holmes book from a nearby shelf and flicked through it.
"Judging by the fact that there's only one entrance to this dark and creepy library, I can deduce that the murderer entered and exited through the front door!" said Geralt.
"I wanted to be the sleuth," said Iorverth, but nobody heard him.
Geralt waddled out the front door and saw an unusual brown patch on the concrete outside the library.
"This brown patch must be dirt," said Geralt.
"No, shit, Sherlock," pointed out Ciri.
"Hmm... this does indeed appear to be fecal matter," said Geralt.
"Didn't we see a cow farm a little bit to the east of here?" asked Lady Feudalism.
"Yes!" said Geralt. "So that means the murderer must have come from the east!"
"He must have come from that mansion we saw," added Ciri.
Meanwhile, Iorverth saw an interesting book on the front desk. 'The Key of Death' it said. Iorverth read it, and then realised that the Key of Death would be essential for them to succeed on their quest to retrieve the Sword of Death.
"Hey guys!" he said to Geralt and Lady Feudalism and Ciri.
They didn't respond.
"Fine, if you'll just ignore me, then I'll have to make my own deductions," said Iorverth. "According to this book, the Key of Death was supposed to be around the neck of the librarian of the Library of Death. So obviously, the perpetrator must have killed the librarian to get the key. And the only person who would have sufficient motive to kill the librarian like this… is Adolf Hitler."
"Geralt!" shouted Iorverth. "I found something..."
They weren't listening.
"Fine, then," said Iorverth. I'll have to go and face Hitler and retrieve the Key of Death myself."
TO BE CONTINUED
IN
THE WITCHER: PART XXXV
TO THE DEATH