I am so terrible. I promised people I would work on this ages ago, but then.. well, I'm not even going to make excuses because I'm so terrible at updating I'll likely do it again. Sorry!

Also, due to popular demand, I now have a tumblr! I will be posting updates, sneak peeks, etc., so check it out! I'm lunarmischief.

MoonClaimed is so seriously fantastic and you should all go and read all of her stuff.

I own nothing.

"I said, release Miss Potts," Iron Man boomed, lifting his hand threatingly as he prepared to fire a repulsor blast.

Pepper snapped out of her grumbling, and, realizing that she was currently in the car that her boyfriend was threatening to shoot, scrambled for the handle. She stumbed out in her haste. "Tony, I'm fine!" she shouted, storming over to him. "And I specifically told you not to suit up!"

Iron Man's weapons returned to their compartments and his faceplate lifted, revealing the one and only Tony Stark. "Can't be too careful," he shrugged.

"With the government?" Pepper asked, incredulous.

"Hey, look at what happened to SHIELD. Speaking of which, Cap is going to kill me." Pepper raised a demanding eyebrow. "I might have thrown him into a wall during training and then bailed."

Pepper shook her head. "Tony…"

"I know, I know. But really, you're okay?" he asked, voice softening.

"I'm okay," she said, leaning in and giving him a peck on the lips. "Thanks for worrying."

Back in the SUV, Tim's voice returned to him. "It's Tony Stark," he whispered breathlessly. "Oh my god, it's really him."

"Breath, McGee!" Dinozzo said, grabbing his shoulder. "He's a billionaire, not Al Capone."

"It's Tony Stark!" he bellowed, and, classy as ever, he fell out of the car and ran over to the Stark of Stark Industries and grabbed the man'sI' hand with both of his, shaking it furiously, smack in the middle of the intimate moment. "Let me just say, Mr. Stark, what an honor it is to meet you. The way you revolutionized modern day technology using-"

"Yeah, uh, thanks," Tony said, face slightly flushed. While in interviews he was always a cocky ass, this was a man who was genuinely geeking out over him. The fact that it was a federal agent who was acting like a six year old wasn't helping. "Anyway," he said, jerking his hand out of the other man's grip, "we really should be going now. C'mon, Pep-"

"Sorry, no can do," Tony Dinozzo said as he casually strolled over to the superhero. "We need to take her statement."

"I'll e-mail it to you."

Tim's eyes widened. "You can do that?"

"McGeek, I can do that." The senior field agent put his sunglasses back on. "We really need to do it in person," Tony said, smiling charmingly at Pepper.

"Tony, it's fine," she assured her boyfriend. "I don't have a meeting until Wednesday, so what's the rush?"

Tony sighed. "Fine. Let's just get this over with."

Pepper looked at him quizzically. "You're staying? I thought you'd want to get back to the workshop. Weren't you working on something with your targeting system?"

He shrugged. "What's one day? Besides, flew all the way down here. Might as well see the sights."

"Whatever you're doing, just move," a gruff voice called. "You're blocking the way."

"Mr. Stark, Ms. Potts, allow me to introduce you to Gibbs," Agent Dinozzo smiled. "You're going to love him."

While NCIS' Tony took Pepper upstairs to question her about what she had witnessed, Tony Stark was led downstairs by Tim and Ziva.

"You're going to love it down here, Mr. Stark," Tim said, still jittering with excitement. "Abby's lab is full of all sorts cool machines – nothing as cool as Stark tech, I'm sure. Unless any of it is Stark tech, in which case you probably designed it, so you might-"

"What Agent McGee is trying to say, Mr. Stark," Ziva interrupted, "is that you might find the lab more exciting than upstairs. Or at the very least, you might give us an upgrade."

The inventor smiled, grateful for Ziva's calmness. "Honestly, anything is better than paperwork." The elevator dinged and the trio stepped out and walked into the forensic scientist's lab.

"Timmy, I'm glad you're here," Abby said without looking up. "I've been looking at..." She paused, sensing more than one person in the room, and spun around. Her Cafpow clattered to the floor. "No way."

"Abby, I'd like you to meet Mr. Stark," Ziva introduced cordially.

"That's… and he's… you're…hi," the goth said at last.

Tony raised an eyebrow. "Hello." He stared up at her for a moment.

"Has anyone ever told you that you were shorter than they thought you would be?" Abby blurted out, covering her mouth as soon as the words left her lips.

"Abby!" Tim scolded.

Tony, bless him, just smirked. "Once or twice. But who needs height when you have genius?"

"Abby," Ziva said, breaking the silence that fell on the room, "why don't you show Mr. Stark around?"

"Oh! Right. Um." She bit her lip. "I don't know where to start."

Tony glanced around, grimacing. "It looks like a lot of…biology." He suppressed a shudder.

"Some of it is. I mean, you've got your gel electrophoresis, your fingerprint dusting, but sometimes we match ballistics or chemical compounds to… Okay," she nodded, realizing she was rambling. She looked down at Tony, suddenly realizing what he would be interested in, and grinned. "How would you like to see my workshop, Mr. Stark?"

"And you're sure that's all you saw?" Tony asked, scribbling down some information in a pad. Pepper nodded. "What about the car? Did you see any-" The phone in the conference room cut him off. "Hold on," he said, picking it up. "Dinozzo." He paused, digesting what he was being told, and Pepper frowned, being all too familiar with the you've-got-to-be-kidding-me face. "Yeah, we'll be right there." He hung up and sighed.

"Tony?" Pepper questioned.

"Hm?"

"Sorry, I meant my Tony. What did he do now?"

"McGee is definitely pulling my leg."

Pepper let out a humorless laugh. "Knowing Tony, he's really not."

"Get down!" Ziva shouted, taking cover behind a car from another case and narrowly escaping the foam that was blasted at her. "How do we stop it?" she yelled across the room.

"How should I know?" Tony grunted from his own hiding spot behind a tool box.

"You made it!"

"Not intentionally!"

"Tony!" Pepper's shrill voice carried down the hallway. "What did I say about building robots outside the workshop? Hell, what did I say about building them in the workshop? Oh!" she exclaimed in surprise as she was nearly hit with something pink. She quickly ducked back into the doorway.

"It wasn't my fault!" Tony called back.

"Oh, I suppose the robots just built themselves."

"It was an accident!" he protested

"Were you sleep creating again?"

"…No."

"Tony."

"Okay, maybe a little," he admitted. "But it's not my fault that I'm a genius!"

"What kind of genius plants an AI chip in a fire extinguisher? How do you even do that?" Pepper asked, exasperated.

"It's surprisingly simple, actually. You-"

"Tony," Pepper said firmly, glaring at her boyfriend. "Fix now, explain later."

"I'm not killing one of my children," he protested.

"Your children? What are you - oh," she said, realization dawning on her. "You were thinking of him, weren't you? Dummy?"

"What? Of course not."

"Tony."

Tony sighed, running a hand through his hair. "Alright, fine; I'm worried about the guy. He doesn't do well on his own. And then…."

"And then there was a fire extinguisher in your hand with an AI in it," Pepper said, completing the inventor's thought. "He'll be fine," she added, softer. "He's a big boy, Tony."

"He's not and you know it!"

She chuckled lightly. "You know, sometimes I wonder who it is that can't live without the other. I'm done giving my statement, by the way, in case you wanted to head out," she added quickly before Tony could deny his feelings.

"I promised Abby an upgrade," he smiled apologetically.

"Here's your cappuccino with three shots of espresso, extra foam and extra cinnamon," Tim said, rushing into the workshop, nearly tripping in his haste to please. "I hope it's to your liking, sir."

Tony took a sip and all but purred. "Thanks, Timmy. But do you know what would go great with this? A blueberry yogurt muffin."

"I'm on it, sir!" Tim said, springing into action and actually stumbling a bit as he booked it out of there.

The fire extinguisher struck again, this time blasting Tony's drink out of his hand. "Tim!" he shouted. The agent's face popped out of the doorway a moment later, nearly getting hit himself. "I'm going to need another cappuccino."

"Coming right up!" Tim scurried away again.

Pepper stared at the agent's retreating form for a moment before looking back at her boyfriend deadpan. "I'm sure the upgrades are only reason you want to stay," she said flatly.

Tony shrugged, not denying the claim. "Kid knows his stuff, though. I'm doing the upgrades with him, actually."

"With him?" Pepper asked, unbelieving.

"Okay, so I'm doing them, but I'm showing him a few tricks," he shrugged as if it were nothing.

Pepper smirked. "You like him."

"What? No, he's just some guy."

"That you're teaching some stuff to. Tony, you won't even tell Steve how to use tabs on chrome, and it's Steve."

Tony opened his mouth to argue, then closed it, considering his girlfriend's words. "Steve can barely handle a phone and you think he's ready for tabs?" He met Pepper's stare for a moment before conceding. "But you have a point. But like I said, kid knows his stuff."

"And?"

"And… he's okay, I guess. Goofy, certainly a geek, but… I'll teach him."

"You big old softie you. I'm going to head to the hotel; I have some paperwork to take care of. Don't stay out too late, okay?" She leaned in and pecked him on the lips before heading to the exit. "Good night, Tony."

Tony grunted in response, examining the fire extinguisher, completely oblivious to Abby as she walked into the workshop, humming. Her jaw dropped when she saw the damages. "What… but… how… I was gone for five minutes!"

Tony growled as the fire extinguisher sprayed him in the face. "Maybe I should dismantle you…"

It was some hours later that Tony emerged from one of the lab's computers and saw that his phone was blinking, notifying him of a voicemail. Long used to not hearing the damn thing when he was elbows deep in work, he picked it up without caring that whoever called was probably pissed at him for not answering. Realizing that it was from Pepper, he entered his password and called his voicemail. Before the message started, though, it dawned on him that Pepper had called not even ten minutes from when she left him. A strange feeling in his gut, he pressed play.

"-on, come on – Tony!" Pepper's voice sounded frantic. "I think, no wait, I don't think, I know. There's someone following me, Tony. I've driven all sorts of paths and this car hasn't stopped tailing me since I left the office. When you get this, Tony, please call – Oh, he's gone…" She laughed. "Sorry, he was behind me for so long, I just assumed… Well don't I feel silly now. Do me a favor, Tony? Bring home a bottle of something because I think I could use a drink. And don't – Oh god!" she screamed, and there was a screeching of brakes, a crash, and then there was nothing.