Category: Gen
Setting: 1X18 "A.K.A."
Characters/Pairings: Jake Green, Robert Hawkins
Rating/Warning: K+
Summary: Jake had felt fear before, but nothing compared to the terror of seeing that nuclear bomb buried in Hawkins' shed.
Note: This scene in the last five minutes of "A.K.A." is just so powerful to me. There's no words, but you can see the emotions and thoughts on their faces. Superb acting on the parts of Lennie James and Skeet Ulrich! The two quotes are from the episode and spoken by Hawkins and then Jake.
Disclaimer: Neither Jericho nor its characters belong to me.
Fear
Jake had felt fear before. It was a feeling he had regrettably become accustomed too. He had been afraid when he first joined up with Jonah Prowse and learned of the side business. He had been afraid the night he left and Chris had died. He had been afraid in Afghanistan and Iraq when he was driving through enemy territory. But nothing—nothing!—compared to the pure terror he felt when he looked into that hole in the floor of the shed and saw a nuclear bomb in his hometown.
Jake could handle fear. He'd had to learn to with the choices he had made. He had handled the fear when he first joined up with Jonah by saying he was just the lookout, he wasn't doing anything wrong. He had countered the fear the night Chris had died by running as far away as he possibly could. In Afghanistan and Iraq he had dealt with his fear at the end of the gun. But this? How could he handle this fear? What could he do against a nuclear bomb and the man who had brought it to his hometown?
Jake backed away, unable to tear his eyes away from the hole in the floor. He couldn't see the bomb, but he knew it was there and that was enough to send fear coursing through him. His heart was pounding like it would burst out of his chest and Hawkins just sat there as calm as you please. His face revealed nothing, but he watched Jake like a hawk watches for a rabbit. If the story this man was telling was true—and he believed him. God help him, he believed every word—then the world he had thought he knew and understood had been just as destroyed as if that bomb in the ground had gone off.
He should have made Hawkins stop. He shouldn't have listened to his story. He should have insisted that Jimmy call for backup and brought Hawkins in. Then he wouldn't be standing over a nuclear bomb confronting fear like he had never felt before. He was going to be sick. He put a hand over his mouth, half out of habit and half to keep himself from throwing up. Jake looked back to Hawkins and saw the tension in the man's shoulders as he got to his feet and moved to stand beside him. How had the man handled living this long with knowing what he had helped to do? With what he had buried away?
Whatever happens next, that is going to be up to you.
Jake looked at Hawkins, to the bomb, and then out to where Jimmy was swiftly approaching. The fear coursed through him, his heart pounding in his ears. He felt dizzy and wondered what would happen if he were to just collapse. He couldn't breath and he met Hawkins's eyes, knowing that everything would change with his answer. He had felt fear before. He'd handled it by lying to himself, by running away, by shooting without asking questions. But this wasn't only about him. This fear was different. This wasn't the fear of illegal activity or driving through hostile territory. This was more. This was a fear that, if he made the wrong decision, could cost the lives of everyone he cared for. How could he handle a fear that went beyond himself?
He's FBI, just like he said.