I kind of can't believe it's 8:42 AM on a Sunday and I'm awake and not lying half-asleep in bed. This is either a miracle or a nightmare. Anyhow, here I am! Huffah for new chapters! This one is long, so you're welcome. I'm not really sure I like it. It's kinda meh. But I'll probably make it worse if I spend too much time on it, so Imma just post it and get it over with.

Tomorrow is my last day of school! YES! (It's on a Monday, though...) Still, YES! Summer vacation! And that means I'll have lots of time to post stuff! Yay! (Well, yay for you guys. Posting stuff is a lot of work for me.)

Aaaaaaanyway, I'm rambling. Sorry. I have a lot of early morning energy for some reason. But seriously, I'll stop now. Enjoy the chapter!

Life has many ways of testing a person's will, either by having nothing happen at all or by having everything happen all at once. - Paul Coelho

Juvia felt as though she should be crying, but she couldn't seem to find the energy. Porlyusica glanced over at her periodically, her sharp eyes wary. "You're not going get weepy on me again, are you?" she asked for the third time in the last two minutes.

"Juvia is okay, Porlyusica-san. Juvia has had enough crying to last her a lifetime. More than her fair share, really." She chuckled wryly at the irony. She had been allotted lifetime's worth of tears, but only a fraction of a lifetime.

Porlyusica didn't say that she probably would have been more comfortable had Juvia been bawling hysterically. The abrupt calm was unnerving.

Really, Jace had been much more panicked by it than she had, Juvia thought, recalling the events of the morning.

"Juvia, are you going to the guild today?" Juvia rubbed her eyes sleepily, glancing at the time on the clock. 7:30 AM. Jace smiled at her from his seat in her armchair. He was munching on a bagel and flipping through one of her favorite trashy romance novels.

"Juvia thinks she will go shopping today," she mused, pushing herself up from the bed. She swung her legs over the side and braced herself for the early-morning chill that would freeze the soles of her feet. Oddly enough, she couldn't feel anything from her feet. Not cold, not heat, not the sensation of touch, even when she pressed them into the floor. "Jace," she whispered. He glanced up at her.

"What's the matter? Do I have to come with you or so–" The pain in Juvia's expression said everything he didn't want to hear. "No. No, Juvia, no no no. You can't already be–" He lunged from the chair, reaching for his older sister blindly. Jace collapsed on his knees in front of her. "Where? Where is it?" He dragged fearful hands down her bare arms, searching for the source of his panic. "What can I do? How do I make it stop?" he begged. His teeth pulled his lower lip into his mouth and released it with a pop. Juvia thought she saw the red shine of blood.

"Jace, stop," Juvia breathed. "It's okay. Just calm down."

"How am I supposed to calm down when my sister can't stand up?" he exploded, pushing himself to his feet and running his fingers through his ice-blue hair. "I can see through your legs, Goddamn it!"

"Jace, come here," Juvia said softly. When he only continued to pace, she sighed. "Jace. Please come over here. I can't go over there to you." Jace stopped pacing, his back to Juvia. A funny choking sound escaped his throat, like he was attempting to cough up a hairball. That sound, more than anything else, made Juvia want to wail. She hated seeing her brother cry. She hated making her brother cry. "Jace, come here," she repeated.

He scrubbed his face with the back of a hand and returned to sit by Juvia's faded feet. "I didn't think it would hurt this much," he mumbled, his voice roughened by unshed tears. Juvia stroked his hair gently, like she used to do in the nights he couldn't sleep because their mother was screaming in pain.

"You will be okay," she said confidently. "I know you will." His eyes closed, and he leaned his cheek against the side of the bed.

"I don't know how the world will keep turning without you in it, Vivi," Jace muttered, using his old nickname for her. "There's no way I'll be alright." Juvia smiled a secret little smile.

"Yes, you will. You will be more than alright, JJ." Before he could ask how, she removed her fingers from his hair. "Will you carry Juvia to Porlyusica-san's house? It's probably best for Juvia to stay there from now on. You can stay here as long as you want, though."

Jace brought her, arguing the whole way. "I still don't see why I can't stay with you."

"Porlyusica-san doesn't like humans," Juvia informed him. "You're lucky if she even lets you inside."

Porlyusica cast another suspicious glance at Juvia, who was staring out the roughly cut window at the slowly darkening forest and humming tunelessly. She suspected the girl was in shock. She was dying – if she wasn't crying at this point, there was definitely something wrong. The older woman briefly considered snapping her out of it, but the consequences were messy, and there was no real benefit for either of them if Juvia had a nervous breakdown.

No, certainly not.

"What were you doing yesterday?" she asked, stripping dried leaves from a stem.

"Juvia went out on a job with Gray-sama," Juvia answered, smiling at the window. Porlyusica would have slapped her if her hands hadn't been full.

"Is there really a brain in that skull?" she grumbled. The brittle stalk snapped between her fingers. "Why would you do that when you should be avoiding sunlight at all costs? Do you have no sense of self-preservation?"

"Juvia wanted to go on a job with Gray-sama before she disappears," the younger woman said simply. "Juvia doesn't regret doing it."

Gray had arrived at the guild at five in the morning and was still there, twelve hours later, waiting for Juvia to show her face. She would have to eventually, he reasoned, and then he could corner her and make her spill whatever it was that she was refusing to tell him.

Unfortunately, spending twelve hours at the guild meant that he had nothing to do for half the day but ask himself why he had turned into some sort of stalker just to get one girl's secret. A girl who, he might add, was not so long ago the last person he'd be caught dead waiting for.

Mira handed him his eighteenth glass of water with a smile. "Waiting for someone, Gray?"

"No," he muttered, gulping down half of the water in one swig. "Why do you ask?" She giggled lightly.

"Oh, well, it's just that you've been here since dawn and haven't moved from that stool once in all that time. And you stripped all the way down to your underwear, which you haven't done in a long time. You do that when you're stressed." Gray cursed the childhood he had spent with Mirajane Strauss. She read him way too well.

The sound of the enormous guild door slamming open echoed through the hall, silencing every mouth instantly. Gray's eyes narrowed at the figure stalking towards him. "Jace," he greeted coolly. Jace stared him down wordlessly, his expression blank, his eyes empty. Gray stared back, struggling to keep his own expression neutral. Finally Jace sighed.

"Gray. I need to talk to you." He waved briefly at Mira and walked away, not waiting to make sure Gray followed him. He did, of course – Jace was possibly the closest person to Juvia, and if anyone knew what was happening to her, he would.

Jace marched down the street quickly, and Gray had to jog to catch up to him. "So, what did you want to say?" he asked, trying to catch a glimpse of Jace's face. He just kept walking.

"Not here," he muttered. "A little farther."

They stopped at the river and sat on the embankment, watching the water run past tranquilly. "Okay, so start talking," Gray said, not looking at Jace. He'd decided he didn't want to see whatever expression the other man was making.

"I'm a mage like you and Juvia," Jace began. Gray wanted to punch him. He'd been dragged away to the river to listen to some rant about being a mage? Screw that. "I use illusion magic." He snapped his fingers and held out his palm. Two tiny figures danced on his palm, smiling at each other. They grew until they were life-sized, dressed in formal wear and leaning forward to whisper in each other's ears as they waltzed along the river. Gray stared, his eyes nearly popping out of their sockets. The male dancer had his face, and the girl he was dancing with was Juvia. She laughed, throwing back her head, and Gray saw the tenderness in his own eyes.

"What the hell is this?" he grated, and watched as the two disappeared. Jace shrugged.

"I just told you. I'm an illusionist. That was an illusion I created." He leaned back on the grass, pillowing his head on his arms. "When she was younger, Juvia was always alone. The other kids hated her because she was 'gloomy.'" Jace snorted. "She was miserable. That was when I first discovered my magic, actually. All I wanted was a way to cheer her up. So I started creating little worlds for her. An illusion where she was the beloved princess of a faraway kingdom, or where she was a pretty fairy with a thousand fairy friends. I thought it would help her, but she just got more distant. She wasn't interested in real people – all she wanted was to play in her illusion world. I had no idea what I was doing to her. All I knew was I wanted her to smile."

Gray wanted to interrupt to ask just what his relationship with Juvia was, but the distance in Jace's eyes wrapped around his tongue and held it still.

"We would spend hours on the playground behind our school together, just so Juvia could lose herself in a fantasy I created. I watched as pieces of her reality disappeared into the void she was fighting so desperately, and I stood by while she ate and slept less and less. The bullying only got worse, of course, and she sank deeper into the hole we were digging."

Jace took a long, deep breath. "I was afraid that if I let Juvia keep going, her mind would vanish altogether, and I would be left with the hollow shell of the girl I adored since I first met her.

"I was terrified, so I abandoned her and ran away from home."

The thing Juvia hated most about not having legs was the empty hours she couldn't fill. Her mind got bored and wandered the old, unused paths into her past. It brought her through times she wished she could eradicate from history; it reminded her of all the things she had to cry about. Juvia had already had enough crying.

"Why won't Mommy stop screaming, Vivi?" Jace whispered, his tiny body trembling in Juvia's thin arms. She tugged the heavy blanket over his shoulders and tucked the edges under his arms. He was so fragile, she thought he might break under her touch. She had seen so many broken things already – it never took much.

"Mama's in a lot of pain right now," Juvia whispered back, brushing her little brother's hair back from his forehead soothingly. "The medicine isn't working well enough, and the sickness is hurting her very much. Go to sleep, JJ. It'll be alright in the morning."

"Why isn't the medicine working?" Jace wanted to know. Juvia sighed.

"Because we can't afford the special medicine Mama needs," she murmured. "Now go to sleep, or I'll put carrots in your lunch tomorrow." Jace frowned at his sister through the dark.

"No carrots."

"Then go to bed." Juvia poked his cheek. "Hurry up." He snuggled closer to her and faked a snore. She giggled softly and kissed his forehead. "Goodnight, Jace. Remember, every morning is the start of another day we'll be together."

She was awake until dawn came behind the heavy gray clouds, listening to the broken sobbing of her mother and the harsh, frantic whispers of her father.

"Jace," Juvia called. "Jace ,where'd you go? It's time for dinner." She wandered through the small house on the hill, searching for her little brother. A narrow crease of worry lined her forehead. Jace had been acting strangely that day, not meeting her eyes, barely listening to her when she spoke. "Jace?" she said, poking her head into the only room she had yet to search – their shared bedroom. The air felt cold, and the bed looked wrong, empty. The sheets were made neatly. She hadn't made the sheets that morning, and Jace only ever did it when he had done something bad. "Jace?" Juvia repeated, her voice rising in frequency. She crossed the room to fling open the door to the closet. "Are you hiding? Come out already!"

She tore through the room, ripping the sheets off the bed and pulling the drawers out of the dresser. "Jace, where are you? Jace!"

Juvia sat slumped in the middle of the room, panting and crying. "Jace, come back. I need you, JJ. Where did you go?"

Outside, the rain poured down on the lonely house on the hill.

"Juvia!"

"I'm sorry, Papa. I didn't know Mama was sleeping." The anger on her father's face faded as he exhaled, but the lines of age seemed to deepen. His shoulders, no longer puffed with irritation, slumped pitifully.

"Where is Jace? Don't you two always play together?"

Juvia stared at the chipped wood floorboards, fighting the tears that surged up her throat. Swallowing with difficulty, she mumbled, "He's been gone for a week, Papa."

Her father sighed tiredly. "I can't hear you when you don't speak up, Juvia. Look at me and repeat that."

The sense of wrong exploded in Juvia's heart, shoving the words out of her mouth. "Jace is gone!" she screamed. Her father jerked back, startled. "Jace hasn't been home in a week, and I'm the only one who noticed! What is wrong with you? What is your son to you? Don't you care?" Silence rang in Juvia's ears, tempered only by the drumming of rain on the roof. When she closed her eyes, raindrops ran like tears down the backs of her eyelids.

A high-pitched scream of pain came from upstairs, and rage settled heavily over her father's face. He turned wordlessly and hurried upstairs, taking the steps three at a time.

Juvia stumbled down the hallway and out into the rain, breathing unevenly. Water trickled down her shirt and soaked her to the bone, mingling with the empty tears streaking her finally understood that she meant absolutely nothing to the world, and as she became one with the rain, her heart went numb.

"Juvia, meet your new little brother," Juvia's mother whispered. "Isn't he beautiful?"

Juvia stared, perplexed. She didn't understand how this potato-shaped bundle of squirming pink something was supposed to be beautiful. Mama often said she was beautiful – did that mean she looked like that? The little girl screwed up her nose in disgust. If that was the case, she'd rather be ugly.

"Why doesn't he look like you or Papa?" Juvia asked. "I look like Mama, but he doesn't look like anyone."

"Jace's mama and papa died in an accident. We're adopting him, so now we're his family. That means Juvia, you're his big sister. You have to take care of him, okay?" Her mother coughed into her arm and then smiled at her. "Jace is your little brother now."

Adopting. Juvia rolled the word around her mouth silently, testing it with her teeth and tongue. Big sister. Little brother. She liked the way they tasted. From now on, she was a big sister. Big sisters took care of their little brothers. Juvia would take care of Jace. That was the way it would be.

"Juvia, drink this," Porlyusica ordered, holding out a beaker of something steaming and bubbling. It was a strange shade of green, but as Juvia watched, it turned a sickly orange. She eyed it with trepidation.

"Will this cure Juvia?"

Porlyusica grunted noncommittally. When her patient continued to cast frightened glances at the admittedly suspicious concoction, she snapped, "Just drink it, for Mavis' sake!" Bravely, Juvia accepted the beaker and swallowed the peculiar orange liquid. It fizzed going down, but surprisingly it had no flavor. In fact, it didn't have much of an effect at all. It wasn't until ten minutes later that she started feeling vilely nauseous. She nearly stained the crisp white sheets of the bed orange, but Porlyusica had the foresight to shove a bucket at her, and her stomach overturned into the metal pail.

Juvia placed the bucket carefully on the floor and picked up the half-empty glass of water. Once she had rinsed out her mouth, she closed her eyes and waited for sleep. Ten minutes later, her sour-faced doctor shook her awake from her uneasy doze to push another beaker into her hand. This one looked harmless enough – still and clear – but the smell rising from it made her reach for her bucket. "Drink," Porlyusica barked. Juvia pinched her nose and downed it in one gulp, immediately chasing it with the rest of her water. A sickly sweet aftertaste with undertones of bitterness clung to her tongue.

"Can Juvia have more water?" she croaked, holding out the empty glass. Silently, Porlyusica handed her a full one and two square pills. Juvia groaned at the sight of the pink pills.

"Juvia can't take anymore!" she wailed. "Please give Juvia a break!"

"Do you want to live?" Porlyusica asked sharply. "Because the whining that's coming out of your throat is saying that you're ready to give up!"

Somewhere in her heart, Juvia's fear took control. "There's no point!" she shouted back. "Juvia is going to disappear, and there is no one who can save her! Juvia is tired of hoping! How is Juvia supposed to fix crushed hopes if she can't even stand up?"

"Humans are all the same," Porlyusica sneered, turning her back to the girl lying helplessly in bed. "Never willing to try because of their stupid fears. Always so ready to give up. Well, you know what?" The medicinal specialist spun on her heel, her red eyes blazing with fury. "I'm not like you and the rest of your kind. I am not going to give up on you, even if you want to die!"

For an endless moment the ever calm and collected Porlyusica stood, cheeks flushed, chest heaving, before a stunned Juvia. The older woman straightened, tugging the edge of her cloak, and turned away. "Just shut up and let me help you." She picked up a book and flipped the page, searching for another recipe to try.

"Thank you," a tiny voice whispered behind her. "Thank you for believing in Juvia."

In answer, Porlyusica thrust the pills at her again.

I'm going to be continuing this whole let's-have-a-peeksie-into-Juvia's-past theme next chapter, so look forward to that. What did you think of the chapter? Good? Anything I should consider? Your feedback is awesome, people, so feel free to leave me a review! Love ya, see you next week!