Author's Note: Hey everyone, and welcome back to A Greenleaf Breeze.
Yep, I was busy writing the next chapter of Slaves during the time I wasn't writing this, so as usual go and check that out if you want to *shameless advertisement*. But anyway, a lot happened last chapter, so I'm super glad I finished up this one! I'm pretty proud of it as well, so I hope you enjoy it. XD
Here are my replies to your wonderful reviews:
PerfectlyClearly- Thanks so much for your review! I really appreciate it. Ashfur's motives are revealed in this chapter, so I think you should like it. :)
RussianBlue279- Thanks a bunch for your continued reviews! Good to know you're enjoying the story. I really like Ashfur and Leafpool as characters. They're just so interesting, and I think it helps for writing when the focus of a story the you're really into the subject you're writing about. Hope you enjoy this chapter!
So last chapter, Ashfur and Leafpool spent their first night together, albeit without too much affection shared. This chapter's primary focus is explaining why everything took place as it did, with a lot of focus put into the consequences of their actions. I think you guys are gonna really like this one!
A Greenleaf Breeze
Chapter Four:
When Ashfur woke up, it was sunrise. His pelt was warm, and his tongue was coarse and dry. There was something pressed up against the side of his face, something that didn't feel like the usual moss and feathers of his nest. That was a strange dream, Ashfur thought. I was with someone, out in the forest…
Groggily, he blinked his eyes open. Once the blurriness had subsided, he felt a wave of surprise flicker through him. Instead of the walls of the warriors den that he'd grown used to, Ashfur was surrounded by trees. Sunlight streamed in through the gaps in the branches, and the tom could hear the chirping of early morning birds up above. The particular tree he was lying under was larger than most, reaching up almost longingly towards the sky. It cast a long shadow, which provided a certain relief from the sun's warmth. Still, he hadn't seen a day so bright in moons.
For a moment, Ashfur just stared straight forward, a little shocked, before lifting his head off the ground. His muscles were aching, and there was an odd tingling sensation in his paws. Everything felt strangely surreal. He breathed in deeply, allowing the scents of the forest to flow into his nostrils. There were the usual rich aromas of prey, but another smell lingered in the air. The scent of a cat. He breathed in again, and it him who the cat was.
Suddenly, memories flowed back into Ashfur's mind. He remembered deciding to go for a walk, and coming across Leafpool by the lake. He remembered the way their eyes had met, and the feelings the eye contact had provoked. He remembered how they'd fallen asleep together under the light of the moon and a billion stars. No wonder he'd thought it was a dream, no wonder everything felt so bizarre.
Ashfur sat up onto his haunches and began to lick his ruffled chest fur. As he groomed himself, he tried to get his head round what had happened. It was confusing; although it was only last night, it felt like it had happened a long time ago. There was a question playing through his head. Why did I do it? The tom wasn't sure. When he had met Leafpool by the lake, he'd felt nothing for her, except a cold indifference because of who her sister was. But it was because she bore such a strong resemblance to Squirrelflight in her body shape and stature that had changed everything. He recalled how it felt like he had been hypnotised when he looked into Leafpool's eyes. Despite the fact they were amber and not pale green, it had been like the ginger she-cat he'd once loved had been standing right there in front of him. For the rest of the night, Ashfur had seen nothing else. He'd imagined it was Squirrelflight's muzzle that was pressed up against his own. He'd imagined it was Squirrelflight who he'd fallen asleep beside. It had all been her.
After Ashfur had finished washing, he glanced down at the spot where he knew Leafpool had been. He ran his paw over the earth, as if the pretty she-cat's compact body was still there, and smirked. Some of his more feral instincts roared like a tiger within him. He was fuelled by an overwhelming desire to touch her again, to feel her pressed up against him. The icy voice whispered in his ear with words like poison. StarClan, when did a she-cat ever feel that good?
Slowly, Ashfur got up to his paws. For a second, they felt so shaky and weak that he thought they might buckle underneath him, but thankfully, they held firm. There was only one thing on his mind, and Ashfur was determined to carry it out. He began to pad away from the shadow of the tree, heading back towards the ThunderClan camp, where he knew Leafpool would be. Seeing her again felt remarkably important considering how little he knew about her.
He padded back to camp in a daze. His mind was consumed by thoughts of the medicine cat, and indeed, all the consequences their meeting could result in. Despite the fact he had been breaking the warrior code, he felt oddly unaffected by it all. Petty things such as the warrior code didn't bother Ashfur as much as they used to. All he cared about was finding her again. When he reached the camp, he only just remembered that his pelt probably stank of Leafpool's scent. Just before he ducked through the bramble tunnel, he made sure to roll around in a nearby patch of ferns to disguise his scent.
It was peculiar that the camp seemed so normal. Just an average day in the life of ThunderClan, for them anyway. It was still early, so not many cats were awake, but more and more warriors were appearing from their nests. Brambleclaw was awake, as well as Firestar, two cats who usually sparked fiery hatred inside him whenever he saw them, but this time, he was so away from everything that he didn't notice them. They hadn't organised the morning patrols yet, but when Brambleclaw saw him come in, he stood up and padded over.
'Ashfur,' the deputy said, sounding annoyed. 'Go out for another morning walk?'
'I'm sorry Brambleclaw,' he replied absently. His mind was elsewhere. 'I won't do it again.'
The brown tabby looked surprised that he hadn't received a sharp retort. 'Oh, okay,' he said, ears twitching. 'Well, you'll be needed for a hunting patrol at sundown, so make sure you're not late.'
Ashfur shrugged, before weaving his way past him and heading over towards the medicine cat den. Just before he could escape, Brambleclaw stopped him.
'Are you alright, Ashfur?' he asked, tilting his head to one side. 'You look a bit distant.'
He shrugged again. Brambleclaw started to say something else, but then apparently decided against it, and nodded for him to leave.
Ashfur continued on his way over to the medicine cat's den. He could sense the deputy watching him from behind, but he ignored it. He didn't care what that foxheart thought of him. In fact, he didn't care what anyone thought of him at that moment, except for one.
'Um, hello?'
Leafpool had felt breathless ever since she'd arrived back at camp. It was like something immeasurably large had been crushed inside her, squeezing any of the air out of her lungs. She couldn't think at all. Her mind was full of stars and moonlight and dark grey fur, but most of all, utter disbelief. She couldn't comprehend what had taken place. One second we were just talking, she thought, the next we were-
The medicine cat was trying to go about it all reasonably. She had woken up at the crack of dawn, before Ashfur had. Upon seeing him holding her so closely, their tails entwined, she'd pulled away as quietly as she could and dashed back to the safety of the camp. Luckily, no one had seemed to notice Leafpool's absence, but that didn't comfort her in anyway. She was lost in a whirlwind of confusing emotion, so strong she thought she might be sick, but she was also ashamed. After all the heartbreak she'd suffered the first time with Crowfeather, she'd only gone and broken the warrior code again. You can't meet him anymore, she told herself, you won't even be able to talk to him anymore. You hardly ever talked to him in the first place! He's a warrior, let alone the fact he was in love with your sister.
The thought struck her particularly hard. He was in love with Squirrelflight. How could she have let this happen, especially with a tom as off limits as Ashfur? She tried to take her mind back to when he'd turned towards her on the way back from the lake. Just imagining the way he'd held her in his paws made Leafpool feel woozy, like she'd eaten too much catmint. It was the feeling that came only when someone told you they loved you, and you loved them back. It made you feel special. She'd experienced it before, with Crowfeather, and ever since, she'd missed the feeling. Was that why she'd lost control? Because that was exactly what Ashfur had offered her?
Suddenly, the voice of a tom came again and Leafpool raised her head. She was so caught up in her own thoughts that she had barely noticed it. Jaypaw was sat in his nest, glaring at her with the usual annoyed expression on his face. He must've been waiting for her attention for some time, because when he spoke again, he sounded impatient.
'Good to know my esteemed mentor has the listening range of a stick,' the medicine cat apprentice said sarcastically.
Quickly, Leafpool shook herself and turned to face him. 'Sorry,' she apologised, forcing herself to concentrate. 'I was talking about- um-'
'Horsetail.'
'Oh yes, horsetail,' she murmured, now just feeling embarrassed. 'I'll have to go and collect some later.'
Jaypaw's ears twitched. He was looking straight in her direction, and even though she knew he couldn't really see her, it was like he was stripping her apart, layer by layer. 'What's going on, Leafpool?' he demanded suspiciously.
'What's going on?' she laughed, perhaps a little too quick. 'Nothing. Nothing at all.'
'Oh please, don't give me that foxdung,' he snorted. 'You're never usually this distracted.'
Leafpool pressed her lips together, deciding the best thing to do would to be to keep silent. She fully expected Jaypaw to keep pressing the matter, knowing his usual unsympathetic demeanour, but for once, he didn't continue. Instead, he just sat back in his nest and looked grumpy (apparently not much else had changed).
The she-cat longed to say something to him. Whenever her eyes fell upon her son, it was an unhappy reminder of happier times. I've failed, Leafpool thought. I've failed him, and his littermates, as a mother. They knew nothing about their parents mistakes, nothing about their half-Clan heritage. If her terrible secret ever got out, it would ruin their lives in ThunderClan. Her heart yearned for a closer relationship with Jaypaw, one that reflected their maternal bond better, but she knew something like that that could never happen. He hated her for ruining his chance as a warrior, and now, by falling asleep with Ashfur, she'd managed to land herself with another secret to keep.
The two of them stayed in awkward silence for awhile, before eventually Jaypaw got up to his paws. 'I'm going,' he grunted. 'Hollypaw promised that she'd tell me about her training.'
Leafpool sensed the hidden meaning behind what her apprentice had said, but she didn't dare protest. He turned to leave, when suddenly, it occurred to Leafpool that she hadn't done any herb theory with Jaypaw in awhile.
'Wait!' she exclaimed, making him pause. 'Once I've finished here, I'll come and find you with Hollypaw so that we can go out together. There are still a few herbs we haven't covered yet.'
Jaypaw muttered something incoherent under his breath, but didn't complain aloud as he padded out of the den. She watched him head over to the fresh kill pile through the lichen. It seemed to be a recurring theme for the tom to just storm out of the den whenever he felt like it. Leafpool made a mental note to warn him about it at some point.
The she-cat let out a small sigh. The horsetail smelt stronger than it usually did. She begun to reorganise the pile, hoping it would serve as a distraction from the issues of Ashfur and Jaypaw, but now that she was alone in the den it was even worse. She did it anyway, moving them into order from old to new until she was satisfied. Her tail flicked nervously from side to side. There was a sense of paranoia inside her; she was worried someone might've been watching her with Ashfur last night. She knew that StarClan would have been doing so, and she also knew that they would be angry with her. Will they ever speak to me again after this? she thought. Why would they, not that Ive betrayed the warrior code twice?
Suddenly, she heard the sound of paw steps at the front of the den. Someone must've come for treatment. Leafpool forced a smile onto her a face, hoping that she looked normal, and turned around to greet the cat-
Her heart leaped into her throat when she saw who it was. Ashfur.
The dark grey tomcat was stood in the frame of the entrance, his icy blue eyes flashing in the sunlight behind him. He appeared massive to her, filling up the whole den. She heard a sharp intake of breath, nervous and tense. The medicine cat wondered who it had been, before realising it had come from her.
Their eyes met, and once more, Leafpool found herself captivated by the depth of emotion in his stare. It was strong and powerful, totally unflinching. She had to pull her eyes away from them, but she knew Ashfur certainly didn't. He was looking her up and down, from her paws to the top of her head.
'Morning,' he said. The smallest of smirks was evident on his lips.
She couldn't reply. The presence of Ashfur in the den had made everything seem totally different, like she wasn't in the same place anymore. Once the original shock of seeming him had passed, she recovered herself and tried to face him with a level expression.
'M-morning Ashfur,' Leafpool stuttered. She desperately wanted to say something else to him, something that reflected the emotions that were raging inside her, but she couldn't find the words.
The tom stared at her for a moment longer, before padding into the den fully. He sniffed as the scent of the herbs hit his nostrils. 'Are you glad to see me?' he asked, as he reached forward and brushed his claws against one of the piles of herbs on the side.
Leafpool clasped and unclasped her paws together awkwardly. She was looking straight down at the floor. 'I'm not sure I am,' she murmured.
Ashfur appeared surprised at this. He withdrew his paw and faced her square on. 'And why's that?'
She opened her mouth, but nothing came out.
He tapped his paw with the tip of his tail. Leafpool didn't think he even knew he'd done it, before finally, he took a step closer to the she-cat. 'And why's that?' he repeated.
Leafpool shook her head, still unable to answer. Self consciously, she took a step back, not wanting the dark grey tom to get too close. 'Look, Ashfur,' she said, trying to keep her voice from wavering. 'What happened last night. It should never have happened.'
His eyes narrowed as soon as the words passed her lips, but she carried on before he could interrupt. 'It's against the warrior code! It goes against everything it means to be a Clan cat.'
Ashfur took another step closer before she could react. His expression was dark. 'Oh, and I assume you know everything there is to know about that, don't you Leafpool?
The reference to her relationship with Crowfeather stung painfully, and she wished that she could contradict him, tell him that he was wrong, but she knew she couldn't. 'That- that doesn't matter,' she told him weakly. 'I can't ever meet you like I did last night.'
Ashfur curled his lip, and for a second, she thought that he might hiss at her. He managed to stop himself just in time. 'Then why did you do it?'
'Do what?'
'Why did you fall asleep with me?'
Leafpool thought about it for a moment, and a few answers came to mind. It was flattering! I couldn't hep myself! You deceived me! She considered telling him the conclusion she'd come to earlier, about missing the feeling of love and affection that Crowfeather gave her, but for some reason, none of them felt entirely truthful. She didn't want to lie to Ashfur. If he deserved anything at all from her, it was the truth.
'I don't know,' she mumbled.
Ashfur nodded, and as if from nowhere, the smirk reappeared on his face. 'Well, I think I know,' he replied, leaning in so that their muzzles were nearly touching.
Now that he was this close, Leafpool was painfully aware of just how much taller than her he was. She struggled to keep herself calm. For the second time in two days, her whiskers were brushing against Ashfur's. 'What?' she said helplessly.
He reached around so that he could whisper into her ear. 'I think you just couldn't resist.'
Gently, he pressed his muzzle into the side of her neck, and rested his paw on her own. Leafpool's eyes fluttered closed, and her throat began to throb with purring. She felt the vibrations as Ashfur joined in, pulling her closer until she could feel the outline of his chest and the muscles beneath. Just like that the previous night, every fibre of her body was screaming at her to pull away, but some part of her didn't want to. She enjoyed the feeling of Ashfur's muzzle, and the soothing caress of his tongue on her fur. It was against the warrior code, but in that soft, wondrous moment, she didn't care. Any form of logic was irrelevant.
But soon enough, the moment passed. Reluctantly, Leafpool pulled herself away from the warmth of his muzzle. His paws still ensnared her within his grasp, but the intimate contact had been broken.
'Ashfur,' she whispered. 'This is-'
'Amazing?'
'Wrong.'
At this, Ashfur did pull away. The annoyed, darkened expression had returned to his face. 'Don't talk to me about right and wrong, Leafpool,' he snapped. 'You want this just as much as I do.'
The medicine cat shook her head, but there was a sinking feeling in her gut. The dark grey tom glared at her angrily for a second, before turning his back. 'Meet me by the same tree where we slept last night. Moonhigh, out in the forest.'
Leafpool's eyes widened in horror. 'Ashfur, I can't.'
He laughed, but didn't turn back around. 'Oh but you can, and you will.'
'You can't make me.'
Ashfur's shoulders stiffened, just as he was about to leave the den. 'Who said that I had to make you?'
And before she could say another word, the tom disappeared out into the camp, leaving her alone for the second time that day.
Leafpool was still dumbfounded long after he'd gone. Her breathing was fast and shallow, and her chest felt heavy. It was like something was slipping away through her paws, faster than she could blink. What was happening to her? What was going on? It had taken her moons to salvage her reputation in ThunderClan after the first time, and now, she could be about to ruin it again. She hoped that Ashfur would come back in, so that she could explain how it was impossible for any kind of relationship between them to work. She hoped he would just accept it would a smile and a nod, so that they just put all of it behind them and never worry about it again. But of course, that wasn't the case.
She closed her eyes for a moment; perhaps it would all be a dream. When she opened them, she was still very much awake. Leafpool tried to pull herself together. Come on! she thought. You can't dwindle of this. You promised you'd take Jaypaw out for training.
Her resolve helped her to ignore what had just transpired with Ashfur. She padded forward, her face completely monotonous, and stepped outside into the camp. Jaypaw and Hollypaw were sat by the fresh kill, enjoying some prey together. Leafpool dared not look around in case Ashfur was there as well, and for once, looking at her son and daughter sat like that didn't bother her.
'Hey!' she called out, as she approached. 'It's time to go training.'
Jaypaw raised his head when Leafpool reached him, having picked up her scent. 'Do we have to go now?' he complained. 'Hollypaw was just telling me-'
'No excuses,' she interrupted tersely. 'We're going.'
Jaypaw groaned, before muttering an apology to Hollypaw that he couldn't stay longer. She smiled, gesturing it was fine. Reluctantly, the tom followed Leafpool away from his prey towards the entrance. Her mind had gone blank about what herbs she was going to teach him about, but the medicine cat sensed it would help her stress if she was away from the rest of the Clan.
She let Jaypaw to leave the camp first, allowing her to spare one last look around at her Clan mates. She found that she couldn't see Ashfur amongst the crowds, but she didn't bother to look, following her apprentice out gratefully.
It was night time again. The sun had given away to the inky black sky, and the stars were shining as brightly as ever. Leafpool glanced up at them, pondering whether the disapproving eyes of StarClan were trailed solely on her.
She was back where she'd fallen asleep the previous night. The tree, now when she had more time to concentrate on it, was old and rotting. The minimal leaves left on the branches were brown and orange already, much different to the sharp green colour of the rest of the foliage. It wasn't quite moonhigh yet, but Leafpool had arrived early. After she'd finished her session with Jaypaw, she'd headed almost directly over to where Ashfur had told her to meet him.
She felt terrible. Despite the fact she'd begged herself not to go, not to break the warrior code any more than she'd already had, she had still given into the temptation and come to the spot. It was exactly like Ashfur had said. She just hadn't been able to resist.
The deathly silence was making her impatient. Was he going to turn up at all, or had she just been set up? But why would he do that? Leafpool argued with herself. It would be pointless. Right?
Then, a nearby twig snapped. She got up to her paws, staring intently at where the noise had come from. A familiar scent hit her nose, and from the gloom emerged a pair of blue eyes. He had come.
Ashfur moved forward until he was fully in sight, and then shook himself of the remnants of the undergrowth he'd come through. He didn't look at all surprised at her presence. Instead, the same smirk remained prominent on his face.
'You came,' he breathed.
'Yes,' Leafpool said. 'I did.'
He padded closer, and this time, Leafpool didn't back away. 'You said that you wouldn't.'
She inhaled slowly through her nose, before meeting his gaze as calmly as she could. 'Did you really believe that?'
So that's the end of Chapter Four! As usual, I'll get going on Chapter Five as soon as I've finished up Chapter... I think it's Chapter Eleven of Slaves. Jesus, I'm losing track of my own story! :D
