The Witcher: Part XXXV

To the Death

Previously, on The Witcher:

Hitler has acquired the Key of Death, which is essential for entry into the Palace of Death. Only Iorverth has realised this, and none of the other members of Team Witcher are listening to him. He has made the decision to retrieve the Key of Death himself.

The journey continues...

It was a bright morning in Vizima. In one of the houses on the outer edge of the inner ring, there lived a young lad named Iorverth.

"I want to be a hero," he said to his mother. "I want to be celebrated. I want to be remembered. I want to make a difference."

Iorverth had never given up his childish dreams.

"Okay, then," said Iorverth's mother, as she always did.

Iorverth remembered that morning clearly. That was the morning that they came. And at the end of it, Iorverth was orphaned. It was that morning that set him on the path to join the militia. He joined the group of brave heroes who had brought those responsible for his mother's death to justice.

And then Iorverth woke up.

He sat up on the cold floor of the Library of Death, and watched Geralt and Ciri and Lady Feudalism sleep for a few moments. He had no regrets.

"Iorverth. Why are you doing this?" came a voice from behind him.

It was the ghost of his mother.

"Why are you going off on this suicide mission?"

"Because if I don't then we have no chance of beating Adolf Hitler," replied Iorverth.

"You don't need to prove you're a hero," said Iorverth's mother. "You're doing good already."

"I'm always overshadowed by Geralt, anyway," said Iorverth. "He thinks he's the protagonist of this story. He's wrong."

And with that, Iorverth left the library and ran off towards the west.

After a few minutes, Iorverth came across a shadow crouching in a bush. The silhouette stepped out, revealing pointed ears. It was Tivoherr.

"Iorverth..." said the hallucination of the other side of Iorverth's mind.

"Are you here to threaten me again?" asked Iorverth.

"No," replied Tivoherr. "I'm here to tell you that what you're doing is incredibly stupid and is probably going to get you killed. And your death is definitely not in the best interests of my own self-preservation."

"Get stuffed," replied Iorverth.

"I don't want to die," said Tivoherr. "Please don't head off on this stupid suicide mission."

"If I don't, Hitler will win and get absolute power of the world," replied Iorverth. "I can't let that happen."

And Iorverth brushed Tivoherr away with a single thought, and Tivoherr disappeared in a curl of rising smoke.

Geralt was the first to notice that Iorverth was gone. He awoke at around midnight, and quickly roused Ciri and Lady Feudalism.

"Is this Tivoherr again?" asked Lady Feudalism.

"I don't think so," said Geralt, who had found a note Iorverth had left.

"Gone out," read Geralt. "Going to nick the Key of Death from Hitler so we can actually get into the Palace of Death. Should be back by around quarter to six.
Best regards - Iorverth."

"He's gone on a suicide mission," said Ciri pessimistically.

"We need to stop him from going to fight Hitler!" said Lady Feudalism, panicked.

"It's too late," said Geralt, once again donning the Sherlock Holmes cap. "Judging from the amount this ink has dried, Iorverth is probably already at Hitler's mansion. Even at our top speed, we won't be there to help him."

Lady Feudalism ran her hands through her hair. She swore under her breath.

"I hope he'll somehow come back alive," she then said.

There was a small army of Nazi Elf Draugr surrounding Hitler's mansion. Iorverth snuck carefully past them. He went up to a side door on the mansion. It was locked. He then went up to a back door. It was locked. The only way in was to go through heavily guarded front door. Iorverth snuck carefully towards the front door, but he was noticed.

"Stop right there, criminal scum!" yelled a Nazi Elf Draugr.

Iorverth drew his sword and sliced the Nazi Elf Draugr. It fell back, dead.

"Geralt wouldn't approve," said Iorverth. "But there's no time for that now."

He fought off a bunch of other Nazi Elf Draugr and entered through Hitler's front door. Conveniently, he found a map of Hitler's temporary house near the entrance. Now, he knew where the Key of Death would likely be kept. Hitler's bedroom.

Iorverth crept up the stairs as quietly as possible. And then suddenly, a Heinrich Himmler jumped down from the ceiling. Upon realising Iorverth was a threat, the Himmler started to divide to produce a small group specifically created to combat Iorverth. Iorverth, with his incredible fencing skill, beheaded them all with a single spin attack.

"So much for monoclonal selection," said Iorverth.

He then continued to creep through Hitler's mansion, reaching the second storey. And then, finally, after about half a minute of searching, Iorverth saw a large boss door at the end of a corridor. On it, was inscribed a single five-letter word.

ADOLF

This was Hitler's bedroom.

Iorverth grabbed the handle on the boss door, and pushed it open. In Hitler's bedroom, there was a massive sixteen poster bed in the centre of the room. In the middle of the bed, lay Adolf Hitler, sleeping.

Next to him, there lay another form. Iorverth leaned in closer to see this mystery figure that Hitler was sleeping with. It was actually Hitler's giant sword, with a big, red, sharp blade. Iorverth crept down and looked at Adolf Hitler. Around his neck, there was a key, with the inscription K.O.D.

The Key of Death was found.

Iorverth pulled out his sword and severed the cord keeping the Key of Death around Hitler's neck. And then Iorverth pocketed the Key of Death. His stealth mission was a success! He slowly walked away, leaving the room. And then…

He heard a distinctly German voice coming from behind him.

"You shouldn't have come here."

Hitler was awake.

"I have come here to kill you," lied Iorverth.

"Oh... okay," said Hitler. Then he laughed.

"Lol, no."

Hitler grabbed his massive sword, and jumped up and sliced a Iorverth. Iorverth parried but was thrown into the wall by the force of the blow. Iorverth stood up and stabbed at Hitler. Hitler pushed Iorverth back with a magickek gust of wind, pushing Iorverth through the wall. Iorverth fell down into the main hall of Hitler's mansion. Hitler jumped down, through the broken wall.

"Now, you will die," said Hitler.

Hitler stabbed. Iorverth parried. Hitler sliced. Iorverth parried and sliced back. Hitler shot a vaporisation bolt at Iorverth, but Iorverth dodged and sliced, cutting Hitler across the cheek. Hitler, in a rage, sliced. Iorverth parried, but the force of the blow knocked his sword out of his hand.

And then Hitler stabbed Iorverth through the chest.

Iorverth collapsed to the ground, mortally wounded.

"Band!" called Hitler.

A spindly man from Hitler's band walked up to Hitler and gave him a piece of cloth to wipe the green blood off his face.

"Take the body of this wretch outside for the vultures," said Hitler.

"Yes, sir," said the spindly man.

It was 6:46 am. Iorverth wasn't back.

"Where is he?" said Lady Feudalism, horribly worried.

The three sat in the Library of Death, all anxious. And then, at roughly 7am, a figure staggered into the Library of Death. It was Iorverth, with a giant hole in his chest. Iorverth collapsed onto the cold ground.

"Iorverth!" cried Lady Feudalism.

"I... have... the key..." said Iorverth.

He reached into his pocket and dropped the Key of Death on the ground beside him.

"Can you heal him?" said Lady Feudalism desperately to Geralt.

Geralt walked up to Iorverth and placed his hand over Iorverth's chest wound. His tone was sombre.

"No. I'm sorry."

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" cried Lady Feudalism.

"I'm sorry for running off on you..." said Iorverth, "but I needed to get the Key of Death. Otherwise Hitler wins."

Ciri sat silently. Lady Feudalism sobbed. Geralt was somewhat stoic.

"Lady Feudalism..." began Iorverth slowly. "You have been... reasonably good. It was an honour serving you."

"I love you!" cried Lady Feudalism somewhat melodramatically.

"That's good..." said Iorverth. "And Geralt… today, I have learned that I am not the true protagonist of this story. You... are the... protagonist. You... are... the hero… and… you... must... avenge... me. You must... kill... Hitler..."

And then Iorverth stopped moving and was no more.

Ciri and Lady Feudalism remained silent as they took Iorverth's body out of the Library of Death. Geralt fashioned a small boat out of a nearby tree using magick. Lady Feudalism held onto Iorverth's sword, and remained silent. Ciri had no snarky comment to make. Geralt, ever stoic, placed Iorverth's body in the boat, and pushed it out across the lake. And then Geralt conjured a fireball, and shot it across the lake at the boat.

"A viking funeral," said Geralt.

The sun rose as the new Team Witcher watched the smoke curl up into the sky.

TO BE CONTINUED
IN
THE WITCHER: PART XXXVI
HALF-LIFE