Sorry I didn't update sooner! It's been a relatively busy day for me. Dunno if anyone cares, but the US won the women's World Cup against Japan today. Go US (sorry Japan)! I'm wearing makeup for the first time in forever, and my hair (for once) is cooperating and not getting in my face. It's a good day.

So this chapter is kinda all over the place. I've been having a weird sort of mental block on this and this chapter is the result. Don't judge – I haven't been required to use my brain in like two or three weeks and it's beginning to transform into mush. Anyway, enjoy!

This kind of forgetting does not erase memory, it lays the emotion surrounding the memory to rest. - Clarissa Pinkola Estes

Juvia was going to have to kill her brother. Or at least permanently maim him. After all, if it wasn't for him, Gray wouldn't be sitting awkwardly on one of Porlyusica's stumps and staring much too directly at her. Juvia shifted uncomfortably, looking anywhere and everywhere except at the love of her life.

He had showed up ten minutes earlier, hands in his pockets, the picture of a casual visitor. Porlyusica had taken one look at him, heaved a long sigh, and said, "You might as well come in then." The old woman wasn't in the mood to argue pointlessly with someone who was clearly determined to make his way inside.

And that led them to the present. Juvia shifted her weight for the fifth time. "Gray-sama–"

"Mavis, do you have to call me that?" Gray burst out. "We're friends, right? Just call me by my name like any normal friend."

At this, Juvia looked at him levelly, even as joy coursed through her veins. She was pretty sure it was the first time he had acknowledged their relationship as anything more than guild mates. "Juvia does not want to be a 'normal friend' to you, Gray-sama."

He sighed exasperatedly and ran his hand through his hair. "Fine, whatever." They sat in silence, the only sounds being the quiet swish of turning pages. After a full three empty minutes, Porlyusica snapped her book shut. Juvia jumped, startled. She had been focusing intently on the place where a splotchy red stain had taken up residence on the otherwise pristine white sheets. It was from Porlyusica's latest, and in Juvia's humble opinion, most vile concoction, when Juvia had spat out the first sip almost before it touched her tastebuds. Porlyusica force-fed her the rest, and she could still taste the bile that had risen after she swallowed.

"Gray Fullbuster," Porlyusica said. He nodded, a shallow furrow forming between his brows. "You're here." He nodded again, looking even more confused. However, Juvia had spent quite a few consecutive hours with this woman, and she saw with dawning horror where she was leading them. "You're here," Porlyusica repeated, "Which means one of two things."

Juvia shut her eyes tightly and prayed with every fiber of her being. She didn't believe in God or any other divine being, but she prayed anyway.

Dear Lord, Buddha-sama, First Master, anyone, please. Please don't let Gray-sama find out. Please, please, please. Please grant this wish.

"Either you know, or you're here for answers," Porlyusica continued, looking straight at Gray. "Now, tell me, which is it?"

Please, please, please please pleasepleaseplease.

A warm hand gripped her elbow, dragging her eyes open. Juvia realized her lips had been moving silently with each word and forced them to stop. "Juvia," he said, his voice a low rumble that buzzed in her fading fingertips.

"Gray-sama, Juvia–"

"Tell me what's going on," he interrupted, his tone commanding. But there was a pleading note in his eyes that knocked Juvia off-balance. Never had she seen him so unsure of himself, so hesitant. He looked almost…scared. Afraid that she wouldn't tell him, or maybe afraid that she would.

Juvia lifted her hands from where they were twisted in the sheets to examine them. They were almost entirely gone, only a faint outline and her memory reminding her that they had once been complete, healthy, even pretty hands. She frowned at her transparent fingers. If she squinted, she could almost imagine she could see the particles breaking away and floating off into space, leaving nothing but a hole behind. "Have you ever wondered what would happen if, one day, you simply vanished?" she asked Gray, who was staring in shock at her hands – or rather, through them.

"Juvia, your– You– What–" he choked out, reaching out blindly as if to touch her and reassure himself she was really there. Juvia laid her ghostly fingers over his wrist, making him freeze.

"What do you think would happen?" she pressed softly. Somewhere in the back of her mind, she wondered why she was so calm. Just before, she had been so panicked, but it didn't seem to matter anymore. "Do you think your friends would look for you, or would they think you had died on a job? Would they wonder if you had decided to leave, or if someone had threatened you?" Her voice dropped lower. "Would they forget about you?"

"No one would forget," Gray said, his voice loud in the muffled silence. "No one would ever forget if one of us suddenly disappeared, Juvia." His dark eyes bored into Juvia's, trying to make her understand. But she shook her head; he was the one who didn't understand.

"They have to forget," she whispered. "All of you have to forget Juvia. The days you knew Juvia will be nothing more than a faraway dream. You won't search. You won't mourn. Everyone in Fairy Tail will smile and laugh and be happy, because that is what Juvia loves most about all of you."

"Why?" Gray asked, his voice strangled. "Why can I see through you?" Juvia held up her palm to the light. Once, the delicate bones of her fingers would have shown through her translucent skin, but now all she saw was bright light and a misty outline of what used to be her hand.

"Water evaporates," she said simply. "When there is nothing to protect it from the open air, all water will disperse and vanish in time. Juvia is no different."

Gray stood so abruptly the stump he was sitting on tipped over. He spun around, turned back, and stared at his hands helplessly. He needed to do something, anything. Restless energy was eating him from the inside out, and the patient calm on Juvia's face was only making it worse. "I have to– You can't just– It's not– Fuck!" He whirled and slammed out of Porlyusica's small house, his mind empty. He didn't know where he was going. He didn't know what he was doing. The only thought coursing through him was of Juvia's hands. He ran through the clearing and deeper into the woods, not knowing anything but the simple fact that he had to – just had to – save her.

"Somehow, that was just what Juvia expected," the young woman breathed, wondering at herself. How was it possible for someone to be so calm one moment and so broken in the next? Frozen, bitter tears pooled in her eyes, making her bit her lip and hold her breath. She wouldn't cry, wouldn't wouldn't wouldn't. She was done pitying herself. Now it was time for her to be strong; she had to remember what was important.

They must not cry. The faces of her friends – Gajeel, Lucy, Erza, Natsu, Mira, Levy, Wendy, Elfman, Cana, Gray – those faces were meant to smile. Juvia would not change that, no matter what. Fairy Tail was everything to her. Even if it meant they forgot her, even if it meant forgetting herself, she would not hesitate to ensure their happiness.

Her eyes dry, Juvia turned back to the window. The clearing was dark now, and clouds blanketed the silken night sky. She closed her eyes.

Please, Mavis, let them forget. Let them be happy.

Gray bent over, hands on his knees, his breath coming in heavy pants. He didn't know how far he'd run, but it was fully dark by now, clouds hiding the moon and even the stars. He could barely see his hands in front of him. Straightening up, he turned in a circle, straining to see something. Nothing appeared through the black, and he dropped to the ground.

Water evaporates.

"Fuck that," he said aloud, a little reassured at the sound of his own voice. "Fuck that. Why should Juvia have to disappear? There's no way I'm gonna sit by and let that happen. Not a chance in fucking hell."

What do you think would happen?

"No, no, no. Fuck no. It's not happening. I won't let it."

All of you have to forget Juvia.

"Forget how?' he asked the dark forest hoarsely. "How am I supposed to forget you when you've always been right there?"

You won't search. You won't mourn.

"Stop," Gray whispered to the echo of her voice bouncing off the walls of his skull. "This isn't fucking funny, Juvia."

Everyone in Fairy Tail will smile and laugh and be happy, because that is what Juvia loves most about all of you.

A light hand on his shoulder made him look up, an irrational voice in his mind whispering, Juvia.

Porlyusica's solemn red eyes scowled down at him. "Get up," she said. "We're going back."

He stood slowly, his joints protesting wearily. He stumbled after Porlyusica, squinting until his eyes adjusted to the brightness of her lantern. "When did it start?" he asked.

"About a week ago. She'll be lucky to last another, at this rate. Although, without her legs she can't go off on any more jobs with irresponsible young men." The sour note in Porlyusica's voice was evident. Gray grimaced.

"I never would've agreed if–"

"No," the old woman sighed. "You wouldn't have. But she never would have told you without a push. You ought to be grateful to that brother of hers – it would've taken at least another week for you to find out otherwise." The lantern bobbed along in front of them, illuminating the narrow path. Gray had to focus hard on the ground in front of him to keep from tripping over roots.

"I just don't get it. Why not tell me? Wouldn't it be better if I knew? I could help her." Porlyusica snorted.

"You're dumber than I thought. You ought to know that girl better by now." She stopped and turned to face him, holding the lantern high between them. "She loves you, doesn't she?" Gray nodded slowly. "And she wants to be around you as much as possible." Gray nodded again. "So why would she tell you she's got a problem if she knows that you'd just run off looking for a cure?"

"But what if I found a way to save her?" Gray countered. "Isn't it worth letting me go?"

Porlyusica sighed. "That girl doesn't think there's a point to looking for something that simply isn't there." She turned away and began walking away, leaving Gray slack-jawed and frozen. "I'll leave you behind," Porlyusica said, snapping him out of his reverie. He jogged after her.

"But– You're trying to save her, aren't you?" There had to be a way to fix Juvia. Some way to make her whole again. She couldn't be past saving – she just couldn't. He couldn't picture a Fairy Tail without Juvia. Somehow, she'd snuck in and inserted herself so firmly in his life that it would take an apocalypse to shake her loose. Her presence was as familiar as if he had known her his whole life. Without it, he might lose himself. Nothing would ever be right.

"Trying isn't the same as doing, brat." Frustration and desperation warred on Porlyusica's face as she turned back to glance at him. "I'm trying, but so far nothing is working."

They entered the hollow tree in silence. Porlyusica went straight back to her table, which was strewn with various plants and herbs and stoppered bottles of strange liquids. Gray loitered in the entranceway, sort of afraid to face Juvia after running out earlier.

"She's asleep," Porlyusica said, her back still turned toward him. "She spent all day testing different cures. She won't wake up anytime soon." Gray pondered the hint of softness in her words as he cautiously approached Juvia's bedside. Her eyes closed, she looked so…at peace. Gray couldn't remember the last time he had seen her with that expression when she was awake. Maybe never. But there were still signs of her troubles – faint lines around her mouth and eyes, furrows that had been dug by anxiety and sadness. As he watched, she frowned and turned onto her side. She mumbled something incomprehensible to herself, screwing up her nose like she smelled something bad. Gray cracked a smile. It was almost…cute.

…Cute.

No.

No, no, no.

Absolutely not.

No.

"You look like someone just told you you're pregnant," Porlyusica remarked dryly, observing from her stool beside the experiment table. Gray closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

"I'm just… Thinking."

"She loves you a lot, you know."

"Yeah, I kn– What?" He blinked at the grouchy old woman. She scowled back at him.

"Don't give me 'what'. If you don't know that girl's head-over-heels in love with you a thousand times over, you're thicker than a brick and deaf as a rock. She never stops talking about you. Adding that honorific and everything. It's annoying as hell."

Gray groaned. "You're telling me. I'm the one who gets molested on a daily basis. I'm pretty sure I'd notice even if I were dead. I was just surprised you brought it up."

Porlyusica shrugged carelessly. "I brought it up because I don't think you've gotten it through your thick skull yet, and I don't want you to realize once it's too late. She loves you more than life itself, boy. One of the few redeeming factors of the human race, that kind of love. Annoys the bejeezus out of me."

"I know she loves me," Gray said quietly. "How could I not?"

"How indeed?" Porlyusica muttered irritably. Gray didn't reply. His fingers twisted together unconsciously, and his eyes followed the tangle of Juvia's hair from her scalp to where it rested gently on her shoulder. He listened carefully to the soft sound of her breathing and wondered if he could stop her from vanishing if he just held onto that sound. If he could keep the sound of her life in his head, would it keep her there, whole and real and alive?

He leaned forward onto the bed, letting his hand wander out and find her slender, cool arm, He ran his fingers over the smooth skin, tracing his way down to her misty palms. He stopped at her wrist and held it loosely, caressing the blue veins peeking out from under the pale skin. That was how he fell asleep, almost, but not quite, holding Juvia's crippled hand.

She smelled like spring rain, cool and a little bit sweet. It was odd, what one noticed about the complete strangers standing in front of you in line for a bagel. Her bright blue hair cascaded in shining waves just past her shoulders, swaying when she shifted her weight from one foot to the other. She wore all blue, too – blue dress, blue tights, blue boots, blue hat – but she carried a frilly pink umbrella. No matter how long he examined her, Gray couldn't quite get a read on this girl.

The line moved and the girl stepped forward. Gray followed her, blinking hard. The air around her was distorted – no, that wasn't right. There was something in the air.

It was raining.

A heavy grey raincloud floated above the girl's head, its dark underbelly pregnant with water. It released its load seemingly endlessly on the girl, but she seemed unconcerned. She simply lifted the pink umbrella and opened it above her head, twirling it idly back and forth.

Gray reached out hesitantly to tap her shoulder. There was something familiar about this girl. The rain stung his skin as though it were salt water on an open wound. He flinched, but pushed forward and tapped the girl quickly on the shoulder, withdrawing his hand speedily.

Time slowed as she turned around to face him. Her dark eyes looked into his expectantly, and he almost choked as he inhaled.

He could see through her to the back of the person behind her. She rippled and undulated as though she were a cloud of smoke pressed into human form. She smiled happily at him and opened her mouth to speak, but no words came out. Her lips moved silently again and again.

The low chatter of the cafe fell away and the world became nothing more than endless black. The thought crossed Gray's mind that if there was nothing in outer space except the darkness, that was what it would look like.

"Gray-sama," the girl said lightly, still beaming at him like he was the best thing she'd seen all day. "Gray-sama, Juvia loves you."

Juvia.

"Juvia, I'm going to save you, just–" Gray cut off to watch in silent horror as tendrils curled away from Juvia's ethereal body, floating away and evaporating into nothing. "Wait," he tried to shout, but it came out as more of a strangled whisper. "Juvia, hang on a little longer, I'll–"

"Gray-sama, Juvia loves you." She smiled even wider, reaching out to touch Gray's hand. Her fingers passed through his like she wasn't there, and still she smiled. "You have to forget now."

"No."

"Gray-sama, please forget Juvia. Juvia wants you to be happy without her. Please." The incessant smile bored into his eyes, searing his retinas and blinding him until all he could see was burning white. "Gray-sama."

He groped for something, anything to hold onto. The light was making him dizzy and more than a little nauseous, and it felt like the ground beneath his feet was shaking. "Gray-sama!"

A flash of cold and wet wiped the strange white world away and sent Gray shooting to his feet, spluttering and coughing. "What…the hell?" he gasped, wiping water out of his eyes. Something metal and hard thwacked him upside the head, making him stagger backwards. He knocked into the stump he'd been sitting on and tumbled to the floor. He lay there spreadeagled, wondering what sort of nasty karma this was.

"Awake yet?" an all-too-familiar voice growled from somewhere above him, and he opened his eyes to see Porlyusica standing over him, wielding a metal bucket.

"Unfortunately," Gray replied sourly. "What kind of wake-up call was that? Couldn't you have called my name or something?" Porlyusica snorted.

"Call his name, he says. We tried that, as well as half a dozen other things. Do you have a stomach of steel or something? Most people would wake up after being force-fed slug pellets."

Gray shuddered. That explained the nausea. "You're like a walking safety hazard or something. I don't even want to know what slug pellets are, let alone what else you did to me."

"Good morning, Gray-sama," Juvia's voice said softly. Gray paused in his efforts to drag himself onto his feet.

"Um… Yeah. Hi." He averted his eyes from the bed, unsure of how he was supposed to face Juvia after his whole freak out the night before. "What time is it, anyway?"

"Time for you to get off your ass and do something useful," Porlyusica grumbled, setting her bucket down and moving back to her table. It was even more of a mess than it had been the last time he had seen it, and Gray wondered if she had slept at all.

"Um… Juvia would like to ask you for a favor, Gray-sama." He glanced up at Juvia, who was sitting up and looking out the window, facing away from him. "Would you go to the guild and tell everyone what's going on? Juvia would like them to know."

Gray frowned and finished getting up. "Yeah, but… Are you sure you want to tell them? You were so adamant about keeping it a secret from everyone possible before." She shook her head quickly, never looking away from the clearing beyond the glass.

"Juvia is sure. She is ready to tell them now, only…" She sighed. "Juvia's legs have stopped working, so she can't go herself. Which is why Juvia is asking Gray-sama."

Gray shoved his hands into the depths of his pockets. "I'll tell them for you. But you have to promise me something."

Juvia turned to face him, her brows drawn together. "What is it?" Gray took a long, deep breath.

"Swear you won't go anywhere while I'm gone."

Juvia smiled sadly. "Juvia can't go anywhere anymore, Gray-sama. But Juvia promises."

Gray nodded grimly once before slipping out the door. Juvia watched him leave the clearing, his shoulders hunched against the wind, and pondered the meaning of the simple promise.

Swear you won't go anywhere while I'm gone.

She gasped and buried her face in her hands, pressing the heels of her palms into her eyes.

He hadn't meant getting up and leaving.

"Juvia promises," she whispered, bending forward so her nose touched the blanket. It smelled like old fabric and salt. "Juvia promises she won't disappear while Gray-sama isn't here."

Gray paused outside the entrance to the guild hall. She'd said she was ready, but…

But.

He didn't know if he was ready.

Saying the words out loud would make it real in a way that Juvia's transparent fingers hadn't.

He didn't want it to be real.

"You're the one who wanted to know," he reminded himself aloud, gritting his teeth. "No turning back now." Gray stepped forward and pushed through the wide wooden doors, just in time to get hit by Natsu, who came flying at him at the speed of sound. They toppled to the ground in a mess of flailing limbs and curses. "You asshole," Gray growled, shoving Natsu off his stomach.

"Haha, my bad, Gray," Natsu chuckled apologetically. "I was fighting with Gajeel and he hit me harder than I thought he would." This said, he whirled to shout at the culprit. "Hey bastard! I'm gonna get you back for that!" He tried to scramble to his feet, but Gray grabbed him by his scarf and pulled him back to the floor. "What, you wanna fight too?" Natsu demanded, a bright glow in his cheeks.

"No, idiot," Gray grumbled, getting to his feet and brushing himself off. "I have something to talk to everyone about. It's important."

Natsu recognized the serious gleam in Gray's eyes and stood too. "Okay, I'm listening."

Gray closed his eyes and drew in a lungful of air.

Ready or not, it was time to tell them.

After all, it would be a lot harder to save Juvia by himself.

So thoughts? Review and I'll love you for eternity :) Well, that's a lie. I'll love you for about ten seconds (maybe even a whole minute if you review real good) before my thoughts move on to other things. But I really appreciate the reviews!